Paranoia Spiral: Why We Force Outcomes Instead of Trusting God | H2H Episode 012 | 1 Samuel 21-24

Park to Heart on Lesson 104, where your Bible study prints. Welcome to the Heart Dive Podcast. Welcome back to another discussion, heart discussion with me and my ladies here. We're trying to sharpen some iron today. We had a long conversation before we hit record. You know what? We're just going to keep flowing with this because we want to continue to model what discipleship looks like. But first, before we dive in, we always got a little bit of housekeeping for the ministry that God has built here. So to continue that work, Kanhoy, would you like to take it from here? Yeah. Just make sure you hit your roll call button. Our Heart Divers know what that means. That's that thumbs up button that just helps to support. It's your way of saying, I'm here. We're doing a good thing over here. Subscribing to the channel, all those good things are always super helpful. But if you're new here, we welcome you. Let us know in the comments where you're watching from. We're so grateful that you're here with us. We have walked through the entire Bible twice now. We're going through it a third time. And if you want to get a good understanding of the Bible, we recommend that you go to our website, heartdive.org, slash start, where you can access all of our videos, all of our free resources, which we have tons. I'm telling you, it's tons. And we're continuing to produce more and more every single week. And so the reason why we're able to do that is because we have amazing heartkeepers. That's what we call them. People who have just said, I want to support this, and they have contributed financially to help do that. And we're just grateful for every single dollar that comes in to continue to pay for the technology and all the things that it takes behind the scenes. So if you want more info on that, go to heartdive.org slash give. And so big thank you from all of us to all of you who continue to help out. And for those of you who continue to pray for this ministry, it is our heart to get people in God's word and to get people to understand it. Thank you, Kanai. So, we're moving to today's discussion. Let's always prepare our heart posture so we can receive God's word and hopefully dive into some things and unravel some mysteries or myths that perhaps we're living in. And we see it modeled in Saul and David's relationship. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this time. Thank you for your word, which is the answer key to all our problems. It has your love, your instructions. It is your playbook for life. And David walked with you. He looked to you for his answers. He looked to you. He petitioned to you. He praised you. He always came to you. You were the answer. And we see in Saul maybe some things that we don't like because maybe there are some things we need to hand to you like David. Any ego issues or power trips or hurt in society, paranoia, we see a lot of the hurt in Saul that we see in this world today. None of these things are old. They're all very relevant and prevalent in our own lives. Lord, cleanse my heart, cleanse mine as we sit down and we read your word. Remove any transgressions and forgive those who have transgressed against us so that we can move forward in uprightness and in the refuge of your love and your goodness and your sovereignty so that we will know your will, your good and pleasing perfect will and walk like David in the fields. In Jesus' name, amen. And welcome back to Heart Dive as we are exercising our faces and our voices and also exercising discernment, which is what we are looking for in today's lesson as we walk with David and Saul. Now, perhaps you can kind of feel that fever pitch, right? I think we all have felt a bit of David and probably a little bit of Saul as David is running. He is fleeing. Now, you probably are familiar that David has seasons. These are the years that he is in his hiding years. Maybe you're in your hiding years or maybe you feel a little bit of that Saul where there's this pressure building up inside of you and you're not quite sure if this is coming from the world or if it's coming from God and you truly need to feel discernment in your heart and not fear man because you want to fear the Lord. These are questions we get. How do you fear the Lord? How do you know you're doing what God has called you to do? What do you do with these circumstances? How do you change your perspective? How do you know God is sovereign over the situation that you're in? How do you honor him when everyone around you wants your life to end? Welcome to 1 Samuel chapters 21 through 24. All right, ladies, you're ready to dive into some quite uncomfortable material. Discomfortable. That's not a word, is it Kanhoy? No discomfort. The discomfort is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. Welcome to the Holies Webster Dictionary. I just filmed this lesson so I'm already bathing in discomfort. Already bathing in it. I was going to say the very first discomfort that I had was the very beginning. I mean, literally first to where David lies to a priest. Yeah. I mean, I know why, but I was like, oh, oh, yeah, it didn't feel good. That was my first immediate discomfort. That's the conviction of the spirit, right? You know that God is a God of truth, that he desires us to be integrous and truthful and David wasn't. And it's uncomfortable to not see God rebuke David in that moment of like, what are you doing? Like, why are you doing that? But that's where we have to understand God's heart. And we were talking earlier, Holly, about the free will of man, right? Like, this is not God condoning the lie, but he will take our mistakes and he will use it for his purpose. And that's what's going to take place here. But it doesn't negate the consequences. Yeah. I mean, that will bite him in the booty later in chapter 22. I forget, somewhere else. Yeah. It will bite him in the booty. Yep. In chapter 22. So he's not, and that speaks into knowing God's will and discernment. And so some situations you're thinking, it's just a white lie, but the spirit will convict you. And even in that moment, you know something's not right. And he gets caught. Don't act. He's right there. And it tells you, uh-oh, I know he's going to run and tell Saul. And he dips out right after that. And so the spirit is showing that conviction there. At least that's what I see. On the back end of that, I saw how beautiful the priest was like, you know what? I will give you this bread. You're hungry. I see a need. I know that, you know, the law says it's not for you, but you're hungry. And so here's the bread. And so it's like, in my opinion, and what I saw was two opposite ends of the pendulum. And I even wrote, God never intends to put the ritual above a need. The priest understood that. I mean, he knew what the law, well, God had commanded previously, but he also, which was this is the huge part that we have to get. He also knew the heart of God. And even though God had commanded, nope, this, this bread is holy and it is intended for the priest. Like you said, winter, the rituals never to be above, what was it? The rituals not to be above the need of a human. And so he understood the provision of God. He understood the compassion of God. He understood the mercy of God. He understood the kindness of God. That's like, okay, in this moment, it's the spirit of the law will prevail over the legalistic portion of the law. I was very uncomfortable because I'm like, but David really shouldn't get that bread because he just lied to get it. Right. You know, like I had that tug of back and forth. Yeah. But then, but then I felt bad because David lied because he was afraid for his life. Yeah. And he was hungry and he needed, he needed protection and he needed food. Yeah. He was desperate. Yes. So it's not condoning that desperation in desperate measures is okay. It's not okay. It's not okay. But it's not, but, but again, it's like, if you can get yourself to rise above what's actually taking place in this moment and understand God's heart and how he sees it, man, it just opens your heart up so much to be able to understand like the way God operates, you know, and again, how he will, okay, he is sovereign over it all and he will take this mistake, take that mistake, take this exception, take that compromise and he will, he will be the potter, you know, and, and he'll mold it to where it becomes this beautiful masterpiece in the end. Yeah. He ends up doing that with that story, Winter, what you're saying, you know that Jesus uses this exact story against the Pharisees and their legalese in the New Testament. Exactly. Matthew 12, 1 through 8. Because they were being legalistic and he's like, don't you know? Yeah. Don't you know the priest gave the bread to David? Like you guys are, you guys are being legalistic here because he would let the people starve. And so you see that later in these chapters, right? It says who started to rally behind David. It was those who were in distress, discontent and in debt. And so who was placing those people in all that? That was Saul, that was the government, that was the oppression of the systems and the legalism that was pressuring and making people feel like they were in a trap. But if we go back to David and what he's doing in this situation specifically, was he preserving life or was he trying to protect the priest? Because if the priest knew the situation, he would have to make a choice. He'd have to choose Saul or David. Right. Like, you know, you could go in different directions. So I just wanted to bring that perspective and the polarization of that. Like, oh, he lied in our spirits. We're like, oh, but perhaps he was trying to protect the priest. He's like, I don't want you to have to make this moral decision. Take responsibility. And he did. A Himalayan actually does do that. And then his people, his army says, no, we're not going to kill the priest. Like, these are God's chosen people. Like, he's done nothing wrong. He didn't know this was the situation. And the person that ended up slicing the priest was an enemy of God. The Edomite. And just wanted to paint that picture. The question here is survival mode, survival mode, which is what David is now operating in, can make us extremely resourceful. He ran to the priest. He looked at him for food. Knew there would be food there. But it can also make us reckless. And so heart check, has there ever been any situation in your life where you made a decision to preserve your life for someone else's, but then it spiraled out of control in the aftermath and consequences? I think we can all say yes to that. Yes. So the message that we can take from this is that sin and the folly of our reckless decisions that are not being discerned in God's word will have consequences. And that's why it is so important for us to know what is right, to know the truth, to have the Holy Spirit and that discernment so that we won't be impulsive in our own flesh, you know, so that we will be wise. I mean, we see the wisdom of God all over these chapters and how he, you know, just so intentionally places people. He, his timing is so perfect. And he gives such wise instruction in these moments. But if David had not had an ear inclined to God, he would continue to act impulsively. But thankfully, as the continues progress, I mean, the chapters progress, we do see David now acting a little bit wiser. And that shows how we are, you know, like we'll make mistakes, you know, we'll do stupid things, we will be impulsive, we will be reckless. But God, right? Like if we incline our ear to him, if we, if our hearts are aligned with his, we should ultimately start to operate in wisdom, you know, and be a little less reckless. It comes with age, but it also comes with the knowledge of understanding and knowing his word. Absolutely. I think we can all look back and think back on when we were younger and we did X, Y, Z. And, you know, maybe we weren't where we are now. And it's just that wise discernment with, with understanding God and having that close relationship. So for context here, we have a 20 year old anointed God chosen future leader and David, he's about 20, you know, coming out of his shepherd years. And he is in his hiding years, right? We said hiding years, but this is his wilderness, just like Moses, just like Jesus. We see a lot of symbolization, symbolization, another made up word, symbolism of what God will do to people that he is equipping for the journey ahead. Like you just said, wisdom and knowing God's word. David is learning to cling to God when there is nothing else to cling to. He has nothing else to cling to. Everyone has turned their back against him. Not Jonathan, but Jonathan's not there with him, you know, walking with him. It'd be different if you had a friend who's with you in it and you're like, I got this, I can keep going. But instead, he's actually got a rowdy band of 400 people that will grow. So I'm going to kind of move us through to the chapter 22. We see him deceive the priest and deceive the king with his insanity plea. And then we move into chapter 22 and we're still he's running all over the place. Now he's in Moab and he's trying to protect his family. And now he's in a cave and it's wilderness years. It's the wilderness years. We all have them. And you may be thinking it's punishment, but again, it's preparation for whatever God's got lined up for you next. You know, I sit here and think like when I look back on my life on my reckless years, I should probably say in my early twenties, I'm like, was that actually a wilderness season that I just simply wasn't acting with wisdom? I was being impulsive, I was being reckless. And I'm like, man, was that a wilderness season? It probably was. Like God was trying to prepare me for something. And I always say like I could have started this ministry a long time ago. I know I was called to it. I knew from a young age that I was called to do ministry. But I didn't act in wisdom. And so it took a longer time to get here. But God, right? Sovereign, still going to his gifts and calling without repentance. And as long as we repent and come back to him, he will allow that to prevail in the person that he has chosen for it, which in this case was David, right? Like he does again, end up kind of like getting it right after all of that impulse. I think we I think everyone can pinpoint a moment in their life when they were in the wilderness, just like David. Yeah. And what's beautiful to me is being able to look back and pinpoint those moments when God was with you and when God was molding you for those situations, situations to where you are today. And I say it all the time. It was his orchestrating each and every step throughout your life. And I think that that's a beautiful thing if people stop and really reflect on those things. And really search for when God did show up and where he had a hand in it all. Which really, if you if you really look at your life and trust that God does not leave and does not forsake, you can see his fingerprint on every part of it. It's not just when he showed up. He was always there. He was from the beginning. You're absolutely right. He was always there. Yeah. And I think that's awesome because I feel like the longer we are with walking with the Lord and the deeper a relationship grows, the more you do start to see. It becomes less of, oh, when God showed up and more of he was always there. He was always there. And you're right. You're talking about your rightful years. You could have started this then and you as well. I'll enter with your point. What we see in chapter 22 is this contrast between leadership. And who does David get to rally around him? It's not a leader that's untouchable. It's not a leader who has no struggles. It's not a leader who has it all together and started a ministry at 18 and just had everything perfect and beautiful. People follow someone who knows what it feels like to be on the wrong side of a system. Maybe it's about they understand the struggle that you're in. And so they are attracted to you because perhaps of the broken ones, the overlooked ones, the ones the system chewed up and then spit right back out. Saul had all the power, but none of the trust in his people. David had no power, but had nothing but loyalty. So during these years of that, the reckless decision making canoe, right? Where you're like, maybe I should have just started this when God said, maybe he's like, no, honey, I need you to go through some struggle. So you can see my real heart. So when then you are able to share it, they don't see. Canoed with the crown. They see canoeing with the brokenness. Yeah, they see the canoe that went through it and came out on the other side. And she didn't let that win. She let God rule. Well, and when I look at it, I'm like, this is this is why I'm able to have so much grace and compassion and mercy. And and I like you said, it's like God, he's allowing that to shine. Like that's his heart shining through me because I did. I went through all of that. And I like I hold so dearly to his grace because of how much he came to me, you know? And so it's it's a lot easier when you have been given that to then offer it back out. Everybody has shown grace as a thing. We all have it. We've all been given way more grace than we deserve. It's the people who can see it, who are going to grasp it, who are then going to give it out. So people who cannot give out mercy and cannot give out grace, it's because they can't see it in their own lives. Hello, Saul. Right. He can't see the mercy of God in his life. Therefore, he does not dole it out very easily. And it just gets more and more and more bitter and jealous. And and yeah, wants to tear down, tear down, tear down. See, I even have a definition biblically of the word paranoia, because that's what really struck out to me. I wrote paranoia, too. Yeah. I think I have it in my heartbeat somewhere. That word. Yeah. Paranoia, paranoid. That term wasn't used during that time because, you know, it says psychology, psychiatrist term. So biblically speaking, it says that it's a mental condition marked by suspicious, distrustful attitudes towards others, along with unfounded beliefs, unfounded beliefs about persecution or grandeur. All right. He Saul thinks he's being persecuted by David and he has these grander plans that I'm mitered in him, though he knows the whole situation. He knows he's going to lose the crown. He knows it's going to go to another family, that he's lost his dynasty. And so now he's got nothing but distrustful, you know, beliefs on everyone thinks everyone's out to get him. And that's why even to the point that he's like, Hey, Benjamin Mites, he's talking to only his tribe because it said another tribe will get the crown. He doesn't even trust any of the other 11 tribes at this point. And so the Bible doesn't use this term, right? Because it wasn't documented. So if we strip it down, it is essentially a self-centered fear. Yeah, it's insecurity. It comes from insecurity. Like if you if you are not secure in your identity in God, then you are insecure ultimately, I mean, and that's what creates that parent. And that is what. Everything. Exactly. That's the very next line. The very next line. The brooding suspicion that God will not be sufficient for what you face. That he somehow forgotten you, that he is even is opposing you. God, not just that man is your enemy. God is your enemy. He's not enough. He won't provide. He will not sustain. And actually he's the enemy. God's the enemy. That's interesting because Saul doesn't. He never says anything that expresses that, but his spirit obviously feels it, right? Like he and that's what creates that that distorted perception of everything and every person and then he starts falsely accusing everybody around him. You know, priests and everybody. I mean, yeah, it was like I say it all the time. You can't change people's perception. Saul's perception on the whole situation is so twisted. Wacken out all. Yes. Yes. And there's, but that's an everyday life, guys. Like I think about, you know, every, every time I read, I think about God's heart and what he has done for me and how he's changed my heart. And then I think about the world and how history has repeated itself. And we all had these issues. And I'm going to be very honest. There was a time I talk about it a lot. There was a time when I was very angry with God, you know, I had a moment of Saul. I was young and angry. And I look back at those moments and I'm like, poor winter. She was in such a bad place, in such a dark place. And the winter today is just, it's like you were saying, Kanhoy, because God has given me so much grace and he has continued to wrap his arms around me through, through it all. It's just a different heart. It's a different place and it's a different perception. Yeah. I mean, I've never, I've, I can honestly say I've never been mad at God. Like I've always had a place of reverent fear for God, but I was different in the sense that I was insecure in what you were saying, Holly, of like trusting that God is, is in control, you know? And so I was like, what about me? What about me? I was like a brat, you know, like youngest child syndrome, you know, I was like, what am I going to get mine? And why, why is she getting that? Looking at everybody else, you know, comparison and, and just insecure. And, and it's like the more you grow in that security and confidence in your identity in Christ, holy moly, how life changes in your perspective changes on things. My heart hurts for Saul. I've said it last time. I'm going to continue to say it. Yeah. Anytime we come across people throughout scripture, my heart hurts for them. And people who act like him, people who falsely accuse, who tear down, who criticize, who are bitter, who are cynical. We see it daily and, and our hearts grieve for people. And it's, it's funny because we were just having this discussion. It's like people are petty, you know, and they're going to come and they're going to say things. But we have gotten to a place where it's like, yeah, it might hurt, sting for a moment, but our heart actually hurts more for the person because you know, they're hurting and they're coming from this place of, of a Saul nature. It's like there's an insecurity there. And because so they feel the need to tear down from their own distorted perception. Now I'm going to jump us over to Galatians five so people can have context. You're like, OK, but how do you, how do you know if I'm hurting or I'm hurting other people? Like they're God gave us again, as I said, playbook, we have the answers in here. So Galatians five talking about the fruit of the spirit helps us be able to recognize it in ourself and also recognize what we should be growing, what should be coming out of us and maybe check our heart and make sure this isn't. So Galatians five starting in verse 19. Now the works of the flesh are evident, sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and things like these. I warn you before that those who do the fruit of the spirit one time do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Against such things there is no law and those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. And if we live by the spirit, let us also keep in step with the spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. I think everybody needs to wake up and read that every day. Right. I'm going to start doing that. That's another mic drop after that one. Yeah. Galatians 5, 19 through 26 every day. Well, as you said that, I was actually going to make a print to put on the wall. So and then also put it on my laptop, put on my desktop, put on my phone, kind of to like as like a heart check. So last week we talked about Godly friendships and we did a red flag, green flag. This is red flags. If you see yourself kind of falling into this bad spirit, bad fruit, then it's like, oh, let me replace that fruit with some of the good flags. So like bad fruit, good fruit. Yeah. And I know it seems so simple and you're like, I've read that a million times, but now you can actually see it in practical application. Let's take it a step further. Handy work. This will be in the hard work because we want to take from knowledge acquisition to knowledge application. All right. I want to activate y'all. Right. This is what hard work is meant to be. Not I, the spirit. And that's where it is. It's not me. It is the spirit working through us at this ministry, using God's word. It has nothing to do with Holly or Kanai or winter or this YouTube. It has everything to do with, are you going to let the Holy spirit move through you and you and out of you so that you will produce fruit beyond understanding so that when rivalries come, when decision comes, when the attacks and the envy and the greed and the disunity is coming at you, I will pray for you. I love you. I will shower kindness upon you because guess what? I am not worried about someone's whose words or hands can kill me. I am more worried about the God that will destroy my body and my soul. So at the end of the day, I want to glorify his name, not mine, not a ministry. And so do you have the fruit of the spirit or do you have the fruit of the flesh? And it's always at war. Those things are always at war. The other day I was sitting like I had a bad day. If anything could go wrong, it was going wrong. And I felt so just like that's how I felt on the inside of my spirit. And I'm like, Lord, like this is not of you. And I knew it. And that's what I kept praying all day. I'm like, please, like what is going on inside of my spirit? This is not of you. This is. And so it's like when you can recognize that and you seek after the fruit of the spirit. Man, I like it really like you can start to wash away that stuff. And it really does just take a moment, a step of a prayer, you know, to start to like allow God to chip that stuff away. And he did it. It was like one day and it was gone, you know, but if I had not done that, and if I had just sat in that, you know, and just let it fester, that's that's how you end up. Like you will physically make yourself sick. I see it. You'll end up like Saul. You'll end up like Saul. Yes. Yeah. He was physically mentally, spiritually sick. Yeah. Yeah. And I just want to point out too, there's a difference between knowing the scripture, knowing the fruits, being able to recite them and feeling it and living it. Which by the way, we just created a tagline here at Heartdive. And for those of you who purchase something from our Lover of the Word line, you're going to get a free sticker, our free Heartdive sticker, which Winter says what? It says, read the word, know his heart and live it out. Amen. Head, heart, hands. Do we want to do like a little show? Let's show it off. It's it's I stuck it in the back of my. Oh, it's backwards. But yeah, which you guys are getting a little sneak peek right now of our new logo. I don't know if you noticed it, but it looks a little different. Just to refresh. It's just a refresh. Does the Lord doing little sparkle little little. Anybody's wondering, we do have stuff coming very, very, very, very, very, so excited. It's in the works. It's printing as we speak. Yep. Yes. If you all watching this in 2030, I don't know if it's. Yeah, just saying. Well, we don't know what she's talking about. 2030, there's no telling what's coming out then. I will have some kind of other glittery, fru fru jingle coming out. But no, so getting back to living the word and knowing it. I know a lot of people who can tell you all kinds of stuff. They can they can say all kinds of things. Yeah. Mm hmm. But then their fruits are rotten. Oh, yeah. It's not true. Yeah, it's not fresh fruit. It's yucky, stinky, rotten fruit. I don't want to be stinky and rotten. Me either. Me either. And you know, and it's it's it goes back to feeling like we feel now versus feeling like a salt. And I say it all the time when you're feeling that ickiness, like like Kanhoye, like you were saying, you just stopped and you're like, this is not you, God. This is not you make it go away. But I also say I was talking to a friend last night, flip the script. Mm hmm. Yeah. Force yourself when you're feeling icky, force yourself to find where God is right there with you. Force yourself to find the positive and the blessings and the OK, I'm feeling icky. But what's the positive from it? What's the what's the flipped the script? Yeah. Yeah. The more you do that, the more natural it becomes. And the more fresh fruit you get from it. And you don't you're not sour. Mm hmm. And the way you're going to do that is by picking up your sword, knowing the word and listen, you may not you may be new to the word of God, but that doesn't keep you from the ability of searching for the word. Simple Google search of anxiety, Bible verse. Simple. It will pop up a million verses that are in the Bible. Yeah. I'm not saying to go start reading every website that it pops up, but I'm saying just search the scripture, scripture, worry, scripture, fear, scripture, whatever, you know, and and and that is going to be the thing that you're going to be able to defeat the rotten fruit with, you know, you're going to start to feed and nourish your soul. And then the good fruit will come. Have you guys seen the it's called emergency contacts for the Bible? I've heard of that. Yeah. And it's that it's basically I have a sticker is it in this Bible that has all of those emerging emergency numbers of the Bible. And it gives you the scriptures. It gives you the the emergency context, just like dial in 9-1-1. This is your 9-1-1. Yeah. This is your 9-1-1 when you're in those feelings. But you there's also people who create the prayer Bible. So people will use tabs and so orange is anxiety. And so then you tap all the pages that have orange verses, you know, for anxiety. Don't tell my don't tell my monkey brain that I'm going to start wanting to have my I know I was thinking the same thing. You you guys. You're right there with you. It's in you. I'm like, oh, why haven't I done that yet? OK. Y'all really didn't know this existed? Oh, my goodness. I the Lord knew not to let me see that it existed. Y'all are so right. Is going to God's word. It is having the armor of God. And all of these things are listed again over in Ephesians. Am I right? Armor of God's in Ephesians. I know, I think you're right. Ephesians. I don't know. So y'all can Google that the armor of God. And one of those is prayer, you know, petitioning to the Lord, talking to him, having a relationship with him, which David does in chapter 23 before he goes and fights on behalf of God's chosen people, the Israelites. He prays and then he prays again when his people are like, we will surely die. So he prays one for himself. He prays for the people and then he prays for his army, the people who are following him. This is exemplifying what a good, godly leadership would look like. This is what we do, even though we might not have an army of 600 or we don't have a nation we need to protect. We, we, one soul leave the 99 for one. Jesus died for you. You are worth fighting for. You are worth having a relationship for. And God wants to hear your voice. He wants to hear you. You are still worth fighting for. And so if we move to chapter 24, I'm just going to kind of jump from 23 over because he does do this and he shares his heart. And so in 24, we have a real glimpse into what sovereignty of God, discerning God's will and then human responsibility all at play. And before we jump down, we have, Kanhoye has definitely had on her heart from the Lord, from the beginning, and has to constantly be like, no, we ain't doing that yet today. Is try to keep this as focused on what is in the word and keep it as plain and simple as possible. And so people like Billy Graham and Charles Spurgeon, they really speak to me and they speak to my heart because that's what they did. It was never about how they said it or why they said it or how eloquent it could be. It was how plain. The farmer's preacher, that's what Charles Spurgeon was called. How plain can I make this? Oh, I didn't know he was called that. Charles Spurgeon. I don't know why that just like, he's one of my favorites. You're going to make me cry. I know. Well, his story is beautiful because he went and he was supposed to be like, you know, just whatever. And he went in as a teenager into this very small room where this man was preaching and it was a farmer and he was making God's word so plain and so simple with like three or four people that it finally hit him in his heart and it transformed him. And he said, I want to make God's word sound the way that you did. Yes. And that became his life mission. Oh, now I've got to heal that. No wonder I felt so connected to him. That's how I feel. Well, yes. And it shows, Kanwe, because because when I first became a heart diving, that was what hit me. It was like, oh, this makes sense. This finally makes sense. Do you know how many times I've read the Bible? How many times I've been to church? How many times I've and it was words on a page until it was like all of a sudden it was like, oh, it's like that light bulb goes off and I get hungry for more and more and more and I want to see what happens next. And it is, I think a lot of I think it's important to be able to have these conversations and be able to teach in a way that anybody can understand. And some not some people won't. But well, I've got to say, like it it was happening to me as I was doing this. Like I the things I learned as I studied for this very purpose, it was happening in real time. I was learning as I was teaching. And so I don't know. It's like I'm a heart diver, too. You know, I mean, I always say like this isn't mine anyway. I mean, it's it really is God's and I'm just one of the students. I'm just one of y'all, you know, and so maybe that's why I don't know. OK, so I don't want to lead y'all astray. So I went and I just googled it really quick. And if y'all want to go read, I've recommend y'all to do that. What book don't you have a book by Charles Spurgeon? I do. It's one of my favorite devotionals. Yes. Yeah. So a little plug for that one as well. What do you remember what's called? I think it's. OK, let me look. I love it so much that I put a library cover on it. Morning and evening by Charles Spurgeon. Yeah. So in January 6th of January 6th of 1850, a 15 year old Charles Spurgeon seeking refuge from a snowstorm in England stepped into a small primitive Methodist chapel with a regular pastor was absent due to the storm. A humble layman, a farmer's preacher. Or a lay preacher stepped up and read Isaiah 45 22 and urged Spurgeon to look to Jesus. And that simple message instantly revealed and relieved Spurgeon of his spiritual distress, converting him and setting him on a path to becoming one of the most influential preachers of his time, later known as the Prince of Preachers. And it was the layman's uneducated, humble humility and whose name no one knows. No one knows who that man was. The layman, the farmer's preacher, simply teaching on the theme, look unto me and be saved all the ends of the earth. You know, even though he was from the 1800s, he wrote in such a way that is still so incredibly relevant. That's why I love him. I mean, he he wrote prolifically and profoundly, but he also wrote very plainly that it's it's very relevant. And it's I don't know. I just this this devotional, I it's year after year for me. I it's it's like the Bible, like I can read it over and over and over and get new things. I take notes in it. I love it. Everybody everybody needs it morning and evening. Get it. Well, he was ridiculed for his vernacular. He was ridiculed because he's spoken such a plain, simple way. Love that. But yet because of how he was able to meet everyone where they were, it was his wits in the way that he connected that actually resonated with him. And he never felt comfortable. Your and it still happens today. What you're doing later. Yes. Yeah. So that's why Charles Spurgeon fires me up. I so does, you know, Billy Graham, because they were both, you know, come from rural environments who just wanted to make God's word plain and connect, but they also had a passion inside of them because that's what was lit. So David is now chapter 24, standing on a hilltop, speaking with passion and fervor, but also understanding and discernment of what God has in him. Well, and I wrote and highlighted David knew the battle ultimately belonged to the Lord. Yep. He understood the sovereignty and the grace and mercy. I mean, again, we go back to the fact that he because he understood grace and mercy, he doled it out to Saul. Like he really had, I mean, he had every right to throw something to throw punch. Yes. I was like, how do I say this nicely? Yeah, he did. Let me in. I'll fill in the blank. I'll square up to you. But he did. It is. Yeah. And but and but he still was able to like, I can love you from afar. Yeah. Where and I want to ask this question and like this kind of guess is a heart check is what do you do? What do you do when you feel like throw punching someone? You know, yeah, you have those fruits that come in and the grace and like you were saying earlier, Kanhoy, I think it was before we hit record was God has so much grace on us, so then it feeds through us. God fills up our grace cup. And so our grace cup is full for others. And that's what David did. Yeah. Excuse me. That's what David does here for Saul. Instead of going and slaying him, you know, with the sword that he slayed Goliath. Yeah. Yeah, because he had that sword in hand. He had his Goliath sword in hand. Yeah. But instead of using that sword, he went cut a little piece of his robe, put in his pocket for a later day to show him, hey, I could have. But I didn't. But I didn't. I had grace. I'm sorry. I need to quit. But how did he know to have grace there? Was it his theological training? Was it he was more spiritual? It was his heart. Was it and how did he have that heart? He had God's heart. He knew God. He had relationship with God. So I'm going to bring it practical. We all three of us are married. All three of us are married. And we know what our husbands expect when they walk in the door at the end of the evening. And we other people might need to go make sure the dishes are washed in the sink. Other people might need to have dinner on the table and I'm not not an illegalese. This is not legal. It's honor. It's honor is knowing the heart of our husbands or how about at the gate? When I'm at the gate, the waterhole at work or I'm sitting with my girlfriends on the, you know, couch and we're having coffee time or I'm out having lunch with my girlfriends, am I going to bring honor at the gate with my with what's happening there? It's knowing the heart of my husband. It's knowing that we are one flesh and that together that relationship, that covenant reflects both of us. David has a heart like God. And so therefore he is able to discern and know God's will because of the relationship he has with God. He knows God that when he's given a circumstance that looks like Saul on a platter, you can throw punching. He says, no. And I'm talking about everyone was on his side. No one would have thought. No, to they were. Yeah, for sure. He's been trying to kill you for months, years, get them, sick. Him. Yeah. Yeah. They were actually trying to encourage him to go get him now, you know, and and Saul's in the cave and has no clue. You can't see him. Yeah. You know, which I brought up earlier, they both had favorable circumstances like must be God. If God brought him here to me, must be God. And I talked about this in the lesson. I'm like, just because something looks good and just because it's in your favor, it doesn't necessarily mean it's God. And we tend to do that, like must be meant to be. Look how everything's lined up. But I pointed out a circumstance last year where everything seemed to be lining up. But I had something in my heart that said this isn't right. It's just not right. It's just not right. I can't do this. And because I obeyed now in the right time, everything's lining up. And and I understand now looking back like, oh, those were favorable circumstances just wasn't the right time. Right thing, wrong time, wrong thing. Yeah. And so we'll to real life. I had a conversation with my daughter yesterday about this and about knowing if it's God, putting all the things in the right place at the right time or not. And sometimes how we don't know. Yeah. It's it's very hard to have that discernment of what. Yes. And so what do you do in that situation? Or how do you know? Mm hmm. Yeah. And I don't know how to answer that for her. And if you guys have an answer, you know, I'm sure she would love to hear from Auntie Kanhoy and Auntie Polly. Well, people ask all the time. I mean, I think someone just asked the other day, how do we know? And I mean, my biggest, my number one evidence for knowing is just peace. Like if there's angst versus peace, you're going to have one or the other. You're either going to have a little bit of or you're going to have full like, OK, I'm just going to trust, you know. Yeah. And I want to add something to that because if it's your daughter, I'm sure both situations are favorable. And so a friend once told me it can be the devil's distractions or God's divine, you know, opportunities. And so as Kanhoy said, is you may have angst on one, still very favorable, still beautiful, might even be the better one. It looks more appealing, more money for a job, a better situation. But you know that the following that something's not going to be right in your spirit. While the other one you have complete peace over. And so these. Oh, you just said something and it just came to me because I was getting convicted in that moment of you. OK, hear me out because you can also have peace in the excitement of things, right? Like or the excitement takes it washes the the the angst away for that moment. So it's easy to be impulsive of like, I'm so excited. It must be meant to be. Oh, my gosh, I'm going to do it. And so what you're saying is the excitement steps in the impulsivity sticks in steps up. And we actually see this in Saul versus David. Saul, what was a great trait in the beginning when he comes off the field and he's like, oh, my gosh, we're at war, cuts up the oxen and he goes and he fights that impulsivity, that excitement, that fervor. It was good then. But now that same exact trait hasn't been tempered like a sword by a blacksmith. And so that same impulsivity has turned into a fault because he hasn't learned discernment. Yes. That's the next day. He didn't petition to the Lord. So in your excitement, Paul's. Yes. Inquire of the Lord. David did. Mm hmm. And that's what I told my daughter to do. And so and I actually brought up and I know sometimes she's like, you know, because I can say it and I have witnessed this, I can say something to her and then Holly come and say something to her. And I'm like, I just said the same thing. Yeah. She didn't get it the way I said it, you know. Yeah. But and that that was the situation. And again, I always bring it back to real life and what's going on today. And how can we lean into God's word and prayer to have that peace? And that's and I just told her, I was like, I can't answer this for you. I can't answer your question. I can't I can't discern the difference for you. That's something that you have to go and do. And you may not get it in the next five minutes. Like it may take a while, you know, but you'll get there and you'll know. And like we were saying in the beginning of this, when we she's 21. So when I was 21, I was confused too on what I was going to do. Yeah. And I don't think I can. I was like 41. I still don't know. Yeah. Right. Right. And then I said that to her. I was like, how many times have I changed? But it's one of those moments where you can. And I told her, I said, when you're 40, you're going to look back on this moment and think. You were there, God. You did orchestrate every step. You did have a plan for me and I was anxious for no reason. So the last thing that I would tag on to that and to tag on to this lesson is there is something that precedes confidence, that clarity and its obedience. As an obedient heart to God is an obedience to his word. It's an obedience to what he has called us to do. And so we walk out those fruits. We walk out in the kindness. We walk out forgiveness. We walk out and, you know, showing humility to others and loving others, serving others. Do unto them as you want them to do unto you. And it is its obedience. And with that obedience comes the clarity and the confidence to stand up to your enemies the way that David did and say, I'm just a dead dog, just a flea to whatever it is that you're doing. But I will serve the Lord today in the face of my enemy. I see a lot of heralisms with Jesus in the way that he, you know, and I say it all the time, just, you know, being the hands and feet of Jesus, love like Jesus, have the fruits like Jesus, have those fresh, sweet fruits, not sour, rotten ones. And David shows all of that in that one chapter. He shows a lot of that. That's actually the heart string that I have in today's heart work. David was the is the shadow of the substance of Jesus that is to come. Where David was willing to face his enemy and die for the people and for God. Jesus ultimately did. He gave that ultimate sacrifice because if David had killed Saul or treated his descendants unkindly, he would have set up a precedent for a murderous, sinful, rebellious dynasty. He didn't. That's why the dynasty with David is so important and why the stump of Jesse leads to Jesus, because the beginning matters to the end. So to close out our little discussion here, listen to own scripture, right, how it points to Jesus. It says in Galatians five that we live by the spirit. So let us keep in step with the spirit. That is the whole invitation. It's not to run ahead and seize a crown that's not yet yours to wear. It's not to fall back into bitterness or accusations, letting the paranoia, you know, steal your joy. Keep in step with the spirit. And it's one day at a time. And it's one cave at a time, one wilderness, one desert at a time. And so one restraint at a time. Maybe there's something you need to hold back from letting it take over. So we have Saul and we have David, two men, two fears, but two completely different legacies. And the legacy ends with Jesus Christ, not in defeat, but in victory. The victory is already won. There's no reason that we need to go into hiding. There is no reason that we can't stand triumphantly on that hill and say to our enemy, today I will honor and obey the Lord. Dear heavenly father, thank you for your word. Thank you for leaving your fingerprints of your story in this Bible, that we were able to see your sovereignty at work. And I am so, so, so thankful that you didn't just leave us in our mess. I am so thankful that you left us a blueprint to get out of it, that you sent a redeemer, an anointed one, just like David, who sat in the wilderness, who took the persecution and ultimately took your divine wrath. So like David, he was there serving you, right? He was doing everything you've called him to do. And so even today, there might be people walking upright who are doing everything you have called them to do, Lord. And yet all they feel is the enemy lurking at every door, every corner, every cave, ready to pounce. Jesus faced that same fear, that same persecution. But yet he walked in your holiness. He knew there was nothing to fear. He knew there was nothing that could defeat him. David ultimately became alone in that cave, and he chose to follow you. Jesus walked to that cross. He had thousands, five thousands, three thousands, then twelve and then two. And then it was just you and him, Lord, in the garden of Kissimmee. As he had to face, leaving his holiness to embrace your divine wrath for me and for everyone listening. Thank you that today I don't have to fight. I don't have to fight and try to change myself and live under an old covenant or law that says that I'm not enough because you sent a substitution that bore it all for me and for everyone listening. So let me take a page from this playbook and pray to you, seek you and follow you no matter what I'm facing, no matter the circumstances, so that I bring your name, glory, and I walk into your kingdom and wrap my arms around you in Jesus' name. Amen.