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Thank you. you're listening to after action report at savage.love welcome to this week's installment of after action report where savage love cast listeners who've tried something new report back to me at hq about how it went this week i got to talk with daniel he's a poly guy in the uk who took one of his partners to a clothed male naked female Christmas party over there. I hope you enjoy my conversation with Daniel. Daniel, how are you? Thank you for being here today. Hi, Dan. Thanks. It's great to be on. So Daniel to Daniel, tell me what kind of Daniel you are, what part of the world that Daniel, the Daniel you are, grew up in, and a little bit about yourself, Daniel. Yeah, thanks. Great name, by the way. Yeah, so my name is Daniel. I live in England, mid-40s, poly guy. I'm one of the polyamory success stories. I've got four very wonderful, very patient partners, one of which I'm very proud to be married to as well. So yeah, that's me. Well, congratulations on having four partners. That's a lot. How do you handle the bandwidth issue? People must ask you that question. Yeah, the calendaring thing with Polyamory is really true, actually. There's a lot of that going on. It's like, because I'm a techie as well, so I can see their calendars, they can see mine. So, you know, lots of meeting requests and things like a small office almost. But yeah, it's pretty good. But yeah, the calendaring thing is definitely a thing. Google Cal, it made poly relationships possible for a lot of people, especially people with more than one or two other partners. So you recently had a new experience, something you tried and you wanted to come on After Action Report and tell us about. What was it? Yeah, so me and my partner, one of my partners went to a clothed male nude female event. And it was held at a club over Christmas. First one that we'd ever gone to. I'm not a particularly experienced person when you go into clubs. I get quite a lot of anxiety around what to wear and what's going to happen and things like this. But this was actually quite good because it was very much the guys, here is what you're wearing. It's suits, tuxedos, something smart, something nice for Christmas. And the women, it's basically nothing. So I find that very easy to comply with, and so did my partner. So it's really good. So Closed Male Nude Female also Closed female nude male These are CMFNF and CFFM I can never remember how these acronyms work for clothed male naked male clothed male naked female It's just a confusing one. But it's a thing. Like it's a fetish. It's a kink for some people to be in a group setting where all of one sex is clothed, which is a kind of power. There's status in clothing. and all of the other sex is exposed and naked and vulnerable so it must have had a kind of dsc vibe yeah yeah very much so so i'm i'm um kind of the the the dominance like you know typical uh in in my setup um so yeah so it's more of a i mean a lot of the the clothed one partner um it's like i think it's called one-sided nudity a lot of that is around the ds you know the submissive is normally the um is normally the nude person it's always a nude person but this one was very much set up as you know clothed male dominant uh nude female submissive and with a with a christmas sparkle as well so you know lots of tinsel and lots of baubles and and things like that and then oh my god if you're a long-term listener you know i don't think there's anything sexy about christmas and people shouldn't christmas up their sex i don't want to see tinsel or garlands at my sex party i don't want to go to lab in berlin ever and spot a christmas tree in the corner brilliant yeah yeah and it was really good there was lots of um lots of like bdsm play as well so lots of impact play and lots of rope and um actual rope not tinsel as well so yeah it's really good so how did you find this party i've seen this event on on on fetlife actually a few times uh and it's always quite hotly contended so it's quite difficult to get tickets to uh and it's a bit of a drive for me as well so it's like a four or five hour trip in each directions so it's you know there's transport costs and hotels and things like that so um over christmas my partner and i um shot for a ticket and we uh we got on the list we got accepted and it's like oh fuck what do we do now um but we we got dressed or not as the case maybe um and um turned up and it was really good we had an absolute blast really really good i assume she wore something on the tube on the way over if she went to london and she didn't uh yeah and it's changing rooms as well so yeah so uh was it your idea was clothed male nude female your kink or was it something your partner wanted to explore whose idea was it i quite like i quite like the idea of i've always quite liked the idea of it because it's it's that this the power exchange and you know sort of that that dynamic and i've always always fancied it um my my partner is is getting um it's just basically getting more into more into being uh being submissive being exposed and being incredibly brave as well. And she was on that day. And yes, we both kind of just sort of got together and thought it would be a really good idea. So do your partners have other partners or is this polygamy and you have a harem? Yeah, no, no, no. My partners have other partners. They're all free to date. My wife has got a boyfriend and I think she's off on a date tomorrow evening, actually. And the partner who I took to the event, She's got another partner who mainly sort of ties her up and things like that. And it was actually my wife's idea to open up the relationship. A lot of people are quite surprised by that because they always assume you know it me and I got her sort of doing stuff that she doesn want to but no she came up with this wonderful idea Well it benefited you too from the sounds of it And in a way that sometimes doesn work out for straight married men Hear all the time from straight married men wanted to open the relationship. It was his idea and the wife was reluctant. They opened the relationship. It's a cliche that then they opened the relationship and she is swimming in dick and he can't find a woman who's interested in sleeping with a married man. But you didn't have that problem. No, and it was exactly my fear as well. I was absolutely, absolutely convinced that she would be swimming in dick and I'd be at home crying into my Xbox, but it's absolutely not been the case. So tell us about the party. Give us a couple of anecdotes from the party. Set the scene and share your experience of it. Yeah, cool. So we turned up about an hour late because that's my jam, always late. And I had a tuxedo on and I felt really, really good on it, actually. and my partner was wearing, under her coats on the way there, she was just wearing sort of like diamante pants and tassels around her nipples and then like a sheer cover to go over and very good hair and makeup as well. And when we got there, there was some sort of drinks at the bar and things like that. And then looking around and everyone is just dressed like to the nines. The men have got some very good suits on, lots of tuxedos. Wait, wait, wait. I was going to say, not everyone was dressed to the nines. Yeah, no, okay, yeah, yeah. Some people were undressed to the zeros. Yeah, yeah. And it's one of those environments where you turn up and there's some just really beautiful, like high-quality nudity everywhere. It was just a really, really nice place. Because I've been to some clubs before, but this one has been just spectacular to look around and see what's out there. So, yeah, really, really good. And we got chatting to a couple of strangers, which I don't do very easily, like sort of sitting down and talking to complete strangers. But yeah, I got chatting to some people, made some new friends, sort of agreed to cross paths if we can in the future, discovered about a new couple of kinky events, which they've invited us to, and we're going to go to this year as well. And then my partner asked if she could get put on the spanking chair, on the spanking table. I went out to the car to go and get my boxer paddles and things and returned to find her very neatly presented and totally naked on this spanking table, surrounded by the rest of the party, just waiting for me to turn up and redden her. So that was really, really good. I had an absolutely wonderful time doing that for her. It's interesting that you say that, you know, typically at a party like that, a little socially anxious, difficulty connecting with people, but you go to a kink party and it's almost like, okay, everyone in this room has one really big thing in common. And so unlike when everyone's dressed to the nines at a regular Christmas party, an office Christmas party, a neighborhood Christmas party, and you kind of have to feel people out to find topic A, where then you can engage with them and chat with them and then see whether you click with them. But at a kink party, you're like, we're all perverts. That's why we're here. We have this one thing in common. And it's almost like the icebreaker is built in. It's hardwired into the event and the experience of the event and every individual at the event. Yeah, you don't need to start off by talking about the weather, that's for sure. So sounds like it was a good experience. Yeah really good Quite nerve to begin with and planning the events and walking into the unknown But as I said it one of the few events where you told what where and you told what going to happen There was even an agenda for this one as well. So at this time, we're going to be doing this. An outlay of the facilities as well, things like that. So here are the changing rooms. Here is where there was a hot tub as well, which didn't get to go in, sadly. We'd have to go in your tuxedo, right? or did the guys strip off for the hot tub? I think the men are allowed to take their clothes off for that, but yeah. So you have three other partners. This comes up all the time if you're in a poly relationship, as you are, as I am. Did your other three partners get jealous? Did anybody get jealous that they weren't the one that got the precious golden ticket to go with you to this clothed male naked female party? There were a lot of questions afterwards, actually. And I really think that my wife would do very well there. And I did speak to her afterwards. and I was like, oh, you'd fit in really well here, actually. But there were some expressions that I've not seen before on some faces afterwards when I was telling people how much fun I'd had and how much fun my partner and I had had. So, yeah, for sure. I reckon there was some. Yeah, I could never go to this party. Well, I could if I was in the tuxedo. But if it was a clothed male, naked male party, I could not be the naked male. I would have to be the clothed male, which is fine because my husband and boyfriend would totally be down to be the naked male at a clothed male naked party. So besides GoForward, and you had a great experience, any advice for people out there who might be interested in having this kind of experience? If it's this one, get on the waiting list early. Great advice. Practical. Yeah, yeah. I mean, one of the things that I've, I've been to a few events in the past. I went to like quite a large one in London, which it wasn't clothing men like a female, but it was like an event with like a black tie event. And as a result, I felt quite like the pressure to buy myself a nice suit and things like that. But actually for this event, I went to eBay and I got myself a tuxedo top for about 16 quid. And as a result, there was much less pressure to sort of worry about it and hang it up properly and things like that. So yeah, disposable clothing if you can every time. And it's really easy to get some very good stuff off eBay. And then you don't really care what you're doing then. Yeah, then it doesn't matter if you get silicone lube all over it. Absolutely. You have a disposable tuxedo who gives a fucking shit. So you're going to do it again? You're going to go again? Yes, yes. Got an event booked in about three weeks, actually. Me and my partner are going to go to it. So yeah. Same partner or do you have to spread that ice cream around? Same partner this time, but I'm looking forward to the day and I can take more than one partner with me for sure. I'd be the envy for that one. Daniel, thank you so much for coming on After Action Report. What a great time. It's a pleasure. Thanks for having me. Really enjoyed it. Thanks again, Daniel. I am so glad that everyone had a good time. If you, yes, you out there listening, if you have a story to tell about a new sexual experience, a successful sexual adventure, or a complete and total disaster, we want to hear about it. Write it up and send it to us at Q at savage.love with After Action Report in the subject line. and we will be in touch. Thank you, everybody, for listening, and we will have a new After Action Report for you next Friday. After Action Report.
