No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the puja bhajjo on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. Today we call a guy whose wife is pregnant with their first child. Aw, that's so sweet! She's eight months along right now, so we recently put in a request for paternity leave. He knows his job is pretty crazy, but he needs somebody to step in and cover for him while he's out. And he's a little worried about the company finding a decent replacement. Luckily we're about to put his mind at ease with three excellent candidates to fill his role. At least that's what we think they're excellent. We'll find out what his take is in your phone tap right now. Hello. Hey, Anthony? Uh, yeah, speaking. Hey, this is Louis S. from Corporate HR. I'm calling regarding the request that you sent in for paternity leave. Yes, my wife is eight months pregnant, so we're just looking for a little bit of time off to welcome the little one to the world. First off, congratulations. Thank you, thank you. I'm actually calling to let you know your request has been approved. Seriously? And we have three potential candidates who could step in. That's amazing. I just submitted that request yesterday. I just wanted to move this along as quickly as we could, and I actually have all three candidates already on hold. I'm just going to punch up the first one and let you talk to them. See if he's a good fit. Hey, Ricky there. Oh, wow. What I said, what I said, hello there. Yeah, so that's Rick and Anthony. I have some other stuff to tackle. I'm just going to jump off for a second. You guys can talk and I'll be back in just a little bit, okay? Sure. First off, let me just say that I love the fact that your salesman and your name Tony rhymes with Mone. What? We're going to make a lot of Mone together, friend. You know what? Can you tell me a little bit about your background? I could sell snake oil to a cactus, friend. I actually did sell some of a hemorrhoid cream to a five-year-old at a book fair. He didn't know what he was buying. I'm not entirely sure how that relates to my job at sales. Well, it's got to be selling. I don't care what your age is. I got the sale. I just told that child that it was smart cream. He should put it all over his head, and he did. Wow. It was pretty funny. Hey, fellas. Let me just put you on hold for a second there, Rick, real quick. All right, okay, Lewis. Thank you. So, Anthony, how's it going with Rick? You know, at first blush, I don't know that that guy's going to be the right fit. What? Yeah, he's a little over the top. Well, I just think he has that big magnetic Southern charming personality. Maybe you were a little intimidated by it. Okay, I don't think I was intimidated. No, that's okay. We can just go on to candidate number two. I got someone else for you. Oh, boy. Oh, Jase, hello. Oh, oh, oh, he's Jase, Anthony. Uh, yes. Who am I speaking to? It is I, Rolando. Okay. You are having a baby, no? Yes, actually, yes. Oh, Jase. My wife is eight months pregnant. Oh, which means you must have been playing some type of beautiful sonnet or song while you were conceiving this angel baby child. Oh, oh, oh. For example, when I am making love to a woman, I prefer to put on a baby shark. Oh, my goodness. Baby shark, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, please don't start. A baby shark, you see? Sorry to jump back in on the call. Hopefully it was productive. I don't even know what to say to that, honestly. Rolando, I'm going to put you back on hold there. I will never forget this moment. Okay. Thank you so much. All right. He is gone, but what do you think? He's got winter written all over him, right? Are you kidding me? That guy's a total pervert. What? 100%. He started talking about songs and my wife and, uh, yeah, I know. Oh, I've worked with Rolando for years. That's just him. I don't care if that's just him. I don't want him taking over my account. You're being a little bit more harsh and critical than I thought you would be. I'm coming to you with all these great candidates. These are not great candidates. I don't know what your screening process is, but this is kind of ridiculous. Anthony, you know what? Agree to disagree, but I'm punching up candidate number three right now. Okay. No, no, no, no. I don't know if this is, uh, uh, excuse me. Hello, hoodies. This is Anthony. Who is speaking? My name's Frank, but my mates call me Clover. They call you Clover. Okay. Because I'm lucky to be alone. Is Louis still on the phone? Hello? Look, we don't have time for Louis. I need the codes right now. The code? I have 10 seconds. I need the codes right now. We're at a launch code. Okay. Do you have a resume that you can email me? Seven. Six. Five. I don't have, what, what, what do we talk about? What codes? You want my... Oh, damn it, Anthony. You know what you've done. What have I done? What are you doing? Apparently now I have to wait another 30 seconds before I try to pass it again and get logged into the computer. What the hell is going on here? What's going on, Anthony? You didn't give him the code, so now we have to tell you that this is a prank phone call. Wait a minute. Yeah. Are you serious? Are you messing with me right now? No, dude. We don't work at your company. We're from a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. I'm Jeff. That's Jose. What's up, brother? Oh my God. Are you serious? Your wife, Marie, set you up for a prank call. No way! I am sweating bullets right now. I was also sweating when I talked to Marie. Now I see my friend. Oh, my heart is beating out of my chest. I'm real. Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachon on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire.
