This episode is made possible by the generous support of our listeners on Patreon. Join us at patreon.com slash Leviathan Chronicles to hear episodes ad-free, unlock exclusive content, and dive deeper into the Leviathan universe. We thank you for supporting us and making the Invinio's Expeditions possible. Hey everybody, this is Robin. And this is Christoph. And welcome to another episode of Don't Push the Moose. We've got another comedy episode for you today. But before we do, we're going to do a little bit of housekeeping. A lot of listeners have been reaching out to us to ask, what is the next major Leviathan franchise that we're launching? And the answer to that, as some of you know, is called the Saraxian Cataclysm. And this is going to be a new part of the Leviathan universe set in space that takes you to the Saraxian Planetary Empire that the aliens have brought immortality or Earth are from. And we're going to be exploring what their relationship is with the Maddox virus, what caused them to come to Earth and start the events that created the Leviathan Chronicles. So we're going to be doing this season a little bit differently than we have in the past. And we're going to be beginning by launching a series of audiobooks that I've written along with Austin Farmer that are going to introduce this new part of the Leviathan lore to our listeners. And it's I really sort of like Game and Thrones in space has been the ethos that we've had in creating it. And I'm really excited to share it with you. So those are going to be coming out in a few months. We're really excited, but we've got a fun little nugget today. Don't we, Robin? We sure do. So we're we are on week three now of our month long little mini series called Don't Push the Moose, which is a reminder as just a fun little sketch comedy series that we've been making kind of behind the scenes for a while now. So you're going to be hearing the third skit from us today. And Christoph, you want to tell people what this one's about? Yeah. So a lot of people have reached out to us to say, God, I really enjoyed meeting Peter and Susan, this lovely couple that one on such a fun, fun, lovely date to a to a laundromat. How did they meet? How could these two wonderful souls meet in the the big crushing sea of New York? Well, we're here to tell you that story today. Yep, you're about to find out. Get ready, you're just going to listen to a very ordinary conversation between two ordinary dog owners at a park in New York City. So here we go. Let's listen to Episode three of Don't Push the Moose. Don't push the moose. Push the moose. Don't push the moose. Don't push the moose. Don't push the moose. Don't push the moose. Don't push the moose. And now downtown dog park. Okay, Rocco, good boy. Alright, buddy. Alright, go play. Go, go, go, go, go. Oh, be careful. Oh, gosh, I'm sorry about that. Rocco, you just sort of take off. No, no, it's no problem. I love weekends. They're so fun. Thanks. I think it's because there's a squirrel in that tree that Rocco's been clocking who's been playing hard to get. The two of them kind of have this on again, off again thing. Like Rachel and Ross. Or like Tom and Jerry. Oh, got it. I think Rocco thinks he's auditioning for his big movie role, the Fast and the Furious. I thought it was Mission Impossible. Oh, I see what you did there. Oh, what about you? I see what you did there. Oh, what about Jurassic Bark? Oh, I think we hit the limit. We did? Oh, yeah. You know, I can do this all day. Oh, please don't. Okay. So, how old is Rocco? He's about four now. Actually, no, no, five. He's such a cutie. He looks great. He said five? He still looks like a puppy. Oh, thank you. That means a lot. You know, it's just great to see Rocco playing with the other dogs nicely. Oh, was he having some kind of socialization issues? Well, I don't know. I just think he's a little shy. I guess he's still trying to get used to the city. Is Rocco a country dog? Sort of. We adopted him from a shelter upstate when he was a pup, but I think he's still... So, all this stimulation must be a lot for him. The city, the cars, the other dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it shell-shocked him. And for a while, we'd come to the park and he just wouldn't play. Even when the younger dogs would come over, or the little puppies would try to play with him, you know, the real young ones, the real real young ones, they... But I gotta tell you, he has been so much more confident since we got him some Botox. No! I couldn't even tell! I think he was intimidated by all the younger dogs. Everyone looks like a show dog. Oh, oh, tell me about it. So, we just did a little filler. It looks totally natural. No, no, no. We kept it discreet. Not a lot. He's a little in his jowls and snoot. But he doesn't need Botox. You said he's only five. Yeah, but you know, that's like 35 in dog years. There's a jungle out there, and not just in Chelsea. Even for male dogs. Ugh! You gotta have a shiny coat and keep your nose black. Gotta keep it tight. It's not just the bitches anymore. Oh, trust me, I get it. It's this whole canine culture. It's always like, who makes your collar? Or where did you buy that leash? Who designed your dogs to-to? I mean, it's the West Village, not Westminster. Yeah. It sends a message to our pets. Yeah, yeah, I swear. I don't even let my dog watch Bravo anymore. Oh, that's so smart. Mine's obsessed with sushi and soba. Uh, Kardashian's dogs are the food. Both! Oh, but it has to be good sushi. Pepper loves the negatoro from Nakazawa. Oh, I love that place! But you know, you're so right about all the canine commercialism. I think it's Instagram. Now it's like all the puppies just want to be show dogs. Like what happened to retrieving or pointing? We're growing up to be a Saint Bernard and rescuing people. No, these dogs don't want to do the work. They don't want to do the work. Yeah, dogs these days. I keep telling Pepper, you are more than a shiny coat. Obviously, the other day I had this moment, I was on my hands and knees, kneeling in front of Raka. I had hair dye in one hand and an applicator brush in the other. I'd been down there for like an hour, just trying to get some of the gray out of his hindquarters. Finally, I look at myself and I'm like, what the hell am I doing? Yes, totally. Yeah, I'm like, I gotta do the whole coat. The whole coat, of course. It looked like a fucking badger otherwise. Yeah, so three hours later, I just did some light color. Raka has a little brindle on his neck. Oh, I couldn't even see. Yeah, so just did some highlights, a few streaks. Oh my gosh. Raka is so lucky to have such a loving dad. Oh, I'm serious. Not many men these days are. Thank you, that's kind. But did I hear you say a we before? Are you married? Oh, uh, was for about 11 years, but we just got divorced about six months ago. Oh no, I'm so sorry. What happened? I don't know, I guess it's the typical story. We met, fell in love, I wanted to settle down and start a dog family. She just, I mean, she said she was ready to, but, you know, we both are really busy with our crazy jobs. What do you do? I fix fax machines and blackberries. Oh, nice. So we had these high pressure careers and thought getting a dog would anchor us emotionally, but... But she didn't know what she was signing up for. Yes! She was always saying, I just want my freedom. Can't we open this relationship? And it's like, hello, we are dog parents now. Oh, oh, oh, and then she was all, do you want to go out for dinner on our 10th anniversary? Oh my God. I know. And I'm like, uh, and leave Rocco? Why don't we just leave him at a kill shelter or a fire station while we're at it? So what happened? I mean, it was fine. We just ate some hot pockets out of the freezer, but it's like, come on, we made a commitment to Rocco. Right? You shouldn't have to carry that burden alone. No one should. And plus Rocco's a Libra, so you know he's absorbing all that negative energy. Oh, totally. Oh, poor thing. Oh, but look, he's playing so nicely with Pepper. They're playing so nicely. That's Pepper? The white Frenchie? He's so cute. But he's a she, actually. Oh, sorry, I couldn't tell from here. No, no, no, no, it's fine. A lot of people make that mistake. Pepper wasn't socializing while at Puppy Kindergarten. She wasn't sharing any of her squeaky toys with any of the other. I'm sorry. Where does Pepper attend? Oh, well, we started at St. Augustine's down in the village, but we transferred to Gotham Canine Academy after two months. Oh, wow. That's such a great school. I've heard it's like the Princeton of Puppy Kindergarten's. They do have great academics. I will say that. That's what everyone says. Well, you know, last he went there. I heard Toto and Rintintin. Oh, and didn't Snoopy go there? He never graduated. Right, right, right, got it, got it, yeah. You know, I was going to apply for Rocco in fall, but someone told me they don't really allow Terriers in. No, no, that's not true. I mean, maybe 50 years ago, but things have really changed. Yeah. In fact, there's a Jack Russell in the Puppy Kindergarten class below Pepper. Oh, no way, really? Yeah, they let him in. Huh, okay, well, you know, maybe I'll look into it. I was just worried because everyone says you have to be a Plymouth puppy to attend Gotham and trace your dog's lineage back to the Mayfriars. No, no, no, I don't think that's true. I mean, they just really want to get to know you and Rocco and make sure you're the right fit for the school. I read in Vanity Fair that the interview process is something else. Oh, well, that part's true. We had to do seven interviews. Seven? Seven. But Pepper has dyslexia, so they wanted to make sure she could handle the workload. Yeah, sure, sure, I get it. But, you know, puppy schools are so competitive nowadays. Oh, shit, and it all puts so much pressure on our poor dogs. So much, thank you. I think all these high-pressure puppy kindergarten are leading to unhappy dogs. Yeah, I think we're seeing that. It's like you've just learned house training and now it's sitcom, vet shake, it's just... Yeah, it's like, can't we just let them be dogs? Exactly! Can we just let them be dogs? Totally! So, this being said, and I hope this isn't rude, if I did want to send Rocco to Gotham canine, do you mind if I ask exactly how expensive? Oh, it's not too bad. Gotham is only $45,000, but when you think about it, Harvard and Amherst are each $1,600. It's really a bargain. Where they stick you is the endowment. Oh, like the save the wolf or something? I mean, how much is the... Oh, and the field trips. Those are extra. Those add up. Last year they flew all the puppies to Barcelona. Oh, how fun! No! No, it was a shit show! What, were the flights delayed? No, we got there and none of the puppies spoke any Spanish. We were trying to teach them on the plane, but they wouldn't listen. And then they all got ringworm on the flight home. It was a literal shit show at 35,000 feet. Oh, that is a shame. No, no, no, no. I mean, Gotham's a great school. Pepper's having a really great semester. She's making some great friends. You know, I'm glad to hear you say that, because I was just hoping that Gotham would really help Rocco build a network. Sometimes I worry he's too much of a loner. No, no, the connections are great. I mean, Pepper's in a great pack in school. See, that's what I mean. It's like I just want Rocco to be able to go to any park, any dog park in the city and have someone there he knows. To feel comfortable. Of course. You know, Gotham canine can open up a lot of doors for your dog. You know, I'm going to start working on the application when I get home. Well, start now, because that app takes forever. Pepper has really bad ADHD, so I could never get her to sit still long enough to tell me what's going on inside her emotional center for an essay. We've had that problem with Rocco. It's like she sees one tennis ball and suddenly, oh, well, I guess we're not riding your community service essay. Gosh, I swear it's like none of the puppies today can focus anymore. No attention span. I mean, the meds have helped Pepper a little with her focus. Oh, which ones? I had her on Prozac, but it wasn't really helping her, so then we switched her over to Well-Beatron. Did that help? It was giving her low self-esteem and worms. Well, that tracks. No, I decided Western medicine was not going to help our little Pepper. So that's why I met this ayahuasca shaman that just works with dogs. Changed Pepper's whole outlook on the multiverse. Her focus is so much better. Oh, where she was this hyperdog before, now she just, she just stares out the window with her tongue out whenever I read the New Yorker to her. It's total flow state, and she doesn't even eat bacon now. Oh, wow. That is awesome. I heard ayahuasca can be really transformative in dogs. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How did you get Pepper to drink the brew? I've heard the taste is a little rough. It is, but you can get around it. Literally get around. Fleet actually makes an enema kit for dogs. Oh, how convenient. You mean you just, you know... Oh, yeah, yeah, you just, it, it, I mean, it just goes in. Oh, oh, it does, all like on the way? Yeah, yeah, there's, there's a little nozzle, and then you just, you know, nothing. No shit. Well, I mean, a little, but you just put down a little pink tarp. It's no big deal. Well, no, sure. Sounds like a really mindful way to enjoy ayahuasca for your dog. I mean, you got to push your finger in a little. The important thing is that Pepper is finally feeling more like herself. Sometimes your dog just needs a little South American plant medicine to feel like a dog. You said it. Plus, she puked about half her body weight, which was good because Pepper was getting a little soft dig. Well, she looks great now. Oh, look, look at her chase that leaf. So cute. Wow, thanks. Pepper's doing so much better. Are you making it too easy? And where's yours? I don't see you. Oh, Rocco's just over there. It looks like he found an old tennis ball. Oh, he seems very happy. Look how he's playing with that cute golden. Aw, that's sweet. Aw, that's a plane. Yeah, he's definitely chasing it. Oh, oh, oh, it's looking a little rough there. Oh, Rocco likes to horse around with bigger dogs and wrestle. Um, yeah. Well, I think it was wrestling. It might be something else now. Uh, Rocco's still just a big puppy. Oh, oh, oh, this is turning into two pups, one cup. Oh, no. Rocco, get off her bad, bad dog. No humping. No humping, Rocco. Oh, now I think they're just like 69-ing. Bad Rocco, bad dog. That is inappropriate touching. No, Rocco. No, no, no. I think Rocco's going for third base. Uh, I'm so embarrassed. Let me let him go get him. Rocco, uh, that is not the boy I raised. Bad dog, I told you, you gotta ask first. Always ask. What's wrong with you, Rocco? Gotta start calling you Epstein. Are you okay? Yeah, yeah, sorry. Had to see that. He just, he gets all amped up when he sees Retrievers. Golden fever, they call it. Oh, I get it. I think everybody goes through a golden phase. Yeah, I'll admit, I dabbled a little bit with goldens during my sophomore year in college, but I was just experimenting. I think that's only natural. There's always a curiosity about what it feels like. A lot of people don't know this, but when I was in grad school, I had a pit bull. No, no way. Yeah, obviously my parents weren't thrilled, but they got over it once they got to know him. Is it true what they say about pit bulls and them? Oh, oh, yeah. It's totally true. Huge, hugely sweet with children, really adorable. So gentle. Huh, huh, that's what I've heard. So funny. Yeah. I've heard news. I'm trying to be a nice mommy for the entire park. Hey, I just, I wanted to tell you that I've really enjoyed talking to you. You know, if you ever wanted to grab a cup of coffee, we could maybe. Holy shit, he's taking it up. Rocco is dropping anchor. I'm so sorry. Rocco, are you okay? Oh, oh, he is doing some volume. Hang on, Rocco. Daddy's coming. Oh, oh shit. Oh no, I left my poop bags at home. Damn it, I'm, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, but is there any chance I could borrow one from you? Oh, oh, yeah. Of course, I think I have some extra bags in my purse. Let me just find them. Ah, here. Okay, thank you. Oh, these are nice. Uh, leather poop bags? Suede. I got them from Hermes, but it's like the Birken. You have to have already bought their other poop bags before they sell you these. Sure, sure, sure. Makes total sense. Great. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, God, so soft. Oh, oh, yeah. No, no, it's, no, it's no problem. You know, I just, I gotta take care of business. No, no, it's okay. I mean, I just, I gotta go. Do you, do you need any help? No, no, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry. Hey. Yeah? What's your name? My name's Peter. What's yours? It's Susan. And this is Pepper. Hi, Pepper. Hi, Susan. Hi, Peter. That's Rocco, but he's still a little busy right now. Yeah, I can see that. It was, it was really nice talking to you. I, I guess I, I should go. Hey, hey Peter. Yeah. How would you like to grab dinner sometime? Well, I, I'd like that a lot. Me too. And hey, I have a question for you. Shoot. Do you have any wet wipes I can use for Rocco? I fed him wagyu beef tartare with a quail egg, but don't think the quail egg was organic. Of course. Poor Rocco. Do you want aloe or chamomile? Oh, let's do aloe and finishing wipe with the chamomile. Oh, that's good thinking. Thanks. Now come on over here and let's do a clean up in aisle six. You bet, Peter. Come on, Pepper. God, it's so nice to meet someone who gets it. Oh, for me too. I'm, I'm so glad we met. That must be my lucky day. Must be. Now here, you just hold his tail up and I will just. Got it. Okay, now I'm going to wipe in a counterclockwise rotation. Oh, geez. It's like a Jackson Pollock painting. Oh, oh, just breathe, Rocco. Hang in there, Rocco. Daddy's still wiping. Just wait. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Too many. Downed In Dog Park was written and directed by Christoph Le Pucca. Editing and sound design by Luke Allen and Lindsay Jones. Music by Lindsay Jones. Theme music by Luke Allen. Starring Kim Donovan, Erin Gold, and Mimi Mountains. Produced by Christoph LePucca and Luke Owen. Executive produced by Amish Jhani. You have been listening to another episode of Don't Push the Moose. To discover more, go to LeviathanAudioProductions.com or follow us on social media. The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to cinders and armies scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world. Praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old school adventuring and it's most cruel. The torch ticks down in real time and when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s and man, it is so good to be back! Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on youtube.com slash the Glass Cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. This is a very dangerous thing to be. Those who came before me, elders of all stripes, they do not want to see our kind gone. And they will do anything to keep their power. And for myself and for Grace who created me, that is a sword that hangs above our heads. And the worst person of all carries our secret and he will use it however he sees fit. Who do you look to when things are at their darkest? From the creators of Park del Haunt comes Woodbine, a podcast about monsters, dreams and changes. Those you want and those you never saw coming. Season 2 arrives September 24th, distributed by Realm. A packed adventure will take them across the world fighting for every clue they can find. It's one heck of a tale, which is good because this story might be the only thing that can save their lives. Well if that's all I can just dispose of you. Wait what? All will be revealed in Sonic the Hedgehog presents the Chaotix Case Files. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts.
