Tank Time in Miami? Trade Puka? Who Understands Curling?
68 min
•Feb 17, 20262 months agoSummary
The hosts discuss NFL offseason moves including the Miami Dolphins' roster purge under new HC Jeff Halfley, Puka Nakua's concerning off-field behavior and potential trade value, Tyreek Hill's release and comeback prospects, and Derek Carr's conditional retirement stance. They also cover the NFL Players Association's report card ban, Super Bowl LX highlights including Scott Zolak's meltdown commentary, and various quarterback situations heading into free agency.
Insights
- Teams overpaying for head coaches with 5-year guaranteed deals creates financial handcuffs that prevent quick pivots when coaches underperform, as evidenced by the Dolphins and Jets situations
- Wide receiver extensions now command top-10 QB money ($30-40M APY), making trade decisions critical before committing massive resources to potentially volatile personalities
- The Dolphins' aggressive roster teardown signals a potential tank year despite hiring a new HC, suggesting ownership is willing to sacrifice short-term performance for long-term QB positioning
- NFL owners' suppression of player report cards via grievance victory will likely backfire through leaks and social media, while missing opportunity to address legitimate facility/culture concerns
- Bridge starter strategies (Derek Carr to Raiders) can provide stability for young QB development while allowing teams to address defensive needs with premium draft picks
Trends
NFL teams increasingly willing to absorb massive dead cap hits to reset rosters and pursue QB-centric rebuildsWide receiver market inflation creating salary cap crises; teams reconsidering long-term commitments to talented but volatile playersHead coach contract structures (5-year guarantees) now misaligned with actual NFL coaching tenure (avg 2-3 years), creating inefficient capital allocationPlayer-driven accountability mechanisms (PA report cards) gaining traction as leverage tool despite ownership resistanceBridge starter QB strategy gaining favor as alternative to high-risk rookie QB development in competitive windowsDefensive-heavy draft strategies emerging as counter to offensive-centric team building of previous eraOff-field player behavior increasingly factored into extension/trade decisions, with teams more willing to exit relationships earlyFree agency timing and injury rehab timelines becoming critical variables in veteran player valuation and fit assessment
Topics
Miami Dolphins Roster Purge and Tank StrategyPuka Nakua Trade Value and Off-Field ConcernsTyreek Hill Free Agency and Bounce-Back ProspectsNFL Head Coach Contract Structures and GuaranteesDerek Carr Bridge Starter StrategyKirk Cousins Free Agency OptionsJamar Chase Contract and Bengals Roster ConcernsMichael Penix Jr. ACL Injury and Falcons QB SituationNFL Players Association Report Card BanSuper Bowl LX Patriots-Seahawks Game AnalysisScott Zolak Commentary and Broadcast AnalysisWinter Olympics Coverage and Curling Sport AnalysisMiles Garrett and Chloe Kim RelationshipNFL Free Agency and Tampering PeriodDefensive Draft Strategy and BPA Selection
Companies
Los Angeles Rams
Discussed Puka Nakua's contract extension decision and Matthew Stafford's role in team's future direction
Miami Dolphins
Released multiple players including Tyreek Hill, Bradley Chubb, and James Daniels; pursuing potential Tua trade or re...
Kansas City Chiefs
Identified as natural landing spot for Tyreek Hill given organizational experience managing his personality
Las Vegas Raiders
Proposed as potential destination for Derek Carr as bridge starter with Clint Kubiak as offensive coordinator
Cincinnati Bengals
Discussed roster construction concerns despite investing heavily in Jamar Chase, T. Higgins, and Joe Burrow contracts
Atlanta Falcons
Analyzed Michael Penix Jr. injury recovery and potential re-signing of Kirk Cousins with Kevin Stefanski
New York Jets
Referenced as potential Derek Carr destination and discussed Aaron Glenn's job security due to guaranteed contract
New England Patriots
Analyzed Super Bowl LX loss to Seahawks and Scott Zolak's broadcast commentary throughout the game
Seattle Seahawks
Won Super Bowl LX against Patriots with dominant defensive performance
Minnesota Vikings
Identified as potential landing spot for Derek Carr or Kirk Cousins in free agency
People
Puka Nakua
LA Rams WR discussed for potential trade due to off-field behavior concerns despite elite on-field production
Tyreek Hill
Released by Dolphins; 32-year-old WR rehabbing ACL injury, potential free agent target for contenders
Jeff Halfley
New Dolphins HC hired into difficult situation with Tua's massive contract and roster teardown underway
Derek Carr
Retired QB open to returning only for Super Bowl contender; discussed as bridge starter option for Raiders
Kirk Cousins
Free agent QB acknowledging polarizing career due to 9-8/9-7 records; potential fit with Falcons or Vikings
Jamar Chase
Bengals WR publicly critical of franchise's offseason approach despite receiving largest receiver contract
Joe Burrow
Bengals QB criticized for unnecessary public statements about team's roster construction issues
Michael Penix Jr.
Falcons QB suffered third ACL injury in November; raises questions about long-term viability
Matthew Stafford
Rams QB whose future status critical to Puka Nakua extension decision and team's quarterback transition
Tua Tagovailoa
Dolphins QB with $100M+ dead cap; team prefers trade but unlikely given contract structure
Bradley Chubb
Released by Dolphins; defensive end two years removed from ACL/patella tendon/meniscus tear
James Daniels
Guard released by Dolphins after playing only 3 snaps in 2024 following 3-year, $24M contract
Woody Johnson
Jets owner reportedly spearheaded effort to ban NFL PA player report cards after poor team evaluation
Miles Garrett
Browns pass rusher dating Olympic snowboarder Chloe Kim; gave her pink car for Valentine's Day
Chloe Kim
Olympic snowboarder and girlfriend of Miles Garrett; competing in Winter Olympics in Italy
Scott Zolak
Patriots broadcaster whose Super Bowl LX commentary meltdown compiled into viral highlight reel
Sam Darnold
Seahawks QB who defeated Patriots in Super Bowl LX, defeating team that drafted him
Clint Kubiak
Offensive coordinator who worked with Derek Carr in New Orleans; potential fit for Raiders bridge starter plan
Quotes
"You trade this man for a first round pick and let someone else inherit the Antonio Brown portion of his career."
Dan Hanzus•Puka Nakua discussion
"I would prefer to drive a Lexus minivan instead of a TNC, but that's just not going to happen."
Connor Orr•Tua Tagovailoa trade discussion
"They're going to be hemmed in by the Tua situation and how they draft. But is this team in a full on tank in 26? Yes."
Dan Hanzus•Dolphins analysis
"I think if you go 9-8, 9-7, you know, you're still giving yourself that room to be criticized some."
Derek Carr•Quarterback Corner segment
"Be better. Be better. My daughter's getting married next summer. This is banned for the wedding playlist."
Scott Zolak•Super Bowl LX commentary on Sweet Caroline
Full Transcript
Hey, welcome to Heed the Call and NFL podcast. I am Dan Hanses, joined as always by the great Mark Sessler, Connor Orr as well. Of course, Justin Graver on the ones and twos. We back. We back. just one show last week but now we start to ramp things back up Ceci as we give you two shows this week next week we're back to three as the combine suddenly is upon us and right behind that the new league year and free agency and right behind that the NFL Draft yeah like any concept by the listener that we were going to take a long sojourn into the wilderness not true We're back in a big way. And it did strike me as we were off on our own little journeys last week that it's pretty clear I spend more time with the three of you than anyone else. Because there was a massive void of conversation and feedback and everything in my life. It was just an emptiness. I mean, the real, you know, 2020s thing about that, too, is like we haven't been in the same room together for months either. So, like, is it even real conversation? I mean, these are these are conversations that you're having in in modern times. I yes, I was speaking of the wilderness. I was up in Idaho first time. Love going to a state for the first time. You know, we got 50 of them here. If you're not from the states and Idaho was on the list. I went skiing for the first time in 15 years on the plane ride from L.A. to Boise. I read Connor is a Connor you're a wonderful man and a thoughtful guy and you we have a new tradition you get me a book and you sent it to me and I'm sure you do it for many people but I like to think you only do it for me you sent me a book well I can confirm that it's not just you but live in that world we'll take that out in post so this thing that you do unique to me I started reading this book on the way up to Idaho and it is steamy and I was I'm just like, I can't wait. I'm going to share it with my wife. And I just want to say, like, last year you got me the Joe DiMaggio bio, which was brilliant. We're in a totally different stratosphere with this book. And I just want to thank you for that. I'm just it's a page turner. And like one of those, like, I hope nobody's reading over my shoulder. Erotic in its nature. It gets a little it gets a little steamy. But I have you haven't finished it yet, right? No, I am. I am about a quarter through now. Yeah. Okay, so you're in the wheelhouse. So you made it through the introductory period where it's like boring characters, and then you get to the part where it's like, oh, yeah, this is really hot. And then it eventually gets into the meat of the plot, and then it just slams you right into a brick wall ending that's just going to have your jaw agape. Should we share the book? Yeah. Is it like Anais Nin or something? I'm very curious as to where we're going here. It's called The Winner by Teddy Wayne. one of my favorite like super super current contemporary like modern pieces of fiction it's it's so good yeah so I thank you for it it's great it's not like any book that I typically read and it did lead some quite to questions for my wife like wait Connor got this book for you because I let her read one excerpt that was particularly steamy in fact the beginning of the book it starts you know there's a real mother and son dynamic to it he's protecting her. He's financially supporting her. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to let I'm going to share this book with my mom. Sometimes I'll read a book and I'll be like, mom, you'll like this because she's a big reader. And then I got deeper in the book. I said, no, this one's not for mom. This is not on mom's list. I mean, in fairness, like she's off watching Heated Rivalry like this is, you know, Danny's got to have something for himself, too. Absolutely. And I thank you for that. And speaking of sexuality, how's your junk, Connor? Because another thing that happened last week is Connor did go through with the vasectomy as I understand it. Yeah, I was waiting for something from Justin's little pet keyboard there. I'm fine. It was a great process. Kudos to Dr. Seaman, real name. Unbelievable. Yeah. And it was funny. He came in. The man who stole your semen. Yeah. Yeah. Took it. It's like someone being named like coach soccer, coaching a soccer team. It's almost like his name. Every time he snips someone's nuts, like his name becomes more powerful. It's like, like one of those, like those like sci-fi things where the alien has the tubes and he's sucking the brain power out of the universe and it's all going into his brain and it keeps swelling bigger and bigger. That's how I think Dr. Seaman. is handling this and gaining power and strength. Do you think that's why he became a vasectomy doctor because of his name? A urologist, Justin? Yeah. Whatever they're called. Well, it's a wonderful question, Justin, and it's on target. That was at the office reference slash joke. Sorry. Good cultural ref, Justin. All right, back to the conversation. You feeling good? Because I remember Mark and I, I think, caught it. we caught some serious strays from the listenership for not being sensitive to the process or even questioning whether this is something a manager to have a decision, um, that he gets to make on his own. I'm not going back into those waters, Seth dog. Um, well, hold on. It's my body. I'll make the decision for myself. Um, right. You can say your anger at Mark, if he's going to stay dug in, I'm going to opt out. Like I just don't have time for that in my life. Um, but, but in this, in this case, Connor, You made this decision for yourself, for your family, and we're very happy for you. And I hope you're fully recovered. In some ways, you'll never fully recover. But again, I'm not wading into this conversation because I've already learned people have very strong feelings about how these decisions get made on the male side of things. I completely missed the brushback from the listenership on this. I steadfastly, and Connor, it is your domain to do with as you wish and to congregate with Dr. Seaman, but like never in my life would I do this because we don't know what will happen to our society. What if you need to be someone who can people a new wave of individuals? What if that were to come? Or even just by choice later in life. So it's like who's coming at me? You've never beaten the alien allegations like this. who is coming at me saying that I they want me just to go do this out of pocket out of pocket I have to go do it because someone else did it like are you out of pocket I like how the financial side of it creeps into the conversation well no just like like with no internal desire I must go follow in Connor's footsteps and have the same surgery done to me to comply with the wishes of our audience I don't believe that's what we're gonna be talking about in the next episode if it came from the subreddit well we're very happy for you Connor we are yeah I mean I think it's okay and I would say that the only like bump in the road was he came in and he saw that I was wearing all my Grateful Dead stuff and so he pops open a Bluetooth speaker and he throws on Touch of Grey and he's like pretty cool right and I said I don't want my favorite music associated with what's about to happen so could you just like could be olive branch he's like giddy because he knows that's that's all gonna he's gonna get even more powerful with each procedure and it's just like he can't even control himself yeah you know what i mean good guy though good guy great doc go to dr seaman in new jersey all right let's uh we've we've uh fallen behind on the news a little bit so there's going to be a new show let's get let's get into it okay i understand the audio audience might be a little confused um but that was los angeles ramp superstar wide receiver Puka Nakua. Holy God. It's the off season. He's enjoying himself as he has every right to. He's at some type of auto racing setup where I guess he was behind the wheel of a car. What he was saying, I don't know. I don't know what's going on with Puka Nakua in general. I have a new follow. I don't know if I should be following because I think it might be similar to our friend in Israel. Who was that again? Dove. Dove. it's this account Polymarket Football that just tweets a lot of different crazy shit and I know I probably shouldn't be following it because it's like following Dove but at the same time I see this clip and I'm like okay that's good for the show but the attached caption to this video is should the NFL conduct a mental wellness check on Puka Nakua he does seem nuts let me just say this everything I'm seeing about Puka Nakua, like off the field, brilliant player, obviously. But you are insane. If you let him continue on with the Los Angeles Rams, as long as Matthew Stafford is the quarterback and playing at a high level, you're going to be, you will rue the day you give this man an extension. You trade this man for a first round pick and let someone else inherit the Antonio Brown portion of his career. Just one man's opinion, but I feel 100% certain this to be true. Well, is there a player that six months ago, in terms of off the field and demeanor, like Puka Nakua certainly felt a certain way to me. And after the six or seven items and videos and drunken videos and bizarre videos that have come out in that time period since, I feel completely different about this guy. I do wonder if you're the Rams, and I'm not really, I don't have a hard and fast opinion, on it at the moment but they've been able to find their archetype wide receiver twice now in the less need era and really it's just like their best wide receivers are the best wide receivers because they block and they're involved in the blocking scheme and that's how they get open could they just find another could he do it again without having to commit an incredible what is a wide receiver apy now jamar chase after his last contract are we up at like 30 what is it like almost close to $40 million, right? I mean, that's what we're going to have to commit to Pukenikua. Top 10 quarterback money, right? That's what a top wide receiver costs. Yeah, I think that's a great point. They're good at scouting and finding the right player and not necessarily at the top of a draft class. And this is with all due respect to Justin Jefferson, who got caught in a bad situation this past season. But I think Pukenikua right now is the best wide receiver in the NFL, pound for pound. And you can get a first-round pick for a wide receiver. at that level. And I'm just very interested to see, because I think a lot of people think this is nonsense, this conversation we're having right now, but just hold on this and see what happens when Matthew Stafford is no longer in the picture and the Rams are looking at a scenario where they have to pay Puka like a quarterback and worry how he's going to handle a situation where maybe they have some bumps in the road at quarterback as they transition out of the Stafford period of their existence. It could be a big subplot down the line. Yeah, but like one to 10, where is your genuine concern? Like, there's been some silly stuff. And I see what you're saying, like, does it morph into something different? But it's none of it right now trails as something that you would cut. Just a hunch. I don't think you're wrong, because I think it's like, things seem like maybe not everyone adjusts to fame and money and everything else in LA the same way. But like, I'm not at the point where it's like, we've got to get rid of this guy now. No, I said as soon as Matthew Stafford is no longer playing at high level. We transition into the next phase of the Rams. Anyway, all right, the Dolphins. Dolphins are doing work, man. The Dolphins know they need to enter a new era with Jeff Halfley, and they are not wasting any time. So they get a bunch of guys off the books, or at least off the roster. They release defensive end Bradley Chubb, wide receiver Tyreek Hill, guard James Daniels, wide out Nick Westbrook-Akina, all done over the course of it, like 24 hours. And so they start there. And the biggest name there, obviously, I would say is Tyreek Hill. He's turning 32 in a couple of weeks. He's currently rehabbing his way back. He dislocated his knee and tore his ACL against the Jets last fall. So he's free to sign with any team he wants. He had a tweet, Connor, something about the cheetahs coming back and all this stuff. And it's interesting. We're coming off that Puka conversation, and now we're talking about Tyreek Hill, another fantastically talented wide receiver that could be mercurial and problematic off the field. And again, not to connect them to, because Tyreek Hill had way more serious stuff going on off the field than Puka and Akua. But you're now, if you go into the business of trying to get Tyreek Hill on a bounce back year, You inherit all the Tyreek stuff and what comes with a 32-year-old, very rich wide receiver who's expecting to be treated a certain way, even if he's not the same player he used to be. And I think that it's tricky unless you're the Chiefs, right? You know how to deal with them. You know that you have Patrick Mahomes and you know that Mahomes kind of trumps everyone. And you go into that understanding kind of the social pecking order of things. I think where it gets thorny, and remember the Jets were in on Tyreek at one point in time. Very much so. If you're a team that's interested in starting over and kind of building a culture from the ground up and you view him as a piece for like an ascending young player or like a second year or third year quarterback, I think that's when it starts to poison the well. And that's when I would say, I don't know, I'm getting 100,000 feet away from that. And I mean, there's no guarantee that he's ready to play even in the first half of the season. So it really should be a landing spot or a fit that can A, culturally deal with him, and be, you know, get them at the right time and not be out of the race at that point. It is wild to me quickly that like, this is going to happen again with some player this off season, but like the Dolphins gave up five draft picks, a first, a second, two fourths and a six for Tyreek Hill. And ultimately, if you look at what it all turned into nothingness, it just turned into nothing. So it's just kind of like, it was such an expensive deal. Who's the next on that? This is the perfect time to get Tyreek Hill if you're a team that can get him late in the year when he's healthy and can provide that X factor. And the Chiefs really fit. Chris Jones is asking for it, too. Yeah, I would think there's a number of teams where he would fit in that type of realm. The Chiefs are the most natural one, but I don't know, the Bills, insert contender here, Patriots. Seahawks. who even the Seahawks, any team that thinks they want an extra playmaker and feels like they could survive however long the rehab takes. I'll use an example of what the contract could look like when the Rams signed Odell Beckham at that stage of his career. It was similar in his early 30s, coming off some injuries. You might be able to sign him at a lower contract, but with a bunch of incentives, and it's not going to be the massive deal contract deal that he got with the Dolphins, for example, Connor. So you kind of I think you could hedge your bets a little bit with them and maybe it pays off big as long as you don't worry about him going nuts. Right. And yeah, I mean, as long as you give yourself the out and you give yourself what was it sort of the Jets Derrick Mason deal where like the minute this goes sideways or you annoy us even slightly training camp totally locked out of the facility. Yeah Yeah Let see By the way James Daniels as we get closer to free agency and in fact we are as we tape this just 20 days away from the opening of the legal tampering period do they still use that term I don't know negotiating a window whatever they call it James Daniels the guard signed a three-year 24 million dollar contract last offseason he played three snaps Bradley Chubb who enters the free agency market. He's two years removed from the ACL patella tendon meniscus tear in December 23. And so keep an eye on that. Another veteran coming off a serious injury. And finally, Jordan Schultz on Tua. Dolphins would prefer to find a trade partner for Tua. A cut is possible in the end, but that has been their preference. Schultz's understanding is the new regime doesn't want it to drag on too long. Connor, is there any way Tua gets moved in a trade? No. Yeah, I mean, I would prefer to drive, you know, a Lexus minivan instead of a TNC, but that's just not going to happen. It's not in our cards. It's over $100 million in dead cap at this point, and he's only in year two of a massive contract extension. So, yeah, this thing isn't going anywhere. They're going to have to either just lock him out of the facility and hope he doesn't show up or release him and swallow the money, which, like, if you're any of these guys, is that what you want to do? I mean, you're essentially going to gum up your roster for two years to try to get him off the books. So I don't know. This is a little bit of a disaster. We did the tiers, Mark, for head coach hires. And I think I was kind with Halfley and stuck him in the C tier. But God, is anybody in a tougher situation than this guy? Because this, you could look at this and we'll see what happens with free agency and how they spend. But they're going to be hemmed in, of course, by the Tua situation and how they draft. But is this team in a full on, going into a full on tank in 26? Yes. And you hire a head coach and you stick him with that situation. Why not just keep McDaniel and then make a decision, kick the can down the road with a new head coach or keep McDaniel if he proves something to you in a terrible situation? I don't know. Well, maybe McDaniel, though, in a world where you've got a new front office set up, wouldn't want to have Tyreek Hill off his roster or even maybe in some world. You can't decide that, right? Well, but the relationship ends because that's what makes the season very uncomfortable. I like what the Dolphins are doing right now because they're being extremely decisive. They've chopped $56 million off their cap. They feel to me like a tank candidate, especially if they find a way just to not play Tuba, which is the answer there. And quietly come in fourth in the AFC East and be in good position for one of the quarterbacks in next year's draft. Can you give out lollipops yet? I got to see what they – I can't give out the lollipops until we see how they spend in free agency. No, that's true. But I think you tell Jeff Halfley, like, who's telling him this? But from ownership on down, like, this is a mulligan for Jeff Halfley this season in terms of what they perform, how they perform. You just hope that they mean it this time and not like when they said it to Brian Flores when they secretly tried to replace him with Tom Brady and Sean Payton while he was tanking. Right, on yachts, multiple yachts. And the other crazy thing about these head coaches, they all are signing five-year guaranteed deals. Right? Are these fully guaranteed or is there offset money? It just seems so – There could be offset money. How did that happen? Like how did it get to the point where these teams that really view all these new head coaches as two-year propositions, especially the newer guys, and they all get more than double that. and it's like, good job by the agents, but it seems completely out of sync with how the actual cycle works, where we're firing a quarter of these guys every year and sometimes more like this year. They better be patient with Jeff Halfley for multiple reasons, including the pocketbook. Well, then you've got like a Jets team or a Browns team that's paying seven different head coaching regimes. Yeah, I think it's the only reason Aaron Glenn's is still head coach of the Jets. I think he would have fired him if it wasn't five years. Did you report that, Connor, or was that just some things you had heard? I think that was very much a part of the conversation this offseason because Glenn wrote in on kind of that D'Amico Ryan's high. It went, you know, it's 10-plus million, five-plus years on those contracts, and it's a lot of money to pay out for doing nothing. Speaking of the Jets and Woody Johnson, finally a W for gangrene. The NFL wins its grievance against the union regarding the report cards. I'm annoyed about this because this was a nice little offseason content for us. Dig through those report cards, trash all the bad teams, really have some fun. And they're not allowed. They're effectively banned now. The union is no longer allowed to publish future player report cards, according to a memo distributed to all 32 NFL teams on Friday morning. The Players Association, however, said it will continue to collect the report card responses, but it just can't make them public. And yes, Woody Johnson, who was very butthurt, the Jets got an awful evaluation last year. I think they graded out as an F for numerous categories. And Woody, in his way, reportedly spearheaded the effort to get this thing out of the public ledger. This is interesting, Connor. Reports indicated that 11 teams were involved in the complaints. Woody was a spearhead in the effort. and also, you know, some of the, it's like the three stooges of the NFL ownership group. I don't know how your boy Haslam's not in this group, but Woody Johnson, Michael Bidwell, David Tepper mentioned in the context of this ruling. I wonder why. Well, so here's the thing, two things. One, they're going to come out anyway, because when you have a document that you're not allowed to make public, what do you do? you leak it to like someone like me, right? That's my job. And get it to Connor or dot for all of these. I.com go ahead for all of these players, especially football players who have been using the NFL PA to push us out of locker rooms. Maybe we think twice about that. We can help you for certain things like this. Like the, the, the, the report cards have led to actionable change around the league, which is really why the owners hate it, right? they've had to redo locker rooms and training rooms they've had to hire better chefs they've had to do things they've had to pay which like a lot of teams do they've had to upgrade facilities for friends and family for the way that you know your family gets to come to training camp practices all that stuff that's why they're mad it costs them money right and the way that they're able to do that is through public embarrassment and the vehicle via the public embarrassment is us And so, you know, maybe don't kick us out of the locker rooms. There you go. Like we're here to help. Pay attention. Damn it. And more than 80% of the players responded, which is more than ever. These things usually come out during the combine, which is helpful information for pending free agents to say, well, this team, I've got two teams I want to I'm thinking about. This team gets an A and B in these categories. Then you got the Bengals who are getting an F for treating the families of players poorly. Right. Or the Jets owner getting the worst grade among any owner. And you go to a Barnes & Noble and there's these ridiculous books I wouldn't read about, like, CEO X writes on leadership. Here's how to be a leader. And you'd think that these guys, these masters of the universe types, right, would actually in a better world applaud and kind of embrace the challenge of doing better and being called out and say, like, let's fix this. And it's the complete opposite. It's a terrible look for the NFL that these 32 owners, and it's not all of them equally, but that they completely reject the concept of critique and accountability in the public eye. Also, it's so stupid, right? Because they Streisand affect themselves all the time. And I think this is sort of the norm politically right now where it's like you're banning something or you're getting a host thrown off television and it just makes them more beloved and popular. by banning the report cards you're only increasing the attention around the report cards like every speaking of bars noble every time i go in there now to buy a copy of si there is a banned book section it's the most popular section of the store because they're banning them everywhere you know what i mean like that's where you got dan's book for him from what i'm understanding yeah and it's like you know with with woody what's the only thing worse than those terrible grades last year. People learning a year later, instead of pumping in resources to fix things and maybe getting a better report card the next year, you try to suppress the information. Imagine doing everything wrong all of the time. You're right. And somehow being a billionaire. He wasn't even born on third base. This man was born on home plate, went nowhere, thought he hit the home run. Yeah, the old Al Gore treatment. Hey, if not for Al Gore, we wouldn't be doing this show right now. On the internet, Mark Sessler. Big up, Al Gore. Gore invented the net. What? The information super Hawaii. All right, let's take a break and we'll continue on. Everyone wants their money to do more, but without the stress, the jargon, or the confusion, that's why TELUS feels refreshing. Yeah, Telus started out as a property management app, helping owners and managers collect rent, communicate with tenants, and stay organized. But now Telus goes beyond that, helping everyday people grow their money. Yes, Mark, Telus is reimagining how everyday people can grow by offering a high-yield savings wallet powered by real estate. The app includes a digital wallet designed to help your money go to work for you while keeping everything simple and transparent. Exactly, Dan. You can move funds in and out easily, track your daily growth clearly, and access your money whenever you need it. And the best part? There are no processing fees, no locked up funds, and no fees to open or use TELUS. You can also earn better rates by building positive habits like learning through TELUS daily trivia or simply setting goals for yourself. Learn more at telusapp.com or just search TELUS, T-E-L-L-U-S in the Apple App Store or Android Store. Tell us. Earn more daily. Tell us is not a bank. Tell us is not FDIC insured. Becoming a parent has a way of shifting everything. You stop living just in the moment and start picturing the future. First days of school, big dreams, and all the little moments in between. For me, taking care of my family also meant preparing for the what ifs. Even the ones no one really wants to think about. That's why I chose life insurance through Ethos. Absolutely. What impressed me right away was how easy it was. ethos lets you handle everything online from getting a quote in seconds to completing an application in about 10 minutes some people even get covered the very same day there's no medical exam you just answer a few health questions and that's it coverage can go up to three million dollars with plans starting around 30 a month dan yep and we're not the only ones who trust them ethos has earned a 4.8 out of five star rating on trust pilot from over 3 000 reviews plus as of March, 2025. Business insider named Ethos the number one no medical exam, instant life insurance provider. Protect your family with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free quote in minutes at ethos.com slash HTC. That's E-T-H-O-S dot com slash HTC. Ethos.com slash HTC. Application times and rates may vary. And Darnold will take the snap from his 23. Patriots with a blitz. Pressure throw to the left. Incomplete. searching for Jackson Smith and Jigbo with Durden and Spillane in his face. If you get middle pressure to this guy at his feet, he's going to give you, he's looking to throw. He wants to get rid of it. They didn't even turn. Jennings looks and undercuts this. It's a pick six. You can have two pick sixes already in this game. Hit him high and hit him early. Oh, baby. Oh, the gift that keeps on giving. Super Bowl 60. I don't know who this person is, but on YouTube, someone, I got to give this guy a shout out because he deserves it. Someone decided, Mark, a very important thing to do was to make a super cut of Scott Zolak, like losing it. Of course, across the four quarters of Superbowl 60. And I'll tell you what, my birthday's in a couple of months. They'd actually falls on night one of the draft, which is obviously going to curtail any family or friends activities. but this is an early birthday gift. I sent, I sent, this is a, let's see, Red Tribe Cinema put it together. It's an 11 minute video. I sent Justin a series of clips to pull just to, to luxuriate in the Zolak of it all. So let's, let's listen to some more. Absolutely. Tell you what, right now, neither quarterback is vying for the MVP at this stage of the game. Four of 12 is this guy. You cannot lose a Super Bowl to this guy. As Cesar Romero said in the original Batman series, Oh, delicious! Oh, how delicious it is! A common thread in this reel with Zolak is, and maybe, and I understand, Like, what a low-hanging fruit thing for the old Zusser, who's so pathetic with his horrible Jets team that this counts as joy. Yes, that all checks out. And part of it, Mark, that brings me joy, and I feel like you'd feel the same if it was at the Browns, is in a way, this Sam Darnold game, losing to Darnold, is in this twisted way in the mind of the sentient Powerade bottle. like the Jets quarterback getting over on the Patriots after they had already thought they put him under the ground. So in a weird way, in just a slight way, Connor, the Jets won the Super Bowl against not the Patriots, but Scott Zolak. Yeah, you're certainly making the case for that. How about this? Now he's starting to lose grip a little bit. Now he's starting to get nervous, but he also feels like it's still right there. It's still right there. the Patriots can take their place atop NFL mountain once more. You've got to wake up on the sideline on offense. You're a play away from taking control of this game. Seriously. I think when you label him as sentient, it's a bit of a stretch. You feel like he's waking up to the reality of what is occurring here in his life. Here's again, he can't deal with the fact that Sam Darnold is about to put the Patriots in the ground in the Super Bowl after a Darnold incompletion that was, I believe, nearly a pick. Darnold, pressure. Darnold moves up. Slings it to the near side behind Walker. He's going to give it to you. And that pass behind the intended receiver with Robert Spillane closing, maybe thinking about a pick. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. This guy's junk. Jesus. How about, Justin, the clip when he throws it slightly behind JSN near the half and Christian Gonzalez almost gets the pick at 6-0. God bless you, Mike. God bless McDonald on this. I mean, the skinnies there, he had him. Just a crap throw. That throw is further to the inside. It's a touchdown for Seattle. I mean, they're going to eat him alive in the second half. He just got a score. 16 seconds. This is bad. What? He's detached from reality. Delicious. All right, I'm going to pause. I have some more, but we'll save it for the end of the show. We're just halfway through, Cecil. Wait, we're having a second. Part two of Zolak Meltdowns coming up on our show later. Our show, which essentially doubles as like a Dan fantasy land that tickles somewhere within. Why can't you just give me this, Mark? Do you understand what I just went through in an NFL season? Just let me have this. Are you not having it? You're having it. You have to let me, though. Just don't. I'm let I have I have I don't press the buttons. I just sit here and look into the camera. So everything's fine. Beautifully. You look beautiful. And when you look in that camera. All right we come back to it though It sounds like you want us to come back to it So I mean I don know what the purpose of the rest of the show will be until then I cannot wait Sound off in the live stream if you don want us to come back to it Let's head to old quarterback corner. Remember Derek Carr? Who remembers Derek Carr? Yeah, vaguely. Yeah, I always liked Derek Carr. I always thought he was a little better than he got credit for. One of those guys that was, in fact, both old quarterbacks are about to talk about, I always thought, kind of were lightning rods when they weren't necessarily the problems for their middling teams for most of their careers. Derek Carr obviously had those years with the Raiders, went on to play for the Saints. It didn't go very well. He's in retirement. But Carr was on, he does a podcast with his brother called Homegrown. We used to work with his brother. We did. David Carr, nice guy. Good guy. Maybe we should get David on the show if he's available. Good draft guy, yeah. Yeah. But anyway, he said he'd only retire, Derek Carr, to play for a Super Bowl contender. Let's check this out. Would I do it? Yes. Obviously. Would I do it for anybody? Absolutely not. Nope. There's no way. I know. I told you two things. I'd have to be healthy, and I would want a chance to win a Super Bowl. That's two pretty good factors. Obviously, that's a tough thing to find. That's hard to do. That's not easy. I'm going to tell you right now, though. I know you're healthy. Hmm. David, I have to point out, Connor, that Derek Carr looks like he's about 140 pounds. I mean, in good shape, but it doesn't look like he's an NFL shape right now. David Carr looks like the Terminator. Holy God. The best looking guy that ever worked in NFL Network while we were there. I always thought that he looks carved out of stone has since he was a player. Well, David Ely also, but sure. Shout out Dave Ely for those who know. They're sitting a little too close together for my liking. like the table space between them. Like it's a little more romantic than I feel like it needs to be. I mean, they're brothers. Look at that. Like they're just, that's a lot of brother Connor. No, no, I don't. But that's like, you know, it's just too close. They're just too close on the table. Like they're look at their, their clipboards are touching. I get that. It's a little anxiety raising to see them. Their knees are probably touching. Yeah. Like that's, I look at the way he's sitting to try to relieve the lack of space between the two of them. If I did a podcast with Kevin Danger Hanses, which would probably be an amazing podcast, I would love a setup like this. Nice and intimate. There's no feelings of romantic entanglement. You want your quads smashing into each other? I want kneecap, smoking kneecap. All right. I don't think we're suggesting that the two brothers have a romantic connection. No. I thought that's how we set up the conversation just now. Well, we'd correct that. I don't think that's where we're going with that. Let me get us out of this. I think it's interesting that – Do you want it like COVID lockdown? Do we want like plexiglass and masks? Like how do we – how do you want to set up the Derek David Carr? Yeah, six inches even. I find it funny that Derek Carr – like I guess it's this scenario that he's envisioning where he – like a Super Bowl team needs him. in some way, shape, or form? That's the part of the fantasy that is interesting to me. A team is capable of winning the Super Bowl if only they had Derek Carr somehow, and what team would that be? No, it's a little bit. I think he's a little disconnected from what his value is on the market. As crazy as it sounds, for my team, and remember the Summit New Jersey Italian restaurant, Connor, that the Jets took Derek Carr to before they ultimately pivoted to, I don't know who it was, Brett Favre? No, not Brett Favre. Aaron Rodgers. Who knows? But I wouldn't hate that. I feel like it would be an upgrade on Justin Fields and Tyrod Taylor if we're just trying to get through a year. But at the same time, he's been out of the league for at least, was it two years or one? One. It would go horribly wrong. You don't put him on. Yeah, just like a low guarantee contract on a short term just to get you through a season if you don't. But if he thinks there's a contender out there, Like, who's the, like the Minnesota Vikings, I guess, would be a team that I think of, like, that he would probably say, I would love to play for that team and play for that coach. You know where he fits? You know where he weirdly fits is it's not a Super Bowl team, but if you wanted to log tape and be a starter, like, I would put him on the Raiders and then ease in Mendoza, not in week one. And he has spoken very highly of the Raiders, despite the way that all went down. It's a different regime. There's two amazing things about this. The first is that Tom Brady has said over and over again the reason that he became Tom Brady is because of Drew Bledsoe. It sounds like they're laying the groundwork for a bridge starter there. But it would also pair Derek Carr with Tom Brady. And if you remember correctly, when Tom Brady was on that show, The Shop, Derek Carr was that motherfucker. The one that he was, a team was interested in him until the last minute and pulled out. And he said, you're going to ditch me for that mother f***er. It was Derek Carr. So wouldn't that be great if they got together? It would be great. I also like the idea. What's that, Justin? Not to mention Clint Kubiak was his OC his last year in New Orleans. And that was the best that Carr's looked in quite some time. So there's so many connections here. It actually does make a lot of sense. I think the move here is for the – I think everyone's right on this. I think the Raiders take – sign Derek Carr and take best player available with the first pick in the draft. Go get a linebacker. Go get a defensive end. You're not taking the number one pick? What's that? Dan's trying to manifest Mendoza to the Jets. Yeah, I think that's the right move is for them. Set up quarterback with Derek and just go get Arvel Reese. For your own interest. I think that's the way to do it. No, no, no. For your own interest. This is just analysis. That's all this is. We are dipping again into pure fantastical regions that are Jets adjacent. No, I'm talking Raiders. I don't know. I don't even know who's picking number two. I have no idea. I'm just saying, like, best available and move forward with Derek Carr. You said linebacker. Got some good ones. Justin, there's some good linebackers in this class, if I'm not mistaken. You named two Ohio State guys. Arvel Reese, who might be an edge rusher. Sonny Stiles is like a top 10 pick worthy linebacker. I don't know if he'll go that high, but yes, there are guys. Mark, three letters. B-P-A. Best player available. Yes, sir. And I resent the implications, sir. All right. Other old quarterbacks. Kirk Cousins. There he is. He possesses a lot. Kirk is an interesting figure. Well, he's not interesting, but he's kind of fun to talk about. He possesses a level of self-awareness that I admire. I look at him and I say he knows. He was on the Kevin Sheehan show, DC Sports Podcast, and he says he knows why he's one of the more polarizing QBs of his era, and here's his take on that. Yeah, I think there were a few variables that were kind of all coming together. While, you know, we had success, it wasn't 15-2. It wasn't 14-3. It wasn't so much success that, you know, I'm holding up a Lombardi and there's really no room left to criticize. I think if you go 9-8, 9-7, you know, you're still giving yourself that room to be criticized some. Okay, that's fair. Is there anything left, Kirk Cousins? Do you have any interest in Kirk Cousins, Mark? I think the one thing about being paired with Kevin Stefanski in Atlanta, it's a good fit for Kirk Cousins. It may be if he were younger and more spry, it could be a better fit than Michael Penix. But I'd stay put, if possible, and see what happens there. You've got Michael Penix coming off of surgery. I totally agree. I think everybody's kind of air mailing him already to Minnesota to go back to Minnesota and to challenge Nine for the starting job there. But the Falcons have enough cap space. I think when they release Kirk Cousins, they can just basically re-sign him again to what Cousins wants, which is like a fully guaranteed $15 million to $20 million deal. I mean, that's kind of what he does. And he doesn't have to move, and he can work with Kevin again. I mean, I think that makes all the sense in the world. I mean, I don't think enough people are talking about the fact that Atlanta literally doesn't have another option. I mean, Michael Penix got hurt in, what, November? I mean, and it was his third ACL injury. Over on NFL Reddit, someone put together a compilation of all of Michael Penix's throws over 20 air yards. And I thought of it, Mark, when you said airmail because it was pretty ghastly. And then he blows out his knee. so yeah I think the Falcons need some they need some Pennix insurance here on multiple levels and it's also a reminder but not a harbinger of doom Justin but a reminder that Cam Ward has inherited the scepter of the second year passer that everyone just assumes will make the leap in the upcoming season it didn't happen with Pennix and the Falcons really would be very wise to to cover themselves there. He's also not the guy. He wasn't drafted by the people that are running the team anymore either. So you just wonder, is he in the future at all for that team now? It happens quick. It happens quick. All right. I guess I buttoned that one up. So let's move on. Jamar Chase. I think we felt that you buttoned that appropriately. Yeah. How's your penics, Connor? I could have used Penix insurance before I went to Dr. Seaman. Jamar Chase is being open about the Bengals and their offseason expectations. He had a quote in the past week, everybody pretty much knows what we need. He spoke with Russell Heltman on a wide range of topics. And I guess, Connor, I'll ask you, someone who covers the league at large. How does Cincinnati get out of this mess they've been in, the soup they've been in for the past several years beyond just Joe Burrow playing 17 games? Yeah. I mean, I think that's what's annoying to me is like, there are fan bases that act aggrieved. There are players that act aggrieved and like, what is the franchise not giving the Bengals? I mean, they signed Jamar Chase to the largest receiver contract in NFL history, T. Higgins to the largest number two wide receiver contract in NFL history. Joe Burrow to the biggest quarterback contract at the time in NFL history. They built an indoor practice facility. They added more scouts to the scouting department. Like, they're literally falling over themselves to maximize this team. And the players are just like, well, we need more. It's like, no, you guys need to play better. And your coaches need to coach better. And your quarterback needs to stay healthy. Like, I don't understand what else there is missing in this equation. What I would do tactically, because I agree with you. And it's a lot of, there's a lot of verbalization coming from the quarterback too, down the stretch of the season where it's like these quotes he's making are a little unnecessary. We get that things are a bit of a mess. We don't need Burrow to go off verbally, but you've got the 10th overall pick. You've got, I think, eight draft picks in this draft. If I were building the team on like Madden, I just go all defense. Like, just completely inject this defense with, like, almost what the Seahawks did over the last couple of years, which was smartly pick defensive players left and right and shore up that side of the ball. That's been the problem. Like, I mean, and you've got 50 million in cap space going into free agency. Like, address that and maximize this quarterback and offense before it all floats away. Yeah. Stay right here. We'll take a break. And when we get back, we finish out this rundown. He's hit, the ball's loose And the Seahawks recovered Another sack of May Fifth of the game And the Seahawks, Byron Murphy Has the takeaway Seahawks Gained possession Inside New England's 40 Absolute ass kicking right here Defensive ass kicking on an offense That has really no answer for you For what they do Hope fading for the Zolak Late in the third I thought of you because I saw him at the Super Bowl. Was he wearing the shades? Me and Breer, I can't remember. Me and Bert were going to the NFL experience to buy our kids like teddy bears or something like that. And it was like a long walk and you had to go through all these security lines. And then when you get there, they tell you it doesn't open until 3 and it's like 1125. And Zolak was just blasting out of the doors and he's like, oh, this place isn't open. But he's just like he's a professional wrestler that's always in character. and it was so good to see him just 10 out of 10. I want to give him a little pop here because the next clip I'm going to play, remember when the streaker ran out onto the... Oh, yeah. Yeah, he did a nice job until he was floored. We should talk about that a little bit because the streaker, who, by the way, in the old days, you say streaker, I better see some nudity, right? Now we're just taking our shirt off and it's a streaker, not a streaker. I mean, we're such a puritanical society overrun by just like religious fanatics that that's a streaker now? We took off our T-shirt? I don't know if the streaker community holds those views, but you'd say in action. You're right. They seem more puritanical. But I absolutely love that the streaker had an accomplice. I don't know if you saw it because he wore those Ray-Bans that have the camera in them. so his accomplice hops the the the fence the the wall or whatever um and by the way getting down there couldn't have been easy and just getting in the building had to be enormously expensive i don't know i don't even want to know the backstory maybe he got sponsored by some gambling hut or something but so he has a guy that jumps and i don't know if he was purely um a diversion or it was like we're both gonna jump and one of us is gonna make it that's probably what happened but it worked perfectly. They both, they both jump. One guy gets tackled by two guards immediately. Second guy and the guy wearing the glasses breaks through and go find it online. If you, if you want to see what it looks like. So good strat, but to streak or just get on the field, Sessie in the Superbowl. Absolutely. Should have been shown on TV. Yeah. It was an accomplishment. it's um a wonderful example of creating diversion and it's a reminder that if you yourself wanted to attempt this um that you do the thing you pair up and you when you are dealing with most of these security guards down in the field their assumption is that they're going to go the entire game without having to deal with anything so when suddenly you've got two running individuals as they did um i thought it was wonderfully done and it's kind of like when you know you're in dealy plaza and someone, the umbrella man opens the umbrella the minute that Kennedy is taken out to show him that the soft on communism umbrella campaign of the Kennedy White House is one of the reasons he was taken down. It's the last thing he saw before he went out. Diversion, cops everywhere, no one knows what's going on. Did I explain that clearly? No, not to me. Just a lone gunman up on the sixth floor of the book depository that that's all i that's that's my feeling on it the other thing about the security guards too is it's not like no offense to any of them but i mean ray lewis isn't down there you know what i mean and uh it's kind of like when you know in 2020 when you're sitting there and you're like wait like how secure is like our election system like if you really push it and you really stress it as far as it can go and i wonder if the nfl is like how like safe really is the field at the Super Bowl, if you think about it Like this isn exactly you know SEAL Team 6 down there you know Yeah that fair And here is Zolak to his credit not taking the typical announcer route as you don expect him to with said quasi streaker OK, not a streaker. Used to be a great country. Here we go. About what transpired. Oh, we got a streaker. Oh, yeah. Touchdown. Touchdown! With Kyle Williams, the Patriots rookie receiver, going after him. He cuts him off, and the security personnel. Let the beat down the field. Kyle Williams almost, it was funny. Almost, yep. When you get angry, and you could tell, I mean, the Patriots are just getting their asses kicked at that point. And the way that you saw Kyle Williams move at that guy, you were like, he's about to just free the beast on this dude and let out some much needed frustration. Yeah, he pulls up at the last second. I love that part best with the streakers when the finally the player gets to said bean and just rocks them to the turf. Like there's the old Brown Steelers game where like a fan ran out there and got just pile driven into the into the frozen turf. I think that's just desserts. I mean, the quasi-streaker nailed it on every level because he also, when you watch any of the footage, but especially his camera footage, who was the wide receiver recently retired? Was it Tyler Lockett, who was famous for sliding down to avoid contact, never took a hit? I think it was Lockett. He would catch a slant or catch any type of medium to downfield pass, and he would always just slide down, probably saved his brain and extended his career, even if it didn't look overly macho. But, and I hope it was Tyler Lockett. Does that ring a bell for anyone? Because I don't want to be assigning to the wrong person. Justin is nodding correct. No one else has ever heard of this or seen this. Okay. Thank you, guys. You're letting him have his moment. Yes. Let me know in the comments. I'm sure you will if I'm thinking of the wrong person. But even this guy slides down before he could take the punishing hit. And he actually, because it catches on the mic, the glasses he's wearing, he goes, you got me. All right. He does the slide down. You guys got me. Just expertly done. Good job, Zolak. One more Zolak. Again, I'm going to give him credit here. I don't want to be overly negative on the sentient power raid bottle. He has a great take. They're playing Sweet Caroline at the end of the game. If you're from New England or you've lived in New England, Sweet Caroline is a song that gets played at every Red Sox game. But it doesn't hit the same when the Red Sox are losing. And a lot of people don't think it should be playing when they're losing. And so they're playing this as the Patriots are getting stomped. and here's Zolak's commentary on it. So this is what you're going to do. This is what Red Sox do. When you get your ass kicked, you play it at the end of the game. Be better. Be better. My daughter's getting married next summer. This is banned for the wedding playlist. I mean, I'm paying. It ain't getting in there. It ain't got a shot. Can you imagine him as a father-in-law? that would be a trip he won me over a little bit with that Dan I want to give you a compliment on this project that you've put into the episode like you and these last two entries you were well no these last two entries I think you were very fair and balanced on the moments that Zolak had that were slightly positive thanks Mark appreciate you well well thank you I appreciate that well, it was deserved. Don't need it, but I appreciate it. Let's throw it to a Miles Garrett. Mark, you set this one up. You added it to the rundown. Yes. So Miles Garrett, if you've been watching the Olympics, and I know Connor, as you mentioned, he's been a big curling fan, but Olympic snowboarder Chloe Kim is the girlfriend of Miles Garrett. He's been over there overseas in Italy watching her succeed. And on Valentine's Day, if we can take a look at this, if you're watching on YouTube, gave her... I don't like this. I'm going to tell you I don't like this. He gave her a car for Valentine's Day. This is a classic. It's a rich person's movie. It's very much in love, clearly. That's all nice. But I mean, I don't want this information getting out to anyone's girlfriend that someone just received a pink car compared to whatever you gave someone for Valentine's Day. You're going to look like you gave less no matter what, or if you did anything for Valentine's Day. He's also wearing a sweatshirt that says, I love my super hot, beautiful girlfriend. He is very in love. So please stay away from me. He is very in love. We calm down with the sweatshirt though. Okay. I'm bothered for a very different reason than you are. And that is that NFL players just have this ability to suck the attention away from anything else in the room like a dying son and it's just like your significant other gets one one day every four years where the national conversation is centered around your sport and you're like look at me i do something important too and it's like no man like just you know you have like a giant telephoto lens camera and it's like oh i'm interested in photography too. And it's like, no, just let her snowboard. Like just give her two minutes and then, and then you could do whatever you want. You know, I totally agree. You know, the Browns, you know, give me a break. It is very miles Garrett to make it clear to us that he's got side hobbies like poetry and photography. And he's a well put together. It's like a man. man. Like when we started at NFL Media, we were blogging. Is he the new Arian Foster of the NFL? He was like, please, I want you to know how deep and varied I am. I think that Foster is in a bit of a different space where he, at a certain time in our culture where NFL players were learning how to use social media to become much more on our radar than we want them to be. I thought Arian Foster leaned into that hardcore. Garrett is he that annoying as a personality? I don't think so. No. Sorry, Mark. I don't think so. I don't think he's annoying. Well, you just told the Browns to F off or whatever came out of your mouth about a minute ago. Does what I'm saying make sense, though? Yes. No, you absolutely nailed it. It's true. Just get out of the way. Give this woman her moment because snowboarding, unless it's like ESPN 6, is not going to be on NBC anytime soon. You know what I mean? By the way, just as an aside, I got heavy into curling, like we said, because it's a sport of honor. Mark and I were talking about this earlier. So when there's a dispute, you just have to hash it out with the people there. There's no – nobody's going to come and stop it. A bunch of people bitching at each other. No official. Oh, it's great. And then that – and then I got deep into Ice Dance, and then there's a documentary on Netflix about the people who are in Ice Dance. Holy shit. Like, this is, I don't know, there's another life for me out there covering these. Yeah, I was going to say nothing makes more sense to me than Connor really digging in on the granular details of the Winter Olympics. Yeah, it's the whole Orr family too, right? Like specifically the Winter Olympics really connecting with Connor. In fact, if I know my Connor, he might have a totally 180 take on the Summer Olympics, seeing it as vacuous and not worthy of the coverage it gets. But the Winter Olympics, which is kind of lower in the pecking order, is this wonderful, beautiful thing. And the idea of the curling, which I watched a bit of this weekend, which is just an insane sport, by the way, to try to figure out in real time and do that test, which I think everybody should do. when you're having a conversation with somebody like i said i was up in idaho hanging out with our friends and uh staying at their parents beautiful house in the mountains and we're watching curling and we're having a couple cold ones nobody knows what's going on but we don't look it up on our phones we just try to figure it out and just think when you have a when you're having a conversation and there's like you're trying to think of like uh who is that closer of the Chicago Cubs in 1997, and you're both right there and you can't quite get it, don't look it up. Just let it hang out there and maybe it comes back to you and maybe it doesn't. But watching curling and trying to figure out what the f*** it means that somebody has the hammer and why does, so there are nine of these frames, innings? Why isn't the hammer going back and forth? Like, are they trying to get it on the Olympics logo or in the green? Like, what's going on? I love that. I love just trying to figure something out that is almost impossible to figure out. Yeah, I'd Google it. No, I'm with you. I think what I think is funnier and more amazing, right? And especially if you have a good announcer like Lee Diffie, like the British guy. The Diff Master, yeah. There was like the women's biathlon the other day where this Italian lady on skis just comes from fifth place and knocks over five targets, and they're like, unbelievable! And you're just sitting there like, yeah! What the f***? All right, this is great. I don't know, man. Everyone talks about getting a vasectomy during the Masters, but getting a vasectomy during the Winter Olympics is wired, man. My God, it was like 24-hour programming. I didn't have to leave the couch. I mean, the other way, Connor, you didn't mention that over text, and I just did the thing where it's like I'd Google it, trying to counter Dan, but then Connor's like, I agree with you 100%, and I want to... But it's like you also could watch the Olympics 24-7 and not get a vasectomy. Just throwing that out there, that is another option. I've watched plenty of Olympics without anyone sticking a sharp object into my scrotum. I knew you were going to catch a stray when Mark didn't get an agreement from you. I guess the question is, is that the only way that you're allowed to watch the Olympics that much? Like, was it because you were felled and injured? Two sides of a coin, Mark. It doesn't like nobody has to be a winner. I didn't win because Connor agreed with me. It was just Connor did agree. It doesn't go anywhere beyond that. You do recognize that I was simply opting for wordplay there, saying I would just Google it. I also like to mentally solve problems without jumping on the internet with a friend in a snowy environment like Idaho with a cold one in the hands or whatever. So why did you say that? I don't know, because it's just the way the show works. You know, just to tie this up, like, again, not knowing what's going on is sometimes fun. I watched Best in Show, the Christopher Guest film, for the first time on Thursday before I got on the plane or Wednesday night. Wow. And really enjoyed it. I was looking for a movie that, how about 90-minute movies? Thank you. How about we make more of those? Now we agree. That's a perfect 90-minute movie. Disagree with Mark, quick on it. And, um, and I wish like, I would love as I'm looking to, you know, have different revenues of income in my life to be like the Fred Willard, the Buck Laughlin. Uh, so pair me at the winter Olympics with like an Englishman that knows everything about curling. And then I'm just, they're just totally clueless trying to offer anything and just constantly being created, just like corrected or ignored. I want to be in a Buck Laughlin role at the Winter Olympics in 2030. I will say this. If you run afoul of fans of those sports, like we think and we get annoyed about every time that we say something and people respond, do you even watch football? But if you f*** up figure skating and you read the YouTube comments on an announcer that even has a totally meaningless mistake on a figure skating thing, those people are doxing your address and looking to kill. And not with a gun, like with a knife. It's insane. An intimate crime. Just be careful. The victim must know the perp. I'm just saying, just be careful. This is up close. that you're not really going to be able to have a lot of fun with it. Stay away from discussing or commenting on speed skating or ice sports. Yeah. Ice dance, baby. All right. That's that. That's it. By the way, on Wednesday, we're going to open up the mailbag. I know Justin already sent out the prompt out there. So if you want to just reply to that, and we'll all retweet it from our various social handles. so we'll hit a little news on Wednesday or early Thursday the show will go up and we will dig into the mailbag and interface with the listeners. Mark, final words. Yeah, I like to interface. I like some boundaries around that. Sure. And I don't want Dr. Seaman coming to my apartment or my abode ever. That's your choice. That's your choice. I'll leave it right there. It is my body, my choice. Right. And no one should judge you for that. But again, I'm not getting into this cultural morass around a man's choice with a vasectomy. Well, we're thrilled for Connor. I'm not sure why, but we are. He's done. He's out. I mean, I did my job societally. I mean, three is enough. Absolutely. And three of me is enough for everybody. And does the 2016 TNC even have room for another? I mean, we're just talking in terms of that flying death box. Could it even seat another child? You know what I mean? So maybe it's just from purely functionality in terms of your household. And this had to happen. Well said. Yeah. We could do one more, but I think that would be the end of me. Are those seats in the back of that TNC even locked in? Or they just slide around as you make turns and everything? didn't get high marks in that um consumer survey you know that yeah i do know that we've we've played that enough times here that i think about it every time it slides in the snow or whatever yeah 119 models have records of much worse than average reliability and we're talking dynasty uh when it comes to the chrysler town and country 2013 through 2016 and Connor, he purchases what year is it, Connor, your model? 16. The Dynasty Edition. What was Chrysler, what were they doing during that period? It's a transmission issue. It's easily fixed. I already talked to a mechanic about it. Whenever the transmission is acting up, it's what you want to hear. As you're rolling down Garden State Parkway at 80 miles. Nobody in this quad box in front of me could even point to me and tell me where the transmission is on an automobile. Right next to the carburetor, bro. Right next to it. And the tubes. The gas tubes. The gas tubes. Is that a thing? Do you know? And don't suggest the problem is easily solved. That does nothing for the segment. All right. Mark's still living with that Google comment. Gotta love it. I am genuinely annoyed. All right, one more Zolak, and then we say goodbye until Thursday. It's a tough game. It sucks. This is bad. But the team is relevant again. All right, see you next year. See you next year. Oh. See you Thursday. Eat the call. We'll see you next time.