Bowling for Columbine | Son of a Boy Dad #375

Hey, son of a boy, dad listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm going to be funny as fuck today. I'm in a mood. I know, I love it. I listened to some hardcore rap coming in. Yeah, what were you listening to? Getting myself fucking stoked. What were you bumping? I'm going to have to look up the name of the guy. Who's that hardcore? I don't even know. You didn't know what you were listening to? I was listening to Goat Stamp by Stove God Cooks Oh, I don't know who that is You listen to the Stove God? Do you know who that is? I mean, I'm familiar with him SGC? Stove God Cooks? Yeah I was listening to Sludge Mother Yeah, that's a good one Sludge Mother goes so fucking hard I don't know if I'm familiar with any of these people This isn't rap though Sludge Mother is more like Like hardcore Like tool Yeah It's like hardcore But it's a woman I've been listening to a lot of tool lately I've been listening to some Cole J. Cole Sure Nice Yeah Some Cole again That's hardcore I think he's back I saw him with Benny the Butcher yesterday The Butcher? And J. Cole were together That's great Our brother I love that duo Our former collaborator I mean the Butcher It's hard to beat Yeah he invited you Into his house with open arms Exactly Into his studio Exactly. What else was I listening to? Go ahead. Of course. I had other stuff that I had going on. You finally talk. Loosen the bell a little bit. Really? Right. Oh, SD Kid. SD Card? I've been listening to SD Kid. Who's that? Is that British? SD Kid? I think he's the guy that collaborated with Shally. I like that. Is that British rap? Shally? Oh, yeah, yeah. Fairly sure Shally did a drop a verse on that. I don't know. I don't know any of his music. I'd only know this LMA song. Atreides? You don't? I don't know who that is. See, now he knows how it feels. We son of a guy heap. Come on now. Let's go. I don't want to hear you speaking one conventional sentence today. Young boy never broke again. Come on now. All right. These are the hits. All right. Welcome back to the Son of a Boy Dad podcast. It's February 11th, noon. HQ3. on the dot welcome back i wish i could walk up on francis listening to some nba young boy in his car same swaley mike will made it oh yeah i'll give you i'll give you a new reel for your rod if you can spell mike will made it the way that he spells it a new reel for your rod is there like trick letters oh there's all kinds of stuff brother man okay i'm gonna go m i am i wrong already no okay no by the way i don't mean to confuse you with what i said it's about the capitalizations and random hyphens yeah i'm not gonna be able to get that so capital m lowercase i capital l lowercase i would assume lowercase l or i or uppercase i it looks like mike is completely normal we're already that's a government name and then will is when things started to go off the rails. Capital W, lowercase I, capital L, capital L. Space. Made is normal, but then it's hyphen it. He's the best. It's as if he was born Mike Will Made, but his mother was a feminist, last name it, and demanded that his name was hyphenated. She's just a lawyer. She's just a first wave feminist academic. Yeah. We've got Smith and Jingba. Yeah. And you've got made it. Yeah, exactly. Classic. Whenever you see a football player with a hyphenated name, you know they're going to be nice for a couple reasons. You know the mom was tough as nails and wouldn't take no for an answer. That's right. And you know the dad was in their life. Yes. An amazingly progressive combination. You're not wrong. It's a good point. Isn't that a great point? Yeah. I guess that's not really an indicator of success. Smith and Jigba, though, locked down. Right. Gonzo had his paws all over him. He hit his head pretty hard. Did he? Oh, yeah. He disappeared for a quarter and a half. Are you spin-zoning it? Yeah, no, he did. Which do you think goes first? I just thought Gonzo had him in a box that whole time. It's like he's not on the field. The guy goes first every time? I don't know. That all depends who's making more money. Yeah. I think it fluctuates. It actually bounces. It can switch. Every year. And Jigba Smith. and jake was smith doing it yeah yeah yeah i have jerseys from when his when his mom went back to work and um that was when they weren't sure if he was gonna make it it was rookie season he was still on a rookie deal and she was like i'm picking up night shifts again son you better start hitting some go routes mike will it made that honestly goes hard I don't hate that at all I think we should come out as that artist you think he could have any type of litigation against us for that? I would assume yeah probably Will might get made? Will it get made? Will am I? Will am I? From the Black Peed Eyes I forgot that they were in the same they're related Will am I? Will Will Am I? Well, you are. Yeah. This is good. This is good podcasting. This is what it's all about. Yes. This is what they had in mind when they created the Shure 700s. What are those? The microphones they were using. Oh, wow. I don't know if it's 700. I just guessed. I didn't realize you. I thought you boys would at least know the equipment you're using. No, I just know that every time under our podcast, they're saying, make podcast equipment more expensive. Oh, yeah. I just see that every time. I take all of this for granted. the whole thing yeah even the this will be here forever yeah what do you mean what we're saying or just whatever we want our structure our playground the equipment free producers this will never fail hey guys i have an idea make it yeah this will last forever this will last forever when you left barstool briefly for whatever reason um did you feel did you feel an absence of that i forget i don't forget exactly no we went julio and i went into um we went into that uh bnh photo store oh yeah the one that is uh run by the hasidic jews yeah they got all the tech there and that's not a mean thing to say there's no commentary there that's just true why would there be me why would that be mean well i'm just trying to avoid all the stuff you guys been throwing around. All the fucking... I added a blue square to my profile. Bad shit that the two of you... I've got the blue square up right now. Yeah, what's that supposed to mean? Back the Jews. Oh! A thin Jew line. Yeah, exactly. I don't think the blue square... Yeah, you didn't see the Super Bowl commercial? That's what they're doing now. It's the blue square. Blue square. I thought that was back cops. No. Fund the PD. Not anymore. But the red square is anti-Semitic which has the firefighters in the behind. Oh, shoot. Do we have to be? I can't. Do you want to wear the uniform? Yeah, we went to B&H Photo and I remember I had just told Julio that I wanted to start a podcast and he was like, cool. And then we went in there and I spent $17,500. And he was like, huh. Okay. I mean, they were like following me. I was just like supermarket sweep saying like, surely we need a wireless mic for when we go out into the wild. Top of the line better be. We had a shopping cart in an electronics store. Bought three cameras, three 4K cameras. By the way, I just said to Julia, I was like, here, let's, all I ask is that like we, our ads that we get, you know, fill me. And then once we're through that, we'll split everything 50. And we did it in, I don't know, a couple months probably. Not bad. Yeah. It was the right thing. We had to do it. Yeah. Yeah. I am of the mindset of buy once, cry once. Yeah. Is that the saying? I don't know. I've never heard it. Buy one, get one. yeah looking for what he was so what's the thinking behind that a i don't want to buy a middle tier and then get tired of it and not need to upgrade again i'm going for the top of the line you want the big one give me the up give me the top dog so that i never have to upgrade yeah no i know that's what i did with my pc i future-proofed it future-proof yeah that's what they call it that's the japanese denim of pcs exactly so i don't need a new one for like probably another they're like five ten years probably sooner than 10 years do you see probably sooner than five years there's no way i'm not upgrading my pc in five years but i don't have to five years five years i'd be good i think unless there's a massive technology change now there would have to be some major developments in the tech world ddr6 what do you oh as if that doesn't happen yeah that never they're done oh no that shit's over they're done innovating ai is over have you ever have you guys even i haven't even heard of anyone talking about it why does that have to come in i don't run even talking about that you bring it up every time we talk because it goes hand in hand the pc world you have to buy some new shit yeah i was just talking about tech in general i'm pretty confident that pc tech is going to be evolving at light speed it's slowing down why because of ai Okay. Because they don't want to work. Like NVIDIA, the biggest graphics card maker, they just announced they're not making graphics cards anymore. Really? Yeah. They're just pumping everything into AI. Just pumping it. Yeah, okay. That shopkeeper at the Hasidic Best Buy must have been fucking licking his chops. Oh, he was twirling his curls. They make some... Sorry, what were you saying? Something anti-Semitic. No, no, no. I think he was just excited. He almost choked on his matzo ball soup and his gefilte fish and latkes. Yeah, we spent $17.50. I had it on a new credit card, so I had to unlock. It was a brand new credit card. I had three months to spend, $6,000. I was like, hold my beer. Yeah, double it. And you get a whole bunch of points or miles or something. Yeah, they're matching MQDs, I heard. Yeah. Well, today's our last day, boys. I thought it was tomorrow. Tomorrow, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. We can't know. i think it's tomorrow did you look a lot of flights to book today you better you had better my boy i'm so pissed i have no travel plan and i was trying to explain it to my wife and she's like why are you beeping at me she's like mqds like i'm fucking r2d2 talking to her she didn't want to hear it yeah they don't know what wants to hear about mqds somehow we persist though yeah wait mamon right is that how you say that yeah that is an they make unbelievable baked goods the chocolate chip cookies i said this to a babysitter of mine she was like i don't really like them i was like what yeah fire grass in the spot i'll look after my own seed you know they make good cookies when you buy the hat yes dude i bought the merchandise for the fucking bakery jesus all right i gotta remember this give me a shirt give me an apron yeah they're so good they're such soft incredible there's one at uh penn station there's one at moynihan i would bet that's not their best it's not but it's still very very nice best chocolate chip cookie i've ever had is the one they saw on the amtrak oh my god harry for fuck's sake i'm just gonna be honest it comes in a plastic wrapper it's so good oh my god whatever they're putting it's like mostly salt there's some toffee in there it's so fucking good there's some good bites i don't think i've ever eaten anything that it was like i lost control of myself that fast it was like after one bite i was in a trance. What do you mean you lost control? You spasmed? It's a massive cookie. It's like this big. And I ate it in probably like 15 seconds. You wolfed it down? Yeah, it was like I need to see if I can fit all of it in my mouth at the same time. I want to experience all of this cookie. I also think sometimes foods taste better if you're in a dire circumstance. Oh, yeah. If you're trapped on like an Amtrak. If you're moving. Yeah. If something about the motion that, I don't know, it layers the seasoning better. Definitely. I agree. I remember Esquire Magazine one year, they had one of their dumb lists, but it was like walking while you're in a train or a car is fine, but they said walking while eating is a niche niche. Really? Really? What do you guys think about walking while you're eating? I love a walk and eat. I do too. I almost feel like it's healthier. I think it is. Yeah. It goes down smoother. They tell you to walk after you eat, and I'm like, well, why not put the cart on the horse? Why not before, during, and after? Yeah, exactly. What kind of food are we talking about? I'll eat anything, man. Walking? Just killing two birds with one stone. While you walk? I mean, I've seen Francis eat a salad while walking. Sure have. Yeah. Sometimes I get my salad and I'm so hungry I can't make it back to the office. It's a block and a half. That's insane. You're the only person that's ever had that issue. I got to get my hands in this salad immediately. A blessing and a curse, you know? My metabolism is screaming at me. Yeah. You know what a weirdly high amount of people do is eat cereal while they're driving. eat a bowl of cereal in their car that's weird you have no hands that's dangerous that's the always sunny thing where he they they slam on the brakes and the cereal goes everywhere glenn howard and said that that actually happened to him when he was on the way to start they were on there it was on their way to the writer's room and he was get a cereal and he he like had like had to slam on the brakes and the cereal went everywhere well how do people do that why would you have floating milk without a top i don't know like that's so fucking insane but it's kind of popular that people do it. Did I tell you guys that I ate an entire large bag of on-shell pistachios while I was driving? No, it's not even like an easy food to eat while driving. That... What? It's not even like that easy of a food to eat while driving. Well, that's the exact point I'm making. Oh, okay. All right. I got the point. I'm just shocked that you were able to do that. Well, can you crack a pistachio with one hand? Like I couldn't think of a more inconvenient food If you just didn't say even Like that sentence would have worked Hence why I brought it up We're on the theme of difficult foods To eat while driving I didn't put it together You would have been agreeing with him if you didn't say even But you kind of tried to one up him at his own I thought you were saying that as like I ate a lot of pistachios You thought he was bragging Yeah I thought you were bragging about the amount of pistachios that you ate I didn't understand that you were like Yeah I still don't even know like I would rather eat a fucking pistachio anything else off shell well I mean the cereal is the same because you need both hands I cannot crack a pistachio with one hand I'm not god what about an egg with one hand maybe I mean on a ledge or something yeah like a side of a metal mixing bowl of course who can't do that I think there's some people who need both hands and then once it's cracked to separate it then you're a chef. You need to have that con easy. Finger dexterity. I was cracking these pistachios and I then used my cup holder as my catch-all for the shells. Oh, yeah. That scumbag. And then when I finally got home, this is when I drove into the city for that one spot of the cellar and then had to drive all the way back upstate. And so when I got back upstate, I cleaned out the cup holder. But, man, I'll tell you, there's a lot of filament. shrapnel yeah there's there's like a stringiness of a pistachio show when you really get down to to the nitty-gritty yeah the vacuum out if anyone got in the car at any point after that day they'd say boy the person who drives this car fucking loves pistachios it reeked of pistachio you could just see you knew exactly what was in the cup holders have you guys ever had like a bad pistachio like a like a rotten one yes i've had it's disgusting like soft yeah and they don't they have no bite to them i remember one of the first time i had one of those i remember biting into it and i got like the only way to describe it is like i got like tunnel vision like like i remember like everything just like sharpening and being like oh i was like what the fuck is this because it's like you're you're on the roll you know you're just popping you're just going and then out of nowhere it's like dog shit in your mouth. It's like you'll get the shivers like two fucking pieces of styrofoam. Literally, yeah. You'll be like, oh. You feel it throughout the whole body. Right. It's nasty. I know you didn't get any. No, this was a good batch, and I did have a few that wouldn't open, though. Oh, yeah. And you got to be careful with those because if you end up eating those, you can get really sick. I'll put them between two teeth and kind of crack them. I think I'm thinking of muscles. Yeah. You're thinking of muscles. I'm thinking of a clam. I'm thinking of red tide. I'll be honest, I don't even know what that is, so explain. A muscle? Well, I know what a muscle is, but if you eat an uncracked muscle, they're dangerous. If you cook muscles and one of them doesn't open, you shouldn't eat it. Well, how would you even swallow? How would you even... I usually just get in there with a hammer. Oh, you... Crack that thing open. Yeah? Like a stone crab? Yeah, exactly. I thought you were talking about swallowing an entire muscle. I thought you were just like being like, yeah, that can hurt your stomach if you swallow the shell. I thought you were like a pelican. Now, when I'm preparing for war, I do eat pistachios with the shell on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just get it all in there. Just want to toughen my stomach up. Yeah, for your shit. That's smart. People do that. It's like power washing the fat off the inside of your tummy. People eat tails or shrimp. Power washing everything off the inside of your tummy. You just got the raw tummy after that, after eating a bunch of shells. Bourdain would be like, I have a strong stomach. Like, I can handle, like, this tails of a shrimp. But I think that's fucking disgusting, and it doesn't, it's, like, not nice. You could easily just be like... Yeah, also, it's not good. It's bad. It's bad. It's like, yeah, I mean, I'm sure you can handle those tails of a shrimp, but you could also just easily avoid them and enjoy the shrimp. Right, you don't have to do that. No one's like, oh, you gotta eat the tails. You're not fully... I mean, the tail completely masks all of the taste. It would ruin it. It's like eating it with a plastic wrap around it. I'm just thinking about the tales of a shrimp being some like saga the canterbury tales of a shrimp of a shrimp that you know wanted to be more than a shrimp let me tell you the tale they're foul creatures on the ocean floor when you see them moving about they just bounce I thought that they like they're kind of just floating around I don't know I've never been there they're disgusting you could probably like free dive to like 20 30 feet though i think you could hold your i think you have the lung capacity to hit some shit like that i get a little spooked going that deep the water pressure too you know yeah i can clear my ears i'm pretty good at that but there's something about getting all the way down there where you're like i don't know if i can get back i hate that feeling i used to get that feeling in the pool yeah yeah in the deep end i don't know if i'm getting back i think i might be out down here forever yeah how deep was that pool probably like eight feet oh have you ever been in like a 14 foot yeah yeah that scary dude i i used to take swimming lessons in like our town pool and i would do i would go to that one And I literally used to be like afraid of like sharks in that pool because it was so fucking deep I get it. I was like, I don't know. You can't see the bottom. I don't know what's down there. Shrimp. Yeah. Probably some shrimp. Yeah. Without a doubt. Lobsters maybe. But you go to like a college's swimming pool or something where like the high dives are. Have you ever even been up onto the highest dive, much less jumped from it? I've never been on any of them. i'm i'm terrified of that i've done it yeah i have you've jumped off of it oh sure sure damn well pencil dive i've told this before but we we had to do the program with coach kapitulik he was a force recon marine of course known for repelling off of helicopters onto enemy ships and then fighting his way to the bridge to take over the boat yeah that's pretty hardcore that's what he did when was that legit and then one day during a training exercise his helicopter as they were coming back to the aircraft carrier came up short and the wheel hooked into the netting on the side of the aircraft carrier and the entire helicopter tipped into the ocean and half of his crew died oh no and so then he dedicated the rest he's dedicated the rest of his life to like uh raising basically raising money and running programs to ensure that the children of all of his team will never have to pay for college oh that's nice good man calls it the program but this was our strength and conditioning coach for a week prior to our season. And at 5.30 in the morning, we had to meet. Doesn't sound like he would be an easy strength and conditioning coach. We had to meet at Blodgett Pool, 5.30 a.m. I remember the janitor being like, these fucking kids. Opening it up for us. Dark. Dark in September. Wait, Blodgett, like Henry Blodgett? Yes. Really? Do we know that? I don't know that at all. Bob Lodge is the guy that tried to take down Barstool, isn't he? Oh, yeah. That's the guy Dave would call Henry Blowdick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, he's a big pool constructor. That's his other... When he's not fighting wars with Dave. He's like the business insider, man, but that's how he made it. Side hustle. I thought he was the... Yeah, you're right. You're right. But that's how he made his fortune. Yeah. A pool shark. Yeah. The deep end. Right. I actually created the deep end. For me, everybody could stand. And I thought, that's too easy. Inventing the deep end. I don't know if you guys know this, but the second highest cause of paralysis in America is people diving into pools. And breaking their necks on the... And then I said, what if we went three feet deeper? Yeah. I want to go deeper. Someone did ride the deep end. This will never work. There's not enough water. Deeper. you went to so you went to blodgett skateboarders loved it in the off season finally they could get more air uh we went to we went to blodgett it was it was the it was the fall it was like uh right when we got to school sophomore year and we had to go down there at 5 30 in the morning and i remember we didn't know what was coming and there was coach cap and he was standing on the diving board with his shirt off at 5 30 and i'd never seen that before yeah i'd never seen you i'd never seen a coach coaching us shirtless yeah and i was like oh that's not good and he had a whistle and he looked like a lifeguard who was gonna fucking rape us and uh we had to wear full sweats tops and bottoms and then tread water in the pool and then one of the hardest things we had to do was it's like navy seal shit yeah we had to take our our sweatshirts off in the water while we're treading water and then flip them inside out and then put them back on all while treading water and there were a few guys on our team who fundamentally could not swim they just could not swim dan cheese de maria i'll never forget couldn't swim and i'm looking at him and i'm like hey hello hello yeah he's uh he's doing that gargling thing where like half the air is water in his lungs and coach cap was like solve it he's your teammate so then me and my buddy greg had to take turns yeah going to the bottom of the pool and standing so that cheese could stand on our shoulders while he did it that's crazy and then i'm letting cheese drown if i'm in that spot that can't be the best way to save cheese all we had it was all we had they you they just don't do shit like that anymore like that doesn't that just can't happen if that happened today there would be like articles in the new york times like harvard lacrosse program drowning i think he'd be surprised i i think there's stuff like that happening i think there's just like you don't talk about it i mean that's crazy one of the dudes can't swim and people are lifting him out of the water hoisting him above air so he can but why can't they just tread next to him and like hold him up as opposed to you have to he has to stand on you is like he couldn't do it we couldn't you couldn't hold someone while you were treading water we we needed our arms oh so you couldn't even just like have them lay on you as you like waded backwards like a baby no what if someone would if you just like what if you just like back just put them in a basket and float them up the river or anything what if you just hit a back float the whole time and you're just cool as a cucumber no they were they were on us about that and we had to do uh there were all kinds of i mean we worked out in the pool we were in the pool for an hour and a half that's in full sweats that's hell it was crazy and then you had to jump off the top top skydive once once we finished we got to fool around on the on the platform i didn't know if the coach made you do it no everyone on the high dive now then it got fun when people were like sending flips and shit yeah but i don't know if we went all the way to the top i don't remember i think so scary i don't know if people were doing flips off the top probably that's too high what school is it where is it like the stanford swimming team or stanford diving team where they do that and they're doing like insane dives and like the whole school is there cheering them on it's not even a diving contest i don't know they all go in a row? I think the Naval Academy does that. Really? Oh, really? Yeah, I think they have to jump off. I wouldn't be able to do that. I wouldn't be able to get myself to jump off. Well, you have to. Have you guys been watching the Olympics? No. No? Just a couple events. I'll put it on the background. I'm not watching front to back on an event. I've been watching front to back. I've been watching a lot of the Olympics. Really? Yeah. What are you liking? Inter-Olympics. What's going on that you like? Well, it's been a ton of the figure skating, which I'm not huge on, but I've grown to appreciate it. It's a girl's sport. Appreciate the art. It's definitely a girl's sport. But don't we have a star? We got a couple stars. Don't we have a boy star? The quad god. I think you're referring to the quad god. Pat McAfee? McAfee's figure skating? Oh, no. Quad god's new name. Just gonna go down here. I don't know. I forget. His name's like Illy. I forget what his name is. Illy. But yeah, he can do a backflip. Oh, cool. Yeah, it's pretty sick. Is it Ilya? Yeah. Hmm. I cannot imagine. I mean, I guess it's easier if you're going faster to do a backflip. I think he's the only one that's ever really done it. No, that's not right. It was banned. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah. There was like a girl that did it like years ago, but it was banned while she did it. So she got qualified. Yeah. Yeah. She hit her head. That's such a flex. Yeah. And they started making the skating rinks deeper. Oh, no. they started making it out of unfrozen ice you're like clearly this isn't safe they just had to skate on water yeah it's dangerous flush it up watch i watched the skiing the bobsledding lugeing big air half pipe that's cool but the problem always for me is that i never know when things are airing that i want it's because they're all it's on at like 5 a.m yeah so if you just tune in randomly and you're like all right it's the second heat of a fucking speed skating thing i i can't watch the speed skating all right i'll watch five minutes of this and now i don't care yeah you just got to get into it like you just got to really submerge yourself in just be like i love this fucking country yeah yeah we're not doing that hot on the metal count though norway always beats us yeah but maybe that's because there's been a lot of the nordic skiing early i don't know what it is They dominate the Nordic Sea. The Asians are winning everything. Japan and China are just destroying everything. Well, look. They're so tiny. They're just flying around the ice. Aren't there medals that mean more than other medals? Yes. Don't we care a lot about the halfpipe and the cool skiing stuff? I don't know if we're going to win any of that shit. Well, there's the Australian guy. No, it's Japanese dudes. Well, they're going to challenge him. In what sport? Halfpipe. the half pipe snowboarding half pipe it'll be Japan they're gonna get our asses maybe they're just dude they're tiny and they I don't think Japanese are tiny I think that that's like a false or maybe just the snowboard bro I'm watching the games yeah they're three feet shorter than everyone else out there yeah and they're doing fucking quadruple backflips like it's nothing yeah on SSX Tricky there was a Japanese dude that fucking flew they're built different there's one Japanese figure skater this dude he did a little dance to some like jazz song it was pretty sick i fucked with it nice did you see the one guy came in third place and then he said that he cheated on his girlfriend of six months he immediately admitted it what he said he said three months into our six month relationship i cheated what do you mean why would he say that at the highest at the biggest moment of his entire life what's that about can you look for that exact quote it was fucking insane it was the biggest moment of his life and i don't know if it's because he came in third he was like forced to admit it like a fantasy football punishment could have been or if he just wanted to get it off his chest six yeah he committed social suicide as a show of love is he american no norwegian boy that's a weird thing that's bad that's a weird thing i don't know if the girlfriend's like appreciating that she's probably like why did you tell anybody that because i know each other she's like i cheated too we weren't a thing i haven't even met your parents it's six months and he said three months in i cheated that was like halfway through and it's been three months of trying to get her back so he was with a girl for three months cheated and then just spent the other half of the relationship like committing public seppuku over it wow yeah he said maybe i'm dumb as a rock i have a mensa iq but i do stupid stuff this guy sounds like dr seuss isn't that what you said after the dave's book situation i don't think i said anything of the kind i'm joking but i will say that i did cheat on my girlfriend three months after the book and maybe i'm stupid for saying that but that's iq if we were getting published i wouldn't have admitted yeah dave made you do this yes if i won gold none of you would have known this yeah well that's so fucking insane it's fun to watch though the guy running uphill at six mile six mile an hour pace is fucking sick that was crazy dude the the cross country i watched the cross country skiing it's actually not as boring as you would think it is i don't really it doesn't really make sense like you can't you can't really pass people which i don't like it feels like there's a pretty big disadvantage that was the race in the first minute the race is over as second it starts no that can't be dude you can't like it's like impossible to pass people unless people are people if they like go down no they're in the dude that it's like you can pass people i guess when they're doing like the freestyle part that part but the part where they're in the grooves yeah you're just you're just stuck behind the person in front of you right but but you can exit the grooves to to go around no i think but it's it's it doesn't really look like anyone's exiting the grooves they're locked in there it's fun to watch but my problem with some of the sports is where it's like technical technically based that i can't tell what's good like i don't know in a figure skating routine that's how the figure skating is gymnastics it's like okay why was that the perfect one and like why is another one yeah yeah because everything i watch i'm like that seemed pretty good to me yeah and then they're like that was actually a disaster yeah wait he didn't fall over yeah well that's what we have those announcers for right yeah yeah that's good i think in the figure skating it's just as simple as who can jump the most times with the most spins without falling yeah what i don't understand but it's all about like the landings and shit true but what i don't understand about figure skating is how every single one of them can do that thing where they just spin in place on the ice and put their head out kind of yeah yeah go crazy like that it's tasmanian devil and that's never that that's never something that anyone is impressed by and all of them can do it and there's never a problem with that move i mean i think it's filler to be honest it is filler yeah they have to be they have a certain amount of time they got to be out there you can only do so many big spins but is there a version of that that's harder than others like maybe when they take their leg and they go like that that's what i was gonna say when they grab their foot. Yeah, they grab their foot. That looks a little harder. Yeah, but there's probably only like, there's probably certain elements that you have to hit. I know like a floor routine of gymnastics, it's like this part has to be a fucking flip across the middle and this part has to be like a little sass, shaking ass. Yeah. They are always sassy. Oh, big time. It'd be fun to be one of the other girls on the team that's just like, yes. Do you think that every man that does it is, like what do you think the percentage of them are gay? A hundred. I don't know, though. And I was wondering because I was like, I feel like they should say at Penn State. I wrote. Why? Because I almost feel like. All right. He's from Des Moines, Iowa. He's a top. And I feel like you should know. He's a top honor. I feel like they should say because if you're not gay, I'm going to give you a couple more points. Not because I'm against the gay people. But it's impressive to get in. It's like. To crack the code. Okay, like the gay guy obviously was really good and probably better, but he should be good. He's supposed to be good. Wondering how you're going to park that car. The straight guy, he's probably not as good, but he's also like everyone's probably just dogging him at home. All of his friends are like, give this shit up. Do you know how hard it is to balance figure skating practice with fishing with my dad? Yeah, exactly. Do you have any idea what it was like? I have to watch football on the weekends. Do you get it? That's so much less time to train. And not a big advantage. It's a separate locker room for me. Yeah. I don't think it doesn't have to be a big advantage, but I think maybe just like two points. I think it's like a white defensive back. Exactly. It's like, yeah, we're not built for this shit, so it's a little bit cooler to see Cooper DeGene out there playing. Exactly. Yeah, you're like, look, he did it. It'd be funny to hear someone justify why gay people are better at figure skating in the same way that some risky half-racist people justify why black people are better athletes, linking it back to slavery. Well, a lot of people don't know this, but when you stretch your asshole, the aerodynamics of the spin actually propels you faster. I feel like if I was like... His hard cock sliced through the air. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I've said enough. I've said enough on the topic. Trust me, I added a flourish there that I don't think will get you in any trouble. I think you're good, dude. I think that there's something to it. I don't even think, I'm not even meaning it in like a homophobic way at all. Well, that's how it came off. No, I think it's honestly like, I think of it more as like a handicap in golf. No, that's not that kind. Like the straight guys, I think they need a little bit of a boost. Right, right. Just say like, hey, we know you don't want to wear the bedazzled jumpsuit. like it's probably pretty awkward for you out there in that at the biggest moment of your entire career a single body we're gonna give you a couple extra points for that for keeping your head down and following the rules like he wants to go out there and like cart hard yeah like he wants to go out there like work work wear his favorite team packets rolled up in the t-shirt fucking eagle jersey yeah i get it uh now let's talk about aura frames aura frames is probably one of the best gifts to give because it is a no-brainer you can get to the frame and you can get them to anywhere that they can add photos and videos it's super simple it's so cool so say you buy one for your like family member or something like that you buy one for your mom you can populate her frame with fun pictures of whatever's going on in your life or memories you have together setup's easy takes two minutes. 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They were the most jacked and most athletic dudes, maybe on campus. But I'd say like 75% of them were gay. Yeah. Just like super gay. But it was more impressive. You like see a guy that's just like not gay at all. It's just like, yeah, you've conquered something that these guys were born into. Yeah. There's probably a lot of dudes that, yeah, want to go into gymnastics and they're scared. Yeah. We're here to tell them that you're not alone. They're too afraid to admit that they like pussy. Yeah, exactly. It's a very like... There were closeted straight guys on the team too. If you tell anybody I'm straight, I'll fucking lose my fucking spot in the lineup. Don't say a thing. Hey, guys. He hasn't looked at me once. I'm starting to think he's not for real. No, he's fucking straight. He's fucking weird. um i wanted to say that it's been i think what about a month now and uh you guys still haven't worn your sweaters once dude that's so weird that you bring that up i literally had mine this morning and i was like maybe i'll wear this today and you didn't it was too warm i put it on it was too warm yeah yeah too warm compared to that fucking fur thing you got on literally you're saying the weather was too warm though the sweater it's very warm like i gotta wear it on like a really cold day. Well, we're through those. Well, I mean, it's the middle of February. I think we've probably got more on the way. I don't know, man. We had our cold spell. You had your chance to wear your rat sweater. I like my mollusk sweater. I also have worn mine, just not on the pod. I saw Roan's listed on Poshmark. New with tags. Brand new rat sweater straight from New Zealand. Authentic New Zealand rat. 100% Merino rat. Imagine. I said I was a rat selling it. I was like, this is from my personal collection straight off my back just it didn't go with the silhouette of pants that i have i just gotta wear a better if you don't want yours i'll take it what do you mean i want no because you're gonna keep on you know you lied about taking home the louis ck book it's still on his desk no way what are you fucking talking should i go down and get it right now no do you want me to get it that's crazy i don't even care about the louis book i'm on to the sweaters i think what we should do is i'll wear both of it everybody on the bush team in sweaters rat sweaters they would love that and i'm wearing mine right now this is my rat this well yeah this is my rat sweater so i put mine on today i was like maybe there's a chance that they'll both wear theirs you definitely got the nicest one though let's be real what do you mean that one's really nice well yours are yours were just as expensive yeah but you got like the the pattern what do you do you want this one no i like mine mine's good i like mine too but i Why do you never wear it then? I think you would look good in that one. Why do you never wear yours? I wear it. I'm just waiting for the right silhouette of pants. That's fucked up. That's fucked up. I'll trade you my sweater for 48 text messages. You have to respond immediately. Make him a counter. Make him a counter. No. I just really want Roan to wear his. Wow, he said no to this. Can't even do it. Can't even fucking text me back for a sweater. I'll give you the 48 for free. I'll give you the 48 for free. Yeah, right. Yeah, we'll see. For the period of five years. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see about that. And they have to be you text first. All right. Not like the 19-minute phone call I had with him yesterday. Oh, shit. That he initiated. Damn. That's good to hear. No, I didn't want to make you jealous. No, that's okay. How'd that go? Is everything okay? Yeah, everything's great. He just wanted to chop it up. No, no. I was asking him a question about work. Yeah? About work bullshit. It was basically a meeting, honestly. It was a meeting. Who the best person. I classify that as a meeting. Yeah. Like when I get off the phone, I'm like, yeah, I was just on a meeting I'd wrapped up. Oh, nice. I could tell that you were treating it like a meeting. You guys want to have a meeting after this? I could sit down. I wouldn't mind like just breaking bread, having some oatmeal. Talk logistics and whatnot. Yeah, I could do. I'll just finish my oatmeal. I've been having them in cups. Wow. That's unfortunate. It's kind of nice, honestly. I like the way it cooks in a tube like that as opposed to a bowl. Yeah, I like to bowl though. Bowling for Columbine. Yeah, you did. Bowling for soup? Yeah. Bolster. What the fuck? That's an insane reference. I'm in the zone, bro. I'm in the fucking zone. Oh, bowl. Bowling for Columbine. Yeah. I can never bring myself to watch it, so I only know it as a reference. I haven't watched it either. I only know the references. I just know the scene from The Office where him and Michael Scott and Dwight have the trench coats on and he's like I got it after I watched Bowling and Columbine really dark movie yeah it's tough it's a tough one damn it was a big deal it was a big deal for us back in the day oh of course I remember I know you think everybody born before 1995 was a slave but that's not the truth I didn't think that you said it you said it on our 19 minute phone call that we had yesterday i remember it like it was yesterday also wasn't it 99 dumbass i said everyone born before 95 no oh come on bro fucking unbelievable you guys been gaming at all no but somebody i don't know no gaming no yeah no i want to you should we got a whole crew like there's a bunch of people from the office playing Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Who? Zach, Jerry. So people on the bush already? So the people you do the video game content with? Nicky Numbers, Spider plays, Tyler plays. I'd like to meet this Nicky Numbers character. Oh, you'd love him? Yeah, I think I would. We should have him on the podcast. He's in Jersey, right? Yeah, but we'd probably have to get like his, we'd probably have to like block out his face and his identity. Jerry's very protective over numbers. Why? I don't know. He brought him in though. I know. And he was on camera. He's keeping them out. Dude, I saw that you guys dropped a new episode of Behind the Bush. And I have not started it yet, but it's in my queue. Hell yeah. I fucking love what you guys are doing. Thank you. I appreciate that. So sick. I appreciate that. Not me. No, not Ron. That's what our phone call was about. He was reprimanding. I was like, can you please just say that you like it? And he was like, I hate it. Yeah. I'm not fucking doing that. Just put out a public statement. I'm not. Saying you enjoy it. What else is in your YouTube queue, Francis? Well, I'm trying to think. I was watching some nonsense today. What? Sir Alex Ferguson described the four players he considered to be world class in his biography or his autobiography. I can't distinguish those two anymore these days. and um he named uh paul skulls christiano ronaldo uh eric benz benzema bentona cantina eric cantina the french guy and then ryan gigs and that's over his 26 year reign at united and he He didn't name Rooney or Beckham or a number of players who I'm sure felt slighted. And then he defended it on a live interview. This was all on the tube? That was what I was watching this morning. Fuck yeah. YouTube's the best. It's hard to go wrong. It is. Let me find out you're up early watching footy though. Well, I had a tough night of sleep. I did. I woke up at 2.30. That's a tough time to wake up. That's the worst time to wake up. You check the clock. I walked out of my room because I don't have clocks in my bedroom or my phone. And I saw some light coming in through my curtains. So I was like, oh, maybe it's six. Yeah. And it's just that I live in New York City and it's bright all fucking night. So I walked out and I saw 2.30 and I was like, oh. Yeah. There's so much time before tomorrow. What was the light? I like this. It's like honestly like it's hard even thinking about it. Well, the thing. It's like the worst feeling in the world. The worst. The part that was really bad too was that I said to my – I went to bed early. I went to bed, lights out, 1030. Yeah. Haven't done that in a while. So you already had gotten a good amount of sleep. And I took two sleep gummies of some kind. Were they the Ollie ones? I don't know what they were. Someone gave them to me and said, you need to try these. and I took them the night before and I slept nine hours and 54 minutes with a 98 sleep, or no, a 93 sleep score. Yeah. And then today, you know what? None of this matters. I'm going to shut up. I'm trying to get more aware of when what I'm saying means nothing. I was, I'm interested to hear what's where this is going. I hit my limit. That's crazy. This is where the hate starts. That's insane. I'm listening. We're listening to the story. We're at the tension right now. It's like I'm wearing a dog bark collar, and I can feel that this is the tone, and soon it's going to be the shock. What? That's crazy. We're done. We're done. None of us have anything to say. We need this. We need you to say this. I was fully engaged in that story. Who cares? Gaming. I was fully engaged. Bring back the gaming. No. No. This was a great topic. No, it wasn't. Yes, it is. I promise you it was. People hate when I fucking talk, and I'm aware of it, and I'm trying to be better. I promise you. You're going through the wintertime. I'm going through the wintertime, too. It's just the wintertime. And I feel the same way. You've got to continue that story. There's no way you're ending that story there. That's insane. I could hear it. I could hear the comments popping up in my brain like, sometimes when Francis gets going, man, I have to switch to a different podcast. Say that. I'm a Francis defender, but I'll tell you what, man. I can't stand when he talks about sleeping. He can't sleep, but it's putting me to bed. Yeah, exactly. No, I do want to hear the rest of that, though. uh so you know i guess that the rest of it is that i just try not to look at screens but sometimes like at 2 30 in the morning my eyes are so fucking tired that i don't i can't read yeah and i'm like the only thing that will make me feel at peace right now is to look at facebook marketplace oh no so at 2 30 when facebook marketplace from 2 30 to 6 30 oh and then i fell back asleep till Did you get to the bottom of it? You must have finished Facebook Marketplace in four hours. You should see what it was feeding me, dude. What? I mean, it was like, do-it-yourself hair clippers. I was into bedside tables. And that's always up there. But Jacques-Marie Maje sunglasses. Oh, I know Jacques-Marie Maje. Those are some nice, expensive sunglasses. I got a picture with my glasses guy up in Boston. Oh, yeah? He'll change your life. I would like that. Soma Optical. Wait a minute. Is that on? Is that? Newberry? Yeah, dude. I've been there. Dude, that's one of my closest friends. Why do I feel like we've talked about this before? What? You've been to Soma? I bought a pair of JMMs there when I was there for Laugh Boston. Who sold them to you? A woman. Oh, okay. Okay. Wait, I have a receipt. Let me just make sure that's the store. It wasn't Perseus or Christos? Whoa, cool names. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You're not sure you're not talking about Greek mythology? That's what I'm saying, bro. Perseus and Christos. Okay, hold on. the um when you when i wake up early like that like in the middle of the night like when you're when you were up at like you said you fell asleep at 6 30 when you're up at like 5 30 are you like i'm just up for the day and you're like i feel good no i woke up so early yeah that i was like there there's no way that i won't fall back asleep yeah often i wake up at four and that's sort of the the tipping point where i could go either way i could either sense why what are you I just have that exact same thing Every time that happens to me I wake up And then I go on my phone for like two hours And then I fall back asleep For me if I wake up Say my kid's crying in the other room And I like check the clock and it's like 3.30 I'm like fuck yes Oh yeah because you get to sleep more I just get to slam down for three more hours Of sleep That's like amazing To find out that it's that early I fucking love that shit I kind of just like to get it over with though I got bad news, Ron. It's Yosemite Eyewear. Bleep it out. Well, they're the official retailer of JMM in Boston. But I don't think... Well, I got some Dita frames from up there that are real nice. That's cool. I bought those when I was doing the show with Willie Colon because I wanted him to like me more. And black people love those. Really? Yeah, they're big on those. I'm never buying a pair of nice sunglasses again. It's fully over. You'll be back. I'm a sun clouds man. Oh, my God, dude. Did I... speaking of that my mom loves maui gyms oh of course who doesn't and she dropped a pair off the dock at our camp up in uh on lake happens here on i always get this wrong and people get on me so i'm gonna stop this story too no uh i think it's like here on it might it might i can never fucking remember gyms anywhere can we say maui gyms has to be the best name for sunglasses ever. Yeah, they're great. She dropped them and they were off the dock and at that spot, the lake was, I think, 16 feet deep and I tried diving for them for her. Yeah. You get down into the kelp and the silt of the lake bed. Yeah. That is dark. That is murky. How deep? You find things out about yourself in that space. You learn a lot about yourself at 16 feet under. Feeling around. You can't really see. I didn't have a headlamp. I wasn't spelunking. So I was just feeling around and I could tell that I was now stirring it up and probably covering the MJs. The James? Yeah. The Jameses? Never got them back, unfortunately. Once those things hit the water, they're gone forever. Pretty much. Oh, I think if you're in the ocean, those are retrievable. It depends on what ocean. I remember being on a dock and just watching them fall right off my head right in. And just like the second they hit the water, gone. Dude, there's a guy on YouTube, this is a good one, who dives for watches that people have dropped in areas like that. And when he gets them back for them, they're always so grateful. Really? Yeah. What do you think the right tip is? If you like had a paddock fall off your wrist. Paddock? Like a, I don't know. A grand. Like an Aquanaut 4760A. Yeah, and someone dives down to get it. You have to go a grand. I mean, I guess it depends. Are they bringing gear? They have to scuba dive. It might be more. They have to scuba dive for it. It might be more. I mean, how much does a watch like that cost? Retail is $27,000, but that's if you know a guy, and you know a guy well. So what would the average person pay? Probably gray market. We're talking north of $60,000. I think $5,000. Really? You want to get a new watch? Spot on. That's how I would say. I'd be like, all right, it's going back down. Yeah. Oh, you mean this? You get it. You get another guy with a scuba suit and an oxygen tank out here so you can find one. Yeah. Here in the Ozarks. Question. What position in football do you think is the most likely to get injured? And I'm talking like season-ending injury. I was wondering this, and I wanted to ask you boys since you know ball. I think it's got to be QB is an easy one. More than O-Lineman. The O-Lineman one's weird because those guys get hurt so much, but I feel like it's because they're fucking massive. And they're also like fall over. They're the biggest, toughest guys, so they're like, oh, fucking play through it. Sure, but I'm talking, you know, you can't come back from a torn ACL, right? So those guys. I feel like D-Lineman are always popping their shit. D-Lineman more than O-Lineman. I think so. I don't know, because they were kind of running forward. I feel like you pop the shit when you're out of it. But I could be completely wrong. Yeah, they're on that rocker foot. That three-point stance. That three-point stance where it's like they're coming off that back leg. The reason I went into this question is because I went down an Adrian Peterson 2012 rabbit hole as well. MVP season. Just breaking off 23 yards. He was incredible. That's the year that he went for like 296 in the game? It was really close to the record. It wasn't the last game. What is the record? He went 296. No, it wasn't. But you can watch that game, and it's just like insane. His yards after contact that season, you needed three or four guys to bring him down. Yeah. And James Andrews performed the surgery on his ACL and allegedly said that he had never seen a finer human specimen than Adrian Peterson. Well, I've never seen such a – That's crazy. Never seen a body like it. Oh, they're talking that. He's a cartoon character. He goes to fix the ACL and there's like a second ACL. Yeah. What a fine specimen this boy is. Oh, shit, you have a backup ACL? Yeah. Just like a guitar string of ACLs that far? Sick. It's like shark teeth? But I remember watching this video and thinking, you know, Adrian Pearson was carrying the hell out of the ball that season, and this was after tearing his ACL and coming back from it and getting hammered, you know, going up the gut. And why is it that running backs aren't – why are they not more likely to get injured? They don't seem to be the position. It's the most injured reserve players per year is running backs by a pretty high margin. Well, then I am a fucking retard. I honestly wouldn't have thought that. You nailed it. You were right. I don't – they are the most injured? Yeah. So then I was wondering about that. Yeah, I was wondering why that's not the case. I don't understand how Tiki Barber had the career he did. I don't. I don't know. Or like Frank Gore played like 20 fucking years. Yeah. Like Emmett Smith was able to run for like 18,000 yards. Like how do you just keep on going out there and just doing that again? Yeah, you're kind of going through the line and getting banged around. And then if you're lucky to get through that, you get to the second level. And there's a fucking D-back who's teeing you up. And they're smaller, so they're going for your legs probably. Yeah. Emmitt Smith was 5'9". Barry Sanders was 5'8". Imagine being a Dave Portnoy-sized running back. Sure. But they're fucking monsters. Emmitt Smith was not a monster. Bro, their legs are like five of my legs. That's true. Is one of their legs. That's right. They've got some good-ass legs. Their quads are literally this big. They never even put Emmitt Smith highlights out. I feel like I've never even watched. like they'll put a Barry Sanders highlight tape out every week but there's no love for Emmitt Smith yeah but they always good I know that what I mean like when did Emmitt Smith get his was it like the 100 point game game by Will Chamberlain When did Emmitt Smith get the 18 yards I don know I feel like I watched some of them like some of his old stuff. Well, the Cowboys, America's team doc was good. Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's what it was. Yeah. Smith out there. If he had a hyphenated last name, he probably would have had 28,000 yards. Smith, yeah. Emmitt Smith and Jigba. emmett smith and wesson yeah that'd be fucking legendary a real life cowboy oh man just need to text large and i watched a guy on a at a really nice hotel uh like he was on a paddleboard and his watch fell off and he just made one of the guys that like pulled the beach chairs out go dive for it did he get it yeah he did but he didn't like make him any promise of numbers he He was just like, I think it's in this area. Like, just a fucking rich Australian guy. I feel like I just wouldn't wear a nice watch on something that it's going to fall off. What do you mean? That's what nice watch guys like. That's like one of the main things on nice watches that it's like up to like 40,000 feet. You could take this. Like, that's one of the specs of the watches that they can withstand that kind of stuff. I keep my nice watches on so that I don't lose them. Yeah, that is true. Many of you take it off at the beach. Say goodbye. Shit's gone. That's why I fucking. Sand. Tekashi 6ix9ine would wear six watches at once. Yeah. So he wouldn't lose them. Skids one falls. That's the smartest way to do it. Yeah. Upmost respect to Tekashi. You end up in a Friends and Neighbors situation. And I think that the best sunglasses name. Sorry. Neighbors and Friends. Neighbors and Friends. Yeah. The Jon Hamm show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Jon Hamm show. Skids and Watches. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're definitely right. Oh. I thought that was like Tekashi's album or something. No. Have you never watched it? That show? Friends and Neighbors? It's great. You would love it. I don't like anything anymore. You would really like this. It's like a guy who has a super rich life, and he just goes bad. I've heard this. It's ham. You don't like ham? I like ham. Ham's a little overdone now. What about on Christmas? He's put out some bad work. But he put out Mad Men. Okay. You love Mad Men. I watched the first season and couldn't keep going. You keep going. I don't know what else to say. Keep going. The first two seasons are like whatever. They're good, but they're not crazy. Once you get into the later seasons, you're like, holy fuck. Blame society because you can't get me to watch two earn it seasons to get to the good stuff. Two full seasons of television. And I certainly can't begin in season three. I'd have no idea what was going on. You probably could hop in pretty easily. Maybe it would make you like it better. If you just looked up the characters, not going to do it. do it the show deserves a full watch but you're saying you're not going to give it a full watch i'll be honest i really think you could hop around on that show like there was a season that i wanted i was like i wanted to skip it because one of my friends told me it wasn't good and i didn't but i definitely could have people say that about season two of the wire but frankly i i liked it is that the one about the white boys at the docks the docks I gotta watch The Wire. That's one that I watched the first episode and they pulled out a fax machine and I was like, I'm out. I was like, I'm not watching this. Oh, so they're slaves. This is from before 1995. Yeah. That's brutal. My parents love The Wire, but they admit that they watch it with subtitles on, which is like quietly a very racist thing. no some characters like snoop like you don't know what the fuck she's saying she's just like talking especially with the baltimore accent that's a nasty one but that is funny i've never i've never gotten into it the two three shows that i haven't watched that i need to watch are sopranos that the wire and then i also haven't watched i haven't seen entourage either which i want to watch i don't know how entourage might hold up i really don't know if that will hold i tried to watch the first episode of that and it was pretty dated Well, season two was the best season of that show, but we watched it at the right time. Yeah. Back when we all thought, if we get famous or one of us gets famous, then sexual harassment doesn't exist. Okay. I thought you were going a different way. Just doesn't exist. I thought you were saying you could bring your entourage. Sure. And the rules don't apply to them either. Do anything you want. You were saying that you could just, yeah. And then Jeremy Piven found out the hard way. It does. It exists. Turns out the rules still apply. The funniest part of that show is his relationship with Lloyd. Yeah, exactly. But he couldn't do any of that shit anymore. He was the star of the show. And he was so homophobic. And it was an Asian gay guy. So it was like the golden age for homophobia and Asian hate. Yeah. Did you see that Frank goes back? Yes. He was on a Doverick stream. When they let him out of the clink. oh james franco oh no i didn't see it what was he in he's in this show on netflix that apparently i've heard is pretty decent it's a date 11 28 63 or something like that oh yeah is it what is it about if like the something different happened with the atomic bomb or something is another one oh am i way off on this and that's been out for a while oh fuck me franco's been back and we're just finding out he was on a david dobrik video stream or something like that and it was like i'm going he like sat down in like this kid's bed and like uh he woke the dude up and was like name five of my movies and i'll give you five thousand dollars and the guy just couldn't do it for franco for franco he couldn't name i could do it i could do it you can't name sequels though milk spider-man uh 127 hours um good pull fuck i can do this come on five thousand dollars there's a time on it you guys talk i'm gonna think oh no that's not how it worked in the david dobrik video oh dobrik ain't back either is dobrik yeah i didn't know dobrik and they're linking up together bro that's crazy this is the bad boys he said bring them back honestly he said cancel me if you can yeah bring them back well everyone knows that two canceled's equal to a positive yeah because i can yeah see you can't you can't uh i got i'll find two more no but that's how it was i think they reduced it to 1 000 if you i got it i got just one more huh i think i could do it but i don't know if i could do it without naming okay go well i don't want to stomp on francis's wait give me one more oh pineapple express and then this is the end yeah easy yeah good work good work knocked up be proud no no he's not in knocked up no what if you just got woken up though do you think you could do it first thing in the morning if you were depends on if it's 2 30 2 30 you'd probably be so sharp my real wake-up time when i'm ready to take on the fucking world yeah i feel like i would be better at it that like right right out of bed dude i'm telling you at 2 30 in the morning i'm sending out like low ball offers for shit on facebook marketplace that i will never buy if a gun were in my mouth you're just fucking with people i don't even know like let's just take a look like i currently have all right let's just take a look what did i put out offers on end tables you're low balling people on oh here's cool this is a good one uh i found a iron heart deerskin leather western shirt the big buck is what it's called hell yeah size large no idea if it would fit uh new with tags black size l uh and i said hey what did i say to him i go hi this is awesome any chance you can come to brooklyn with a shirt he could send you the shirt it's not like a and he goes well i could ship it and I was like, is it really made of deer hide? And do you know if it runs big or true to size? $1,500. Damn. I'm not buying a shirt for $1,500. Yeah, don't. Definitely don't. And then he sent a picture of it on him. Oh, that's weird. But he cropped that, it was only his mouth down. You gotta crop the whole head. I'm like, hey dude, can you remove the shirt and send that again? i see it on the floor next to your bed that's so nuts why why did that even catch your eye here's christine and uh this is christine out in in uh greenwich this is the messina coops the champagne coops from baccarat i've been looking for these of course hi christine would you take 300 cash and she says is this shipping or meat somewhere i'm in greenwich i said i guess I could come pick them up. Would you do $250 if I came to you? And she said, my price is firm. I'm happy to meet you halfway. And I never responded. That's just the game. That's the game. Sorry, Christine. Suck my dick. I went back and forth with a lot of people about the frame TV. Oh, yeah? Why don't you just buy one? New. Why would I do that? When I can lead a bunch of people on a wild goose chase? It's the thrill of the hunt for you. It's the thrill of the hunt. it's the thrill i gotta get on facebook marketplace it's the thrill of the dupe yeah i think i got to get on there why i mean it's like that's like why would you fish when someone could just give you a fish at your table it is true why would you hunt for elk it's all about the process yeah yeah i didn't get it i didn't get it until now i think i understand he's a fisher of men yeah he's a fisher of deer shirts yeah why the fuck would you buy that shirt is it sick can i at least see it The shirt's so sick, dude. It's black, did you say? It's so sick. It's a black deer skin shirt. Oh my God. Look at this fucking awesome shirt. Ready? So you think that's just a normal whatever. It's leather. That's the most normal shirt I've ever seen. Bro, look at that though. Look at that. That's deer skin. Oh, that's the inside? The inside. It's all deer skin. The whole thing is made from a dead deer. Why wouldn't they make the outside the inside? That would be cool. That's a cool shirt. This is the Sidney Wells special edition. She killed the deer. There were only 15 of these made. That was all the amount she could kill that season. Never been worn. The tag is handwritten. But you just said there's a picture of him wearing it. Those feel, I'm not going to lie, they feel a little bit scandalous, no? What? Isn't that like a little controversial? No. Deer are a pest. Yeah. Deer are a pest. They're like rodents. You said that so dismissively. Deer are a pest. They're a scourge. You ever drive around Montauk? we should be hunting those things with automatic weapons grenades fucking roll one right into a family crossing the road watch the little bambis just hunting with grenades would be crazy they should at least use like flashbangs and stuns you know fuck them up a little bit you can walk right up to them right in the head yeah that's like I think the most humane way to do it confuse and murder yeah exactly yeah super bright and then you're dead couldn't you just pull up like with a flashlight on a deer and just like freeze their ass yeah in the headlight deer in a flashlight but all right oh no no last thing before we get out of here oh the best the best sunglasses name is uh is ray bands no because like ray charles but also they ban the rays ray allen ray but ray charles wore sunglasses yeah but also they ban the rays of the sun that is not how that came to That has to be. There's no way. What? You don't think that they- Ray banned? They banned the Rays of the Sun. You don't think that that way- No, I'm not- I'm not tying that at all. They didn't even come- That didn't come into the thought process? I think it's more likely that there was like a guy named Ray who kept coming into the store, and they were like, we're never letting him in here again. Yeah. Ray's banned. I think- No, it's definitely Maui Jim. No, Ray- You don't think that it had anything to do with them banning the Rays of the Sun? Or I'm reaching- I think that might be a reach. No, actually, now that you say that, that does make sense. That is what it is? Yeah. All right. But you were talking about Ray Charles initially. Yeah, that was a stretch, I guess. But I wanted to go to it. I wanted to list things. Maui Jim just seems like a fucking, just like a guy who lives in Key West and plays Jimmy Buffett songs. Yeah, that's who they're for. They're the sunglasses you wear when you work out outside in Hawaii. Maui Gym. G-Y-M. Costas are definitely the best, but not the best name. No. No, Jacques-Marie Maje, for sure. Mm-hmm. All right. Okay, okay. I'm done now. Oh, where am I? Batavia. Batavia's sold out. I thought about Friday. Batavia's sold out and don't ask. Don't even think about it. And don't buy anything on a secondary site either. Don't even think about it. Pittsburgh is going fast. You got to come to that. That's next weekend. punchup.live slash then it's on to like Denver and Houston and oh I wanted to ask you I'll ask you this privately never mind I was going to ask you like never mind I'm not going to ask you because Mook is I asked Harry Grace if he would lend me Connor Mook's services to open for me in Houston what's your fee I take 50% yeah so i was gonna ask you like if you tip him or what you give him yeah yeah and so that i don't give too much which would then make you look bad oh yeah i don't want to do that no i mean i i it's hard to say because i will do like a bunch of dates and then i'll just give them i'll pay them out sure sure sure stuff like but it's like when you split the bill you want to make sure everybody's tipping the same yes exactly you don't want to be like oh i don't want luke coming home from his weekend with me and being like i never knew how badly i had it with harry francis it's francis let me sleep in the bed with him are you guys sharing a room we're sharing a bed no no we're not i'm kidding i don't know where i mean i don't know where we're staying so are you doing houston improv we're doing the punchline in houston oh yeah that's probably i was gonna say if you're doing the improv i know where you're saying it's not good no next to a jack-in-the-box off of a highway the punchline is right in the middle of downtown oh really yeah yeah i'm excited for that that's houston then denver then san francisco and we also have minneapolis in there all this stuff is punch up dot live slash francis you gotta tell us if houston's a walkable city it's not it certainly isn't at least where i was it was but he said he's right in the center so it's like maybe there's a nucleus is there like an actual like every city in texas outside of Austin that I've been to, everyone's like, yeah, we're here. Here it is. And you're like, I feel like we're in the suburbs right now. I feel like I'm on the highway. Yeah. And then they're like, well, let's go downtown. And then you go downtown and it's like, there's like a 7-Eleven. Yeah, the buildings are imposing. The blocks are long. Yeah. It's very spread out. There's no sort of charming bookshop with a cute girl that you're not sure if she's straight. No. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's mostly. They don't have cute girls that you're not sure if they're straight. They don't have that in Dallas. I think I've been to Dallas like 15 times. I don't think I've ever actually been to Dallas once. Yeah. Where is Dallas? I don't know. Does anybody know? Everyone's like, well, this is actually Alpharetta. But if you go five feet that way, it's Dallas. But then it's Arlington if you go 10 feet. Yeah. Plano. Yeah. Fort Worth. Fort Worth. Is it Fort Worth or is it Dallas? I don't know where that sort of west village of Dallas would be. I have no clue. Nobody knows. No one does. Where's the damn sweet green in Dallas? Where's the charm? Where's the place where people say, you know what? I'm going to leave my guns behind. Leave your AR in the car. We're safe here. We're safe. It's finally safe. Yeah. All right. Good ep. Good ep. Good ep. We will see you guys. Good Epstein. Next week. Goodbye. Goodbye. All right. Looked older Till you Came around I was only Falling one way I was only Falling one way Days Were drifting Fool Fool was I So, so then you listen Now I come alive I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way I was only falling one way Vanished to your right Did you realize No one could take me alive I was only falling one way See just a distant light Bein' fast forever bright Call it just a memory Take my hand and you can see I'm fine Thank you. Managed to your eyes Did you realize No one could take me alive Thank you.