GGACP Rewind: Episode #29: Henry Winkler

Hi, this is Gilbert Godfrey, and this is Gilbert Godfrey's amazing colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre, and our guest today is a celebrated actor, director, and producer. He's been in hit movies like Night Shift and The Water Boy. Worked with everyone from Catherine Hepburn to Harrison Ford, and played one of the most iconic characters in television history. Author, The Fonz Fonzarelli. He's also our only guest to have his very own statue. Welcome, Henry Winkler! Wow, I cannot wait to meet this guy. What a wonderful introduction. Yes, it sounds like it should be followed by Andy passed away in his Hollywood home. Well, you know what? That's so funny because I was thinking trumpets, but hey, I was thinking fanfare. Now, Henry, I think we've met. You and I have met many times because I was lucky enough with Michael Leavitt to produce two years of Hollywood Squares. And we found that your humor, your wit, we didn't have a square large enough to house it. So we had to add on footage in order to have you on the show. Am I right? Yes, I remember. You remember the timber we brought in, the nails, the hammers? And you did it yourself. I did it myself. I wore work gloves. The first and only time. First and only time a Jew ever knew how to do carpentry. It's absolutely true. Yes. Now, it's funny because I grew up watching Hollywood Squares. And I remember I started to get like that cynical way of looking at it. And I would think like, oh, this is a show for celebrities at the bottom of their career and how pathetic. And then when I got the show, I thought, wow, this is so much fun. We didn't we have fun and not only that, but also we made sure that we were catered well so that we ate well. That was important to me. I actually produced the show only for the breakfast burrito. The food was great on that show. Yeah. And first year, Wolfgang Puck did it. Oh, yeah. And not out of his airport pizza places either. Was Gilbert fun or was he difficult on the Squares? No, actually, Gilbert, every guest would look at the lineup we had and would fight over being on a show that Gilbert was on. Because Gilbert wrote his own stuff, his own answers, and was incredibly funny. And here's the thing. You don't have to take my word for it. If you find the shows and they've got to be online somewhere that he did, you will see that I'm right. Our mutual friend, Michael Levitt, who you just mentioned, said to ask you about Carol Channing. Is there a Carol Channing story? There might be, but it's only in his head. Carol Channing came on and I remember her only being charming. He said he implied that she dozed off in her square. That's so possible. There were other guests who would check for split ends in their hair. We zoomed in and they were nowhere in the building. They were checking their hair. Didn't you play practical jokes on Bergeron? We did. There was an April Fool's joke where we hired contestants from hell. And to this day, Tom said it is the best get that he's ever had played on him. He didn't know what was going on and the guests were yelling at each other. They were going to beat each other up over him. It was fantastic. Now you actually, I think, discovered Marley Matlin. Well, Marley Matlin, I went to play softball with the Happy Days Ball team. We got to Chicago and I was invited to come to a school for hearing impaired students. It was like an after-school, they spent time doing arts and crafts or plays, dancing, singing, whatever it was. This young lady came out and performed. She was 12. Marley Matlin was 12. And I started to cry, not because always in this sad, here is a girl who can't hear. And she's dancing. I cried because here was a 12-year-old who was so talented that the floor of the stage caught on fire because she had so much heat. And she came up to you and said she wanted to be an actress. That's right. I went backstage. I had to meet her. She came up and said, I need to do what you do. Her mother said, please tell her she's deaf. She can't be an actress. And I said, Madam, I'm the wrong guy. From what I just saw, from that performance on that stage, I think this young lady can do pretty much anything she sets her mind to. And then when she went on to win the Academy Award for Children of Alessar God. Yes. And a lot of people then were saying, well, she's deaf. She played a deaf girl. That's it for her. Yes. And she was, uh, fell into a depression. Yes. And then she came and asked if she could stay for the weekend. Um, she didn't know where to go and she stayed for two and a half years and then got married in our backyard. Wow. So she became like our second daughter. She now has, um, just two beautiful daughters, three beautiful sons. And she worked with Gilbert Gottfried. And she worked with Gilbert Gottfried. But you know what? It's like a rite of passage. If in your career you do not work with Gilbert Gottfried, you're pretty much finished by 42. I mean, can you imagine? I'm still standing. I'm here. Uh, uh, my partner and I have just written our, uh, 29th novel and I, I, it's all at Gilbert's feet. He's inspired so many Henry. Now, I guess one of the reasons you are supportive of her as you're supportive of, of so many people was now you had, or you have dyslexia. Yes, I do. And, um, I had no support when I was growing up. And what I would do, I would lie in bed at night, honest to God. And I would think to myself, hmm, I'm going to be a different parent. I'm going to be a different kind of, um, viewer of other people. And so it is, I want kids to know how much power they have inside them. I was told I would never achieve. Uh, I'm staying, I'm sitting here in my house talking to you, having a wonderful memories of us working together. And, uh, everyone should know all things are possible. And I heard your support system did not come at all from your parents. Well, they escaped Nazi Germany. They came to America. Uh, I was very fortunate. My sister and I, uh, we had good educations, uh, although I, I couldn't really benefit because it was so hard for me to learn. Um, but they never looked at us as people. And I made the decision when I was a parent, I would see, um, the little people in front of me if we had children. And now years ago, dyslexia like autism was looked upon as, oh, a black guy's retard. That's right. Yeah. And now, uh, you know, what happens is that, listen, a child is born, uh, they come out and they are who they are. You, if you're very quiet and you watch a child develop, they will tell you exactly who they are. Not everybody is great at school, but that doesn't mean that that human being who is not doing well in geometry is not going to be a, an incredible, um, eye doctor, architect. Yeah. That's her. I was horrible in school. Really? And now on the best eye doctor there is. You know what? I'm going to come to you because I need a new prescription. Henry, we should point out that you, you're, you're from right here in New York City. You grew up on the Upper West side and you went, you went to the, uh, McBurney school, which is no longer here on 63rd street. Yes. So you brought up that I have no history. Is that what you say? Just wiped it out. We wanted to brag on you being a New Yorker. Yes. I'm 78th from Broadway. Yeah. And you, and you were the class clown, weren't you? I was the class clown. That's well, but I, you, now you know that kids who are disruptive unless they are psychotic, don't do it because they wake up in the morning and they think, oh, I'm going to be like a pain in your ass today. They do it because they are covering, uh, their inability in a subject here and a subject there. Interesting. Were you a class clown, Gilbert? Uh, I don't, I see, I always thought the class clowns were the ones who became the guys that come up to me after the show and say, I'm the funniest guy at my job. Oh, right, right, right. I always love the question, uh, when they look you right in the face, people you don't know, they go, who am I? I go, I, I don't know. I didn't know when you asked me. I don't know now and now because you asked me the question. I really don't want to know who you are. Now, also, what was it that your parents used to call you? Oh, Dumma Hunt, which means a dumb dog because they were so supportive. It's so funny that even from German Jews, something said in German is so horrible sounding. It really is. It isn't it? It's amazing. It's amazing. They would listen, they would sit down, they would tell me to sit down for dinner and, uh, it, it, I, you know, it sounded like a death sentence. Can you say sit down for dinner in German? All right, let's see, let's see. Yeah. Put out the half damn dish in the chair. Wow, fluids. I can picture, I pictured you in a total SS uniform when you said that. Can I just tell you I polished my boots before I came on the show. So Henry, you're in McBurnie's school. You're having all this anxiety about kids and learning problems. How did you decide and was there a catalyst? How did you decide you wanted to be an actor? No, I, all during the journey since I was seven, I knew that if people were born to do something, I was born to try and be an actor. And I get to live my dream. It's, it's the most amazing thing. Our newest novel came out on Friday, as a matter of fact. Oh, I should tell, tell the audience what your novels are about. Okay. There are 18 called Hank Zipser, the world's greatest underachiever. And they're the story of my life as a dyslexic. There will be eight. Here's Hank, which are second graders, brand new readers for the reluctant reader. And there are four ghost buddies, which is a whole other set of comedies where the, the, the ghost sounds just like the fonds. I don't know how that happened. But the newest one, Hank Zipser loves to make lists. He makes lists about everything. And so we took the best list in all of the novels and then added six or seven in each category. And so it's called My Book of Pickles. Whoops, I mean lists. Now you also, I heard, talked a boy out of committing suicide. That was when we were shooting the show, Happy Days. I got a lot of calls on the set and a policeman called me from Indiana, I believe. And he said, I've got a kid on the ledge and he will only talk to you. Wow. I don't know. And I have to say that if you think about it now, I was crazy. Yeah, sure. I'll talk to him. But here it is. I don't know if it was true. I mean, if this kid was really suicidal, I now had this kid's hand in my life. I had no business talking to this child, not being not a trained therapist. But I talked to him and he wanted to be an actor and I asked him how old he was. And I told him that, you know, 12 years after his age was when I got the funds, there was plenty of time for him to figure out what he was going to do with his life. Could he please go back inside and let's finish this conversation? Did you talk to him as the funds? No, I talked to him as Henry. I know. I did not talk to him as the funds. That did not occur to me. It just seemed so life and death. I didn't think about using fantasy. Now, someone else who I've worked with and was also very fond of, you actually started with you on your show and that's Robin Williams. Oh my goodness. That, Gilbert, that was an amazing moment because we rehearsed Happy Days from 9 o'clock in the morning on Monday and shot the show 7 o'clock Friday night in front of a live audience. So it's Wednesday now. We don't have an actor to play this alien in the script. Wednesday afternoon, they bring down a young man who I don't think has ever done television before. He picks up the script and outcomes Robin Williams' version of whatever is on the page and you knew instantly you were in the presence of greatness. And that's where Mark and Mindy stand from. Yes, that's right. His character was so successful in the one appearance on Happy Days that Gary developed a show for him using that character with Pam D'Aubra as Mindy. Is it true, Henry, that Al Molinares suggested Robin that he knew him from an improv class? Do you know what, that actually I have never heard that fact or if I did, it faded from my memory. I don't know that to be true. It may not be true, but that's what I've heard. He was brought down by the casting director, Bobby Hoffman, who cast all 10 years, knew everybody in town. That's how I met him. I never heard that it was Al Molinares' suggestion, but Al was great at Indian stuff, but I never heard that. Now, I read a story that when your parents were escaping Nazi Germany, that your father brought, he had some diamonds with him. Well, he had the family jewelry. He had a pocket watch that belonged to his great grandfather. He had some of the bracelets that belonged to his mother. And in order to get it out of Germany, he bought a box of chocolate. He melted the chocolate, and then he poured it over each piece of jewelry, put it back in the box, and put the box under his arm. So when the Nazi said, hey, we're going to check your luggage, are you taking anything out of Germany? You're only going for five weeks on a business trip. He said, go right ahead. And I got that pocket watch that came out of Germany and cased in chocolate on my Bar Mitzvah. I still have it today. Oh my God. Gilbert, you did some deep research. Yeah. What do you think to do with the Nazis? So Henry, we'd talk a little bit about happy days, actually a lot, but going back, I'm just still trying to make the connection of how you decide to become an actor. You went to Yale drama school. Yes. But I, listen, I made no connection. That's the thing. Was there something that I thought about? No, certainly. Certainly, I have thought about this. I am so sorry. I'm a coffee and so it's you, me, Gilbert and a frog. But anyway, could that be our next TV show? I swear to God, you, me, Gilbert and a frog brought to you by Amazon Prime. He's been a parrot. You know, I have never, it is not like a moment that I thought, oh, I'd like to try that. I have, it was infused in me. Oh, I've got to do that. I don't know what the trigger point was. No particularly galvanizing moment or no inspiration, no movie, no TV show. My inspirations were all over the place. I mean, when I was growing up Alistair Sims, there were Humphrey Bogart. There were these incredible actors who just made it so, so easy. And I thought, oh, I wanted to be them. And then of course, it took me a long time to get into that kind of comfort zone that those men knew already so early. It was your first job on TV on a game show? My first job was that I was paid $10 as a contestant on a show that I have completely forgotten the name of. We're going to dig that out. Now, yes. Now, another person both of us have worked with and both were very fond of and who I worked with in two problem child movies, among other things. I was John. John Ritter. Yeah. Yeah. I did a TV movie, a Broadway show, animation, I guess started with him. We went out to dinner. I watched his children grow up. He was an incredible guy. I miss him every day. I really do. He would carry this black satchel with him made out of leather. And in it, he had three books that he was reading simultaneously, newspapers he never got to, and loose change. There was enough loose change in that bag to pay for his mortgage. And he would cart that thing around with him. He was always in the middle of reading something. And I remember the last time I saw John Ritter, we bumped into each other was actually backstage at Hollywood Squares. Oh, yeah. And I just remember that the last moment he saw me and his face lit up and... As everybody does. I mean, that's just true. He put his arms out and he goes, hey, buddy, and we gave each other a hug. And that's the last I remember. Yeah. I was on his show, Eight Simple Rules. He asked me to be a guest star. And it was four o'clock in the afternoon and he said, wow, I feel I have to get some water. I'm not feeling well. And I said, oh, okay, why do you do that? I'm going to memorize my line so I don't stink up the place. And that was literally the last time I saw him. I'm 11 o'clock that night. I got a phone call at home saying we lost John. It was surreal. And I heard you kept asking because you didn't believe you heard it. It's really true. I kept saying, no, no, no, what did you just say? What did you just say? I would not think in that in the afternoon, I was just enjoying my friend. And then in the evening, his family lost a husband and a father and the world lost a master and we lost our friend. And you then testified for Amy Yazbek, his wife. That is true. They asked me to come to court about what happened or what I saw happen. Oh my God, it was amazing. But we did Broadway for nine months together and he was just funny. He would say the same joke. Like he would put his hand on his hip and go, I'm here all week, enjoy the feel. Or whatever it was, but he would do it seven times a day. And the seventh time was as funny as the first time. You know what I mean? He never, he was just an amazing fellow. Gilbert and I were talking about that TV movie you mentioned, Henry, where you played a heavy. Well, he killed me. He had to kill me in order to get me out of his life. We both know that movie and you played a stalker. Yes, I did. I completely terrorized his family. Did you want to play more heavies because you were good at it? Well, you know what? I love my job. So I get to do, like tomorrow I'm going to do Parks and Recreation again. You know, I just am so grateful that I am still standing and still doing what I love to do. I think the first time I saw you speaking about you do so many sitcoms, I think the first time I remember you was on the Mary Tyler Moore show. That was my very, very first job. As wrote his friend who had just been fired. Do you remember your line from... Yes, please pass the salt. Because it was one of Mary's famous dinner parties and then Ritter brings you at the last minute and they don't have enough room for you at the table so you get to sit at your own little table. Yeah, they didn't have enough veal or lov. That's right. Yeah, that's a famous episode. And then I saw you on the Newhart Show where you played the ex-con, Miles Lasko. Well, I'll tell you why. They were the Mary Tyler Moore show. Grant Tinker who was the mastermind and Mary. He was married to Mary Tyler Moore at the time. They were so wonderful to me that I was asked to work five times for that company while even after I had gotten the font. So I did the Paul Sand pilot where I first met Penny Marshall. She was one of the stars of that show. It was... that was an amazing company. If you... if they thought that you did a great job, they really took good care of you. Now, I heard when they were casting the fonts, they wanted some really big strapping guy. Yes. Paul they got was a guy because I'm not that I fit. But I wasn't Italian. I wasn't big. I wasn't strapping. And I'm... you know, I think about it all the time. I went in to the audition. I did what my imagination told me to do. If that didn't happen, if I didn't get that, what would have happened in my life? Where would I be now? What would have become of my journey? And I don't matter because no matter where I go in the world, people are extraordinary to me because I played that character. They like arrested development. They like the water boy. They like Scream. Now in England, Hang Zips, the world's greatest underachiever, is on the BBC. We're doing our second season. But man, oh man, the fonts just is like a gift from God or something. I don't know. It just fell in my lap out of the heaven. And it's funny for people who don't, who are too young to remember that, is people forget what a monster hit Happy Days was. Yeah. And you were the Beatles. Well, it certainly took me by surprise. I had no idea that that kind of response was going to happen. It was amazing. We were in Dallas and Ron Howard, Donnie Most, and Anson Williams and I were making an appearance in a parking lot of the Neiman Marcus. 25,000 people came to see us in a parking lot. And our car was on the other side of those people. And I used the character for one of the first times ever only off the show. And I said, all right, now listen, you're going to park like the Red Sea. And we're going to walk to our car. And they did. And I can't use profanity, but some little girl, some little girl said, oh, you're so cool. And some little girl said, oh, he's short. And I went, hey, up yours. I'm not short. Oh, you're cool. And then they parted. We got into the car and drove away. It was like rubbing the belly of a frog. You know, you're putting them to sleep. It was amazing, amazing moment in my life. And it's funny because I mentioned the Beatles and you mentioned the Anson Williams. And a short while ago, I don't know, about a year or so ago, I was talking to Anson Williams on the phone. And he sent me a photo. And it was like a photo of the cast and crew of Happy Days. And I looked and said, oh, that's nice. And he goes, no, look closely. And I looked and John Lennon. Yes. And his son, Junior. Yes, a great picture. You can find it online. It's a great photo. I'm still not in leather yet. So it was at the very beginning of the show. Oh, you're wearing the windbreaker. I'm wearing the windbreaker. And John Lennon was so shy. And I didn't know how to break the ice with him. And finally, I mentioned his solo album. And there is a song on it, which is like a primal scream called Mother. And I started to talk to him about the music. And he opened like a flower. It was amazing. And then now, now little Julian is nine years old. Ten years later. I had a knock on my door at my office on the Paramount lot where I'm producing MacGyver. And all of a sudden a man stands there and he says, I don't know if you'd remember me. I'm Julian. I said, Julian, I will never forget you. That's great. No, I'm sorry. No, no, no, I'm just going to say at that time he had a hit show and there was a show on television called Solid Gold. And he was the guest on Solid Gold. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. Isn't life grande and making it better just got easier with Starbucks new protein cold foam. A little something, something to take your favorite drinks up a notch with 15 grams of extra protein. Turn your usual iced caramel latte into a smooth iced caramel protein latte. Add a delicious swirl on top of your drink just like that. Protein never tasted so good with Starbucks new protein cold foam. Subject to availability while stocks last. Tell us just a little bit more about auditioning for the part when they when they first called you. Did you say something like if I could infuse this guy with real, real emotion? No. Well, when they called me and said, hey, would you like to play the part? I said, look, you can't be one note. He's got to be an emotional guy. He's kind of a loner. If you let me show the emotion, it will be my pleasure to play him. And did sliced alone who you would work with on the Lords of Flatbush influence the character? Well, fly. It was an amazing guy because. At the time that we did Lords of Flatbush, fly was not cut. He was not like this sculpted body. He was a little doughier, but he was funny, witty, a great writer. He painted his windows black in a walk up apartment on Lexington Avenue. There was no elevator with his first wife and his bullmastiff dog. And I was influenced by him because he had such a fabulous imagination. And when he got to California, he drove out here. His car broke down on Sunset Boulevard and he called me and I went and picked him up, his wife and his dog and took them to the rented apartment they had somewhere in north of Sunset in Hollywood. Now, I saw Lords of Flatbush in the theater with unbelievably the totally unknown Henry Winkler and Sylvester Stallone. Right. And do you remember the theme song? Yeah, written by Joel Brooks, right? And yeah, when Perry King was riding his motorcycle after he broke up with Susan. Susan Blakely. Susan Gorgeous Blakely. And they sang that song. Hey, hey, what do you say? Looks like it's gonna be a very fine day. My girl is with me today. Looks like some real fine things are coming my way. Just hanging out with nothing to do. Lucky, lucky me that I've run to you. Looking so good. Looking so fine. I wonder, wonder, wonder, can I make you mine? Bow bow bow bow bow. Do you know that that is exactly the way I remember it? Henry, when was the last time you sang that song? Are you telling me that you sang it on the record? Yes. That was him. You know, if I didn't love you before, that's amazing to me. I'm gonna get, I'm gonna break out the vinyl and listen to that again. People forget my musical career. Henry, did you ever mention that you sing that rap-wish song? I am never going to forget that rendition of that pathetic song again. Oh, and I have to ask you too. Yes. It's become part of the English language, and that's the term jump the shark. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I'm the only actor in the universe who's jumped the shark twice. Once on happy days and once on arrested development. Oh, that's right. Now, now can you, well, now jump the shark now means you passed the point of no return. That's right. And so describe that episode of happy days. My father, because I was a water skiing instructor at camp. You know, I was a camp counselor as one of my jobs. And he said, oh, tell the producers you've water ski. I said, no, I don't think I'm going to do that. No, no, no, this is very good. Tell them you've water skis. This is a good thing. Your dad was Hans Conreed. I was thinking Scrooge McDuck. Yeah, I think that Scrooge McDuck had was a lovelier. The thing is that I went to the producers and I said, my father wants me to tell you, I water ski. And all of a sudden we were in California and they were going to have me jump the shark. John Hine was with his roommate, I believe, at Michigan University or the University of Michigan, not the Spartans, the other guys, the blue and the yellow. The Wolverines? Yeah, the Wolverines. The Wolverines. And he's sitting there and came up with this phrase in college and turned the phrase into an industry. And he now does a radio show on serious radio. And I went to do it like two years ago. We sat down for an hour and had a wonderful time. You become the symbol of people and shows that have gone on and went to that point where they went too long. Yeah, yeah. Except we were ahead for the next five years anyway. That's number one. And number two, every time they mentioned jump the shark, they show a picture of me in water skis. And as I like to say, I had great legs at that time. So I just don't care. You mentioned the windbreaker, Henry. Yes. We have to talk about it, that the network did not want you to wear a leather jacket. I mean, people know this story. But what I didn't know in doing the research was that the compromise Gary Marshall made with the network was that you could wear the leather jacket if you were on the motorcycle, but you hate motorcycles. That's right. I do not ride a motorcycle. I still don't know how to ride a motorcycle. That was all acting. But the fact is that Gary had a meeting with ABC. They came to a compromise that, okay, I would wear leather if I was in a scene with my motorcycle. There were no cell phones at that time. Gary, left ABC, went down to the lobby, used a pay phone, called the writer's room at Paramount Studios of Happy Days and said, never write a scene for the fonts without his bike. Because he hated the windbreaker. Because he wanted him to wear leather, and ABC thought I would be associated with crime. Yeah, the windbreaker looked ridiculous. Yes, it was really hard to be cool in a jacket where the collar flopped. It's really true. And just a little bit more about auditioning for the part, Henry. A couple of things. You got the part on your birthday or you auditioned on your birthday? No, no, no. I got the part on my birthday. They called me on October 30th, 1973, and said, would you like to play this part? Wow. And we're talking to Mickey Dolan's tomorrow. Yes, well, he's a lovely man. Yes, we're looking for him. I watched him when, before I ever got to Hollywood, I saw him do that incredible show, The Monkeys. And wasn't he, do I have this incorrect too, or wasn't he? No, I believe that he was there and was auditioning also. For Fonzie? Absolutely. And I heard they thought at that point they had decided against a big guy, and they thought he'd be taller than the other cast members. I don't know that. I was never told that. The story I heard is they were looking for somebody who was six foot two, but after you... Well, they were looking for Paul Lamatt. Oh, Paul Lamatt, sure. Melvin and Howard. Mm-hmm. But the story I hear is that when you left the room, they said that guy auditions like he's six two. Wow, that's lovely. Thanks. And when you were at the height of your Fonzie thing... I was still five, six and a half. And by the way, our mutual friend Tom Leopold says he auditioned for the part of Fonzie, too. Oh, Tom, Tom, is he still writing and performing? Yes, he's a close friend of Gilbert's and mine, and we're going to interview him for the show. But he said, tell Henry. Yeah, well, give him my warmest regard. We will. Apparently he auditioned for Fonzie, which I didn't know. Yeah. A lot of people did. And so you were offered the part in Greece. Yes, I was. Yes, I was. The producer came on the set of Happy Days and said, we would like you to do this movie. And I thought to myself, like an idiot, well, I've just done the Fonz. I don't want to play the same guy. I don't want to be typecast. And I turned it down. I went home and had a soda. John Travolta went home and bought a plane. How many times over the years have you kicked yourself? Never once. No? No, it was the decision I made and I lived with it. And John was unbelievable in it. Do you know Travolta? Yes, we've met a few times over the years. Of course, it was like those two characters were the two top cool guys. Right, that's right. Danny and Fonzie? Yeah, they tried to build a conflict between us that never existed. I once called him on the set and I said, you're not saying this in the press, are you? Because I'm not saying this in the press. He said, no, I'm not saying it. So we just let it go wherever it went. I wanted to ask Henry about what we talked about before about the original Happy Days pilot. But you weren't in the original pilot that Gary Marshall... No, the original pilot was an episode of another show. Right. So the other show, Love American Style, was made up of vignettes and one of the vignettes was the Happy Days family. Love and the Happy Days. Also, when people talk about Happy Days, it seems like they make it like, well, American graffiti came out and that's what gave them the idea. But it was different than that, wasn't it? You know what, I think that Gary always had the idea to create something like this from... You know, it's basically the kids and the environment. He grew up in, except that it was in the Bronx, not in the walkie. And was Fonzie based on a real guy from Gary Marshall? I think so. I think it was. And they had filmed... You know, Gary Marshall's real name is Macharelli. Sure. Yeah, and they filmed the Happy Days pilot way before American graffiti. I heard it. You know what, I think that's true because as we were working, I went to the premiere of that movie. So I think that's true, yeah. Yeah, there was a pilot called New Family in Town and it wasn't Tom Bosley as the dad. No, no, it was another wonderful actor who is no longer with us. Now, I also, during the years of Happy Days, because Fonzie was so influential, they did two episodes, one episode you get a library card. Yes, that's true. Oh, yes. And what happened after you... What happened was that all I said one line to Richie, I said, hey, look at this, you could get a library card for free and you could meet chicks there. And the registration for library cards in America went up 500% within weeks. And where did the Civil Rights episode come from? That came that it was the same thing, the sitting where we went down south and I sat in at the counter. It just came from what the writers thought was an important part of the history of the time the show took place in. And there was another episode where Fonzie gets glasses. Yes, and that was the obstetricians of... obstetrician, is that right? Optician? Optometrist? Yeah, optometrist. Oh my God. It's a whole other area. It's a whole other area that you don't see well from. But oh my God, yes, right. The eye doctors from Rodeus wrote Gary and said, look, would you make it cool to wear glasses? So the Fonzie did. I went to the hospital to have my tonsils removed. And then there was one episode where the Fonze cried over Richie in the hospital and I made a deal with God. If God made Richie better, then I would be more something. And I started to cry in that episode and that was because there was a home for delinquent kids in up in Massachusetts, I believe, that wrote a letter saying, look, these kids love the Fonze, but they won't show any emotion. Could you do an episode where the Fonze does so they see that it's cool to do that? Wow. Gilbert and I were talking, Henry, about what happened when the ratings started to slip a bit and Fred Silverman decided that maybe they should change the name of the show. Yeah, well, they changed the name of the show and they wanted to give me my own show. They wanted to call it Fonze's Happy Days. And then they wanted me to spin off and do Fonze's own show. And I said, first of all, I will not allow the name to be changed because that would be so disrespectful to everybody I've been working with for the last seven years. Number two, why would I want to do my own show if the Fonze lives and dies with these people? I believe that the success was based on my relationship with those incredible people that I shared the show with. Interesting. And some of our listeners and our fans on Facebook, and you've been asked this a hundred times, I'm sure, but did someone say, did Fonze kill Chuck so he could move into the garage? No, you know what happened? The Fonze became the older brother and they couldn't write two older brothers, so they wrote Chuck out. And didn't Chuck just go to his room one day? Yes, he walked upstairs and never came down. Great TV history. He like slipped into another dimension. Although I had to ask one question. Go ahead. Other than the fact that you think Pinky Tusketeria is a cunt. Well, you know what? I would never use that particular word. But yes, it is true. I did not like her. I didn't think she was a good actress. I just didn't like the entire personage. Oh, good. And so, but you know, there she is and she's there for however many episodes and so you make the best of it. But there are very few people I didn't get along with. You know, your job as an actor is to make it work. In essence, you make the script work. You make your relationship with the director, with the other cast members, with the clothing, with the everything. You make it work. And I just, I mean, you know, I really understand if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say it. So I will stop there. Okay. And for the record, I never liked you. No, you know, and I'm okay with that. As long as I'm not kidding. Because really, Gilbert, I am using you as long as we mentioned the books, I will stand the stink of being on the phone with you. And let's, you know, I'm very, I'm very comfortable. I've got a nose clip on my nose. Oh, I wanted to ask you, I want sir to tell us another question. Yes, another question. How many questions do you have? Is this the way this goes? Pretty much. You ask questions. Oh my God. Go ahead. Now, you're at some event. Yeah, I forget what it was. That is so specific. Yes. I remember it. No, no, really, I remember it now like it was fucking yesterday. I think you were wearing a tie. Yes, anyway, yes, that now is a down. But you said someone came up to you. Yeah. And I think asked for an autograph. And yes, and you didn't want to give them an autograph because then it would create a mob thing of everything. Yes, yes. And then the guy told you that he was a prisoner of war. Do you remember this? I'll tell you where I met a prisoner of war was I met one of the men. His first name. Excuse me. His first name was Terry. And at the first inaugural for Bill Clinton, I met one of the men who was held in Iran for over 400 days. And not only did I give him my autograph, but I had my picture taken with him that I still have on my wall as a reminder of the human spirit to this day in my office. But I heard you said you're going to try and make a negative out of it. No, no, no, I just... You're going to try and put me down. I said I was so respectful to this man who had a bag over his head for 400 days. Who didn't have a mattress. You're going to make something crap out of this. I just wanted to title this episode, Henry Winkler hates veterans. No, no, I heard I am so deeply appreciative as you know when I meet veterans, no matter where and these young men and women who walk through the airports when I'm traveling and want to take a picture with me. I just feel so honored. Well, the story I'd heard is he was a prisoner of war and he told you that he and the other prisoners of war were like, I think they were like acting out happy days at the same time. That was this gentleman from Iran. He was an American and they were... You know, during the Carter administration, into the Reagan administration, they were... As a matter of fact, that incident started nightline. Ted Koppel came on and for every day they were captured, gave us an update of what was going on and that started the program nightline. And those men and I believe there were women too, it was unbelievable to me, unbelievable that this guy had the backbone, the wherewithal, the fortitude, the spirit of living to survive that. And it's unbelievable to me that Gilbert actually had his facts straight. You know what? I always trust Gigi. Henry, let's talk a little bit about the movies. You know, I call him Gigi and that's actually how the title of the movie came about. I was yelling across the lot at MGM. I said, Gigi! And they went, oh my god, a musical! Good trivia. Let's talk about one of my favorite movies that you're in, The One and Only, written by... Ah, The One and Only. Written by the great Steve Gordon, the late great Steve Gordon. Do you know that I read that script and it made me weep? Because not only was it funny, but he understood the human condition so well that it was really a dramedy. And we made, I was directed by the great Carl Reiner. And we made a comedy and a lot of that emotion that I saw, that I understood, that made my hair stand. That made my hair stand up on the back of my neck with left out. But I learned to wrestle at night and we shot during the day. So as soon as we finished our day of shooting, I would go and wrestle with Jean LaBelle, who was a professional wrestler and teacher. And was your character loosely based on Gorgeous George? Yes, it was. Yes, it was. And I used to watch that when I was younger and I used to watch all those guys, Haystacks, Calhoun. Oh, sure. Bruno San Martino. Oh my God, I met Bruno. I met Bruno. And the only other Bruno that I adore is Bruno Mars. What about Bruno Murphy? He's never wrestled. Was it a tough part because you kind of played a Schmendrich? Was it a difficult part? No, because you know why I'm closer to the Schmendrich than I am to anything else. No, really, it's just the truth and I can't hide it. I am very Schmini. And we should point out that it was written by the late Steve Gordon who wrote and directed Arthur. Yes, he was just an amazing talent. He had a bad heart and never stopped eating three or four cheeseburgers at a sitting. Wow. And eventually it just killed him. And speaking of a great Schmendrich part, was Night Shift. One of my favorite movies, Honest to God, I think it still holds up. Ronnie said to me, Ron, I should call him Ronnie's an adult. Ronnie said to me, hey, Ron Howard was going to direct his first major studio. He had done TV films. He had done Roger Corman movies. And now he was going to do his first. This was his dream to direct, to be a director, which I think he accomplished. I'm not sure. No, it's a fun thing. And he said to me, oh, you can play either part. And I thought, oh, no kidding. Okay. So Billy Blaze was kind of like the Fonz. So I think I'm going to choose Chuck in the movie, Chuck Lemley, who is like Richie. I think I'll play Richie. And he said, okay. And then we went about casting the other part. Met every young actor in Hollywood. He asked me to be part of the casting process to read with the other character. I did. It was my honor. And one of the last people to come in the room after days, days and days, Michael Keaton, within 30 seconds of opening his mouth, Ron looked at me, smiled, nodded, and that was that. You just stopped your audition and started filming. And I had heard when Ron Howard said he wanted to be a director. You said to him, because you had so much faith in him, that if he wanted to be a brain surgeon, you would be his first patient. And that's honest to the truth. We were standing backstage waiting to make an entrance on happy days. And he said to me, he said, you know, I really want to be a director. What do you think? I said, Ron, I know in my heart, if you decided to be a brain surgeon, I would be online to be your first patient. Because this kid, he was 10 years younger than I am. So I'm now 27 when I get the part. I meet him. He's 18, just 18. And we worked together for seven years before he went on to direct full time. And he is the wisest, most together guy I think I've ever met in my life. And is it so strange that when they talk about child stars, and most of them wind up like, you know, junkies or criminals, Right. And Ron Howard turned out, well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, his dad, his mom and his dad, both actors. Rant Howard. Were the first people who left the farm in Oklahoma. They drove to New York and Rantz was in plays on Broadway. I don't know about Gene, his mom, but I know that Rantz was Mr. Roberts. As a matter of fact, I think he was in Mr. Roberts on Broadway. They then decide to drive across the country to see if they can be in the movies. They do. They have two boys. And they never let the boys misbehave. They never let the boys think that they were more important than the job. And it is that family dynamic, that family strength that kept both Ron and Clint, you know, just from falling off the dark edge. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast, but first a word from our sponsor. And in Night Shift, I know like there's online, they say there is, they show one scene from Night Shift on the Internet. Where they say the scene that made Night Shift great. And it was the scene of you explaining to Shelley Long how you always had the hots for her the minute you met her. Right. Were we in the bathtub? Yeah, right before the bathtub. You're in the kitchen and you're freezing. Oh, and then she stands up on a chair in order to get something out of the cabinet. She's only in panties. Yeah. And then later on, she says you're decent because you got a tombstone for your father. And she said you're decent. You did this whole monologue about how you finally revealed to her how you felt about her all this time. Wow, I didn't know that. Yeah. Well, I know your movies. Well, I think you're slipping, Henry. No, no, no. Listen, I'm just proud that I remember I was in it. But I do not remember. I do not remember that monologue. Interesting. Yeah, because you were saying the first time I saw you, my eyes had heart attacks. Yeah. Well, you know what that is. That's the two men wrote Night Shift. They are gods to the comedy world. Lohgans and Bob Loh Mandel. I once worked in the very first thing I ever filmed was a pilot written by Lohgans and Bob Loh Mandel. And this was a piece of shit. Yeah. Well, they hadn't met their stride yet. Maybe because they ran a happy day. Lohgans ran happy days, I think for about seven years. And if I had a problem and I would say to him on Wednesday night, you know, I this this whole moment doesn't work. I don't know how to get there. I can't make it come alive. Thursday morning, there would be a rewrite. That was like it fell from heaven. And that was Lohlan his team. We should point out they wrote many other wonderful things like Parenthood. Oh, city slickers and city slickers and I believe the screenplay for Splash. Did they not splash? Yeah. Oh, I mean, it just goes on and on and on. Now, do you have any? I heard Laverne and Shirley were a nightmare. No, that's not true. No, they started as a guest couple on our show. I dated one and Richie dated Shirley. I dated Laverne. And the girls were so incredible together. You know, one of the great acting partners of my life was Ron Howard. We could do a three page scene. We could memorize it, improvise it and shoot it in 20 minutes three times. And these young ladies, they were so connected in their humor and so ying and yang. They were so the opposite of each other. And then they went on to do their own show and they each had an opinion that it's true. But what came out was some of the best slapstick comedy since Lucy. Honest to God. Great physical comedians, both of them. Great physical comedians and they work together like bread and butter. Now, you also worked with someone. It's funny. I will tell you that the Laverne and Shirley set was right next door. Their soundstage was right next door to our soundstage 19 on Paramount Lot. And during the summer, we would suffer because somehow Laverne and Shirley got all the air conditioning. Honest to God, you would have to wear a parka when you went on their set. And we literally rehearsed in bathing suits on ours. Now, you worked in a movie with Catherine Hepburn. Yes. That was one Christmas. It was a short story on Novella by Capote. And it was an amazing experience. Now, the real truth is that at that time, Catherine's memory was going and her ability was a little less than up to snuff. But for the most part, she was the dynamic, powerful woman we had come to know in the movies on the stage. And I would do scenes with her. Sometimes I would have to hold up the lines in front of my face for her. And I would act up and over the cardboard. And sometimes she was right there. And my knees went to jelly. Because all I kept thinking about there's that voice. There is that woman that I adore. And it was really a great experience. We did it in Wilmington, North Carolina. Well, you're pinching. Go ahead, Gilmer. Oh, one of the weird jobs that I had when I was struggling to make it as a comic was working the concessions in the Broadway theaters. No kidding. And one of the plays was called A Matter of Gravity with Catherine Hepburn and Chris Reeves. Totally unknown Chris Reeves. And Hepburn would come before the show and talk to us all the time. Wow. That says a lot about who she is. Who she was. Was it a constant kind of pinch me moment, Henry, where you're just a kid from the Upper West Side. You've got a reading disability. You decide you will yourself to be an actor. And a couple of years later, here you are with Catherine Hepburn. I'm telling you that I live by two words, tenacity and gratitude. Tenacity gets you where you want to go. And the gratitude doesn't allow you to be angry along the journey. And to appreciate, to be in the moment. You know how they always say, very Eastern, but live in the moment. Don't look in front of you. Don't look behind you. Be present. Be present. I want to say that there is a lot of validity to finally getting there. To live in that moment so that you appreciate what you are looking at in front of you. Who you're talking to on the phone. What show you're watching. What movie you're at. What Rose is on the vine right directly in front of your eyes. I'm telling you, it is so simple and so fulfilling and powerful at the same time as a way to live. Well, I have to pay you a compliment if you'll allow me. When you visited us at the Joy Behar show, the entire staff and Joy and everybody talked for days about how you made eye contact with everybody, how you asked everybody's name, how you were basically the most present celebrity we'd ever had on the show. Oh, wow. That makes me feel great. Out of four or five hundred shows. I mean, it was palpable. We talked about it for quite a while. Mo, thanks for letting me know. See, here's the difference between you and me. I'm still having arguments with people that I was angry at when I was five. You know what? You just give me right down a list of names. I'll go visit them. See, I think some of them might be dead. You know what? I'll find them. And Henry, after happy days, you got into producing. Well, I got into producing as a matter of need. You know, the worst thing happened. I, since I was, let's say, seven years old, wanted to be an actor. And I knew what I wanted. And I woke up every morning with that in mind, and it burned me. It burned my skin with desire. And I'm so not joking, I can't even begin to tell you. So now from seven until 1983, I'm eating through brick. I'm living my dream. I'm focused. I'm directed. And then happy days is over. And I literally forgot about what next. I didn't have a plan B. I didn't have a plan C. And I sat in my office at Paramount, and I was almost so inert, so empty, so having no idea what to do. And I want to tell you, if you don't know what you want, it is painful. It is psychically painful. And I sat in my office. I sat in my chair. I was smart enough to think, okay, I don't know what's coming next. Don't force the issue. Don't do anything. Just sit here. And my lawyer, Skip Britton Ham III, said, you know what, you'll produce. I said, I have no idea how to produce. Not only that, I'm dyslexic. I'm stupid. I don't know anything about business. He said, you'll learn. And that's when I started to produce. And then the honest truth is, in a job I wasn't particularly fond of, if you put all of the episodes back to back, I've produced 19 years of on-air television. Wow. That's a lot of material. How did MacGyver come about? Tony Jonas, who went on to run our company and then went on to run, I think Warner Brothers, came to us and said, I have an idea about a fix-it man. He's a shortcut man. The guy, when the police, they don't come, when the fire people don't come, when the FBI doesn't come, you call MacGyver. And he will take care of it. And we took it to ABC. We took it to ABC. And I sold it in the room with my partner at the time, John Rich, who was a very good comedy director. Now, I... Oh. Yeah. No, no, no, that's it. No, no, I heard that John Rich said, because you're such a supportive person, that during the auditions, you would go up to every actor and go, that was wonderful. That was a great performance. Thank you. Thank you. And finally, John Rich said to you, stop saying that. You built up their hopes for nothing. Yeah, but, you know, that was him. And I knew what it was like to be in that room. And I didn't always say to them, oh, that was the best performance ever. What I said was, you know what? Thank you so much for being here. We really appreciate that you came in and thank you for what you gave us. That's what I really said. And I knew what it was like to be an audition. Oh, it's horrible. It's horrible. It is your nerves, your fear. The other people, you know, they are sometimes cold as ice. You pick that up and it drives you deeper into your hole. And if you're going to find somebody, if I need to find an actor, why not be supportive and make that human being man or woman or child feel comfortable in the room and let them give us their best? And then you find what you need. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? Because with auditions, you do go in there and then when you leave, you feel totally worthless. Yeah, I do it still. I sit in those rooms. I sit in those chairs against the wall waiting to go in to meet the director and the producer and the casting people. You know, because if you want a job, sometimes they don't trust, they want to see what you look like. They want to see you can still do it. The executives are young. They don't trust just because you were a star once, doesn't mean you can do it again. I sat in those chairs. I went in. I was petrified, but I wanted the job. So I pushed myself and blurted out whatever came into my imagination. And Henry, imitation being the sincerest former flattery, when you first saw McGroober on Saturday Night Live, did you laugh? I did. I absolutely did. And you know what? I still laugh when I see the reruns. And Will Fort is a good acquaintance of mine and it is so much fun to watch that. Do you know? It was a fun show, McGiver. I think on McGiver, the actor who played McGiver's boss. Yes. I think I had heard that he had gone blind. He was going blind. He had a progressively disintegrating condition in his eye. But he was so incredible that until he could no longer work, he was very much a part of our family. Yes. So when he was already blind, you were still using him? Yes, that's right. That's exactly right. The actor, the greatness of the actor, didn't go anywhere. And what was his name again? Was it Dana Elkar? Exactly. Mr. Elkar was just an amazing guy. We had a wonderful bunch of people. And Richard Dean Anderson, you could not have asked for a more cooperative cheerleader. Let's go get him star if you paid somebody. We did pay him. It was a fun show. Henry, tell us how Arrested Development... We did 144 episodes. Of McGiver. It was great. Tell us how Arrested Development came into your life. I got a call to do an episode for Arrested Development. And Jeff Tambor and Will Arnett and Jason Bateman and Portia, everybody was there. And I went. I got out of my car. And the first person I met was Michael Sarah, who was 15 at the time with his mom, his beautiful mom from Canada. I love it. And I shook hands with Michael and I thought to myself, okay, I've just met a kid who will be able to do anything he wants to do in this business. You know how you know that it just comes off people like a volcano? Sure. And then I stayed for four years playing a lawyer who has no idea what his sexuality is. Barry Suckercorn. Did you base the character on anyone? No, I didn't. In that case, you have a creator like Mitch Hurwitz and you just listen. You know, you have lib. You go. You try. Sometimes he laughs. Sometimes it's in. But if he says, no, no, no, no, no. Say this. Try this now, John. Go do this now. And you just do it. You don't question. Now you worked with one of my favorite comedians, Alan King. I directed Alan King in a movie. We started, it was in 1988. Maybe it was earlier. 1986. I don't remember. Whatever the stock market crashed. It was that morning. 1987, our recent team tells us. I had an actor on my hand who could not concentrate because he was watching his money fall into dust. Wow. But I think he gave one of the best performances he's ever done. It's called Memories of Me. It was written by Eric Roth and Billy Crystal. It starred Billy Crystal and Alan King as a father and son. And I think it still holds up. And Alan King's character is a lifelong movie extra. Yes. And he is the king of the extras. He is in charge. He is the mayor of all the extras in Hollywood. And his son is a surgeon and they are estranged. And they come back together to try and piece their relationship back together. Just before tragedy strikes. That's a good film. Thanks. And Alan King gives a good performance. Oh my god. For a guy who wasn't an actor really. I mean he's in the Sydney Lumet picture. Just tell me what you want. With Ali McGraw. But he wasn't really known as an actor. No. And he really worked hard. I only had one argument with him in that movie. He went for an audition in the movie. So he was going to get his first speaking part. He was going for his first lines instead of being just background. And he wanted to wear what Alan King would have worn to the audition. Love that. And he came in a blue blazer with a silk scarf coming out of the square pocket. And a tie. And he was to the nines. And I said Alan we cannot do the scene with you dressed like that. Those clothes are not in your character's closet. You don't have the money as an extra to wear Gucci like that. And it took me 20 minutes of respectful dialogue of conversing with him. To get him into the costume that the designer had picked for him. And then he went to audition. And that scene is I think golden. You know I just realized something that I guess to produce Hollywood squares you have to be dyslexic. Because I heard Whoopi Goldberg said she was also dyslexic. And she was the center square for many, many years. And then there was a sea change. They made a change. And they brought Michael Levitt and me in. And I'm telling you those were two of my happiest years as a producer. Because if you got the chemistry right. And the chemistry was Claudia Kagan was the one who had a Rolodex the size of an apartment building. And she was the casting for the head of casting. And if we got those nine squares right. I'm telling you I had to bring a change of underwear. I had so much fun doing Hollywood squares. And there again, you know I don't mean to cut you off. But there again all I'm thinking about is all of these great wonderful eclectic personalities and stars. Comics and actors and you name it are all giving up their weekend to come sit in this hot set in this three-story structure. And you have to be respectful and care for these wonderful people giving us their time like that to make the show go. I remember that was one of those jobs where I didn't feel like I was working. Yes, right. Right. I never worked on this. We didn't either. It didn't feel like a job. It just felt like we laughed from the time we rolled until the time we said cut and went home. And our mutual friend Dave Boone was a writer on that show. Dave Boone now writes every bit of special material. He does. He does. But let me tell you his job. Funny guy. He had several writers under him. He and Jay Reddick were the head writers. And they wrote except for people like Gilbert who just wrote whatever came out of his mouth. Or these guys wrote the answers or the comic answers for all of the other stars. You know and what a Herculean task that was. I'm sure. They were terrific writers on that show. And I've had the pleasure of working with Michael on the TV Land Awards. Could not be a nicer guy. Well and also I always say about him that he is like Mount Fasuvius in the ideas that sprout out of his head at any given moment. And one more question. You worked with Tim Conway and Carol Burnett. I never worked with Carol. Carol I met at Emerson College when she came and she gave $10,000 for a student scholarship. And I said hi. My name is Henry Winkler. And I'm thinking I'm here you know studying to be an actor. And she said keep your name. It sounds great. But Tim Conway I directed when I did several episodes of Clueless. The TV show and he played the shop teacher. And all I did was say Tim tell me what you need in way of props. And all I did was point the camera wherever he was. Because now that guy is so funny. And then I did a show, a pilot for a television show where we traveled across the United States with Tim Conway. It was called Tim Conway's Funny America. And Tim would dress up in costume and disguise himself and would interact with people in Seattle. People in Pacoima. People in Indianapolis. And we would just go from city to city and then film it. And it was pretty funny. I have to tell you I just had a flashback. There's a silent movie I think with Jackie Coogan. That it's called The Ragman. And if you ever see this there's one part it's supposed to be an old Jewish man who was cheated by his partner. And then later on in the movie he gets a letter from his partner going, I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I could barely live with myself. Sincerely, Henry Winkler. Oh no kidding. Yeah, so you'll have to see that. That is some trivia. The Ragman. Oh my God. I mean they just out of the blue used a name that happened to be mine. Yeah, I love it. And this was way before I was on television. Yeah. And speaking of the Winkler name real quick, Henry, we'll wrap it up. Your son Max is a director. My son Max is a wonderful director. Truly, truly, truly. Not because he's my son, but because he is. He just is great. He's wise. I've worked with him in every student film he had me in it. And of course as soon as he started directing professionally, I have never been asked again. He does so many episodes of The New Girl. You haven't been on The New Girl? No, and he did Brooklyn 99. The New Normal. He directed a wonderful movie with, well, the next time we do the show, I'll tell you who he did the movie with. And my son's name is Max. Oh, really? Yeah. You know how I came up with that? I swear to you, I, Stacey was pregnant and I heard somebody say, Get me Max Winkler on the phone. And that was it. Oh, but now he's got his own company. Yeah, it's really wonderful. Okay. Now, Henry. Okay, so what we've learned today is that you hate the veterans. I don't hate the veterans. And you think that you've said out loud that you think Pinky Tuscadero's a cunt. I never said the word whatever you said. I said she was not, she was not my favorite person on the earth. In other words, a cunt. In other words, I'm not my favorite person in the world. We'll cut this part out. I don't use that word often. Before we go, anything else you want to plug? You're still doing the Hank Zipzer books. The Hank Zipzer books, now we have a new series. The Hank Zipzer books, there are 18 of them. A new one just came out two fries ago, a new Hank Zipzer. There are 18 of them. They are from third grade, fourth grade, and fifth grade. Now we have Here's Hank, which is Hank Zipzer in the second grade. And they are brand new readers. So for reluctant readers, for kids who are just starting to read, they are comedies that happen to be about how much trouble I had in school. Here's Hank. So these are old books that make people with dyslexia realize they're not alone. You know, I'll tell you something that you said that is so interesting, because one of the things that children write to us about from all over the world, the one comment is, first of all, I laugh so hard my funny bone fell out of my body. And second of all, how did you know me so well? Wow. And that is a great compliment. And the other thing is, you know, the lesson that I've learned is don't give up. I couldn't sell the book Hank Zipzer to television in America. Lynn Oliver, my wonderful partner, and I tried over and over again. I never stopped talking about it. And now they are. It's a wonderful show on the BBC in England. Well, Henry perseverance. I say again, I never liked you. But you know what? I'm so glad that you finally talked to me on the radio. You know, now, now, don't you like me a little better now? No, no, no, you didn't answer the question. Yes, yes. Don't laugh about it. Just aren't I just wonderful now that you know me on the radio? Yes, you are, Henry. Thank you. Thank you. Henry, I have to say as somebody who's been in the business over 20 years, you say that to this day that you remain overwhelmed, that you got to live your dream is inspiring. Yeah, it's really true. Even to a senator like myself. Yeah, yeah, it's true. And can I just say to everybody who is listening, except for Gilbert, leave them out of it. I hope you have the most wonderful holiday possible. Thanks, Henry. And you want me to have a miserable holiday? I don't care what you have. I'm not kidding. You can suck an egg, you know? I hope they're out of turkeys when you go to buy one. Well, Fonzie just told me to suck an egg. Okay, Henry, this has been so much fun. Yeah, me too. Me too. Thank you and truly, truly, truly have a wonderful rest of 2014. Oh, you too. You too, guys. Bye. This has been great.