Bonus Episode: A Smorgasbord of Gossip with Nadira Goffe

Hello, my beautiful little gossip birds. Before we start today's show, I want to shout out another member of the Radiotopia family, Radio Diaries. For almost three whole decades, Radio Diaries has been helping people document their own lives and histories. And now they're back with a new series called Orson Welles and the Blind Soldier about a small town crime that sparked the desegregation of the U.S. military. In 1946, a black World War II veteran named Isaac Woodard was blinded by a white police officer. Nobody knew who the officer was or where the attack happened, but when famed director Orson Welles found out about the attack, he pledged to not only broadcast it, but solve it on the radio week by week. Wash your hands, Officer X. Wash them well. Scrub and scour. You won't blot out the blood of a blinded war veteran. You're going to be uncovered. We will blast out your name, and I will find means to remove from you all refuge, Officer X. You can't get rid of me. This series is a riveting true crime investigation told by descendants, activists, and the last known witness to the attack. Listen to Orson Welles and the Blind Soldier out now wherever you get your podcasts or at radiotopia.fm. Hello and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and in each episode of this podcast, we are going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Hello, y'all. I know this is a bit of a surprise. I know we said we wouldn't be back until summer, and that is technically true. We will not be back with a full, regular gossip story until the summer. We are working on our production calendar right now for season 10 all-stars and I am so excited for y'all to hear. But in the meantime, I did feel just a tiny bit guilty for not being able to do that finale episode of season 9 even though y'all have been so kind and lovely in the response to that finale episode. It has truly been one of the most humbling experiences of my life to be supported in this way. I can't even think about it too much or else I'll cry. So I can't say how much I appreciate that. So I'm going to stop talking about that. What I'm not going to stop talking about is this very exciting little bonus episode that we have for you guys. If you are a subscriber to the show at the friend or friend of a friend level, you've already heard this. Most of y'all are not, though you can if you want to get the early goss. This is one of our subscriber episodes with one of my all-time favorite guests, Nadira Gough, where we react to some gossip morsels that neither one of us had heard before the recording. Um, that maybe explains the unhinged quality of this episode. I really hope you guys enjoy. I am beyond excited to welcome Nadira Gough back to the show. You might remember her from season eight, A Devilish Horde of Pestilence, one of the best episodes that we have ever published. Nadira, hello. Welcome back. Thank you for joining me. Hi. Thanks for having me. Can I share a small piece of gossip? Yes. Which is nothing other than a horrendous thing that happened on the subway this morning on my way into the office. I was sitting there minding my business on a morning where like nothing goes right, you know, the way some mornings are. And there was a man across from me who was eating a pear on the subway. But he this was the first this was the red flag at first. He took off the sticker and he threw the sticker on the ground. Not littering. He took off this. Yes. Then he took off the stem and he threw the stem on the ground. Not littering times two. And then he proceeded to eat this pear in the most horrendous fashion where he would like take pieces of skin that were like falling off as he was eating it and throw them on the ground. And then he proceeded to throw the core of the pear on the ground. And I thought it was over. But it turns out he had two pears. No! and he ate the second pear that way and then he was like in a rush to get to where he was going he left all the pear carcass on the ground and his water bottle his full essentia water bottle and i was traumatized and that's my gossip for you this morning wait wait wait so were you on the subway platform were you already on the train when this happened no we were on the train that's even on the train okay sometimes i'm sure you've had this experience where you get onto a train car and you see a pile of garbage and you're like, where did that come from? What kind of person would do that? And now you have informed me what kind of person would do that. And I don't know if it's worse to encounter the pile of trash without the person who made it or seeing the pile of trash being made. I think they're equally bad because one is without context, right? That's scary. I don't know where that came from. But then once you have the context, you're like, that's scary. Now I know where that came from. And I don't like either of them. Is ignorance bliss? Maybe. well sometimes sometimes oh also why are you throwing the skin away i don't understand because that's where all the fiber is literally i was gonna say that's where the fiber is and i say this as someone who loves pears pears are my favorite fruit or one of my favorite fruits and it just felt so wrong to see them done so dirty like that but when he pulled out the second my face oh god i wish someone was videotaping me the face that i made i'm sure when he pulled out that second pair was probably very transparent it was the plot twist of the century two pair i thought we were done i thought we were done with the carnage this sequel that no one asked for um thank you for that gossip i will now be looking at every pile of trash that i encounter on the subway with even more disdain and deep sorrow than i was beforehand so you're welcome after the gift that i gave you on our last episode where i traumatized you with roaches i only feel like you thank you for giving it back to me i appreciate that this is an equal exchange of information i do and you're right okay are you ready for some other gossip i am some hopefully uh more hinged gossip i can't promise that right roll the tapes when i was younger i worked at a very chic coffee shop in a trendy neighborhood it was very expensive and just quintessential 2015 hipster vibes with the exception of the two beautiful greek daddy brothers that own the place i worked with mostly women which honestly i loved after a couple of months of me working there they hired a new barista he was very cute and i immediately had a feeling that this would not end well we flirted with each other a lot but we tried to keep it low-key due to how strict the owners were about running the shop. One night I came in for a closing shift and I noticed it would just be the barista and I working together. We spent the shift cracking jokes, making eyes at each other, you know, as you do. And after a busy night, the shift was finally over. So I locked the front door and we were alone at last. I started doing the typical closing duties, which included things like sweeping, mopping, storing leftover food and cleaning the bathroom. I grabbed the supplies and went to get started on the bathroom. But when I turned around, the barista was standing in the doorway. He walks into the bathroom with me, closes the door, and immediately pins me against the wall. We proceed to make out for the next 30 minutes or so, but we eventually pull ourselves together and finish our closing duties. I left that night hoping things would progress even further in the future. I mean, preferably not at work, but I was feeling optimistic nonetheless. The next day I wake up with a new glow as I head off to work with a bounce on my staff, listening to music, you know, all the things you do when you have a new crush. but when I walk in the door I can already feel a heaviness in the room. One of the extremely hot owners pulls me aside and tells me to meet him out back. When I walk outside I notice the barista is standing there looking very nervous. The gorgeous Greek daddy joins us and begins to question us about the night before. Now I assume he's going to question us about the bathroom rendezvous but he never does. He tells us to go home for the day and come back at 7 which felt very ominous. We both arrive around the same time looking like lambs being led to the slaughterhouse. The door to the back storage building flies open and one of the brothers tells the barista to follow him. He's in there for around an hour until finally the door opens and the barista runs off with tears in his eyes. The unbelievably sexy man tells me I'm next. When we enter the storage shed, it is completely dark with the exception of one light illuminating a chair that sits under it. One of the daddies pushes me forward and asks me to sit. Now, I'm not going to lie. I was way more turned on than I probably should have been. But they proceeded to question me like a murder suspect for the next 30 minutes. Part of me wanted to say, like, God, we just made out. Can y'all chill? But before I could say another word, one of the owners walks to the light and throws an iPad on my lap. It's very familiar to me because it's the one we use as a register. After giving it a closer look, I notice the screen is covered in cracks. He tells me that the barista has no idea what happened and he's hoping I can shed some light on the situation. I sit in my thoughts for a moment before insisting that I have no idea how this happened, and I beg them to believe me. After another 30 minutes, I finally leave the dark shed feeling exhausted, but also disappointed that I didn't get to Eiffel Tower with the Greek brothers. The next morning, I called into the office. The brothers are both sitting there looking, fine as always, as they sit me down and tell me they believe my story, and they've decided to fire the barista. I am so excited to hear this and so thankful that I get to keep my job and get to lust over these beautiful men a little longer. I continue my shift and everything goes back to normal. The following months pass and things feel better than ever. But even in the joy of seeing the daddy brothers every day, I still found myself feeling awful about the barista being fired. Especially since I'm the one that cracked the iPad. I knew it. Thank you so much for listening to my gossip. And please don't hate me. I'm so sorry to my producers for having to listen to me scream. I. Oh, my God. What a story. Can we just. Let's start. Let's start with A. An incredible storyteller. Incredible storytelling. Be incredible, boys. Very soothing. I was locked the fuck in from me. No, literally. Do you want to host normal gossip? Have our jobs. I don't. That was, oh my God. The Greek daddy brothers. The bathroom rendezvous. This is like a Wattpad story that I never. Literally. The reveal at the end. The fact that everyone was hot all the time. And also DTF all the time. No, it's really giving the samurai turned pretty. But rated R. Yes, yes, it is. Oh my God. God, this was beautiful gossip. Can we talk about, can we rewind for a second? Yes, we can. And talk about, like, yes, everyone is hot and this was really engaging and lovely. But those Greek zaddy brothers were definitely, like, in the Greek mafia, right? Like, there's no way. Because how do you, why do you have an interrogation shed? In your coffee shop. Why does your coffee shop have an interrogation shed? That is such a good point. There's a Greek mafia? No. Well, if there is, they're in it. I don't know. I was like, I didn't know the Greeks were doing it like that. Every culture has their own form of organized crime. And you know what? You're probably right. You're definitely right. They definitely have their own Yakuza. Like, that's my bad for not knowing. No, these Greek daddy brothers were definitely part of the Greek Yakuza. Because, yeah, the single chair under a light bulb in a shed is. Like, either that or they've watched too many fucking movies. That's a torture tactic. What is this, James Bond? You're running a coffee shop, not a crime ring. I also thought it was so funny. I thought that there was going to be an added reveal of like the iPad was cracked, but money was stolen or something. And it turns out that it was just a cracked iPad. And I'm like, well, a three-year-old could have done that. No, exactly. That's what happens when your point of sale system is glass. Right, right. Anyone could have broken an iPad. It just falls off the counter. You're working with liquids all day. that feels like a very normal thing to happen. You should have insured your iPad, Greek daddy brothers. That's your own fucking fault. I really sad that this anonymous caller in did Yeah we bringing that back didn uh get a chance to have his sexual fantasy with the greek zaddy brothers i hoping that the next voice memo quite frankly because i when i heard we were walking into a dark room with one chair and a single light bulb i heard time to perform for your life time to lip sync for your life baby also the like sheer rush the wattpad fanfic rush of we were alone after closing this coffee shop and he was in the doorway and then he pinned me up against the wall i was like oh oh oh oh wow it's not even 5 p.m what's happening exactly same i was just like this is exactly what i thought working in a coffee shop would be like i had a long-held dream as a child yes to work in a coffee shop and i never have and now as an adult i now just think everyone who works at a coffee shop is stronger than the marines especially because i say my order wrong every single time and i'm always like i'm so sorry i get the same thing every single time i don't know why i'm like this and i'm just i'm the lesser end of the customer spectrum it gets worse than that and baristas are canonically hot like I've always had a fantasy of um having a little romance with a barista Nadira let me tell you the guy who owns the coffee shop near me I'm pretty sure is a Italian B wears a little gold chain and C is so hot salt pepper I he compliments in my glasses and I was like so you love me you love me this is tea because for those who don't know we live like a less than 25 minute walk from each other and we will not be saying in what neighborhood for privacy for obvious reasons yes um and so therefore i'm i i can find i can you can't and you should go and why do you think i'm giving this information and you know what so you want to get coffee sometime next i would love to Okay, on to the next. I hope it brings me just as much joy. I have a really good friend. His name is ******. And he and I absolutely love to look at Nextdoor and screenshot people going crazy about, like, the usual dog poop and fireworks. Like, that's the big two. and we've tried to figure out ways we could like have a fake next door account, which is kind of hard to do and like shit post and troll. But we just kind of make ourselves happy by just partaking and commenting in the background because we love that stuff. And I also love revenge. It is our favorite thing to do. And when we go camping with our families, usually everybody is like doing camping stuff and we're sitting off to the side plotting revenge plots against people who have, we have perceived to have wronged us. And, you know, it's always like good spirited, but the plots are always like Baroque. *** lives in my neighborhood. And one day I'm walking my dog with my girlfriend and her dog and her dog poops. She bags it up and is carrying it. And I was like, oh, hey, there's this place. Why don't we just drop it off in his garbage can? He won't care. So we go up to his place. And then I was like, oh, wait, I can do even better. And he had a brand new Tesla. And so I grabbed the bag of bagged dog poop and put it on the hood of his Tesla. And I was actually thinking, I'll circle back around and grab it. Or I need to text him and tell him that it was me. And we go for our walk. and I completely forget that this happens. So later on, I'm on next door and I see that he has posted. And I think I could probably find the post because I screenshotted it, but it was literally something along the lines of, to whomever placed dog feces on the hood of my Tesla. Do you have something against me in particular, or is it just Teslas? We are adults here, and if you have any grievances, maybe you can talk to me instead of throwing poop, and I will have you know that I have recalibrated my security cameras and Tesla camera, so I will catch you. And then that whole thing just blows up. And I am reading with like horror because everyone's just like, oh my God, what is wrong with this world that we live in now? People are just horrible and like, yeah, he's just going full next door. And I'm like, oh shit. and so i let it go on for a while and then i screenshot it and i sent the screenshot to him and i go it was me way to go next door exclamation point and he just texts me back you fucker okay um i feel like uh we have multiple places to start but before we actually get into the voice demo I must say that when Nadira heard We Love Revenge she thought it was referring to the television show which means that I must say that I have seen the first season of Revenge at least three times but I have never continued past it that show is batshit crazy I love every single part of it I love it so much they don't make network television like they used to at all, whoa, at all And you know what? Someone call us up. We've got ideas. We've got thoughts. We've got feelings. The way I watched that show and thought, I could write this. All we need is a crazy plot line and a black wig. Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Down to this actual story. Yes. Not to be, I hate to reduce most things to this. No, there's a racial divide. Yes. that I felt listening to this because that is just something putting poop on your friend's car is just something that not all communities would do yeah or think it's funny no I would have thought I had been hate crimed quite exactly exactly which I do I want to say I appreciate hearing about the freedom that other communities have in their pranks because I'm like that sounds so lovely to be able to do whatever you want and not be worried that it's a hate crime um also the next door of it all is very I would say of a specific community this is yes no shade no tea quite frankly like next door I have downloaded exactly once because I kept seeing these dogs in my backyard that had no collars and I was like these are huskies these are very clearly expensive dogs whose fucking dogs are these it's raining bring them inside it's brooklyn like what the hell is going on and i had it on my phone for maybe four hours and i immediately was like bad vibes horrendous vibes what's going on here they keep trying to get me to join with their little emails like a cult and i'm like no no no you shall not get me you won't be getting you shall not get me you won't be getting you but i do love the idea of a friendship being for and based on screenshotting other people's next door posts and talking shit about them that is pretty fucking funny to me because i would love to know which of my neighbors are um cuckoo bananas and in new york it's so hard to figure that out and i feel like having next door would really in a neighborhood where i could see where everyone's houses was and like every building didn't house like conservatively 24 people it would be so nice to be like that person over there she is really fucking angry about recycling i want to know that that's community yes and it's fun and it's gossip quote unquote um i also love any friendship that's based off of just like people watching or yeah the sort of fantasy revenge plot yes i was honestly a little crestfallen when the caller in mentioned their girlfriend because i was hoping as the hopeless romantic that I am. But I'd be like, oh my god, you're going camping with your friend all the time and you're coming up with these fake scenarios about all these other people. Maybe you're in love. No, you're not. You're just friends who like to give each other shit. And you know what? That's so fun. Listen, romance can be platonic. And it is, but I was hoping for the romantic kind of romance. And that's real. And that's real. Listen, life is long. We never know what's going to happen. And you know what? You're so right. And this is how delusional people stay delusional because their friends don't hold them accountable and instead put fire to their fantasies. It's called leaving room for the vague areas of life. You know, no one ever knows what's going to happen. Life is long. I say it all the time. I love the idea that this friend has sort of like radicalized their friend into becoming one of the Nextdoor people that they laugh about all the time. I do. Yeah, they really did. Is he going to continue posting on Nextdoor now? like did he update the next door people on what happened or did he just let them spin out that's so funny i do yeah i want an addendum to this story i also think it's hilarious that he was like um do you hate teslas and elon musk or do you hate me he's like one of those is acceptable the other one because i would be the same i would be like do you hate my car or do you hate me please don't hate me i'm just a little guy like what did i do wrong i'm just a girl yeah no it's so true i would not that is really funny he's like come talk to me directly if you have issues with me otherwise let's be adults about this i also love the game of thrones like tell cersei i want her to know it was me ending that was fun that was fun that was really great i really appreciated that she let him go through all of that and then was like hello i did it wow beautiful self-gossip um i love neighborhood drama i'm never gonna look at a bag of dog poop the same no never though it's i don't look at them often but but yeah exactly i will Never look at them the same again is correct. Next. So I used to work in broadcast commercials and we had like a ton of interns coming in and out. I started as an intern and then there's this like promise of moving up to the shipping department and then the apprentice department and then becoming an assistant editor. And it would take years and it was and everybody worked all night all the time. And there was like beer on tap in the office. so we were drinking together all the time and going out and it just was like a very um gross company culture where everyone was sleeping together very very prone to gossip of course um and we one year got an intern and she was fine she was like a little snooty about having to like do the intern duties which included like taking out the trash sometimes or like cleaning the kitchen. Uh, we were all just like, girl, you have to do this. Sorry. Like we did it. I did it. I'm training you how to do it. Get over it. Um, but whatever, relatively uneventful internship. She, her internship ends and she gets hired. We hear at, um, one of our vendors. So when we finish editing a commercial, it would go to the color people who are, you know, it's a whole other company. Um, and they would color correct the, the, the commercial. So she gets hired there as a receptionist and the boss there who we know, because we're there all the time is like, Oh, we're so excited to have she, uh, you know, her resume had you guys on it and that's why we hired her. And like, she's great. We love her. We were like, Oh, so cool. So cool. And then like rumblings start kind of going around our company, when you get to go to like a color session, it was like really exciting. And it was like kind of like a sign of like moving up because you're like responsible and you can like be the face of the company. And you got to have lunch with the clients and just like sit there all day. It was great. So it was always very exciting when you got to go And then people will come back and you be like how was the caller session And they be like uh good but like didn say hi to me Like how rude And then someone else being like oh I was there yesterday and she was so nice to me She remembered me and she said hi and blah, blah, blah. And then I remember finally going and seeing this woman behind the receptionist desk. And I was like, that's not. Turns out has a twin sister. No joke. and apparently got the job and didn't want it. And her sister wanted to break into the business, but had no experience. The way we found this out was because during one of these like crazy industry parties that that color company was throwing, we were talking to the boss who loved so much. And we were like, we noticed that she was gone. She hadn't been there in a while. And we were like, Oh, so how's it going with? And he was like, Oh, don't even get me started. and we were like oh shit did you figure it out and he was like what do you mean did we figure it out did you guys know this whole time we were like no no no we just we we we figured it out like last week and we weren't sure and whatever but then his story was that she had left her facebook page open and other co-workers like saw it and reported her basically and then he called her into a conference room and was like tell me what your name is and her response was my real name uh they didn't press charges but they did fire her and the really sad thing is that her boss was like she was the best receptionist that we've ever had okay okay i know that allegedly crimes were done here but i must say i am on the side of the twin sisters here i think they were right pause every if you have a twin these are the types of shenanigans you need to be doing everyone who has a twin an identical twin and hasn't pulled like a sweet life of zach and cody ass heist or crime or con like this get to the back this is not this is you're wasting your god-given opportunity okay This is the only justification for adult identical twins because otherwise, I'm not going to lie, they kind of freak me out. They kind of freak me out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Whenever I see an adult identical twin, I'm like, that's against nature. The hijinks. The hijinks. The shenanigans. There were two of me? Oh, oh, baby. I'm so twin. I'm so twin down. Like, I'm so, I'm on their side. No, literally same. them literally same from the beginning when first twin said i why am i cleaning up garbage why am i taking out the garbage and cleaning the kitchen as an intern at a broadcasting company that's not the job of an intern that's the job of a paid person you didn't also was this internship paid no one ever said um so that's a i agree with her for being like we love a socialist twin why are we doing this this is not our job right that's a b the absolutely iconic behavior of landing a job thinking actually don't want to do this and then being like you know who does though my twin sister and then the twin sister subbing in and being incredible at her job if i was the boss i would have simply laughed and said all right you should hire her no exactly wow that's great i also love the very dramatic version of you mean my real name yes you better milk that moment look she knew it was coming she's been thinking about it for months she said there's no way that i can keep this going for the rest of my life because at some point they're gonna figure it out i actually i i feel like i'm okay thinking she left her facebook page open on purpose i think she was tired of living a double life right she got her however many months check and she was like all right cool i'm good right she was built for the stage what can i say no literally both of them i you know what i might revise my opinion on adult twins now because these two are absolutely doing it up it's giving parent trap like it's giving lindsey lohan it's giving like two of us we can make it next I'm so excited to share a little bit of gossip from the niche world in which I used to work I used to work in automotive museums um and for automotive event companies and this is a gossip about my most recent stint at a automotive museum where we were putting on a show all about insert American automobile sports car here. So it's all about that sports car. And one of the donors said, hey, you can use my car as a photo op. We said, that's awesome. So we get the car set up. It's about the third weekend that the show is open. I have a staff member staffed over there to help open the door and help people take pictures and kind of, you know, control it because it is still a donor's car. But he's also having to man this other area of the museum that's not as popular, but still sometimes people go over there and it's kind of a busy weekend. He comes and checks in at the end of his shed, he said, hey, the glove box of the photo op car won't close. And I'm like, that's weird. And he goes, also, there's a knife. I was like, what? I go over to the car. Sure enough, the glove box is open. We can't get it to latch closed. And I said, well, where's the knife? Like, is it a guest's knife? Whose knife is this? He goes, oh no, it fell out of the glove box. A kid was in there taking a photo with his mom and I guess he opened the glove box and it fell into his lap I was like oh fuck and so I you know he had the staff member not knowing what to do but also not wanting to carry around this pretty large pocket knife um he had put it in the center console the vehicle and and then just you know had said sorry no photo ops uh for the next 15 minutes and so i take a knife i lock it in my office and we still have to deal with the glove box the glove box is still not latching we do not own this vehicle we're like we have to we have to get this latched because we know that the donor is bringing his family by the next day so we quickly hop on on the internet, we find the latch piece for that vehicle. Luckily it was not yet considered too much of an antique because it was a plastic part. We overnight it, we replace it, we come in early, we replace it, make sure it latches, make sure it's the same color, works everything, and we never tell the donor the rest of the show goes fine and we return the vehicle in perfect condition with his knife. We turn to the glove box the day that he comes to pick it up. Oh my God. So we never find out anything about this knife. Is this another member of community-based organized crime? Is he Greek too? I'm not trying to do hate crimes against the Greeks. I'm just curious. Donating, being a rich person and donating your luxury sports car, knowing that there's a knife in the glove box is really I'm trying to put my my mind in in the mind in the body of the person who donated their car and I'm just like did you forget did you did you think that a glove box couldn't be open because it wasn't locked you know sometimes you can lock a glove box it clearly wasn't locked and so what what I'm not going to question why the knife because it's a pocket knife I feel as though I mean apparently pretty big yeah but I'm also kind of like what does a big pocket knife even mean you know to each their own okay sure why not I was much more stuck on the knife than you are but maybe that's just me well let's talk about it because I'm just kind of like well I've seen pocket knives of all sizes this is good yeah I've seen pocket knives of all sizes I feel like everyone knows at least one male who's super into knives for some reason. Do you not know a male who's super into knives? I don't think I do. Maybe they just haven't revealed it to me. Maybe they just haven't told me about how into knives they are because I don't give that kind of accepting spirit. But my dad is super into knives and so is one of my friends. And so I feel like I feel as though yeah I feel as though you know I'm I'm I'm abreast of you know the type of person who's like oh my god sick knife. Yeah okay I think I'm more used to like sword guys than I am knife guys you know what yeah and you don't think that's weirder well no because you can use the sword as a decorative object you're not putting your knife you're not displaying your knife yeah I do want to know what categorizes a pocket knife like because a pocket knife fits into your pocket that's what I'm how big can it be exactly that's I need more details about this knife actually was it clean that's I also was thinking you were gonna tell me there was blood on it like um I will say that when you said the knife fell into the lap of a child my first thought and this goes to show both my age and how long I've been on the internet you know that video probably a vine of that kid where someone's like what do you have in your hand and it's a kid running around he's like a knife and then his mom's like no that's exact I was like so this kid has a knife okay that's what I thought Yeah, that's such a good point. I imagine being that parent, though, and you're at this, your kid loves cars. And so you go to this car show and you're like, whoa. You can get inside the car. Photos in the car. So imagine you're just like in this car and taking photos. And all of a sudden, the glove box pops open and a knife falls into their lap. In a vintage car. My immediate thought is James Bond, motherfucker. What crimes happened in this car? And is my DNA now on a crime scene? my immediate thought is organized crime i mean i think we're two peas in a pod there it's like what what what what have i seen what am i a part of yeah what am i now a part of who is now coming for me exactly my young very adorable child my twin child one of my twins must be a twin must be a twin let's go on to the next I want to gossip about my friend's first weekend away with her boyfriend so she's been dating her boyfriend for like two months. They decide to take a little risk and go away for the weekend. Kind of low stakes, just a couple of nights away at a cute little cabin. It's got a hot tub. They're going to sit out under the stars. It's going to be very romantic. And she wakes up the morning of their trip with a double ear infection. So she fricking pops back like a million painkillers for this double ear infection because she's like, I'm going on this trip. She briefly tells her boyfriend about it, but doesn't want to make a big deal out of it because she's trying to make a good impression and trying to be very chill. They get to the place. It's beautiful. They start drinking. The combination of the painkillers with the alcohol makes her tummy very upset as she has to go shit her brains out in the bathroom. The toilet clogs. She does have to tell him about it because this is an Airbnb and she cannot get it to unclog. So already the lives are horrible. And she's like, I'm actually really trying to play down this double ear infection. I don't think I can go on the hike tomorrow. So he's like, that's okay. We'll go on a nice walk on the pier. So she goes to be a good sport. She's embarrassed about the night before. They go for a nice walk along the pier. Really cute. He's taking photos of her. She's twirling around, being very dramatic and cutesy for the photos. Her phone flies out of her pocket as she twirling for the photos and slow motion slides across the pier and into the ocean Now the phone is deep enough that you like I not going in there Also this is like in January, but it is shallow enough that they're like, we could get it. It's just at that sweet spot. And so she's like, let's go, let's go. So they go to the beach. They strip down. It's like kind of hot, kind of fun, kind of giggling. Because they're like, ooh, cheeky, I'm seeing you strip down on this beach. They go into the ocean. They're dying. They don't last more than one minute because they're like, I'm actually going to perish. She's like in no financial position to buy a new phone. So she is like really holding back tears. They go back. She hops in the hot tub. She's having a little bit of an existential crisis. and then he comes back out and says, hey, I booked you a wetsuit. Sorry, I booked you a wetsuit so that you can search the ocean. And she's like, why aren't you getting in the wetsuit? And he's like, it's your phone. I'll be there to encourage you. First of all, I want to know what the guest thoughts are on this. Red flag, green flag. So they go. She gets suited up. She goes back to the spot by the pier. At this point, it's been like at least an hour and a half to two hours that the phone has been at the bottom of the ocean. She gets into the ocean much better in the wetsuit, much better in the wetsuit. She's searching. She's searching. She's not finding anything. Like an angel from the heavens, a mysterious man is like, what are you looking for? And she says, I'm looking for my phone. I dropped it off the pier. And he goes, what time did you drop it? She said, I don't know, maybe perhaps 11 a.m. He like licks his finger like a man from old lore and like calculates the wind. And he's like, with the current, I do believe your phone should be right around. He takes like nine to 10 strides down the pier and like points down and she goes over there. Lo and behold, there's the phone. She picks it up. It's still working. It's still on. She like celebrates with the boyfriend. They are still together to this day this trip actually brought them together despite all the disasters girl girly pop there are so many other things um you you can postpone a trip with a double ear infection we need not we need not go through all of that a trip with water-based activities And like altitude. Why are you getting water in your infected ears? Also, go to the fucking urgent care. They will give you an antibiotic real fast. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I don't know what the financial situation is. No, you're right. Actually, she did say she was not in a financial situation to get a new phone. So that's really fair. We don't know if she has insurance. That's so fair. That's so fair. I do get that. But also, first of all, you really need to be careful with painkillers, especially with what you're eating, especially if you're taking a lot. But you also just didn't need to go on the trip, baby girl. It's okay. Next time. We know this now. I, too, have been on a trip with friends, not a romantic partner with friends, where I have had to embarrassingly, like I'm in an Airbnb and I have had to take a shit. And I've clogged the toilet and it won't clog. And I've had to like, yeah, it's not fun. It's like we laugh about it now. It's my worst fear. But I can just I just wanted to say that to say I relate and, you know, salute to my sister. That's not a fun experience to be in. And I couldn't even imagine if it wasn't just close friends instead of a romantic partner. And so I do. Romantic partner two months. Yes. Yes. Early romantic partner. if my phone dropped into the sea and i needed to go get it because i wasn't in a financial place to buy a new one and my romantic partner of two months said i booked you a wetsuit and not us wetsuits yeah no i don't know if we would still be and i'm happy for you i'm so happy for you that you're still together and that it's happy and that this brought you closer. I would not be that, though. I would be very weirded out because it's just kind of like, it would be one thing if maybe this person is afraid of the ocean or has a fear of swimming or whatever, but they clearly got into the ocean with them earlier on to help them find it before the wetsuit. Yes. And so it's like, well, what is the difference now? You just didn't want to do it. No, exactly. It's, I don't like that part. I don't like that part. I don't like that he didn't book himself a wetsuit instead of her. Because if I was on a trip. Or both of us. Why am I doing it alone? Maybe he only had enough money for one wetsuit. I'm going to give him that. I'm going to be nice on that. But if I was on a trip with my recent girlfriend who told me she has a double ear infection. I would simply think, you know what? Let me go out into the ocean for her. did he know that she had yes she said she mentioned it she's like yes she had already talked to me about it i'm like yeah that's crazy i forgot that she had that's even crazier i like that even less now i'm like what's wrong with you like on one hand it is i it's the action is very um incomprehensible to me because on one hand getting a wetsuit is actually a really smart idea i would not have thought about that i would have simply been like it's lost to the ocean and I will no longer be able to communicate with anybody. Oh, no. But buying a wetsuit, it does make sense that you can do that near a beach. Like now, if I ever drop anything, I will look for a wetsuit. But on one hand, consider it. On the other hand, why did you send her in there by herself? Herself. That's crazy. And then we must talk about the mystical water fairy. I love. emerged out of nowhere and licked his finger and held it up to the wind and said your phone should be right about here based on the current what kind of she should have married him him that's what i thought that's no rachel i legitimately thought that that's where this story was going i was like oh my god and so she ended up with him yeah she didn't it's fine i love this is such a spiritual whatever whatever thing but do you ever have those moments in life where you have an interaction with someone else or an encounter with someone else and you feel like you were here to help me because my ancestors or someone up on high was like, this girl needs to either get her shit together or she needs some help or she needs a shoulder to cry on. And it's like you just meet these strangers and they deliver you information or help that just feels so serendipitous that it can't be a coincidence, right? This is one of those moments. someone was looking out for your friend who had dropped her phone into the ocean and someone I don't know if it's an ancestor or whoever but someone was looking out for her and someone sent this very kind mystical man to her aid and I love that for her I love these sort of moments in life they're so spicy they make they make life special but they're also a little scary when you're in them no exactly it's like where did you come from exactly if a man held his finger up to the wind I would be like I'm sorry what like in my man this man looks like Hozier can't tell you why um well no wonder you wanted her to marry him I just wonder if this man continued to be in corporal form once her phone was found right yeah disappear it's like she gets it she's like oh my god it's still working and she turns around she's like where did he go that's what I'm picturing yeah um yeah that's incredible it's also going to be really funny if someone's just like this is just the knowledge that someone would have if they sailed which is probably true but to me this was like mystical lost knowledge that is simply not to be um held by humans i agree i agree i want to go to a small seaside town and have this happen to me not all the uh horrible parts but just the encounter with a magical mystical man who knows a nautical wind no literally i would I must bring it back to one of my very first points, which is I know that when you're buying a phone, you're like, this is a big expense. Just pay the extra for the insurance. Yeah, for sure. Just pay a little bit extra for the insurance. It's like when you go out, you should include the 20% tip in your food. Otherwise, you can't actually afford to go out. It's the same with the phone. Just include the insurance. You're going to want it. You're going to want to use it. Just buy the insurance. or like me when i'm going to the airport because i know i'm not taking public transportation so i need to add in exactly an extra 120 dollars because it's 60 there and 60 back exactly add that into the plane ticket no literally it's exactly like that it's no it's just it's smart you're right you're so right it's just that women are in stem it's girl math but these girls are in stem exactly it's recognizing who you are and if you're someone who might drop their phone i'm talking about me to be clear i broke many phones before they became more resistant to being dropped then that's why I always have the insurance I do love having insurance it does make me feel more secure I'm really happy that this couple is still together I'm also I will never forget this in fact I will always be thinking about that time that I heard that story about that one guy who let his girlfriend of two months go into an ocean alone with a double ear infection after she had already shit her brains out the previous evening and was feeling awful to go find her phone alone and just with the help of one mystical man i will never forget this maybe the boyfriend who rented the wetsuit is actually a fairy but he knew he couldn't reveal his true form to her and so he said i have to get her the wetsuit to get her away from me and then i will i will emerge in my true form to help her that makes this story feel better to me. So true. I also love the slight shade that I think the caller in also thinks that it's a red flag because they specifically stopped. They were just like, is that a red flag? Yes. Confirm. We can confirm. That's a red flag. Yes, girl. But I wish them all the best. You know what? Sure. Long life, prosperous, whatever. Thank you so much for this gossip. Thank you, Nadira. This was another great episode. I'm going to be thinking about a lot of these things. The Greek Mafia, the water fairy automotive museums the knife the knife I'm gonna this has given me some food for thought as always thanks for having me I will do this anytime you ask literally anytime thank you so much for listening to Normal Gossip if you have a gossip story to share with us that email is normal gossip at defector.com or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 gossip if you love this podcast and want to support us become a friend or a friend of a friend at support normal gossip.com you can follow the show on instagram and tiktok at at normal gossip normal gossip is hosted by me rachel hampton our lead producer is sierra spragley ricks our subscriber episodes are produced by jay Tol Vieira. The co-creators and Dowager Queens of Normal Gossip are Alex Sujong Laughlin and Kelsey McKinney. Defector's project editor is Justin Ellis. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are Defector's business guys. Alex Sujong Laughlin is Defector's supervising producer. 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