David's Last Vlog

what's up guys welcome back to views what is fucking new everybody here nally's here naveen is here who's married to jason yeah um mystery that is unsolved yeah but we are getting closer to it we're gonna be on mythbusters this week mythbusters is naveen an idiot yes Does she have all our faculties What's a faculty So guys we are back We just posted a new vlog Jay you were a big help for editing today Thank you I was screaming I was pretty aggressive this time Actually you were very chill Is there something in your throat Natalie? No I'm good I didn't see him be too aggressive Natalie you helped too Actually you didn't help at all That is true I was the leaves helpful this blog in comparison to others. You were pretty tough to edit next to it. I was really tired. I kept falling asleep. But you're doing a good job because you're pretty damn close to me not ever calling you again to help me edit those, which is actually probably something that you would... Oh, my God. Really? Yeah. Wait, this is so exciting. Yeah, so you're on your way out. Do a job poorly so you never get asked to do it again. Get fired. Yeah. It's a very big life lesson, and Natalie is fucking crushing it with doing that job poorly. Yes. She sleeps a lot, then she farts, and then she eats, and I may have mixed up the order, but that's how it goes. She farting next to you? That's so terrible. Yeah, 100%. No, he farts. I don't fart, Natalie. I've really never made that sound in my life. Stinky. I've seen you fart and you don't hear it. No, you don't hear them. They're not loud, but they smell. Okay, we've talked about this. Can we just fucking move on? Anyway, vlog, posted, vibe. Yeah. I'm excited for the newer vlogs. Excellent. When can we expect those? I don't know. I have no fucking clue. But I'm so excited not to edit vlogs. because I come into doing this podcast and I'm just like, I don't know what happens. I don't even know what you're posting because I don't listen to them back and I don't hear you edit and I just take Natalie's word for it. You guys could straight up be editing these like crazy, just butchering everything I'm saying. It's just me actually doing the monologue, most of them. Have you noticed we only record for five minutes? I have noticed that. I was wondering how you make that 40 minutes. So you covered the other 35? What do you talk about? I just get in there and I talk about Steely Dan and mostly it's just all rock talk. Guys, comment if you want a Jason solo pod. Yeah. That'd be sick. I'll bring it to you. I'll bring it to the people. I'd be down for that. No problem. Take a little break. Did you take the vlog apart and then take it apart and then put it back the way it was? Did you? Because I was here Friday night and then you had it a certain way. Then I came back today and you had rearranged everything and then Brooke told me that you put it back to the way it was. I'm sorry, not Friday night, last night. Is that true? What do you mean? The vlog. Did you put all the wedding stuff in the end? What did you see? No, wedding stuff is in the middle. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Oh, yes. Okay, so I had a little watch party. It was Brooke, Alex, everyone. Brooke, Alex, Ilya, Taylor, Julia. And no, John came in a little late. And I was really worried about the wedding part because I was like, I can't really separate myself from this wedding part. I'm a little confused. He's like, will people enjoy this wedding part? Or do I only know it because I know John, I know his family, I know Reggie. So it means a little bit more to me than it will to random people. So I didn't count for it to be as good. And then they all watched it. And then they were like, the wedding is the strongest. It should go last. And I was like, oh, what the fuck? So then I was going to rearrange the whole vlog to put the wedding last. But then it just wasn't making any sense. But they were also there too, so you don't know. Well, Brooke wasn't there. and oh yeah I guess you're right actually a lot of them were there it's tough to say but again yeah you should just post what you're doing so here's a vlog but that didn't go in because I feel like we need to talk about some spicy stuff here this is supposed to be the end of the vlog but we got Alex Ernst a car for weeks months almost a year Ilya has been doing recon to find out what Alex Ernst favorite car is and this was for when he completed his Zilla transformation we were going to get him this. This is going to be part of the video. Surprising him with a car. His dream car was a 1996 Rolls Royce. Which I was not expecting. When I heard it from Ilya I was like are you fucking sure? Also I was stoked because a 1996 Rolls Royce just so happens to be a very inexpensive car. Which is really incredible. So great that Alex wasn't McLaren 720S or anything insane. they're listed for like 50 but you could find them for like 15 to 30,000 um we was like car guy that like shout out to phil who like will go to scour auctions and stuff so we got the car for like 20 grand it was a fucking great deal right um usually car surprises are you know between 50 to 250 yeah so this was incredible um and but but like the entire time i was like it was a really hard car to track down no one wanted to sell everybody everybody that we were dealing with also that owns those rolls royces i think there's only five of those in the u.s they're pretty rare just because like they're fucking 29 years old but everybody was like schizophrenic everyone was really old there was one a lot of people thought we were scamming them because i think a lot of older people own obviously a 1996 car right there was one guy that that had one in a different state and i won't call it the same because i feel like he's the only person in that state with this car sure um but he full-on had like a panic attack about us he was like full-on schizophrenic started started um like our phone number is not attached to like schizophrenic is an aggressive word obviously i was just saying that for dramatic i don't know he was actually pretty no he was just he was just making up weird like accusations about me being a scammer yeah what would be the scammer i don't even get it my phone number is not like i was telling him my name and trying to you know whatever and my phone number is not attached to my name it's attached to a different name are you on your dad's account i pay for it thank you but it's not my name um but so he was like i know you're not real and then i was like i promise i'm real can we have a phone call the texts were insane the texts were like it was like someone battling like a shadow like they're like you're not here i was like let's hop on the phone and he was like you're a scammer i can't speak to you it blocks me we were gonna send out john to fly across the united states to this place john was going to get the car in one day yeah um and then the guy was like nope i don't want i'd like i i don't want to do business with with you you're not a real person your name's your name isn't carmy or whatever he thought it was um but then in his defense like that's what's out there these days no for sure also yeah so the fuck's buying i mean even i think he was just oh and then and then the person we bought it from was also like listen terrified of scammers yeah yeah yeah it was like an older woman and nally was like she was really cute she was like please don't like screw me over like they're like a elderly couple that own the car and she was just like please just don't be a scammer like we've been taking advantage of and i was like i promise you i'm not gonna take advantage of you there's something going on but what what would the scam be in the 1990s rolls royce business that is fucking shady as fuck. Even though I was bringing a cashier's check, she's had fraudulent checks. Oh, so you bring the check, right. But for the people that were out of state, it was like doing an out-of-state trade. I wasn't going to physically be there at the dealership in this state to do it, so I don't know. Even the guy, yeah, he was like, someone needs to meet me face-to-face. So we were like, my God, okay, so we'll send John. It was just like a five-hour flight to get there. John was happy to go because John likes this place. Luckily, there's a restaurant he likes there. It's like, you'll go for a day. It was a wrong place over there. I wanted to check out. Yeah, unfortunately that fell apart. But anyway, we got the car. We got her. Surprised Al on video. This is supposed to be the end of this video. We filmed this yesterday. And I could tell I was like, I don't know. Because immediately Alex turned around and he goes, what is this? But right before I was like, what car have you been wanting? like when he had his blindfold on and he's like well is it the car that ilia's been trying to get out of me and i was like god damn it ilia you're the worst fucking spy ever and then i'm like okay yeah what car is that and he's like 1996 rolls royce and then i'm like yes yes it's that and then and then like literally within like eight seconds i'm like al have you did you want this car or did you just not know what car to tell you and i was like i honestly don't know much about cars but i'm really really grateful um he was really appreciative of the car and i was like i'll just give you the cash instead of the car like i'll just give you 20 grand sure uh and he's like no no no no let me like let me like let me let me think about this like i'm really appreciative he was being very being very sweet and it was really funny because we kept playing into the fact we were just like you're so ungrateful he was like panicking he was panicking but like i didn't care because because for no second did i think that he actually wanted this car and i only got it because it was a reasonably priced, really cool car. The car's also a headache. The speedometer doesn't work. A 96 Rolls Royce and any Rolls Royce in that time frame is a joke in the car community. They break down a lot. I knew we were giving Alex a problem. Even when I gave him the car, I was like, Alex, do you just want me to sell it and just give you the cash? That was going to be the plan. What are you going to do with the car now? Now we've pivoted. I think I'm going to make a second channel video where Alex is like, can we take it to a car show? Yeah. And I was like, okay, I'll go with you to a car show. Yeah, because that was the only reason why he wanted the car. He was like, he wanted to have a classic car that he could just take to a car show. Yeah, but it turns out he doesn't have a garage. Right. So he doesn't know where to put the car. And he sells the Tesla we got him a while ago, like eight years ago. So he doesn't have room for another car. And then I was like, okay, I'll make you a deal. I'll give you, we'll go to the car show and we'll sell the car the week after and I'll give you 20 grand for the car. Yeah. but you have to this weekend dress up as my driver like fully gel your hair back like only talk to me when you have to talk to me and drive me around all night when i go i want to go party and i want to smoke and i want to drink cigarettes in the back of the rolls royce and i want to drink wow so i'm gonna make a video out of that like him being my driver the really cool thing about the car too is on the actual dashboard it says that it's it's the number six out of 50 of those cars like it's only wow it's really sick and the car has built in shock like a shot glasses in the car really like it's a shot glass holders and it's built in obviously there's cigarette dispensers all around the car the car incredible yeah don you have to open the trunk turn it on That what John said No no no John tripped a wire or something on accident But what really cool about the car too is it's kind of upgraded so it has power windows. We hit play on the CD player and just started playing this classical music. It was so cool. Straight out of a mob movie. The car's really exciting. I want it for my... If it wasn't going to break down i'd a hundred percent get myself one yeah it's so cool you feel so cool in it i'm really looking forward to like going out and having alex drive me around while i just like drink whiskey into the back or something i think that'll be a fun video i don't know i don't even know if i'm posting a vlog in two weeks or what we shall see you stay tuned why would you why would i yeah why don't you just get ready for your new thing yeah i don't want to you're right i really don't want I fucking hate making the vlogs. Okay, but elaborate because that sounds crazy. You can't say you hate it because it's so fun. No, I love filming them. I don't like putting them together. Take it back. Putting them together is a headache. Yeah. It's a puzzle piece. It's a puzzle piece. Yeah. And it's weird. It's so hard to explain if you don't do it with us. Yeah. And then if you watch it, I remember we were talking about putting the vlogs together, I mean, every week for the past eight weeks. but like someone like commented something somewhere like I don't know what he means when he says like that he's putting these vlogs together in a specific way and I'm like yeah I mean that makes sense like it's like it's like if you have a bunch of funny clips of Zane on the street right and he's out there and he's being funny on the street yeah there's like there's a lot of funny stuff that Zane says so you can cut that down to like 30 seconds and you're like wow that's really funny I don't think it's that I think it is and then you get it then you get it then you even get it down to like 15 seconds and you're like wow like that's the very very best stuff and then that's what like makes it really move no that's not the complicated part it's like when you're when all the clips are sitting at 15 seconds and it's like how how are they like touching each other how do they like uh-huh like it's that connecting that's the important like for what like the vlog this was a nine minute vlog and for the last 48 hours we are like like actual time we spent i think like the last 15 hours it was at like 13 minutes it was at 13 minutes the vlog was at 13 minutes and just like adjusting the last 13 minutes to get to nine yeah it took about 15 hours of like actual editing because i was just like kept rearranging i was like this isn't right this isn't right this isn't right um but and i don't like doing that i don't like doing it i don't like doing that i don't like i want to do the vlogs like the pod like i want to come in do it yeah goodbye and then i want to watch the video like oh fuck we did this yeah i don't even want to give fucking notes even though i know i'm gonna have to but i don't want to give notes i just want to i want to i want someone to play it back and i want to watch it back like someone came to my wedding and shot a video for me you know i'm like oh that was so fun in rio yeah like i think that would be really fun get there with somebody you can actually get to that place i don't think you can i think so really yeah i said something the other day to myself in the shower what did i say like i feel like i've been i was like it feels like i used to capture like moments and bits and now it feels like the moments and bits are capturing me. What does that mean? Well, it just feels like now I'm just like a slave to like the idea of a certain bit or something rather than just like having things naturally come and happen. I really want to go back to that. I'm just, I'm tired of like, I don't know. I don't know. We've talked about enough. Enough is enough. That's what we do every day in our vlogs. We just let the bits come. I'm so inspired by the dailies. You guys are the inspo. Oh, I promised you, Jason, and you could, I gave away Natalie for the day. He offered my time. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because Jason was helping me with the vlog. Jason gets so stressed out when he sits on my bed. Is it because you're dirty or why? No, no, I was clean this morning. Okay, so he sat on my bed. We had it on my bed and he wouldn't like fully sit on my bed. His legs were hanging off. My bed's big, so we could easily all fit with that. No, I just don't want to be crunched next to you. But you're not. You're like so far. I know. I have a weird thing about like cuddling you. That's not what we're doing. You make it sound like I have to fuck everyone. You guys are close on that bed. No, we're not. Sometimes. I've seen Joe. Joe will put his head on your shoulder. Joe's fucking weird. Joe will like reach over and like point to something on the laptop but he'll rest his hand on my leg. Like in like a flirty way. I'm like, are you genuinely trying to fuck me right now? Or you'll be so pissed off and then Joe will like show me his like an instagram post he has with like chrissy tegan or something but you don't see it it's really funny he loves his chrissy tegan book signings yeah it's really funny um no but yeah then it was like jason please just sit on the bed you're like stressing me out and jason sat down then he got up and just i just fucking see his like basically i'm looking inside his ass just see his ass crack asshole just drag across my bamboo pillow like with my favorite comforter just i i know i'm gonna get pink eye tomorrow just fully shit covered no his butt is clean no i know he told me he showered last night which is like i forced him yeah yeah which is also like not a thing to nobody brags saying they showered yesterday i'll be honest that's the weirdest shower let me break it here let's let's break this news here i hate showering he like cries before i have to pull out a blow dryer i'm like i promise i'll blow dry you dry it's gonna be so comfy when you get out and he's like no no and then he does it yeah i have so much hair he always does it and then you come out wet and you're like a dog when you come out like that hairy chest it's just like i hate it oh i hate showering and i know that i have to and it's the worst i wish you could just take a pill you are the fucking craziest 60 year old man i don't like it if i have time and like i'm not doing anything yeah okay i'll jump in the shower but it's just like how many days a week you shower no he showers every day I shower every day but like okay if Naveen wasn't around yeah oh if Naveen wasn't around and like I didn't have to come over here like if you were out of town I mean let's put it this way Jason's feet used to like the whole room would smell I haven't smelled Jason's feet in like four years because of you when I come over here I'll even say to Naveen I'll be like check my feet I gotta you wanted me to come over like last minute at some point like in the last 48 hours and I was like I don't have socks on I was like I gotta get socks I actually thought it was weird so Jason came here last night and he was here for a while but before he left he was like I gotta put socks on and stuff because I don't want my feet to smell but he's not someone that cares about that and then he's like missing all night and I'm like what's going on oh wait wait wait sorry that is the first thing he said when he came over I need socks Dave I need socks and he was like so I was taking Charlie to school and you were like, come over. And I was like, I'm not going over near Natalie with no socks. Wait, wait, you forgot to put on socks in the morning. I woke up, I wake up like this. And then I'm like, oh, Charlie, I gotta get Charlie. And then I fucking run over there and I'm picking up Charlie. And then she's late. So I'm trying to get her in there by 8.50. Then I get a text from David like, yo, what's up, Jason? Come on, come by. And then I'm like, I'll come by. But then I look at my feet. I'm like, I don't have fucking socks on. I can't go over there. You leave the house without putting socks on? It's crazy. You never do that? You never just throw your shoes on and go because you're late? I mean, I take the extra 10 seconds for the socks. That's fucking wild. Okay, so I can't. Me putting socks on is not like you putting socks on. Oh, it does take a minute. It hurts. So I'm like, oh, I gotta fucking put my socks on. Is it like the equivalent? Like if I had a torn wrist or something and I was in a cast? It's like that, yeah. Okay. It's like that. Because things do get annoying then. Yeah, even to bend down, you're like, oh, I can't. Okay, so how many times, if we weren't around, or Naveen, would you shower a week? Deadass, don't be funny, just be serious. Naveen's out of my life, and you guys are on vacation? Yeah, be serious. And you're out of my life? Let's see. But you're still going out, like, going grocery shopping. Yeah, you have a social life. I'm not, like, seeing people. I would go, like, probably not shower for a couple days. Give me, like, how many times a week? I mean, like, I don't know. I would shower, like, at least three or four times a week. Oh, okay. That's fine. That's fine. But I would go a whole day. But now, as I've gotten older, like, I just like, I sweat a lot and I'm like, I really can't do that anymore. The cleaners were, Natalie was like talking to the cleaners about like their schedule and stuff. They like outed me so bad. I was so embarrassed. What did they say? Well, I was just, I was, yeah, I was talking to them about like the timing and the schedule and stuff to like rearrange days or whatever. Yeah. And they were like, but Natalie, David uses seven towels a day. That's what takes us so long is the laundry. she's like that's why we're here for so long each day is because the laundry takes so long he only has one washer and dryer you don't talk about my towel usage and then when I heard it I was like oh my god and then Natalie goes and then Natalie continues with the accent she goes Natalie he uses one so his feet don't touch the ground and I go no there's no way they know that and then Natalie's like no I'm kidding I made that one up but I was like oh my god Well, because I go into his bathroom and I do see like four of them on the ground. No, those are used towels. I have seen you like take a towel and like throw it on the ground for your feet. Okay, so I just... Why are you looking at me like I'm crazy, Jay? I'm trying to figure out how you use seven towels every time you shower. Listen to this routine. I come from a crazy household. Okay. That's like... Where? Two, three towels. Vernon, like your family? There's no way they were like, hell yeah, David, use seven towels. No, no, it's the complete opposite. It was the opposite. Oh, okay. So he's compensating. Yeah, it's like one towel for the week. Yeah. And you hang it up to dry, which is very standard. And you don't know who's using the towel, right? That part I don't like. It's just there. It's one towel for the whole family. Most likely, you're getting the good towel. You just grab the towel that's dry, right? Okay, I've spoiled myself since I've come here, okay? Wow. I understand. Look at you. I understand. You indulge in a little towel time. I indulge in a little bit of towel time. That's why I love hotels. Because, you know, when they say, do you want the eco-friendly version where you can dry your own towels? I fucking ripped that paper. I turn into a paper airplane and I throw it out the window into the fucking nature. That's how opposed I am to saving energy for towels. No, I really do. You're into your towels. That's cool. But I shower at least two times a day. Right? Twice a day? For sure. When? Why? It's pretty normal. Like when he wakes up when he goes to bed. You wake up because you're sweating. is a lot. Yeah. I'd sweat in my sleep but even if I didn't I would always do that. I don't know. Once a day is more than enough. I think it's because you're so used to being so sweaty. I shower twice a day. If I play pickleball I'm showering three. If I'm doing sauna I'm doing three. So there's a lot of moments where I'm showering three times a day Wow Very very normal So that is seven towels Very normal And you won use the same towel in the same day even though it from Yes Yeah And I completely agree that this sounds fucked up and like my hands are up I'm guilty. Whatever. But yeah, I'll use one towel for my upper body and the other towel for my lower body. I just like to split it. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I go one towel all over. Yeah, no, I know. That's just the kind of guy you are. I just like to split it. You wrap like one on the top, one on the bottom? No, like I'll dry my top. and then I'll dry my bottom and then if my bottom doesn't if I've dried the bottom part and I'm still wet at the top I have to grab the third because I've already used the first one that I used as my upper body as now my floor mat oh I see and then that goes on the floor do you have one on your hair? no hair air dries no hair I just use the towel that's my upper body I think you need another towel I may have to sell it up to 8 to 9 you blow dry your hair? no no no I'm pretty like normal about that but yeah so that's kind of my schedule but it felt crazy when I heard it from another person I was like oh my god like they are really like they're in there they see things he's crazy with the towels he's turning into Howard Hughes it's kind of crazy is that crazy like how much cleaners really get to know you sure ours find Naveen's crack pipes all the time yeah Too many crack, too much crack Funny part is when you have weed or something Oh my gosh, yes And then they put it away for you Put it away like really cute We had a maid once Eat the pot brownies Really? Wait, how did that go? She had to go home early Oh my god She's like, I'm not feeling so good And I was like, go home, go home Because I'm always super nice to maids and I think that's the toughest job. I'm like, yeah, yeah, no worries. Go, go, go, go, go. And then I looked. The thing was off on the tinfoil. The tinfoil, yeah, whatever. And I was like, huh. And I was like, oh. You're like, oh. I think she got into it. My grandma, I think I've talked about this before, but my grandma used to be a housekeeper. Yeah. And she's super into it, but she had to quit because, well, at first she had a fling with the guy she was housekeeping for. Ooh. I know. It's kind of like a telenovela, huh? Yeah. except Hungarian version. But I don't even know if it was a fling, actually. I don't know. Maybe I just felt the tension. I was really young, so I guess I didn't really know what was going on. But she didn't like working for him because she felt like she wasn't doing enough, which I always thought was really interesting. She was just like, the house is so clean normally that I feel like I'm useless here. It's really interesting. She didn't want to take the job anymore. Yeah, she said he was paying too good. Prideful Dobrik. For nothing. That's a big thing in your family. having pride. I don't think I would ever do, I don't think I'd ever be like, I'm getting paid too much for a job. Oh, yeah. Like, I don't know. Yes, we know. Okay, okay. Just to make sure. Well, remember your grandmother when you grabbed that seventh towel. I feel like she'd want me to use it now. Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a reward, you know? It's like, it's the perks of my labor. Yeah. It's like a reminder of the seventh towel when I'm almost already dry and there's no reason to grab another one just to really top it all off. I feel like you deserve it, Dave. I really like hearing people's what they splurge on. Everyone has weird... I always say travel and lodging is important for me. What do you splurge on? What are you just such a... It means pretty frugal. I'm not a splurger. I mean, I won't eat cheap food, I guess. I feel like that's like... What do you mean by cheap food? Like, what's... Like, if I was... Like, even if I had no money, like, I'd find a way to get, like, a meal that's, like, good. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't just be like, let me just get Taco Bell. Or, like, let me just get something, like, fast and... Excuse me? You wouldn't get Taco Bell? I would never get Taco Bell. She doesn't eat any fast food, ever. That's... I would eat, like, maybe a French fry. Taco Bell is, like, baffles me. Cut this out. No, I'm kidding. But, like, actually, what the fuck? I mean, you took me once to Taco Bell, and I was baffled by it. It's not real meat. And that's weird. I hate to be that person, but. What? It's just like. Taco Bell is incredible. Really? Dude. Yes. That's why I love having friends that grew up here in Beverly Hills is because a lot of them have never had Taco Bell. Right. Like Olivia Jade, one of them. She still has never had it. She's had Taco Bell. She's had real Mexican food here. She's never had quesadrito. Yeah. So like that is something that is on our menu to go fucking try on. It's really exciting. But like, I mean, how old are you? Yeah, around there. I mean, you're what? 33. 33. Okay. So, like, that's no excuse. For what? To not have Taco Bell. What do you think we're talking about? I mean, I don't think it's original. Oh, I've had, like, I've tasted Taco Bell. Oh, okay. You just don't like it. No. You're how old? 29. No excuse to be eating Taco Bell. Really? Oh, yeah. No better. My body kind of, like, runs on it. And Duncan. It is kind of astonishing how terrible the mix of food is that he eats, like the different fast food restaurants, whatever he chooses. And it does fuel him. He doesn't get tired. If I ate like you, I would literally be sleeping for half the day. Oh, that's interesting. But he gets energy. Same person that was putting his butt up, talking about his hemorrhoids and stuff. Yeah, there's got to be some other consequences. First of all, that hemorrhoid was like a false alarm. She's coming back, isn't she? no that was another false alarm okay she's maybe coming back but it's not as bad as it was before it's a girl you're having a girl you didn't have a gender reveal the one thing the one thing that did fuck me up was the Zila training that's what like I used to have three meals a day I only eat two now how are you saying that the Zila oh just because you switched to something so healthy Yeah, because I got to like 2,200 calories a day. And then I realized how like every single night without fail, every single night at 1 a.m. or 2 a.m., I would either get pesto pasta from Bossa Nova or Taco Bell. Every single night. I'm not talking like, oh, I'll do it tonight. It's every night. Pre-transformation. Yeah. And that was my third meal. I never do that anymore. I got home drunk the other day from going out and I ordered Taco Bell and right as I ordered it I fucking popped a NyQuil I was like I'm gonna beat this bitch and I'm gonna fucking fall asleep before it comes cause I was like I can't do this I can't do this and then I woke up in the morning Taco Bell was sitting right outside my door and I was so fucking happy yeah it felt really good I never thought to do that I had it in the morning but Oh. It's not the point. Wait, actually? You ate it in the morning? Or the Baja Blast. Oh, okay. If I were rich, I would hire someone to stand in my kitchen at night. Really? I'd just be like, nope. I mean, you can do- That's like such a waste of money. Yeah. You can just get like a lock. That's what you do? Yeah. Like an automatic lock that you can't undo from a certain time to certain time. I did that once with Wyatt when he was a kid. Wait, wait, wait. What? You can get like a lock on your cap. Like you lock a door and it locks everything up from a certain time to a certain time. You can't unlock it. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's fucking terrifying. I did it with Wyatt once. I put a lock on the fridge. Shut the fuck up. And I gave him the key when he was a kid. You gave him the key? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you locked it from Wyatt. No, no, no. I was like, here, take the key. No way. I was like, take the key. And then it got to be like 2 a.m. and I was like, Wyatt, wake up. Wake up. Oh my gosh. I'm like, you can't keep waking me up. Oh, you had your son lock the fridge from you? Yeah. I said, take the key. Don't fucking show me. Poor kid. That's really funny. That's really funny. But like also kind of dramatic. That would be a really, that'd be a tough battle. No, dad, please. I can't. It's game over the second you start thinking about food. Yeah. That's when it is. But like if you don't think about it, you could actually go quite like quite some distance without eating it. Of course. Yeah. But like, what does that even mean? Like, how do you just stop thinking about it? Well, have you ever talked about like, we haven't talked about it in a while, like masturbating, for example. Like if I don't think about it. Hacitation. Yeah, because I was like. Eh, fuck it. So if I don't think about it, I'm totally good. Sure. Then the second my head goes there before I'm going to bed. Sure. I'm like, I probably should. Because like. That's like any addiction. That's just what, that's literally just what addiction is. Really? But masturbating, you sleep really well. That's exactly what it is. That's tough. because this is why this is why I think this is how I sell it to yourself this is how I think about it I'm like okay it's 11 o'clock I can go to bed right now but like in an hour and a half I may like I may just not be able to sleep because I need to do it so I'm just gonna do it now yeah get it out of the way I don't even really need to do it but I thought about it I'm just gonna fucking do it so I'll get a good night's rest that's how I am with like taking like a gummy at night like a little weed gummy because I like will take it so consistently I'm scared of taking all those things I feel like they're gonna fuck up my sleep forever but like I'm scared that like I only take kids melatonin. I've definitely built a tolerance for sure. Like my tolerance for weed because I take gummies at night like is so much higher now than it used to be. We should stop taking what we're taking. What are you guys taking? Propofol. Oh that's good. Have you heard? It's really bad. We're not taking that. Whoa that sounds intense. We have a doctor come and minister Propofol. Yeah Propofol sounds fucking intense. We take like a Unison. It's like a over it's like NyQuil. It's like the thing that makes you sleepy in NyQuil. I used to do NyQuil like every night for a while. I did like in high school. I loved NyQuil. Yeah, NyQuil's good if you're drunk and you're like, get me out of here. Oh, really? Yeah, if I'm really drunk, I'm always popping in NyQuil. Don't advocate for that. Let's not do that. I mean, obviously I have the worst takes here. Do you remember when I said take antibiotics just when you're feeling a little bit not okay? When you think you're not okay, just pop an antibiotic. I had so many DMs from doctors like, please, dude, do not say stuff like that. yeah yeah whenever you have a light cough you take seven day antibiotics it's not funny do not take medical advice from us people were tagging me diplo was at an after party for the grammys right oh fuck he didn't invite you and they were tagging me they're like david he fucking lied to you because last podcast i told him that i hit up diplo to see if he's having his party and he said he's not um and yeah he didn't to be fair he wasn't having a party he wasn't having a party yeah and i and it's a very specific diplo house party that i was asking for it's he's the only person to actually do it i think that's like ever pulled it off like that it is literally like 1500 people on a fucking it was like one of the hadith estate or something right Yeah the Hadid dad It was fucking it a it massive It massive And it always the biggest shit show in LA because it not like it's actually why it was so interesting because it was like one of those parties that was like, you had everyone from the Grammys there, but then you also had just random kids of LA. Me, like I shouldn't have, like I was there fucking 18 year old, 19 year old Dave was there, 21 year, whatever I was at the time was like at this party. and like just because I waited outside the fence long enough and like that's why I think that's probably why I think it's so fun do you remember it yeah of course dude it was a so it was ginormous when I say estate I mean like four pools just ginormous and there was this one like there was this underground do you remember this movie theater yeah it was a movie theater room I've never seen people hang out like that do you remember that it's like ingrained in my head well okay elaborate because I feel like I know it was like these red velvet movie chairs very fancy The lighting was very Delilah-y, very warm and elegant. And it was a theater that probably fit 20, 30, 40, like 140 people in this house. In a house. But they're all like luxury couches. On every luxury couch, on every single couch, it's friend group after friend group after friend group after friend. Everyone's just hanging out in the movie room. Not a single spot is taken anywhere. And everyone's just talking. It was the coolest vibe ever. Where it wasn't like anybody was like passed out or like fucking too drunk. Everybody was just like, they were having picnics. What's that place that everyone goes to in LA to have a picnic? Griffith Observatory? No, no, no. You go, it's like the hot new spot in Venice. Everybody like. Oh, oh, oh. Penmar. Penmar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Penmar. Okay, so it's very like Penmar-y. Yeah, yeah. That's what it felt like. It was very. Just cool people talking. I think everyone was like smoking weed in that room. I think everyone was like chill. oh that could be it but i'm also like referencing like what people call here in la like peak la that was like that's like when la had like the fucking there's just like an incredible i don't know what was going on and what happened since then but don't things come in waves they definitely come in waves yeah i think it's definitely gonna come around yeah we were talking about this yesterday it's back guys come on we gotta get someone's gonna do it there's the people are here there's plenty of people here yeah it's just someone has to like bring it all back around and make it cool again it's just too expensive to go out um yeah i think it's gonna i think once we turn like 31 32 i think it's really gonna i don't know why but i'm just feeling something and and there's a decline in drinking yeah yeah so lots of times now people they go to like coffee parties have we talked about legalizing cocaine on the spot or no i just thought about it again the other day and I was just like thinking I was like would that not increase like I'm surprised that the government doesn't want that like would they not like regulating like would then you get so much money through alcohol and like everything and he talked about this but and she was like and then hospitals David yeah and then people are just going to go to excess yeah into excess and it's going to cause more issues okay interesting they can't like encourage people no one overdoses from POTS yeah I don't know dude POTS fucking POTS dangerous not that POTS not dangerous but It's not like cocaine. And alcohol is dangerous too, just in general. That's true. I don't know. Alcohol is, yeah. Lucky I don't do any of those that we listed. You know what I hate? I hate when you're watching a commercial and they go, I'm going to get ready for the big game. Yeah, you can't say Super Bowl. I hate that. Why are you? So annoyed by that. You know like most of our sponsors say that, right? You can't say Super Bowl. Yeah, you can't. Why doesn't the Super Bowl just go, go ahead, say Super Bowl? I don't know. It's so lame. I don't know either. It was like the first job I got with Jennifer Lopez. Yeah. And we couldn't say Super Bowl. Yeah. And we were at the Super Bowl. The whole thing was like. I'm really excited about the big game. Yeah, that is a really good question. Like, why the fuck does somebody own the word Super Bowl? And why are they so goddamn stingy about it? Yeah, the NFL is weird. Is that the NFL that owns it? Yeah. I think so, yeah. Or is it like a random like Bruno Mars character? No. Somebody bought it. Where is the Super Bowl? No one says it. San Francisco. San Francisco. Hmm. You mean the big game? where is the big game where is the big game were you there when we went with J-Lo yeah when we sat in her box that was really crazy it almost felt like sitting behind the Kennedys it felt like sitting behind it was her and A-Rod and her family and it was like we weren't allowed to say anything about her on the podcast we weren't? no we were not allowed to even mention that we were in that box with her. Oh, shit. How long is that up for? I don't know. I think the statues are up, but no. Oh, wow. Well, that makes sense. But I will say she was- If someone was in my box, like I- Yeah. Well, actually, no, I don't know. If I was as big as J-Lo- Sure. Then the- And she was a great mom. Yeah. No, she was cool. I remember watching her like, oh, wow, she's like a real mom. No, she was great. She was really sweet. That was like one of my first celebrities that I've worked with, and I was fucking so worried. Yeah. Remember when I scared her? I was hiding in a bush, and I popped out and I scared her. She was like a good sport about it. Where were you? I don't know. Is that with my mom? A couple times with you. It was in Minneapolis, no? It was in Minneapolis. She was doing some interview and I was like, I'm going to crawl through those bushes and scare her. Can you film? And someone was filming for me and I just like went right through and I scared her. She barely flinched and she hugged me after and she thought it was funny. She thought you were like adorable. She like ate you up. I think she liked you. Because I was literally young and I very easily did not know it. You could tell that I did not know what I was doing. So she's like, this guy, poor guy. Shout out J-Lo for... Rawr, J-Lo! Yeah, really. Oh, David, you scared me. You little scamp. David, such a good content creator. Can't wait to see this brand deal go up. You're a cutie. that j-lo gig is the reason why i'm here today wait what that was you you were filming that campaign during my like two-week trial that i you invited me out here for two weeks and you filmed that thing with j-lo and you're like come with me and it was me you and joe vulpes and i was like okay and i didn't really know what to expect or anything and then like and you didn't tell me anything about what you were doing or whatever you're like i have to film something for at&t oh at&t that's who it was yeah and then j-lo like walks out of a car and he's like filming all this stuff with jay-la i was like holy fuck he's like famous and shit i should go work for him oh i feel like you've talked was that wait what was the first moment where you were back home and something happened and you were like oh that's really cool like did you see something from home that i did that it was like oh this is actually more legit than buying um something norris chuck norris oh yeah were you there jay yeah i went to chuck norris's ranch i remember chuck norris's ranch i saw a facebook post it's like a selfie of david and chuck and i'm like back in front of my own but i have no idea what the fuck david's doing out in la and i see him post which i was like oh my god he's collaborating with chuck norris it's great well chuck norris was that was like his that was like his peak too that was like when like the first internet memes were being born and it was all about chuck norris he jumped out and scared him too right he punched you the throat. No, but he like, remember, he put me in a headlock. Did he? Yeah, he put me in a headlock and he like, really put me in a headlock. Obviously not for long enough, but for the two seconds he was going. And it wasn't even close to passing me out. But I felt like the Anaconda grip, like just for a little bit. I remember we were in the dojo. Yeah, we were in his dojo. You know, on the mats. Yeah. Yeah. And I remember they were like, let's get Chuck in there. let's get him to get david and i was like oh this will be cute and then chuck was such a like had killer he just has killer instinct so he can't not do it and not knock you out yeah he felt that i was a threat yeah he's like i gotta eliminate this guy and when he started to choke you i was like oh no i was like oh it's gonna go sideways yeah that was that was that was probably like my first j-lo or i guess chuck first for sure chuck norris was my first wait what is chuck norris known for I honestly I don't know he's just a badass in movies oh he's an actor like I mean we know him action star we know him from like Expendables but he like earned his way into Expendables so I don't know like when Stallone was like making he was a fighter he was a kickboxer I think oh okay and then he transitioned to movies I remember when you were doing J-Lo and I remember you were racking your brain for an idea and I just started working with you and you were like really really shitting bricks you were like I fucking need something for J-Lo like I gotta get something for J-Lo and it went on it went on for like a couple days and I remember I'm so dumb. I was like, oh man, my mom loves J-Lo. And I'd be like, but I didn't make the connection that you would want her. And for two days I was like, man, it's too bad it's not me. Because then I could have my mom do J-Lo or something. And then finally it was like nine o'clock at night and I was like, my mom really loves J-Lo. And you were like, what? What? What the fuck? What do you mean? I'm like, well, yeah, it's her favorite celebrity. I've been fucking trying to solve this for three days And it was 10 o'clock at night And then we had to call my mom Who was like 78 And like you gotta get on a plane now But not tell her why And she got on a plane Your mom's been probably the best sport She's the best In not knowing where she's going Especially at that time There couldn't have been anything exciting on the end Do you know what I mean? Yeah Now it's like get on a plane It's like okay he's gonna at least give me a car but like yeah that's kind of crazy yeah i remember the idea was it was like a fear box challenge yep so it was like uh it was like uh originally the idea was we're gonna put j-lo in the box we're gonna have jason's mom feel what's in the box and like sometimes you put like a stuffed animal or like a lizard or something or like a bunny and you freak out the person one of the people is supposed to be j-lo but i was but then we're like we can't put j-lo in a box We're like but we can't put Jason's mom in the box So then we had J-Lo feeling Lorraine And then J-Lo's like Is this a person? And Lorraine's like is that J-Lo? And then that's how we surprised My mom went J-Lo was pulling her hair But then when she saw it was J-Lo She was like She forgot all about that She was so excited That's really funny Shout out Lorraine Shout out J-Lo shout out jack norris hope you guys are doing good all right guys that's all the time we have for today's podcast thank you guys for listening go watch jason's daily vlogs with naveen they are ripping it up every day every day and every day bro vlog just posted one see you guys soon bye