EP 61: United States of America’s Mrs. Texas Elaine Mingus

Disclaimer. At Two Addicts in the Moron, we discuss personal stories of addiction with the intention of being educational, relatable, and inspirational. The views and experiences shared are those of individuals involved are not meant to glorify or condone any illegal or harmful behavior. This content is for educational purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, we strongly encourage you seek help from a qualified professional or support service. And we are back to another episode of Two Addicts in the Moron. Holy crap. We brought a pageant lady with us today. Miss Elaine, everybody. Hello, Miss Elaine. Hello, how are you? I'm doing well. Thank you. Thank you for coming on. Yeah, absolutely. How in the world do we keep getting these pageant people to keep coming on here? We are a special group of people. Yeah, tighten it. Tighten it. That is true. We are tight knit. So you were a Miss Texas. So I am the official title that is United States of America's Mrs. Texas or USOA Mrs. Texas. I am currently and I'm actually 20, 25, and I am competing and 17 days. I fly out of Austin to Las Vegas in 14 days. Nice. And what is that going to be for the title? That is for the national title of United States of America's Mrs. Well, you please do me a favor when you win that because you're going to win. We don't have losers on two addicts in the moron. Okay. But when you win that, please drop two addicts in the moron over there. Like in your speech. Absolutely. When you're crying. I did it on social media already on my Glenda. Yeah. Man, that would be awesome. Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you again for coming on and dressing the part. I feel way under. I always feel underdressed like anywhere I go because this is kind of what I wear all the time, but I feel like I should be wearing a tuxedo right now. Yes. I'm very offended that you're not wearing a tuxedo. I actually am underdressed myself. Usually it's rhinestones and sequins. Man. And I'm sorry. Just you weren't that special, I guess. No. On the other end of this, Mike wore his best muscle shirt for you today. I love it. Mike always puts on his best for two addicts in a moron. That's awesome. That's awesome. I actually have two looks. I have pageant and I have homeless and you will never recognize me when I'm in homeless mode. Like someone actually mistook me for a boy at church one time. Oh, no. But you know, it's okay. And go undercover. So tell me a little bit about your journey. You struggled in addiction. Yep. How long did you struggle in addiction? So I was an addict between, from 15 onward to 19. Okay. And what was the DOC? So I, where I ended up was heroin. Whoa. And so of course it didn't start out that way. Sure. It started out with smoking cigarettes and hot and drinking alcohol. Uh-huh. But it escalated pretty quick because of some of the things that had happened in my past. Wow. Wow. So dive into that 15 years old. Yeah. Starting in. So let me fast forward by rewinding a little bit here, but when did you start doing pageantry? Two years ago. Oh, whoa. So this is new and you're killing it. Yeah. I'm trying to. I'm trying to do something here. Oh man. That's, that's amazing. Yeah. How long have you been sober? So I am 44 now. Okay. And it, I, since I was 19. Okay. All right. Well, we'll talk a little bit about how it started for you. So when I was 13 years old, I, well, let me back up. My dad moved us from a big town and from Houston to a small town thinking that it would keep us kind of out of trouble because big bad city, small little quaint town. Problem is, is that there wasn't a lot to do and small little quaint town except for church. So we did what every good red-blooded Texan Christian does and we went to the church and got involved in the youth group. But what my dad probably could have never realized was that the real hidden danger was me being groomed by a youth pastor, not only me, but multiple girls in the youth pastor group were groomed. And when it was found out that I was being abused, my mom immediately went to the church staff, walked into the pastor, the main pastor's office and he said, I already know what happens. He came and confessed. We believe that she seduced him. Whoa. I am 13 years old at this point. I have been playing Barbies with my sister. I'm watching Muppet Babies, maybe a sneaking a little bit of ghost when my dad wasn't looking because it was rated R. Yeah. Like I was, me, the whole idea that I would have was initiating it is just crazy. But it took me a long time to realize how crazy it was. And it wasn't until honestly, when I started in pageantry that I started really realizing that was really, that wasn't my fault. So I took all of that blame because immediately when he said it, you know, it's not grooming is one of those things that was not talked about in the nineties. It didn't grooming was dog grooming. Like that's all we knew. And so it wasn't like you didn't, it wasn't like the movies. You weren't thrown up against the wall and you know, closed horn off. It felt consensual on my part. And for years, I said, you know, well, yeah, consensual until recently me and my husband went into therapy and my therapist was like, Elaine, I'm going to have to stop you. You've got to stop saying that. There's no way that a 13 year old girl can consent to a grown man who was in a position of authority and has used his position of authority to take advantage of not only me, but multiple people. And in fact, 10 years after what happened to me happened, he was convicted of his first offense. He had gotten a job as a high school volleyball coach at a Christian academy. And you know, it just, there was a little bit of freedom when I found that out because I realized, okay, he obviously like, it's not just like, it wasn't just then it's still going on. And this is recently, like, I mean, you're saying like pageantry kind of helped you work through this a little bit. Yeah. So I was, so it was 13. You carried it for a long time. Yeah. I was 13 when it happened. I found out that he was convicted when I was about 23. I was having my first baby. And so I tried to go to the police because I want, I was like, this, that's not fair. It's his first offense. Like it's not. Yeah. Took all my, like I had my diary, went to the police in the small town, gave them names of witnesses that and other girls that it had happened to them. They essentially came back and told me that no one wanted to testify about it or talk about it because they were still living in the small town. And then they were having problems pursuing the case because the family was so influential in the town. And at that point I was, you know, you're 23. You, you, you don't really know what's available. Any kind of resources. Now I know of all the resources. I work with the national organization called Rain Rape, Rape Abuse Incest National Network. And we actually just went to DC to talk about removing statue of limitations and, and getting more funding for the resources that they offer for sexually, you know, violated people. And it, you know, I didn't, it, but it wasn't until pageantry really where I started finding my voice and speaking out and realizing how the power and speaking out against it. And the average age of disclosure for sexual abuse is 52. Wow. It takes almost everybody, obviously, a long time to work through abuse. And you know, this is why, you know, statue of limitations shouldn't exist because sometimes it doesn't, it's over 10 years. If, you know, or some, some states have a four year statue of limitations, especially if you're an adult, like it's a lot of states have no statute for children. But if you've been raped at 18, you only have four, four years, 10 years to report. I mean, you haven't even worked through your own stuff. Then go through a whole court case or something like that. I mean, that's a lot. So name, name this organization again. Rain, it's a rape abuse incest national network. And they are the number one group that fights against sexual violence. They are also federally recognized. The, from what I understand, there used to be like a 1-800 number you could call if you were, if you were experiencing that and rain took it over. So now they're federally funded and, you know, they offer so many resources. They could give advice. They could have given me advice at 23. They could have said, that is not okay that those, that, you know, police office, sort of said that to you. And here's, here's a, you know, somebody can contact legally or here's some stuff that you can do just to work through some of this stuff. And I'm so glad to be involved with them. I'm so glad that they offer, you know, the stories that I heard on, because we went to a six different Senate offices to talk about, put a face to the name, to the bill. And you know, that's the one thing that I really would love to make sure people know is that you literally can write an email and go to your state senator or your national senator and have a conversation and say, this happened to me, the bill that is going through right now, I'm the face of this bill. And that's, that is your, like, I mean, really kind of our job as citizens is to make sure that the people up top are really doing what's best for us down here. Well that's what their job is too. Like they're supposed to be out of beckoning call, you know, you're supposed to be able to just reach out to them or show up at their office. They have offices all around here. You show up and I need to speak to this person. Yeah. And I mean, you know, there's, there's nothing wrong with also speaking to an aide there. I mean, you might not get the senator, but those aides, those are some super important people. They're the ones that are collecting everything and disseminating the information to the people, the legislators and they're, you know, that's just as good honestly. And sometimes you might have their attention a little bit more and they'll listen to the details and really be able to drive stuff home. Well, that's in, I mean, incredible in the worst way. In the worst way. Like, right. I mean, that's, that's crazy that not only that, that just the, the act in and of itself happened to you and I'm sorry for that, but the fact that you held that for that long thinking that you played a role in that because of, I mean, you were a child and you can, children are easily, I can tell my, he's 16. I can tell my son that the sky's green. He's dumb. He's not going to know. Yeah. If you explain it, if you explain it in a way that sounds like, you know what you're talking about, micro particles, you know, I'm just kidding. My son's not really dumb. I just made a joke at his expense. I mean, really? Anybody, all of us are, you know, can be, can be. You know, I mean, really? Yeah. I can be sold for sure. Yeah. I mean, there's no doubt about it, but that is wild. I mean, and I sold it to myself, you know, no one, I mean, other than that, what the pastor said, and I, all of that just, I just put it in because the moment that we walked out of the church, my mom said, we're going to go to the police. And I said, mama, like, no, like this town is too small. And what considering what he had said, like I'd already internalize it within the time that I went from the church office to the four year, you know, out in the breezeway of the church, I'd already been groomed to, like being groomed to think a certain way probably, you know, left you. And, and so all, I just turned it, I turned all that blame inward. And I mean, it just, it ate me alive. Well, that's really important for you to go out and talk about that because there's a lot of women and a lot of girls that feel like it was my fault. My fiance went through it. And for the longest time, she felt like it was her fault, like she did something wrong, especially when her family didn't believe her that it happened. And that's the most important thing is when someone comes and tells you, at least your mom believed you, right? And, you know, that's something that back then it wasn't really talked about so much. Like you've seen it on Catholic churches, right? And, but it was normally boys, not so much women. And that's something that I'm glad that you are using your platform to go and speak about that because there's so many in the rooms that I go to, I would probably say 90% of women have had something done to them in their life. And even the men, a lot of men have too, like when they were boys. Yeah. And that's something that that needs to be talked about. That's something that needs to be in, especially when you stuff it down for so long thinking it was my fault, my fault, my fault. And then you realize, holy shit, it's not my fault. This is an important thing to say for people to hear. So important. It's so it's important that you're telling the story and it's great that you're using your platform, but I'll just tell you right now that I'm honored that you're using ours to do that. I mean, that's the whole reason I started this journey through pageantry, because I knew I had a story to share and I knew it needed to be said. You know, I always say that my one goal in life is to bring light to the darkness and set the captives free. And I don't care if that's spiritually, I don't care if that's, you know, in your mental, you know, with abuse, anything like that. Like all of it is good when we come to the light, like so much healing and that our words and telling our stories, the confession is what brings healing and talking about it. And then sharing the story, not only creates dopamine and oxytocin and all the things that are actually healing hormones in your own brain, the listener also gets those same, you know, hormones. And so it's just good all around to share your story and to hear other people's stories. Well, we, Steven came on and I mean, he said one of the most impactful things on here, I think to date, but he, he had dealt with a lot of stuff like that. I mean, he lived a rough life and he said that when I tell people what happened to me, it's like metals that you receive from the military. He's like, if you go in military, you get a metal for Purple Heart or, you know, a Medal of Honor or all these things. He's like, when you wear them outside, you're taking the power that it held over you away, right? And just having him explain it that way really made me evaluate some of, some of me too, right? Like some of the things that I might keep in that aren't nearly as crazy as that or what he dealt with. But, but yeah, you're just wearing your metals out there now. I mean, you, you definitely are. So I mean, good for you. Yeah. Well, I don't want to live in a world. I have seven children. And so I don't want to. Seven? Hold on. Wait. Seven. Seven. Okay. Do you know all their names? I some, no. Do you get them confused? I do. And then it makes me really mad. My mom has four and I've been called Doreen, Janine, Ricky, my whole life. Yeah. And so especially when she gets mad, it's like Ricky, Janine, Michael. And then I find that like I'm the older I get, like words don't come as fast either. And I'm like, that's a whole lot of kids. That's one. I mean, yeah, it's a lot of kids, but that's a whole lot of chaos. It is absolute chaos. It is, you know, they say that cleaning a house when you have kids is like brushing your teeth when you're eating Oreos. Basically how it is. That's a, you know, I complain about having two. Two is hard too. They're all hard. Yeah. Because, you know, I, you got the one, you got your Prada Purse. Like, oh, I have a kid, one kid. It's cute. Yeah. But they can be, you know, having one has its own things because they don't have playmates and then, you know, but then two, like you're like, I have to entertain you and you. And then I mean, just there's every single stage I've been through. It is hard. What's the youngest and what's the oldest? So me and my husband have been married for 22 years and my oldest daughter just turned 21 and our youngest is seven. Oh man. And we homeschooled them for 15 years and then all of them, all of them. And then at some point about last year, we were like, this is too much. And so we sent the first two graduated from homeschool and then we sent the 10th grader on down to a charter school. And it is, honestly, it's been a great for them. It's been great for me. It allows me to do stuff like this more often and travel and share my story. And they get a nice good education. They're around wonderful people. And I get, I get eight hours a day where I don't have to, I don't have to, I don't have to forget their names because I'm yelling at them so much. Well, God bless your husband because like for letting him come, letting you come here and just leaving him inside of that chaos operating alone. He's actually not even home. He's still at work. My kids are just feral in the house right now. You got like built in babysitters. In house babysitters on a regular basis. I will go home and I will pay for it. Oh yeah. Well, you're welcome audience. Like you're welcome. All right. So, um, so about 15. So this happens to you. Obviously you're carrying around a heavy burden at this point and. Looking to probably change the way that you feel. Yeah. And you start doing that around 15. Well, so it started the changing the way I feel, trying to figure out a way to deal with, I call them coping mechanisms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I started with an eating disorder. So as soon as I pretty quickly after that happened, I started engaging in an eating disorder and, you know, that made me feel like I was in control. That made me feel like I, you know, I was kind of. A chunky kid and so I was getting really thin. I was getting all these compliments. And so I just, you know, that was awesome. And then of course at some point that it doesn't, it's not enough. You've got to add, you got to keep adding the layers on top to cover up the hurt and the guilt and the scars. Yeah. And so when I was 15, you know, I started, you know, drinking and smoking and you know, doing, you know, partying high school stuff. Like it's all, yeah, it was all funny games. And so, and we grew up. So my parents were really well off and I was a very high at Reaper. And so no one, there's this whole time knew the depth of my addiction. And I was national honor society. I graduated in three years. I always made straight A's. I let it in. I was on the varsity team and cross country and I let it in cross country my first year. You know, I did all sorts of stuff, wrote on the high school yearbook and then wrote on the local newspaper. I mean, I was just out doing everything. And, but you know, come time, party time, you know, I was just finding one new drug after another. So it went from pot, which is always a staple. And then to LSD and to anything we could get our hands on that, you know, and then I started, we got the idea to start dealing. And so I started dealing a little, I just kind of dabbled in it. And one of my dad found a whole sheet of LSD. And I mean, laid into me and we just like, and pot, I think, and just laid into me and no, no, no, I'm making it. He found the pot. And so that was like a big wake up call for him. Like, oh my gosh, she's like, she's gone off the rails. Yeah. And, but my friend was selling LSD for me at school. And then he got caught at school with the LSD. Dropped your game. And no, he didn't. He went to Juvie for six months. Never, never ratted me out. And it, you know, I still, you know, just, just a selfishness. I mean, not meaning to be selfish, but like, I mean, people were so mad at me because of what happened to him. And I had a big group of people that were in, you know, but I mean, I just carried on, kept doing it. And then, you know, I started doing a little bit of co-care. You know, my boyfriend at the time was a drug dealer as well. And, you know, still like, you know, I don't want to paint a picture of like, we were this drug dealer, we're like living in these like trap houses. Like he was the like bartender at the country club. Like we were whining and dining with like these kind of upper echelon type people. And then, you know, at the dregs of the earth at night. And, you know, once I left home, I couldn't wait to get out of the house. I couldn't wait, you know, my, you know, me and my dad had a very tumultuous relationship. And when I went to Austin to go to UT, getting a journalism degree, I, that's when I met a friend and he introduced me to heroin. And I got that. I got that real fast. Yeah. Were you smoking, shooting? I was shooting. You were shooting it? And so I was actually recounting it the other day to my oldest daughter. And I was like, it's so funny because my son actually went and he drew blood. And I was like, I used to do that. Yeah. And it's just that moment and you're like, who was I? Yeah. Like, I mean, I'm so, so vastly different than who I was. So it just was one of those moments. So just hit me kind of square between the eyes. But yeah, I mean, and I was thinking about it, you know, it's funny how the older you get, it's like, you don't even realize that you have never thought about these things. And so I was thinking about, I was like, there was, I was doing it, you know, once, you know, once a week, two times a week, three times a week, you know, like trying to get it every day. And I luckily, the friend that I was, that I was doing it with, he had already been addicted and had gotten off of it and knew how bad it was and was trying to like, trying to hold me back. Yeah. And I was thinking, you know, but if you had given me six more months, it would, it would have been a daily thing. I mean, I was already, you know, shooting up, driving with a bag in one hand, throwing up, trying to do work, you know, to get there. And I'm like, I am so not okay. I'm, then I have to leave. You know, so it was, I mean, it was, it was going to go downhill. And I, and I just so glad that what happened, the reason why I changed happened at that point. So talk about that. What, what, well, before we get into that, was there a moment between 15 and 19 where you identified that I've got a problem here? No. No? No. I was, I'm curious about that. I'm just having a blast. I'm, you know, whatever drugs we can get our hands on, the harder, the better, the mixier, the better, you know, and I, I had no intention of stopping. Okay. Like none. I didn't, I didn't, I was happy. Yeah. I still remember it as like, that was a good time. Yeah. Yeah. Like there was never really one like, oh my gosh, that was such a bad, I mean, there's a lot of bad moments. Don't get me wrong. They were scary because, you know, being a girl in the drug community, it can put you in some really precarious situations, but, you know, I mean, okay. Yeah. And so talk about what happened to kind of get you out of this. What, what was the moment there? So I always wanted to be a writer. I always was a storyteller and I had gotten into UT with the journalism degree, you know, going for a journalism degree and I always wanted to be a writer. And so I was writing this book. It's kind of like apocalyptic, you know, very like much what I grew up when I was in the church, we learned about revelations and God's coming, you know, Jesus is coming back and all the things. And so it just, something about it was like really like kind of touching me. And I was like, you know, I probably should go get a Bible and like do some research because that's what like good, good writers do. They do research and they like map out their character development. And stuff like that. And so that's what I told myself. I had no, you know, no intention of anything else. So I dropped a hit of X drove around to find a church. I was just like, you know, if I just go to a church, they got to give me a Bible for free. I'm, I ain't paying for it. Yeah. And that day I had decided to make some sort of fashion statement, which actually comes into play later. I was wearing this giant black tutu, this like leather bodice shirt. And I had taken part of the black tool and like made a black veil and I was wearing like blood red lipstick. And so when I walk into this church, I literally look like the bride of Satan. Yeah. The middle of the day on a Tuesday afternoon at 2 p.m. Yeah. And there are two little old ladies in there and they are like, what just walked and look what the cat dragged in. And, you know, I'm like, I'm still like how I am now. Like I'm not a scary person. So I'm like, hi. Right. Look at all crazy. And, you know, I just said, you know, can I get a Bible? And they were like, you know, yeah, we can get a Bible. Yeah, you can have two. Well, so they went into the back. Like they went into the back because I guess that's where they had to go. Yeah. And together, you know, for protection, you know, let alone with this witch that just walked through the door. And, you know, I think about it. I'm like, I wonder if they sat and prayed for me back there or anything. And, but while I was there left alone in the lobby, the church doors were closed. And I was like, I wonder what the, you know, I'm kind of artsy and like beautiful Catholic, you know, like, let's see what an artsy things are inside this room. I want to see what's inside. And so I shake the doors and they're locked. And then, you know, I was like, that's weird. Like, why would you lock the church? Like God's sanctuary. Yeah. And so when they came out, I said, hey, can I get into the church? And they were like, yeah, you're going to do a seance in there? Like what's going on? And just from like the center of who I was, and I, you know, I didn't know I was going to say it. Like, I just like, I need to pray. And they were like, yeah, all right. So they opened those doors and there is this beautiful wooden crucifix of Jesus. And it's that just like the second verse of amazing grace that says the moment that my sins were revealed was the exact moment my fears were relieved. The moment that I knew I was a sinner and need of a savior was the same moment that I said, it's already done. And I just knew I was home. I have. I had questions that I didn't even know I was asking that suddenly were answered. And so from that moment, all of this is derived. Wow. And how did you end up kicking the drugs? So this is an interesting thing because I, I didn't realize how, how crazy it was. What happened until a police officer, and I told him my story. He was like, you know that you don't just kick, like kick a drug habit. Yeah, kick the heroin. Like you could just jump off. Yeah. But I did. I, it was like a light switch flipped on and you'd been in darkness for so long. And it's like, why would I, why would I go back to that darkness? Why, when I have this real, this is what I've been looking for all along. Why would I go back to have that counterfeit? Okay. And I mean, I just, I didn't, I didn't have any, any issues. And I did have issues with the other things, like getting stop smoking pot and stop smoking cigarettes and stuff like that. And there were a couple of instances during that journey that honestly strengthened my faith a lot more as we're like, and you know, as drug users, like if you found like a little box bag of cocaine, like that you had forgotten about, like you were like score, like this is the best thing ever. Yeah. So I found a bag of Coke and I was like, I have to make this decision. Like I'm going to just, I have to flush it. And then one day I'm like stepping out of my car and there is literally a bag of weed right where I step. And I was like, gotta be joking. Yeah. Like, I know you, I know you're testing my faith here, but like this is a little crazy. And so I took it and you know, fleshed it again. And each time I said, no, it strengthened me to continue to live the life that I was called to live. That's great. That's awesome. That's, I mean, a lot of people that come sit in that chair, number one, they have a hard time kicking it. There's a, there's a long process for them. But when they do, there is that spiritual awakening. That moment for them that happens that really just can't be explained, you know, and there's no other explanation for it. Yeah. And you finding it at 19, going into a church kind of as a researchy sort of like, I'm looking to do my artsy book thing and walking out of there after this thing. It's pretty incredible. Yeah. That is pretty cool. Can I ask, since that had happened to you in the church, did you hold anything against the church or against God or Jesus for that happening? I get that question a lot and the answer is no. I knew the moment that it happened that it was a person and it has nothing to do with God, you know, my parents had instilled with me, you know, that God, you know, God loves me. I knew that. Yeah. I just was like, okay, well, I'm just going to like get away from organized religion. You know, that was what I was told every year. I'm a Christian, but I'm going to get, you know, I don't do organized religion. And I had a lot of friends, especially at the end, that were the harder users that were like Christians are stupid. They actually had like posters, Christians are stupid on the thing. And, you know, like, I, you know, just, and I was just, I would always be like, why, that's a dumb, you know, maybe it's a journalist in me. I was like, that's so dumb. Like you don't have a brain that you realize that Christians and God are two different entities. Like these are people and that's like to label a whole group, you know, as evil. I mean, let's not label any group, whole group as evil based on a couple people. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's a lot like, um, like, let's just use police officers, lawyers. There are piece of shit lawyers. Yeah. And there are pieces of shit cops, but they're human beings, but there's also really good ones too. Some really good ones out there too. So to just lump everybody into the same category because of a couple of bad eggs, probably literally a couple of bad eggs is probably more good than bad. I would hope so. That's what I'm aiming. I'm hoping for. Yeah. But I mean, I agree with you on that point. So now I didn't, you know, I didn't have any animosity and it's, it's really amazing. Like, like almost like that was like this full circle moment, you know, that's good because my fiance, when she went through it, she was real big in the church. She used to sing for the church and do all the stuff for the church. And whenever she got molested, she was like, well, I did all these things for you God and you didn't protect me. You didn't protect me. And it took her until we've been together for two years, probably like four months ago, we go to church every Sunday. And it took her until about four months ago to where she told me, like, I feel it again. I feel what I used to feel when I go to church now. Yeah. So, and she knows now that wasn't his fault. It's just sometimes it's what our journey is. And it's, it's nothing, you know, if he could take it away, he would take it away. But that's not what he's supposed to do. Unfortunately, we have to go through problems. We have to go through things to get to where we're trying to go and to learn from them as long as you're able to learn from them. Some people, it pushes them down and they never come back from it. Obviously you didn't. Yeah. And to teach. But you're doing right now, you're teaching and she, his fiance came on a couple weeks ago and she did great. She told her story, but that, to me, that's kind of that full circle moment for that, right? Where you get to go. Help someone, even if it's just one. I, that's all you need. Yeah. I remember I used to grow up listening to, you know, different newscasts with my dad and I would give situations like, well, what if the president did this and what if did this? And you know, like, and he'd be like, well, that doesn't work because. And I just every single time we would go through this kind of song and dance, I would say it's, it's just one person at a time. Right. That's how you change the world. Right. One person at a time. Yeah. Brick by brick, right? Like it's not Rome wasn't built in the day. All the cliches, right? It's just, let's find, let's find one more, you know, like I'm not, I'm not in addiction or in recovery. I, my buddy was though. And it was like, I could see this guy. I could see that on the other end of it. And it's like, let's just go find another one of him. Like, you know what I mean? How many more of him are out there? If we can find one more, makes it a much better place. I mean, Jesus changed the world with 12 disciples. Yeah. We're still at it. And not the 12 best people out there. They were like, not the 12 that you would normally pick. Yeah. Any, in any way, shape or form. Yeah. I'm glad for that. Yeah. Hey, it made. It made a lot of stuff. Made a lot of stuff happen. Yeah. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. So, um, I want to talk about your transition late in life after having 4,000 kids into. Feels like it. Yeah. Into getting into pageantry, into what you're doing now. What, what was the spark there? So just like I was in high school, I mean, I've always been an overachiever and worked really hard. So when I, you know, came out of college, I had one kid, had a husband, and I didn't realize I was going to have a Vigillion kids. And so I, you know, went into marketing and advertising and worked a little bit and then came home and, you know, it was like, I think I'm going to work at home. We had had our second kid and I, you know, started blogging then. And so I was just like, I was kind of doing all the things like I'm like, homeschooling here and blogging here. I've got clients here, you know, just doing all the things. And it just never, it never really like banned out for me. And I kept thinking like, I'm ready God, like let me go and tell my story. I'm like ready to go. And I am so thankful that God kept me in a place where he was like the training ground because recently I feel like God told me like there were things I needed to teach you in private that you would have really, really regretted if I taught you while you had a stage. Okay. And so I was like, okay. And so I, you know, plowed along, but I wanted, I just, I wanted to always share my story and I tried in a thousand different ways. And finally it wasn't until I gave up. I had a blog for 10 years, had, you know, 50,000 page views. Like I had email, subscribe, all of the things. And I, but it just, you know, none of it was making money, you know, maybe, maybe a little bit, but I was working so hard and I was so burnt out. And I just said, I'm done. I'm going to turn this all off. I hate this. I, um, there was actually one real big moment that I didn't get a job. I was flown up to New York after four interviews with a really prestigious news organization and they called me right before Thanksgiving. 2019. And they said, you know, you didn't have this job. And I was crushed. And that, that was the final straw. And so January, 2020, turn off my blog. I am doing this crap. I like it's we're done. Don't ask me to tell my story again, God. And during that time, I had started, we had gone to on vacation, which left us and $10,000 of debt with seven, nine people going on a vacation. You know, we did it as frugal as possible, but it, you know, it cost us. And then coming home and we don't have extra money to throw towards a credit card now. Right. And so I had started picking up stuff on the side of the road and just selling it on Facebook marketplace. Like doll houses, you know, bikes, lamps, whatever people threw out in big trash day and started, it just really started taking off to pay off that debt. And within six months I paid off $10,000 worth of debt, just picking up trash. And then it kind of led to this whole vintage furniture thing. And the first e-commerce year we made over six figures selling vintage furniture. And it was in the middle of a pandemic. Vintage furniture that you was picking up off through. So that is the, so that was 2022 was our first e-commerce year. So we went through, we went through the pandemic like everybody, but at that point, like I was, we were making tons of money just doing that. Like I think I made, you know, $20,000, you know, just like during the pandemic type of thing. And, you know, the next year, and this was all like, you know, I'd not, I was, I was kind of unofficially doing it, right? Yeah. And during the pandemic, people were throwing stuff out on the side of the road. And because there was no goodwill open and people were redoing their house like crazy. Ben Mo was all of a sudden a thing and Facebook marketplace was blue, was blowing up. So it just was a, you know, I was at the right place at the right time. And we were just like, oh my gosh, we have so much money. Like we have never, so we were like on Medicaid and food stamps. Like we are poor, like, I mean, you know, seven kids, like it takes a lot. That's a lot. But, you know, I mean, we were, I mean, we were making $35,000 with five kids, you know, and it was, it was hard. And so us having, you know, money was like, just, oh my gosh, this is so cool. And that financial freedom is really what led me was I opened the opportunity to get into pageantry because without that, I, it would have, it would have been different. Yeah. And so I heard this, you know, kind of, you get the tapping of like, okay, hey, remember that thing you used to do? Yeah. And I would be like, I do not hear you. I'd actually like physically put my hand like this and like, like, I felt like God was telling me and I was like, I just sell vintage furniture. Like leave me alone. I'm happy. I don't have any kind of, I erased my internet presence. I don't have any internet presence. I am fine. Like I have a fake name on Facebook selling furniture, fine off the side of the road. Like I don't even need, I don't need none of this. And I, that, at that point, there was something hit me in the Bible app. There was this preacher and I just, something about him, like just like, I was like, all of a sudden, like, you know, the Holy Spirit just entered the room and I just was like, this guy. And so I started looking him up and he happened to be a speaker. He actually happened to teach speaking and he had a speaker conference the next week in Dallas. And I was like, I want to go to this, but I don't because of my, you know, my dream had been crushed of doing all this. And I was like, I'm not doing this again by myself. Like I built, I tried to build that kingdom and I ain't doing it no more. And so it's like, God, you're going to have to pay for it. Well, within two hours, I made a thousand dollars, which paid for the mid sized ticket because there's like tiers. Yeah. That one included a headshot. I don't do that. I don't need a headshot. And I went there and I met a girl and she had gotten the third tier ticket and we had met over dinner because you get to VIP dinner. And she was like, this, I got the speaker reel. Like, I don't need this because I'm not a speaker. Like, she's like, I don't even, I just signed up for this. Like, I don't know why I'm here. And so she's like, you can have it. And I had happened to be telling kind of the success story of my vintage furniture of the week before. So I had a speech prepared. Yeah. And so I went on stage and suddenly I have this like MTV style. I'm this amazing speaker. Like, I, you know, that is looking great on stage with professional cameras. And I go home and I'm like, God, what are you doing? Like, I don't need this headshot. I don't need this speaker's reel. Like, I don't want, I don't know what you're doing. And so I shove it all down. I'm not, I'm not going to deal with it anymore. And the next week I went to a women's Christian conference. And what's interesting is that night, like I was like, I don't want to go to this. And so I didn't go that night. And the girl was like, oh, well, there's a Saturday morning session. And I was like, oh, okay. And because I'm like, I mean, I'm kind of, I mean, I'm good with God when it comes to the like vintage furniture in my life. But then I mean, this whole area, like of my dream being crushed and never coming to fruition. I had sacrificed a lot having so many kids. I just was like bitter. And so I went to this conference and there's this, she was Miss America 2006. And, you know, she's older lady now and she was talking and she's, you know, like telling her story. She's so sweet. I got a college scholarship. She said, oh, I won. You know, Miss Georgia. Oh, and then I also won Miss America. And I'm thinking, oh, that's, it's so sweet for her. Like I'm extra heroin addict. I played roller derby. Like I worked 16 whole Doc Martins in school. Like I dance on the floor with God lipstick, black lipstick. Like that is pageantry is not the vibe that I'm going for. But she said something that really caught my attention. She said, I can go into places like schools where they can't preach the name of Jesus. And I can say the name of Jesus. And I was like, all right, you got my attention. Yeah. Cause that's like, I mean, since I got saved, like I just want to tell people about Jesus. I just want people to go to heaven. I just want people out of darkness. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was like, you just, but so I started looking at him. I was like, no, no, no, I'm not going to do this. The next week I go to a business conference and Mrs. universe is speaking. And I'm thinking, I have never in my life met a pageant queen. Yeah. And how, what's the, you know, with all this stuff, what's the odds that I meet two in two weeks? She tells the same story or she tells her story. And she said, you, if you have a story to tell, put on a crown and a sash and people will start paying attention. And I was like, all right, all right. But again, you, you're going to do it. And my friend of mine who has a nonprofit paid for my entry and then people just started coming out of the woodworks to send me money and support me and bring me up. I had people, I was on a trip to LA and this girl contacts me out of nowhere and she's like, I'm going to do your Botox. And I was like, Botox, I don't do Botox. Like I ate that girl. Like, I'm like vintage furniture. Like I'm like, you know, all that's around. I'm good, you know, and I was like, okay, I'll think about it. And then I mean, from knowing her, she has this mansion with a guitar shaped pool. I have a motorcycle sponsorship. Suddenly a Broadway star is coming to sing at my fundraising event. They're hanging, they're talking about hanging the motorcycles from the ceiling because they've just recently reinforced the ceiling. And I'm like, what is going on? Yeah. Like who am I? I have the $8,000 smorgasbord like Shakurie board spread on this like gigantic kitchen island that I didn't pay for. And I'm thinking I, this is the most bizarre thing I've ever experienced. And this is all just in support to get you to get me to be, and that was the Mrs. Texas America pageant. And you're, and you went into this thing kicking and screaming, basically. Yeah. And so I was just like, I mean, I was having fun too. I mean, don't get me wrong, putting on some fake eyelashes and dressing in bin Rhinestands is not, you know, might have been on my radar as the little girl. And I thought, well, surely I'm going to win this pageant. Like, I mean, it is written in the stars. Yeah. I didn't even get in the top 12. Yeah. And so like the curtains are closing and I'm thinking, you know, my, like inside is cold. Yeah. You know, like it just, all of a sudden, I'm so embarrassed. Like all my sponsors, all these things. And God was like, don't worry, I got something. I was like, okay. And so I went into another pageant and I was like, okay, I'm gonna just do this. Just do this one for fun. Like I'm going to not pretend to be pageant girl. I'm going to be just Elaine. Yeah. I'm going to say whatever I want to say. And didn't win that one either. Yeah. Did you finish higher? No, no. No. But I was finding, I was finding my voice. Right. I was finding this new identity that wasn't, cause you know, when I was blogging and stuff, it was like very Christian and it was this, it was this voice that I was finding in the world, in the secular world. Right. And I, and I didn't know, and it was all very new. It's also very safe. And yeah, it was very safe. Because you're doing it on the keyboard or whatever. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blogging is a super safe. You're not out in the public. I'm like, drawing these, you're so uncomfortable with it because now it's you up there and it's vulnerable. Yeah. Right. Like. Yeah. And I just, and I saw, you know, I'm like, okay, so I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to another one. I'm going to be a little bit more serious this time. And I got third runner up. And then a friend of mine who I had met at a different, at a women's conference and she was my sponsor for all, like two of my first pageants. And at some point she was like, I think I'm going to do this. And this looks cool. I think, you know, and you're, she was, she was kind of like starting, I got introduced her to another like group that was like a Christian group and she was kind of growing in her faith and she was watching me like I'm doing this for her. She was kind of growing in her faith and she was watching me like I'm doing this for God because I was very open about it. She's like, if you want to do it for God, like I'm going to, I want to do this. And so she, I run in that fourth pageant. She has no training. I'm her coach of anything. Yeah. Like, I mean, she's awesome girl. Don't get me wrong. And she wins. I get third runner up again. And I was like, and I honestly, at that point was, I was fine. Like I really was fine with losing because I knew every time I lost it taught me something, but there was this thing in my heart that was like, God, what? Like, where do I fit? Am I just the connector? Like, did you start me down this whole pageant path so she could win? Like, I mean, I guess that's cool, but like, I feel a little used here. Yeah, you're like, okay, I'm willing to. I mean, I'm going to say too that I'm trying to get across, you know, and like I said, my whole purpose in life was to bring light to the darkness and set the captives free. And so I'm crying in the shower, make a, all the make, it's so much, you know, running down. Yeah, yeah. Get all, you know, pre-showered and fresh. And I'm like, oh, I got to return this thing to my friend. She's down the hall. And so I go to her room, return the thing. And I'm just like, man, this is so cool. Like God has got this awesome plan for you. Like I'm so proud of you. And she looked me square in the face and she said, Elaine, God is awesome. And he's doing really great things. But did you know that you're the reason I'm following Christ today? And I thought, okay, I know what I'm doing here. Yeah. I'm sitting here chasing a crown crown. And God's like, I got something that's been there the whole time. Like you, there's an eternal crown waiting for you. That will never rust. And I was like, okay, I can do this. And so I was like, I'm just going to, I was telling people, I'm just going to become the Susan Luchia pageantry. Like I'm just going to keep running and I'm going to keep losing and people are going to come to Jesus. And I'm just going to keep, I'm like, I'm fine with this. And, and so, you know, that's kind of, I mean, but I really still wanted to win, right? Obviously. But I was just like, God, your will be done. Yeah. And so I started training for this pageant, the United States of America pageant. And it was a pageant that really had kind of been on the like radar. Like it wasn't the last pageant in line because it is amazing pageant, but it's a, it's a really good pageant. Like it's one of the, because there's different levels of like, like, Sure. Faint and not fanciness. What's the word? Um, prestige. Yeah. So this one's like up there. It's a newer pageant and, but I mean, they are doing everything right. Yeah. And it is so well run. And even from the inside, I can say it's, it's so well run. And, but it's very social media heavy, which I have had lots of experience in marketing and blogging, all the things. And so it really fit my personality. So I mean, I was, I mean, I was ready hitting the ground running. I was doing appearances. I did like 80 appearances, you know, within like a six month period before, you know, just, it was going crazy. And I went to the pageant. I felt, I felt so prepared. It felt different. I, you know, when, when, you know, you know, you know, and it's just like, I felt like I had studied for really hard chemistry tests and I walked out of that room and I was like, I used that. Yeah, I got it. And, you know, it would have been a surprise to me had I not won, you know, um, like, which kind of took a little bit of the fun in the moment. You know, I mean, you know, there was a moment. I was like, maybe I won't win. I was like, nah, like this is my time. And I won. And I was just like, okay, we're going to do like we're doing this more. And then the moment that I stepped off stage and started serving in the community, it was like, that speaking engagement after speaking engagement, you know, I'd already been doing tons of podcasts, but I was just like able to share my story with so many people, but I already had, you know, because I'd been because of all the prep that I had done because I had had, I had lost so many times. I was like, I was, I was hustling more and more getting those and honing my voice and learning my speaking points and stuff like this that it was just perfect timing. And so, you know, I'm here I am and preparing and got 17, what did I say, 17 days before the page. Well, it's like, it's incredible to me like watching Miss America pageant on television. Right. Like growing up, it was on, we would just sit down and watch it. I miss those days when it was just on TV. Yeah, it was just there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and the perception of that is that it's so, I guess like superficial. Yeah. Or in like glamorous and really like the misconception I would even argue would be like, oh, these are just hollow. Yeah. You know, I mean, you're seeing us because all you see is them prancing around in a bathing suit and like it, I mean, that's singing or doing whatever they did for the talent. It doesn't, it does feel, I mean, if you don't know the world, the industry, it does feel really hollow, but pageant women are some of the most amazing women. They're already doing, they're doing everything in life that they, they're being mothers, they're being wives. You know, there's also the myths, you know, that people aren't married as well. They're out in their community. They're serving, they're volunteering. They're getting, they're raising, I mean, millions of dollars for their cause, whatever their cause is, but you don't see that on stage. And just bringing it back to you sitting there right now, you're telling a story that needs to be told as a result of this thing. I mean, now just listening to you talk about this whole time, like I just feel like that hollowness of all those feelings that or misconceptions that I would have are just like disappearing, you know. And we had Megan on as well. Emily bronze. Emily, but Haley, but Emily bonds was the other. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. She's a good friend of mine. Yeah. So she was awesome. She came on here and same thing, man. Like the story and this platform that it gives you to, to get out there and really help is really incredible. Yeah. And it's like, you know, everybody needs a different type of person to minister to them. You know, I remember when I first got saved, my or after we'd been safer while a friend of ours had first gotten saved and they were like going to these like heavy metal Christian, like yeah. And my husband's like, some of my favorite metal bands are Christian metal bands. And if you slow down their lyrics and yeah, it's like pretty cool. It's pretty intense. Yeah. Pretty neat. And it's like, that's what they needed when they came out of bondage. They needed, they needed something that was familiar. And that's what's so cool about God is he doesn't throw you into like, like, that, oh, you're going to all of a sudden be in the church choir and you're going to wear the white thing. You're going to be swaying side to side. Like if you are a roller derby heroin girl, like he's going to put you in the type and so I mean, that's where, you know, my community was a vintage community. You know, I did slam poetry, you know, like shave my head, you know, doing roller. Like this is, that was my people because I had come from this, this lifestyle. And those are the people I needed to surround me. And so, you know, if there's like, you know, a pageant girl that gets saved, maybe the pageant community, but I grew into the pageant community. Right. Then start here. You evolved. I evolved. You evolved into it, but you recognize it and quit fighting it. Yeah. And now you got this amazing platform and, you know, for what it's worth, I think you're reaching way more people now doing what you're doing than being the roller derby girl, which I would conceptually find way cooler. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like if, as a child, right? Yeah. If you gave me the option to watch roller derby or watch Miss America pageant, I'm going roller derby. I'm going roller, yeah. I'd be a hard. Miss America pageant was huge in our house. It was. I'd watch it every single time. And we would, we never picked the winners. We would always like, well, that one that, you know, because they all, a lot of them have the same speech and, you know, world peace. Yeah. World peace. I want to save the world. Your story is a thousand times better. Yeah. And I think your story is something that they all people can relate to. I don't think I know people can relate to that. Like, yeah, I want to bring world peace. Okay. Everybody said that, but somebody getting up and saying, I suffered from this and I suffered from heroin addiction and look at where I'm at now. And that's, you know, it's amazing. Yeah. It's amazing story. I have 94 kids. Yeah. Like all these things like all these things that I'm doing, like check me out. Like, yeah. No, that's, that's crazy. So you, you said something early. He sets up a little earlier about your husband, right? And how, how did those conversations go with him about, about all of this? About the abuse. Well, about the abuse and maybe even the addiction. Yeah. So he grew up with, in the 1970s, he's a little older than me and his mom was a hippie by like, you know, theory. Yeah. And his dad was a hippie and the using. So he grew up with his dad, you know, he remembers at one time when his dad, like she had to keep putting blankets on him in the middle of summer because he was coming. I was trying to kick the heroin habit. Okay. And so he was very familiar with that and his, his brother had gone to prison and, you know, so it wasn't like totally foreign to him. But when we met at, we met at church, we met as in the video department at church. Because I was in journalism and he was an RTF, which is radio television film. And like, he fell in love with me right away. It took me a little while to warm up to him, but he, I knew I was like, he's a good guy for somebody else. Yeah. Now seven kids later. He was like, he often says, he's like, if you would have told me then, I mean, I was all nervous and thinking, she doesn't like me. Yeah. And we were going to have seven kids. He was like, I wouldn't have believed you. Yeah. But what, once he landed you, he's like, I'm having seven kids with her. Like we're, yeah, we're getting in there. We're going to, we're going to. Family. I did. Yeah. So have you, did you, as your kids have gotten older, have you shared your story with them? I am, you know, probably I like any trauma survivor. I'm an oversharer in general. Me too. You know, I mean, and I like that about my nine year old knows everything. Yeah. So, and I did, I told them everything. Now I would go back and probably be careful because now that I have a 21 year old daughter who is going out into the world and the dating world, trying to find her own spouse, she's having to deal with some of the fear that I like, you know, I was 22 when I had her. I mean, I was scared that the same thing was going to happen to me. Sure. That happened, will happen to her. And so, I mean, I just kind of like, she was scared to go to the mailbox sometimes because she thought someone was going to pick her up. Yeah. And so she's, you know, she's having to work through some of that. So I wish I would have been a little bit more careful that, you know, proving that, you know, not all men are like that. Some men are like your dad, like a great guy. But he had his own things to deal with. His dad introduced him to porn and stuff like that at 12. So he was like, yeah, men are all bad. Like, it wasn't a good combination to raise my poor little guinea pig child. But, you know, we learned, but they all know. I mean, they know everything. And, you know, sometimes they have to go, Mom, I'm not, I'm not you. Right. Like, I'm like, did you sneak out? Yeah. Did you steal that? And she's like, Mom, like I'm, I was raised by two Christian parents that like we love Jesus and we like treat y'all good, you know, homeschool, like, you know, I mean, I'm sure they're going to do bad stuff. Don't get me wrong. I'm not an idiot. Of course they are. Like, I always assume the worst, like the worst of the worst. And that's, and that's the trauma. And that's why I was talking in DC when I was telling the legislators, I was like, you don't realize that we need these victim resources because it is a generational trauma that's happening because I am now raising my children out of my own fears and it's affecting them in different ways. Well, that's probably your biggest fear as a parent that your kids don't, like, you know, if they came home and said this happened to me, you'd be like, what the fuck? Yeah, you know, absolutely. Yeah, everybody's every parent's worst fear. Everybody's biggest fear. And I think that I wouldn't beat yourself up on being too out there because I think that over preparing your kids is way better than underprepared. That's true. You know, and me and her mom have had talks to where she's like, you're too honest with her. She's only nine. You know, you and she's known my story since she was six. Yeah. So I didn't wait till she was nine. She's known, she knew at six what cocaine and meth and everything was what it looks like, what it does. And I tell her mom that the worst thing for me to do is go through the journey that I went through and not prepare her for it. And then one day her come and tell me, dad, this is what I did. And I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah. Right. So over preparing them is a thousand times better than under preparing them. Yeah. Yeah. Now maybe not scaring the shit out of them. Yeah. I think it's just constantly having those conversations. Yeah. You know, me and my daughter, she's now having to say, you know, I wish she would have done this better. And you know, I wish it, because she's now out of the house. So she's able to like kind of have a bird's eye view. And that's honestly made me grow. Because I'm like, you're right. I should have done that. Let's talk about that. Yeah. And if we just continue to have all those hard conversations and, you know, I love, I love that about this, the generation, you know, that they're so willing to talk about their emotions, even the men and stuff like that. And I'm so glad because so many things are being healed and we're stopping. Still a lot of work to do. But it, it just, it's been a good, it's been good. Well with that too, there's a saying that I always like to use it with my son, he's an athlete. So, but it's like, I'd always, I'd rather tell you, whoa, than giddy up. Yeah. Right. Like it's way easier to pull back. And it is to tell you to, to get, to get going. Right. So I would use that for the way you have been with your children. Yeah. Kind of easier to back off than to like start tiptoeing around. Well, way better for them to realize like the opposite, like not like real, like when you're, I was a kid, you know, I was like, Oh, everybody's good. Oh wait, not everybody's good. Right. It'd be better to be like, everybody's bad and then realize, oh wait, no, everybody's good. Yeah. That's a way better realization. Yeah. 100%. For sure. 100%. Well, thank you so much for coming and doing this. Thank you for having me. Yeah. This was, I mean, that's an incredible story. That's an incredible arc of a story. And the things that you're doing now, rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Go check them out. Well, we'll make sure we put up a link on your episode and when it comes out, we'll get that put up there. Keep doing what you're doing. You better look when you go to Vegas and you win, you got to come back. Send us the pictures so we can share them. Yeah. We want all of that. We'll make sure that we get you all up. But yeah, when Emily came on the next pageant, she went to, she won. Yeah. Yeah. Send us pictures. We were posted. We were like, let's go. Our husband's cool as shit too. Yeah. I mean, really, if every time I meet a new pageant girl, I'm like, you're my new favorite. Yeah. You know, they are some really amazing people. Kind of for us too. Well, growing up, I always, I always thought like they were real snooty, right? And they may have been. I don't know. I mean, that's true. There are some. The two that have came on here are not snooty at all. Yeah. I mean, your podcast is called Two Attics and a moron. So maybe you've just gotten a certain sign. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're a special crew of dude here and we attract a very special group of pageant that come on here. And again, thank you so much for coming on and sharing this story. It's 17 days. Where can we watch it? Can we watch it? Yeah. There will be a live stream of it and I'll post my pageant account is USOA, Mrs. MRS, Texas, and I'll post the link on my stories and the link like have a link in the bio type of thing. How do they find you? For me, I have a website, a very, very skeleton website. I'm still trying to figure out where my writing part of me is. Is Elaine Mingus.com. It has all my podcasts. I have a podcast for the vintage furniture that's on there. So it has all of that type of stuff. It has three blogs on it. And that's all. And I'm just like, I'm just trying to go slow and really honestly, just I don't want to build this myself because I want to go to heaven and God say I built it with you and it's a kingdom that will last and it glorifies me. And so that's my biggest struggle because I'm such a hustle girl is not to run ahead. So I'm just, if I don't feel like writing, I'm actually, I have a book that I wrote. It's a fiction book. And I'm, and it's published. It was published a long time ago, but I am rereading my own book right now. What's it called? It's called Without Regret. And I am like, like, it is touching my heart again. Like, it's like, it feels like a little healing in the sense that like, I'm like, oh, yeah, I used to do this. Like I used to like this. Yeah. And so it's almost like I'm reintroducing myself to that part of me again. And I'm just, I'm kind of timid to her. Nice. And we'll put it right there. Well, we'll get a copy. We'll stick it right there. Let your, let your, let your girlfriends read it. I mean, you can read it, but it's kind of a chick. It's kind of a chick. My favorite movies mean girls. So it's a good movie. That's the look, the notebook, the proposal. I love those. Yeah. Man, the proposal to me. Perfect comedy and chick flick. And that's the one with Sandra Bullock. Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. That is one of my favorites. Yes. That's a great chick. It is so good. Bullock was my, was my crush. She was also miscongeniality. Yeah. Miss. Well, yeah, doesn't hold the candle to the proposal. No, it's that one's a good one. That proposal movie is like, it's a chick flick that your dude would be, would leave like being like, this is a good movie. This is a good movie. Yeah. So to me, that's like the perfect one. Right. Like the notebook, not so much. Yeah. That's kind of, that's definitely more of a chick flick. Yeah. So just a dude sitting there. Yeah. Well, thank you. How do they find you on Instagram? Me have an Instagram too. I do. It's elaine.e.mingus on my Instagram. I kind of just like throw all the, like collab with the other account right now because I'm doing so much on the other account. So it kind of, it looks almost like exactly like my magic account right now. Okay. But still check it out. Maybe someone will reach out to you that struggles with the same thing. Yeah, I'd love that. You can walk them through some stuff. That would be. Crutamine to pageant treats. Yeah. And then you, you got a, you got a cool story too. Let's get a crown on you. Let's go. Let's get a sash. Well, thank you so much for taking time out from all of your 78 children and to come on to our podcast. It's still insane to me that you have seven kids. It's insane to me. You know, they were, they like only five of them were probably two of them were planned. And yeah, sorry. I'm like, I'm like going at it like, no, no, no, no, no. Same way to go off. I want to hear about this. I'm like, you've had it. Oh, but like for real, seven kids with you being like, this is a pretty well put together person for seven kids. That's insane. Thank you. I credit weight watchers. Yeah. It's, well, especially for a post eating disorder weight loss, like it's very balanced. So I really appreciate that. Yeah. Well, your journey is one hell of a journey. And you know, I, I hate that you went through it, but I'm happy that it happened because look at you now and look at what you're doing now. And it was an honor. I always extend this to everybody that comes on here, but you need us for anything. We'll show up and that door is always open to you. If you ever want to come sit behind the camera and watch, if you want to sit in that seat again, if you win, you're coming in that seat again. We're happy. You want, we want the new, we want that new, new on there. You know? And the crown is, I mean, this crown is pretty, but that crown is like, no, we're gorgeous. We're, I'm talking like the rhinestones. I want it. I will, I will deck out. I will wear all the things. We'll, we'll wear a suit for that. Yeah. And I will, I will tuxedo up for that one. We'll go, I'll wear a bow tie. No, we're going to rent. Let's go rent tuxedos for that podcast. For that one. That'd be fun. Yeah. That'd be super cool. Let's do it. Let's do it. Well, thank you again. We'll, uh, to accent them more on episode 60, whatever. 62 61 60. Well, we're, yeah, 61 61. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We are out. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you.