The Ramsey Show Highlights

My Mom Expects Me To Pay $25k For Her Funeral

10 min
Apr 29, 2026about 1 month ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

A caller seeks advice on whether to pay for her mother's $25,000-$26,000 funeral, which the mother cannot afford on her $1,600 monthly Social Security income. Dave Ramsey advises against prepaying funerals, recommends a $5,000-$6,000 budget aligned with national averages, and suggests the caller use the mother's home sale proceeds to reimburse herself after the mother's death.

Insights
  • Funeral homes employ aggressive sales tactics targeting vulnerable families, upselling unnecessary add-ons like $400 video tributes to those who cannot afford them
  • Prepaying funerals is a poor financial decision with zero return on investment and significant opportunity cost, especially for younger individuals
  • Pre-planning (selecting casket, service details, budget) without prepaying is the optimal approach, removing decision burden from grieving family members
  • The funeral industry operates on exceptionally high margins, making it one of the most profitable sectors relative to actual service delivery
  • Adult children should not subsidize parents' lifestyle choices in death; funeral expenses should be covered by the deceased's own assets or estate
Trends
Predatory sales practices in funeral industry targeting low-income elderly with unaffordable packagesGrowing awareness of alternative funeral cost reduction strategies (Costco caskets, auction-based home sales)Shift toward pre-planning as estate planning best practice to reduce family burden during griefFuneral industry margins and pricing significantly exceed national average costs, indicating widespread overchargingFinancial responsibility boundaries in multigenerational families regarding end-of-life expenses
Companies
Costco
Mentioned as alternative source for affordable caskets, priced around $1,300 versus funeral home markups
People
Dave Ramsey
Provides financial advice on funeral planning, prepayment risks, and family financial boundaries
Quotes
"You did not live your life in a Mercedes and you shouldn't die in a Mercedes."
Dave RamseyMid-episode
"Never prepay a funeral. Pre-plan your funeral. That's wonderful. That's a gift to your loved ones."
Dave RamseyLate-episode
"The average funeral cost is somewhere between $7,800 and $8,500. That's the average, including rich people."
Dave RamseyMid-episode
"If you want to pay a ridiculous sum for your funeral, you need to have that ridiculous sum in the bank. Don't ask your loved ones to pay for that."
Dave RamseyLate-episode
"It's a car payment on a casket. It's a vehicle. A hearse. Can't even drive it."
Dave RamseyLate-episode
Full Transcript
Brought to you by CHM, a budget-friendly, faith-based alternative to health insurance. chministries.org slash budget. So this call is mainly about my mother. She is on limited income. She makes about $1,600 a month from Social Security. And she hasn't made any afterlife plans. And we went to the funeral home recently, and they quoted us about $25,000 to $26,000 I'm sorry It gets better So obviously, you know, we don't have that kind of money So they said, well, we could do this on a payment plan Yeah, I bet you can $600 for the next five years of your life And I don't even know Yeah, I don't even know if my mom has that amount of time So I'm torn because I'm not Well, that's why I called in I wanted to hear your opinion No, I mean, listen, I love people in my life but the deal is it's not her she doesn't have any money right she does not have any money okay so she's not talking about paying for this she's asking you to pay for this well she didn't she doesn't put it that way she hasn't explicitly asked for it but in a way yeah but i mean that's that's the expectation like she's not got a house that's going to be sold that pays for it she does own her house it's it's in pretty bad shape though and honestly i don't know what kind of money we're going to be able to get out of it well you're going to get 25 000 out of it i hope so i hope at least that yeah if she wants to spend her money on her funeral i don't mind that okay i wouldn't do that but i'm not going to pay for it out of my pocket if i'm you okay and i think that's absurd i think she got sold by a salesman yeah they wanted they wanted four hundred dollars for a video that they were going to make with some of her pictures like there's a bunch of add-ons and ridiculous things that they wanted to throw in there so mom you did not live your life in a Mercedes and you shouldn't die in a Mercedes. If you're serious about budgeting, you can't ignore health care. For most families, it's one of the biggest line items. Y'all, you can cut subscriptions and eating out, but if you're still stuck with a massive premium every month, it going to be stressful Now Christian Health Care Ministries is different It not insurance It believers sharing each other medical bills And the best part programs start at just a month So go to chministries slash budget and use code RAMSEY for 50 credit towards your first month You did not live your life in a Mercedes and you shouldn't die in a Mercedes. And if she doesn't want to sell her home, then that's just... No, no, no. When she dies, it's no question. Okay. When she dies, sell the home. So I would pay for it up front? No, no, no, no. You don't prepay a funeral ever. You pre-plan a funeral. But you never prepay a funeral. You're saying that it's going to take some time from the time that she passes to get the money from the sale of the house. It's going to take a whole lot of time. Yeah, because her house is in horrible condition. So it's going to take over a year probably to get the sale of the house. And you're saying how do I pay? No, we don't know that. You could auction it the next weekend. I mean. Yeah, that's true. Because it's junky. Just have an auctioneer come out and sell the stupid thing and pay for the funeral. Yeah. But I really would advise her to spend money on the funeral appropriate to her situation. There's no gain spiritually in what you spend on a funeral. There's no gain for the people that are left behind that are grieving over what you spend for a funeral. Okay. And so, no, I really, I think she got sold. Yeah, I think that's it. As a matter of fact, I would use a completely different funeral operator. I think this person is a slickster. Okay. Because if I own that funeral home, I don't sell that lady to a $25,000 package. Because this lady's broke. And asking you to put it on payments. I'm not doing business with this guy. Okay. I would go to a different funeral home and say, I want the cheaper casket. You can buy a casket at Costco. You know that. Yes, I do. Absolutely know that. And they're what, $1,300 or something? I saw it the other day. I couldn't believe it. That's crazy. Costco's got freaking everything. And if you buy six, you get a deal. No, I'm kidding. This is getting worse and worse. But truly, the average funeral cost is somewhere between $7,800 and $8,500. That's the average nationally. Yeah. That's the average, including rich people. Exactly. Thank you, Dave. Yeah. So it just gives you a clear indicator that you were being swindled. I would set a budget of five to six grand if I were her If I you I be willing to pay that and be reimbursed when the house sells I would not And that after she dies So after she dies, we'll talk the funeral home and see how long you can wait to pay the bill. A lot of times they'll wait until the estate gets some stuff cleaned up. There may be a little bit of money in her checking or whatever. And you should have your emergency fund in place. And if you want to pay the six grand under the condition you're going to be reimbursed when the house sells, that's fine. I wouldn't do any more than that. That's plenty here. Um, and I wouldn't do business with the people you did that too. Cause that just creeps me out. That's such a, you're 100% right. That is such a hard conversation to have. That sounds like a terrible conversation. Yeah. I, but I mean, she can choose to do otherwise. Yeah, she can choose, but she doesn't have the choice to prepay it because she doesn't have any money. Prepaying a funeral, by the way, people is really dumb. Never prepay a funeral. Pre-plan your funeral. That's wonderful. That's a gift to your loved ones. You mean like buying the burial plots ahead of time? If you want to buy the burial plot, pick the casket, pick out how the service, write everything down how you want it to go and set the budget on it. And they can just write the checks when you die. Then that's a, that's a gift. People that are grieving don't have to make decisions. Yeah, it's already been done. Mom want the Chevrolet coffin or did she want the Mercedes coffin? I don't know about mom. What would mom really want oh brother and you write it all down don't bury me in the diamond wear it you know whatever write write it all down tell people that way when they're grieving it's all planned but do not write a check to the funeral home maybe buy the plots if you want to do that but do not write a check pre-paying the funeral the funeral home because from that point forward you make zero return on your money except for the inflation rate of a funeral which is about the normal inflation rate about four or five percent so you're making nothing on your money funeral homes got your money for what five ten fifteen twenty years i don't know that's a good and don't prepay just pay it when they got pre-plan it is fine so i would say mom here's what i suggest i love you i think a six thousand dollar funeral is fine the average funeral in america is seven and you don't have any money and i gotta pay it when you die and it's got to be reimbursed out of the house and I need to see the will that says that, and we can set all that up, and I'll go to a different funeral home with you, and we can pick out everything and plan it and you going to be just fine and I going to make sure you taken care of with dignity and we will all be sad either way Please don spend the last you have on this earth for a funeral home to have a profit. Now, does your thought process on that, does that play out the same if you're wealthy, the opportunity cost on them holding that money? Oh, for sure. Never prepay. I haven't prepay. I don't recommend you prepay. If you want to buy the plot, that's fine, but don't prepay a funeral. It's the worst deal ever. The younger you are, the dumber the deal is. Well, yeah, because then they're holding the money even longer. Opportunity costs on that money. Yeah. I mean, if you took $6,000 and you're 30, what's that going to be? It's going to be $600,000? Yeah, 10% over it, yeah. $600,000 or $700,000 if it were invested? That's a good point. And, you know, what are you, King Tut? I mean, who needs a $700,000 funeral? I mean, come on. Okay. So, no, you don't need that funeral. That's a bad deal. No, you just, you, opportunity costs a big deal on this stuff. And this is how these people make a living. Right. And they do really well. The margins are, as you might guess, based on this discussion, pretty incredible. Yeah. Oh boy. Yeah. Cause he was about to get sold. Man. Mama done got, mama done signed up for the whole thing for her son to pay $600 a month for five, just a measly five years, easy 60 payments. Oh boy. Oh boy. That's like a car payment on a casket. It's a vehicle. A hearse. Can't even drive it. Can't even drive it. We're making too many jokes. Well, I mean, you got to have some fun with this stuff. You do. I know. People are dying everywhere. That's right. That's right. We got to have some fun. All right. So we've learned something valuable here. Don't prepay your funeral. That's right. And if you want to pay a ridiculous sum for your funeral, you need to have that ridiculous sum in the bank. Don't ask your loved ones to pay for that. That's unfair. That is not right. mom, you should not be doing that. And the funeral home sales guy ought to be smacked silly. That's just irresponsible at a minimum, immoral at a maximum. And so don't sell people stuff they can't afford people. It's not a good way to make a living. You should make a living otherwise. You should do something completely different from that. Christian Healthcare Ministries can save your family hundreds of dollars on healthcare every month. Learn more at chministries.org slash budget.