1461 - Lisa Looked Down on Swingers and Now she’s Couple Swapping with her Husband

When was the last time you stopped and listened to your body? Here's a Holland and Barrett ad break to do just that. Go on, tune in. Think about your body when you exercise. Are those knees creaking? Are your muscles ever so slightly aching? Or are they trying to say? You've got to show me love. We know what your body's asking for. Instore online on the app. Back your body, Holland and Barrett. Instagram teen accounts with automatic protections on who can contact teenagers and the content they can see. Instagram teen accounts have contact limits on by default. So teenagers get messages from people they know, not strangers and default content settings. Plus teenagers under 16 can't change these default settings without parental approval. So parents can help teenagers connect safely. Learn more at instagram.com slash teen accounts. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The crisis is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much. Real follows. Does your friend know that you're banging or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or acts, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everyone's voices. People change their names. So if you have an interesting naughty secret life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or you don't even need a naughty life story on anymore, I'll talk to people with regular, interesting life stories for my Sunday episodes. You could be on the show. All you got to do is send me an email at Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com or go to my website, Strictly Anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show. I also have a sexual health Saturday series. So if you have a really interesting health story journey that you want to talk about, email me as well. If you have a naughty confession that you want to leave on my Confessions Hotline, you could do that 24 seven, the number is 347-420-3579. Make sure you're in a quiet place. So many people call while they're driving and I can't hear shit and I can't use those confessions. Some of the confessions though, I changed the voices by the way on the confessions and some of those confessions make it onto a Confessions episode where I talk about them. All the rest go on my Patreon. Now listen, if you're irritated by my intros, join my Patreon because for just $7 a month, okay, you get every single episode. I do seven of them a week. You get them early. You also get them intro and ad free, okay? You also see anonymous hot picks of all of my guests that is all over on my Patreon. Like I said, it's only $7 a month and you could cancel at any time. Now listen, if you join my Patreon, I always tell people that I will throw in a link to my private Discord. Now my private Discord is a place where everyone gets to talk to each other. My Discord is super fun. I have over 6,000 people that signed up over there. Everyone talks to each other. People are hooking up over there. We have a lot of contests. We have a dick pic contest coming up. Okay, you can win 350 bucks I think is what I give for the contest. That is starting on May 15th and it will run for a month. So make sure to sign up to Patreon to get into Discord so you could take part in that. You could also get a link to my private Discord. If you buy my book, I have a new book out. It's called Strictly Anonymous. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. That book is available in paperback as well as an ebook. And the audiobook is finally available for pre-order. It's hard to find because it's still on pre-order. But if you go to the description, the links to the books on Amazon as well as the Audible book are in the description. If you buy the book, just send me a screenshot and I'll send you the link to my private Discord. You'll love my Discord. Okay, it's great. I love my Patreon. It's great. Last thing I wanna talk to tell you about is I do have a great free trial that you could use for sdc.com. Sdc.com is like the world's largest online adult dating site. But it's so much more than a dating site. I mean, you can use it to hook up with people instead of threesomes and all the kind of stuff that people do on my show. But you can also use it to find out about meetups and events in your areas as well as learn stuff about the lifestyle. They have so much information on sdc.com. Even if you use my code 37712, you'll get a free trial that's 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link. And it'll take you right there and get and set you up with a free trial. So anyway, today I'm on Lisa. Oh my God, I'm just gonna add up myself out of talking to this whole during this episode because I didn't need to say one fucking word. She was so good at telling a story. So good at bringing up all the things that I personally think are interesting about, getting into non-monogamy. And those things to me are not only just like the little naughty details. I know you all love those. They give you little woodies in your car and all that kind of good stuff. But I really like the shit that's happening inside people, like the thoughts and the feelings about everything. I like to dig deep and she went there. This is a very, this couple are total newbies, which I love because they remember everything in detail. She decided to just come on and talk. Her guy was sitting right next to him. Her, I might have him on another time, but I mean, she was very vanilla. All the feelings she had about non-monogamy that she talks about, how she felt about it beforehand were very, I feel like very common feelings that most vanilla people feel like. And the fact that somebody like her who had all these feelings and you'll hear about them and thoughts about the lifestyle in non-monogamy is now being non-monogamous. So people are super interesting. She talks about that whole transition. She talks about how judgy she was and how she felt about it and then how slowly over time she shifted what she did to for that shift to happen and then how they eventually started to do naughty things in real life. They've only done a soft swap, but she goes into that whole situation with a lot of details, not just the naughty details, but also like what she was feeling, what her husband was feeling, like all that kind of good stuff that I think is like super interesting to hear from a newbie couple, because even she said it as someone that was listening to my podcast, another podcast before, trying to learn about the lifestyle. She said, sometimes like people, and this is true, like sometimes people who have been doing this for a really long time, sort of, it just seems like, oh, they just decide to cross the line one day and everything is like great. And they forget about all the feelings and stuff that happened really early on in the beginning, but newbies don't, because it's still fresh in their mind. And that's why I love a newbie story. You're gonna love it too. It's very relatable. They're super hot. Okay, they sent me pictures already before the call, so I already had seen them. They're super hot. You can see those pics, those hot pics of them on my Patreon. But anyway, I'm gonna get right to you and be right back on with Lisa. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Hey, what do we call you, Lisa? Lisa. Yes. Oh my God, all the fake names. We got Lisa, and we got Rex in the background. That's your husband. We decided he's gonna stay in the background. We might bring him on at the end of the episode. We don't know, but you're gonna kind of take over and tell us your story. You're like what, you guys are a newbie couple. I love newbie couples to come on the show. And because I think that a lot of people are like either right behind you or even farther back from you. You know, and it's always, I think good to hear those really early steps and feelings and stuff that goes down. Because a lot of times when I'm talking to professionals who've been doing it for so long, they forget the little stuff, right? And they make it seem like, oh, they just got into it and it was so easy, right? But maybe they forget all the stuff that was happening in the beginning. You're right there. You just had your first couple. You just had your first experience with another couple. Is that what happens? Yes, we just had our first experience a month ago. Okay, cool. So we're gonna work our way up to that. Let's get a snapshot of where you guys are at. How long have you guys been married and together for? Okay, so we are high school sweethearts. We've been together for 37 years. Oh my God, you sound so young. And married for 27. We're early 50s. Wow, okay. And you don't look like you're in your early 50s. I saw pictures already. You sent me pictures. I know, you look killer, but nowadays you can look good in your 50s, right? News flash, right? You can keep it together. Yeah, we try. Yeah, you can keep it together. I do too. So, all right, so you guys have been together. High school sweethearts. So you have a very solid foundation. What was your sex life like through all these years, including up until like right before you decided to even start talking about getting into the lifestyle? So, sex life was always good and nothing bad. I think probably typical for married people, it ebbs and flowed over time with kids, you know, probably, I guess you could say it got a little stale with kids at home. Of course. It was always good, always enjoyable, but there were times we both say that it was more obligatory, like, you know, do it once a week to check a box kind of thing. But in the past, I'd say five or six years or so, things really started getting better. Kids are older, had more time. And I think one big thing that contributes to that is, I got on hormones for a long time, but I got on pellets. Oh my God, the pellets. Five years ago. Yeah, the pellets. Oh my God. Yeah, the testosterone does wonders. And so that kind of changed things. I ran out, I'm just gonna tell you, I have a very famous first episode about pellets, which was like Linda, like, in her 60s at her first gangbang. And literally, it was like this woman who was completely vanilla, got pellets and then started having gangbangs with her husband in her 60s. I ran out and got pellets right after that. Well, I heard similar stuff, which is why I ended up on them. Yeah, I was like, oh my God, you get like horny like a guy on them. I mean, you really do, right? Yeah, it's true. So I think that starting that kind of contributed to some of that, but the past five or six years or so, it's just been like really good, like really, really good. But can we get a little bit of your backstory? Because you have like a very religious background and everything, right? And I mean, because you are sort of the one that was the catalyst of starting to talk about things, correct? Yes. Okay, so why don't you give a little history of like you and your sexuality and your background and then how and why you were the one that sort of brought it up? Well, we were raised in a Christian home and Christian homes and we didn't really talk about sex that much with our parents. My sex talk at home was don't do it till you're married. But we never thought that sex was wrong or taboo or secret or anything like that. We just didn't know that we were supposed to enjoy it the way that we enjoy it like now. We thought before it was just kind of a, or I did anyway kind of a something that you do until he comes and I may or may not, didn't even really, I just didn't know that it could be enjoyed the way that it can be. And it was never, but I also grew up and until very, very recently, it was very, very monotonous. Like felt very strongly that when you got married, it's that's it. Like it's between the two of you. Sex is within a marriage. It doesn't involve anybody else. And the thought, I didn't even really know about the lifestyle. I didn't even really know about swingers until a couple of years ago. And it's kind of funny how it came about. I was actually Googling one day about erotic massage. Oh, interesting. Because that was like a fantasy of yours? Well, kind of we had become, we were starting to become more sexually adventurous. And I had heard about like lingam massages and exotic massages or erotic massages. So I Googled that one day. It was like how to do this. And I came across this, this couple that has camera for the YouTube channel or what it was, but they, they were swingers and they talked a lot about that. And I was like, what is this? And I just had, it was one of those situations where I was intrigued, but appalled at the same time. It was like, it's like driving past that car accident that you can't, you don't wanna look at, but you can't help but look. Yeah, that's a good analysis. Yeah, I was like, what is this? And I was just, I was, honestly, I was mortified that people could do this. Right. And, and I wasn't, I wouldn't say that I was, now my husband will tell you that I was like critical and judgmental of it. And I guess I probably was, but it was more just, I couldn't, it was more interested like how do people do this? Like how can you possibly be okay with your spouse having sex with somebody else? And I actually felt sorry for them. I felt sorry for people that did this because I remember thinking it must really be horrible to think that you're just not enough for your partner that in order for them to be satisfied, they have to go be with other people. And I just tell you, I love all these things you're rattling off because I believe that the majority of people out there think all these things too. It's not like you're so conservative you thought these things. I think that this is like what a lot of vanilla people in the regular world think for sure, 100%. Oh yeah, no, I agree. I didn't feel weird for thinking that. Of course not. I remember thinking, I'm not the weird, I remember these people are weird. Yeah. But so I started, so I started talking to my husband about it. And I was like, can you believe people do this? He had the same feelings I did, but he's a little bit more open minded than I am. And he's a little bit more logical than I am. But he kind of played devil's advocate to me. He was like, but people can do this because people do separate sex and love. And I'm like, I know that they can, but I don't get it. So in our discussions about it, I kind of misinterpreted his defense of it or his open mindedness to it as a, that he's interested in it. And when I started feeling like he was interested in it, it started kind of freaking me out. I can imagine, especially if you have those feelings. And especially if you have those feelings. Yeah, I'm like, what have I done? What have I started talking about? And now he's interested in this. And I'm like, hell no. Yeah. So we kind of, I wouldn't call it argued about it, but we kind of disagreed about it. But we ended up, both of us ended up starting listening to podcasts and yours was one of them. He actually started listening to yours first and he introduced me to it. And I listened to some other podcasts and then I started getting on Reddit groups and I joined some Facebook groups. And like I said, at this point, it was more just complete intrigue and not really interested. I was kind of a researcher. So I was like, I just wonder how people really do this. And so it went on like that where I was in Facebook groups and he was listening to podcasts and we would talk about it. And at one point I got very frustrated in it because I, it was looking back on it. I realized my frustration came from, I wouldn't admit it to myself, but I was very interested in it, but scared. And I didn't want to admit that I was interested in it. So I got frustrated by it. So I remember at one point I said, this is ridiculous. We're not talking about this anymore. We're never gonna do this. I don't wanna hear about it anymore. So I quit getting in the groups. I quit going into anything. I quit listening to podcasts. He and I quit talking about it. And we went for a long time, months, several months, maybe six months or so, where we just really didn't talk about it. And for some reason it kind of started creeping back in, in my head. And I started talking about it again. And this was about maybe a year and a half ago or so ago or so. And I started getting in the groups again. And I started engaging in, like I would comment on stuff in these groups and people would comment back. And we just started talking about it more. What kind of comments would you make? I would question the people. I would be like, how can you- Oh, okay. So you were looking for information from them? Oh yeah, yeah. It was definitely information seeking. Yeah. Definitely. And I would ask them like, so how does this make you feel afterwards? Like how do you feel about your, how does it change? Does it change your relationship? Does it change sex with the two of you anymore? And I was coming from it, from a perspective where at this point, like neither one of us had ever been with anybody else, anybody else sexually. We'd never been naked in front of anybody else. We'd never- Like most people. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, so how do you go out and have sex with somebody else? And then come home and have sex with your partner and it not change things. And I got very, and still I am to some degree, very wrapped up in like the comparison fear. Okay guys, have you ever had a night where you just like couldn't get it up or you weren't like totally in the mood but your partner was? Well, I could imagine that that happens all the time but there's no reason to worry anymore about that happening again, because there's Bluetooth gold. Bluetooth gold doesn't just help you with the physical part of showing up. It also helps you with the mental part. Now listen, most blue pills only focus on blood flow but Bluetooth gold goes further. It combines two proven ingredients for circulation plus apomorphine and oxytocin to enhance arousal desire and connection. So it's not just about functioning anymore. It's about total performance, both physically and mentally. And the good news is Bluetooth gold dissolves right under your tongue and starts working in as little as 15 minutes. So that means less waiting, more confidence and a whole new level of readiness. So go get yourself some Bluetooth gold and the good news is Bluetooth gold is super easy to get. Everything you need is online, even the prescription. And I've got a special deal for my listeners right now when you buy two months of Bluetooth gold, you get the third free with promo code strictly anon. That's promo code strictly anon visit blutue.com for more details and important safety information. And I thank Blutue for sponsoring the podcast. Do you guys know that May is International Mastercation Month? Now listen, no one ever taught anyone how to jerk off properly. So why not take this month to learn something new and have more fun during your solo play. And you know where you're gonna do that? It's on Begicated. Begicated is like the Netflix of sex education. They have over 150 courses to choose from all on sex, including so many courses you could take alone from a hand job mastery to squirting courses, male multiple orgasm courses, guided master patient courses and so much more. What I love personally about Begicated is the fact that most of their courses include video tutorials showing real people doing exactly what you need to do. So you could totally follow along. You're not just reading about it, you learn by seeing it. And that's what I love about Begicated. And that's what you're gonna love too. So what are you waiting for? Go check out Begicated and kick off your journey by taking the Begicated quiz. All you gotta do is go to the description, click on the link and you're gonna get your own personalized roadmap to sexual happiness. Again, just go to the description, click on the link to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness. On the Isle of Wight, things are a bit different. Our scenery is that little bit more well scenic. Our sun shines just a bit longer and our stars sparkle a little brighter. And where else would you find red squirrels, blue wine and green ketchup? Hmm, sail there with red funnel from under 30 pounds per person for four nights with your car and discover something wonderfully different. Book now at redfunnel.co.uk. Teas and seas apply. The world moves fast. You work day, even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Co-Pilot is your AI assistant for work built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint and other Microsoft 365 apps you use, helping you quickly write, analyze, create and summarize. So you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn more at microsoft.com slash m365 Co-Pilot. And let me ask you a quick question with those questions. Do you know if you were coming from a place of judgment when you were asking those questions or curiosity or was it like a mix of both? It was at that point, I don't think there was much judgment anymore. I think it was more curiosity. Okay, that's interesting. So that's a change for you. Yeah, it definitely shifted. It definitely shifted from judgment to more curiosity. I was just seeking, I was trying to understand how one has sex with somebody else and then comes home to their partner and you not compare things and you not be less excited about your person. Because I was thinking, sex between the two of us is all that we know right now. So it's good, it's all, we have nothing to compare to. So my thought was if we go out and we have sex with other people, do we realize, hey, we're not that great? It's so interesting that you're so looking at just that but I believe you're just so putting into words with so many other people thing, which is why I love talking to newbies. Well, that's why I listened to your show enough to know I'm like, this is what people listening to the show need to hear. It's like what people really think about before they start this. Cause sometimes I think people get this conception that people just jump right in and they're comfortable from the get go. My guess is in my experience, that's not the way it is. But another thing I should add, and I know he would add right now in this part of the discussion, a big motivation with all this was just straight up curiosity. We're like, what would sex with somebody else feel like? What would it be like to have sex? Do we really wanna live our entire lives only knowing what it's like to be with one person and not have anything out there? I mean, so curiosity is a huge driver in all of this all this time. Yeah, that's interesting that that took over for you especially. Yeah, so it was about this time last year that I started growing. And let me quick question about racks. I'm assuming, cause it sounds like this is the case and this should be the case and this is the way it should be. And this is how you become successful in life cells. Like it doesn't sound like he's pushing you to try to change your mind or trying to push you into it because he sees like you kind of like being curious about it. Like he wasn't that guy, right? I'm assuming he was like respectful, like respecting your sort of where you were at in this. Like he wasn't so like, oh my God, she's kind of into it. I gotta make her do it right away. No, he was not pushy about it at all. He was quite the opposite. Right, which is how a guy should be. Yes, he was interested, but he number one, he knew better than to push cause he knows me. But one thing I should add, I have always, and this is the craziest part of the whole thing, I have always been extremely jealous type person. Like very insecure, very jealous. Did not want him, it drove me crazy. Still does a little bit for him to like look at like hot women or comment about hot women. And he's not a guy that does that. So he's not one of these guys that's always ogling at other women. Right. But I've always been extremely jealous type. So the fact that I would even talk about this, he was like, this is never happening. He's like, she's just, this is just something she's talking about this whole time. He's thinking, she's never gonna do this. Oh, okay. So he didn't even know there was a little, a slight window of opportunity. I see one here, but he didn't. He thought, this is all her talking, she's never going, this is never going. Yeah, yeah, interesting. But I started talking to this woman on, from a Facebook group, it was last spring, and who commented on one of my comments. And so she and I kind of started a little side message going on. Same situation, high school sweethearts, never been with anybody else. And eight years prior to that, they started in the lifestyle. And so she identified with my story, and she's like, hey, I just wanna tell you, I'm coming from, came from a place where you're in right now. And I can tell you that it is possible. And I totally understand your fears and your insecurities, but it is possible, and it can bring a lot of benefit to your marriage. So she and I started talking about that. And so it was nice to actually talk to somebody who could relate to my story. So she and I ended up becoming kind of friends. They live across the country from us. So it wasn't like we were gonna be meeting up with them or anything, but she got her husband involved in our little group chat, and I ended up getting my husband involved. So the four of us, because my husband was kind of interested too, he just kind of wanted to talk to a couple like us and say, you know, tell me how y'all did this and tell me how it affects your marriage now. So we ended up, you know, for like a couple of months, just talking back and forth, and we ended up FaceTiming with them some, and we were just friends just talking, but it eventually got a little flirty. And we started, we can't believe that we did this. This is really totally out of character for us, but one night it was getting kind of flirty and sexy talk, and we ended up having sex on video with them. Like I can't remember what platform we used, but we had the camera going and they had the camera going. Oh, we FaceTimed. Oh, okay, there you go. And it was definitely interesting, very out of character, but it was- And like you're saying, that was not planned, right? It just kind of happened in the spur of the moment that you like crossed that line and did that? Yes, it was kind of, yes, definitely. I mean, it was planned out and that we had said before, hey, this would be hot. And then they were kind of messing around, and I was on the phone with them, I was texting with them, and they were kind of messing around, and they're like, hey, why don't you get your husband in the room and whatever. And so I caught him in there. But so that was, that kind of opened things up. Let me ask you a question. Was it hot to watch them? Was it hot to know that they were watching you? Like, what, like did that experience turn you on? Were you uncomfortable? Were you into it? Oh, it was, I don't think there was any uncomfortableness on my part. It was hot to watch them for sure. And yeah, it was hot to know they were watching us. My husband's a little bit more modest or shy than I am. And he's over here making faces right now, like, yeah, I am. So it was a little harder for him, but I didn't find it uncomfortable. About the same time, we ended up putting a mirror up in our bedroom next door. Oh, I love mirrors in the bedroom. It's so fun. Oh yeah, yeah, we do too. And that really started things. I think we've agreed, I think that was pretty pivotal in this because Interesting. It allowed us to, because we both kind of fantasized about it, and we'd started talking about it to each other, like not keeping it like a secret fantasy. We talked about it during sex. And we said, you know, this is hot because we can picture the other person, you know, we could picture each other doing these things with somebody else. It was like you were sitting, you know, in the bed next to him watching it. And so we found that hot. We're like, you know, yeah, it looks really freaking hot to watch you doing that. I could probably see you doing that. So that kind of spurred things along. And at this very, when all this is going on, all about the same time, he and I went on a cruise. And the night before the cruise, as a matter of fact, that other couple even talked about coming out, going on the cruise with us, but they couldn't work it out. But the night before the cruise, we ended up in a town with a pretty well-known lifestyle club. So we were like, we have to go if we're there, like we have to go. So we were terrified, terrified to go. But we made ourselves go. And let me tell you, we walked into that place like deer in headlights. And within five minutes of walking in, we're next to a pool and a hot tub. And there's people giving blowjobs right in front of our faces. And we were like, you've got to be kidding me. We were like, this is so beyond anything we're comfortable with. And, but it's like, within a few minutes, we were completely desensitized to it. And we're like, this is hot. So we were there for several hours, but we didn't go into the playroom there because you had to get completely naked to go in. Oh, interesting. And we were just, we were not ready for that. We're like, we were just not ready to get naked, but we, they had a dungeon there. So we did go down into the dungeon. And there was people having sex on beds and on the, on the flogging tables and tied up to the crosses. And we were just kind of, people were just kind of standing around watching. So we did. And we were like, yeah, this is really hot. So we, we left the dungeon and we went out by the pool area. And there was people having sex in the pool and having, doing blowjobs on the chairs. And we were just kind of sitting there making out a little bit. And I, you know what? I thought, I'm only at this place one time. I don't know when I'm coming back. I'm turned on. What the hell? And I told him, I said, get, get your pants down, get your pants off. And I ended up giving him a blowjob right there by the pool. And it was hot for both of us. We were both like, this is, this is, this is hot. Going into that situation, were, did you talk about like, oh, let's not do anything. Or like, let's just see what we feel like doing. Like, was there any kind of rules or regulations going in? And then that just happened. Or were you kind of like open to that happening? We had, we had talked before and we had said we were not touching anyone else. Okay, cool. We were like, under no circumstances are we talking, are we touching anyone else? We're like, I don't see us like having sex in this club. I don't see us doing anything, but we didn't really have a rule about that. The only rule we really had was we're not touching anybody else. Right, right, right. Okay, cool. And you liked being doing that in public, it turns out. Yeah, it was, yeah, yeah, it was definitely a turn on. But we went back to the, to our hotel room and had, like we could barely get back to the hotel room. Like, it was the hottest best sex ever. And so part of us, we said, if it's this, if it's that hot after just going to a club and doing that, like, could you imagine what it would be like after playing with somebody else? Cause we always hear about this reconnection sex and reclaiming sex. And we're like, if this is any indication of what this is like, like we've, like this is good. Can I just ask a quick question? Cause I just heard a really, I just read a really rude thing on Twitter and I responded back to them. I think they had deleted my comment cause I was right. And they were wrong with, they were like making jokes about like, oh, imagine the people that show up to those kinds of play. You know, they were like vanilla people making assumptions about the lifestyle and talking about swing or clubs and how, oh, I'm probably filled with all the disgusting people that look like, you know, like they tend to, that's what people tend to think. Like what were the demographics of the people that you saw there? It was a huge variety. It, there was, I never thought, these people are disgusting. Right. It was, it looked just like what I've always heard it. There's like a random sample of people. There was. There's hot people different. There's something for everybody. All kinds of people. Yes. Right. There was all older people, younger people, hot people, not so hot people. Yeah. It, it was a bunch of everything. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Listen up. As somebody who has already hit menopause and who's on HRT and someone who's into health and fitness, I love data, especially health data. And that's why I love my partner rhythm. Rhythm is the world's easiest and most painless at home blood test. That's going to help you learn what's going on inside your body. But it's not just about rhythm. Is it is painless? I swear to you, I was nervous at first because of course people say it's painless and you're like, yeah, right, but like, I promise you, you feel nothing. You put this thing on your arm and you press a button, you don't feel anything. And then all the blood comes out. It's super easy. You do it at home, it takes like two minutes. And then the process to get your results is super fast and easy. You literally set up a FedEx pickup, or you can even call an Uber to have them pick it up and you get your results in just a few days. It's that quick. It's super easy. It's only $79 a month. Okay. That's a fraction of traditional lab testing and you could cancel at any time. Now, when I got back my results, my B12 was like off the charts and I was like, oh my God, maybe that's from my vitamin B supplements. I don't know, but what's exciting is I get to take the test again next month and I stopped taking my supplements and I'm going to be able to track if it's really high or it was just my supplements. And that's what I love about getting the monthly data. And that's what I love about Rhythm. And the good news is right now Rhythm is offering my listeners 15% off your first month and free shipping at rhythm.health slash strictly a non. That's R-Y-T-H-M dot health slash strictly a non for 15% off your first month and free shipping. Stop guessing and start testing Rhythm.health slash strictly a non or just go to the description and click on the link. Okay guys, I have the best product to tell you about that effing works for your Giz. Okay. And it's called load boost. Load boost is not only going to give you bigger loads, okay? They're going to be better tasting too. Okay. Load boost is not some sketchy supplement. It is made by VB health and it is doctor formulated. It's also a great vitamin for prostate and sperm health. I get so many DMs in my Instagram and people on my discord talking about the fact that they use load boost and immediately saw amazing results. Okay. Not only did they get bigger loads, they also tasted better approved by their wives. Their wives told them, okay, I have those DMs. And the other thing they actually told me is that it works super fast. Some people actually see results in just days of taking load boost with most people seeing full results in just two to three weeks of daily use. There's a reason why it's a faith supplement of my listeners as well as porn stars. And that's because it effing works. So what are you waiting for? Go get yourself some load boost by VB health. And while you're there, check out their other new product, energy boost, which is a pre-workout powder drink with effective ingredients for blood flow, energy and focus. Try the blue raspberry flavor. That one is my favorite. All you got to do is go to loadboost.com and use my code strictly and you're going to get 10% off. That's loadboost.com. Use my code strictly for 10% off. Or I made it super easy for you. Just go to the description, click on the link and use my code strictly. Head to the coast in Abercrombie's latest summer drop. It's dress season. From Minis to Maxis, there's a dress for every summer plan. And Abercrombie's new linen blend matching sets are so light and breathable. Perfect for brunch or rooftop happy hours. Dress like you're on holiday. Shop Abercrombie in the app, online and in stores. That's all I wanted to say to the people, the vanilla people listening to this that might be dipping. It's not like, you know, I think though, unfortunately that some people, they want to believe that, like, oh, it just filled with all these unattractive people that can't fuck, you know, so they wind up at this place, which is not the case. I see your guys' pictures. You guys are like fucking 10s, okay? It's ridiculous that people think that. So anyway, you could go on with your story. Well, thank you for that. We, oh goodness. So we went on our cruise and we came back from the cruise and I can't really explain what happened at this point, but I for some reason just kind of got all in my head about my insecurities about everything. And it went from, you know, gung-ho, let's think about this too. There's no way we can do this. Interesting. I'm like, I did. I had a complete, like, very turned off by the whole thing. Don't really know what started it. And I ended up telling us. But this is right after the cruise is what you're saying. A couple of weeks after. Okay. I ended up telling our friends from out of town. I was like, you know, we like you guys. We can be friends. I'm not saying anything like that, but this lifestyle thing is not for us. Like it is just not for me. I was just kind of just convicted that like, we can't do this. And I'll tell you, that was last June. We, I turned it, like, we didn't talk about it anymore. Like we did not talk about starting lifestyle stuff. We just kind of shut it down. The only thing we did during that time was enjoy watching ourselves in the mirror. And kind of only during sex, would we kind of fantasize about doing things with other people. And it turned into more of a desire to be able to, we wanted to be able to do things during sex that take more than two people to do. Like we would talk about like, I had this strong desire. I wanted to give him a double blow job. I wanted to be spit roasted. Like those things, I just, I needed like another body there. I just wanted to have these sensations that you can't do with just the two of us. So that kind of kept it a little bit of alive between us. And for whatever reason, around December of this past year, it started kind of bubbling up again. And we just started talking about it. It's like, look, the only way to make these things happen is to do this. Like if we want to do this, this is how we're going to have to do this. So we got on some lifestyle apps. Like we made profiles. And we just said, you know what, let's just do this. Let's just do, make profiles. Let's just see what happens. Let's just see if we get hit on or reached out to. And if, let's just see if there's people, maybe if we don't do anything but just meet somebody, what was the harm in just meeting people? Exactly. So we did. And we got slammed with interest on both apps. Like we can even keep up with the notifications. What apps were you on? Do you remember? What apps are we on? We're on Cassidy and SDC. Okay, good. Oh, my code for SDC. Anyone could get a free trial on SDC. Use my code 37712. They're the ones I partnered up with. Cause most of my listeners use it. But there's so many of them out there, but I always tell people if they want to use the code 37712, they get in for free. Or you could for three, for like a trial, but you could also go to the description, click on the link. So you guys get slammed because, and what are you on there looking for? Other couples? Well, I put in my description. Yes, I put in my description. Hey, we're new to this. We're dipping our toes in a little bit about us. And I'm like, we're looking for people, couples who, and I said specifically, we're really interested in couples who either are coming from our background, you know, who know what it's like to only have ever been with each other and or couples who are cool with kind of taking newbies under their wing and like kind of being okay with going slow with us. Okay. And, and that's kind of what I put in there. And we started getting all these hits on everything. And we ended up meeting, I guess just connecting with or talking with a couple who is from out of town. They live pretty far away from us, but they have a second home near us. And they come down pretty frequently. And they were like attractive, their profile and their pictures. And they also come from the same background. They've been married for their, right at our age. They've been married since their early 20s and similar, you know, same background. They were a camera of their high school, sweetheart's or not, but they've been together since college. And they asked us if they would, if we'd like to go out with them next time they came down. And we said, what the heck? Yes. So we met them one day for lunch and we were scared to death. Like we were nervous, but we knew that, you know, nothing was going to happen on this date. It was just a meet and greet. So we met them and they actually asked us to go back to their house after lunch and just kind of hang out at their house. And we did, which was really nice. It was that was, that was a wonderful thing to do because being able to talk to them outside of the restaurant setting and in their house where it was just casual and fun was nice because I felt like we, we spent a couple of hours with them. And I felt like we got a lot of information from them about the lifestyle, but kind of got comfortable with them. And the biggest thing that I got from that date was, I'm sitting there looking at these two people who seemed 100% happy in their marriage. They, they looked very into each other. And they'd only been doing this for about a year themselves. So they were newer to this. And they were talking about how it had not impacted them negatively at all that, that they still are very much attracted to each other, that sex with other people didn't take away from sex with them. If in fact they said it made it hotter, like all the things that I'd been hearing in these groups on these podcasts, that just sit there and actually look at these people in our faces telling us this. And we were seeing it firsthand. It was like comforting. It gave me like, okay, we can do this. Like this, this can be done without screwing it things up. Yeah. And so we left that, we left that date that afternoon, kind of not knowing what they thought about us. And, you know, just, we just weren't sure. And, but we drove home thinking they're attractive. There's, there's some chemistry there. Like I could see something happening. And the next day they messaged us and said, Hey, we really like you guys. We'd love to get together again with you guys. And, you know, we're down to play if you guys are down to play, but we're cool with just hanging out again, if that's what you want to do. And so we said, yes, let's, let's do it. So they, we said, yeah, let us know next time you're in town. So a week later, they messaged us and said, Hey, we're coming back. And at that point it was going to be like three weeks down the road. And they said, do you want to, do you want to go out with us? So we set the date for the second date then. And they said, we'll just go out. And they said, you guys can come back to our place after we go to eat and we can just have some hot tug time. And they said, you can stay over at our house. If you, if you want to, if it turns out to be late night, cause we had a little bit of a drive to get to where they were. So we said, yeah, we'll see how that goes. We'll think about that. So in those three weeks, we actually, in those three weeks, we actually had a date with another couple. Again, we, according to their profiles, they didn't, it didn't sound like we were going to have a lot in common with them, but we met them because they sounded interesting and they were, they were closer to us. So we ended up going out with them. And we just wanted the practice of going out on dates and meeting people. So we went out with them and ended up liking them a lot better than we thought that we were going to. They've been in the lifestyle for like over 10 years. Interestingly enough, they only ever soft swap. So I love couples like that. Cause it gives other couples a sort of view that like you, or it's like, it shows that you can do anything in the lifestyle. You don't have to go totally so extreme or anything. You can just, they've been just only soft shopping for 10 years. Right. And that, that interested me because I was like, it gave me some hope because it was like, okay, I don't have to dive into this head first. We can take our time until we're completely ready for this. Because part of my thing and my hesitation has been, it still is, do, am I really ready to give up my monogamy? Am I really ready to give up sex with, with just the two of us? Like, am I really ready to, to take that step? So meeting with them and figuring out how, you know, people can do it anyway you want to do it was nice. So, so we liked them. And so anyway, that our date with the first people are, is rolling around. And in those three weeks between when we set it up and when the date happened, it was a roller coaster of emotions. At first we were like, Oh, what have we done? Then we got excited about it. And then the week of the date, I freaked out. I, what was going through your hat? Oh, completely everything. All the old stuff came back up. Now we had, we had agreed amongst the two of us that if we went out on this date with them, or if we were going to go on this date, if we start, if we felt any kind of chemistry, if we felt like doing anything, we were only going to self-swap with them. And we full swap was off the table. So even knowing that I freaked out and was like, my thing was, my freak out was this. Can I watch him doing things with her and not get upset? Right. And how would you know? And like you said, Oh, all my old stuff come up. Maybe it wasn't old. It was like this, it was the thing that you always had. And of course it's going to come up right before you actually really do it. Because how would it go away unless you actually experience it and then know how you feel? Do you know what I mean? It's kind of like, you don't know. You don't know. Well, yeah, you don't know until you do it. Exactly. You do not know. So, but my thing and as crazy as this sounds, but I hear it from other people and it sounds crazy, but I was more worried about watching him kiss her and making out with her than I was watching everybody. That's why everyone has the no, no kissing role. Yeah. Well, I wanted to have a no kissing role because I was like, I don't think I can stand the thought of him just having his hands all over her and just then like passionately kissing. I was terrified of that, but he felt like he nobody agreed with me about the no kissing role because he felt like he was going to need that. Like to get like to get aroused and to like get things going. And I haven't talked to her on the, she and I talked on the phone and I told her, I said, look, this is what I'm worried about. And she said, well, if you don't want to kiss, we won't do it. She says, I'll respect that. But she goes, but to be honest, it's just going to be really weird to go from sitting there to blowing him. And as I heard that, I'm like, you know, it's, she's right. And I'm like, if I'm going to do this, I need to just do this. So I agreed. I said, okay, okay, let's don't have a no kissing role. But the thing that my husband and I agreed on, and this was actually kind of his idea, he said in the, in that moment, if things get going, he said, I think it's the best thing for you to talk about me for me and the other guy to kind of get started first. He's like, if you can start kind of kissing him and kind of start with him first, then I think it'll be easier for you to look over and see me kissing her. That makes sense. I could see why they would say that. Yeah. Because I'm the type that when my sex brain gets turned on, I kind of just go for it. Yeah. So I thought that would be kind of a good idea. And I expressed that to the other woman. I'm like, look, I'm a little bit nervous about seeing you guys kissing and all this kind of stuff. I'm a little bit nervous. I'm gonna freak out in the moment. So we think it's best that like, let me and your husband kind of get started first. Tell him to kind of take the lead. And then I think I'll be fine. So that was one kind of, I hate to say rule, but that was kind of one rule that we had that I kind of go first. Number two, I wanted to be where I felt like it was important that we kind of go slow in that moment and then we kind of check in with each other. Like, don't just dive in kind of the like, are you cool with this? Are you okay with what you're seeing? Like, are we good with this? As we're going through, I wanted to be where I could see him and he could see me. And we could, number one, I wanted that so that we could be sure we're okay. But number two, I thought it'd be kind of hot. I kind of wanted to be watching him, like letting us look at each other while he's getting blown and, you know, this kind of stuff. So we get there that night. We finally get there that night. That week was honestly, that week was hell. I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. He thought I was going to back out the night before the date. He and I had this really nice talk where I just went through all my fears and he just reassured me. He was very, he said everything right. And he just talked from the bottom of his heart about how, you know, my motivation in this is not just to go have sex with other people. My motivation is like, you know, it's the curiosity thing, but it's also to do things together. Like we decided, you know, we've been together for 37 years. I'm like, all of these firsts that we've had, all these things that we've done and experienced together. It's like, this is just another one of those things we're doing together. It's just so this crazy thing we're doing together. And, and so that helped me and that got me through it. And I was freaking out in the car right over there. And we just kind of played our, some of our cool songs and we held hands in the car and we were singing our songs and, and we got over there. And once we got into the restaurant with them, I calmed down and I felt better because the attraction was still there and, and just being around them made it easier. So we ended up back at their house. We ended up in the hot tub and tops came off pretty quickly and things started moving pretty quickly in the hot tub quicker than we thought it was going to. Looking back on it, there's things we wish we had done differently. I, we wish we'd kind of taken our time a little bit more and like had him and I like kind of making out with each other a little bit more to get more aroused. He had some, I think like every man going into this situation. He had some concern about like erection issues. And I wish that we had taken a little bit more time. Like I said, for me to like get him turned on before, before we switched, but pretty quickly after tops came off and we started kissing each other, the other guy kind of came up behind me and, and started putting his hands on me and kind of pulled me toward him and kind of pulled me toward the other side of the hot tub. And before I knew it, he and I were kissing and making out. And I tell you, it was, it was really bizarre because I hadn't done that in a very, very long time. And I knew immediately the thing that I was worried about with the kissing. I didn't need to be worried about it because I had been concerned that there was this feeling behind kissing, that it was this emotional, intimate, like connection. But when I was kissing that guy, yeah, I mean, it felt good to be kissing him, but there was nothing behind it. Exactly. That's what I always kind of explain. We all think of kissing as romantic because when we're kissing someone that we feel romantic with or intimate with, that's what it is. But when you kiss someone that you don't feel the way that's on there, it's not the kissing that makes it intimate. It's the feelings. And if you don't have them, they don't show up just because you're kissing someone. You know what I mean? Correct. And so I knew in that moment that it was going to be the same for him. So when I looked over and saw them kissing, it didn't bother me. Yeah, it just didn't bother me. And it was so weird, so like surreal that I'm in this experience where I'm doing these things and the only, the only way I can explain it, well, I ended up over, we ended up kind of going over there next to them in the hot tub. And so we were kind of sitting next to each other. And I ended up on the ledge of the hot tub and the guys going down on me. And I'm looking over at her to them making out. And then he ended up sitting on the ledge of the hot tub and she's blowing him. And we're kind of looking at each other. And I was thinking that I'm going, this should bother me, but it doesn't. Really, it just, it kind of felt like I was on it, had been given a drug where I felt numb, I could see it, but I, but I, I could see it, but it didn't bother me. And so, you know, there was definitely a hotness to it. The, so I ended up going, I, well, I ended up, he, he was going down on me. I ended, the other guy ended up sitting on the edge of the hot tub. I ended up blowing him. She was blowing my husband. I kind of went over there to where they were because I wanted to join her in blowing him. I wanted to give him a double blow job because that was a big list of things to do. And it was, we were doing, it was working. It was a little awkward in the hot tub in that position. And it was, it was kind of cool that night. So he was sitting out there and I knew he was cold, like I could tell. And, but he was in that moment, he was actually starting to get, he was starting to get hard and he was starting to, you know, it was working. He was, you know, he was getting hard. Cause up until that point, he really wasn't getting hard and, and, but it was just kind of awkward positioning. So at that moment, the other guy said, why don't we move this into the house? And we all kind of thought that'd be a good idea because it was getting uncomfortable in the hot tub. So we got out and, and she said, Hey, I'm going to jump in the shower really quick and wash the hot tub water off me. And so we, we went into our room and jumped in the shower and it gave us a quick, it was five minutes of just rinsing the water off, but it was perfect because it gave us a chance to be alone for a minute. And we looked at each other and we're like, this is totally cool. Right. Like you're cool. Right. And he said, yeah, I'm totally fine. I said, I am completely fine. I'm like, this is not bothering me at all. Like I'm good because this means nothing. Right. Kissing her means nothing. Right. So we had that little moment to connect and like check in and we're like, we're good to go. Right. We looked at each other, still soft swaps, still nothing more, still soft swap, but, but we're good. So we went up to their room and I mean, this was only, you know, less than 10 minutes of showering off and drying off and walking up to their room. We got up there and we didn't know what to expect. What I had hoped would happen would be that we kind of played with each other a little bit to get things going again. But when we walked in the room, she was like laying on the bed and she, she told my husband, she said, okay, it's your turn. I want you to go down on me. And so I was laying there and so the guy came up and he started going down on me and he's going down on her. We're side by side and I'm watching, I'm watching him do this and it didn't bother me in that moment. But that the only thing I can say that was negative about this is the other guys oral technique was very, very different than what I'm used to. He was not inappropriate at all, but he was rough. It was that finger banging type thing. And I could tell that he was trying to make me like, he was trying to stimulate my G spot and I could tell that he was trying to make me squirt, which is something that I don't do. And, and she had made a comment to me at one point that her husband was really good at making women squirt. And I never said, oh, yeah, I want him to, because it's just not something I'm super interested in. But I could tell, but so he was just very rough. And I said to him, I said, I said, I like it. I like it softer than this. Like, like, you know, ease up a little bit, like go softer. And, and, and I knew that my husband was over there probably going down on her the way that he that he does me. And, and I was thinking in my head, well, the guy's lightened up a little bit for a few for a brief moment. He kind of lightened up, but then he went right back to the old style. And I knew I'm like, there's no way I'm going to come doing this. Like, there's no way. And I'm looking over at my husband doing to her what I know he does to me. And it didn't bother me in a moment, but I thought to myself, well, I'm not getting the short end of the stick. Yeah. I'm like, well, I'd rather be feeling what she's feeling right now. And I ended up turning around in the bed and putting it my head by his feet because I didn't really want to watch him doing that from that angle anymore. And I wanted to be able to touch him. So I turned around. So I was kind of rubbing his butt and his legs and his back while he's going down on her and the guy's going down on me and he's not doing anything for me. And all of a sudden, this woman is starting to come. I could tell she was about to to orgasm. And and I know how much my husband, like, really gets aroused and like loves it when he makes me come like that. So and I could tell why I could kind of hear him. I could kind of hear his sounds and her sounds. I knew it was going on. And it didn't bother me in the moment. As a matter of fact, it almost got me to the point where I thought I was going to have an orgasm just hearing it and seeing it. But it was very surreal in my mind that at that moment, I'm like, my husband is making someone else come like with his mouth. And I was just like just this very out of body experience. And so, yeah, she did. She did have an orgasm and and right after that, she like told him to come up so she could blow him. So he's kind of kneeling over her. And I ended up stopping the guy from going down on me. And I turned around and started blowing him in the bed, which was way more comfortable. And my husband ended up coming behind me. And he was kind of messing with me, like feeling me from behind. And he ended up going down on me from behind while I'm blowing this guy. And it was really hot. I mean, it was it was a very hot scene for all of us. But here's like the biggest mistake or screw up of the whole thing. And I think this comes from just being completely inexperienced. We ever discussed ahead of time where the guys were going to come if they did. OK. So like because my husband, if I said this or not, I think I forgot to tell you this, but my husband and I had kind of agreed that we wanted to be able to finish with each other that night. And so his goal was not to come with her. He he was he just kind of like we wanted to be able to finish with each other. So whether it was in the room with them or later. So he wasn't really like trying to come and it ended up not being a factor because he really didn't get hard enough for that to happen. But we never talked about the other guy. So foolishly, I'm over there going down on this guy with no plan about where he's going to come if he did. And I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to make him. But and I'm stupid because I was thinking in my head at some point during the thing. Well, if he does, I'll know and I'll be able to pull my face away. It my husband, I never had any kind of rule about that. But I only recently in the past couple of years have started letting my husband come in my mouth. And I've always said to him talking about lifestyle stuff. I'm like, I would never let another man come in my mouth. Like, no, I'd never want that. And I still felt that way. I misjudged and thought that I was going to be able to know when this was going to happen and be able to pull my face away. Well, I was wrong. And all of a sudden, this guy is at the point where he's coming in my mouth. And it's kind of going toward the back of my mouth. So I didn't I couldn't have pulled my face away in time to stop that. So it just happened. And in the moment, I wasn't like grossed out or freaked out or upset about it. I was just like, oh, crap, that happened. Mm hmm. And I didn't know what my husband could see. Like I he was behind me, but I didn't know what he could hear or see. So I didn't know if he knew that happened or not. I don't know what he knew. But right after that, like I pulled my face away and I kind of sat up in the bed and, you know, everybody knew what had happened. They knew the guy had come. But I don't know. I didn't know if my husband knew that he'd come in my mouth or not. But we ended up right after that. The other woman was using a vibrator on herself at all. As all this was going on. And so we all kind of gathered around her and and she was just she ended up having another orgasm with her vibrator. And we were just kind of my husband was kind of playing around with her. I think he had his finger in her while she was doing that. And I was just kind of sitting there kind of rubbing on her leg and and she ended up coming in at that moment. It just kind of felt over like my husband and I were just we were just kind of laying there kissing a little bit and like making out a little bit. And the whole thing just felt over like both of them had both of them had finished. And they were just kind of laying there. We were just kind of sitting here. It wasn't awkward at all. But it just kind of felt over and we just said, OK, I think we're going to head back to our room now, you know, whatever. And they're like, OK, you know, whatever. So we ended up heading back to our room and we jumped in the shower and washed off real quick. And then we got in the bed and we we laid in the bed and just talked. I mean, like we did the play by play, like talked about the whole night, everything from the beginning to end. And I mean, it was hot. Like we laid in the bed, just like wrapped up in each other's arms, talking about the whole thing. And and we we got very turned on and we ended up have starting to have sex then. So we got that reclaiming sex and it was insanely hot. But I had the first flicker of a bothersome thought to me. And as as he was talking about making her come with his mouth, I'm like, not in that sex brain anymore. And there was something about the fact that he had made her come with his mouth and he had experienced that that that bothered me a little bit. And it wasn't like an anger thing. It wasn't any of that. It was just that happened. And now he knows what it's like. He knows what another woman tastes like. He knows what it feels like to have another woman come on his face. And yeah, you're not special. You feel like, oh, my God, maybe you're not special anymore because you were the one that made sense. Well, yeah, I felt like, OK, so now now now he has this knowledge of something that he didn't have before. And I felt like a jerk a little bit because I'm like, OK, well, I have the same knowledge, like I know what it's like to have a guy come in my mouth. Like, yeah, you know, so I couldn't be upset about it. Well, you couldn't be mad at him, but you also couldn't help how you felt. But you also didn't feel right about it. Yeah, I still. And it wasn't even it wasn't even that. But in that moment, I had this overwhelming. I mean, we were having sex at this time and this overwhelming like need for him to make me come the same way. So I said to him, I'm like, I stopped having sex with him. And I said, I want you to make me come with your mouth, just like you did her. And it was like, it was like, I wanted to like reclaim that piece. Yeah, I like I want to be the last one that you do that. Yeah. And so and so he did. And it was and it was hot. But and at some point during all that, I told him that the other guy had come in my mouth and he did not know that at the time. Did he get upset by that, though, the gizzing in the mouth? He wasn't upset by it because it happened. He was upset by it because you didn't want it to happen because you didn't like it. Well, well, he did. He was OK with that. But he thought he kind of it was something that he kind of fantasized about seeing like because he gets off on that like he loves to come in my mouth. And he was like, if you ever make it, if another guy ever comes in your mouth, like, I would want to watch that. He felt a little bit jipped. He felt a little bit. OK, that makes sense. But anyway, we're so it was a positive thing. We left we left the next morning. It was nice to just kind of reconnect with them in like a very vanilla way the next morning, but we left and we had four days. We left. We had the next four days off of work. So the four we had like four days of just total like reconnection. It was totally hot, like so much so that like it's crazy. I've never really been able to have G spot orgasms before. But ever since then, I've been able to have like G spot orgasms from penetration alone. Like it's it's opened up some kind of crazy, like different kind of arousal in me that we never had before. Interesting. Yeah. So very, very interesting. But we've we've we're kind of at the point right now where we don't know how we want to proceed at this point. We actually have a date set up next weekend with that other couple, the soft swap only couple. I'm not sure where things are going to go with that. Well, you know, you're not going to do anything more with that couple. So, you know, you have good boundaries with them. Correct. We're still not sure if we want to, you know, take it to full swap or not. Well, they don't do full swap, but you're saying with other with another couple. Well, the other the other couple, the first couple that we did soft swap with is they'll be back in town. They've been messaging us, texting us. We're now in a group text. And I know when they come back down, they're going to ask us out again. So let me ask you this. Were you attracted to the guy? Yeah, he's not. Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, I was. Yeah. I mean, we were both attracted to the other couple. They weren't they they weren't like. You know. Are, you know, the hottest people we could think of. But they're but there's definite attraction there. OK, cool. I mean, yeah, definitely attraction. So you would be interested in sleeping with that guy. I mean, because it sounds like he, you know, he came with your mouth. He didn't like it. He was finger banging you the wrong way. He didn't go down on you great. Like, you know, well, it sounds crazy to say all of that stuff. But but and then say yes, I would be interested in playing with them again because we like them. I mean, they're that makes sense. All that stuff is just communication. He's not a dick. He just didn't know. Right. Right. And that's what we said. We almost feel like we do want to be with them again because we want to get it right with them. Yeah, that makes sense. The next time we really we want to get it right, like we want to. And we went into this. My husband feels like this time it was hard. And it was really hard for him. And I'll say this on his behalf. He went in completely focused on me and like trying to make me feel comfortable and secure. And like, try not to do anything walking on eggshells. Try not to do anything to upset me. And that definitely affected his ability to get hard. And and he did want me to say this, that the few times that he felt like he was getting aroused and was fixing to get an erection, like something took him out of the moment where he thought that something was going on with me. Like he looked over at me one point and said, I had a weird look on my face. And he thought that I was like getting upset. So that kind of took him out of the moment. And that makes sense. So I really do want to do something again with them because there's the comfort level there. So we would start off with a comfort level. And I feel like we're close enough to them that we could say, look, guys, the last time was good. But if we can, we make these changes this time and and get it right the next time. I think we I think we could have a really good experience with them the next time, even if it's just another soft spot. I have a good idea because we couldn't don't have time to talk to Rex. Why don't we, you know, listen, I a lot of times I feel like I get the I have the couples on separately, the guy on and the girl on separately an hour each. And a lot of times it's a completely different episode because the same story from the opposite sex is always very different, right? You're both experiencing very different things. So maybe Rex should come on and do an episode after you guys have like one or two more experiences and then I could get the whole story again from him. And he could say like what happens next with you guys. Don't you think that's interesting? Yeah, he he's telling me that you would or wouldn't do it, Rex. Yeah, but we're going to show more experience. He's shy. Not even just even just one. OK, he doesn't have to. He said he would. OK. He's not he's not a talker like I am. Don't worry. You'd have to you're going to have to drag it out of him. OK, well, if he wants to, that would be an interesting way to get this said. He'll he'll answer anything, honestly. He's just not going to sit there and rattle it off. He doesn't he doesn't need to. I'm you're great at doing that. But most people aren't you. Most people I have to run the call and I do. And I make it very easy for those people. So it's totally cool. And I think it would be interesting. Yeah, I think it would be too, because there's definitely more of this story to unfold. It's definitely just the beginning of the story. But also, I think, you know, to get his point of view of everything as well. I love your point of view. Like I said, it's very much the norm. It's very much like all the feelings that you had and all the things that you put into words are very much what a lot of people think. It's great to, you know, a woman is experiencing this whole situation very differently than a guy, right? For sure. So I think it's super interesting to hear his feelings about it and his experience and also because he's a shy guy, you know what I mean? It is also seeing you go through it. Like what is he experiencing through it as well? I think that's always interesting. And then what when we do it, if you have another one or two experiences where you go hard swap, it'll be interesting to hear that next step for you guys. You know what I mean? Cause you are going slowly, but you are newbies and we could get into those details that I think are super important for other newbies to hear. Yeah. And I agree with, we're definitely willing to. When do you have your next date? When do you have your next date with that? You, you're, so you're seeing the soft swap couple, right? Soft swap couple is coming to our place next weekend. Okay. And then you might, and then you're thinking to do full swap eventually. Like so full swap is on the table for you guys. Maybe one day. Maybe one day. Okay. My thought, my thought is, I think I need to get some more experiences under my belt with soft swap before I'm ready for that. For example, I've never seen him orgasm with somebody else before. Right. Like I kind of feel like I need to see somebody blow him to orgasm. That's something I don't really want to see that. I don't really want to see that for the first time while he's having sex with her. Right. It would be too much. And listen, I think you should heed all of those feeling. Like I think you should listen to all of that stuff. If that's how you feel and that's what you think, that's what you should do. You know what I mean? Know thyself is what I say. And you know, don't push yourself. There's no reason to. I love that your husband isn't pushing you. You're not pushing yourself. There's no reason to put you guys. And listen, you guys, the thing about the lifestyle is that, you know, couples like you guys that have been married since the dawn of time, like even if something terrible happened and you were so jealous and you felt terrible, you know, you guys would be able to work through it and get over it. And you just never do it again. It's not like even if the worst case scenario happened, you know, and this is why you have to go into it with a strong foundation because, you know, maybe someone's going to get jealous or have terrible feelings or see like, I can't handle this. Let's never do this again. But you should be able to work through that and you guys would be able to, you know, but I think the air on the side of caution and if you have those feelings to like, I don't want to do this just yet to listen to them. What's the worst that happens? You do it the next time. You know what I mean? You don't have to force yourself into it. Though that's the only way I was able to go through the thing to begin with. We looked at each other and said, nothing that we do is going to like ruin us. Like we can't do anything bad enough tonight that's going to trash our marriage. And if we hate it, we hate it. We hate it. We don't ever do it again. We also have the agreement that if one of us is out, we're both out. Like we both have the total veto power. And yeah. And that's what it takes. A couple that have a really strong foundation, a couple that really respects each other and their boundaries. You know what I mean? Like and, and all of that kind of stuff. And regardless of what they are, regardless of the, they make them make sense or not. Like you even just said before, like, I know it doesn't make sense, but like, you know, I had a guy's dick in my mouth, but the thought of him having his mouth on her pussy was horrifying to me. You know what I mean? Like even if it doesn't make sense like that, the other person has to be okay with that. And obviously your husband is because you have a strong foundation. That's what it's all about. So listen, you already send me picks that have hot picks of you guys over. People could see that swingers, people that have non-monogamous lifestyles are hot over on my Patreon anonymous specs. You'll get free access to it to see the comments. I love this episode. I'm so glad you called in. It's so important. I think for like, like you said, and I believe in it because I've heard it that a lot of people that have been doing this for a long time when they, by the time they call into my show, they don't mean to not bring up all the details in the beginning, but they just don't remember them. You know what I mean? You forget about shit. The 10 years from now, you're going to forget all these things. It'll be interesting. You could come back, listen to this episode and be like, Oh, I don't even remember that I felt that way. You know, it's just the way it is. So it's so great to hear from somebody that is going through it right now. So you can remember all those things that you felt because other people feel them too. You're not abnormal. I think you're more normal than most people. And that's what I love that because I feel like it's so relatable this episode. So thank you, Lisa for calling in. Rex could call in anytime or if you want to do the part two when you do a full swap, it's fine. But I think to get the story from Rex would be super interesting. So if he wants to call in again, just use the link. Okay. Yeah, we will. Okay. Awesome. Thanks so much for calling. This was great. Thanks so much. Bye. All right. Bye bye. Oxford Montessori School is now Oxford Millwood School, a new name, the same genuine care, academic ambition and belief in every child. Set within a beautiful rural campus, just 20 minutes from Oxford City Centre, our small classes, personalised pathways and strong send expertise. Give pupils the support, challenge and confidence they need to succeed, especially those who may not have thrived in larger settings. Find out more at our open day on May the 21st. Search Oxford Millwood School Open Day. Thank you all so much for being here at our wedding. I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with a woman of my dreams. Speaking of dreams, have you ever dreamed of tasting all the colours of the rainbow? Because that is exactly what you get with Skittles. Five bold fruit flavours in every pack. Lemon, orange, lime, strawberry and blackcurrant. They're chewy, they're colourful, they're perfect. Just like my wife. So thank you for coming and remember to buy Skittles. Shamelessly promote the rainbow, taste the rainbow. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cook queen story. There's a cook story. There's a gang bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book, think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters. Easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in e-back format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you'd get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. That's strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.