Welcome to Obsessed, where Mika, Tia and I challenge the thoughts that limit you, where we provide the tools for transformation, be prepared to be swept away into the raw power of obsession, unlocking secrets and stories behind the insatiable hunger for growth and change. This is more than just a podcast, this is your story. It is a manifesto for those who refuse to settle, who dare to dream and who are relentless in the pursuit of living a great life. Get obsessed with your life. Hello, welcome back to your number one favorite personal development podcast. My name is Mika, I am your host today. On today's tiny episode, it's called Proximity Doesn't Equal Loyalty. A gentle reminder and awareness that people who are physically close to us, family, coworkers, longtime friends, since elementary, middle school neighbors who live right next to us, these people can love us. They can cook for us, they can pick up our dry cleaning, they can house sit for us while we go on vacation, but that closeness doesn't automatically mean they'll cheer for our growth. What does that look like? That looks like maybe you want to go back for another degree, but you have a family to raise. Maybe that looks like you finally want to do your dream of doing a profession that you've never done before and that's going to be some growth and learning involved. Maybe it means working out for the first time because you haven't worked out in forever. That's also growth. Sometimes those people that love us the most, they won't cheer us for that growth. It doesn't make them bad people. Just a new thing that you're wanting to do, it doesn't align for what they see for you. And that's okay. And it's okay for you to notice that. I recently watched this play out in real time with someone I love. They had an idea. They are messy, they're imperfect, but this person is full of possibility. I believed in them enough to help. I didn't expect assistance and I certainly didn't expect it to come from the people right around them. A trusted voice planted doubt to this person. Suddenly, the person that asked for my help was wavering in their faith in themselves. This person almost quit after one conversation from someone who loves them. But here's the thing. You don't always recognize those slow persuasive doubts because they're wrapped and concerned. I'm so concerned for you. Do you think you should do that? What about the family? What about your coworkers? What about your boss? Should you really take that extra class? Should you really go to the gym after work? What about your dogs at home? What about your aunt that you have to pick up? Their doubt is wrapped in emotion or a memory of how things always were. Or maybe they want to keep things the way they're used to seeing it. It feels like love though. It sounds convincing and because it comes from somebody close, we're prone to accept it as truth. My dad is looking out for me. No, my best friend? No, she's only concerned for me. No, my mom? Of course my mom is looking out for my best interests. Why wouldn't we accept all of that as truth when they blanket their doubt in love? Right? Don't they love us? Well, of course they do. What I want you to walk away with today's episode is simple and kind. Awareness is everything. Want to make you suspicious of everyone, but to give you tools so you can protect momentum. The momentum that you've worked so hard for. The hope that is in your mind, your heart, your spirit, and that small, brave energy, spirit within you so that you always bet on yourself. What are the signs someone close to you might not actually be acting your highest interest? Check this out. They generalize your identity. Instead of addressing the plan, they say things like, you're not a business person. Or you never follow through. That takes a conversation from that idea into a conversation about your whole identity. Also they root their argument in fear rather than curiosity. They push what could go wrong without asking what could go right or offering practical support to you. They can also give their advice in a way that it discourages like your experimentation. They insist on the one safe path. Stay to your job. You don't need to venture out into another career field or another path, even though it's one that you've always wanted to go into. Stay in what safe? Or why do you need to go to the gym after work? You're tired. You're exhausted. You're burned out after working. Just come home. Like you need to take care of yourself. Just come home. Don't worry about going to the gym. Maybe you go some other time, but when you get off from work, come straight home. Eat a nice comforting meal. Just relax. Doesn't that sound wrapped in love? It sounds like it's wrapped in love to me or they'll use emotion to amplify the doubt. They'll use guilt. They'll use shame or panic. Like what would the neighbors think or something of a sort rather than calm, useful questions? Another thing they'll try to do is they'll try to control outcomes by talking someone out of small bets that would actually give them data and momentum. If you hear those things, don't panic. This isn't about villainizing the people you love and who also love you. It's about building clarity so you can keep moving. Here are three simple loving actions you can take when this shows up. Pause and name it. Take a breath and say to yourself or out loud, I noticed that made me feel small. Maming the reaction gives you a second to decide whether to act or fold. Point number two, ask one clarifying question. Instead of debating, ask, what do you see that worries you most? Or if this goes well, what would that look like to you? Clarity dissolves a lot of fear. Point number three, make a tiny bet. Ask your momentum by doing a low risk test that proves or disproves the worry. Small wins are powerful antidotes to other people's doubts. Finally, celebrate when the brave bet works. Momentum is magnetic. When you take action and something shifts, even a little honor it. It builds confidence in you and shows the people around you that motion creates results. I want you to leave with one last encouragement. Proximity doesn't equal loyalty, but you can cultivate loyalty to your dream, to your process and to yourself. When you do, the right people will show up. The others will teach you something important about boundaries and discernment. If this episode landed for you, share one small gem that you got from today. Or tell us at the Get Obsessed podcast a small win or victory that you had. Or with someone you'll cheer on. Momentum loves company. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time. Thank you for listening to another episode of Obsessed. We're obsessed with you. Show your love by rating, reviewing, subscribing and sharing with your friends. Every time you share, you are changing someone else's life. Until we meet again, get obsessed with your life.
