Ether Bunny

Well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there, wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here, yeah I'm a sports junkie, I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating and air conditioning and I really think you should too. But right now it's HVACmania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tuneup, normally $148. And no, it's never too late to show your furnace some love. And if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12, now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. Go to StandardHeating.com and mention 93X. Standard heating and air conditioning. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Has no turning back now. Welcome to the 93X Half-Hast Morning Show. It's damn early. For those of you who haven't started up with the driving to work routine just yet, we ought to let you know that roads are looking pretty decent in the metropolitan area, at least so far. The weather could change for the worse and quickly, of course. But the roads are more or less just wet in the metro. You outstate folks will have to find out on your own, but you're used to that. I thought it would be necessary, Josh, to lead off with a little gibber jabber on the road condition seeing how there was a lot of hubbub last night on television about this cute little storm cutting through town. Well, there are local schools that were canceled yesterday. I know Dana, your wife is a part of one of those districts. Yeah, Bloomington School District. They closed down about 4.35 o'clock yesterday. They just called it smooth off. I was kind of shocked, actually. But like Nick said, there was so much talk about how terrible it was going to be on the way in. I left, I mean, things could have changed. I saw maybe by 6 a.m., which we're coming up on, obviously. Maybe you could get worse. But I left about 3.09 this morning. 3.09! Jesus. Well, which is not that unusual for me, but I figured I'm going to get there and text you guys if it's bad. And it was, like Nick said, just wet. I was kind of expecting to text from you, Josh, saying that the roads were bad. But it was nothing. I will say, though, if you park outside, you're going to have to do some scraping. The car will be in a little bit of an ice cube. I was lucky. I didn't have to scrape at all. I mean, I parked outside for some reason. I don't know why. I literally have a garage to park in. And I didn't have to- Take advantage, Ashley. I didn't have to scrape anything. The windshield wipers took care of it easily. I was- As soon as I opened the garage door, I was like, oh, no. And then I got in, flipped the wipers on, and I was like, ow! It's going to be a good day. Text are coming in saying it's nothing out there, just wet. Yeah, Josh, like you said, you were surprised when I texted you that my wife's school district got called off. She did too at first. She was convinced it was an April Fool's joke from her principal. Oh, shoot, yeah. She was like waiting for the official email to go out to parents and everything like that before she actually believed it. She thought maybe it was just the principal just trying to pull a very mean prank. Maybe it's more for the way home because it's supposed to be like crappy all day today. That might be it, Smashley. What's with this 309? I'm leaving at 309, Josh. I thought we agreed that we were going to treat the last four or five years of our career here. I thought we were- I thought we had engaged Operation F-Off, where we were going to start sleeping in a little bit more and doing a lot less show prep and caring a lot less about the end results of every program. It's coming. It's coming. 309 does not sound like you're taking it easy. What the hell do you do here for an hour and a half before the- It takes nine minutes to get out of my house. I've got it perfected from the time my alarm goes off to when I leave. It's nine minutes every single day. Do you guys have that figured out exactly where you're at? No. Oh, yeah, yeah. I do. I've been in the car within three minutes, but I like to kind of sit and stare out the window and question my life choices for a while. But wait a minute. That's not what we're talking about. Why are you still getting behind the wheel at 309? I don't know. It just seems like there's things to do around here. Can you not let it go? I'll let it go at some point. We had an agreement. I know. I know. I'll let it go. In order for me to get out of the house at 309- He's never going to let it go. He's never going to let it go. I have to wake up at like 1 a.m. Huh? I need to get out of the house at 309. I'd have to wake up at like 1 a.m. That's so much stuff to do in the morning now. Look at me. Look how comfortable I am. That won't last. You do look super comfy. Look at this. He's kicked himself back in his seat. Sorry, I'm starting. He's leaned himself back in his chair. I'm as far back as you can go, bro. It ain't going to last. I'm just going to cool character. You'll be sitting up straight. You'll be sitting up straight as an arrow in no time. What are you talking about, Ashley? What are you talking about? I eat you. You don't really get up two hours before you leave the house. Yeah, I get up at three. Well, okay, so an hour and a half, hour and a half. Yeah, I have to pump for a while, and then I have to clean the pump parts. Oh, for Christ's sake. Then I have to get ready. At any rate, what were we talking about? The roads, yeah. As far as we've experienced, things are doable. If it begins to rain and the temperature drops, well, that's your ass, I guess, but so far it's doable. Maybe this will be the last of it. The most exciting, iffy road conditions. The last of it for the winter season. What's going on today? Dana's back in the mix. How are you doing, son? I'm doing well. Good to be back. You took yesterday off to go see Super Mario Galaxy 10 times. Right, yeah, I was in the theater all day. Have you seen it, actually? No. No, I haven't seen it. And to be honest with you, I haven't seen it. I've seen like 20 minutes of the first one. I'm kind of shocked. Yeah, a lot of people are when they hear that, but the movies just don't really appeal to me. I love the games. I love Vintage Nintendo, but I don't need to see Chris Pratt run around as Mario. Yeah, I thought you've said that before, yeah. That took me by surprise, too. I guess a lot of times you'll go to those movie previews. Yeah. And so I figured that'd be one of them. Yeah, sometimes I do, but this one, no. I honestly just have no real interest. And I've heard from other people like me who love the games, love the Vintage Nintendo, that it's a movie geared strictly for eight-year-olds, which I guess is me, but. Yeah. Set records yesterday at the box office. I bet it did. I'm sure it's going to be very popular. I'm the same way, Dana. I'm not interested in any of the movies or TV shows that are made after video games. I don't know why. I just have zero interest in them. Right, yeah. I'm the same way. I like some of them. Fill me in. Tell me a great video game movie. Because I don't get myself involved in such things, Josh. You just said you like some of them. Oh, well, I liked the most recent Mortal Kombat movie. That was the first one that came to mind, too. That was a lot of fun. There's an upcoming Street Fighter movie that looks really cool. Mortal Kombat, never saw it, but I remember. Uncharted was OK. I remember the stories about the over-the-top, just stomach churning violence of the video game, right? Mortal Kombat? Do I have the right game? Oh, yeah, the fatalities were brutal and fun and over-the-top and hilarious and gory. Did you get that in the movie, Josh, where they pull in the eyes out and pulling people's hearts out of their chests? I don't think so. I guess I don't remember. It was a handful of years ago. Yeah, no, it was just like the video game. They were very over-the-top. Were they? Yeah, ripping the guys head off with his whole spine attached to it. I watched movies and then immediately forget what happened. There's so much content and TV shows and movies these days. You're right. I don't remember. Usually, back in the day, going to see the movie would be like a treat. Now I feel like I'm just constantly watching things and to the point where I know I love the show, but then the next season comes out and I have no idea what happened in the last season. When it comes to shows, actually medical device, Jesus just texas in, The Witcher. I loved the first three seasons of The Witcher. I'm a Henry Cavill guy. Oh, you are. I started the new one. I got through maybe one episode. But The Witcher, that's a good one. Speaking of the movie theater, here's something I learned a day or two ago. You know, on many occasions, on many occasions, if I were Canadian or Ashley, I would say on many occasions, a copy over here will tell us that the first thing that crosses your mind when you get out of bed, which we understand now is at 3 o'clock in the morning. Good Lord. The first thing that crosses your mind when you get out of bed is you ask yourself, how soon can I get my work done and get my carcass right back into bed? Yeah, sometimes. I definitely feel that way sometimes. Although you're a terrible napper. You don't take great advantage of your opportunity to nap. You're one of these, Josh will say to me, hey, I got a nap yesterday. And I'll say, oh, man, good for you. Yeah, it's about 15, 20 minutes. And I'll say, dude, that's not a, anyway, sometimes the first thing that crosses your mind when you get out the fart sack is, how soon can I crawl my sad ass back in? Here's something I learned. The young people by God, the young people who have just entered the workforce is how you say it. They're using their lunch breaks at work. They're using that time to nap and cry. Definitely. I used to do that all the time. I used to always use that time to just go lay in my car and try to fall asleep. Yeah. There's places that have nap pods. Like it seems like those tech companies, like a Google or something like that. I created a nap pod at my last job at the radio station. We had some old promotions clause with a bunch of old t-shirts. And I just created a nice little nap pod for myself. There was an orgy pod here for a little while. There was. Radio gets wild. There's nothing new to what I just said. Young people using their lunch break to nap and or cry. But remember, I said, speaking of the movie theater, this is the information that I found to be unique. Because yeah, when I used to work warehouse gigs, I mean, I guess nine times out of 10, we all sat in the break room together for lunch and had some laughs. But every once in a while, I would go out to my car and just eat in my car like a jackass. I was always very careful not to get too comfortable because I could have easily fallen asleep in there. And if I would have, I just would have stayed there. Slop through the afternoon. Yeah. When I fall asleep, it's a deep, deep sleep. So I was always careful not to nap out there. But here's the part that's unique. It says here that the young people are taking their hour lunch break. That sounds nice. I don't know if I ever worked anywhere with an hour lunch. Never. But they'll go to the local theater and use those comfortable freaking seeds they have in the theater now. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I had a problem. That's really smart. Or for a while, I was falling asleep at any movie I went to. To the point where I was concerned. Yeah. Then you wake up. You're like, well, that was a waste of money. No doubt. That's a really cool idea. The seats in movie theaters now are so terrific with the ability to recline and this and that. So I guess if you're the type that goes to a matinee on a Tuesday or a Thursday or something, expect to see 23, four-year-old people unconscious. That's where they're going to take their little nap breaks during the day. I had a great setup when I worked at a car rental agency because we had those like Sprinter van, those 10 passenger vans. So you could just go lay it out in there. It was like a couch in the way back seat. It was nice. You get a good nap in there rather than trying to recline your seat in your car and try to fall asleep for 15 minutes. I've never been able to fall asleep in a car while parked, only while driving. Oh, it took me a while to be able to get that down. But as long as I have something to put under my head, I'm good. And I always have blankies in my car, so that helps. Do you really? Yeah. Like emergency blankies? I get cold sometimes in the mornings. And instead of like, I'll have a perfectly good pair of pants on and it doesn't get the job done. And so instead of putting like two more layers of pants, I'm like, I'll just grab this blanket and wrap it around me. Do you not use the heat function in your vehicle? It takes too long. The only thing people are questioning here with this new gimmick where young folks are using their lunch break to go to the movie theater and nap, people are saying you're paying $15 or whatever to take a nap. Right. Yeah, it's crazy. It doesn't sound like they care. They love that spot. They find it to be very comfortable. Get something to eat. Nice and dark. Have some lunch. Sure. Yeah, that sounds nice, actually. A few people text in and saying they have nap areas at their work. Oh, I'm so jealous. That's wonderful. My wife had a friend. She's retired now, but she was an air traffic controller. And they had a place to nap, she said. Well, they deserve it. I heard that's like the most stressful job you could possibly have. Yeah, I can't remember what she said, how long they're on. You're on for a while, right? But they want you very well rested, obviously. So it's not like you're not sitting there for eight hours from what she told us. Wow, this is really interesting. A lot of texts are coming in talking about their designated nap areas at their place of business. You know, if we get the gas around here anytime soon, and I have to go back to a 9 to 5 type gig, I'm totally screwed because I am so programmed now over 30 years. I'm so programmed to fall immediately unconscious as soon as I eat. You're on the weekends? Do you nap on the weekends? Oh, yeah, every single day. I'm at the point now where I nap every single day. And it's usually right after I have lunch. That's how it works Monday through Friday for me. Soon as we leave this nightmare, go home, whip down something to eat, and I'm out cold. So this is how this will be a major problem for me if I have to go. If I had to work my brother-in-law at the friggin' Chrysler plant, once we had lunch, I would be a mess. I think I'd have to start taking Tiger Woods level of amphetamines or something. I'm soaked. My body just to make him sleepy. Yeah, you need something else. My body knows now that as soon as I have a meal, somewhere around 11 noon, 1 o'clock, it shuts completely down. If we didn't work here and I had to get a 9 to 5, I wouldn't. I would just not work anymore. I'm sorry. You just would not take it. I would choose not to work anymore. You starved to death? No, my husband's offered to have me not work anymore. But these job hours are so ideal. It's perfect. And so. Oh, god, you call this perfect? Yeah. Well, for my life, it works pretty well. And I like it here. So I was like, well, I want to keep working. And you like it here. I agree with the second part of that, but the first part confuses me. Sprinklerfitter Jesus says, you know, any area is a nap area if you just don't care. Yeah, true. People used to sleep here. They had couches in this business. Actually, you used to, didn't you? You take naps here? There have been times where I've been so tired. I've gotten like an hour of sleep the night before, where we have like a five minute break in between segments. And I'll set my phone alarm for four minutes and just lay down for those four minutes. We thought you were pooping. Honestly, you'd go nap during the show? No, not during the show. Oh. Somebody shi- their pants in the studio earlier. Wasn't me. Yeah. I'm not guilty. Yeah, Cubby, those fancy, spancy chairs that they set you in now at your local theater. Man, you mentioned you have trouble staying awake? I did for a while. Yeah, it's been a really long time since I've been to a movie, so maybe I would. I crashed out completely. Kind of surprised me, really. But I was in the theater watching a Star Wars movie. And I don't have any interest in the Star Wars series. I went along just to go along and got myself a big old bucket of popcorn. I love movie theater popcorn. And I was just fisting this down. Love that stuff. And so I think my body got into that full belly equals nap mode, and I fell completely out. I remember the music, right? The famous Star Wars music and the ship that slowly- and then they set it up with a little story in a galaxy far far. Geez, if you fell asleep during the previews, and then that Star Wars music kicked in, you'd have a friggin' heart in it. Oh, yeah, you're right. I fell asleep after the intro. Not they don't call it an intro. What do they call it? I fell asleep after the open of the movie. The crawl. The crawling storyline. And I woke up, and Han Solo was dead. Ah, yeah, I hated that. Yeah. That was a pretty good poke. I think it was like an hour and a half. This is a great idea. If you're going to take a nap, do it under a ladder. That way, if you get caught, you can just say you fell. Oh my god, I must have got knocked out. I was working so hard. Oh, yeah. I'd be afraid to try to nap around here, because I'd just stay down. Once the lights go out, it's hard to get me going again during the day. I suppose that night as well. Laying down for two minutes has never once helped in any situation. I don't know. I used to do that all the time. God, I don't know why I thought that would help. It would just make me feel so much worse. Yeah, two minutes, 15, 20 minutes. That's not a nap. That's a blink of an eye. It's like, why? It is mostly because I would have such a bad migraines, where it's like, OK, maybe if I just close my eyes, that will help. But nope, never, never helped. Now people are texting in saying they've had folks take naps at work unauthorized, and that was it for them. Got fired. I can imagine that's probably something that could get you in some trouble. Got caught sleeping on the job, huh? I've been having a weird deal lately, just kind of like how it was with movies, where if my wife and I are watching something, and a lot of times it's because we start stuff kind of late, I'm totally fine, and all of a sudden I wake up. Never felt it coming. Basically it was like somebody hit me with a trank dart. I was just out. Don't know what happened. So I've missed the majority of everything we've watched in the last two months. Yeah, well, you're getting a little older now. Yeah, I think that's it. I actually hate that when I don't remember falling asleep, because it doesn't feel the same. Like, I don't feel as refreshed. I don't know why. Like, if I can't remember actually slick, all of a sudden I just wake up. I'm like, oh, I've probably been sleeping for like 10 minutes. You check your phone, and I go, great, awesome. Love this. My father-in-law is 89 years old. And they've visited my wife and I, of course, at time or two. That's some bitch. My father-in-law, he'll drop out four or five times in three hours. Those old bad naps. Dude, he just sits in the chair, and he's talking back and forth, and you'll see his head just drop, and that's it. And he'll be out cold for about 20 minutes. And then he's right back in. What were you saying the other day? That's how it goes. My buddy, Mucho Grande, his grandma, when we were in high school, his grandma had narcolepsy. And so she'd like a fainting goat. She'd be standing up, fall asleep against a wall. She'd just fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. It didn't matter. That's scary. It's the only time I ever had met anybody that had that, where I witnessed it. I mean, it was consistent. I imagine she wasn't behind the wheel during road trips. No, no, no. She was real. How old did you say your father-in-law is? 89. She must have been right around there. Anyone ever have a problem taking naps behind the wheel? Yeah, when I lived in Wisconsin. Oh, sure. It's because you were doing that hour and a half to and from work brilliant idea that Josh and I tried to talk you out of right away. Yeah, I definitely almost died multiple times. I should be dead from doing that. Well, yeah, that was silly. Any of us would have struggled with an hour and a half to and from work. A couple of my buddies, dangerous, behind the wheel nappers. And one of them took a job driving a city bus, which shocked the hell out of all of us, because he had a real problem. I make a real problem. I think I don't know if he's ever been to the doctor to get a diagnosis. What do you call it, Josh? Narcolepsy? Yeah. This dude absolutely has. Narcolepsy. He just burped and he's asleep out of nowhere. But he takes a job right out of college driving a bus. And I thought, he'll be dead within a year. He's made it. I know that he gets up real, real early, much earlier than he has to, and just bombs his body with caffeine. And I think that's the only way he can make it. He just has to stay jacked on Red Bull and whatever he can get his hands on, because it's a real issue. I don't know how many times when we were kids, when I'd be riding in a car with him, and I'd look over and he's asleep. Yeah, I had a little issue with that as a young man just burning the candle on both ends, between jobs and social life. Like, I'd drive home at like 3 in the morning or something. All of a sudden, I wake up and I've got grass all over my car somehow. Really? See, God, when I was young, I could stay awake for days. Was it possible that that was your epilepsy? It could be. Before I was diagnosed. Yeah. It is possible, definitely. When I was a young kid, I could keep her going for. So yeah, that's a scary thing. Narcolepsy, you can fall asleep at any time, unannounced. Jesus. I just mentioned that all of a sudden, I'm out lately watching shows, and people are thinking a couple of theories, both suggesting my wife is drugging me. One, so I don't talk during the show. And also to take advantage of me. She should know. She can do that when I'm awake. Don't have to roofie me, honey. Yeah, don't roofie me. I want to remember this. I want to be a part of it. You ever woken up with the weight of a pillow across your face? God, Lord. Yes, and an angry look on my wife's face. That happens at my house now and again. Oh, my gosh. I'll just feel the weight of a pillow. And then, oh, you're still awake? Sleep. It was funny the first couple of times. Now it's getting kind of creepy. I've been a little sketched out lately with Drive-In anywhere because I started like an anxiety medication, and it makes me sleepy, very, very sleepy. And sometimes after the show on my way home, I get scared for my life. But I have to take it. So it just sucks that I have to take it so early in the day when I'm already tired. So it just screws me up. And then I get home, and I'm like, I don't know how I made it here. I don't know how I made it right now. Well, maybe we ought to get you an endorsement with Mountain Dew or something. I need a driver. People are saying if you fall asleep that easy, sleep apnea could be an issue. I guess I never considered that. Maybe that is. There's something a few people said. Like tired all the time, Jesus. He said he went for decades with untreated sleep apnea, and he'd fall asleep at red lights. Oh, wow. I'm pretty pissed off at the sleep apnea people. The folks that run that whole ordeal? Yeah, the folks that run the sleep apnea company. I'm pissed off. They're aware. They're aware of my anger? Yeah, I believe the memo section of a check told them how you felt. God. Yeah. I've been doing this gasping for air in the middle of the night routine for years. And I finally go in. I went to the sleep apnea center, big building. Says mattress firm on the outside. I went to the sleep apnea tower, and they tested me up and down. I was so excited. I was so excited because so many of my friends have that sleep apnea mask where you look like an astronaut ready to, so many of them, talk about the sleep apnea mask, the sleep apnea machine is so wonderful, and it's changed their life for the better, and they get such a great night's sleep. So I go in, and I thought for sure, for sure after they tested me, they'd give me the baddest model they have of the sleep apnea. And they said, yeah, no, you don't qualify. But yet still, I do the wake up in the middle of it. That is weird. Oh, that is the scariest, the scariest feeling in the world. I hate that feeling. Could it be related to the pillow that keeps crossing your face at night? That frigging pillow, man. You think you're not going to feel it? Yeah, you feel it. You do. I don't know. They told me I did not stop breathing enough to qualify for their precious sleep apnea machine. So I'm still envious of those of you who strap that big bucket over your head every night and do poof. I wonder how hard that is to sleep with or get used to it. They say you get used to it quick. Yeah, that's what I've heard too. I want one, Cubby. Ooh, so bad I can taste it. I want one. Can you just get one? I don't think you can. I don't know if you can just get one. Yeah, can you buy one on Amazon? I don't know. I don't. Is there a black market for such a thing? I check your Facebook Marketplace. I should have looked in. I'm not wired well enough to look that up. I was so convinced they were going to give me one. And they said, no, get out of here. I thought you would too, based on what you were describing. Dude, perfect. You can buy one on Amazon for $800. What they put in that sum, bitch. Some arsenic or something. Dang. Is that a suicide machine? You probably don't want the one that's only 3.6 stars. I'd shoot for maybe the 4.7. Because of the jar of chloroform? Right. This is great. So with narcolepsy, Red Butcher Jesus said being narcoleptic would be a great excuse for ending conversations. Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, sorry, my narcolepsy. Oh, that'd be awesome. Would you buy a sleep apnea machine off the internet, Josh? If I was desperate, and the corporation that runs that whole deal wouldn't give me one. A little visit from the ether bunny? Yeah. Boxfossin Jesus said he's heard people commonly steal those things. Well, yeah, they're that expensive. I'm not going to steal anyone's, how do you call it again? I just said it five or six times, and I can't think of what it's called. You're getting a great night's sleep finally, and someone breaks into your house, and the only thing they steal is your sleep apnea. That's the word. I'm not stealing anyone's sleep apnea machine. What are those strips that you used to see athletes wear? Oh, the breathe-right? Yeah, breathe-right. I wonder if that would do anything for you. I saw a bartender wearing one of those recently. Like people wear it during the day? Yeah, he was behind the bar wearing one of those breathe-rights. Maybe he had got punched in the nose, and it was, I don't know. Josh, boy, that was hotter than hell for a stretch of time. Everyone was wearing those on the ball field, right? I guess I haven't noticed in a long time. Jesus, look at the time. We got to get going. But you know, you could be right. You mentioned a breathe-right. Open up my nostril passages, what I could. Nasal passages. Nasal passages. It could be my own fault. A guy broke my nose for me playing beer league hockey 15 years ago, and I never got my nose fixed. And the doctor told me, he said, you better, because he didn't have the means. I was in Windham, Minnesota, and I got my nose broke for me out on the ice. You should have seen what I did to the other guy in the friggin' parking lot in front of his wife and kids. But guy breaks my nose for me. I go to the doctor's office in Windham. It's one guy sitting there. The office was, the building was no bigger than this studio. And I said, yeah, I got my nose broke for me, and I needed stitches and whatnot, right? He stitched me up, but he said, I can't correct your nose. I'm not built for that. I'm not qualified for that. But he said, you got to, when you go home, have your regular doctor set the bones again, or whatever, fix your nose. He said, don't come bitching to me 20 years from now when you can't breathe right. And I was a young guy, so I was like, yeah, whatever. So I never got my nose fixed. I never did. You maybe, that might be the cause of all of it. It could be. I wonder. So I referenced this, but maybe share how the CPAP people found out that you were displeased with their service. Do you remember the check you wrote them? Oh, I forgot all about that. Oh my damn. That was my first trip to the CPAP center. I had another one a year ago that I took more seriously, and that was where they turned me down. But you're right, my very first trip ever to the Sleep Apnea Center, I went in there. They looked me up and down, and they gave me this machine to bring home with me. You put sensors all over your chest and all over your face, and you hit a record button, right? The second test I got, they tested me right there in the building. The first time, they gave me this machine to bring home. They said, put it on your carcass tonight and bring the results back to us. Well, that night, I don't know what was wrong with me. Maybe I was drunk. But I just, I was creeped out by the thought of all of these sensors on me, and creeped out by the thought of this machine reading my body. So I never even put it on. I chickened out for some reason. The next day, I brought the machine back, like I was told to do, and I put it on the counter. And I said, yeah, I couldn't go through with it. I didn't have the balls. Sorry, maybe some other time, right? And the lady said, oh, it happens. The lady at the counter said, oh, it happens. But you owe us $425 for bringing that machine home last night. And I said, what? Nobody told me that yesterday. I'm not paying that. They made it seem like this was, so I had this pissing match back and forth with the lady. I said, you got to be kidding me. $400, just because I brought this stupid Walkman home with all this stuff. Have funding collections. It's not happening. So I said, you know what, FU? And I wrote out the check on the memo. What did I write? I thought it was like FU or something like that. On the check memo, I wrote, go F yourself. And handed it to the lady. I don't know if I ever wrote anything on a check memo before. Certainly not a cuss word. That's a little bit. Oh, I forgot all about that. That was a good one. Oh, great. One Lister texted in to say, I had trouble falling asleep, and it was because I had cancer. Great. Oh, yeah, that's great. I got it. We got to get going. Goodbye, Nick. I'll check in on you from time to time. Look how relaxed I am. We got to get going. Stupid news is next. Half-assed morning show, 93X. Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there. Wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie. I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating and air conditioning. And I really think you should too. Right now, it's HVAC mania. And these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tuneup, normally $148 bucks. And no, it's never too late to show your furnace of love. And if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12, now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. Go to standardheating.com and mention 93X. Standard heating and air conditioning. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialke Law today, 763-571-2410 or go to BialkeLaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. Next roll with Vernon Davis, the transformative journeys of athletes, artists, and entrepreneurs. Ladies and gentlemen, lights out, Sean Merriman. I want to be the biggest and the best when I do. And so whatever it takes, I'll get it done in business and everything else. All I do is know how to fight and earn what I want. My man, Malik asks, what actor, comedian, would you want to collaborate with? Me, Jamie Foxley, Kevin Hart in a movie. We said it on Vernon Davis podcast then. We'll circle back. Yeah, you got to clear. Next roll with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. So we were having a conversation about those gimmicks a little earlier on this morning. Ooh, I want one. A sleep apnea machine. But the sleep apnea mafia, Josh, they told me that I don't qualify. I'm not close enough to death, they said. So they said, no, we will not strap a sleep apnea machine to your face. They turned me down and I'm upset about it. I wonder why. I mean, what's the threshold on that? How bad do you have to be? If you're gasping at night to me, it seems like this guy's close enough. You got to stop breathing like two more times. Is there harm in it? That's a good question. I'm just a dummy. I went along with it. I said, what? I don't qualify, but every night I'm gasping for it. And they said, no, you're not in bad enough trouble. You're not close enough to death. Get out of here, they said. Enough. Yeah. There's like a number, there's a threshold at any rate. We got some text messages on the sleep apnea machine. I've been offered used machines. Oh, cool. I've been offered quite a few used machines. If you could pick one person who's used machine that you would accept, but you don't want them to clean it whatsoever, what person would that be? Are we talking from anybody in the entire world? Anybody in the entire world. Don't clean the sleep apnea machine. Like it would be, to you, it would be less valuable if they cleaned it first. I want all that dried saliva. You want everything. Maybe even some mucus. Yeah. Oh God, the list actually, sadly the list is long. You could probably rattle them off as easily as I could. Wait, let's say there's a vintage Anna Nicole Smith one, so it's been just sitting there for years. Did she sneeze in it? She did. Oh yeah. Gimme. Yeah, she had a real bad cold. She was the first case of COVID. There's a mold in it. God. One of our listeners says I can have his sleep apnea machine. It gives him terrible claustrophobic nightmares. Oh, I can see that. Why wouldn't you want that? Trying to fall asleep with a mask on your face? Yeah, I think that would kind of frighten me. I would absolutely freak out because, I mean, can you really even like lay on your side much? I'm a side sleeper. Yep. They say it takes some getting used to. I wouldn't think so. After a while, you can sleep upside down and backwards. I'm like shoving my face into the pillow every once in a while. You know, just kind of rubbing my face against the pillow. You can't do that. Oh yeah. I'm again, five or six of my best pals ride one of these pigs into the ground every night. They strap on the sleep apnea machine and they say, yeah, in the early days, you forget it's there and you scratch your face and tear it right off of your face. But they say you get, and every day, I think the unit itself gets smaller and less, what's the word? Invasive? Invasive is a great word. You should just get a hypobaric chamber. Maybe we could go on YouTube and learn how to build one. Like, you know, your athletes sleep in those things. Just pure oxygen in there. Don't smoke. Whatever you do, don't smoke in that thing. You know, a palamine used to work at a hypobaric chamber therapy center. Oh really? Yeah. Dude leads the league in odd jobs. Yeah, what in the world? How do you get that kind of job? He had a pen that worked. All he had to do was sit there and read the newspaper. And when someone said, I have a one o'clock appointment with the hypobaric chamber, he would unlock the office and flip open the glass door and they'd lay down. So it wasn't like he was a scientist or he was just some dork that read the sports page all day long. Um, here's another text. Uh, Josh, would you use a dead man's sleep apnea machine? A lister texted in and said, you know, my dad checked out a handful of months ago. Do you want his sleep apnea machine? To honor him, yes, I would accept. Well, did it kill him? Oh, shoot. I should have asked that question. Yeah, how did he die? Can the sleep apnea machine kill a person? I don't know. Yeah, can you put it on a vacuum mode where it just sucks all the oxygen right out of you? And you're starved for oxygen? It seems like so many people have these and I cannot but like think about if they didn't exist, would people be like dying from this? It's the hottest gimmick in the world today, sleep apnea. I did a sleep study once, not for that for epilepsy. And I, that was very uncomfortable because they didn't have to shave my head. It was already done for me thanks to genetics. But they put sensors all over me and I slept in this room and there's like a second level, it was like being in a gym. There's a second level where there's people behind computers watching you sleep. They're there all night monitoring the computers. No. There's no way you could good night sleep like that. I'm lucky I can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. Did they give you a little dope too? Yeah, I imagine they could give you like some Advan or something like that. I don't think so. I would imagine that would affect like brain activity. Oh, true. Yeah, this was, you know, at this point, 20 years ago almost. But yeah, I remember it was pretty uncomfortable and I thought, I can see them and it was weird enough to know that they were there. Yeah. But I could see them through a window. Yeah. At least like a TV, you could watch while going to bed. I would be able to just like lay there. It was basically a warehouse. Oh, what? Since you were able to fall asleep with people watching, can I come over tonight and just kind of watch you sleep? It would be an honor, sir. All right. I'll go for it. See you tonight. Here's one more text message that I received is how you say it. One more text message that I received. We're at 651-989-9393. That's our Luther Bloomington Kia text line. A lot of folks texting in about their CPAP machines and such. I've never heard this type of story before. I'm going to go along with it. One dude said that his CPAP machine was all squirrely and it was pumping too much air into his body. So then when he'd wake up in the morning, he would just fart and burp nonstop. What? That'd be a good prank to pull on someone. He believes that the machine was pumping him full of air and then when he would come to, he was just a gas factory. That sounds terrible. He wants to know if I want his old CPAP machine. He doesn't want it anymore. It made him fart. Yeah, I'd never heard that side effect. Retired Army mechanic Jesus said his wife says that's how she's going to take him out. She's going to kink the tube or wrap it around his neck while he's asleep. I love her. That does seem like something you'd threaten your husband with. Yeah. I told you to take out the trash, A-hole. This is your fault. Hey, lost my ish Jesus. Then this is what he does to make a living. He said I started my injection molding career 15 years ago making all the components for CPAP machines. Oh really? That's how he makes his damn living. Oh, all this talk about sleep and this and that, it reminds me of my favorite Stephen Wright joke. Stephen Wright, he said, I've been taking Lamar's classes. Nobody's having a baby, I'm just having trouble breathing. He's got to do that. Yoga too, don't they, Ashley? Yeah. Yoga breaths. That helps, yep. You got yoga breath? Yeah, I've smelled it on her before. Yeah, she chews on the yoga mats and you can tell. Those would be nice to chew on it, but. Are you a yoga mat chewer? Let's start up the stupid news for Pete's sake. Yeah, we need to stop talking about sleep. I don't think I've ever yawned to this much in a morning. I told Nick today when he got in that I was having a lot of long blinks to this one of those days. A few people have texted and said knock it off, I'm starting to fall asleep here. Sleep. Clean. Everything clean. This poor bastard right here, he effed up, Bobby is the guy's name. He goes by the handle of Bobby. He's a cocaine dealer, don't you know? He lives in and sells cocaine in the worst state that our country has to offer. Anyways, last Friday the police were closing in on Bobby. They were watching him, recording him on video and the whole works. They had planned a full on raid to close down Bobby's cocaine selling business. And here's where Bobby was made to look like a total jack hole. When the cops pounced, they were at Bobby House. When the cops pounced, when they rushed in to bust Bobby's operation wide open, poor Bobby took a bag of that booger sugar right off the dome. A big bag of coke slapped him upside the head. The video, I watched the video, it's kind of fun. It's from afar, I think they were in a helicopter when they were. Yeah, it's like a drone shot. They were really sending in the whole works to bust Bobby's operation. Hilariously, what happened was Bobby had just gotten done selling a bag of dope to some jabroni called Charlie. Charlie was in a motor vehicle there on the sidewalk, just like you see in the movies. They're not on the sidewalk, but on the side of the road. Bobby had just gotten done selling a bag of dope to Charlie in his motor vehicle. And when Charlie saw the cops running up on the scene, Charlie was all like, ah, the cops! And he tossed the dope back to Bobby and the bag smacked him across the skull. I saw a frustrated patron at a McDonald's return some change to the poor attendant there by throwing it right at his face. He got hailed on. Oh, it looked like it hurt. He got one in the eye. I can't even imagine the pain. It's always the eyes. So Bobby was arrested. Charlie was arrested. And so was some other limp dick who was standing around as part of this cocaine deal. Cripes, Bobby's place was full of all kinds of shady items. Dope. Piles of cash. Stolen guns. Sweet. So long, suckers. That's what you expect from a drug dealer. It's some dogs running around. You see how much of the video you watched? Not much. Towards the end, one of the dogs was having the time of his life going after his handcuff buddy there. It was pretty funny. He thought, oh, this is a new game. Let's play. The dogs were having a good time. One specifically thought this is awesome. Do you guys know a cocaine dealer? I don't think I've ever met a... I've met certainly pot dealers. Yeah. I know some people and they definitely look like they sell cocaine. Oh, is that right? Yeah, actually, one of the... kind of cool. The guy was exactly what you... or what I'd always picture from the movie is he was super clean-cut, wore nice fancy clothes. He was... He's a cool dude. I was like, dang, I want to sell coke. Did he ever say anything like this? Did he ever say, you want to play? Okay. Did he ever say anything like that before? No. If he did, it would come off super cool. Like it just looked... it would be natural. Did he say this? Did he say, Gina? Don't recall that. No. This dog does look super geeked, by the way, Josh. Yeah. Having the time of his life. He's so happy. He's like, haha, what about you? Yay. I love the arrest game. Box tossing Jesus. He's got a cocaine guy. I knew a cocaine dealer in high school. I'd be terrified to sell drugs nowadays or anytime, really, because of like... I don't want to get mixed up in a cartel. And then my head's on a pike somewhere. It's like somewhere. We don't need you getting mixed up with the friggin' cartel. No, we don't. In high school, there was a guy in my neighborhood who dealt some booger sugar to the kids. And one time, we went to one of his house parties. That was not my scene. No, I bet not. That was not my scene. I thought it would be my scene. Not that I would sit down and do blow. Hell no. I was absolutely decided immediately. Not anything I would be interested in. But I thought it would be kind of cool and exciting to go to a cocaine dealer's house party. And so we did. It was just disgusting. The people were disgusting. It was just, God help us. It was not my vibe. I've seen like both ends of the spectrum. Like that really cool guy I was telling you about. And then somebody who lived in a trap house and had the creepiest people I've ever seen in my whole entire life there. I remember it was one of my girlfriends, and she's not my friend anymore, and this has something to do with it. Like wanted to get drugs. So I was like, I guess I'll come with. I mean, your car. What else are we gonna do? And I called somebody else to come and pick me up because I was like, I do not want to be here. Like I, these people are looking at me weird. I'm uncomfortable. I need to get out of here ASAP. I've only seen it once and there was a couple, shoot, this is 1999 or 2000. We worked with a couple of women who were really into it. And I don't think, I'm convinced actually, that they liked it just because, you know, I'm a drug user who enjoys cocaine. I think they wanted to appear cool. Like they made a whole, they wanted everybody to know they did it. They had like, you know, like a fancy compact with the mirror on it and they're showing off using $100 bills. Oh yeah. And they were very sex in the city types. Oh God, yes. They kind of had that air about them. They were always dressed fancy and I really think it was only just to appear cool. Oh, plenty of people, plenty of people think of cocaine as a status symbol. That's how they definitely came across these. I had some friends of mine bring cocaine to my house for a house party and I flipped out. Oh yeah, absolutely. I flipped out because this is when my brother and I lived together with the old man. Old man was an over the road truck driver. So he's gone five days a week. My brother and I just blew the doors off the joint at every turn. But the problem was, you know, we were 19, 20 years old and the cops were at our house constantly and they were, their patience was thin dealing with my brother and I and these loud ass parties where there was always a hellacious fist fight and the cops would have to come and break up the fight and take all our beer and they were tired of us. And looking back now, I totally understand. So it got to a point where I was getting more and more touchy over everyone's behavior at our house parties. Settle down because the cops are going to come back and they've warned us they're done playing around with us. So I kind of became a little bit of an a-hole as a party host because I wanted everyone just to calm the F down. Well, I walk into the bathroom, the only bathroom in the house and three of my buddies are snorting blow off the frigging sink and I flipped out. And I said, you friggin three jag-offs know how often the cops walk into this sum, bitch. You think I want cocaine on the frigging property? Oh, I flipped out, threw them all three of them out on their ass. And there were three of my, there were three of my best buddies. We got over it after a day or two. They apologized. I apologized. But I just, not my style, never took an interest, didn't want it around me. Good thing you never did with your heart problem. Oh, I would have been. They started at such a young age. I would have been dead. I would have been dead. Yeah. My little, my little weakened black heart couldn't have handled that. Oh, sure. What do we got here, Josh? Another full on mid-flight adult pant wedding that had people thinking they were going to die terribly in an airplane crash. Their maniac tried pulling open the emergency door when the airplane was screaming across the sky at 30,000 feet. Let me see here. Where were these idiots going again? They called it an indigo flight going from a place called Bengaluru. Have you been to Bengaluru? I'm going at the end of April. As a matter of fact, it'll be a fun. Oh, it's lovely that time of year. You'll have a blast. Yeah, fun trip for the family. Who's your favorite all time Bengaluru? Would it be Anthony Munoz? Who's the skinny guy who calls Chris Collinsworth? Is he your favorite all time Bengaluru? I do like the Chris Collinsworth coming to the screen. The slide? The slide, yeah. Does he still do that? I think he stopped doing it and he brought it back once and people loved it. I think he just kind of does it every now and again and gets the internet all riled up. He does what? He does. Let's say, okay, you can't see me right now, right? I can't see you. No. So I'll come on the screen like this. When he comes on television, he slides onto the... He used to. He kind of roll onto the scene. Boomerasaias in any way. This airplane ride was going from a place called Bengaluru to a town called Varanasi. I don't know why I included this information because it does not matter. On this plane ride, a passenger called Muhammad. They say just 15 minutes after they took off into the sky, Muhammad starts playing around with the emergency door. And the flight crew told them to sit the F down. And he did. They warned Muhammad. They said if you start monkeying with that emergency door again, we're going to kick your ass. And in the moment, at least, Muhammad listened. And he sat his narrow ass down. But then right before the airplane was all set to land, they traveled for two and a half hours. Everyone forgot about Muhammad. Right when the airplane was all set to land, they were only 500 feet off the ground. That's when Muhammad shot up out of his chair and started dry humping that damn emergency door again. He tried like hell to crack it open. With all that nonsense going on, the pilot upped it, aborted the landing attempt. And now people are freaking the hell out, of course. I mean, you'd have to knock the guy out, right? Yes. I mean, I've heard it's impossible. You can't open it. Just in case. It's the one time he gets the door open. This guy's not going to quit. Right. And it sounds like, Josh, it says here while the airplane was spinning around now to make another approach at that landing strip, the flight crew punched Muhammad's lights out. Yeah. They should. I would have to get, I would, I would get involved. I'm not going to do much, but I would feel the need to because I would feel like such a life or death situation. I'll sing about my favorite Bengaluru. Probably Susanna Hoffs. Oh, she's the only one I could name. Yeah. It's the only one I could name too. Yeah. They had that big hit single. Everyone remembers in the 80s, the Bengaluru's. They were all like walk like an Egyptian. Manic Monday. Oh, she's so gorgeous. Looking out for that manic month. They had another song called, that was it the deeper shade of gray, the shades of winter. Tell me, Josh. Hazy shade of wind. That was the Bengaluru's. Yeah. Hazy shade of gray or winter. Winter. Yeah, it was winter. Close your eyes. Give me your hand, I think. Anyway, what? Army mechanic or I'm sorry, aircraft mechanic here, this text says. You can open an airbus entry door when the cabin is pressurized. I don't know what any of that means. Oh. What? Is that just like the door? Like you can open the door once you're up there? I know you can in the movies, but I've always heard in real life, like we talked earlier, it doesn't work. Well, I'm going to trust an aircraft mechanic. Well, I'm just going to try it myself next time I take a flight. I got to tell you, if as much as I love you, I'd have to try and knock you out. As soon as they touch this airplane down, the flight crew turn Mohammed over to the cops. Then the big blown up airport cops sat him down and interrogated stupid Mohammed. He said he didn't know why he acted the way that he did. In fact, he had no control over what he was doing because he was quote, possessed by a ghost. Oh, okay. Yeah, you got to lead with that. People will understand. But will likely never be allowed to fly on an airplane ever again. He's possessed by a ghost. I mean, that holds up in the court of law. Yeah, ghost court. Yeah. Do you think there'll ever be a time where you have to take like a psych test to get on a plane? I mean, in the last several years, it seems these poor flight attendants and cabin crew aren't just dealing with total nightmares. Maybe you should have to take a psych test just to be a part of society. Before you can leave the house? Yes. You know what? Maybe someone will come up with some brilliant fast acting psych test that can look through your eye sockets into your brain or something. I mean, look at some of the medical advancements the last number of years. You'd think that sometime before we're dead, someone will come up with a machine that you look into and it will tell you whether you're nuts or not. Maybe we will see that day. That'd be great. You get on an airplane to walk out your front door like Ashley was saying, looking to have the ability to walk out your front door, look around and know that everyone around you is stable. Yeah, they all have earned their earned it. They've earned the right to walk around in public. We might see that. We were just jaw jacking a day or two ago about how these damn days, if you eff around too much, you can get yourself a DWI while riding or driving anything. Anything a scooter. Here's a bag of garbage in Kentucky who got pinched for being too drunk to ride a horse. This dude was just blasted on horseback. And later he found himself vomiting in his little jail cell toilet. 48 years old, this effing guy, Jorge. He goes by the outstanding first name of Jorge. The local cops in town had fun with this one. They even went ahead and charged Jorge with a GWI galloping under the influence. Nice. Huh? GWI, Ashley. Yeah. Galloping. Ashley, sorry. It rhymes with DWI. Here's what happened. The cops saw Jorge come wandering out the front door of his neighborhood liquor store and they could see that he was just hammered, just a drunken, disgusting mess. He could barely stay on his feet. The cops then watched Jorge pour his sad carcass up onto the back of a horse. Surprised he could accomplish that, but he did. They say before too long, Jorge was more or less out cold on the back of that horse as they clippity clopped down the sidewalk. He was folded completely in half. Like you see in the westerns when the guy takes a gut shot on horseback and he spends the rest of the ride just buckled over. Jorge was folded completely. So the cops thought they better pull the horse over before Jorge came off the top of the river and cracked his stupid head open. Once the police woke Jorge up, setting up their on horseback, they said they couldn't make out a word he was saying. He definitely looked hammered. Woo wee. Yeah. I mean, he kind of looks like the type of guy where even sober he'd look hammered. Yeah. Yeah. They say he looked like garbage. He smelled worse than the horse. He had a bag of hooch tied to the saddle. And he was arrested for operating a non-motor vehicle under the influence of intoxicants. It's kind of weird. I don't know what the cops did with Jorge's big beautiful mount. Um, maybe they took it off to the glue factory. Weird. Yeah, that's weird. I mean, if you're in the middle of 35W or something, I could see getting in some trouble, but... Yeah. As long as the horse is sober. He was clippity-clopping down the streets of, uh, it's a known town, Bowling Green, Kentucky. I think that's a pretty big town, you know. If you're in the middle of nowhere. Didn't the Bowling Green beat the Gophers once in a major upset? I was that bowling? I thought, I can't remember. There was something that I remember Randy Shaver was furious about. What sport are we talking about? Basketball, I think. Could have been football. I know there was a ball involved. Clippity-clopping. If you're in a tiny little town, I guess if I were a cop, I wouldn't be terribly concerned, but you know, he could steer that horse into traffic and he could get that horse to gallop over a couple of babies and strollers. Like I said, he could fall off the damn thing and break his neck. Jorge seems like a decent enough guy. He'll get right. I think Jorge will figure it out. Seems like a knock it off type of thing. Yeah. But you know, maybe there's some situations I'm not thinking about. Like a bike too, same deal. As long as you're on the sidewalk, drunk, or wherever you're supposed to ride a bike. I was really troubled when I found out that a cop could hand you a D-Dub on your friggin' bicycle because I was a big time drunk bicycle rider at the time. Because I'd imagine you thought I'm being responsible. Yes, exactly. I'm not driving. It's definitely better than driving. Yeah. I understand the bike thinks like, how are you going to hurt somebody else with that? Do you hurt yourself? Who cares that's on you? Like I just said, you could drunkenly ride your bike into traffic. I mean, there's plenty of ways you could hurt someone else drunk on a bicycle. I just, I'm just saying, 10, 12, 15 years ago when I heard this, I was big on taking my bicycle to the neighborhood bar, getting destroyed, and then coming back home. It troubled me. But I get it. I get it. You can ride down a sidewalk, you're cut into traffic. My carcass goes through the windshield and kills a two-year-old. You know, I get it. Now I get my balls busted about the electric bicycle because it's got a motor on it. I can see people getting upset about that. That would make more sense to me. But yeah, a pedal bike? I mean, how fast is a drunk pedaling? I bet you were not setting any Lance Armstrong records. I'm sorry, what was the question? When I said, I bet you weren't setting any records on that bike. You're not going to, if you biked into somebody, they weren't going to be damaged. Oh, I go pretty fast on my bicycle. On your e-bike or your pedal bike? Well, my pedal bike, yeah, not a sin. You're drunk. That's what I'm saying. That seems like they should just tell you go home. Now I'm confused because somebody said that they've worked out for 10 years and you cannot get a DWI on a bike. I've heard you can. I don't understand. We don't know all the rules, but I've heard you can. If you're in bad enough shape. Well, we've got the troopers coming in tomorrow. Yeah, we'll ask. Perfect timing. Yeah, we'll ask them tomorrow. Sports on the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. Oh, that got CB Buckner and he is down. Yeah, I got the correct shot. Look out. Yikes. Immediately the Brewers trainer Lee Myers is out to check on CB Buckner. That was a direct shot right off his mask and those kind of be surprised if he continued and it looks like he's not. That was a direct shot. He went down. Listen to this. That's sorry some bitch take a stiff one to the brain pan there or what? Goodness. He sure looked dazed after that. Big League umpire CB Buckner was behind the plate yesterday for the raised Brewers game in Wisconsin. He took a screaming foul tip right between the eyes. Yes, he's wearing a mask, but when that baseball hits you square at that velocity. Oh, I find it funny that he's like, listen to this. Yeah, it was so loud though. How many reading levels do you think he got knocked down with that two grades? Two grades. That's on 93X.com too. If you want to see it, he's going through picture books now. He's got to work his way back. That pitch came in at 100 miles an hour and hit him right in the bean and he left the ball game. He did. He went ahead and left the... I wonder if that sucks for the backup ump that has to go out there. They're just kind of trying to enjoy their day and all of a sudden they got to go into work. Well, you know, he's probably sitting in the back, you know, having a hot dog and then all of a sudden, oh God, I got to do... Don't they move a guy in from third? Oh, is that what they do? I think they remove somebody from the infield or outfield. Okay. I could be wrong. That makes more sense than just having a couple extra umps on hand. If you are sitting back there having a cigarette and a donut, yeah, that probably blows, but I think they move a sum bitch over from the... Ah, boy, that Twins game last night was miserable in every way. We can get into the details on that later. Randy Shaver will be joining us in about a half hour. We can talk about that Twins game. It was just depressing to watch for a lot of reasons. Golden Gofer, a dude's basketball club got beaten last night, so I think that's it. Timberwolves at Detroit, six o'clock. Pigs Canuck, seven o'clock. Randy Shaver, half hour from now. Till then, stay around for Josh's news report. Half-assed morning show. 93X. Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there. Wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie. I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating and air conditioning and I really think you should too. Right now it's HVAC mania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tuneup, normally $148. And no, it's never too late to show your furnace of love. And if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12, now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. Go to StandardHeating.com and mention 93X. Standard heating and air conditioning. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Use of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialke Law today, 763-571-2410 or go to BialkeLaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com and it spells relief for you. Ladies and gentlemen, lights out, Sean Merriven. I want to be the biggest and the best when I do. And so whatever it takes, I'll get it done in business and everything else. All I do is know how to fight and earn what I want. My man, Malik Ass. What actor, comedian would you want to collaborate with? Me, Jamie Foxley, Kevin Hart in a movie. We said it on Vernon Davis podcast then. So we'll circle back and be like, yep, it's going to clear. Next roll with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. 93X half-assed morning show. Nice. Nice. Nice. 93X. Nice. And here we go. 10, 9, 8, 7, RS-25 engines. 8, 4, 3, 2, 1, booster ignition. And lift off. The crew of Artemis 2 now bound for the moon. Humanity's next great voyage begins. The Artemis 2 mission successfully launched yesterday, marking the first crewed mission to approach the moon since Apollo 17 in 1972. So cool. As the spacecraft soared into the Florida sky and settled into orbit. Over the next, that is, 10 days, Artemis is set to push deeper into space heading toward the moon, though this time the crew won't be landing. Instead, they'll loop around that sucker, given the four-person crew a rare opportunity to witness what could become the most detailed view ever recorded of the moon's dark side as they journey into deep space. At its most distant point, the spacecraft will travel about 230,000 miles from Earth, taking the crew on what may be humanity's furthest voyage yet. If everything goes according to plan, NASA aims to follow up with one or possibly two moon landing missions in 2028. No bucks. So awesome. No Buck Rogers. Did you on American bastards ever get around to seeing the right stuff or not? I've been press, I've been pressing this on you for years. No. What a damn shame. I can't imagine getting to like the other side of the moon and just having like no contact with Earth. That's absolutely terrifying. Yeah, they seem pretty pumped about it. Maybe they just want some peace and quiet. You know, some of them are like, I just can't deal with folks anymore. I got to get off the planet. How long are they up there? 10 days, I believe. 10 days. Friday they're back? That's a lot of pooping in your hand and throwing it out the window. They've got like a phone booth they poop in or something like that. Throw it out the window. They got a booth? Yeah, I thought there was like a phone booth. I read something about that. They have like a sophisticated way to use the crapper now. Yeah. But could you imagine those for your buddies like, hey, do you want to go to the ball game? I'm actually going to be on the moon, but maybe next week if they got a homestand. Yeah, I know. That is crazy to think that it's just like 10 days. A car repossessed in Detroit last week came fully loaded, tinted windows, panoramic moonroof, homelink mirror, and a certified pre-owned toddler package. Police say a two-year-old was found safe after being inside the vehicle when it was taken last Friday. If those windows weren't as dark as they were, he would have noticed that there was a child in that vehicle. What? Are you trying to blame the dude for having tint or the lady? Well, they're explaining what happened more than that. That's ridiculous. The driver said he did check the car before towing it, but didn't see the child. The windows were heavily tinted, and the toddler was covered with a blankie. The former president of the Michigan Association of Repossession Agency said the driver followed proper procedure and completed all required checks. That's the voice you heard. Once notified, the driver immediately returned, and the kid was safely reunited with their mother. In a separate incident last month, another child, just 13 months old, was found alive in a locked vehicle in an impound lot in suburban Detroit two days after it had been towed. Two days. Oh, my god. That kid was probably so hungry. And that diaper was probably so gross. Oh, no. Diaper. Two in the same area. That's crazy. They need to come up with a different situation to double check. A car stolen in Minneapolis this week came with all the latest features, a touchscreen entertainment system, climate-controlled seats, remote start, and unexpectedly, a brand new baby. Around 8, 10 PM Tuesday, someone helped themselves to someone else's vehicle from Plymouth Academy, not realizing it came with a free three-month-old inside. The child and the car were missing for about an hour after the vehicle was stolen from the North Minneapolis daycare parking lot. Law enforcement mobilized police Hennepin County Sheriff's deputies and Minnesota State Troopers to join that search, along with the Minneapolis Fire Department and city traffic agents. How long do you have to have a baby in your possession before it becomes officially yours? I think like 14 hours. Or maybe it's three times the baby's eight. I'm not really sure. Yeah, it was kind of confusing. I want to sign the paperwork, and sometimes I can take a while. I'm on to something there, though. I know there's a law in there somewhere. I think if you buy the car and the baby's in there. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah, because it's assumed you. It's like if you sell a house, if it's attached to the home, it's yours. MPD says an alert was sent to agencies statewide within 15 minutes. And officials began preparing an Amber Alert with the BCA. Luckily, they never had to use it because they found the kid. Investigators used security cameras, license plate readers, drones, and a coordinated grid to track down the vehicle. Whose baby was that? It sounds like a parent at the daycare picking up maybe another kid. Around 9 20 PM, officers located at about two blocks north of that daycare. The infant still inside, unharmed, and safely reunited with the kid's mom. The person responsible was no longer at the scene, as you can imagine. And unfortunately, a search involving canine units did not lead to a suspect. As of press time yesterday, no arrests had been made so far. You know what, with both these stories, I guess now thinking about it, I hate to blame the people that were like their kid was accidentally taken, or whatever, but probably just stop leaving your kid in the car. I thought we were done doing that. That's kind of frowned upon, I've heard. Or I guess if you're a car thief, check for people. Probably a good idea, because I'd imagine they could throw some kidnapping charges on it further than before. Law enforcement communication is an important part of fighting crime when it works. Here's an example of when it didn't. An Indiana police officer spotted an unmarked pickup with a topper traveling with lights and sirens. The vehicle didn't match anything currently logged in their system, so the officer radioed dispatch to check it out. White truck on Mark Passos with red and blue and sirens. Can you advise? Well, yeah, that's for nothing on our cab. It didn't look like a police vehicle, no? Dispatch reached out to Indiana State Police and got an unexpected answer. That's how they talk in Indiana. That surprised me too. I've never noticed that. Jesus. All troopers were at a meeting they learned. And that was the moment things went sideways. If no state units were supposed to be on the road, then who exactly was driving that truck? The situation escalated quickly as officers began treating it as a possible case of someone impersonating an officer. Remember, it had the lights on it. Right. At the same time, they ran the plate. And it came back registered to the Indiana Department of Administration, a government fleet vehicle. Hey, that plate is returning to Department of Administration of Indianapolis. Instead of clearing things up, though, that raised more questions. If it was a fleet vehicle, maybe it had been stolen. Now, multiple agencies were involved, coordinating a pursuit along Indiana 39. But what the pursuing officers didn't know, what no one had connected yet, was that inside that truck was Trooper Rick Stockdale, an Indiana State Police bomb technician, responding to reports of a bomb. Whoops. As units closed in, Stockdale keyed his mic and called his own dispatch, asking what was going on. He noticed squads were catching up to him and running hot. Officers still operating on incomplete information, deployed stop sticks, shredding the truck's front tires, and forcing it to stop. Interlace your fingers on the back of your head. On the back of your head. You can move, man. I'm not. I'm the State Police officer, bomb squad, going to a call. We've already made contact with ISP, and they said no one was supposed to be doing anything. Jesus, they need a little better communication over there. Yeah, they said they were working on this. Again, he's on his way to defuse a bomb before having time to identify himself. He was ordered out at gunpoint in place in handcuffs. Officers hesitated after he said who he was and where he was going, but their information still indicated no State Police units were supposed to be operating. Then a State Police dispatcher clarified the truth over radio. Hey, I just figured out it is one of our units going to a bomb call. OMG. That OMG. Oh, I hated that. That's just tough to listen to. It was followed by questions about why the connection hadn't been made earlier. With one officer stating, I just spiked a state cop. And others explaining they believe the vehicle had been stolen. Rick, you have to get the right thing in the story. What? Lights and sirens. Yeah. They were all. We suspected it to be a stolen vehicle. Right. Our first night in Elm. That's what brought us out to you. So yeah, you heard in there. Well, hopefully it came across. I couldn't follow. No, me either. Oh, you couldn't? No. OK. Lights and sirens, I heard. Yeah, the bomb squad technician saying, hey, make sure when you write this up, everyone knows my lights were on as I'm responding to the situation. By the time Stockdale was able to continue, significant time had already been lost. He eventually arrived at the original call site, but it was roughly two hours after the suspicious device was first reported. Did the bomb go off and kill everyone? Fortunately, it was not a bomb. Oh. Police are now reviewing their communication protocols to prevent another breakdown from happening again. Yeah, that's a gang bang. Thankfully, this was just an embarrassing situation and not a deadly one. Right. And they figured it out this way. But yeah, everybody was pretty confused and frustrated. I'm a member of that there bomb squad, and I'm on my way to a call. Yeah. An Orlando woman quite literally attempted to rekindle her marriage and took the phrase a bit too literally. According to the Citrus County Sheriff's Office, 40-year-old Melissa Dunham is accused of setting fire to the home where her husband and son were living. Deputies said a 911 call reported a woman lighting the house up just after 10, 20 Monday morning. By the time crews arrived, the place was nearly fully engulfed. The fire was knocked down about an hour later, but investigators determined it wasn't an accident. She's trying to kill everybody in the house. Well, kind of. What? She has a different motive. Dunham's husband and their 18-year-old son told deputies she had just moved back in two weeks earlier to celebrate the son's birthday. During the visit, Dunham and her husband decided to try and patch things up, and she moved in. That's adorable. Which in hindsight turned out to be a bad call. The sunset argument started immediately and didn't stop. Fights between Dunham and her husband reportedly turned frequent and physical. Objects being thrown, constant verbal abuse. Police had even been called to the home the very night before. Then the failed flames of romance spread to their rambler. Both the husband and teenage son said she yelled, now we both don't have S. When she realized the relationship was over, she wanted to burn down his possession. Well, damn. Moments later, they realized the house was on fire. Deputies later found her sitting on a nearby street with a large bottle of butane, lighter fluid in her bag. During a search, they also found meth, marijuana, and multiple syringes. Drugs made with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's usually the case, right? You could have started with meth. True. You played with us a little bit. She really wanted that relationship to work out. Obviously. Yeah, she, yeah. She reacts strongly to failed romance. That's it, I'ma lighten this pig. A bright flash lit up the St. Paul's Sky early Monday morning, and what followed was an electrical surge, which began with an attempted copper wire theft and ended with a burned out vehicle and widespread power outages. The plan to steal copper quickly backfired spectacularly so, setting off a chain reaction, which brought the fire department out shortly after midnight. What was meant to be an easy snip and grab instead turned into a high voltage lesson in why you don't mess with live infrastructure. We are surprised and we're thankful that no one was injured, whether it be bystanders, responders, or anybody unauthorized to be in those locations. A department spokesperson said the electrical surge was caused by some dopes trying to steal copper in the old Sears parking lot. The disruption triggered power line failures a few blocks away. The copper thieves didn't just fail, they managed to knock out the power, torch a vehicle, and summon half the city in the process. Whoops. According to the department, an energized power line came down on a minivan and caught fire. Excel confirmed that they did not have anybody authorized to be working in that area, and there was a manhole cover that was off at that time. As the copper theft inevitably brought out the real coppers, firefighters deployed a new technique to tackle flames amid live hazardous wires. So what we did is we, for the first time, utilized some dry chemical grenades. And they're just like they sound, they're grenades, with a safety switch. They have a pin and they operate just like a fire extinguisher would. I want one. Yeah, me too. That sounds awesome. They ended up being an impressive amount of collateral damage for a plan that was supposed to fit in the trunk. An Excel spokesperson said 400 homes and businesses were impacted. A spokesperson with St. Paul Public Works said the city is seeing an uptick in copper wire thefts this spring. What are you going to do with that fire extinguisher grenade when you get your hands on it, Josh? Maybe toss it into the john when you know the boss has taken a duke? Fire in the hole. The plan this year is. Catch your kid watching porn. You throw it into the hole. And have to find some creative uses for it. Ruin somebody's barbecue just as they get the grill going. No. Boom. Fortunately, no injuries were reported in the latest incident. Yeah, right when your bros got some perfect stakes on the grill, you launched that powder bomb in there. Nothing's charbroiled. Outhouses would be a good target. Last week, Sony announced it will raise prices across its PlayStation 5 lineup for the second time in less than a year. Oh, great. Citing mounting pressure from the global economic environment, those increases take effect today. The PS5 disk edition will climb to $650. Good lord, what are we doing? A $100 jump from last year's hike. The digital edition also will rise by $100 to $560 while the PS5 Pro, Sony's most powerful model, will see a steeper $150 increase, bringing it to a hefty $900. That is absolutely insane. What are these? God, video games are for rich people now. God, go f-yourself. Seriously. I'm so done with this crap. People like Ashley like it. It's so expensive. Yeah, we've been priced out of video games. It's a video game unit? Yep. Yeah, 900 bucks if you want the top dog there. Oh my god. Actor Pedro Pascal, likely on your aunt's hall pass list, is $51 today, and that's 93X News. Randy Shaver. I'm a half-assed morning show. All the way. That's what I had for lunch before I came to the ballpark. Hot dog? Too hot dog. Potato roll, and mayo, mayo. Smiley, you put mayo on his hot dog. How do you feel about that? Hope you have a baloney sandwich. You put mayo on it. It ain't the same meat. Hey, Randy Shaver. Good morning. Where do you go with this? John Croc likes to dip his hot dogs in mayonnaise. Okay. You all right with that? Yeah, I wouldn't do it, but sure. Well, if you're at John Croc's house for lunch and he brings you a couple of hot dogs out there. Then I'll do it. Oh yeah, you would eat it? Just polite. Yes. I suppose we were taught that when we were kids, right? You just eat whatever they gave you. Yeah, you never said anything about it. Yeah, you're from that generation. Someone's got a meal for you. You don't question it. You just fire it down and bitch about it later. I think even if I had a peanut allergy, my dad would be pissed if I said something. If I got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from somebody's parent. Just you just didn't do that. You didn't complain. I don't know, man. Yeah. Sounds a little rough to me, but John Croc likes to dip his hot dogs in mayonnaise. He's different. Always been different. That's the first time I've ever heard of that. Mayo on a hot dog. Is that common in some parts of the country? Yeah, it might have been the first time I've heard it too. I can't be sure about that, Cubby. I think we found out when my nephew was a little kid, my brother's son, there was some kind of hubbub going around that he had a peanut allergy. And I know that's a very serious thing for some people. So my brother and his wife believed that this little boy had a peanut alga. How do you say it, John? Allergy? So there was some concern there. If I have the story correct, because it was a long time ago, we found out that the kid did not have a peanut allergy when my dad gave him a nut roll. My brother came up, my dad was taking care of the little kid, my brother comes over and he sees a discarded, who made the nut roll here in town? Pearson. Yes, right. My dad saw, my brother saw a discarded Pearson's nut roll, a wrapper in the garbage, and said, who ate this? And my dad said, well, your boy did. I think they rushed them off. They found out it wasn't a problem after all. Have you heard of this mayo on pizza? Gross. I've seen people dip it in ranch. Yeah, that's common, unfortunately. At this point, I've heard of everything on a pizza. So yeah. Yeah, mayo's new to me on pizza. Pizza combinations don't really throw me anymore. Nick, you talking about the peanut butter, mayonnaise, every damn thing. You talked about the peanut allergies, remind me of a time when the metronome had a peanut free section for kids that had peanut allergies. Parents can bring their kids to a ball game. Really? And one of the back, it was FSN. I think his name was Telly Hughes. He was the kind of the sideline guy, you know, like the Audra Martin is now. And he must have got the details wrong. He was promoting it. He goes, yeah, and the peanut free zone is in section 126. Free peanuts for all the kids. He thought it was a section where, like, if you buy the ticket, that section, then you get free peanuts. You got the info wrong on that one. Yeah, that's quite a bit different, isn't it? Yeah. You guys ever sat in the family section at a ball game? No. They don't serve you beers in the family section. Dumb. Right. One of my pals learned that the hard way. Oh, did he? Can you bring, like, can mom or dad go get one for themselves if they want? I don't think you can drink any beer in the family section. I've never been there. I just know a funny story from the early days of Target Field. Me and a pal just spent the entire game in one of those bars back behind home plate, right? And here comes another friend of ours. We didn't know he was at the game. He comes walking into the bar. We said, what's going on with you? His workplace bought everyone in the warehouse tickets to the game. But what he didn't know was they were seated in the family section. And the whole ball game, he's asking people, who's D do I have to massage to get a beer around here? There's no beer vendors. It was like the fifth inning when finally someone said, we're in the family section. Dinkus, you can't get a beer. So he came down to the bar and spent the rest of the night with us down there. The family section. Keep me out of there, Randy Shaver. They don't want to hear what I have to say in the family section. Oh, yeah. You can't swear in the family section. Keep your, keep yourself. Yeah, you got to keep your pants on and everything. Keep yourself well-behaved. You should do that in every section, just so you know. Mm. Randy Shaver, I will remember that Twins game from last night. I will remember that as one of the most miserable looking television programs that I've ever watched. For sure. You know, when you had that off day, you kind of wondered, why didn't they play then if they knew the weather was going to be like it was last night? You know what I mean? So, I mean, it was pretty miserable. I mean, talk about low hanging clouds, rain, fog. Players had a hard time seeing things. All of that, all of that. It was pouring at times, but they kept at it. It looked cold and dark and foggy. It just looked like an awful terrible place to be last night. The Royals ballpark there in Kansas City. And like you mentioned, there were some ugly, unforgettable moments in the field too, in the third inning with the rain coming down. And the Twins couldn't field, and infield pop-up. It fell to the ground, allowed a runner to score. It was just ugly in every way last night. By the time it was over, the Royals had put 13 runs on the board to the Twins nine. Joe Ryan did not have a good night. No. The Royals put up seven runs in the sixth inning. 11 batters came to the plate. This is a pretty good average. The Royals went 7-4-16 with runners in scoring position. They scored eight runs with two outs. Now, look at the job done, usually. Yeah, yeah, you do those things. You're going to win a lot of games. But it was just a sad atmosphere. There's nobody in the seats. Right. We've seen some dismal games like that at Target Field in the last. How long has that place been a ballpark? 15 years now? Yeah. But that was just a depressing looking. The Twins did show some fight. They scored eight runs in the final three innings. Yep. But they'll wrap up the series with a day game today, Taj Bradley versus Cole Reagan's. We might see some of those empty stadiums at Target Field this weekend with the weather what it's supposed to be like. Oh, without a doubt. Between the weather and fans being what they are with Twins baseball right now, yes. Oh, without a doubt, there'll be a decent crowd tomorrow, I would imagine. And then after that, it's anybody's guess. Now, I'm just getting used to this ABS system. I don't know about the rest of you. Just getting used to it. Last night's game, I don't know if this sounds notable. But again, this is all a new technology. Last night's game featured 11 ABS challenges to home plate umpire Andy Fletcher's strike zone. The Twins went 8-4-9 in their challenges, including four successful challenges by just Ryan Jeffers while batting. Wow. That's a lot of jawjacking with the umpire. How many challenges do you get? I don't know. I guess I don't understand what the rule is. I haven't looked into it yet. To be totally honest with you, I don't know the rule. Obviously, you must have multiple ones unless you, maybe it's only you can keep going only if you're right. That's got to be it. Can you look it up, Dana? Yeah, I'll try to find something. And my buddy I was hanging out with over the weekend, he definitely doesn't understand it either, because he goes, what's the deal with this ABS system they're doing? Yeah, just read about it. He hadn't heard it out loud yet. He called it the ABS system. Friggin' ABS. Yeah. Who needs ABS, right? After a certain age, you're just showing off. You don't need them anymore. Really, really? We'll look it up, Randy Schaefer. We'll get to the bottom of this. I will say it doesn't take a lot of time for them to get the answer. No. That's the good thing about it. And that was my concern when they first started jawjacking about this. I pictured umpires will be staring at a video screen for four and a half minutes like we get with the National Football League, like we get with the NBA. They're very quick about it. So the limit is each team starts with two challenges. If you're right, you keep the challenge. If you're wrong, you lose it. In extra innings, teams get a reset and receive one challenge. So do with that what you will. I'll try to keep that in mind. Yeah. Ah, it was a miserable night last night. So the home openers tomorrow, they'll host the Tampa Bay Rays at Target field at three o'clock. Oh, maybe I should save some of this for tomorrow. I don't know. Wait, let's just go ahead with it. You know how they operate the breakfast on the plaza, live music, ticket giveaways. Before the game, they're gonna take their first run at that $2 beer gimmick we've been talking about. Yeah. $2 beers. See if everyone can keep it in their pants after that. Yeah. Target field. Gotta find a way to maybe tolerate the product. Absolutely. I might need something stronger than beers though. Yeah. Although the product isn't going to be that bad, it's still gonna be tough for fans, I think. Yeah, this will be a trial by fire with the $2 beer deal. See how folks behave. Target field gates open at one o'clock. Old timers will be hanging around for autographs. Rod Karoo, Tony Oliva. Wow. Ken Herbeck. I'm sorry, if I don't have a ticket to gate 29, I'm still wanna walk over there and say hello to Rod Karoo because as we all know, Rod Karoo and Tony Oh, and those guys are getting older, man. I mean, it's just every time you get a chance to see him, it's a blessing because you just never know. No, I understand completely what you're saying. Yep, yep. I mean, those are the heroes, those are the guys. How long ago now was it that Rod had, did he not have some kind of? He had a heart transplant, a heart surgery, something like that, right? Which was it? It was very serious stuff. I just thought- I think it was a heart transplant. That sounds right to me. It was a heart and kidney transplant 10 years ago. God dang. Yes. Heart and kidney transplant. Cause I actually went out to California and interviewed Rod probably about, I don't know, eight months after all that, something like that. So it was, yeah, I mean, you know, the whole story where he got the chance to meet the family of the donor and there's just a whole bunch of cool things that happened during that time for him. 10 years ago now. So Rod Karoo will be hanging around, Tony Oliva, Ken Herbeck, Dan Gladden, Kirby Puckets family. Yep. Even Pablo Lopez is gonna swing by after he gets himself a $2 beer. He said he'd stop by and talk to some folks. He's a wonderful guy, Pablo Lopez. Yep. The fabulous Armadillos will play some music for you. They've been doing the local thing here for quite a while, haven't they? Josh, were you ever a member of the fabulous Armadillos? Nope. What about the white sidewalls? No, but I bet they'd be fun to see at an amphitheater somewhere. They sound like a fun group. When I was a little, little kid, we went to Valley Fair and the white sidewalls were playing in the little Valley Fair amphitheater. I was thrilled to see the white side. What about the hoop snakes? Are they gonna be playing another local band that's been around forever, the hoop snakes? Am I missing anybody? Lamont Cranston. I'm trying to roll through. I've seen Lamont Cranston before. Trying to roll through all the long time local bands that have been around forever and ever and ever. Looks like the white sidewalls are from Wisconsin. Oh, I thought they were a Minnesota act. They look like, I mean, they look exactly as I pictured them. Not the first time, right, Randy Schaver, that some Wisconsin people have come over this way and made themselves part of our community without asking first. Right, right. Just kinda snuck in and they never left, yeah. What are we doing now? Oh, I think the first pitch is being handled by Olympic and Paralympic athletes from the past games we were watching a couple months ago. National Anthem duties will be handled by the folks from the Children's Theater Company production of The Wizard of Oz. That's a big get. Are you being sarcastic? Yes. Oh. I thought maybe they were like nationally or internationally not. I know nothing about them. I just, you know, when you get the kids out there, sometimes it can be a little bit of a struggle. I'll bet they're pretty. Yeah, I should, if they're performing in a play, I'm sure they're very talented. People are texting in on long time local bands, Johnny Holm, Hairball. Oh, sure. Johnny Holm. Boogie Wonderlands. Boogie Wonderlands, yes. They used to play everything for a while. Jonah and the Whales. Ringsabelle. Who is your bald buddy there, Randy Shaver? G.B. Layton. G.B. Layton's been around forever. Boy, that guy can pack a place. Slave Raider. I just saw him at Medina Ballroom a week or two ago. Slave Raider. G.B. Layton could pack them in. Oh yeah, my brother used to go to, it was like somebody who follows fish. He'd go to every G.B. Layton show for a few years. Absolutely loved the guy. I'll tell you who I love to watch. Well, there's a few that come to mind. Riff Raff was a terrific local hard rock cover band for many years. Touched. Touched. Those guys were outstanding. No kidding. Slow children. Yep. I know I'm missing somebody. Mick Sterling and the Stud Brothers. Hell yeah, this is fun. Gemini absolutely saw Gemini over and over and over and over again. Loved those guys. The Rockin' Hollywoods. The Gear Daddies. Josh, back to tomorrow's twins home opener. I don't see anything in here about a spine, tingling, fighter jet type flyover thing. I thought they were gonna do something like that for sure. I'm just saying, I don't see anything in front of me. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe a weather thing or something. I sure hope they do. Tomorrow there'll be more information. I've gone to plenty of air shows, but I've never been to a game where they've done it. I bet that's awesome. You've never been to a, really? No. A ball game. Wow. Never. It makes you drop to a knee and cry your eyes out. Oh, I can't even, I mean, on television it does. Maybe it's better off you're not in public when that happens. I know it's nerdy, but just the timing of it all. It's incredible at those pilots. Think about that. How do they do that? And aren't they leaving from like St. Cloud or Duluth or something? I mean, it's incredible what they're able to do. They're in Calgary like 10 minutes before the, absolutely awesome. This comes spraying across the sky and it's always wonderful. You guys remember my GB Layton story? Randy Shaver, do you remember this? I don't know. You were promoting them. They were gonna be appearing at one of your charity events. Okay. GB Layton. And just to be a dick that day on the air, I went off and I was like, I'm so tired of that friggin' act. You see them everywhere. Jesus, everywhere you turn, GB Layton. Tired of it. And you were like, well, come on, man. They're playing my charity show. Take it easy. And I said, I don't care. I'm tired of them. GB Layton, kiss my ass. Garbage, right? I just decided to play the heel, which I enjoy. That night I had a bar gig, walked into the bar. What band am I working with that night? No. The Wu-Tang Clan? It was good guess. Yeah. But it was not the Wu-Tang Clan. It was GB Layton. Did they, had they heard about it? Yes. Same night. You deserve that. Same night. Oh, the luck. As soon as I walk in, I said, F me. On the day that I was running my yapper, just being a dick, just to be a dick, sure as hell, little bald guy walks up to me, says, Nick from the 93X show, I said, yeah. I said, let me guess, you're freaking GB Layton. And he said, yes. And he totally got the joke. And we had a really good time talking. It was really nice to meet him. One of the nicest guys I've ever met. He is. He's great. In the business. So if anyone knows that guy, tell GB, we said hello here from the, my damn Josh. Are you looking at your text machine? Yeah. Our listeners get out there and watch local rock bands. They sure do. They know everybody. Ipso facto, I remember that. I don't know if I ever saw. I know the name. I guess I didn't know they're from Minnesota. Touch lead singer is an old high school friend of mine, says one of our listeners, Mark Westland. I know Mark. I used to work with him a lot, doing just exactly what we were talking about. Bargiggan with touched and terrific guy. And I mean, wildly talented though. I mean, that's the thing that a lot of folks don't understand. We say the same thing about local wrestling. These people are so frigging talented. You think, oh, it's a local act. Oh, it's a local cover band. And in some cases, you're right. But in a lot of cases, these are some really talented people. They're a blast to watch. Oh, Mango Jam. I saw those guys a few times back in the day. I forgot about Mango Jam. Total flashbacks to hanging out in Uptown in the mid 90s. Oh, yeah. I forgot about them. So there was like an 80s group that they were a lot of fun. They did a lot of 80s covers. It was like, pop something? Or maybe somebody can help me out with that. I'm sorry? Sugar? I can't remember what they were called. I saw them at Bogarts a few times. Very, very good. They did a lot of, well, all 80s covers. I think pop sugar sounds right. Is that what it was? I don't know. Word up to all you folks. We've had some great times over the years. Oh, god. Yeah, bringing me back these texts. Weird, Randy Schaver, how a complete game in Major League Baseball can become front page news these days. Miami Marlin starting pitcher Sandy Alcantara through the first and possibly only complete game of the big league season yesterday. First of the season and it makes front page news. Well, I'm considering all the injuries that that guy has had over his career lately. That's actually a pretty big deal. The fact only through 93 pitches this early in the season for a complete game, that's pretty impressive. So that's why you threw the complete game, because if you got near 100, you would have been pulled. Well, and you faced the White Sox. Big right away. There's a big asterisk there. They were up eight to nothing after the third inning. 10-nothing was your final. OK, so it's more personal that it's a big deal that Sandy Alcantara threw a complete game. OK, he didn't know he was in. He's had a lot of injury issues. All right, thanks to the brother and sisterhood, Pop Rocks. Pop Rocks. Very, very good. I wonder if they're still playing. I don't leave the house anymore, but I've seen them a few times and they were awesome. You got that right. Some guy texted in and said, local bands, Bob Dylan. We already mentioned LeMont Cranston, but we didn't mention the suburbs, Husker do. Oh, man, sure, of course. I think we're going more of non-superfamous bands. Right, yeah, we're talking more like your bar band, Uncle Chunk. Of course, I worked with Uncle Chunk 400 times over the years. Always had a good time with Jal, of course, who plays our, what do you call that thing that we do? Very talented group. Oh, speaking of music, some of that mid-90s rap rock has made its way into Major League Baseball this season. A picture for the San Diego Padres by the name of Mason Miller uses an old corn song called Blind as his walkout music when he heads out to the bump and everyone's talking about how unique this is. That's cool. And if you see the video, they should give the lighting guy a raise because it looks like a WrestleMania entrance when he comes out. Baseball? That's the new thing. It is. Closers in baseball. Closers in baseball get this grand entrance. Like Edwin Nunez got that when he was with the Mets, now with the Dodgers. This is like the big thing now. Yeah, like the lights and the video screens. It's like a rock concert. Only television wrestlers have more elaborate intros than closers in Major League Baseball. It's kind of like the playoff of that Major League, right? Where the Ricky or what's the? Vaughn. Yeah, Ricky Vaughn walks in the wild thing. Yeah, it's kind of a playoff of that. Well, the first one I remember is Mariana Rivera coming out to Metallica. Oh, yeah, for sure. Awesome. Nick, you might remember. Maybe this was a regular thing, but I was at a Wolves game maybe, shoot, eight or nine years ago. They used to play Dream Theater, Pull Me Under before. I shouldn't say used to play. They did this night, and it was really cool. All the lights go out. They start playing the riff. Really? It was awesome. For the Wolves intro. For the Wolves, yeah, it was Dream Theater. Dream Theater. Definitely not expecting that. Yeah, who was the artsy, fartsy, pottery rock dork on the roster eight or nine years ago that insisted they use Dream Theater? I wonder if it was our friend Rudy who was with the wild until recently. I wonder if it was the same person. It would make sense. Couple of our listeners are the topic of local bar bands that they've enjoyed over the years. A couple of our listeners say they really missed the Green Onion Band in TOA. They never toured together. What a shame. Green Onion Band, of course, was Josh's cover band when he was a kid. Me and my bros, we called our act TOA, which did it stand for tripping on acid? Sure, we'll go along with it. We have no idea. It didn't stand for anything. But if you thought it stood for tripping, sure, that sounds cool. I hadn't heard that old corn song in a while. Yeah, me neither. The outfits those guys wore were ridiculous. They had a look. They call this Mason Miller. They call him the Reaper. That's his nickname, the Closer for the Podraze. That's a pretty cool nickname, I guess. Corn, the band. Who the F is corn? They responded to all this on social media. Corn is very excited that this kid is using their music for a... It's about that time to try and get a handle on every big league ball club's dugout celebration gimmick or their home run celebration gimmick. Like, say, the rally sausage that we saw in the twins. The twins would molest the rally sausage in the dugout a year or so ago. I haven't, I'm not tuned into this yet. I can tell you this, the Pittsburgh Pirates have been messing around with an orange traffic cone. He's a cone. When a pirate rips a dong, that hitter gets to put on a welder's mask, and there's also an orange traffic cone involved. A pirate's player with the very 80s action movie hero name of Jake Magnum. Oh, my God, that has to be fake. Yeah, no, it's not fake. Jake Magnum explained the bit like this. He said, we've had a lot of traffic on the bases, but we haven't directly, I'll get there, we've had a lot of traffic on the bases. We just haven't directed them home. We need a traffic cone to make sure they get home. You have to direct traffic sometimes, man, he said. So that's why they have the orange traffic cone. He's a cone. Right. I haven't seen anything in the twins dugout yet, and I'm sure the easy joke is they haven't had much to celebrate yet. Or they can't afford it. That's not in the budget. I mean, Josh Bell hit a home run last night in the ninth. Was there any gimmick in the dugout? I'm guessing none of us were watching at that point. I don't think so. Right. I saw. Major League Baseball is bringing back this week in baseball. Oh, I love that show. Mel Allen. Me too. I also swore by that program as a child. Twib. Twib notes. I would be rocking back and forth in my chair until they got to the twib notes. But this is going to be a once a week thing on Twitter, which is a little disappointing. I mean, it's cool that they're still pushing this week in baseball. It'll never be the same as hearing Mel Allen's voice and seeing the highlights when I was a kid. But it's a cool idea that they're continuing on this week in baseball. Yes, it's going to be on Twitter. How about that? Mel Allen used to say. Yeah. This week in baseball. One of my favorite stories about Mel Allen, Josh, I think you'll appreciate this a lot, is smack dab in the middle of calling the World Series on the radio in 1900. I don't know. It was in the 60s. Smack dab in the middle of calling the World Series on the radio. And calling the World Series on the radio in the 60s was a huge thing. In the middle of the series, he lost his voice. It just stopped working. Here he is, a professional play-by-play man. And his voice just stops working in the middle of a game in the middle of the World Series. He was calling the games with Vin Scully. And Vin Scully just took it from there. I would love to hear that broadcast when his voice just completely stopped. And how about that? That combination, right? Yeah. Wow. Three and two count here to Billy Bombshoes. He's digging into the batter's box. And we're like, yeah, Rob. How about that? How about that? Vin Scully's over there smoking a cigarette and drinking it. But wait, it's on me now. I got to call the. You ugly bastards, you know what I'm talking about. A Georgia high school baseball team recently beat their opponent by a final, final score of 46 to nothing. What? Ouch. Just a week ago or so we were talking about, you know, what's the worst team you ever played on? What's the worst beating you ever took as a young athlete? Here's a Georgia high school baseball team that got whooped 46 to nothing. How's their football team doing? Oh, funny that you would ask that question. Oh, is that right? Yes. So this is the North Hall High School Trojans. The North Hall Trojans. They totally eviscerated the Johnson High School Knights 46 to nothing. So it says here that Johnson High School is probably getting used to being pumped by North Hall High School. Last fall, Josh, here you go. North Hall beat Johnson in football 63 to nothing. Cash, it must be tough to be a fan at that school. I bet they don't draw big much of a crowd. Someone on that godless social media posted this after learning about the 46 to nothing baseball score and already being aware of the 63 to nothing football score. They said, at some point, this becomes a hate crime. Johnson's baseball club is now 0 and 18 on the season. They've been outscored 343 to 4. Oh, gosh. Just quit at that point. Maybe you should just eliminate the sport and turn the kids on to fishing or something. I don't know. North Hall must be pretty incredible. I mean, some of the score differentials between them and everybody else, I've never seen something like that. North Hall's whooping everybody's ass, Johnson can't beat anybody. OK, back to their football team. This last fall, they went 0 and 10. They were outscored 555 to 54. What's going on in that neighborhood? Nobody's kid can play ball? Yeah, maybe not. It's not to be a football town? I don't know. That's crazy. 555 to 54. That's 10 games on the schedule, Cubby. Like you said, hate crime. Yeah, they gave up an average of more than 50 points a game. Pigs canucks tonight, Randy. Can't wait. 7 o'clock start over there in St. Paul. Pigs canucks now. The friggin canucks went out and beat the avalanche last night. 8 to 6. Everyone was calling this just a colossal, upset, wonderful game to watch. I missed it. So I know the canucks are playing on a back to back type of a situation, but they went out and beat Colorado. They put eight goals on the board against Colorado last night. So look out for that lineup, I guess. This is the return of some of those players, right? Yeah. They were part of that deal. What are we talking about? Quinn Hughes deal? Oh. So return of some of those players? Or have they already been here before? Good question. You're right. I forgot it was the canucks that the pigs made the weird Quinn deal with. That's the team they dealt with when they traded for weird Quinn Hughes. Zeve is back tonight, right? Zeve, boom. There was another guy in there, too. What was his name? Was Marco Rossi part of the deal? Marco Ross. That sounds right to me. Sounds right. Speaking of weird Hughes, the team, somebody posted online a picture of 10 or 12 of the fellas hanging out at Maynards, I think, recently. Oh, yeah. And they're all at the table. They got beers. They're having a good time. And even in that photo, Quinn Hughes just looks like he's gazing off into the distance. They were hanging out with Mark Cuban. Like, what's going on? What did they do? I didn't notice Cuban was in that. Yeah, somebody pointed it out. I was like, why is he there? Well, Mark Cuban was in town here, Cubby. I think you know the story. I hope you do. Mark Cuban was in town because he made some very generous donation to a sick kid or something like that. I didn't know he came to town for that. Yes, I read the story. I didn't realize he was in town. Oh, Dana, I was mistaken. It wasn't the Maynards picture. It was a different photo that was going around hanging out at a bar. I just wanted to clarify before people started texting in. My daughter showed me a bunch of Quinn Hughes photos just to make me feel better because I don't know how to take a picture and said, you know what? You're not alone. You should see. She's right. All these pictures, he looks completely goofy. Just out to lunch. Yeah, he seems so uncomfortable. I can appreciate that in a guy. Like he just woke up from getting the laughing gas or whatever, you know? Just disoriented. He's looking for his ride home. I like that about him. I like it too. I like it too. Something bad's going to happen with this Quinn Hughes guy. It's just that look in his eyes. I fear him. I fear he's up to no good. Timberwoh at Detroit tonight, Randy. 6 o'clock. The Detroit Pistons. Yes. Won the Central Division for the first time in nearly 20 years. It's funny. Can anyone even tell me what division the Timberwolves are in and who else is in their division? No. Because all the. I think they're in the. Midwest. Does that sound right? The Northwest. You got half of it right, Dana. It's the Northwest. Yeah, they're in the Northwest. But the reason I bring it up is all anyone pays attention to now is where you are stacked up one through 10. Right. In the conference. No one pays attention to the division anymore. Right. I believe the Wolves have a five team division. I believe it's the Wolves, Denver, Oklahoma City, Utah, and Portland. I believe that makes up. Is that the Northwest division? It is for now, yes. Right. So the Pistons won the Central Division. They hadn't done that in 20 years. They have pretty good luck with University of Minnesota guys, don't they? JB Bickerstaff is their current head coach, right? Yeah, he's done a great job. The last time they won the division, Flip Saunders was their friggin' coach. 2007 plus eight. Yeah. And you've got to give them credit. They've been doing a lot of this in the last month or so without Kate Cunningham, who's been hurt and not available. So they've been, it's kind of a mix and match of a lineup that maybe on paper you go, how are they getting that done? But you look a little bit deeper, and they've got some veteran players that have really made a big difference for them. So good team. They got a good thing going. The Detroit Pistons have a good thing going. People are still taxing in their favorite local bar band, Josh. Oh, who else we got? Do you remember the Shaw Brothers? That sounds familiar. I worked with them a couple of times. Sounds like comedians, the Shaw Brothers. Impaler. How could we have gone this long without talking about Impaler? That's ridiculous. We need to come up with that. God dang it, there's a couple of trips Shakespeare. Oh, sure. That's a band I'd always wanted to see, but I hadn't had an opportunity. Chameleon. Oh, dude, that's going way back. Friggin' Chameleon. I think they even had a couple of cracks in the early 80s. Chameleon had a big enough following here in the Twin Cities that they opened for a couple of big bands that met center. Like they opened for Billy Squire, or they opened for, I don't know, maybe Van Halen. You mentioned Gemini. And the story about those guys in sixth grade, we were trying to come up with a name for our band. And I thought Gemini, but I spelled it with a J. Like I spent all this time making a logo to show the guy. I really wanted to show him. I put a lot of thought into it. I showed it to my buddies. Like, yeah, there's already a local band called Gemini. I was devastated. I couldn't believe it. I thought this was the coolest name of all time. You had a cramp in your hand from perfectly developing this logo. I might even remember it. Johnny Clueless. Sure, I remember all of these some bitches. The Goonie Birds. Did we say them already? I don't think so. The Dweebs? That rings a bell? Dare Force. Wow, we got some. I remember Dare Force. Rising. That was early 80s stuff. Rising doesn't ring a bell, but I'm sure they were terrific. There were some sports-related April Fool's Day jokes yesterday. Tell me if you follow this one, Randy Shaver. Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert had everybody wet in their pants in Ohio by claiming that Cleveland's new WNBA team would be named the Ohio Wolverines. Do you follow the joke there, Randy? I don't. Michigan? Oh, I gotcha. Yeah, the rivalry between Michigan. That's kind of funny. Yeah. He even put up some fake pictures that their uniforms would be blue and gold. People were furious. Yeah. Folks that bought it. The rivalry there between the University of Michigan and Ohio State, he had some people stressed out over that. The new team's real name and everything will be revealed later this summer. Golden Gopher Dudes Basketball Club got beaten quite handily in that late night Royal Crown Cola Invitational Tournament. Baylor University whooped them by 19 points. So does that mean it's over? It's over. OK. Yes. There's not a double elimination round, Robin. I don't think so. I don't usually give a rat's ass about how certain sports fare in the ratings. I don't watch sports because everybody else is watching it. But if you're into that kind of thing, it says here the Dudes College Basketball Tournament is doing well as far as folks tuning in on their televisions. So far, this year tournament is the most watched since 1993. Wow. I know you won't care, but I think I can even tell you who was playing in the 1993 Final Four. It was Michigan, North Carolina, Kansas, and don't tell me. Michigan, North Carolina, Kentucky. Sounds like all the normal people. So all the usuals. Yeah, what they're impressed by, I guess, overall, folks who follow things like ratings. What they're impressed by is that this year's tournament has had such wonderful numbers despite no big time Cinderella story. They say for the second straight year, there was a lack of upsets in Cinderella stories. Yep. No team seated lower than 12th advanced beyond the first round of the tournament. And the sweet 16 consisted of what they call here only power conference teams. Yep. It's still a lot of fun to watch. There's still a lot of drama and intrigue. And you get games like you got the other night with Yukon and Duke, where Duke just completely wets the bed. And it just, that's what makes it so much fun to watch. I'm still mad I turned that game off. Oh, crazy game. I never saw it. Yeah, I didn't watch a minute of it. I just watched the highlights. What in the world were they doing? Just amazing. Oh, the Duke kids? Yes, threw the ball away. Oh, my gosh. They after the dog, Randy. Right in front of everybody. They after the dog. Austin Healy. Oh, shoot. Yeah. Conditioned response. These are more. Was that the same as Pavlov's dog? Or were they? Yes, it was. God dang, you're good. Shoot, city pages. That's all I'd be looking at. What bands were playing where back in the day? I love covering this subject. We just talked about these guys, I think yesterday. Flip, got a couple of those. Word. I enjoyed those guys. You know how I was bitching the other day about, I don't know what these young athletes are doing. Number one, they're giving themselves nicknames, which is irritating in the first place. You don't give yourself a nickname. That's what society does for you or your teammates or whatever, if specifically you're an athlete. But they're trying to claim nicknames that have already been established by legendary players. Chicago Bears quarterback Irv Williams, what the hell's his name? Caleb Williams. Caleb? Chicago Bears quarterback Kaelin Williams wants to file a trademark and call himself the Iceman. Randy, straighten him out. No, that's George Gervin. George Gervin is the freaking Iceman. Yes. Do you not know anything? Yeah, you can't have that. George Gervin was the Iceman. How old is Glawin Williams? 23? Caleb Williams. George Gervin was the Iceman when your folks were in junior high. Exactly. You cannot do that. No. Wake him up, Cubby. That is weird. So he came up with it himself. That's what I read. OK. I saw he's trying to trademark it. Come on. You're not the Iceman. George Gervin's still breathing. Even after he dies, American head charge. Oh, yeah. Remember, we judged them in a battle of the bands. Did we judge them well? We did. We voted them the winner. We did? Yes. Who were they up against? Kukku Kangaroo? No, no. Because we all know who we would have picked. That'd be a tougher. That'd be a tougher. That wouldn't be tough at all. The answer is Kukku Kangaroo. Oh, American head charge. They put on a great show. American head charge. I remember having those guys in the studio. They were smoking cigarettes. They were wearing sleeveless shirts. They had long hair. They were unwashed. They were perfect. They were perfect in every way. All right, one more little note ski here for you. Apparently, our guy, Stone Cold Steve Austin, wasn't just born to kick some bitches in the solar plexus and then dump them on that stack of dimes they call a neck. Apparently, the rattlesnake can also drive the balls off of a side by side UTV type of a vehicle. Man, he's cool. You ever been in one of those, Randy Shaber? You going darting around? Oh, you're missing out. Those are fun. I've always wanted to get one. Oh, everybody wants one, but they're so frigging expensive. Yeah, they are. And then I don't even know where to use it. People are saying, like, Minnesota, it's not great for Wisconsin's kind of where you want to go. Yeah, that was awesome. We used to, when I used to live there, we used to go on rides all the time, like Saturday, Sundays. And then they have, there's a place called the, shoot. It was called the Sandbox. I don't know if that was the legit name, but it was basically like this huge, just dirt pit full of tracks that you could take your four-wheeler or UTV, all that stuff. It was awesome. He does everything cool, Stone Cold, man. He does. Did you ever watch Straight Up Steve Austin? No. The reality show? Never saw it. Man, he's cool. What about that challenge show he had where guys would have to? Takes on America? No, it was like, it was like the rattlesnake ranch. And they would, you know, they'd be pushing huge tires. They'd have climbing huge ropes in the heat in his ranch. And it was very fun. Yeah, I didn't see that one. Never saw it, but it sounds like, also, I forgot. He's a great singer. Anyway, we can find the audio of he and Kurt Angle singing Jimmy Crack corn to Vincent Kennedy McMahon all those years ago. Remember when they had the guitars and the little cowboy hats? Oh, yeah. They were both pining for the love of Vincent Kennedy McMahon, so they were just kissing his ass. Ah. So Steve Austin recently won something called the Prospector 250. This is an off-road race that takes damn near six hours to complete. You're behind the wheel of a UTV, side by side, whatever the proper term is. He was driving, if there's folks in the listening audience who know these vehicles very well, he was driving a Kawasaki Terrix H2. And he got it done in five hours and 45 minutes. He won the race. He got into off-road racing a couple years ago. When he first started, he says he was green as grass. He says, as a matter of fact, most of the guys who knew what they were doing were driving with two feet. Hell, Austin said, I didn't find out until my third race that I was supposed to be driving with two feet. But he's into it now. He's dishing out 100% whoop ass and winning these races. It says here early in his racing career, he crashed almost immediately every time. So I guess if you're a character who's getting involved in this type of racing, don't feel bad if your first five, six races are garbage and you crash. Even the rattlesnake crashed when he first started. It looks like it'd be a learning experience to learn how to race those vehicles well. It's funny about still in cold these days and shows that it's OK to change and have some growth. He always posts photos of him having a nice glass of wine now rather than smashing together some Steve Wiser. Don't tell me that. He still makes it cool. Yeah. He's a wine drinker now? I think he still drinks beer too, but I think he appreciates the wine as well. Oh, wine always. Does he have a funny name for wine like he has for beer, Steve Wiser? Oh, that's a good question. I don't know about that. He probably came up with something. Oh, there you go, Randy Schaver. One more final, final for you tomorrow. Tomorrow's a big day. Tell me about it. My third grandchild is due tomorrow. Oh, wow. That's exciting. Congrats. Are they being induced, or is that just a big day? No. The induced date is next Tuesday. So we'll see if he shows up today or tomorrow. That's awesome. We're running. Fingers crossed. So. Got any names picked out? They're not telling us the name. Oh, that gimmick. How about the Ice Man? Ice Man. And that gimmick, by the way, Nick, is driving my wife crazy. Really? She needs to. That's not the gimmick she wants. She wants to know all the details. What are you going to name it? Middle name, everything? Have they used your name yet, Randy? Like your first name or your middle name for any kids? My grandson has the middle name Lee, which that was my dad's name. So that name has been handed down now. My middle name is Lee, too. OK. Oh, that's awesome, then. So that name has been handed down. Randall Leonardo Shaver. There you go. Lee for sure. We'll talk to you tomorrow. See you. All right, we'll be back with more of the Half Fast Morning show before you know it. Half Fast Morning Show. 93X. Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there. Wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie. I'm a wing lover and, of course, a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating the air conditioning. And I really think you should, too. Right now, it's HVAC mania. And these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tuneup, normally $148. And no, it's never too late to show your furnace of love. And if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12, now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. Go to standardheating.com and mention 93X. Standard heating and air conditioning. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints. You need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke. He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialke Law today. 763-571-2410 or go to BialkeLaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com. And it spells relief for you. This isn't your average podcast. This pot is about to be crazy. I don't even know what's going to happen. This is full send. It's just like a boy's scrap. Join the party. We threw like a spontaneous party out of nowhere. It was crazy. And we pulled off a crazy prank. Pranks, parties, and viral culture at its wildest. Just seeing the guys that you brought in and seeing their different personalities and stuff. It's been entertaining, dude. This could be the greatest content build of all time, bro. The full send podcast. Dude, let's get ready to rumble. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's do it. The Half-Ass Morning Show, 93X. Just when you thought Egan couldn't get any more unappealinged, now there's animals loose on the roadway. It's unbelievable. It is. You're dealing with the Thursday edition of the 93X Half-Ass Morning Show. How's the weather out there? Anybody know? Are we going to be able to drive out of this broken down building today, or is it a total disaster on the road? Faced on the traffic map, it seems like it's completely fine. I went and took a peek in the parking lot, and it looked like a little bit of ice on the car, but nothing major. On our way in, it wasn't no thing, but a chicken wing on a string from Burger King. Yeah, there was a lot of hubbub. Rating a little bit, and that was it. There was a lot of hubbub on the television news last night about how terrible the morning commute was going to be. Sounds like maybe we're doing all right. I think whoever made the decision to close my wife's school district is feeling a little embarrassed right now. Well, Nick and I were talking about this off here. What are they going to do, right? I mean, I would not want to be making those decisions. It seemed a little weird to me, because you hadn't heard like mass school closings or anything, but if, God forbid, an accident happens, and some people get hurt. That's a good point. You know, everybody's so litigious. Yeah, exactly. I think they expect it to be a little bit colder than it is. Yeah. I mean, it's 32 degrees. And what is freezing below 32, right? Something like that. Yeah. You're asking the wrong people about that. Do you really not know the answer to that question? What is freezing? You don't know what freezing is? No, I thought it was below 32. Ha ha ha ha. At any rate. What is it? It's 32. Thank you. OK. Yeah. Ashley made the point earlier when we talked about the weather that there's still a chance that it could be a gang bang by this afternoon. But as far as this morning goes, it looks like maybe we got lucky. We had a fun conversation earlier about the great local bar bands that we've enjoyed over the years. I think we damn near covered everybody. But I was reading our text messages. We got to mention one more, Josh. And I know you and I always have fun when we get to throw this name into the mix. Dumpster Juice. Oh, yeah. Definitely. Dumpster Juice, that's one of those band names where I know where I was when I heard it. Nick, I was at New Capay back when it was an up. Well, I think maybe it was only an up. Maybe they had more locations. But the uptown one. You were looking at guitars or something. You see a poster on the wall? No, one of the sales guys was talking about Dumpster Juice saying they were going to go see it. And obviously, that name stands out. What a great name. Dumpster Juice. Yeah. I'm going to do drink Dumpster Juice for absolutely no reason. Tell me this story. How do you get the juice out the Dumpster? It was when I worked at the sanitation department at the State Fair. I have no idea where he had a bucket of Dumpster Juice. I can't. I don't recall where he got it from. I suppose at one point or another, didn't you folks with a lift, didn't you pick up the entire Dumpster and dump it into a bigger receptacle? No, we would grab the trash bags out of the trash cans like around the fair and then throw them in the back of the trunk. So I'm sure he just poured one of whatever was on the bottom of one of those trash cans in a bucket. What did he get in return? Nothing. He was just one of the younger ones there. And he wanted the older dudes to think he was cool. And everybody was like, hey, don't do that. You're going to get sick. And then he did it. And we were like, yeah, that happened, I guess. Anyway. That's terrible. And for nothing. Nothing. Yet it had to be a pretty big prize to drink some dumpster juice. $1 million. I wouldn't do it for any less than $1 million. Poor kid. He was probably going through wanting to be accepted by the cool kids and thinking, oh, this will do it. And they just looked at him like he's an idiot. Some people are texting in saying, dumpster juice still plays live shows. I'd love to. Oh, that's great to hear. They played. Now, this is a little trivia question for you. They played the very first Wrestle Palooza event at First Avenue. Even before it was called Wrestle Palooza, we're talking late 90s. Before it took off in popular, now Wrestle Palooza, you can't get a ticket to that frigging thing. I think it's a two night event now, too. I think you're right. For the first few years, you could fire a cannon at those First Avenue wrestling with a live band events. And I believe dumpster juice was the first. I saw him once, somewhere's Josh, late 90s. The opening band, I wish I could remember the name of the opening band. But if my memory serves me correct, it was a four piece hard rock band. All the members of the band, Josh, came out on stage just wearing their underwears. And they had an empty beer pitcher at the front of the stage. And all of us are milling around, watching them, but also jaw jacking a little bit. And it caught my attention that they had this empty beer pitcher at the front of the stage. And I wasn't sure what it was for. Eventually, the lead singer of this unknown band got on the microphone and announced that the beer pitcher was at the front of the stage, in case anyone in the crowd wanted to donate to them some quote, taco money. They said that empty pitcher there, that's for their taco money if anybody wants to throw some. They got a cool logo. I'm on their Facebook page right now. Dumpster juice? Yeah. Yeah, we should go see them. Is it possible it's the same four or five guys from 30 years ago? It looks like it. Good for them. Oh, my damn. Josh, wasn't there a guy in the building years ago that used to piss you off to no end? Because his favorite thing to say was, thanks, Captain Obvious. Oh, I thought that was you. No, I never really. I thought there was a guy who would piss you off. No. No. But there was a guy who always said, thanks, Captain Obvious. Is that the liquor talk it or am I remembering this? I remember somebody saying it a lot. I thought we had a guy that was his favorite bit and it drove us. You know, these studies that pop up every 10 minutes, we use a lot of them for material on our radio program ski. And fairly often, we question, who came up with these studies? Why did they feel that this was a subject that needed an in-depth look? Because some of them seem so pointless. And a lot of them, too, you're like, yeah, we know. So obvious, right? It's the kind of stuff where you say, thanks, right. You read it and you say, yeah, we know. Hot people have easier time getting dates. Right. New study shows men like female boobs. And they cost money. Yeah. I'm glad you made sure you said female boobs. I'm not picky. Somebody sat down and discussed this. Scientific studies that were so frigging obvious, but yet they were still published. They still went through with all the scientific research involved and then published these studies to keep us informed, despite them being wildly obvious. For example, alcohol makes people, these are real headlines that were in newspapers and whatnot, so we would be informed. Alcohol makes people more social at parties. Yeah, is there one person that doesn't know that? There are some of those weird people, though, that like booze just makes them quiet. Yes. Those people scare me. I don't know anybody like that. I'm not going to question this headline. I'm not going to question that alcohol, generally speaking, makes people more social at parties. That is a fact. But I know a couple people, Ashley, like what you were saying. Once they hit, well, here's what it is. Once they hit a certain point, they're too drunk to talk. Yeah, to me, that's different. It is different. Like having one or two, it seems like people loosen up. Their inhibitions fade away. On a side note, I know a couple of guys who drink so damn much that eventually their motor skills fail them, and they're no longer allowed to talk. But yet they're still upright, breathing, blinking. Drinking more. Drinking more. Here's another one of these studies. Hang on to something, because this stuff is shocking. People text more when they're bored. What? I don't know. I'm actually trying to. I was thinking about this not too long ago. I should probably start texting more. Sometimes I'll look and I zero text. I don't really text. I don't reach out as much as I should. Of all the things that you worry about, Josh, I think you should leave that one off your plate. Yeah, I think you're good. What if I just said, hey, pal, thinking about you? Most people don't want that. Oh, they don't? No. Cubby? All right, then I'm going back to the way I am. Cubby, we don't want to hear that. We don't want to hear that. No, I'm kidding. Josh, I'm sure there's some people that would appreciate that. But when I get a text like that, I'm like, ugh. There's some people. I'm like, now I've got to have this whole conversation. And then I feel bad if I don't reply. Well, so, bud, thinking about you. Do you? I mean, so you, this would, OK, now I'm confusing myself. Basically, if you're bored, you don't text more then? No. OK, so this one, this one's not so outrageous, this particular headline. I would prefer to just like scroll. I don't want to disrupt anybody's day. I just don't really want to start a conversation. So yeah, I'll just scroll through my videos. Knee surgery makes it harder to walk or run. What? Hm. That sounds like an onion headline, doesn't it? Yeah. A lot of it comes off quite oniony. People eat more when the food tastes good. That's got to be a joke. Being tired hurts your overall work performance. Unless you're like insanely tired, unless you do this specific job and you are like past tired, because then you get goofy. And that's when stuff gets funny. You know, whoever these people are that had these studies, their real talent isn't in research. It's in convincing other people to do stupid things or fun stupid things. Yeah. Ashley's right, though. When I first started in this miserable line of work, I thought, well, it's 8 30 PM. I better get in bed. Right? Yeah. I got to get up so early. And I tried it twice, maybe. And I couldn't sleep. That's just too early to go to bed. What are your nuts or something? Yeah. And for those two nights, I'm missing out on the ball games. I like to watch the ball games to the bitter end. So I only tried it a couple of times. And then I learned the later I went to sleep, the less sleep I got, yeah, you come in feeling kind of high, feeling kind of drunk, feeling giddy. Now, there's a point where you crash and it's miserable. But a lack of sleep has never really hurt anyone's on-air performance. Because like you said, you get silly. Things are more fun than they seem to be. I tried out my hey pal, just thinking about you text down a friend here. And he got back to me and said, I don't appreciate your tone. Oh my damn. You were right, Ashley. It backfired the first one I sent. All right, more very obvious scientific studies that were actually published. People prefer attractive partners. Hmm. Yeah, that's pretty good. Well, I don't know. My wife doesn't, apparently. You know, that's a good point. Why'd you do yourself like that? I think it's on a daily basis that Ashley just walks in and the first thing she says is, I don't get it. What is she doing? I text her every day. What's wrong with you? I'm not trying to be rude. I just can't figure it out. Ashley's trying to set my wife up with her single friends. This is one of my favorite slogans. And the first time I met your wife, Dana, I think I turned to Cubby and I said, now, here's a gal who's not afraid to eff ugly. Yeah, the fact that I got married twice, too. That's a modern day miracle. True, dude, both of them are so hot. Some of the, yes, and some of the speeches at your wedding were great. Like, you know, she just got tired of dating hot, cool guy. Wanted to settle down. Oh, I thought the slide show was really embarrassing. All her hot, badass ex-boyfriends. All these tough guys. She's tired of it. Not afraid to eff ugly. I love that slogan. I think it was, I don't know, 20 years ago, the first time I heard it, we were talking about a mutual friend. Me and my pals were talking about a mutual friend, Donnie, how he keeps himself sexually active. He does. At least back then he did. I'm not sure how he's doing these days. But we were talking about, oh, the one night at the bar, he pulled this one out. Oh, the other night when we went up north, he took this gal home. And one dude in our circle of pals said, yep, Donnie ain't afraid to eff ugly. And it stuck with me. What are some more of these scientific bad weather ruins your mood? I don't mind bad weather. But I don't have to work outdoors anymore. People are worse at driving when distracted. Older people have more health issues. This is some wild stuff. Yeah, none of these would inspire me to click. Other than, what am I missing here? Is there some new information? Yeah. People are happier on weekends than weekdays. People lie more when there's incentive to lie. All sound like onion headlines. Yeah, it's great. Oh, you're an onion head. Man, he's been really mean to me. Lying, lying. So you texted one of your bros and said, hey, bud, thinking about you. And he said, leave me alone. He just said, I don't appreciate your tone. It's kind of weird. Yeah, well, I wouldn't phrase it just like that. But the gist is just reaching out. How you doing, pal? And then heart emoji, hug emoji, shrug shoulders emoji, eggplant emoji, of course, water spraying emoji. That's great. You send your best bro hammer a heart and a hug emoji. That's how you get it done. All right, we got a tootsie roll our way out of here. Shortly. You know, the tootsie roll. The dance? Yeah. What the hell were we doing? Well, we had a fun conversation a minute ago about ridiculous studies. I mean, the real scientists sit down. They spend a bunch of money to research this and that. And it's all very obvious stuff. And then they post the material. Or they put the material in the paper, silly stuff. Like alcohol makes you more social, things like that. Josh noted that all of those real studies came off like stories you read from The Onion, that legendary, used to be a newspaper, satirical newspaper that came up with all those brilliant fake headlines. So before we tootsie roll our way out of here, because I got my first ever yoga class today. You'll do great. Before we tootsie roll, I just I sorted through some great onion headlines. Got these people. They must have gone to Harvard or something, right? I mean, they must be just the most brilliant people. Here are a few onion headlines for you, just to create some laughs on our way out. Six-year-old didn't cause parents divorce, but didn't exactly step up to prevent it either. Ha ha ha ha. Still too early to tell if pulling chain turned off overhead fan. Oh, dude. God, that pisses me off. I just had one of those battles at my folks place a couple of weekends ago. I just put my head straight up there and stopped it myself, and then let go and see if it's going to continue. I don't care if I get hurt. It just pisses me off waiting for it so much. Dead Facebook friend from high school still has Cartman profile picture. Oh my god. That's brutal. That's a news headline on the onion. One I've always loved is, God answers prayers of paralyzed little boy. No, says God. Sorry, man. Oh my god. At least it took time to respond. Oh, jeez. So brutal. This man. This onion headline comes with a picture of three grungy looking young guys that were in big baggy shorts. And they pulled some t-shirt over their head. They don't even know what it is. They're just grungy as all hell. Headline, GarageBand actually believes there is a terra hot sound. Somebody just said to anyone. I don't know if this is on your list, but it says, hospital decides cancer sniffing leopard is more trouble than it's worth. Oh. Study, depression hits losers the hardest. Oh, man. Yeah. What else do I have here? Josh, this one's for you. Nations Huggers announce plans for you to get over here. Drug use down among uncool kids. That's as far as I got. Those are great. I love them. Back when there was a paper, we used to have, for whatever reason, there was like a newsstand here. The city pages and the onion, there was a couple of. We had it delivered here. There's a whole bunch of them over there. Yeah, I remember picking them up on campus. You know, every day I think they came out once a week. You'd always grab it. Oh, God. That's another weird thing about a former boss is we would go through some of those and sometimes read the articles on the air, and he told us not to do it anymore. Really? Yeah, he's a weird dude, as we've mentioned over and over. Everybody loves the onion. I know. Like you said, Nick, they must have gone to some sort of really smart guy school because the men and women who wrote that were a complete genius. Don't give them too much credit. It was founded in Wisconsin. It was. Those folks were not from Wisconsin. Yeah, that's a good point. People are saying they still have a paper subscription. I didn't know that. Oh, cool. I just assumed it was all online. Ah. Harlem Globetrotters keep basketball just out of reach of special needs, kid. Jesus. Maybe we're getting a little too dark now. The last few have been pretty brutal. How many of us? The dark ones are my favorite. You had to be there. Good stuff. We'll be back tomorrow at 540. At best morning show 90. Free X. Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there wherever in the world you're listening right now. We truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie. I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating the air conditioning. And I really think you should too. Right now it's HVAC mania. And these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tuneup. Normally 148 bucks. And no, it's never too late to show your furnace of love. And if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12, now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. Go to standardheating.com and mention 93X. Standard heating and air conditioning. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930.