Our origin story, marriage advice, & 2026 resolutions

I was really scared of you. I had not friends. I didn't know you were. You always felt edgy to me. Oh, wow. I needed to get told to the dentist. Oh, no. I don't even want to say how many years. Wait, years since before you had CJ? I don't know if this is inappropriate for the podcast, but I put kiss more. Matt will kiss me and sometimes I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do that. Like a smooch kiss. What is your best advice for being a white? Always here to share the hope and the hard with heart and humor. Welcome to Always Here, where your host Abby Howard and Abby Howard. Wow. This is crazy. I feel very nervous. Really? Yeah. I have butterflies, mostly just because I'm excited, but I have full confidence in this being really natural for us because we talk all the time, totally. And we got Abby here on the production mic. Hello. Woo. It's a family affair. I know it's fun to just watch you guys in the studio on the outside. It's kind of weird. I like it. I like it. Let's pressure on me to look good every episode. True. True. I feel like we just filmed our announcement video right before this, and it was like a scripted fun thing. And I feel like I'm talking like I'm on a script. Like I have to turn off my acting brain because I've never had an acting brain. You're natural, though. I appreciate that. We should probably first address for those that don't know why we have the exact same name. Oh, yeah. That's a good part. We always make that super joke. Yeah. It's either really convenient or really confusing. Oh, we're a family couldn't afford it. I think that's from Zach and Cody. It is from Zach and Cody. I think we're only a four one name. Yeah. No, but we are technically your Abigail, and I'm really going to train myself for the sake of this podcast to call you Abigail, but I've called you Abby for a decade now. Yeah. I know. It's crazy. How long have you known each other? Yeah. Well, a decade, actually. A decade. I was there the early years. We were not friends. I didn't know you were. I love to see. We should get into that. So different. Yeah. Let's get into it. Okay. So we're both Abby, Abigail for her. My phone name is just Abby. For those of you that may not have known that, but we married brothers. Yep. Caleb and Matt. They're 18 months apart. They're pretty close. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Always closer than I think. Caleb seems like such an older brother. So I always feel like he's much older. I think too, because Caleb and Matt weren't super close for a lot of their lifetime until we all got married. And we're in the same life stage. Then I feel like now they're closer and they feel less of an age gap. But I feel like growing up, they felt like a big age gap. Yeah. Because we're all high school sweetheart, which is also wild. Yeah. Yeah. That is fun. Okay. So kind of get into it. Okay. Do you remember the first time you met me? I don't remember. Okay. Yeah. So we started dating. We both started dating in high school. Yes. So I was a junior and then we did all through high school college. And I remember you coming into the picture, I think maybe when I was still in high school. No. No, I'm sorry. I was a sophomore in college. Because you and Matt started dating your senior year right after junior year. Yeah. So maybe right before you went into sophomore year. Yes. So I feel like we never really had a ton of time together because you lived in a different city. I was in college just so far apart. Yeah. I have distinct memories of you from the beginning. I was really scared of you. I think that's so crazy. I, I, I, I, I, but I'd be say that you're like, you were so cool. I was never cool. I've never been cool. Really? I feel like you're pretty cool and comparison to me, Abby, let's be fair. I don't think you like like you guys always did fun crazy things with your friends. I feel like I was just. I didn't, I just had like a small group. I don't know. I just wasn't like the cool girl that I feel like you probably haven't built up to be in your head. You're the same high school. So in my mind, you were like city girl. You'd known the family so much longer than me. You were so much more comfortable. You had like cool style and you always felt edgy to me. Oh, wow. So I was like, she's just so cool. I was intimidating you. This is intimidated by you. This was my first memory of you. I don't know if I've ever told you this, but we were eating at the Howard's house like at their kitchen table and I was like, gosh, she's so comfortable and like so I was so nervous around their family for so long. And like I would get a stomachache. I'm like so nervous. I just really wanted that to light me by also like didn't know how to behave. I was just really awkward. And then I remember I'm sitting across from you and you're sitting next to Josh and he's eating watermelon. You remember the food? Yeah, because you're like Josh, you're eating kind of loud. You like correct it is eating and I was like, gosh, she's so comfortable. I don't think you could ever say anything like that ever. Why did I feel so comfortable saying that? I wasn't rude. It was just like you were like, he felt like your brother. Yeah, he did. I met Josh when he was nine years old. Yeah, yeah, he's 23 now. Crazy. Isn't that wild? I know. So he kind of was, he's my little brother. Yeah, yeah, that is really funny. I feel like my first impressions of you, I don't remember the first time we met in person, but I remember Matt talking about you all the time and we were all like, we get it. You love her. I'm going to marry Abby. I'm going to marry Abby and I was like, okay, you sound crazy. You sound crazy. Yeah. You guys were like 18, 17. 17. 17. I'm going to marry her and I'm like, okay, I knew you were amazing from what Matt said, but I didn't. I don't remember like actually being you for the first time. I remember. So then, okay, we keep dating kind of just like crossing paths really, just like holidays and stuff and not really talking too much to be honest. You're quiet. I was so scared and then we got engaged. I was at your engagement. You were. Yeah, that's fun. That was fun. I always had pictures from that together. Yeah. And then we had bridal showers together. This was where is a little awkward in my opinion. This was where I felt like we became friends. Yeah, starting to become friends, but we were getting married at the same time. We're having shared showers, which is a little awkward to begin with. Then you have me being like extra awkward and then us not also being like super close. Well, it was kind of funny because everyone thought we both were child brides. You know what I mean? We were. I was 23. You were 20. Yeah. Like, my family thought I was a child bride. I was called a child bride. So it's like the two children just sitting there at their bridal showers. Yeah, I mean, it was really sweet for them to host those showers and like very generous. But they were beautiful. Still not super close. We were at each other's weddings. Sometimes I wonder, I'm like, man, I wonder if it would have been fun to have you as a bride's maid. And like, I think going back, I'm like, totally what you would have been like my maid. Like, I mean, all these things. But I like also, our relationship just wasn't like that yet. Totally. And who would have known what was going to come of it? I don't know. But I feel like a specific turning point was when you came to visit Matt and I in Springfield. And you guys stayed at our one bedroom apartment with us. You can't, you get close with someone when you share one bedroom apartment. We went to Silver Dollar City. Yeah. Like, made meals together. That was really fun. That was really fun. I think that was the first time I saw your personality and Matt's personality too. Like, I always knew Matt as like the younger brother and you know, he was always busy with his acting and stuff. And so actually getting to spend quality time with you guys was so fun. I remember we baked and yeah, we took our dog at the time was a puppy and you let us bring him to your apartment. Sweet. And we just, I mean, we literally just ran around Springfield and we just, I don't know, I was like, how they're so fun. That was a good time. And then we did a couple more trips together. And then you ended up moving to Arizona and I feel like then, like we were already close by then. Yeah. And so, but like ever since then it's just like, I really feel like we're all sisters. And then Addy joined the mix with Blake. Like gosh, three years ago now. Yeah, three and a half. We've been married three and a half. Yeah, so crazy. So crazy. Five. And now we're all in Arizona together. All the sisters. Yeah. I know. So fun. I'm a little girl here. Yeah. It's fun. And then we're all in the same text. Yeah. So that we all call each other. Abby Howard is the middle person. Abby in the pink, if you're watching it on your video. I've been referring to you as my bonus sister-in-law and I kind of like, I think that's perfect. I have to admit in insecurity, I feel you guys both have biological sisters. So sometimes I feel like I'm overstepping. But I'm like, my sisters, so if I type it out, I usually say sister-in-law to respect I don't think my sister would care. I'm not taking your place. I don't think I'm equal to you. I bet my sisters like that. I'm like, my sister and law. My sister probably doesn't care. That's sweet. That's what I didn't know you did that. Every time, then I'm like, do they think it's weird that I'm separating sister and law, but I'm going to get that out there. We're about to get out there. And now we can just say sisters, and we all know we're not trying to overstep. I think I did that for your birthday on my story. Oh, text your sister. Can I put it in a sister? Is she okay with that? Like, maybe your sister? That works great. I mean, my sister's love you, so it's not like weird about it. That's so sweet. Oh boy. Should we start our first segment? We should. Okay. This segment is called, wow, that's crazy. Well, just crazy. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. The inception of it is that Abby and I say that all the time. And to the point now where my son CJ says it, he goes, that's crazy. And then I was like, why do I say that so much? And I think it's because we say it all the time. I didn't even realize we were saying it. I didn't either until CJ started saying it, and then I started paying attention. And I said, Abby says a lot. I say a lot. So it must be something we feed. So we thought it'd be a funny idea for a segment on the podcast. And Abby right now is currently offline. And you have been for a while. I post, post and ghost. Yeah, but you don't like to. I have been for, wow, we could do the exact math, but like two and a half months. Wow, that's really healthy. It feels great. I'm currently breastfeeding, so I feel like I'm chronically online. That's the time. We have good balance here. But I do want, and I think that is an insecurity of like going offline. It's like, it's so much better for my mental health and like my productivity, so many other things. But I'm also like, I feel like I'm getting left behind sometimes. Well, that's why we have this segment. That's great. We're going to keep you in the loop, and then we'll get your opinions on what's going on. OK, we do want this to be like non-gossipy. It's just going to be fun, lighthearted, and chatty. But we're going to keep you in the loopy. OK, loopy, new word. We're going to start with like a, this is kind of just more an impressive one. The world has a new, youngest female self-made billionaire. Did you know this? No. I feel like this is not what you're expecting. Gosh, wow. The young, how many are there? OK, I took notes. OK, I've propped for this. I know. So in the world, there are around 3,000 total billionaires. But out of that, only four to 430 are female. That's a huge four to 400. A 400, 430. A 400, 430. Of those billionaires are female. What are the other two of us number? Well, I don't actually know. That's why there's like a 30 range there. OK, and then around a quarter of those are only our self-made. So about 124 are self-made. Female billionaires, the rest became billionaires by inheritance. OK, I know some of these. Yeah, so it's very impressive. Yes. And we have the new youngest. She's 29 years old. OK. My age, so I got one year to catch up. Well, you don't have to be able to tie. Billi don't have to catch up with me to billion more dollars. Her name is, I hope I say this right. Luana Lopez Lara. OK. Guiana Loups Lara. There's a couple different ways you could say that. Maybe just one to her. But she co-founded Colchee, and it's a regulated exchange for event-based trading. So think about gambling on elections, whether sports, all kinds of different things. So that's pretty big news. I wonder if most of her users are male or female. I would be pretty confident in that male. Yeah. Yes, she did have a co-founder who was a male. But I think it's, I'm very impressed that she's like a young female entrepreneur became a billionaire. That's insane. But then I was on like dang, it's kind of gambling. Yeah. Kind of taboo a little bit. Oh, really? Do you think it is? I mean, I don't personally do it, but I feel like my dad grew up. I feel like my dad kind of played Party poker. So it wasn't like sports betting. Sports betting. Which I feel like it does. Yes, like to sports betting. I feel like it's different than gambling. It wasn't really conversation, honestly. Do you see those in the same realm? I do. Sports betting and gambling. Yes, but because in Missouri where I'm from before I moved here, it was always illegal. It's legal now as of a couple days ago. Right. So I think that's why there's this hard shift where my dad used to drive over state lines to Illinois to sports bet. But we would always consider it gambling. Because it was always kind of on the same playing field. I feel like the conversation was always like, don't ever get started on that. Like you'll waste all your savings. You'll really not squander all your savings. Yeah, I've never done it. I've never actually even felt time did to do it. I wonder if it's like, if the number that is based on the amount spent, like Blake puts like $20 in like a month. Like it's not. It's still good. It's still good. A lot of money. So I wonder if like, that's why I'm like, it's not gambling. Because it's like, it's controlled. Yeah, controlled. Uh-huh. It's just interesting. I thought it was funny. We're really proud of you. Lohana. Lohana. Good for you, girl. That's the first one. I thought we'd start with something light and kind of interesting. Love that for women. Go girls. OK, the second one is maybe the opposite of go. Have you heard about the hair by Chrissy drama? No, I know that there's something, but that's literally the extent of what I know. OK. I think this is a very interesting debate. OK, so TikToker at Not Famous 808 made a viral video about how she went to Habitsalon and was charged $4,000 for her hair extensions in service. She was charged $2,974 for the quote, quote, Chrissy's service in which she claims that Chrissy personally only touched a hair for 60 seconds. And in this TikTok, she kind of goes through it. She's like, she came through and she go, OK, tone. And then her assistance would come in and deal with her work. So Chrissy then responded by making many TikToks in response, like kind of mocking her, which is where everyone that started chiming in online about like Chrissy's response. And then the other girl who created the original video would respond to Chrissy. And it kind of just went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. So there was a lot of debate about Chrissy's response. She did make merchandise kind of mocking her. It got really ugly. OK, so then I guess I don't really feel like it's a problem to talk about it. If she clearly kind of fed into it and made merchandise, so it's like she likes this conversation. Yes. But also, I don't know because now her comment, Addy told me her comments are turned off on TikTok. Isn't that interesting? But here's my question. She was mad because it was so expensive. Well, she said she paid almost $3,000 for the Chrissy service. And then Chrissy did not touch her hair, OK, barely. And so the debate online is like, what would you expect? She's a celebrity hairstylist. She's super busy. You go in, you're paying for a premium for her name, and then you're going to get her assistance work. Or people are saying, no, that's crazy. You got ripped off. And that's not transparent pricing, because you're expecting Chrissy to do your hair. And then she's not. So I'm curious, your thoughts before you. What are your thoughts on this? Well, I feel like from a business perspective, I understand Chrissy. Like, she can't do everyone's hair. She's built up her business and her reputation to a point where she's training people to do it her way. And she is coming through and making face. I'm like, OK, get that. What was her response? Was she defending herself? Or OK, yeah, what was her defense? Basic. I don't really remember. Addy, do you remember what her? I also went to go look for those response videos. And I didn't see them on the page. A lot of them were in her caption. She'd be like me and my million assistants, or me and my team of assistants. She was taking what the girl said and making videos directly and responding. Saying she doesn't actually have that many assistants. No, but I think she was just saying. I feel like she also maybe had put stuff on her Instagram story as maybe what I saw some. A lot of taking it. OK, well, I kind of feel like if you're paying thousands of dollars for the quote unquote Chrissy experience, I kind of see where she feels misled by that. Because I feel like it's one thing. I feel like that type of thing I would expect if I go, if I'm just going to Chrissy salon or habit, if I'm going to habit, then I expect that the assistants will be doing it. And she trained them. And she might even be there. But if you pay for that specific service, I feel like that does make it feel like that's different from what you'd be getting otherwise. You know what I mean? Yeah, I didn't think about that. Obviously you're expecting, OK, I'm going to have it. I'm going to have a different hairstylist. But then if you're paying for Chrissy service, you would think then, oh, I'm getting Chrissy. She got extensions. OK, I mean, I feel like those are, you know those are going to be really expensive. Which she said that she expected the price. OK, and she agreed to the price. Yeah, right. She got there. She was confused by the actual service then. I can see that. I can see that. I know. I feel like this is one I see both sides. Yeah. Yeah, I see both sides. Because it's high demand. Right. What is she going to do? Yeah, but maybe don't offer that if you can't really give them more than 60 seconds. Yes, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough. I personally, I can't understand the world of hair extensions in general. Like, let alone the price to do them the upkeep. But the fact that you can't scrub your scalp, that makes me feel angry. I honestly know nothing about hair. I need to scrub. Well, they have like those like tracks, I think is what they're called. Like on your head. And then they move down and then you have to take them out and move them back up. I think that's old school. Now they do like K tips. I don't know. We're getting in the weeds of that. But they have tons of different. They still require a lot of upkeep. And you can't like just dig in your scalp. Like when I wash my hair, I'm like, good. Good. Oh, that's crazy. I know. Well, that's crazy. That's dark. That's truck a lot of debate online. OK. Now I have an opinion, Addy. Oh, I was also just going to say, did you say that they both made merch about the, they, you should mention that. She made merch. Yeah. The other girl made merch too. Now this just feels like circus. And not so famous. Anyway, it's kind of famous. Now she got a lot of followers on it. Well, I think that I saw, which is kind of interesting and might be, I'd be interested to know, your guys' takes on it is. So here by Chrissy, she reposts a lot of videos of like past services. She's done because she's just posting on socials and on her TikTok page. So then she's posting influencers who have gotten their hair done there in the past in the middle of the controversy. So then it looks like those people are supporting Chrissy. Like someone made a video that was like, hey, my hair is short right now. I did not get my hair. They're like asking if she went to Chrissy while during this time. Now it's people witch hunt. I hate that stuff. I know. I hate that stuff. But yeah, I mean. So I thought that was interesting. What a circus. Isn't this is like, this is something that's so funny to me because being on the side of not watching the videos and reading the comments and seeing the speed in which these things accelerate, just being filled in. I'm like, wow, that's crazy that that became a big deal and merch was sold about it. I know. Isn't that why you buy merch everybody? I do not buy merch. This girl got a ton of followers too. Yeah, her first review video was very kind. Yes. It wasn't slanderous. I think that's why people got mad at Chrissy for her response because it was like, you could have just taken the review kindly and just wash in the rug or even not drawn attention to it. But she got it agitated her. I'm pretty sure I met her one time. She's really tiny. She's really cute. Her reaction is so beautiful. Yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. I think with it being the start of the new year, 2026, I mean, really this year was went fast. It's a great time to talk about resolutions. Now I know Abby personally isn't a resolution girlie, but we asked her to come up with some for this year and I'm pretty sure Caleb would really appreciate this. He's a goal setter, right? He is. I feel like every year I have a pup who's stuck to my head and he's like, we're gonna write goals. You pup. I don't like it. You don't like it. I like sweat. I'm like goals. Find her. But he's right. I'm wrong. Well, Matt's not really quite organizing up. He loves big goals, but they could come at any day. Like it could be like Tuesday at five in October. He's like, what is the most important thing you want to get out of life? I'm like, happens all the time. Okay, I have a question for you guys. You, I say you're making goals. Do you remember the acronym for Smart Goals? Yeah, I actually think about it. Specific, measurable, attainable, relatable, timely. Or what's our? Pretty close. Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. Oh, relevant. I didn't refer to that. I've actually never heard of that. I was gonna say these goals are not those, but that's why I was a little, I didn't have to do that to you. Oh, I didn't work. Well, they didn't have to be, I feel like my art achievable. Well, you have to write out, I would like to achieve this by like the specific goal measurable. But you have to make all of those within the goal. Yeah, one goal. A sentence goal. Five points. That was like workshop in school. Maybe that's why I hate doing goals, because I'm like, all right, one thing has to do five things. And I never did that. I never did that. I thought overwhelming. Okay, that's crazy. But first, let's talk about some of our goals for this podcast, because I feel like this kind of came out of nowhere, but also a lot of people are doing podcasts. Why should you listen to always here? This has been something we've talked about for a long time years, actually. Before you guys started unplanned, we had to do the idea around and we've always come back to it throughout the years. To say how fun it would be. I do think that there is a gap. Like I love podcasts that are girly and fine, but there's not a ton that aren't, I would say maybe super salacious or just gossip centered, which those are have like a time and a place. But I feel like we can fill that gap of being a podcast where it feels like friendly, casual, sweet, but also we're gonna talk about real things in our life. Yeah. And I feel like we have a shared mission and how we share those things. I don't know if you wanna touch on that. You wanna make it? Yeah, I mean, we've had a lot of conversations and actually like developing it. So this, like Abby said, it's been a conversation for a while. Since before we started unplanned the podcast I do with my husband and like, I think when we brought up the unplanned, we were like, well, dang it, we used so much. Yeah, that's like, that's done big. And I kind of always knew in the back of my head that this would like come to be, but just like the timing, and I feel like the timing of this is like, honestly perfect because we are in the early motherhood stage. We wives were living or like trying to do, I just feel like this is a time where community is, could can be harder to find than ever, but also like more important than ever. And I think online it can, and I'm not gonna try to just like, gas myself. Oh, and this is a generalization. This isn't, I'm not even thinking of anyone specifically at all totally, but just it can feel like, you know, a time suck or like maybe you leave and you just feel more anxious or less, I don't know. I think that we both just had a lot of conversations about wanting this to be a place that makes you feel uplifted related to, maybe we'll share what we're making for dinner, maybe we'll share a book we read or a TV show, or a great fun date night idea, or an activity for your toddlers, just like a place where we can find a community of other people that are in the same season of life, miss the season of life, or are anticipating the season of life. Yeah, totally. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's great. And when we share hard things, we want them to be sharing it a way that feels hopeful. Like it's so easy to get up here with a microphone and like dog on your husband or dog on your kids and being a mom, or you know what, and it's like, that's not in the long run, it's like a big beneficial, and we want to kind of share, like yeah, life can be hard, but we can also be hopeful and like have fun through the hard things. Yeah, we have such a purpose in that, like hard things. So we did create a mission statement. Yeah, we did. It took us a while, but. Took us a while, but here's what we landed on. So I mean, this is also for you guys to keep us accountable as well. Each other, everyone on the team, always here to share the hope and the hard with heart and humor. Yeah, we want to laugh a lot. Yeah, I mean, we're not, we're most gonna be laughing. We're not serious, honestly, genuinely. We can't be, but overall. So that's kind of like our goal for always here, and it's been really sweet and fun doing this as sisters, starting this. It's like such a blessing that we have our relationship, but also like the fact that we have our community of friends in real life, and now we're gonna have an online community, that's really fun. Now our personal goals. Okay, did you come up with 10? I had three, and then you said 10, so I piggybacked to the drawing board. Okay, so I have 10. Okay, okay. I'm like, long way to say that. So my first one is I won, Caleb and I have to do one planned date out a month, at least, and we used to be really good about doing weekly date nights before kids, and then we fell into a season of being really financially broke, and we didn't do any dates, and we also had a child, so it was like, well, we'll just sit on the couch tonight again, and I think it's been a really easy habit to fall out of, so I want to prioritize, at least we can have a babysitter come once a month and go out to dinner, like easily. So just putting it on the counter and following through with that. That's sweet. Yeah, I put Kiss More and Write More Love notes. Yes. I put them in the same one, because Kiss More actually was one of my resolutions from a previous year, but I want to bring it back again, and I feel like I have to format this when I made out my goal a couple of years ago. I'm like, we love each other a lot. We touch a lot, and we're always close to each other. Let's just kiss sometimes. I don't know if this is inappropriate for the podcast, but why is it that when you're, I feel like we could kill, but I've been married. We've all been married almost seven years now. We're going on seven years, yeah, 26. And I'm like, what, what, kiss me? Yes, I'm like your buddy. Oh no, Matt will kiss me, and sometimes I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like a smooch kiss. I'm like, and so no, actually that was a thing. So like he was like, sometimes I feel like a kiss you, and I feel like you like lean away. I'm like, why do I do that? Like I like kissing you. So now I'm like, I want to be, I need to initiate more kisses. So I can break whatever happened. I feel like something when we had kids, I was just kind of like, well, I think because when you're pregnant, you can't touch. You can't roll out. You have a pregnant breastfeeding. I'm trying to keep breastfeeding. Like it started then I was like, I'm, people are touching me too much. And so he would kiss me when I was breastfeeding. I was like, ah, I'm just like, and I freaked out. And then I'm clearly not breastfeeding. So I'm like, it just carried it over. And so kiss more and write more love notes because my husband is a words of affirmation man. And he saves all of our notes like very, very, I found the stack. And I was like, those are getting old. Aw, that's sweet. I need to add new ones to that stack. So I'm like, maybe I could, maybe once a month. Yeah, put a number on it. That's sweet. I love that. Yeah, there you go. Measurable. Measureable once a month adding it. Kiss once a month. Kisses a month. My next marriage goal is I want to take a trip. This year just kill, but I, a trip just as to. That's so good always. Last year we went, it was like for his work conference. And so we haven't gone. And we did like an extra day, but kill was also in entering into work mode. So it's like, I want like, even if it's just a weekend or something. It's so fun. We haven't done that in a long time. Yeah. We'll watch the kids. Thanks. And I actually have a travel one as well. But I said travel with friends. Oh, we're all present. I like, we like, we travel together for work and for fun. But like 24 hours a lot. And I love that. I want to keep the same amount of that in. But I want to travel with friends specifically with kids the same age as ours. So it just, it just feels so fun. Like at a big house, everyone comes. We like have game nights and movie nights with the kids. We all make food in and just like have a kid trip. Yeah. But with our friends too. I don't personally love all inclusive. Like that's where we've gone for kill was work trips. This is not like my favorite type of vacation. But I do think an all inclusive is fun would be fun for a friend trip like that. Yeah. Because you're all contained in one area. But like if you need to go back for a nap. So you want to go to food or someone. It's like everything's right there. Yeah. So you could be on the same schedule, but not at the same time. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I get that. Well, I was picturing like getting a big air and maybe like cooking dinner's together. Oh. No. That is impossible to do with friends. But they're end on that. And oh, it's really fun. But it's like, you can't stay together. Sure. Too big. Okay. So moving off my goals, I'm recently postpartum. So like 10 weeks out. Getting back into fitness is kind of interesting. And I'm really excited about it. I do have a goal to run a half marathon. Oh, you're going to do it. Uh-huh. I did that with CJ when I was seven months postpartum. And I think I'm going to try to make that a goal with every baby to try to do a half marathon within the first year postpartum. Wow. I don't know why. I just think if I get myself a challenge, I'll actually do it. Mm-hmm. See, for the turkey trot this year, I did 10 minutes. I did 10 minutes and I was pretty asked for three miles. Not running it fast. Did you run the whole time? I did run the whole time. See, that's a goal in itself. I don't think I could run a 10 minute mile and run the whole time. You could, I need a whole. That's a mental thing. Yeah, it is. I don't have to. Oh, okay. I do know. No, I hate running. I'm going to take that up. I'm going to take that up. I don't have that thing to keep me going, which I feel you need to have for running. Abby has a good grit. Thanks. You really do. I'm not a podcast, always here. I'm stuck. Get it on your run, ladies. You're doing it again? Yeah, literally. You're like, no, I can't listen to any more. Running for me, I'm like, maybe I'll get into that one, I'm like an empty nester. Yeah, not my season for running. It is fun. Not my season. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. Okay, similarly, I have on my list of goals, go on more walks. Nice. I just feel so much better. I started that after the loss. I was like, I just feel so much better just being outside, slowing down, and actually, I'm talking about independent walks. I love them. I was like, let me go with you. I'm like, yes. Now I have to go do my own laps now. Because that's kind of part of it. I feel like I don't have a lot of a long time in my days. And I don't think that mattered to me or stood out to me as something that I wanted to change until more recently. And I was like, oh gosh, I really feel like I need to recoup independently, like a little bit every single day. And I don't think I'll be able to do this daily. That just doesn't feel realistic, but I just sit on more walks. And I love it. I like to turn on, sometimes I'll just listen to music, or usually I just listen to a podcast. I'm just listening to Dr. Arthur Brooks' podcast about happiness. While I'm walking, I'm like, this feels like self-care. This feels like really good. So that is online to just do that more often. Especially in Arizona now. It's a great time to walk. For sure. For sure. Really nice. I love that. I like that. I don't want a lot. Another one I have is get a pull-up. I kind of had that before. I got pregnant with my daughter. Why did I think of like, P.P. diaper pull-ups? I really just want to get back to that. I think these pull-ups. Very easy to do. Okay, do a pull-up. Okay. Yeah, I like to get a pull-up again. That was something that I never envisioned for myself, ever in my entire life, even from a child. Remember when we used to do the physical fitness test in school, like elementary school? I always missed out on the blue ribbon because I couldn't do a pull-up. Dang it. I know. I feel like I've seen you do pull-ups. You work out too. Yes. I got one down right before I got pregnant again. So I want to get it back. Okay. Got a goal in mind too. I just want to get it back after I have to have a baby. Yeah, that strength is gone. Gone. It's gone. I tried. I was like, oh, not there anymore. I know. I just want to get strong again. It was so fun. So that's my goal. I actually have zero fitness goals now that I've looked at my list. That's probably healthy. That's really good. I feel like I want to keep doing exactly what I'm doing on that. I just want to keep red. I've had that same goal just to show up. We're going to ride that wave. We're going to ride that exactly. I can't do it. Another one I have is that I want to take more pictures. I got a camera and I feel like this happens a lot where I'm like, oh, yeah, I want to like share this thing that I did. Even to my story or like text it in the family group chat and like zero pictures. No documentation of that day. Which you would think I have a lot of documentation, which I do. I have like video things, but it's not like stuff that I'm like, I want to, I can go back on and be like, that's that moment. And our kids are only a little, for so long, they're changing so fast. Yeah. Like I specifically want to get pictures of my kids, but me with my friends, like I have a lot of friends I see every day. I don't have a single picture with. And I will be awkward to take out my little camera that I got and be like, take a picture at the part. Yeah, I'll be awkward, but it's fun. It's fun. I feel like it's always fun when you have pictures like I want to organize them in some fashion so I can find them. I'm always grateful when people remember to take pictures. Yeah, me too. I'm like, it's never annoying, but I feel annoying if I ask to do it. Yeah, it feels like you're putting people on the spot, but I don't personally feel that way. I think it's also because we're going to do for my job. But I do for my job. I'm like, I feel like I can't pull up my camera or phone or be weird, but everyone understands I think. Yeah, I think if it's just personal use. Yeah, I'm going to put it in my snap. It's just for fun, Z's OK. My next one is, I need to schedule a dentist appointment. Oh, no. That's been about, I don't even want to say how many years. That's actually scary. Wait, years. Okay. Listen, let me explain. This before you had CJ, you know you're more prone to cavities than you're pregnant. I know. Six after having a griffin. Yes, I've never had a cavity in my life. Oh, okay. So I don't think I'm a prone person. No, but I have not gone since I was 26. You've really got teeth. Thank you. I floss daily, I waterpick, I brush twice a day. I'm very on top of my oral hygiene, but it is disgusting and embarrassing to admit I have not been to the dentist not long. But after I turned 26 and I went off my parents insurance, I just didn't think that I could afford going to a dentist, which I actually don't think that's the case. But then we did get into a sticky financial situation and I really, really couldn't afford to go to the dentist. So now I'm like, okay, like we're normal. We should go to the dentist appointment. Maybe just one visit. Yeah, for the kids, I have like, it's not even like they're on insurance. They have a membership at their dentist office. I feel like we should do that. They probably have that for adults too. Yeah. Cute. Yeah. Just get a cleaning. Actually, you know what, Theresa, one year for Christmas, our mother-in-law got me a dental cleaning for Christmas. Ask her for that for Christmas. That's a great gift idea. I know. She got that for me a couple years ago. Wow. Okay. That's really good. My couple I mean more than that. Okay. This one's relatively random. I have a couple kid ones, so maybe I'll just fire them both off. But check out books from the library. Oh, yeah. That was such a classic thing I did as a kid. I would go every Saturday morning with my dad and we would just like, like, stock up on books. And like, I'm still a big reader to this day. And I think a lot of it has to do with those like traditions of going with my dad and my dad would also, like, it wasn't just like he's going to get children's books with me. He would also go and like, he had like a stack of books on hold to check out for himself and read. And it was like, I feel like that made me want like a lifelong reader because I saw my dad doing it for fun. And it was also just like fun to go to the library. I'm like, it's free. I feel like the kids could like pick it out on their own. And my boys already love to read. And I think this would just be like a fun thing to do. And also fun in the community. I mean, hey, I don't know who you can use the library. They have a lot of events. We go to the library story times somewhat frequently. But I never check out books. I got my first library card a couple weeks ago. Since the first time I was literally a small child. And you know what they told me? They said, we don't charge for late books. In my head anymore. In my head, I thought, that's nice. But I feel like you should have some accountability on these people. Like I need accountability to return my books. Yeah. So I'm pro bringing the charge back. That's what I'm saying. Maybe people just weren't paying them. Because it's like, what are they going to do? Yeah, truly. Or maybe some people couldn't come back to get their books back. I don't know. Yeah, I guess I don't want to like discourage people from checking out books. They're like, take out a lead on your house. You need to return. Turn back, turn back. Another lighthearted one though I have related to the kids is work on letters and numbers with the kids more. This came because my kids can count. But I realized if I were to point to a number, they don't know what they look like. Which I think is the best. But they don't know what the numbers look like. And they really don't know what the letters look like either. We talk a lot about like, eh, apple, we do all that. We count with the numbers. But I'm like, I haven't done the extra step of like, this is what it looks like. Like if you want to recreate it, this is what it needs to look like. Yeah. And then work on that step in the new year. It is interesting when you start realizing your kids are ready to learn. Yeah. Like there is like a fast shift in that. Well, and also since our kids stay home, like I feel like they do go to preschool, they're like really kept to like their milestones more so. Totally. Which is a good thing about that. But we can also get that at home. Yeah, I agree. That's a great one. I want to do 10 minutes a day of on intrepid play with the kids. And we've been talking about this a lot. But I have noticed a huge difference, especially when I'm working from home. I try to keep work time to naps, but obviously that's just sometimes not feasible. And if I'm busy running around the house doing things and I can tell when CJ starts to get anxious and want my attention more because they'll start to act out or, you know, and it's, I'm like, man, I just need to sit down and have 10 minutes with him. And I've noticed a huge, a huge shift in the day when I've done that. Because I want to continue that and try to make that a gold daily. That's a really good one. That's so simple. It's just like, I feel like we get in these modes of wanting to do our tasks and clean and cook and, you know, get our work done. And it's, it can be easy to miss. But it's, it's been really beneficial. I think that comes from Dr. Aiman. Like I feel like a lot of people say that, but he said that like 10 minutes of a specifically child-led play. Yes. Like where they like kind of pick what you're doing or like, mm-hmm. Like you impressed me too. Because you're like, the other day I was climbing under the table with CJ. I'm like, good, good on you. Oh my gosh, my neck hurts a bit. You're like, this is fun. I was at a full half. Under the table. A full half up. Yeah, that's how I built. Because Gryffinds thing is always asking me to chase him. And sometimes I'm like, I need to be sure to say yes sometimes. Because sometimes I'm like, there's, I can't right now. I can't chase you. Sometimes I want you to do that and like, dang, she's got good skin. I'm like, I actually get really tired of running around around now. But then sometimes he wants me to catch him and sometimes he doesn't want me to catch him. Oh yeah. I'm in the room. I can't. I'm in the room right now. I can't chase him over. I'll catch him or something. Oh my gosh, I'm so bad. He's like, that leg. I said, no, do that. Don't do that, Bob. So sad. Oh, that's a good goal. Yeah, I think that's an easy one. This one is kind of boring, but like it needs to happen. And honestly, some of you listeners, you need to hear this one too. I hear us. I need to organize the pain points in my house. Oh yeah. And create a system, not just organize it, but create a system so it doesn't happen again. I'm thinking about my mudroom. Every time I walk through that space, I'm just not happy. I'm like, this is just a mess. So I want to create like a system for it to like find a thing, find what to do with the kids shoes, our shoes, the socks. How can they get back in there? How can we organize that? I think that'll be the first one I tackle. But then I feel like once I get one done, I'll be inspired to do the other pain points. Probably my pantry maybe that couldn't use some work. Like my pantry is created. I have a system there. So yeah, I like that. That's a good, that's a very good goal. And you just start with one thing at a time. One thing at a time. I always, I like the question, are you, there are three things, clean, tidy, organized? Yeah. I would say I'm clean and I'm tidy, but I'm not organized. My house is no systems. I would give myself clean and tidy. Yeah, I feel like we're very simple. Not organized. And it bothers me when it's not organized. It's not like I'm like, oh, no big deal. It does kind of bother me. Like I look at the kids clubhouse in our house. It's just a closet with toys. It's a bomb. It's a bomb. I'm like, how do they walk in here? They're just crunching on top. And when I have to go back there, I'm like, ow, ow. Like it's so, that can't be the first one though. I'll have an answer. I'll have an answer. If I try to do that. Honestly, maybe I need to document that journey. It's literally so spooky in there. I love that. Yeah, clubhouse is really a stretch. Let's be honest. A closet with where a bomb went off. I feel like the kids need a space for it. They can just be a bomb though. I agree. That's what Matt says. But I'm also like, what about just a couple bins to put them in? Yeah. So we have in. Fuller space to walk. Sure. That's reasonable. Yeah. I'll never be. Here's what I'll never be. I'll mark my words. I probably won't ever be, but you know what? Maybe I'll change my mind. I don't think I could be a toy rotation mom. No, I had hopes and dreams. And you know what? I have a bag of toys that sat in our shed for about a year and a half. They've never rotated in. Oh, they're brand new? No. Oh, but now I'm just taking away. Not now. Not now. Yeah, they're not going to rotate. There's a way to do it. Like I have friends that do it. And it's like, you have to have one that you can do this with and one that you can do this. And I was like, oh my gosh. I feel like that's complicating motherhood more than we need. I don't want another. I don't want to complicate it. I don't need another thing. Maybe we just need to keep a room where we just chuck all the toys. The play room. The clubhouse. Or the clubhouse. I will say I do keep, I try to keep his toys minimal. Like in his play area, I'll, I'll take some out and I'll put them back in his room. Yeah. And I'll switch those out. But I'm not like intentionally rotating them. I'm just like, he's not playing with this one. I'll throw in his room and I'll bring out a different one. That's better with a one story house with the two story house. I write my problem is it's like toys. Part of the toys end up downstairs. And I'm like, this is too much to me step. Well, I got a new one. We've been rotating our toys just because the dogs have been eating them. OK. So pretzel is probably going to start eating some toys. We love forced rotation. Yeah, forced. Why are you? My babies are just texting me that she ate the dogs ate something. So you're rotating them or you're throwing them away. We're throwing them away. But then we get her new toys because they're getting, they got eaten. I will say I feel like Lewis has done that. Lewis is our dog. He's done that less with Vivian's toys. Like CJ, who was so excited about the new toys and they were all squeaky. He doesn't care anymore. They like the rubber ones. Like the bath big up and out of the bathroom. The teething toys. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. Also, that is why I also go on more walks as my goal is because now I have a dog. So I want to take her on walks when she learns how to walk on a leash. Yes. Better. Well, Lewis is a great walker, but he's so big that I have to literally tie him to my body. So that's like a personal problem. That's not a pretzel problem. OK. It's just my dog is more of a horse. So when I take him a walk, I'm like wrestling. That's a time. Oh my gosh. Well, he's just big. OK. Well, then why do you? Like if he stops to pee, my whole body yanks. Oh, wow. I'm like halted. Yeah, that's just crazy. It's just different. And dog. I'm like, it's actually not really the sand lot dog. Yeah, literally. I mean, he's gotten a lot better and I take him on walks, but that's the time. He has a girl trained at 16 weeks. So hopefully they can take her not to pull. Yeah. And to walk. I think they're supposed to walk ahead, but not obviously not pull. Yeah. But right now, she's just a puppy. So she's distracted by every cent. And then I have to sometimes pick her up. Yeah. Yeah. The puppy's face is horrible. She's like, she'll do a decent. But then there comes a point where we just end up carrying her. Sure. Sure. This is a more serious one. I want to get back into a regular Bible study routine and read at least four times a week. I feel like I was really good about this, even with CJ when he was a newborn, but now being pregnant and having a toddler, I would wake up before CJ before I got pregnant. And then I was so tired when I was pregnant that I would not wake up to read my Bible. And so then I was like, I just got out of the habit. So I'm trying to like, once now that I'm not up as much in the night, I can hopefully get back into a better routine of waking up before CJ and reading. And it's just good for me to start the day like that. I love that. It took me getting into like an actual study before I was like, okay, this has five days and I'm going to see them in seven. So I want to go to a cannibal. He's good. Yeah, I know it was really good. And then I was like, if I don't have this done, I'm going to feel disappointed internally, but also I will have nothing to contribute. So I need a little public shame. You can join mine. I'm not mine, but what I'm in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I need a little public shame. I need someone to be like, Abby, you failed this week. You really let us down. You let us down. First of all, most of all, you like to go down. And I just need to sit on that. I just think Abby should be the most receptive to that. I think you're right. Thank you for that feedback. You like to be back. You're so good about that. I need to work. That's not how it works, but that doesn't even. Well, the friends tell you, like, God down. Maybe that's... Maybe that's a little more. I don't think that's how that works. I don't think that's how that works. Back to the scriptures. This one's not serious. So let's put it up. I want to learn how to make a good steak. Ooh. I love steak. Sure. I really, really love steak, but it was something that I was just like, I have no business cooking that. Like, I need to only go out to eat that. Sure. I think it's attainable to cook at home, totally. And I have a cast iron. I've tried before, believe it or not, to make a steak at home. People are like, you just need a lot of butter and some time and like, keep going. Or rosemary and just keep, it didn't turn out that good. The thing about that that sucks is it's like an expensive mistake. You're like, dang, that's a good 15 piece of meat, right? That might have been where I messed up though. I thought cheap steak. You gotta go surloin or nothing, baby. Like, I don't know what cuts to get. I don't know where to get it. How do you tell if it's good? Like, do you get the, what do you, what kind of cut do you get? I don't know. I feel like full-eyes of the steak. I get surloin. But surloin when you're buying it from a steak. Wait, is surloin just cow? No. No, no, no. Surloin is a different cut. Okay. And full-eyes is a different one. Surloin's the leanest, isn't it? Yeah, my family used to do surloins well done. That's how my mom does it. The most dry, thin, hard steak. See, I like fat. I like fat on my meat. This is maybe the one area in our lives we different. No, we have a couple. No. You're in desserts. We don't like the same types of desserts. That's true. But yeah, I think maybe our palettes are the one thing that we differ on. Yeah, our taste buds. Our taste buds. I like, no, we have so many different. Abby, whenever we do a Paros, Abby loves to leave the fat in there and I'm like, it's a flavor. Abby asked Abigail to cut the beef. I had to send it or like pull it apart and Abigail just has a whole side of just the fat. I was like, she's like, that's not good. But it goes up. He's like, why is this all you? You're feeling like me. I'm going to turn around now and you put it back in there and I won't watch. You put it back in there. I'm the best part of the roast girl that is good. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I get it. A lot of people don't like it. I just can't really. I like fat. Wake up at or before 7 a.m. again. I don't have to expand on that. That's pretty self-explanatory. The days of me sleeping past seven are probably over. Respectfully. So you got to have one or two days a week to sleep in. Maybe one is fine. Do you want to go early? How this is going? I set my alarm for seven. Alain bed. You set your alarm for seven. Yes. But I don't, I don't wake up until at least 730. That's when CJ's hatch light turns green and he walks into my bedroom. And then he just kills gone for work way earlier than I wake up. So CJ walks in and he goes, mama, the light's green. And then he climbs in bed and I lay there until 8. That is a blessing. He lays his leg. I don't know. I feel like maybe you should just milk this for all it's worth. The fact I know it's stressful. And it, oh, okay. Because then it's like I have to wake up and nurse and feed CJ all at the same time. And it's just too much. So are you just going to get less sleep or are you going to go to bed earlier? Here's the thing. This is a pipe dream. Okay. It's a pipe goal. It's never going to happen. I'll text you. Yeah, it takes me a 7 a.m. 7 a.m. Wake up! Gosh. Well, I mean, I feel like you're unique toddler mom that sends that your kids will allow this to happen. I know. CJ's golden. Such a chill guy. But also loves to sleep. He's your son. He really does love to. Okay. Well, I only have one more. I have two more you have one more. Yeah, you did get me, but I didn't take it personally. Sorry about that. It's okay. I forgive you. Caleb and I have been talking about dopamine. And we're going to do a, whoa. This sounds like the most dreadful thing ever. But we're going to do a dopamine fast in the new year. Okay. Well, I don't really know what that entails, but apparently it takes all the joy out of life. So no sugar for a week. Listen, Abby, I told you I do not want to do this. You guys have done this before. No. And it's honestly hard on everybody. Yeah. Let's get ice cream. It's like. No. I know. Well, yeah, I know. And we're getting no screens. Mm-hmm. No TV. No stimulation. No. No brain. Like nothing. Stimulate in the brain. So. How are you going to work? Well, yeah. See, that's my loophole. Maybe make a YouTube video of it. So then you're working, but you can't do anything else. Yeah, that's good. I like that. But then you can't post it. But then the video is the most boring YouTube video of all time. No, I feel like people have done that before. Really? Yeah. It just me laying on the floor. I'm so bored. That's the thing you're going to end up finding other things to do. Yeah. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I think that'd be healthy. I'll just say my last one quickly. It's short I want to do a monthly one-on-one date with CJ and Vivi when she gets older. Cute one-on-one dates, especially with CJ now. I could do that. That's really cute. Yeah Just we're adding more kids to the fam so giving them more one-on-one time. We did do this and the kids were so sad that they worked together I'm my daughter that all you was in the car and you guys went griffy Are you like in a car just like kept yelling it? Oh, yeah, I do want to do that But they really love to stick together that's we yeah, but I think I'd be good for them. Yeah, they're just attached at the hip they really are Okay, my last one this one I have had on my resolutions and I gotta be honest failed at it miserably I gotta do it this year volunteer more. I think I've made every excuse in the book of like oh my kids are too little like I have to Well, whatever I have to do I just want to be more involved in our community and serving more because I Just feel like it's a discipline that I used to have a lot you guys used to volunteer all the time Yeah, thank you and I just I hate that I genuinely have lost it. We're at 0% for that and it's It's something I'm like okay, well I can make all these excuses But if I don't continue this now like I'll never continue it and also model it for our children Mm-hmm, and we have an organization that I really want to volunteer with here locally and so no more excuses Gotta do it this year. Well, let me know when you do it because we'll join. Yeah, it's also a zero percent volunteering So I'm not much I'm not any better in my area. Okay. Yeah, those are great. That's are good. Okay. We'll check back in later We're gonna keep you kind of on your dope me fast. Wow. Wow. That's crazy. That's really crazy and scary Can you text? I don't know. I like hails at the rules, and I'll just support a minute I'll just send you a note no Letters all week I'll get you on Sunday So do we explain our ass Abby segment? Yes What is it? We're gonna ask Abby's ask ask ask Abby's So this is exciting. We wanted to do something where we could incorporate the audience and I think this is like a thing Is it like ask Abby? I've already think there's another there's another Abby who started this Yeah, we're taking her inspiration. I think it was a call in the newspaper like a while ago Don't quote me on that, but we're giving her credit. This is not an original idea and we're on the first Abby's to do this No, we have a phone number that you guys can actually call in and leave us any type of question whether it's a personal question for Abby And I adding like all of us if it's an advice question for yourself Get to know us whatever it may be. Do you have the phone number? It is 602456 9690 and we'll put it in Instagram bio sure Yeah, so you can call in whenever it's best. I'm really excited for this like I'm excited to like actually get to hear from you guys And this is fun. I think so too see the phone. I wish that was the actual phone that that they were I would ring. Oh That could be scary. These are vetted For this first episode we thought it would be fun to reach out to your guys' friends and family to ask questions or Ask advice and so we'll play a couple of those now. Babies have never heard these. So this will be the first time they've heard them I'm excited because it's just our friends and family. Yeah, that was really sweet of that that is sweet So this is the first one some of them don't have their names. So I'm interested to see if you can tell oh Okay, so hello I was wondering how you guys Thought of always here. Yeah, I'm so excited for you guys. Oh Amber Okay, so I feel like I got to give you credit for this one Abby Abigail that's kind it was I mean we were trying to think we had a lot a lot of Brains from excessions about the name turns out a lot of our ideas were not creative They were not created already existing and turns out chat gbt's ideas weren't creative either so Plagerism plagiarism So we were thinking you know, I was kind of like what is what do we have in common that we would want the logo to be The logo for the show will probably be our initials a h because we're both Abby Howard We were so it would have a lot of names that had Abby Howard in it and none of them. Yeah, the biggest what was the biggest one? Abby Howard you one. Yeah, Abby Howard square Like that was recommended by many different sources, but I was like a h is our logo That's what we have in common so if we can find a podcast name that big the first letter I've been into the an A and the second later letter in H That would be probably would make a lot of sense and so we typed it into chat and we were like okay Give us some options and always here was on that list love it And there's kind of the tie-in of we're always here for each other. We're family we're best friends And we're always here for you guys our community and so there's kind of a yeah a communal I love it me too. Hi guys, okay, so Don't tell me getting married next year my question to you is What is your best advice for being a wife and transitioning into that role? Okay, love you both bye. Oh Me too, andy. Oh sweet. I'm so excited for her the number one thing I always tell people it's very simple and it's silly a little bit, but I think you just really have to remind yourself to be kind to one another it There's so much going on and the engagement planning planning process the wedding It's stressful and fun at the same time then you move in together for the first time like in our case We didn't live together before so then you're navigating all of these first together living with someone and You're meshing your life together. It can be very easy to be impatient or snipy or like get into a lot of small arguments And I feel like I found myself a lot of times just being like just respond kindly and I feel like that saved Just a lot from small petty bickering fights of just like taking a deep breath and just be like Okay, like you know what I mean? I think just reminding remembering to be nice like you're nice to them when you're dating Yeah, you don't want to lose that one you're married, you know, just because now you have the covenant I don't know it's silly and it's simple, but Yeah, I guess I mean it's because it's easy. It's like I know you're gonna stay. Yeah Mine is very much along the same lines, but I feel like say sorry often and quickly and I feel like that is something that I still need to work on all the time where it's like okay, you know what? Me trying to win this thing because what do they say if you're winning or if they're winning you're both losing and so it can feel It feels like it's just like my own self-righteousness in me. That's just like I don't need to do it I feel so justified in what how I'm behaving, but like just like quickly be say sorry quickly and Often yeah, and I think that would just Resolve a lot of things keep life moving because also you're still living in the same house You're still sleeping in the same bed. You're still waking up together in the morning No point in dragging these things out and I think that can also become a pattern to like in marriage It's like oh, we're just gonna be silent or you know hold this grudge for a certain accident about a time. Yeah That's good getting that practice. Yeah, don't be stubborn and don't keep score And I think it's also reciprocated to yeah, you do that Why do you need to tell your parents? Don't do it because you're expecting it to be reciprocated, but I think that it will also benefit Yeah, you in the end. Yeah, totally. I am Abby and Abby I know you guys will start your new podcast and your case in questions and I have a question for you girl So I know that your husband mad Caleb are from St. Louis and I know that Abigail is from St. Louis So do you guys ever have any plans to ever move back to St. Louis where you can enjoy the four seasons and Maybe have more family around just curious. Thank you. Bye. Not the sales pitch in her voice mail I love turk that was so cute. That's so cute So sweet you mom you asked me this daily. I don't know why I don't think the answer's changed I'm feeling she needs to move to Arizona. That's what I'm saying. She loves it here. I know We're starting to petition a good one out here. Is your answer now? I mean for right now Yeah, I don't see that happening, but sorry mom. I love you so much. I love my family Hi mom, thanks for the question. That's really sweet. Love you You did not answer that Hi, I'm super excited you two are starting this new podcast So my question is do you have any special Christmas traditions from when you were kid that you feel you might also continue with your own kids? Thanks. Bye. That's cute. That's so sweet. That's my mom. She actually brought us sparkling apple juice and Lindor chocolates to celebrate today, which is so sweet. We love our supportive memories Christmas traditions. Okay, this actually maybe is the time to implement my resolution that I forgot to put in oh I'm really big in tradition But I'm also really big into weekly traditions because they truly shaped my childhood So I can think of several but like I knew that every Friday night. Oh my gosh I'm gonna choke down thinking about my grandpa. I knew that every Friday night I was gonna stay at my grandparents house and every morning I was gonna wake up and have blueberry Ego waffles and hot chocolate with my grandparents and I was gonna go to the library with my dad sometimes we go bowling like Wednesday nights we would get dinner with my grandparents Sundays We had dinner at my grandparents like we had a lot of weekly traditions that Truthfully are the things that stand out the most when I look back on being a kid and it's not like I really loved our memories at Disney I really loved our memories from traveling but like when I think about like That nostalgic feeling of just like being a kid it really always takes me back to like those Friday nights So Sunday afternoons like those weekly things and so I have always this has been something I've been really aware of the entire time you've had kids I'm like especially because I don't live in my hometown and I we didn't have family out here when we first had kids I was like I want to have weekly traditions and so I started doing Sunday dinner But so I have Sunday dinner on we host at our house every week most of the time then less something comes up But I really try to stick to that and then I want to in state too new Weekly traditions one or two new this year. That's very ambitious, but they don't have to be huge Like I'm like Friday night we could get pizza and watch a movie or we could do like oh we play games on this night or something like that, but I had a lot of traditions in my own house We played games like every single night growing up. That's my mom right there We played a lot of games we played banana grams and I was like when I got married I was like we're gonna play banana grams all the time Matt hates banana grams. Oh no This is part of starting traditions. We play monopoly deal to us. Oh, that's good marriage advice If you're mad find a game that you can play where you don't have to talk and you can like avoid the subject of whatever's making you mad and by the end of playing the game Might not matter so much anymore. Yeah, it's like her did. It's fun. It helps you distract and they're like we're actually friends Yeah, we put together. Yeah, it's we all had to say Christmas traditions. We had a lot of them But I remod I remember so many like really fondly you start cuz I just talked a lot Well, I was thinking about it. I think that's true I'd be out like the idea of traditions and I that's an in kill but I've talked a lot about two for Christmas I loved if the night before Christmas obviously we would put cookies out for Santa and Carousel for the reindeer and that was always very fun and exciting You always make a big deal about it So I want to do that with CJ and also we did St. Nick on December 5th I think which I didn't do that with CJ this year But we put our shoe on our fireplace and St. Nick would come and give us like a pre gift for Christmas, which was so Fine because you know the anticipation until Christmas day is so crazy. You get all the presents at once Yes, and so it was always fun having that little like taste of and it was kind of the intro into the holiday season So I think that'd be cute to continue. That's really sweet. Yeah From when I was really little at like the more traditional church We would go to as a kid they did a Christmas pageant every year of like the Christmas story And they would always give the biggest candy bags. I remember this every year That's what I remember that gave the best like candy bags all the assortment. I really remember that I also remember me and my brother both are very fixated on traditions I feel like can you definitely definitely definitely a subway yeah We would always get Taco Bell on Christmas Eve and play Monopoly. Oh, that's fine We did that one year and then the next year we're like we didn't even have to have a conversation like we're doing that again We're gonna do this we're gonna do this often. Oh, and so now every year on Christmas Eve I'm like this just feels kind of weird that we're not eating Taco Bell and playing Pop Playback. Oh, that's like last year Blake made a Roast for either Christmas day or Christmas Eve and he's like so should I do a roast again? Like he's like we did that last year So are we like gonna keep this going and it be a tradition? I really think it gave us such a sense of like stability. Yeah, I felt very safe as a kid I feel like that played a role in that. Yeah, I think I always hear about your guys' traditions like I know your traditions Like I can tell you that on Friday night to spend your night at your grandparents house And then you'd watch cartoons in the morning with the egg a waffles like you didn't need to tell me that Blake has told me that like so many times Yeah, that's sweet. We looked really locked in on those things I think it was like our family though too like they really prioritize family time It was nothing extra like extravagant Yeah, but like that just made me feel so safe as a kid and like it also played into Christmas Like also we would get Christmas. This is a long one. We get Christmas Eve dinner with our omnis family I love that made great food. I believe it Okay, I have two more and they're each directed towards each of you one of you. Hello always here ladies I have a comment and a question or Abby First off, want to say I'm so proud of you and the woman you are and the mom you are excited I'm excited for your guys podcast and in journey I'm excited to see where this goes. So my question is What is something that I do sometimes But wish I did more frequently and marriage So I'll leave it with that love you Guys so so Caleb is so tender. I was just my birthday and he sent me like probably the nicest texts of every He read it to me and said oh my gosh. That was nice than when I sent her Sweet, I was like that's amazing so nice. I know. I love that he sent that okay. That's you something that he does in mirrors I wish he did more that's a good question Oh, I don't want to like put him on the spot. Hey, he invited it. I think he should write me more love notes He used to write me love notes all the time and I have like I have pages of them I saved them like math does and yeah, they're getting a little stale babe We're gonna get a little refresh on the notes. Thanks for asking Okay, last one. Hey cutie. It's your husband Matt I just wanted to follow in first of all say how insanely proud I am of you for watching the show This is a really big deal and I just I actually can't believe you're doing this I know you've talked about doing your own show with Abby for actually years now So I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you guys But my my question for you is what does it look like for a husband to adore his wife in a way? She can feel every day right because I think there's big gestures that we can make us husbands to make our Why feel adored and loves but you know what's what's maybe like a small thing a daily thing that goes a long way and Something maybe that really matters to you. So I love you I'm so proud of you and I can't wait to listen to the first episode go you That's sweet. Oh sweet. I thought of two things But one of them is just so like why is it a big deal? But why do I like feel so taking care of what he makes my Coffee more? Yeah, I'm like oh that just makes it I don't know about adored I but like I don't know I think it's I'm a service girl. So like your words of affirmation. Are you I'm all of all of them? Okay Yeah, there's a fully time is my biggest one. Okay. Yeah, well Like he's made my coffee the past like several mornings like he just comes in with it I'm like you knew I needed that But this makes me it feels like a movie whenever that happens I'm like I feel like I'm just living in a romcom where I just wake up and my husband Super hot and makes me calm But another one I think that I also want to do more of myself is just like acknowledging efforts Because sometimes I feel like with the daily life especially as a mom and a wife like your role It's just easy. It's just it becomes routine And so it just becomes like okay like this is what I do and this is what you do But like I think it goes both ways like okay Yes, this is an expectation that we do this every single day basically or every week But just acknowledging it every single time or like a lot of the times Still makes me just feel really seen and like appreciated and ultimately a Door when that happens he's like gosh this dinners delicious like thank you so much I'm like Thanks. Yeah, I made it for you 500 times That's really sweet. Yeah, oh, we love you guys I can't believe we did this I feel I'm sweaty so I am so much I Am excited. This is like the biggest thing I've committed to in a really long time And I feel very honored that you asked and that you trust me at this and that I feel like you're right this timing was perfect And I'm excited to go on this journey with you guys. Yeah, I just Shout out to everyone for all the works that a lot of work for everyone Yeah, a lot of work going into especially Addy like thank you so much We'll get some of the kinks worked out as future episodes go But this was really fun and just really appreciate y'all supporting the show and tuning into our first episode Call the number if you feel so inspired and we'd love to listen to you on the show and remember where always Here