It's the Late Show Pot Show with Stephen Colbert. Thanks, everybody. Welcome back. Of course, this is one of the stars of the life of Chuck. Mark Hamill. And Corvette Summer. And Corvette Summer. Mark Hamill. Mark. Mark, thanks so much for being here. You know, I've always enjoyed talking to you. Every time we've had a chance to be together. I love hearing your stories and knowing more about you. But even the best interview with a guest can't always get to who the essence of that person is. So we're here at the Late Show coming up with something that future historians will call the Colbert Questionnaire. And the Colbert Questionnaire is like 13, 14 questions here that penetrate straight to the soul of someone and reveal them fully to the world and to the audience. Are you prepared? Have you the courage to be known, Mark Hamill? Am I allowed to lie? Yes. Well, then I have complete confidence. Okay, great. I'll try and tell the truth. Mark Hamill, what is the best sandwich? Ooh. Albuquerque white tuna on toasted rye. Oh, nice. Anything else on there? A little lemon juice and sweet relish. Okay, there you go. All right. Very important. What was your first concert that you attended? My first concert I ever attended was The Rolling Stones. What? How old were you? I was 17. What is the scariest animal? Oh, scariest animal. A hungry dog? No, I think a shark. Sure. A shark's fine. Okay, good. Apples or oranges? I love them both, but I'm going to go with oranges because you get the fruit and you get a drink. It's juicy and delicious. Oh, you go. Sure. It's efficient. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph? Oh, when I was about nine or 10, my father ran the PX and he met with Boris Selwyn, who was a jewelry dealer at the bistro in Los Angeles. He said to me, you know who's sitting right over there? And I said, who? He goes, that's Groucho Marx. I looked around and I said, that's not Groucho Marx. I was a huge Groucho fan, but obviously he wasn't wearing this mustache and all that. He said, no, that is Boris said, believe me, that is him. Go ask for his autograph. So it wasn't my idea, but I went over there and I had a bistro matchbook cover. I said, I almost couldn't talk. I said, can I have your autograph? Oh, you don't have my autograph? Well, that's one strike against you. What's your name? Oh, no name and no autograph. That's two strikes against you. One more strike and you're out of the ballgame. And I managed to get out Mark Camel. Camel-a, I don't see a hump. Well, don't worry. You'll have one by the time you're my age. That's true. That's the greatest Groucho story I've ever heard. And it's every bit true. My dad said later, when I was walking over his table, Boris lived down the street from him in Beverly Hills. He did this towards me, like give him the business. But again, it wasn't my idea. I love people, but that wouldn't be something that would occur to me. Do you still have it? Somewhere. I haven't seen it in years, but of course I have it somewhere. And then you played the Groucho part in Room Service on Broadway. I saw that. Directed by Alan Arkand. I ushered to be able to see that because it was a college student. I couldn't afford tickets. You know, I think I've heard that before. Yeah. That's wonderful. Yeah, I talk about it to everyone. Oh, good. What do you think happens when we die? Gee, I'd like to think that we're all floating up in the clouds playing harps, but I'm worried that we're just worm food. I'm trying to, I don't know. I mean, that's, you gotta believe. But either way, I think we'll work out all right. It's going to be fine. Yes, yes. It'll be fine for us or it'll be fine for the worms. Exactly. Why should they have a treat? Yeah. I'm sure we're delicious. Yeah, we must be. To worms. Favorite action movie. Oh gosh. I love The Dirty Dozen. I'm showing my age now. Sure, sure. But Stalag 17, that wasn't really action. More recently. Whatever you want. Yeah. Just, I don't know. Aliens? Oh, the second one. The second one. Well, when I got over the disappointment, because the first one, they were just, you could not stop them. They bled acid. And here in the second one, you just shoot them. And there were, you know, 50,000 of them. So once I got over the disappointment, they didn't maintain the premise. It's a pretty darn good action movie. Yeah. I hear good things. All right. Okay. You haven't seen it yet? I have never seen it. Oh, I won't spoil it. I'm f***ing with you. Oh, good. You can say the F word. Oh, f*** yeah. Oh! You can't actually say it. You can't actually say it. Okay. Window or aisle? Window. Okay. I said window because I like to look outside the window and I like to get on the plane at the end because if you get on first, everybody walks by you and you spend the rest of the afternoon writing, may the voice be with you on menus. Favorite smell? Oh, coffee. Popcorn. Oh. Yeah. My wife's neck. Oh, wow. Hey, rub a little popcorn on there. Yeah. Exactly. A little butter. All right. Least favorite smell? Oh, gosh. The subway? I don't know. On a hot summer day? Sure. Yes, exactly. Earliest memory? Oh, gosh. Earliest memory. I remember seeing a man on the Walt Disney show with white hair and a suit. I must say it was before kindergarten. I was maybe three or four and he got up to the microphone, Clarence Nash, and he did the voice of Donald Duck. And it just blew my mind. I mean, I was so young. I thought, I guess, oh yeah, there must be people who do daffy and bugs and all that, but it was an epiphany. And I thought, I want that job. I do. You got that job. I do a terrible Donald Duck. And what I'm saying is, clickity click, I thought, gee, people go to work and they're the voices of cartoons. Yeah. You know, it didn't make me a very good studier in high school. I mean, I was working on my yogi bear. Hey boo boo. Hey, yeah, boo boo. Okay. Hey, yog. Okay. Well, I kind of know this one. Cats or dogs? I love all animals, but I love dogs the most. There you go. Listen, I'm fascinated by cats, but they just tolerate us. Yes. They don't really need us. They live with us. Yes. Not for us. Yes. And they allow us to serve them. But again, I love all animals. I love elephants. I love, I mean, I follow this account on Blue Sky. It's nothing but, it's called in otter news. It's just otters? It's just otters. Swimming, eating, basking in the sun. I need cute animal clips in my life to distract myself from reality. You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What is it? Now, this is, you know, it's not constant, but when you go to listen to music, this is the music that you get. Well, I'm a huge Ray Davies fan. Oh, wow. He wrote a song called Waterloo Sunset. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. And let me tell you something. I eventually met Ray and his brother, Dave, and Ray told me the biggest compliment he ever had was seeing a quote in the newspaper when Paul McCartney said, Paul McCartney said, I should have written that song. I said, no higher praise than that. That's pretty great. But I have to say my second favorite or equal favorite of Ray's is a celluloid heroes. Sure. And it's about, you know, stars on Hollywood Boulevard and he singles out all these different. He's so witty. He's so right. There are stars in every city on every in every house and on every street. And if you walk down Hollywood Boulevard, they're written in concrete. It's a lovely melody and a village green preservation. Oh, my God. And Dave, Dave, I think wrote Strangers. Yeah. And he, yeah, he, he's underrated. He must, it must be hard having an overachieving brother. Yeah. He wrote Death of a Clown as well. What number am I thinking of? Nine. No. Oh, shoot. Mark Hamill described the rest of your life in five words. Um, staying in pajamas all day. Good plan. Congratulations, Mark. You are known. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
