C03 - Ep. 21 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Slip of the Ship

The Stinky Dragon vinyl is here! For the month of March, we're dropping the first ever Stinky Dragon vinyl album! This limited edition record happens to feature all of your favorite hits, like Step Into The Stinky Dragon, Introducing The Infanites, Sleek Symphony, and even the high octane, Smarsh Is Still King! It's the ultimate way to experience the saga of The Infanites and glorious analog. I'm so excited you get a physical piece of media, but don't wait, when it's gone, it's gone! Go order yours now at store.stinkydragonpod.com. Grab yours before the music stops! Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run, and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand, marketing tools that get your products out there, integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time, from startups to scale-ups, online, in person, and on the go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup. Global innovation is accelerating, but how are businesses staying in the fast lane? AWS AI is how? Like Formula One, turning race action into real-time insights, and the AI momentum doesn't stop there. From energy companies using smart grids to prevent surges, to educators personalizing lessons to move at every student's speed. Across industries worldwide, AWS AI is how industry leaders stay ahead. Merri Meetings all you merits, make waves into the stinky dragon, and drink up our latest leaf juice. Genie meaning, miney moe. It's a mixture of misty veil and matcha powder, created or destroyed cucumber water, water blasted basil leaves, and topped with an aquatic flash lemon slice. One mouthful of this marine life mixer, and you'll wish you had three more. Drinks, not wishes. Three is all you get. Previously, our adventurers were acquainted with Elva, Toll's Thaumatec sister. She dropped the disguise of imposter Pancak and let B team in on her quiet quest to search for the sea drinker, but their relative reunion was cut short with cannon fire. The privateer pressured the party to provide his stolen prisoners and map. B team blundered through a half-baked portal plan, which ultimately climaxed in commandering a ship. Latch onto our libation and let's leap into our lore. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Cerola. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. She's a lot of coffee from Gus. That's not the sound that an arrow makes. They don't go pew, pew, pew. Pins on the arrow. Can you give us the sound of an arrow, John? What was that? It's actually good. It's actually really good. It's just air. It's all it is. It just looks like you guys are spitting on your microphones, and they're now stinky. Maybe a twang of the target. I'm blanking on what's the rope part? The thread. This week's arrow question. It's never too early to think of the future. What are your retirement plans? And that's submitted by FABIRD. Roll initiative. Yeah. Let's get this ball rolling. Let's get this party rolling. And yes, I have had a lot of coffee, Blaine, to answer your earlier question. Thank you for confirming. One, 11, tree. Okay. So you got Natty first with a 17, Gunther second with an 11, Toll third with a three, and finally bring it up the rear. Doug with a one. Doug with a one. And twos. All right, Natty, why don't you lead us off? Hello, everybody. I'm John Reissinger, and I play Natty Wonder, the Drow Warlock, Drag Queen. I'm going to make sure to throw that in there. People need to remember, there's a queen in this party. Work, Diva. Thank you. On the topic of retirement plans, I'm going to be honest, I haven't really put a lot of thought into retirement plans, which I think is sometimes kind of common with people. It's hard to think that forward. But I think in my particular instance, once I became the mother of what will soon be the bringer of the apocalypse, I figured that's my job until he does his job, which will be the end of all things. I don't even worry about retirement. So that's my plan. Plan is no plan. Your plan is for your child to end the world. Yeah. What a beautiful ending. It's a natural order to things. Everything has to end. Can you name anything that never ends? No, you can't, because that's not how stuff works. Time. That's story from the 80s. Time will end at some point. I see everything. Nothing is infinite. Or this is the song that I hate it. 90s kids remember. Yeah. Sounds like a single mother drag queen raising a child that'll bring about the apocalypse. Sounds like a great show on TLC. I will watch. Thank you, Natty, for letting us know your retirement plans. Up next, we have Gunther. Hello, I'm Chris DeMers playing the gunther. For my retirement, I have one of two plans. One is to go and back with hopefully seeing my wife and kids again and grow old with them and upraise them and become a grand crook full. And then the other is death. Wow. I sense a theme here. It's very practical. Morbid party. Well, if I do not achieve one, then I will achieve the other. I'm still caught up on the TLC show about Natty's because it's just, it's like the show after the secret lives of Mormon wives would be the drag queen raising the anti-crisis essentially. I will just call it the gay agenda. So Gunther, I do want to point out you can achieve both of those goals if you want. I know you said one or the other. Yeah. Well, one is inevitable. Well, one before the other, you can't do it the other way. It's very true. Yes. As far as we know. The order is very important to me. And how many kids does Gunther have currently? Well, a lot. Okay. Thanks, Gunther. You know, we're halfway through this arrow question. I hope that we can proceed without someone talking about death being their retirement plan. Okay. Next, we got Tove. Yoo-hoo. Yeah, it's me, Tove, talking about retirement. You know, to be honest, I do not know the life expectancy of a Thalmentech, which is what I am. Surprise, surprise. If you are like skipping ahead three episodes. Wow. What are you doing? You just missed all of this cool story. We haven't asked yet. Do you have a warranty? No. That's like a question. No warranty plan. Okay. I don't know. Don't objectify me, Natty slash John. You just said, I don't know how long I last. You brought up the topic of breaking down. I was wondering if you got a plan for how to get fixed up. I do not know. You are asking me questions that are out of my understanding. I don't know. Ironclad didn't want to spring the extra 15 bucks at checkout for the extended product protection plan. He did not get the Best Buy Geeks Squad extended coverage. So, I think I'm just going to continue to work and I might explore different hobbies and make those jobs and maybe take on different personas. I can try out different looks. Why not? In worst case scenario, I break down and hopefully I will become like some beautiful statue. You know, like you could put me on top of a fountain and I just rust there and birds can land on me and hopefully not poop on me. I can't tell if that's like a potentially a form of torture to be just like trapped in a body that you are constantly like conscious and aware, but you can't move or do anything. Yeah, that is like the premise of the song I am Iron Man, you know, by Black Sabbath. That's like totally what happens to him. It's also the Tin Man from Wizard of Oz. Yeah, but we do not talk about the Tin Man because if you have not seen Vicked, he's such a jerky, jerky face. I do not associate with the Tin Man. So, yeah. I've not seen Wicked. I'm learning something here. You know what? Also, really quick first, for our Patreon listeners, I just found a camera reel that was like eight to 10 years old. And it's a picture of me from middle school. So it's older than that. Just the Tin Man. I've never had photographic proof that I played the Tin Man in middle school. I found it. And I think that's something I'll have to bring to second wind. Do you ever talk about how you play the Tin Man? I played the Scarecrow in a camp play. We have talked about that. Yeah. But I have, I have visual proof. I'll show you guys and then get you guys hyped. Maybe we can talk about it on second wind. We will. Yeah. Which if you're unfamiliar, that's another podcast we do just for people who support us over on our Patreon, www.stinkjrgpod.com. If you support us, you can get access to second wind on top of many other special abilities, special perks. There you go. Listen, I'm looking at a D&D character sheet. This is why they script commercials. Check it out. Stinkjrgpod.com. Yeah. Okay. That's me. Bye. Thank you. Cole. Oh, I'm also I'm Blaine Gibson. Sorry. He's apologizing for being Blaine Gibson. Yeah, that's my bad guys. I'm sorry. Finally, we got Doug. Hello, everyone. I am Barbara Dunkleman and I play Doug Boone, the artificial bugbear currently at level five. And you know, I've thought a lot about retirement and there's like so many things you could do. You know, you could do birdwatching, you could pick up a new hobby, you could travel. All these things sound pretty good, but you know, I feel like Doug being someone who really likes to like build stuff and create stuff, I think I really want to get into and I'm going to try to pronounce this as best I can. Gaudening. Gaudening. I think the idea of like, you know, starting your own garden and like being able to grow these beautiful things and things you could eat. And you got to be really precise about how you do it. Everything requires different love and attention. I think it'd be really fun and like a good way to spend Doug's energy after, you know, when he's old and done his life's work. If you need like a scarecrow or someone to hold very scale to scape the birds, I know somebody. You know, I think that would actually be the perfect pairing. When you were Tio into a statue, you could be my scarecrow. Perfect. That sounds nice. I'll take a long nap. I honestly didn't think you were going to say garden and you were building that up. And I thought you were going to say that you were just going to get into trains. Oh, maybe trains. Maybe maybe Doug already devils into trains, the two chews into such. We're going to find Doug's like childhood like room and it's just going to be that's all it is, is just like 30 trains going around, but they're all like different directions. Yeah, you got to have your obsession. This is very off topic. And I promise I'll only talk about it very briefly. I learned of a train station in Hokkaido, Japan. It's kind of like rural out in the country and they don't see many passengers anymore. So one of the things you can do if you go to that train station is you can stay in the train station. It's like a Airbnb kind of deal. That's awesome. The station master will cook you food and like grill like barbecue out on the station platform for you. That's awesome. Yeah. And I was like, man, I really want to do that. That sounds so cool. That's one of the main reasons I want to go to Japan is that I am a train kid. And I every time I hear about these special trains, the cat, that's the conductor of the train station or the one that looks like the spirit away train. I'm like, I got to get on these trains. The ship is yours, captain. At this point in Gunther, you helped Doug to his feet, presumably. And last skill walks over to you, Tove. They pet you on the shoulder, reach into their pocket and pull up the map from earlier and ask, So do you know how to sail? Because it's time to sail to a missing island. Overhead the rain soaked pirate flag, your commandeered ship flaps violently in the storm skies. It bears an insignia of a skull wearing a blindfold. And you hear a voice that yells from the port side. We have them where we want them. Fire on the blindfold over there to the star mouth port side general area. You look over and see the privateer screaming at the Noel crew on an armored bowl shaped ship. Long spindly blades protrude from its railing. Spinning propellers are fixed at its bow and its stern. And the side of the hull reads the bow blade. But sir, isn't that ship a part of the dockmaster fleet? The privateer shoves a nearby Noel aside and yells, UGH USELESS SNORATES! He grabs a corked vase, yanks a crank and throws the vase into a spinning propeller now aimed at your ship. The ceramic shatters the pieces and unleashes a cloud of greenish yellow gas blowing straight for you all. As it draws closer, Elva turns to you, Tove. They forget quickly that I've been on this ship before. Come with me, I'll need those raging muscles of yours. Okay, yeah. She makes a dash across the deck for the cap stand. Clockwise changes how we look to them. Counterclockwise shows them what they fear most, your call brother. I would say counterclockwise if we were going to try to scare them. Also, I'm so sorry, did I mishear them? Is there a thing called the bay blade? Are they going to let a rip? They're the same thing, Tove. Yeah, like what's the name? What is this, the 90s? You're going to pull out the Pokemon cards in a yo-yo as well. Oh no, it's the bow blade. It's one of the three ships that are part of the dockmaster. What's the other one called, like the Furby? Or the Furby? Oh no, it's the flying eel, of course. The flying fold, the bow blade and the flying eel. Oh yeah. All right, that's what we're on. He says he's firing on us. Okay. And our flag has a blindfold on the skull. Okay, so counterclockwise. Yeah. Okay, we're going to show them what they fear the most. What do you think that is, brother? What should we show them? What do they fear the most? If they're like ocean faring, then I think like a giant squid would be very scary. Oh, you're going to use the illusion thing. That's what we are. Yeah, the flying fold. What if you just showed them a vision of us winning? Is that something that would scale them the most? I mean, like maybe like a, oh, oh, oh, how about a giant squid riding a surfboard on a tidal wave? Wait, the giant squid is on a surfboard? Yeah. That's great. Cool. That's terrifying. That's a big surfboard. It would be a very scary squid. It's going to hang a... Okay, Elba begins helping you, you're told, and you begin pushing the cap stand counterclockwise. And as you do so, that cloud of gas begins enveloping everyone, filling your lungs. So I need everyone to go ahead and make me a constitution safe. Okay. Find it, Andy. 11. 25. 12. That's a nine. Plus three. 12. This poisonous cloud of gas begins filling your lungs. Everyone begins coughing violently. Gunther, you save. You only take 10 points of damage. Everyone else who fails takes 20 points of damage. Oh, you begin coughing violently. Guys, I'm uh... Doug begins coughing violently and then stops. He must be better. Yeah, that is very, very close to being down. I'm not doing so hot. Yeah, I'm down. I'm completely down. All right. As Doug slides around on the deck, you see a giant tidal wave appear on the horizon and very quickly come closer and closer. And what is that on the tidal wave? Is that a longboard with a giant squid on top of it? Oh, no. It looks like it's getting closer and closer and it's going to overtake the bow blade, which very quickly turns so that it's perpendicular to the wave, pointed away from it to try to ride the wave out, which turns it away from you all. Perfect. How do you, how do you put your foot on the gas? I give Elva the honors. It's been a bit since I've been at sea, so, so Elva, let's use our ship boaty experience and get us out of here. Okay, brother, we'll do. Elva begins pulling on ropes and instructing you, Tove, and you work together solidly as a team. It's just like the old days, you know. It's been a little while, but it comes back to you very quickly. But I just want to clarify something. I know in the last episode we were referring to Natty as Captain Natty, but who is at the helm? Like, who's navigating? Who's running the ship here right now? Like, Natty, Tove, obviously not Doug. What is your order, Doug? No, I believe I am the squad captain, whatever you call it, for army. So if you're squad captain, Natty is self-declared captain. And then there is Captain Grumbles, who's also, right, higher rank. I would go to Tove, who's like, knows what he's doing, but if you know what you're doing, you shall take Captain, Captain. So we have three captains now. We have Captain Natty, Captain Grumbles, and Captain Tove. So you're giving me the mantle of responsibility, Captain Hood? Yes, because I have never been at sea before. It is scary. Also, look at that giant squid on the surfboard. Can a squid do a shaka? Is that possible? Like, I know it's got like a tentacle tip at the end of its tentacle, but can it like fold it over? Figure out a way to draw it and send it to us on our discord. Yeah. How could there be three captains if we only have two hands? Like, one captain's fine, two captains, two salutes, but three captains, it's like it's one too many. Curtsey. You can salute the other two and Curtsey to me. There you go. Me and Captain Grumbles, we're just captains in name only. Captain Grumbles ain't even alive anymore and I just did enough to get us this ship. I'm not in charge. I don't know what even any of this stuff is. People who have experience on the ship, the helms should take over ASAP. I want to be very clear though. Captain Natty has such a good ring to it and Captain Grumbles has been through so much we cannot take his rank away. So how about I am Admiral Tove. Oh, sure. I'm fine with that. You all are in the army and I believe the title was actually team leader. I'm just reigning it back in. What? These naval terms aren't part of the army? What are you talking about, Gus? I will say that I admire you, Tove. So Admiral makes sense. It's a good soldier. Okay. So, you know, as one third captain of the team, I nominate myself as Admiral and I say that we, the Squid Brigade, as we will now be known, you know, because, you know, we were the B team but we have so many extra members. So now I think we should be called the Squid Brigade. One man, they should be. How many of the masks have been shot while we talked about this? I'm like, let's come on guys. Yeah. All right. Private Parts is writing all of this down, seriously. Okay. Let's get out of here, though. We should make our escape. Okay. You turn the ship towards the open sea and begin setting sail. Elva turns to you, Tove salutes and says, where are we heading to Admiral Tove? Oh, let me see. Where is my boy, Laskeel? With that, Laskeel pulls out a map and points to three points on that map where they believe the island was last seen and says, we could head in this direction. Thank you, navigator. You've been, you've also been promoted. So we are going that way. We are going to save the sea drinker. Oh, okay. Your set sail leaving land behind you and it fades slowly into the distance. And I assume at this point, someone tends to dug and props him back up on his feet. I will try. Not the Captain Grumble style. No, please don't reanimate me. Oh, no. He's not dead yet. He's incapacitated. I know what dad is. I've created enough. What do you do, Natty, to try to tend to Doug? Since what took Doug down was noxious gas. I do the compressions to try to get that gas out of his lungs. But instead of doing it staying alive, although I know there's a new one. There's a new one. And there's like, it always was like, do it to the rhythm of staying alive. And then they updated to another song, but actually Natty's going to do it to nine to five. And it's just Captain Grumbles give mouth to mouth. No, I'm not mean. It's just the idea. Y'all want to be main to each other. I just Googled. So there are several certified CPR songs. I the tiger is stronger by Britney Spears. I mean, there's things goes on and on want to be by the spice girls. I guess like every successive generation, you keep finding new songs to people know staying alive. So they got to like to another one. Yeah. Okay. Doug with a gas. You fill your lungs with clean air and wake up and find yourself on the ship surrounded by your friends with Natty beating furiously on your chest. Yeah. I'm going to say Captain Grumbles is probably nearby. Doug gets up with such force. He knocks Captain Grumbles. Captain Grumbles, I think would then hit the side of the ship and maybe toss overboard. Are you trying to get rid of my captain? I mean, I'm just, he was close by. He woke up with a fright. Barbara, I appreciate the effort and I'm going to reward any opportunity to try to get rid of NPC. So take a take an inspiration die. He's not falling over this time, but take that inspiration die for the attempt. I appreciate it. Metagaming wise, do I just regain one HP? Yeah, you could set it one and we're about to get into some downtime as you all are traveling on the sea. So you'll be able to take like a long rest or a short rest or do whatever it is you need to do to try to recover some of that health. Hey, Doug, we're at the same level HP. Natty, I've never felt more connected to you in my whole life. I say we just we hang out like below deck for a little bit until that man says we can take a rest. You know, I think I think I might have seen your wife briefly. Yeah, beautiful. I'm kind of jealous. Hey, smack me real hard real quick. Maybe I'll get seared for a second. That raises an interesting point what you just said there. There is a lower deck that you all have not explored yet. So really, like I said, we're going to be in a downtime. So if you want to explore the ship, if there's something you want to do, if there's like objectives or things you want to do in this downtime, you know, let me know this is a good time to try to kind of explore and build out those things. Now that all of my secrets are out, all of my Skellington's have been thrust out of the closet. I can admit to so many new things like if I were to take a rest, I have this thing called Sentinel shut I don't sleep. You know, this entire time where we've been sleeping in bunk beds, I've just been watching you sleep the entire night all three of you. Is that fun? Goodness. Is that why back in the first episode, you wanted to sleep in your own bunk separate from everyone? Yeah, because I just like to sit here and watch my party and make sure that they're all sleeping well. You know, I do. I want to say, though, Doug, I think you should look into a CPAP machine. You know, very loudly. I'm quite concerned. Oh, well, you know, I think it's because I fall asleep on my back so often, because these beds are really small. So I'm trying to get comfortable, you know. Gus, don't you sleep with one of those? I do. It's great. I love it. Let me tell you, if you snore or you think you have apnea, go see the doctor about it because you don't know what real sleep is. You don't know what real sleep is until you get a CPAP. I'm just saying. Yeah, take care of yourself. It's important. Yeah. I think Doug would spend some time sleeping and actually like resting because he's he's badly hurt and probably wants to regain a little bit of his health and also some some of his spells and whatnot. That's what is Doug's self care routine. What re centers and rejuvenates little Doug? I think honestly, Doug's not used to being on the water, but back when Doug would stay home, he always dreamed of being in the ocean. So he made a little machine that would make these like ocean sounds on it to help him sleep. So I think right now being in a boat with natural ocean sounds, he's he's out. He's out like a light. But metagame wise, I guess, is it am I able to take a long rest or is that something that we might not have time for? Yeah, why not? Are we all able to long rest or? Well, I mean, you tell me, you I'm like whatever it is you want to do, what's your what are you trying to do? Is if everyone rests, you know, who's driving the ship? Like who's at the helm? I have an activity that I would like to have some help from, but it's from required the whole team. So I shall wait till Doug Doug. Are you sure for Douglas or is it just Doug? Okay, just Doug until Doug recuperates. So we do shifts Admiral. Well, I will be staying above deck with Elva because I miss her so dearly. So I will be doing my Sentinel zone out thing with her and we'll be going in shifts driving the ship and catching up while you guys go below deck and rest up. You guys have been working so hard you go squid crew, I command you to take a rest. Squid Brigade. Squid Brigade, whatever you are already forgot it immediately. Already forgot it. I took a long rest. I need that. I'll take a long rest. Same. Okay. Can I make sure I just I've noticed last skill has a tendency. I want to make sure that my stuff is I'm sleeping on my supplies or under it. Okay. That raises a good question. Where are you all going to sleep on the on the deck here? Now I would go underneath below deck. There was like a under below deck. I had to burrow. Yeah, there is a lower deck. You can go down. Is it called a galley? No, that's where you eat quarters quarters quarters. I think it's where you sleep. Yeah, that's where I want to sleep. You go to the lower deck. And as you walk below deck, Doug, you know, it's kind of dark. There's very little illumination below deck. And you see two dark and dank jail cells. And the only exits you see are the stairs that are sent back up to the main deck. And there's a door at the bow and a door at the stern. Bow front stern back. Yes. I'll do the stern. You begin walking to the door at the stern when two creatures stand up and begin calling you over from the jail cells. Hey, hey, you. Oh, no, you're not a null. Let us out. I'm just a visitor on this ship. What did what did you guys do? Why do you are in jail? I'm sure people say this all the time, but for us, it really was just a misunderstanding. Well, I mean, I don't this is awkward. I don't have a key or anything. So I'm Meemur. What's your name? Doug. Nice to meet you. I'm Meemur. And over there, that's Bethesda. Oh, big fanio games. Meemur is a dwarf and Bethesda is an elf. Do they look familiar at all to me? Make a wisdom check. 21. No, they do not seem familiar to you. Okay. Where did the privateer go? Where are the nobles? Are you here to rescue us? No. I'm so glad Doug is the one who has to deal with this. Doug is my ideal candidate to awkwardly deal with this. But I use one of my new abilities to do some telepathy. Yeah, it's sense thoughts or read thoughts. I don't know which one I should probably read to give you a direct. Yeah, I'm going to do read thoughts on Meemur, the one talking to me. Okay. Maybe like to know what they actually did to get into those cells. Yeah, you use detect thoughts and reach out and try to scan Meemur's mind. But you don't hear anything or you don't sense anything. It's just totally blank. Oh, like their mind is 100% empty. Does that mean they're not real? I don't know. You've never encountered this before. Normally, whenever you, you know, detect thoughts on someone, you hear something. Okay, well, this is weird. I'm getting kind of heebie-jeebies from you guys. So I'm just going to maybe I'll circle back around and see what I can do to help next time I see you. No, we don't go. We're so hungry. We've been trapped in here for so long. Oh, feed them, Doug. They are hungry. Trying to think like what else I could do to maybe like talk to them or just talk to them or ask them questions. Have a conversation. So I guess you said it was a misunderstanding while you're here, but like what what did you actually do? Why did they bring you down? Why did they arrest you? I'll be honest with you, Doug. You seem like a nice guy. Man. He is. Like I said, it was purely a misunderstanding. Bethesda and I were playing a joke and the crew took it the wrong way. We were playing pranks and we applied some itching powder to the nulls and then we pretended we were judging a null dancing competition. We thought it was hilarious. The crew was very upset. You know, I gotta say that is actually a very funny plank. It is just a prank, bro. Yeah. Exactly. It's just a prank, bro. Could I like do any type of like, I don't know, like an arcana check to see if they're like some type of illusions or something like that. Hmm. Or I don't know. Tell me what make me an arcana and a perception check. No, not a reality. Okay. Arcana is six and a perception is 16. Memor does not appear to be an illusion. It appears that this is a dwarf standing right in front of the name. Okay. But Bethesda. Yeah. Bethesda also appears to be 100% real. Bethesda hasn't said anything. You just been talking to me, Mr. So far. Yeah, that's true. Well, so you say your buddy's name is Bethesda. Bethesda. Is he telling the truth? Is that what you guys did? Just for reference, me, we're Bethesda are both she they're both female Bethesda. You know, she was saying that this is what you guys did to get down here. But is that true? So anything else? So I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna break the fourth wall and medigame with you a bit. The reason I haven't had Bethesda talking is she talks with Italian accent and I hate doing Italian accent. So bear with me here as Bethesda answers you. So excited. So happy. It's a true. Yes. Yes. We don't need to recast that. Let's just use their audio. Yes. Perfect. Idle money lies in your current account picking crumbs out of its belly button wondering, should I eat them? But when you start investing with Monzo, your money's always busy. It turns on regular investments, invests your spare change and tops up your stocks and shares, it even helps you make sense of risk and return. Monzo, the bank that gets your money moving. You could get back less than you invest Monzo current account required UK residents 18 plus T's and C's apply. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson and I'm Taliesin Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors appearing in shows like growing pains in films like Mr. Mom and our podcast, Weird Kids. We're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode, we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit and outcast or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week we'll be releasing previously members only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad free on beacon.tv. I'm trying to see here if there's anything in detect bots where it's like you don't detect certain types of creatures. Barbara, I think we need to know more about Bethesda in their life story and all the adventures that took them to get into this ship. Full conversation, heart to heart with Bethesda for the rest of the episode, right? You know, the beginning of 22 Jump Street when Channing Tatum's doing the Jeff character? My name's Jeff. You don't want to talk at all. Okay, well, I don't know. I don't know if I could trust you guys and I don't want to get in trouble because I don't want to be put in the jail cell. You know, that would be bad for me. And then if I'm trapped and I can't lay to help you guys, you know, so. Oh, but I thought we were friends can toll come down from from the upper deck with Ella and get Gunther joined. Sure. And I just realized I didn't actually read their appearances to you. So like I said, members a dwarf and has a four sided face mask with different expressions on them and is snake hip. What does that mean? Describe me someone with slender and mobile hips often used to suggest a lithe or graceful physique. Okay, okay. That's weird for a dwarf. Yeah. And then Bethesda is also she, her an elf and also wearing a face mask with different expressions on it. And she has blood red hair. Could I also be able to tell if the masks that they have or anything like the one that Elva was wearing? These are a lot more crude. Okay, so it's not the same type of mask. Yeah, this is not what it is. I'm just using this as an example. But like you think about like the drama and comedy masks where it's just like a very vague mask with an expression. It's a lot more like that. We're just like an expression as opposed to like a rubber mission impossible kind of trickery mask. Correct. Gotcha. Okay. And then at this point, I guess we would have 12 and Gunther come down as well. And we assume that caught us up with what has been said. Yeah. So hey guys, quick recap. This is this is Mimo. This is Bethesda. Bethesda has a beautiful voice. So I would highly recommend you talk to them a lot. Oh, and they they pulled this little prank, you know, and it's that's why they're in here and they're asking me to let them go. But I don't know, guys. So you guys want off of this ship? Is that right? You want out of the jail? Oh, yes, we would love to be out of jail. Okay. I mean, if we lent you guys like a rowboat like one of the life boats, they have those on the ship? Yeah. Okay, would that be sufficient? Would you guys be able to get home with that? Oh, yes, that would be wonderful. Okay. Yeah, the way you're talking, Doug, do we trust these fools? I mean, what are you thinking? What's the vibe? It's really hard to tell. Like, I tried to maybe see if they were telling the truth, but I had empty no thoughts kind of situation. I'm not hearing a lot from me, Mer. I'm not hearing a lot from Bethesda. Bethesda, what's your story? Me, Mer and I, we're the sisters. And we play the pranks and we want to leave. Okay. Are you two plumbing sisters? Yeah. Yeah. Can you take your masks off so that we can see you? We could, but they're kind of our thing. Oh, are you guys like part of like, is this like a culture? This is something that you're like tribe wears. So what? I'll tell you what, you three make me wisdom checks. 12, you have advantage on this one. Okay. Gosh, I'm rolling real bad on wisdom. It's seven six. That is a two. And then that is a with my advantage 14. You remember that one of the pirate factions that you saw during the combat like the cage fight kind of deal, we're wearing masks. Okay. And that was the if we could figure it out, it was Council of conservation, the rabble. Oh, are you part of the troop, troop? They both like spit. No. Okay. Don't spit on me. I am your admiral. Okay. Are you part of the science? We're part of the rabble. Oh, the rabble. Okay. After all, make mischief. Am I right? You said you were part of the crew with the rules. If they were mean, why were you on their crew? If you say you're nice. They were easy targets for pranks. So like what is what is the rabble's overall mission? I know you guys want to make mischief, but you certainly have some sort of like, motto or like mission statement. I would like to hear this from Bethesda, by the way, makes a mischief. Oh, do you have anything you could like elaborate more on that, you know, like, what's what do you guys seek? What is your what is your objective? Our objective is to have the fun and to play the pranks and to have a good time. Do you mean us harm in any way? No. Do they seem like they're telling the truth? Make an insight check. Yeah, you guys want to do a vibe check. I'm going to throw a check for that as well. Vibe check hat available in store.sneakydragonpod.com right now. Look at that. I love the plug. 10. I love that hat so much. Got a nine. It's cordroy. It's actually one of our better selling hats. It looks good. It's a fun thing to refer to insight checks as you all think that they're being honest. It seems like they just want to get out of here. Okay. Yes, enroll very well. Did you know we did not know Gunther and Doug? What if we just let them set sail on a ship and then just make them promise not to, uh, you know, mess with us and play their pranks? I don't really think people whose whole motto is to cause mischief are going to not cause mischief. So do we want them here with us? Hold your locked up. I do not wish for them to be locked up. We do not know their crimes. We are not judge jury executioner. Gunther has a point. Very passionate. Love that passion, Gunther. I would say it would probably be better if we left them out to sea to go back to their people. There could be potential allies down the road if we run into the rabble once more. But also we probably don't want them on the island with us if we're trying to complete our mission. Well, smart and wise later, you were all very lucky to have. I think we should all listen to him. Last Gil. Can I see if last Gil recognizes them? Was last Gil part of the rabble? No, but they were locked up with Ditt's crew in the school place. Correct. Last Gil just pokes their head down to the lower deck. No, but if there anything like me, I say let them go. I don't know. I think let's I will remind from a metagame perspective. There's never a wrong decision. I'm going to say that we should probably just go ahead and let them go. Let them be on their way. You know, we have all been held prisoner at some point. I think that they want to leave. Okay, we'll get them a little robot and they'll just head on out. Yeah, Bethesda and Merit Mimmer, we are going to escort you up to the ship deck, give you a rowboat and send you on our way. And you must promise to not make mischief with us today and to give in a good word to the rabble that we were here to help you. Does that sound okay? They both stick out their pinkies through the bars. Inky promising. That means a lot actually, probably. That's sacred. That's good. Okay, I will return my pinkies. Oh, you have cold hands? Yes, I am dead. This is a corpse that I am wearing. I'm actually a robot underneath. Bethesda kind of like cocks her head a little bit and looks at you weirdly. It is a warning. Do not mess with us or we will wear your skin. All right, what do I do? Yeah, yeah, I would say I would find the keys and then Tollv is going to release them and just like keep a keep a good, they're smaller than Tollv, right? One's an elf and one's a halfling. Elfin dwarf. Elfin dwarf. Okay, so since both of them are a little bit smaller, I'm going to keep a good grip on them as in a friendly kind of way, but also in a, I'm not going to let them go out of my sight kind of way and then take them up to their boat. Okay, you look around the area. It's like that common trope. The keys for the cell are just like hanging on the wall out of reach from the cells themselves. And so you're able to grab them and unlock the break. And Gunther will escort as well with his sword. And just because you guys have been so cooperative, I'm going to give you some rations to be on your way. That way you're not trapped at sea and get hungry. Oh, yum, yum, yum. It's so generous. As a parting gift, is there anything you can say about this ship that we may not know to help us? Or if anything about the privateer, for we may encounter him again? Well, I will tell you that the door at the stern is the privateer's quarters and the door at the bow is the crew's quarters. All right, so you lead them up to deck and put them into a, we'll call it a dinghy with some rations and send them on their way. And I would have, I would have launched the ship by smashing a thing of champagne and calling it the wingy dinghy. That's your ship now. They begin rowing the wingy dinghy back towards the shore. Okay, I'm told salutes them as they go. Bye bye. Gunther, it does too. Shall we go and look at the privateer's private quarters? I'm going to hang out upstairs with Elva, but you guys knock yourselves out. Well, I was about to go take a little nap ski, but knowing that the stern is the privateer's quarters, I feel maybe a little bit weird going in now. So maybe I should just go back to where the crew would sleep. You might sleep better with the privateer quarters. All right, so Doug, you're going to the door at the bow. Gunther, you going to the door at the stern? Yeah, I just want to check it because the privateer was like in charge of receipt that also like if there's anything that could help us like maps or gear or anything. Sure. You walk over to the door at the stern and try to open it up, but you find that it is locked. I guess I could see if the keys that tools had work. Yeah, you try those keys, but none of them seem to open up this door. Guess I'll try and pick it. You have these tools? I don't know if I do. I have Smith's tools, so I could just try that or just you could also try to break the door down. And I'm gonna say no Smith's tools are very different than these tools. Yeah, that's not the same. Then yeah, I guess I'll try that. Okay. Yeah. How are you going to try to break the door down? Gunther's not strongest, but I think using he would use more like leverage. So like maybe using the Smith's tools, you know, they have like the things that you hit with. Maybe he's that kind of like almost like a crowbar. What is that called? The thing you hit with? You can make me look it up. The blank and the anvil. The what are they called? A hammer? A hammer. There you go. It's a hammer. Hammer. Chris, what are you doing? I thought there was a special term for it. I thought there was a special term. Motioning hammers. Anyway, yeah, it'll take a few minutes for you to break it down. But yeah, you begin pounding on the door, trying to open it up. While you're doing that, I'm going to cut over to Doug because Doug went to the other door. You get to that door and try to open it and this door is open. Oh, all right. Everything's coming up, Doug. You swing the door open and inside you see cruise quarters with 13 hammocks that are hanging. Could I do a quick just glance around the room, see if there's anything like any trunks or any like objects kind of out in the open. You look around and you see what appeared to be like some personal effects left in some of the hammocks. There are not any trunks per se, but just like scattered about various personal effects that people that know sort of left in their own hammocks. Can I take a look at one of them? Yeah, roll me a d20. Nine. Yeah, you look around and you find a brass sextant. It's like a small one. I think you could fit it in your pocket. Okay, I will do that. It's cool little gadgets. What's a sextant? It's like navigating, right? Looks like a little navigator thing. Yeah, it's like it looks like a metal piece of pizza, but it is not pizza. Do not eat it, okay? Yeah, I'm going to pop that in my pocket. Yeah, you use it to like look at stars and stuff to help you navigate. Yeah, as you pick it up and put it in your pocket, you see that there's a symbol etched into the bottom. Could I take a closer look? Yeah, it appears to be a starry eye. Could I see if this is similar to anything that I have on me, like for example, the spyglass of Zodia? No, it doesn't seem to be quite the same. Okay, have I seen the symbol before? Make me a wisdom check. It's not an 18 and rolled over to seven, but I'm going to use my inspiration die. Okay. Oh my god, a six. Oh no. Wait, wait. Wait, when that happens, I'll just try to throw Captain Grumbles off again. Stop. That is not a gotcha pawn game for how to get an inspiration die. It's a cheat code. Yeah. It's a code. Captain Grumbles will stop in the nose from shooting you anymore when you're about to die in our last combat. So I think a little, little gratitude would be in order to be sure. Despite the low roll, you do know at least that this symbol is associated with a deity of some kind. You just can't remember which one. Okay. I'm going to pocket it. All right. So with it being a brass sextant with a starry eye, one could argue it's a brass eye. So is it we find Sergeant Steel Eyes like long lost family members? Wow. That took that took a few steps to get there. That was no. That was a comedy podcast though. You know, the more explanation you have to do, the funnier it is. That's right. I love a good lead up. I had you going. Oh, well, I think, you know, these, my need comfortable. I think I might just take a little lie down in one of these. Good. Doug find the biggest one and take a little tip. Yeah. Roll me a d 20. Doug, this one is too hot. This one's too cold for you find the biggest one and put your furry head on the pillow. And yeah, it's really comfy. You're sitting about the swaying of the boat just kind of gently rocks you and you can hear the waves lapping up against the side of the ship. It's very comfy. I'm starting to rethink my retirement plan. Can Natty join into those quarters as well? I think that is point Natty would wander in and find a little hammock and curl up with maybe, maybe just blink a little bit of a, of a like a shanty lullaby. Is that a thing? Yeah. You can invent it. Yeah. If you walk down below deck and you see Gunther smashing at a door to stern with a hammer and at the bow, you see an open door and you can hear Doug's sawing some blogs. Okay. I would find a, what are the hammocks? Close to Doug. You need to be far away from him and curl up with Geeky and the hammock together. All right. Yeah. Why don't you roll me a d20 as well, Natty? Two. Okay. Yeah. You know, you find a hammock and lay down and Geeky curls up, but you just can't get comfortable. There's something in the pillow. What's in the pillow, Gus? What's in the pillow? You reach around and stick your hand in the pillow and you pull out a key. It looks like a pretty mundane key, but with a very large head, like very large handle that you would grab onto. Can I just chuck it towards Gunther? Yeah. I say, hey, hey, Gunther. Hands up. And I throw it at him. Gunther, you turned around just the time to see something sparkling flying at you. Is Natty trying to kill you? Gunther tries to grab it. All right. Make a fixerity check. 14? Yeah. You kind of fumble with it a little bit, but because it's got that large head on it, you're able to catch it and grab onto it. Oh, thank you. This will help with the leverage of bringing down the door. And then Gunther goes to like use it to like push the door open and then it's like double takes and then realizes it's a key and then tries it in the door. Yeah. I was hoping you were going to start smashing the door with this gum gum. Maybe. Yeah. The key fits perfectly in the door and turns and clicks and unlocks it. Gunther enters. Also from down the hall you hear. It's Giggie. I don't know what kind of motor is this boat. It's very powerful. I think that's what you would hear is like a dual motor kind of thing of Doug and Giggie boats fighting to see who can make the most disgusting respiratory noises. Gunther, you open the door and inside you see a what you assume is the privateer's quarters and in it is a four poster bed with red velvet curtains. And additionally, you see a few chests around the room, one large chest and three small chests. Can I check for traps on the chest? Which one? The big one or one of the small ones? How did a big one? Okay. Roaming and investigation check. That's a four. No traps. All right. Cool. Gunther goes to try the big chest with the key. He has all the keys at this point, right? Because he has the ones. Yeah. You tried the same big key that opened up the door and it fits and it opens. It unlocks this large chest. What's the side? You're not supposed to use your password for two different places. You're not supposed to use your key for two different things. Yeah. That's security 101. You open it up and inside you see a big pile of gold pieces. Oh my goodness. Booty. Yeah. Metagame wise, it's a thousand gold pieces. Okay. Wow. Gunther shuts it, locks it again with the plan to tell the crew later when Lasgales not around. Yeah. Yeah. Cutting out your party. I see how it is. And then can you check the other chest? Yeah. You walk up to one of the small chests and it is also locked. You need to try all the keys and see if. Yeah. The same big key opens it up as well. You pop it open and inside you see a crescent-shaped crystalline decanter and it's adorned with golden filigree and filled with some kind of water that seems to be like slowly moving. A decanter is like a thing that's a pouring thing, like a pot type thing. Yeah. Sure. And the liquid inside look like normal liquid or magical in nature. Do I get any sense from it? The fact that it's moving in an unusual manner makes you think that there's something special about this. Chug, chug, chug, chug. Can I see what happens if I try and pour a little of the water or the stuff out into the chest? Yeah. You uncork it and pour like a tiny little bit out, but it appears like a gallon of water rushes out and spills onto the floor. Then I cork it back up. Okay. You cork it back up. Does it look like it's still got the same amount of stuff in the decanter? It seems more or less like the same amount. Forever water. Can I taste it and see if it's salt or regular water? Yeah. You take a little sip of it and it appears to be fresh water. Ooh. That'd be great for your village. Then I don't want to open up all the chest, but just me. Should I just see what else want to come? Before anyone answers that, like what do you do with this? Did you say you keep this? Do you put it back in the chest? I'll keep this for now carefully. Yeah. This would be very valuable to Gunther. I think at this point we're all taking longer. So like maybe to kind of progress stuff. Like if we all went sleepy times, I'll leave the other chest for later and go back to sleep. And you said you were going to sleep here in the privateers quarters, right? Down underneath it. Bold moves? Underneath it. That's right. Okay. You go ahead and begin taking your sleepy time as well. So everyone at this point would be taking a long rest, right? Yeah. Yeah. You all begin your long rest, if I recall properly. Gunther under the privateers bed here in the privateers quarters. Doug and Natty in the crew quarters and Toll's up top at the helm in like Century Mode, correct? Yes. And I was the Elva. You and Elva pretty much are the only ones that left on the deck and you know, you're both in power down mode, but you both see and sense like a storm slowly start building. And first it's a little bit of wind, a little bit of rain, the clouds seem to thicken and grow. And before too long, the waves start growing in intensity. Lightning begins lashing and illuminating the sky and thunder rumbling everywhere. And a very strong thunderstorm begins rocking the ship to and fro. Does this wake us? Yeah, I guess even if you're below deck, yeah, it would be like you're not being gently swayed back and forth, but it's a lot more severe to and fro. I feel like because there's this moment of being on a ship and being in the presence of Elva, Polv would feel comfortable taking off parts of his disguise, right? So he would want to remove his mask so that he can like feel the wind and the sea and the rain on his like real Fama Tech face. Sure. But yeah, I mean, I think this is like an old thing. This isn't something that he's unfamiliar with. So him and Elva would, you know, kick into gear and make sure that they're steering the ship accordingly, trying to avoid, you know, high tides and waves and things like that. And it's positioning the sails and the way that's best navigates them through these waves. Batten down the hatches, that kind of thing. Yeah, all the ship terms that we all know. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Make me a, let's call it a constitution check with advantage, Polv. Okay. 16. You're able to use your strength and coordinate with Elva successfully and, you know, pull all the ropes and sail into the waves and secure the ship. I think the rest of your crew would be very nervous if you had not stepped up. It's like a scary situation, but seeing you be so confident and working with Elva like hand in hand makes everyone a little calmer, makes everyone a little more at ease. And as you feel the rain and the wind blowing on your Thamatech skin, you hear Elva call out. And she's pointing. So then I would run downstairs and with my, my real face. And I'd say, oh, hello, everybody, not to wake you all from your slumber, your sleepy sleepies, but we have some visitors up ahead. Does anybody have any sort of, I don't know, magnifying tools, things that we can see them better with? I mean, I have a spyglass, but I don't know if it magnifies. Didn't that what a spyglass does? So this one's special though. Oh, okay. Aren't you thinking of like a, isn't this like that little, is this spyglass? Spyglass does the same thing. It is. Okay. I'll come upstairs and look through my spyglass. Okay. Come with me. Duggit on the case. Uh, told? Correct. That's me. Why'd you ask? You know, you're looking good, buddy. I can't not smile because it's just like a skeleton spelling to almost. Thank you so much, Doug. It feels so good to have my old face back and out. Oh, I bet. Do you guys like it? That's if what you think, good sir. We have this amusement park back where I come from and you look like a pirate on one of them ships that we used to ride that they used to sing little songs as you rode around a little raft. What a compliment. Sweet baby, uh, Giggie, who come to Uncle Toad. Hey, let me see. I got to roll to see how Giggie's gonna react to that. Ten is a bad is a negative. So Giggie shrieks a little bit and backs up and like kind of coils up like an angry cat. Dump there steps forward and like vows like Edmmerville. You look admirable. What does Giggie sound like exactly? Hold on. I want Giggie. Now that I've made the noise, Giggie doesn't just back up. Giggie does full like Bram Stoker Dracula up in the ceiling corner and is like up in the corner like back like Ben Affleck in Batman V Superman. This is good. You've solved the Giggie problem. Can we tie this in the town? Mr Ripley somehow? All right. So does everyone go above deck? Yes. Yeah, except for Giggie apparently. Natty will do a little, a little shushing him down and take him up with him. She wants him to get the full experience of everything. Okay. You all head back up above deck and amidst the gray misty gales and billowing breakers, you see new sales that have suddenly appeared on the hazy horizon. Though the ship is leaks away from you, the cut of its jib brings feelings of warmth and welcome inside. Even stranger is the enchanting music being carried on the whistling wind. The rhythmic stomping and shouting accompanied by stringed instrument. Sounds like a lute. What do you all do to prepare? I mean, could I see anything with my spyglass? You take a look and it's difficult to train on. It's that thing where there's so many waves because of the storm and it's at such a distance. It's hard to keep it steady. Yeah, you're kind of rocking around and it's hard to really get it to focus on this particular small spot. Natty hears the music and feels like a jam session is coming and starts tuning her auto heart. It's mixed tricks and this is not an illusion. Y'all are really nervous. I just been watching you guys around the ship. Y'all are very cautious and nervous. Some of us almost died a few moments ago on this very ship. Natty did too. You know what? Tole would do. In this situation, he would find a piece of cloth, perhaps like maybe down in the quarters and then he would make some like a peaceful flag, some sort of symbol. Well, that's kind of like we give up maybe just like swap out the the pirate I want. Yeah, like I swap out the flag for like a happy face and just let them know we are very friendly and we want to jam. Am I right? Yeah, you begin trying to swap out the flag on your ship. I'm getting jokes from the peanut gallery here. Ben says a flag that really says you who my name is Tole. Micah says a flag that says we cool. You begin swapping the flag out and as you're doing so the shanty singing ship rapidly sails straight towards you all much faster than it should be able to faster and faster cut through the storm of surging soils like a knife through melted butter. And before you know it, the vessel reveals the broad side of its hull. Salty unforgiving waves splash across its faded lettering, the Jebediah. Go ahead and make a reality check. Oh my gosh. I was about to say something about a Luke and I was just like that part. What's reality? I'm glad you asked in a really weird way. You go up the ice cream. Reality check is you roll a d20 and add all of your ability score modifiers. So add your strength modifier, dexterity modifier, constitution, intelligence, wisdom and charisma. 31. 28. Mine is a 19 total. 21. You all had been good at these. Not so much anymore. I'm real bad this session. I think we're all to 13. I would lucky. Sorry, John got like a 30 something. So we're 31 and 28 for me. And just as the ship is about to crash into you, it fades into the wind as if it never existed. Natty, you know that whatever it was you just saw, that wasn't from this world. It's not right. It doesn't belong here. However, the rest of you, it kind of breaks your brain a little bit. It doesn't make sense that that ship appeared, moved so quickly. And then, you know, just as about a broadside, you it disappeared and told it makes you kind of rethink your decisions for metagame wise. The rest of the session, you've decided to turn over a new leaf for a little while and you now hate violence. You don't want to do anything violent. You have a new perspective on life for now. Okay. Wow. Doug, something about that sea shanty and something about the the loop playing just like unlocked a primal fear in you and you don't want to hear music anymore. Music is the most terrifying thing in the world. Gosh. And Gunther seeing that ship come up like that means you think you're going to get into a fight of some kind and there would be bloodshed. And that just kind of turns your stomach. You hate the side of blood. It's scary to you. That was very upsetting. Yeah, these are like temporary status effects for the rest of this session. Okay, can we talk about that for a second? What just happened? Shall we unpack what we just went through? You know, you guys have been noticing any sort of weird situations like that. I had something like that happen when we were on trial back at the camp, whatever we came from. Yeah, camp. I get it camp and camp andres may have four four and there it is. I got it. Ford and rich Ford and rich. I had something like that happen at the pulpit, but whatever that thing inside of the judge for you stood and testified, testified stand something like that kind of appeared and it was there for a second and then it's gone. Yeah, I've had some moments like that too, or things something something felt, I don't know, like familial in a way, but also like I didn't quite know what it was. You think there's something we can do to like, I don't know, I'm just drawing as I'm pulling as strings here, just like, can we like maybe focus or something together have a little like seance or or I don't know. I honestly, I'm just like, it's weird to me out. I'm tired of this stuff happening. I like, I like things being straight and direct and this whole frilly things appear and disappear and it's confusing me. This bother to Natty so much she is deciding to go straight. Like being straight. Like Natty at all. I'm extra more confused now. I would slap you out of it, but I do not like violence. Oh, my God. You said that in a melodic way. Oh, very good. Very good. That was very good. Oh, that was weird. Elva, have you been experiencing anything like this? I'm like, paradigm shifting weirdness that makes you want to poop your pants, even though we do not poop because we're robots. No, I have not. Captain Grumbles, what is your take on this? Actually, no, you know what? I thought about it for a second there and maybe there's something we haven't tried before. Okay. Now, I know I've talked about my deity. She's my boo and aren't we looking for your deity? The Sea Drinker. Yeah. The Sea Drinker also aka Nyorda. Also, that's new information. I don't know if you know that, but her real name is Nyorda. Oh, I did not know that. Yeah, big surprise. My lady friend, she shows up when she wants and so I can't I don't really find it easy to call upon her because she's very busy. I don't know if you guys know this. A lot of people die every day. It really keeps her busy. Really? So Doug or Gunther, is there any sort of like connection you have with any sort of God that we could maybe like ask for guidance or something? I will ask my God for guidance, but it's less so much guidance, but protection from the outside world. I'm not quite sure if I understood that as an answer to my question. So I'll just move it, Doug. I think he's God. Just the God of Never-Nude. It's the God of Clothing. I don't know. I don't know. Doug, is there maybe someone you could like call upon to maybe answer? I don't know. They might not answer. You know, like I said, they're fickle creatures, these gods, but I'm just I'm trying to figure this out. We just had a ship almost come and hit us and then disappeared. I know. I know. I lost going on here. And I don't know if like, you think that was like a sign sent by the Sea Drinker to kind of like push us in the right direction. I'm not like that. Just told no if the Sea Drinker has such power. Make a religion check. That's the thing, right? Yeah, make a religion check. Okay. Not 20. Wow. You know that the Sea Drinker's abilities include things like controlling the sea and controlling water and so many water creatures, but this isn't really fall under any of those umbrellas, you know. Okay. Yeah, it's like adjacent, but not really. Yeah, I do not think that this is the Sea Drinker's doing. They're more like water based crime things, you know, I mean, a crime, but you know, water things. Okay. Well, I mean, all of this is such a great mystery. And Doug very much respects the deity who is said to be the keeper of the mysteries. The veiled eye. Well, hot dang, ask that mystery dude what we could do about this. I just it's such an open ended question, you know, like, well, I mean, I find yes, you are correct, Doug, but maybe this is something where if you could take a moment and maybe just try to call upon that Mr. Person for guidance, they might guide you towards answers to the mystery. I'm not quite sure. Okay, well, I've never done this in front of other people before. So do you want to be alone? Yeah, if you guys maybe just want to like turn around or something. Okay, we turn around. Captain Grumbles does not. He's staring daggers at you. Just dead eyes staring at you. And then Doug closes his eyes and very quietly reaches out to the veiled eye. Veiled eye. Is Doug Boone here again? You know, I know I've asked you a lot of questions in my time of need. And me and my friends were just wondering like, what's what's the next move? Where do we go from here? We see the ship, we have these feelings and we all of a sudden are scared of these things. And I just I don't really we don't really know what to do. And I could really use your guidance right now. As you close your eyes and begin trying to look for this direction, a thought pops into your head. The symbol on the sextant is the same symbol as that of this deity. Of my deity? Yeah. How could I not have seen it? No pun intended. And you hear a voice in your head. For such knowledge, what do you have to offer me? What invention? What creation? What if I were to, you know, help out one of my teammates, make their own more even stronger and protect them more, you know, something new or something that they already have such craftsmanship would bring honor to me, Douglas Boone. In all my yons of eternal existence, these visions are something from beyond even my doing. This is the work of someone, something from beyond this realm. Okay, guys, you can turn around now. Hello. Okay. And then I think I would relay that information to them. Paul says, turn around every now and then. I'm just going to react to that. Never come around. No, no, no. You don't like the music, Oh, right. He just heard screaming. He wants to be polite, but he's blocking his ears and just sweating. Do you have direction? Well, it's just, I basically was told this is not really something from around here, and it's it's kind of beyond our realm. But I think I do want to give back to to my great deity and also give back to one of you. So, Gunn told you think I could borrow your armor for just a little bit? I armor. Yes, of course. Though I also was hoping you could help with my sword. Oh, a little two in one. Yeah, Begus can't be trusers or whatever, you know. You know what, Gunn told anything for you, bud. Where do you Smith? I think I probably have to go back below deck because it's a little windy up here. Yeah, can we go back down deck? Yeah, of course. You all proceed below deck. And so then I take Gunther's sword and his armor from him. Yeah. And I as a hand you sword is like this sword. It is my father's sword. I received it when he was killed. And for you see, he was not a swordsman. He was a farmer, but this has been passed down for many times. Many, many times. We're not fighters in my village, but we once were. Our village was attacked and everyone was killed and something very precious to us was taken. I will find him and I will kill him and return what was taken to my village. And I asked if you can help me make my father's blade stronger. Yes. Thank you for the context. It's very helpful. Back story. Wow. This material was found with one of my people in that in the tunnels, the fragment of frostblat. I believe it can help strengthen my father's blade. It was a long time ago. And I like have that as like a material in which to temper with. Okay. So I'd like infuse them together kind of thing. Is it possible to do that and also to use another slot of my infuse item, which does take some time, but I want to enhance defense on Gunther's armor. Okay. So that would be the creature gains a plus one bonus to armor class while wearing their armor or wield a shield of the infused item. Nice. So I think, yeah, as you're wearing your armor, Gunther, you just get get a plus one tier AC. How long does that last? Is that permanent? It's permanent until Wow. I have two slots. So basically if I do something to another item, I think Tove would lose his hammer infusion that I gave him a few, a few episodes ago. I see. All right. So yeah, you infusing that. So okay, cool. This sounds like you got your work cut out for you, Doug. I'll be hot. It will kill. I hope you're watching up there. You know who you are. Yeah. Paul looks in the air. Gunther wants to help out as best he however he can because he is helped with his proficient with smithing. Yeah. What about Natty? I know you had mentioned something about a downtime thing earlier. Yeah. So I don't mean to interrupt what Doug, you and Gunther be doing, but I actually do have a request for each of you. Like I said, when we were back at the, I'm gonna remember the name of this building that was on the water that we left to get on the ship. It was called a robo robo robo robo robo robo. I was there. I was trying to get last skill, Roarby. Thank you, Micah. I was trying to get last skill to teach Gigi a lesson, but I think we got interrupted. Yeah. Because we teleported to a big old fight we weren't expecting. And so I feel like Gigi is behind on his lessons. He needs to be, he needs to get further towards his, his task of being the harbinger of doom and bring her the apocalypse. It's a very important job and I don't want to be a bad mom. So I've decided that for right now, since we're on the boat, be a good time for each of you maybe to assist with the lesson. If you guys are down with it, I feel like there's something maybe each of you could impart on my Mr. Gigglesworth some time today. Yeah. Maybe we start with Tole and then once Doug and Gunther are wrapped up, they can join in. Yeah. Tole, you down for, for being a teacher for a minute. Cole's head turns 360 degrees with a big metal smile. He says, that sounds great. I love my little nephew. Okay. I've been thinking about things that are important for a little doom bringer to, to have. And Gigi right now in his, in his current age and state, he's quite small, but you can tell he really likes to use his energy. He's kind of like them little dogs. Don't think, don't know that they're as small as they are. And I want to make sure that keeps going. So is there a way that you might be able to teach Gigi because you're so good at using your emotions to your advantage to, to, you know, bring you power or, or defend yourself? Is there maybe like a lesson you could teach Gigi on how to do that as well? It could be something either like a, like an emotional drill or something you do to like use that rage to turn into strength or maybe a story you could tell him or, or like a, a workout routine or something he could do. Is there something like that you can help with? Wow. I full disclosure thought you were going to ask me to teach him like rope tying or like how to sail a boat. But yeah, no, I can rage. You want to talk about rage? That's really fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I pop Gigi down in front of him just and just go, all right. Professor Tole. Just a reminder, professor, before you start your lesson plan, the professor currently hates violence. Yeah. So yeah, I think this is a perfect time for it. Curious to hear how this lesson goes. Well, um, hello, Mr. Gigi. I'm going to be doing attendance for class. Let's go through roll call. Let me see Gigi. Okay. Now that that's wrapped up. So yeah, sometimes I would draw on really sad, but, uh, you know, memories that will make me get into a certain emotional state, you know, that gets me all riled up, gets my blood pumping, you know. But I do it in a way that's like, I take control of those emotions, you know, I, I, I like use those to power me. Okay. So, you know, Gigi, what I want you to do is think of a time where, you know, perhaps, uh, your mom was like in danger and you felt like, you know, something was going to happen to her. Can you do that for me, Gigi? I don't know to see Gigi does that. 16. Gigi thinks about that. Okay. Now before you get out of hand and start, you know, getting like all clawy, bitey, bitey, embrace that emotion, you know, focus around it, tense up all of your muscles, think very hard about it. And then, you know, use that to, to like, uh, take that cool axe of yours. And then, uh, I don't know, do we have any like barrels around here that he could just whack? Sure. Yeah. Get some of that rage out. Yeah, let that rage out. Direct it pinpointed precisely instead of having it explode, explode in every direction, pinpointed exactly on that barrel right there. Okay. The mechanics of this are thusly for me to determine the success of your lesson. Gigi has to make a wisdom check in the description. It determines an easy, a medium, or hard lesson. I'm going to ask the DM, what would you deem this? In my opinion, this is an easy lesson. All right. So it's a DC 10 check. Gigi's wisdom modifier, that is a zero. So all right. 10 or higher to see if Gigi learns his lesson. Come on, Gigi, you can do it. That's a 14. Oh, that's my boy. That's a good lesson. All right. So Gigi's going to attack the barrel. Let's just see how that hand, let's just see how that works out. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Okay. I'm going to roll for an attack. That's a nat 20. Oh my gosh. Nat 20 swings the axe, leaves it into as a happy baby. The pieces would fly off into the ocean team rocket style. Micah wrote use the Nor sluke. Yeah. That's good. It's really good. And so that he gets temporary HP equal to his proficiency for that one, which we don't need to worry about the details of that right now. Okay. I'm going to ask the DM a request. According to this mechanic, I'm only allowed to do this once per short rest. I haven't done this yet. Could you like bend the rules and let me do it maybe a couple more times and just see what happens? Yeah, let's do it. Let's have fun. Okay. We're here to have that's what I figured. I've been wanting to do this, but it's been like episodes and episodes to find some time. All right. I'm going to roll, see what Gigi does after cleaving that thing. He, I rolled a 17. He goes and gives a toll of a huge hug. Oh, I love it. I hug him back. I clip a lock of Bjorn's hair off of my Bjorn mask and wig combo thing. Tie it with a tool to not, and it's like, this is your rage badge. Here you go. You've earned it. Imagine the size difference right now between toll and Gigi. It's like, because toll is huge, right? Yeah. And Gigi's probably just like, like a tiny squeaky thing. He's like hugging a toll's face. Yeah. Natty would come up and fix that, that little knot to Gigi's little harness that he uses. So he has that on his harness now. You've learned to control your emotions and to, instead of letting them control you, I am so proud of you little Gigi. I believe Gigi's proficient modifier should be plus two, by the way. Thank you very much. Or proficiently bonus. I should say. Okay. All right. Can I do another lesson? Is that okay with the group? Before you get to that lesson, we'll say Doug and Gunther have wrapped up what they were doing. I don't know if there's anything you want to do to resolve that between you two before Natty shows up to do this. I think, like, once it's all done, I imagine Gunther's been there with him the whole time. Okay, Gunther, try it on. See if it fits. It does fit. You'll like, give him more hands than before. Oh, that is so nice to say, but I am married. I gotta say also, this almost also really brings out your eye color. Thank you very much, Doug. Oh, and also before we get too far away from it, I want to make sure Gunther adds a plus one to his AC. Oh, thank you. Oh yeah, he was just like, Gunther, pick it up, and then like try it out and like wave it around. Is there something nearby that you could like stab? Is there anything I can stab? You say like supplies down there. You say like there's like a sack of beans or whatever. Yeah, I'll stab a sack of beans. You stab the sack of beans and it seems like as it hits, as it impacts a layer of ice begins spreading across the entire bag, and then manifesting onto the floor and the wall as well. Wow, this infused with ice. Doug, you have done great honor to my father. It's an honor. And I promise if anything I can do to repay you, I will. You got it, Gunther. I will make note of that. Sorry. Doug has told Gunther what happened with his family. Kind of. I haven't gone into detail quite yet. Losing family in my villages was second hardest thing I have had in my life. And Doug, I know that you have had loss with your family. And as you have helped me bring, hopefully, me closer to my family now, I hope to do the same to you in one way or the other. Thank you, Gunther. That means a lot. And I'm sorry that you've had to had so much loss in your life. It never really leaves you, you know. I've had loss, but I have more to live for. So that's why I must hurry in and accomplish what I need to so I can see them again. Whatever helps you. I'll be there for you, buddy. Gunther. Maybe maybe maybe you do so much or twice just for fun. Yeah. My drink's too hard or something like that. Oh, also. Gunther's like, Oh, there's a treasure there. I guess at that point, that would be when Natty walks in with Giggie. Yeah, Natty would see your brand new fandangled blade and be like, this is perfect timing because I have another lesson that I thought, Gunther, you would be perfect for bestowing the wisdom of. Giggie, I know he's going to need to use all the tools available to achieve his greater goal. And it's not going to just be reliant upon his own like animosity and his claws and his teeth. He's already like starting to learn how tools can be something that's helpful. And you're such an accomplished fighter using weapons available with you. I was hoping maybe you give a little lesson on that with Giggie, maybe help him use that axe that he found better or anything else he finds along his way to his advantage. Yes, little one. I am also little. So I understand that people sometimes think you're small, but you can still do big things. But the most important thing of fighting is not to kill or to do damage, but to protect those that you want to not be killed. So with your sword, do not always go to attack, but go to protect. Like show more like defensive moves and like less straight up attacking, but more like how to block and protect and parry and things like that. Sure. We roll. Oh, four. I rolled a four. I'm not sure I'm double checking the math, but I think that's a failure. Failure. I'll read you the thing because, Gus, you might get to help here. Giggie either forgets the lesson, misinterprets it in an amusing way, or something chaotic happens. Gus, do you have an idea of what Giggie does? You know, you're trying to teach Giggie this lesson, but as you're talking his attention slowly because he does that thing where he stops looking at you and he slowly starts turning and he's looking at the bag of frozen beans and he begins just popping them like candy. He's like handfuls of frozen beans into his mouth one after another. He's just like chomping down nonstop on frozen beans. And he just looks at this and goes, isn't he just perfect? He's just so smart. He does that thing where it begins accelerating and instead of like his head gets closer and closer to the beans and eventually it just devolves to where he's not grabbing beans and putting them in his mouth, but his whole head is in the bag and he's just like chomping down on frozen beans. It is also important to stay well fed when fighting. You need calories to burn to fight. When you said that, Gus, I was imagining, have you ever seen dogs do this, but cats do this where they just almost unhinge their mouth and just like pull in the food like that? No chew just in. All right. Well, you know, that didn't go the way we thought, but I feel like he learned something. I think there's a silver lining everywhere. I think the silver lining is we can now sell frozen bean sacks at store. That's sticky. All right. And I turn to Doug. Doug. Yes. I got one more ask. What can I do for you, Nanny? I'm in a helping mood today. Oh, good. I feel like you're doing so good. Let's keep, let's get the ball rolling. So as Gigi gets to the point where he ends all things, I think it's important that he knows about what he's ending because then, because with that comes an understanding of what you're bringing to a close so that you're making room for something else coming about. Okay. I feel like that's important. So is there maybe a history lesson or, or some sort of knowledge that you can bestow upon Gigi that's unique to you? Because I feel like he should take from people what they have to give. Okay. So is there any sort of like lesson like that either from your life or your schooling or your tribe particularly that Gigi can use to kind of grow his knowledge? Absolutely. Like I said, his wisdom modifier is plus zero. Absolutely. So I was thinking, you know, at first I was going to go a little more complicated and say like, oh, maybe I could just teach him how to weed because they probably don't know how to weed yet. You know? Right. Oh. But I think that might take a little time. Because you want to be a gardener in your retirement. We would all text and stuff. But instead, you know, I think there was something that I could teach him. Oh, good. Righty, tidy, lefty, loosey. Oh. This is this thing comes in handy more often than you know. Is that like a chant from your village? Yeah. Well, no, it's my own. It's my own chance that I do for myself whenever I forget. You know, it's righty to tighten something, lefty to loose something. So if he's ever like screwing in something or trying to fix something, it might come in handy one day. Yeah. Could you pair that with another lesson? Could you teach him right and left as well? Yes, absolutely. Does he have fingers? I haven't actually looked at Giggie's hands. I don't know if they're too little like kind of stubborn or just just a normal thing you ask a parent of their child. Does he have fingers? Yeah, does he have fingers? He does. Does your child have? He's got grubby little fingers. Gus, is that easy, medium or hard? This one I would say is medium because I feel like it's two concepts left and right and then lefty loose, C righty, tidy. All right. Let me roll to see how Giggie takes that. That's a 17. Wow. That's good. And with a medium lesson, he gains, oh, I had this more, some more HP stuff, gains an additional hit die to HP. Oh, wow. Yeah. So Giggie like kind of does the little like that dog thing he does. The one sort of the head tilts one way, he'll tits the other ways kind of thinking about to do it. And then he goes right in a circle and he goes left in a circle and he looks at his hands and he realizes there's a direction each of those hands is and he's like he puts his hands up to you and he's he's delighted and he wants you to join him in his in his joy. Doug grabs Giggie's hands and spins in a circle and goes, okay, which way we going now, Giggie? Yes. I like to think that since Doug's hands are so furry and Giggie's hands are so sticky that it's difficult to detach yourself when you're done holding hands and Giggie. Yeah. The hair just kind of like he gets little hairs all over his sticky hands. Yeah. And then when Doug finishes spinning and puts Giggie down, he vomits up all those frozen beans. Oh, perfect. They're defrosted now. We're gonna come out one way or another. I'm sure that'll wake your mom up in the middle of the night. Just. New is ready. Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much. I appreciate y'all joining me for a day of lessons for Giggie. This is something he'll never forget. How often do people get to go to school on a boat? Yeah, I guess not often. Probably more often than you think actually. Like, 12. He probably, I mean, he's probably homeschooled right 12. Yeah, but it was like, you know, instead of mathematics and science, it was like killing and stabbing. But you know, I get that. Yeah, yeah, you're sure. Yeah. At this point, 12 would be back with Elva. Okay. Yeah. But yeah, like, I mean, we've I've been sticking close to Elvis this entire time. But it's funny though, because I told the Nelva did want to speak to Doug, if that's okay, if we could pull Doug to the side. Yeah. I mean, that's up to Doug, I guess. Everyone wants a little bit of Doug today. That's right. Well, it's funny that earlier you said you were like in a helping mood and you want to help everyone. And I feel like, yeah, you've been involved in every journey so far. I think he's also coming out of his shell more and more. That's nice. I like that. So Doug, do you have a second to talk to me in Elva? Of course. Pleasure to officially meet you. You look just like your brother. Oh, thank you. We are cut of the same cloth, if you will. Metal. I forgot for a second I was Elva. I was like, when's Elva gonna reply? I was like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's me. We'll read receipt from Elva. Yeah. So I have been telling Elva about our, you know, adventures and just been catching up with her journeys and reminiscing about our brothers and sisters. And in the process of telling them a story, you know, I realized that, you know, you have little gambot. Can you bring out gambot? Can you summon him? It would be my honor. And Doug conjures up his little gambot who then waddles out. This is not, you know, Elva and I wanting to confront you, but with us having been machines in service to somebody, we just want to make sure that, you know, you take good care of gambot. And by all accounts, it seems like every time I have interacted with gambot, he seems so happy. And he seems like he trusts you. And first of all, I just wanted to thank you for not being cruel to him, because we had a lot of cruelty in our time with Ironclad. I'm really sorry to hear that. Yeah. And, you know, we always, we want to be here for you and for gambot. So if you ever have any questions, or if you ever need, you know, anything from us, we're, we're here because we don't feel like people treat machines very well. Well, you know, I made gambot, you know, a long time ago. And not only do I feel kind of like his papa, because like I made him, but, you know, he's always been very dedicated to helping me and just, you know, I know he seems happy. And maybe that's in part to the fact that I built him with a smile on his face. Yeah, that's there. Yeah. Well, you know, he's a, you know, he's still a soul. And so I'm glad that you think that I treat him like, because I really do try. Well, we were both commenting on just the fact that he seems so well maintained, and you take care of like polishing him and like buffing out dense and doing maintenance and everything is done with great care. So I just wanted to thank you that it's very healing for Elva and I to see such care taken for a machine. Well, that's very touching. Thank you, Tov. If you guys ever need a tune up, you know, I've been, I've got all my tools with me. So if you guys ever need anything. Well, I guess that is, you know, my next thing is once we find a suitable replacement for Elva's leg, we would love for you to help bring her back to the working order. I could definitely figure that one out. You got it. That's it. I'm just going to hang out with Elva and catch up. You can go away now. Can we hang out with Gambot though? He's just so silly and so fun and cute. And Doug looks over to Gambot and he does a little and like up and down. Yeah, just send him back over when you're done. Okay, will do. That's all I want to do. Playing fetch with him like a dog. You know, brother, talking about this technology and a suitable time and place to perform maintenance on us. I have heard a rumor while looking for the seed drinker that could perhaps be of help to us. Oh, yeah. My ears are open. Even though I do not have ears, they're more like, you know, audio receptors, but they are tuned in and listening. Well, my audio transmitters are about to engage. So let us meet legends tell of an island that has advanced technology that have been lost to time that could perhaps help us. Interesting. That sounds so cool. What I mean, do you think any of our brothers and sisters have perhaps found this place? Maybe, maybe the seed drinker can let us know if that is the case or not. Gambot, what's your thoughts on that? Count to me and Gambot and we need to find this eternal whirlpool. Those are all his little like spring loaded balances and stuff like that. And can this whirlpool clean delegates as well as like get out of here. Doug and Tove, I want both of you to make me wisdom check both of you with advantage. Okay. Oh man, with advantage, I got an 11. My wisdom is pretty good. I've just been rolling wisdom badly today. 18. I think it's funny that Tove's wisdom is the same as Giggies. Really funny to me. Tove, having this conversation here about repairing and about, you know, trying to fix Elvis leg, it reminds you of something. You all have a metallic leg. That's what I thought. Did we take that from that cave? Yeah, we did. We did. The Chromatech thing? Yeah, you all kept it. I forget who has it. It's Tove. I think Tove has it. Okay. I just didn't want to step on the moment. Do we mind if I rewind a little bit to that thing to that moment? Or you just pretend like you're like, oh, wait, look at this. You can like pick it up, like talk about like, oh, maybe, you know, yeah, yeah, go ahead, pick it up however you like. You know, now that we've discussed gambas, you know, Doug, I was thinking you are so good with machines. Clearly look at happy little gambas. Beep, boop, beep, boop. We have this Thomatech leg from those caves. I don't know if you recall, but we know, would you be able to put this on Elva? Absolutely. I almost forgot we had that. Me too. Almost. I guess we'll do it right here. You don't need any privacy for this, do you Elva? Oh, no, it's okay. Snap that baby on. Doug grabs the leg from Tove. I see an Elva would like sit down. Yeah. Doug takes out one of his little magnifying glasses to make sure he's getting all the proper slots in, ready, tidy, left, elucian, all the screws or whatever that would be in there. Yeah, it's advanced technology, not like anything you're directly familiar with, but you know, you have a very tinkering background. You're able to figure it out and get Elva's leg reattached. My goodness. Cool. It's like a glove. Congratulations. You can do the hokey pokey once again. Oh, yeah, just like old times. Here we go, brother. Put your left foot in. You put your left foot out. You put your left foot in. Shake it all about. Oh, this is what we used to do between battles and all the murder sprees. So much joy. Like smash cut to Doug just sweating. Yes, I'm so glad that these family moments are happening and they're reuniting and I'm in fight for the pain. Giggie would absolutely join in on because he just learned what his left and right is. Oh, yeah. Toll, something catched your eye over Gunther's shoulder. Another sail off in the distance, closing quickly on your position on your boat. Sail ho, up ahead. Look at that big boat. Hopefully this isn't a ghost ship that will make me poop my pants from fear. It doesn't appear to be a ghost ship, but you may still poop your pants from fear because you recognize this ship, Toll. No. It is a long ship with a rusty armor plate at hull, a pointed bow and stern and a flag of a heart half made of metal. And it's being pulled through the water by an armored giant shark. The side of the ship reads Dairdroast in the common tongue death rust. But you know it as Ironclad ship. This is like the most inconvenient thing ever. Wow. This guy is such a bummer. I mean, you're looking for your other siblings. So, hey, everybody, we're about to have a family reunion. Oh, that sounds great. The ship draws closer and you can hear Ironclad hailing you all. Toll, Elva, I'm glad to see you reunited. Join me on my quest. What's your quest? Thank you for asking. My quest is to find and reunite all my children and find the islands of Nonimo, and of course, the sea drinker before anyone else. For good reasons? Well, of course. I turned to Elva and I said, I think we should prepare for battle. Oh, no, we just got our health back. Will you be able to do battle, brother, in your current state? Gosh dang it, you're so right. No one's saying during this fight. Please. Perhaps we should answer him. I will hear what you have to say, Ironclad, but do not think this makes us friends, okay? Oh, you see, with my children reunited and the hidden islands found, we can find the secrets to eternity. Oh, God. I guess I kind of like the Ironclad's in another ship, so I would be like whispering to everybody and kind of like walking amongst them passing by them. And I say, everybody just play along, but whatever you do, do not trust Ironclad. Okay, Ironclad, we're about to come aboard. I'll help you come closer. And with that, the ballista fires a giant harpoon at your ship. And right before it impacts, the harpoons split apart into several different harpoons that all impact your ship. And like a giant winch, the ballista begins pulling you all closer to his ship. Dude, I said I was coming aboard. You did not need to damage our ship. What the heck? I'm just trying to help. Oh, that's pretty cool, though. That is not help. That's not help. That's like you poke so many holes into the ship. That is the point of the ship is to not have some holes. You call that a ship? That's just a glorified dinghy. Oh my God, this guy sucks so bad. You don't even know, gang. All four of you make me a, what do we call it? Perception checks. Five, 12, 11, eight. As your ship is drawn closer to Ironclad's ship, like a bunch of little trolling's jump over onto your ship. Like hulky, warty little humanoids. And they begin holding out their hands to take your weapons. What if I don't hand this over? I mean, I don't have a weapon to give you, but you can try and take my child's weapon. I'm not going to assist with that. Hand over the weapons, or you will get hurt. You take the weapons and you will get hurt. No, you get hurt. No, you get hurt. No, you get hurt. Okay, what if we meet in the middle and we do not give you our weapons but promise not to totally stab you to death like we really, really want to. Yeah, thank you promise. Yeah. No, give us your weapons and we won't stab you to death. Well, these are like the first crew members ever. You replaced a bunch of cool robots with little troll people. Lame, boo. Trollings. Oh, oh, my bad. Wow. Could I use my telepathic utterance on these guys? Sure. What are you going to do? And just say, we don't have to give you our weapons. Just let us aboard. Oh, you can influence them like that? I just like, oh, I'd like to think like they hear it in their head. So they're kind of convinced that it's like, do it, do it, do it like an intimidating way. How about that? I'll do it like ironclad. Okay. Oh, make me a deception check. I have a negative one to deception. 11. Okay, they start looking around at each other. You say that. You say that. I think your captain ironclad said that. I'm pretty sure I heard him say that. Yeah. No, he didn't say that. It didn't sound like him at all. Anyway, it gives the weapons. They wheel their javelins at you. They like shake them at you. I think we might have to listen to him gang. Okay, I'm going to say this as your admiral, I think we, you know what? How many trolling's are there? Let's say there are six. That's not a lot. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and smash one with my vorhammer. You know, I'm so sorry, but as the admiral, this guy super sucks. And we currently outnumber his trolling's. Get ready for a fight game because this is not going to happen. Yeah, they're not expecting it. You know, they think you're going to hand over weapons. So go ahead and make a tech roll. Okay. First, I'm going to enter a rage though. And then I'm going to use my first. Since you are currently hate violence, you have disadvantage on the attack. Oh my God, I forgot. I was, I was waiting for that. Well, that's a nat 20. Okay, you'll be able to do it. I believe in you. So not that. And a. Interesting. A critical fail. Oh my God. You got a final one. What if you did it in a non violent way? Swing the hammer down, but you telegraph the move so much that the the trolling who's standing there is able to hop out of the way and they all start chanting it with each other. Kill them, kill them, kill them. Giggie chance along. As they begin preparing their javelins to attack you off, you see the seas beneath you begins slowly bubbling and swirling. And very quickly, they begin building an intensity and a massive swirling whirlpool emerges from amongst the waves. It begins pulling you in like a violent vortex and swallowing both ships down into the never ending void below. Oh, anyway, thanks for listening to our podcast. Everyone, everyone's dead. Oh, no. I was going to say, Natty holds on to the edge of the boat. Doug raises himself. Find out what happens if there is anything at the bottom of the whirlpool. What's going to happen with these little trolling and with ironclad in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. So much lore. We were having such a nice moment on the ship and then he had to ruin it all. Typical ironclad. Typical ironclad. Ironclad. Ironclad. Hey, you, did you know we have a store? That's right. If you want Stinky Dragon merchandise, you can head over to store.stinkydragonpod.com for all your stinky merch needs, including things like infinite legends merch, Prestidigitation spelling t-shirt. Love that one. We love all of them. Council of barbarians t-shirt and more. Go check it out. Anything you purchase there directly supports us and helps us keep making the show. So go visit store.stinkydragonpod.com. It can be your good deed for the day. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday or every stream podcast and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or become a member of Beacon at beacon.tv. Become a patron. You get access to even more exclusive bonus content, Stinky Dragon community and discord events and you can get your name shouted out. Just like without a trace. Last unicorn. Nicknack 8-5-9-5. Swedish Devin, not to be confused with any other Devin. An ancient Tory. These patrons directs support the show and get ad free episodes, access to our Patreon only discord server bonus content like second win, and behind the screen and much more. Hey, here's a quick peek from last episode of second wind. This is very much like the leg conversation. Missing legs have been a thing that's been from the beginning or finding legs and that kind of thing. I guess what I'm asking for is like, was I the crazy person or are they the crazy person? Here's what happened. There's levels of like knowledge that happen and kind of trickle out through this podcast. Yeah. There's me writing it down. There's me later on when I remember, oh, I wrote that down. And then there's also Gus reading it later and be like, yeah, Michael wrote that. Do I know what, do I have the same context and perspective? Yeah, context and all that. The secret, the stinky dragon is that this is just one really complicated game of all the way until it gets to our, the, the, the, the players notebook. That's the like the last bit of information of like the telephone. I want to clarify for our audience, just to bluntly say it, the metal leg that they have is Elvis leg. Correct. I just want, I just, we've been talking around it, but I want to be bluntly said, because here's the thing, I understood in the moment what it was, but then you guys, someone, Blaine, I think, confused it. Not me, not me. And then that confused me and then I didn't know. And then I think since that moment listening to the episode, I've been confused. That's why I just need to know. You feel gaslit. Whose leg are they holding onto? It's one thing when like someone is gaslighting you on purpose. It's another thing when you start gaslighting yourself. Again, that's stinkydruginpod.com. We cannot thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Listeners who interacted with us on the Stingy Dragon Discord had NPCs named after him this episode, like the privateer named after pitfam3, voiced by Bernie Burns at Bernie from rcpt slash morning somewhere. I know that guy. Elvis voiced by Charlotte Avery at moms underscore home underscore. I know her. Lousy Lasky, only after Alex B. 007, voiced by Chad James. I know him too. At Chad James RT from death battle. Yarl ironclad voiced by Adam Ellis at adam.e.ls. You're not going to believe this. I know him too. Mimmer named after Mia Kimball, voiced by Lindsay Washburn at the Linsbot spoiler. Know her. The Veiled Eye voiced by Andre Ouellette at Andre Crot. I know him. That's amazing. I know so many people. This week's arrow question submitted by Faye Bird. This episode of Tales from the Stingy Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, Britain editing composer, Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnult and David Sonye and all those people. Cue the next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stingy Dragon and find out what else I know. Bravoissimo. Our heroes are finally starting to recall their destiny. The notes are all there, ready for them to play their part, but they still need help hearing the overture. I think it's time to shelf subtlety in favor of something more fortissimo. Perhaps a vis-a-vis, but how to break past the wall between us. Wait, that's it!