Bobby’s Dog Died on Fancy’s B Day

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What did you get him for his birthday? What, what, Matt-a-homo? Matt-a-homo? That's what you are doing. Is that a good banger? I don't know. Matt-a-homo? Carlos left. You pay him. Yeah. Matt-a-homo. That's the best you could do? Yeah. My dog died. Let's talk about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about your dog got on Fancy's birthday. What's that? That's you on the cruise. No, dude. Look at how much fun you were having on the cruise. Just cruise, Bob. Bobby on a boat cruising. Who are these two friends of yours? I have no idea. I'm never going on a cruise again, dude. I think it's a good idea. This is what happens. So which of the girls... I don't know who they are! Which of those girls did you end up being... None of them. None of them. Who said they don't use three times? He appeared out of nowhere That's the funniest thing you've ever said Oh that's funny I have no idea who they are They look sweet This is what happened that night You have your mom's eyes Holy shit I'm Bobby Mom in there What happened that night? So I did a show okay look at that rolling stone shirt i have on and uh i did a show did we talk about the cruise no oh this is the first time we've meeting we have we haven't been together in weeks oh weeks weeks can i take this off it's like some reason distracting leave it on you're a bull i know but okay it's it's actually aligned perfectly because right above the tail is your face and that's where that should be okay so what happened this night all right so um well let's talk about the cruise in general yeah adam divine anders and blake did a cruise called this is important cruise yes and um all i did was um the only person i saw mostly it was swartzen yeah nick nick called me a bunch yeah yeah we ate a lot and then sometimes eric griffin would show up right and we'd be like oh fuck because i have to pay for it when you're eating when you're when he shows up you have to pay for it you're like oh my god here goes the pill wait a minute it wasn't free a thousand dollars it wasn't free on the cruise no because you have to pay extra for the good stuff yeah yeah yeah before the cruise i'll tell you this get this out of the get this out of the way okay okay my my dog dies right right your dog died right you say what i love you and i'm i love you i'm sorry yeah my empathy this and that right broke my heart right right andrea's nothing you Nothing? Nothing. Carlos, nothing. I meant to say how tasty. And then, what? How tasty was it? Okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let that sit. Let us ponder that. No one say a word, okay? And I'm going to answer that question right now. It's aging right now. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to answer that question right now. Very tasty. Very tasty. Very good. All right. We didn't know. I know. And then McCone, right? Asking for money. What? For the polar plunge. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Asking for money. Did you end up giving him money? No. I refuse. I refuse because my dog died. I'm sorry. Your dog. No. Let's talk about the cruise and the dog because the girls aren't going to talk about the dog. Okay. Okay. I'm taking this off. I like it when it's on. Take it off. Okay. I'll keep it on. Keep it on. It's really funny. All right. Okay. It's sweet looking. You're a bull. Okay. I'm a matador. I'm a matador. All right. So on the cruise, a couple of nightmares happened. What are they? On the cruise. What are they? Okay. So I show up on the boat, and then Nick goes, so you're doing two shows. You know this, right? He told me. And I go, well, yeah, just five, ten-minute spots at these, like, showcases. Like the comedy store. He thinks he's at the store on a cruise. Yeah. I think it's going to be 12 guys on a lineup. Oh, you're up at 945. to fucking 955. You know what I mean? And Nick goes, no, you're headlining a theater. Yeah, they give you money to play a show on the boat. I had no idea. Okay. Right? So I got off the boat. You left the boat. I got right off. Okay. And I'm calling people. I'm like, you know what I mean? You're calling your agent. I can't, I didn't sign up for this. You literally did sign up for it. Yeah, but I didn't know. Well, okay. Yeah, yeah. So when you don't know, you don't know. Right. It's like the war in Iran right now. we do know we don't know what we don't know we kind of know why we're in uh we don't know why we're going i can give you some hints yeah yeah i know but we're not a political show yeah we don't want to talk about it but it's the same thing as iran i don't know what i don't know why we're doing okay that's subliminal enough so we don't know why we don't know what yeah we do so i so get back on the boat because i guess i have to do it contractually and then um yeah you already said yes you signed up they paid you right so we go to um i go to the first show you know packed theater it's a fucking theater sold out but it's rocking back and forth i don't know if you know this mid show you're in it's waving you're in the middle of the ocean all right i didn't know you're doing stand up like this dude it's insane yeah but you had physical too right so you're doing double things you're balancing and doing physicality double duty double duty double duty baby yeah yeah and i have to say right that that first show fucking crush it was incredible incredible one of the best shows you've ever done probably wow what i get off i'm like oh shit i'm a cruise comic now yeah dude you know what i mean i this is i could do this forever bobby On the high seas. Yeah, on the high seas, right? And then the second show happens two days later. What happened? The same people come. Same show. The same exact people come. No. How many people are on the boat? Thousands, right? All I know is this. The first eight rows that I could see, it was the same eight rows in the first row. Wearing the same clothes? No, but I know their faces and stuff. Because you run into them on the ship. Right. You know everybody. Right. You know what I mean? Hey, Jim. Hey, Cliff. Samantha, how was the little poof-poole? Or whatever. The pool pool? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Tanya! You know you do. Right? People are gambling. Right. People come on over and play blackjack. Okay, Frank, Nikki. Okay. Frank and Nikki. Nikki. Yeah, what's wrong with Frank? Yeah, yeah. Hey, Nikki. They were on the boat. Hey, Nikki. Okay. Anyway. Same show. Same show, right? I go up there, right? One minute in. Ask anybody that was there. silence tanking tanking wait why i'd seen it already a day before but how much time did you do 45 minutes okay you're sinking okay well you yeah i was thinking it was bad yeah yeah it was titanic for me then three minutes in i was like i just stopped the show you didn't you acknowledged it oh i had to you had to be like i stopped i go everyone's heard this before right the whole audio goes yeah and i go well you're just gonna sit again what else you know what i mean you did this same act again no i started doing jokes like so it was so in the first uh show there was like three of my pretty good jokes that i completely forgot to do from your special from my special okay right so i put it put those back in those killed and then i would go back into these other Other jokes and start bombing again. Because they already heard it. They didn't laugh again even though they heard it. And here's – dude. The photo was incredible. You sent me your dog. What is it with you guys taking pictures of dead things? It's like his dad's dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sends me a photo immediately. His dog dies. Sends me a photo immediately. Yeah. By the way, the photo of the dog is – It's so sad. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they wrapped him up in a little like swaddling – like in a manger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like a little baby Jesus. Baby Jesus, yeah. So – Bojo. Anyway, I – Bojo? No, it was Remy. It was Remy. Yeah. So anyway, I continued to bomb. You're bombing bad. Bombing bad. And I just took my clothes off. Yeah, you know how I do it. There's always an answer. There's an answer to every problem. There is. And when that problem is tough enough, you take your clothes off. You take off your clothes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's an adult cruise, and you've got a great body now, because thanks to… Life in prison, right? First day, right? Take your clothes off. Take your clothes off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't fight the biggest guy. Problem solved. Take your clothes off. Right. You accept. Right? And you get stretched. And you got stretched. I got stretched out. So you killed on the second show because you got naked. I bombed. No, the first show killed. Second show, I had to survive. And you did. Yeah. You fought and survived. Although, I had to do bingo night. Naked? No. Bingo night was fun because I did it with Griffin. And I decided to do, you know, my prayers. Oh, yeah. For Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did my house. So I told the whole audience, there were probably 250 people there, all right, get on your knees, right? Everyone else, right? And you did a prayer? And I took the mic, and I did the longest prayer about the ocean, and how about the sea dwelling? We can't even go deep enough. Yeah. Because it's the mystery. We haven't even discovered the species down – you know what I mean? And went on and on and on. It was so – that was fun. So you killed. Killed that. And then so this photo – let's go back to this photo. Yeah, this photo for the people at home. So there's this thing called – Two wonderful women are there. One of them is wearing lingerie, so it seems. And this is where? This after hours? Okay, what are you zooming at my hand for? It's above the waist. The positioning is right. Yeah, the positioning was very el correcto. So give us this. Give these two young ladies that are on the boat with you. Okay, so this is the night I bombed. Is that the captain? What? That's the captain on the left? Yeah, that's the captain of the ship. She drove the boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the one on the right is – Yeah, we hit three icebergs. There's four. We barely survived. Yeah, there's four icebergs there. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So that – I don't know if you – have you never been on a cruise ship? Never. I won't. Yeah. Also, I'm going to pitch you – Please. Yeah, the Bad Friends Cruise Show. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to do it. Yeah, you are. No. Yeah, it's so fun. I don't want to be on a boat. It's so fun. All right, I'll do it. But I'm telling you right now, at the end of the day, I'm glad I went. It was worth it. Oh, my God. It was so worth it because you're with all your friends. Yeah. And that area is called the Haven. So it's like we're separated from everyone. Oh, you're in your private – So it's like eight luxurious – you know what I mean? Cabins? Cabins. Ah. And in the middle of it is a pool, steam room, jacuzzi open 24 hours. and 24-hour catering. Just for you. Just for me. Comics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for the comics. Yeah, I mean, Griffin was down with everyone. No, was he really? Wow. Oh, my God. Yeah, Griffin was down with everyone. So you invited these two friends to the Haven, and he couldn't get up to the Haven? He couldn't get to the Haven. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never saw him in the Haven for one time. He was complaining the whole time. Now, how did these girls get into the Haven? I have no idea. But I was just sitting there and after I bawled. With their wings. What did you say? With their wings. They got into the haven. They seemed like they had passes. God, dude. Dude, when you're – for your birthday, dude, you're on. Yeah. I don't know how – you know, I think it was the manager of the boys that popped them up. Right. just sitting there they go can we take a photo let's do a funny photo how about you know we you know the breast thing and i'm like all right so i did a funny eye thing and i never saw them again you never saw either of these women again but this photo got on the internet it's a great photo yeah yeah i mean you look good they look good yeah this looks like a fun night yeah well i mean it was you killed it uh it was a it was a fun experience and then we went to Mexico and me and Eric went to a little... You went to Jalisco? We got tacos at a little restaurant, walked back. And then you turned around and came back? We came back and then went straight to Philly, yeah. This guy, let's give it up for this guy. And I want to ask you a question as a friend and as a comrade, okay? And as a brother. Yeah. Okay? Okay. And as a... Search. What? Searching. Yeah, yeah. lover okay is this I can say this I did a scene on a show and my scene was opposite Stavros love one of the funniest guys alive killing it and I in the scene there was a lovely actress sitting on my lap and we're having a conversation in between takes right i look at the actress and i go excuse me can i smell your armpit and she goes yeah yeah so i smelled it and the stavrook goes you can't do that wait why in the middle of the scene no it was between oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that you can't yeah you can middle of this if it's in the middle of the scene no it wasn't in the scene it wasn't a part of the show no oh that's an interesting move no i asked hold a minute what i asked the question can i smell your armpit now i go may i i said may i do you think that she what as a joke i go may i smell your armpit as a joke that's a bit as a bit and she goes yes you can so what and the stavros goes you can't do that and you did i did it and did that cause a rift no it was fine but my point is is that what do you think i think you shouldn't have done it Why? You know what? I support you always. I know, but why? It's not a... What did you need to smell her armpit for? Would Andrew have done it? No. In a million years no In a million years no but we already hung out I knew her right oh was this a flirtatious no it wasn a flirtatious she married oh yeah yeah it was just a joke i was like because she was it was right here i go can i smell your arm may i smell your armpit okay to your credit she's sitting on you you're in the scene together yeah yeah arm is around they say cut right they're setting up a different thing but like don't move because we're just doing a little adjustment you want to know if she's what you want to just i don't think that wasn't even in the thinking anyway it was just something like as a joke i go hey can i smell your armpit did it get a laugh yes she laughed she laughed that's fine it killed she laughed stavros goes um you can't do that he's jealous that's a pure case of jealousy thank you that's i would like to be able to smell her armpit but i can't yeah why can't we smell things we should i think that's uh we should if you ask nicely if you say may i yeah yeah and you said may i smell May I smell? She gave you one big huff. Yes. What did it smell like? Purity. Purity. Purity as an essential oil, like an essential oil. You had a lot of fun. The last couple of weeks you've been cruising. My dog died. You got three more. A couple more dogs. It was the worst. It was awful. It was awful. It was awful. Bring the girls in. Bring the girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel bad that the dog died. Broke my heart. Wow. Wow. Look at this for Fancy's birthday. And you guys wanted to sing your song that you guys wrote. In Spanish. And you've been rehearsing it. Last night, they were watching the Harry Styles thing. Who wasn't? Who wasn't? Is that what that line is for on Melrose? Is that for Harry Styles? Do you know what I'm talking about? He likes watching you? Look up line in Los Angeles on Melrose. Somebody told me it was for Harry Styles, but there's been a line for like four days straight. What's going on? A line on the streets of Melrose for Harry Styles. Is he releasing an album, like signing or something? He already released his new album, but it's on Netflix. Okay, look at this. Fans line up overnight for Harry Styles' L.A. pop-up. Dude, it was around the block. Because it's Harry. But you just waited outside to do what? He's not there. He's not there. But maybe merch? Maybe merch. Maybe merch. All right, so sing Fancy Be the Song. Well, so last night they were watching the Harry Styles thing, and then I heard them say, well, I know that it's Andreas' birthday. It is. Let's write, you know what I mean, a song for his birthday. And I heard them rehearse it. Let's hear it. And I can't wait to hear it. Ready? Yeah, and I know that, Issa, you start off with the first verse, right? So let's go. Let's go. I'm excited. I'm so excited. Happy birthday, by the way. Here we go. Here's the present. That's fine. Happy birthday to Andreas. mi amor mi amor we love you happy birthday yeah now you guys rehearsed that for how many hours about three hours she wrote yeah she sat down and wrote it it was beautiful we should give Andres his gift We bought him – you guys know he's been wanting a new car for a long time. You got him a car? We decided he's going to get a Tesla. A Tesla, yep. Oh, my gosh. But we got you a Cybertruck. Is that okay? Yeah, that's fine. But it's a toy one, right? There you go. There you go. Thank you, guys. That cost – you know how much that cost? $4.95, then. So happy birthday. Happy birthday, dude. And your daughter can go right here in the back. In the back. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Right in the back of the Cybertruck. Yep. Thank you, guys. And if you look inside, it's one of his androids, his new robot. Yeah, yeah. He's in the other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. Yeah, yeah. Here you go, man. Yeah. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, bud. Okay. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. What a good song you guys sung. What a great song, guys. By the way, you both look. Yeah. Both look like you might be. Latina? Latina. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might be. That's a compliment. You more than you, though. Issa? Yeah, because the style is right. Well, she put all the effort. She did the whole thing. Yeah, Isa also is wearing more of a Spanish. Traditional Spanish. Yeah. You're more like Hollywood, what a Mexican would look like. Like Dances with Wolves-y. Yes. You're more Dances with Wolves-y kind of a native. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She looks like she busts tables at Casavega. Casavega, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hymns. I love Hymns because they take care of all my needs. They do. When hair starts to thin, confidence can too. That's why HIMSS makes it simple to feel like yourself again with access to simple personalized care that fits your life and your hair goals. 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What happened was, so Remy is a dog that we've had for, I don't know, 15 years. It's going to be a long time. 12 years. Yeah. And one of the fires, he was left at a pound. Not a pound. What do you call it? Yeah, a pound. A pound, yeah. And they said, you know, they had such an influx of animals coming in that Remy was one that they were going to euthanize, right? So Kalilah and I went and picked up Remy as a foster dog. Yeah. Yeah. And we would give Remy to a family. that dog would run away from that family and run toward our house in our direction. That's cute. And he did that twice. So we kept him. You have to. Yeah, we have to keep Remy. You have to. And Remy is... What a beautiful dog he was. And so on Friday he was at... Because he sometimes stays at our house and then sometimes at Kalilah's house. Right. And at this time he was at Kalilah's house and she just said... She killed him. i knew it i knew it she strangled him to death she strangled him to death i knew it i saw that coming yeah yeah so he died at her home no no no go ahead she told me when i was babysitting there like oh i think remy's telling me that um it's time no and he was just she was just crying and remy was just like he couldn't even move anymore he couldn't pee like on his own. It breaks my heart. Yeah. And he couldn't, yeah, he wouldn't eat and then she just called me and she's like, she goes, I go, can we do it Wednesday? Can he die Wednesday? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do it Wednesday? Can we schedule the death for Wednesday? Like, not tomorrow. Yeah. Can we do Wednesday? I'm free Wednesday. Yeah, yeah. Because Thursday I have therapy. You got stuff to do. So that I can process it. Right. You know what I mean? Let him die on Wednesday. Yeah, yeah. And she's like, tomorrow. He's got to go. So we go to Kalala's house and the whole process is weird. Number one, I've never – the seven animals that I have are the first animals I've ever bonded with. I love them so much and I spend a lot of time with the animals. So I don't know what the process is like. So we're at the house and – why is it so quiet in here? We're listening to you. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, a lady comes over, right? And it's very... He starts flirting. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He starts flirting. Why did she have to be so hot? Yeah, she went in. Oh, my God. She was so pretty. The nurse that came over? Oh, my God. That came by. It was like, that's my wife. Yeah. Yeah, and immediately he started making jokes. Yeah. And everyone just, like, looked at him weirdly. Yeah, but she was beautiful. And you were in a time of need. You were stressed. I understand this. Yeah, I was like doing. He was vulnerable. No, but we were crying. And then he was crying as well. But he was crying for pussy. He was crying for help. Yeah. I was doing a grasshopper walks into a bar. Barter says, hey, we have a name today after you. You have a grasshopper with Steve or whatever the fucking joke is. You got it. Yeah, I was like. You got it. That was it. Yeah, whatever the joke was. Home run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was doing that. And then she gets serious. and she's like, this is the process. Do you know what the process is like or no? No, I don't. I'm sad to not know yet. Do you want to know or no? I guess, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's two shots. Yeah. Two gunshots. Yes. Yeah. One seems like enough for the dog. One to the heart. One to the heart. One to the head. Wow. Couldn't you just do one? Yeah. I mean, tough dog. I was semi. Remy was a tough dog. Yeah, tough dog. Two shots. And he was still going, he was still like hanging in there. He was hanging in there. He was hanging in there. Two shots. Yeah, yeah. Two shots. Yeah, so the first shot's full of volume, other things, sedatives, you know what I mean? Make it feel nice. The calm. Make it nice. You know what I mean? And he did a face like, you know, like one of those. At peace. At peace. And then the second shot is the thing. And then... That was it. Well, no, I'm not done. Oh, sorry. What the fuck, bro? Sorry about that. I assume the second shot was kind of... That's not the end. It's like an A24 movie. Sometimes the ending, it just goes off. Like, you know Lord of the Rings, the third one? It's a little too long. It should have ended when, you know what I mean, they all bowed to the hobbits. Remember that? You know what I mean? No, you don't bow. We bow. And everyone bowed. And you're crying. It should have ended there. Yeah. But that's not what this movie is about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This movie is going to continue and it's not going to have a point. Got it. I'm logged in. He had to do a speech. When Remy died. You said you wanted to do a speech, and that's when the vet was like, okay, you can do your speech. No, it wasn't a speech, Juliana. I went up to Remy. I whispered something in his ear. That's not a speech. What did you whisper in his ear? But you were making a big deal out of it. Well, it's dead. It's a big deal. What did you whisper in his ear? Wait, wait. This is pissing me off. Wait, wait, wait. Was the vet still there? Yeah. This is pissing me the fuck off. I know what's going on. No, you don't know what's going on. They're lying. It sounds like they're telling the truth. They're pan-bondying it. Don't pan-bondy the situation. All right? Now, 50%. Now, listen. That's what you're doing. So check it out, okay? I wanted to... I wanted to whisper something into Remy's ear is what I was doing. No, but before that, you were like, can I just say something for everyone? And what did I say? You were just like, this dog has been... You just did a whole thing. And then you just kept looking at the butt. You're a liar. I'm not. Liar. I'm not. Okay. Anyway, I did a speech. What did you say in his ear? I think I did a speech. I'm taking this off. I'm fucking taking this off. I'm taking this off. I don't care. What did you say in his ear? Sweating, right? What did you say? I just basically said thank you, and I love you so much, and I'll see you again. You know, when death occurs, like my dad – You said the same thing to your dad. And I did a selfie. When death occurs. I believe that when death occurs, it's a weird feeling. I always believe I'm going to see them again. You will. I always believe they're still with me. I'm going to see them again. And so it's almost like I'll see you soon. Maybe because I'll die soon. I don't know. I hope not. Yeah, me neither. But I just feel like I'm going to see them again. And I don't know, man. That was one of the toughest. We're making light of it and stuff like that. But it was tough, man. It was really hard. I wailed. I wailed. When you put him in that swaddling picture that you sent me of him in like a bed. It was like a bed that you made? No, they bring it. They brought the bed. Yeah. And then they take it away or do you want Remy on your property? What do you mean? Well, people bury their animals in their yard all the time. No, he's being cremated. They live in an apartment. They're going to get the ashes. I'm going to bring Remy back to my house and bury him in my backyard? People do do that. That's very... Yeah, I have his hair. Yeah. You did. Yeah. But that's not abnormal. People do bury their animals in their backyard. But the hair between the sack and the bub hole, I wanted that hair. You wanted that? Yeah. You wanted his nifkin. It's not even funny. No, it was very good. It's not even funny. It's not even that funny. You know what I mean? So they cremated... Who shot the ashes? I think us. I think us. Yeah. You don't know? You don't know where the ashes are? Yeah, we do. It's us. Oh, we're still living. We just said it, dude. Okay, I got it. All right? Get with it. Yeah so they bring their own bed and then it their own blanket and they have flowers Yeah Right And they just kind of take them away And he goes, you know what I'm tired of, dude? Because I didn't post about my dog dying on TikTok or Instagram, right? Yeah. I'm tired of. This is a photo when we first met, right? This is the last photo taken together. I fucking hate that shit. Well, dude, two months later, the skeleton. You know what I mean? I mean, this is two years later. I mean, why don't you keep going with it then? Right, why not? Yeah, yeah. My point is that it's not something to – I don't want many people to go, oh, I'm so sorry. I know we're talking about it here on this podcast. We're going to get a sympathy a lot after this airs for sure. But that's not where – I mean, this is a podcast and we tell our fans what really is going on. You just didn't want the attention. Yeah, but to post it, I felt like it was weird. Who was posting it? Not us. I'm just saying when people do it – It's like when people lose their dogs and stuff, they post about it. Yeah, yeah. They do a thing. They do a video. They set up a camera and they do a thing. Yeah, yeah. Ring light and everything. Yeah, but it was – There it is. First and last photo. Yeah, first and last photo. Oh, my God. I do cry when I – Well, see, some of these are weird because both died, the person and the dog in some of these. Oh, they did? Yeah, that kid died tragically. Oh, it is. The dog is still alive. Oh, it is? The dog is thriving. That's terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know what? A wonderful run. and you're going to get another dog again. No, I'm not. You've got to get one. No, no, no, no. You've got to do it. Dude, I'm down to six now. Get it up to seven? No, no, no, no, no. Six is good. Six is enough? Yeah, we have three cats and three dogs. It's a perfect family. It's a good number. It's a good number. What are you going to miss most about the dog? Oh, my God. About Remy? I love when dogs... We have one dog that's a betrayer. Ooh. Oh, stubby. Yeah. Because Stubb loves everyone. So it's not just you. Yeah. If you walked in the house, Stubb would hop on you. Best friend. Best friend. Great dog. Yeah. Right? But Remy wasn't like that. Remy's like, no, you're my guy. Loyal just to you. Yeah, yeah. Julio's like that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goonie's not like that. Our cat. Our orange cat. Goonie's a slut. Yeah, Goonie's a slut. Yeah, cats are either sluts or they don't talk to anybody at all. Yeah, yeah. That's why I love Bojo, my white cat, because he only loves me. If I'm laying down, he comes right to my chest and lays there. Just for you. Just for me. Right. So Remy was like that. And so I had a special bond with him in that way. And I don't know. I'm going to miss him a lot. Where's the joke? Where's your joke, guy? No, I didn't. You hear that one? I wanted you to get that out. Oh, yeah. You should have a joke there, guy. Yeah, but your dog died. Take the hat off. I really like it. Mad homo. I'm sad that your dog died. Yeah, it's devastating. And also, you know, I played with my dog a lot when you told me your dog died. Really? Took her outside and went nuts. Yay. Got her extra treats. How old is she? She's eight. Oh, my God. Eight's a good number, though. She's good. She's cruising. It's a good number. But she is eight. Yeah. She's not young. It's, you know, no one ever told, you know, when you buy, not buy, when you get a puppy, you're like, you just go, oh. But you just don't, you know, I had no idea that you could literally bond with it like it's family. Yeah, it is. And then all of a sudden, oh, it's like my kid almost. Yeah, no, it is. That kind of connection, right? It sucks. It sucks. It just sucks, man. Well, I think there's millions of people that are, well, the fans who have that experience, they know. It sucks, but good memories. Good memories. Can I get some towels cleaned? Oh, my God. I will. When was the last time you did laundry? Mama, our mom, did laundry two days ago. But no towels. No towels. I'll do it tonight. Will you? I will. I will. Does that sound real? Well, what happens? Do you wash, you fold? Yeah. Just like the old days. Can I be honest with you? And this is not a joke, right? I've never seen them do. Oh, my gosh. This is not a joke. You've never seen them do laundry? I've never seen them do anything. Well, the mom does. Except lay down and watch, you know what I mean, HBO. Right. You're always in your room. So how could you see us clean? That's why you never see us. What? You're always in your room. Yeah. So how could you see us? Guess what, guy? I'm like daredevil. Okay? I have seven senses. Wow. He knows. He knows. I have touch, right? Right, Carlos? Right? I have touch. I have vision, right? But I also have hearing abilities, right? And I know what a fucking, you know what I mean? Washer sounds like when it goes off. And a dryer. What does it sound like? So when I'm in my room, my other senses don't receive those sounds. Those frequencies. Those frequencies. Okay. I'm daredevil. Yeah. Okay. I have hypersonic, you know what I mean? I'm like a bat to echo. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. No fucking dryer. No dryer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll wash tonight. Okay, my senses better feel it. My senses better feel it. I'll fold it nicely too. Like your mom does. I will. Do you know how to do it in the circular fashion? We'll call her to confirm. No, it's kind of like that, though. It's like a circular, like, I don't know where they learn it. It's great. Maybe from the islands or something, but it's a beautiful way of doing it. Well, on the boat ride over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if you fold it standard, like, just fold it like a fucking, you know what I mean? Square? No, no, no comprendo. No comprendo, right? I want fucking circular, perfectly, in the fucking, you know what I'm saying? I'll ask my mom. We'll call her. My favorite is Issa using the fan. Like it is outside. and she's in the middle of a hot summer day in Mexico. She's getting into it. Yeah, no, I love that. Get in character. And then we, another thing is we, I showed them the movie. What movie did I show you? The Edge of Tomorrow? Yeah, pretty good movie. That's a great movie. You guys watch that together? Mm-hmm. You see it? I watched... Have you ever seen that movie? Yeah, years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched the George Clooney movie this past weekend with my parents, where he's an actor. He's himself. He plays himself. Is Sandler in it? Yeah. Oh, there you are. He's his manager. Good? Jay Kelly. Good? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it was okay. It's hard. It's just Clooney being Clooney. It's like literally him playing. It's like a narrative of his real life. And it just made me think how good it's got to be to be Clooney. What's that? Oh, what's that? Someone here? Is there a delivery? I tell you, we have another delivery. Another birthday gift for you. Another car? No, look. Give it up. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh. Taco Bell. I got your Taco Bell, Andres. What's the order that you gave him? I got beef, potato, griller, chicken, bacon, chalupa, large fries, another large fries. But I already ate the fries. Thank you. You ate both of the fries. Yeah. Smart. That's the best part. Have you ever had Taco Bell? Not really. It's not Spanish. It's not. What is it? How is it not Spanish? How is it not Spanish? Taco. Taco and bell. There's so many bells in Spain, dude. It's a whole country. That's what it was invented, I think. The bell. Take a bite. Don't just look at it. Take a bite. It's so disrespectful. She went out of her way to buy it. Yeah. Take a bite and give us an honest review. Is that a gordita? No, this is a chicken bacon. What did you get? Chalupa. Chicken bacon chalupa. Chalupa, yeah, yeah. Take a bite and let's see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chalupa. Mmm. Good, right? Mmm. You like it? It's like the homeland. No? No, okay. You don't like it? We'll give it to McCone. He'll eat it. You know he'll eat anything. What does chalupa mean? A fried tortilla, the shape of a boat with a spicy feeling. But it's made up. It's a taco. It says right there in Spain and Latin America, it's a small light boat or canoe. Isn't that what a taco is? A little light boat? A little baby boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a chalupa is... A thicker boat. A thicker boat. It's a thicker boat. It's a fried boat. I see, I see, I see. A fried boat. Like you were on a chalupa at sea. yeah yeah yeah you were on a little i had two chalupas on my face yeah yeah yeah no it means little boat or canoe how do you not know that chalupas look on the horizon a chalupa that's what they would say a little tiny boat also what i've been doing with for these girls is um i set up uh the vr um sandbox yeah yeah did we talk about that already what's a vr sandbox get with the program guy what is it i don't know what it is yeah yeah google me vr sandbox these guys don't know sandbox vr oh that's where you guys went and fought uh shoot zombies i saw that video yeah yeah was that fucking amazing where'd you guys do that at we did that on la siana like more century city yeah that's us your position looks good yeah my My position is great. Look at my position. You know what the funny thing is? He even puts the gun down like a soldier so he doesn't shoot friendly fire. He has to reload it. He even knows. He knows. He's not going to get his own. That's how you reload. Reload. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you reload. You're reloading a lot there. You're shooting a lot. The two girls, the girl I'm seeing and us. And, you know, who got number one? You cheated. You cheated. You bought the laser gun. So, obviously, you'd win. It's all teenagers and then this 54 year old Yeah with a laser gun Wait so you got the upgrade And they didn't get it Wait wait wait Give me all the things Wait wait wait There's two things going on here that made me mad Okay Okay yes Let's do two things I cheated Yeah I cheated I bought the laser gun Did you guys have access to the laser gun? No, I mean the girl I'm seeing got the laser guns And she still couldn't win with a laser gun She took second Wait, what was the upgrade? You had to pay for the laser? And they only gave you two upgrades You're only allowed to have two laser guns So I go, what do you want? I guess I'll take the handgun You know what I mean? Yeah, spraying everywhere No wonder why Play the video, look at his stance The kid's going in On the left, on the right On the left, on the right. Yeah, yeah. You guys screaming, bumping into each other is the funniest part. That's the funniest. Screaming. It was only her, by the way. Yeah, yeah. And then let's address the second thing. One 54-year-old. Do you think I forgot? You don't think I forgot that comment? A 54-year-old? Yeah. You know what, dude? I'm a child. Okay? I play whimsical games. You do. Yeah, yeah. You like that. What did we do yesterday that I set up? Escape room. Escape room. Why do you like those? It was very fun. It was fun. such a white person thing i know but i set things up you mean i'm i'm a guy that plans did you escape yeah we did escape yeah we did who figured out the escape what who figured out the escape um the people that worked there it's like hand hand hand hand right we didn't do shit they told you oh yeah nobody Bobby wasn't the team leader yeah actually we did a lot And then the only thing you were doing was like, I think we got to take a hint. Who took the... Stop. Who took the wire? Well, I opened the thing. Who took the wire with the hook? Who took the wire and the hook, put it in the hole, and got the key out of the contract? But you were screaming. Yeah. Okay. Who did that? You. That was complex. Okay. You were getting angry. You were so angry. You were screaming at her. Screaming at who? The girl. Yeah. My date. Yeah, your date. Yeah, yeah. You were so angry at her. Yeah, because she wasn't doing it right. It's one of those things. Why are you smiling? I'm listening. All right. So basically what this situation is, is this, okay? It's like a gigantic fish, kind of like a fish bowl. Bowl? No, like, yeah, bowl. gigantic one with levels to it right it's like a fiberglass with little tiny holes in it right on the bottom is a key right you stick a all right you stick the the the little you know i mean metal thing with a hook on it inside the tiny hole and then there's another hole she has a stick All right She has a stick as well Right I got it You gotta bring your Bring your stick over To hook mine So then I can stick It out And stick it in the other hole So we can bring it up So we can get it out Of the bigger hole On top Got it Right Yeah That's all I was doing And she couldn't do that We eventually did it Okay We eventually did it But you got in a fight about it It's not a fight about it I was screaming at her I go you're not doing it right No that sounds like a fight No that's just me Being a leader Did she get upset It's me being Pete Hegseth. You're Hegseth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm warring it out, dude. You know what I mean? You got to be a commander. You got to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we did get out. Yeah, on time. We got out on time. Yeah, on time. Yeah. Speaking of touring comedians, this guy, big tour coming up, announced the finally tour. And then I'm done. Prats. I'm done. You're done what? Touring. You're done what? Done. Done stand-up? For a while. I stink. That smells like bullshit. Yeah, you stink too. No, you stink Okay Let me smell your armpits No, but it looks awesome This is your first time Doing a theater tour I wanted to I've never done a theater tour Huh? I've never done one before Well, I wanted to announce that I think it's an important moment In comedy Because most times You've never done a theater tour It's an amazing It's my first one It's incredible So I think it's so cool, dude Yeah, yeah Thank you What are you guys excited about? Coachella Oh, no You're going to go Are you? You're not going Dude, the bar is going Without a way You're going to fucking go to Coachella I had to buy them That is embarrassing You haven't bought it yet. I haven't bought it yet? No, we have a big bill. I know. It's expensive. How much is Coachella to go to? I don't know anything about it. These guys? Google, what is a regular Coachella ticket cost right now? Well, right now, yeah. What is that? What? Do you already know? Yeah, because they're at $1,000 right now. $1,000 a person to go to Coachella? Normally, they're $500, I believe. Holy shit. That's just a regular admission ticket. I went the third year it existed. If you and I went, just you and I went, it'd be free. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just you and I, but you just don't want to go with just you and I. Yeah, but you said you get it from me for my birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's the headliners this year? I don't fucking know. I don't give a shit. Sabrina, Justin Bieber, R.O.G. Sabrina Carpenter. He's only going to go with Tesla at the Tesla car. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, dude. Okay, so wait a minute. Which weekend are you going? I'm sorry, are you Justin Bieber? He's going weekend too. So this is the second weekend. so you guys are going to see Sabrina Carpenter Justin Bieber and who's Carol G am I out am I gone am I stupid I don't know who that is Carol G is bigger than Young Thug who's Carol G she's like a Latino artist why are they putting all these Latino people all over our lives is she playing the Super Bowl next year she's really good Carol G do I get Interpol and Strokes yeah because we know Paul from you know love yeah yeah he's like one of the cool and i love the strokes so i mean that'll be good for me zoom in you'll be there what does it feel like to be on the second night there after bieber go zoom into the second night there what does that feel like to be yamaguchi last on the list that would be bad friends if we headline something Yeah yeah We be after Mahmoud Orban and Reardon Yeah yeah De Spitz and Whatamore Gen C, Bad Friends, and Yamaguchi. Hello, this is Yamaguchi. Are you still coming? I don't know. Why are you coming last? No, no, no. You're first. No, no, no. Because in Japan... No, in your country, don't you read backwards, right to left? But still, in our country, the last name is the last. interesting you know it should go it should go justin bieber and then yamaguchi i don't know we'll work on it okay that's crazy that's crazy david byrne this is really good somber there's some really great stuff yeah royal otis love you guys are gonna have such a fucking fun time i'm so happy i won't be there yeah when is it uh april 11th 17th march april march april april yeah next This month, the 17th through the 19th. A month from tomorrow. Oh, my God. I'm so excited for you guys. You have to come. That's awesome. You got to go. We want you to go. Why? Because it's a long drive. It's an absolute fucking nightmare. It's a nightmare. Yeah. I would never... Remember that one year? Do you remember that one year? So funny. I know we talked about it before. You guys got stuck for like five hours. No, no, no. That's not what it was. Can I tell the story again? Oh, I remember. What is it? Yeah, you called. So I called. Yeah. You called. I called my agents. Yeah. And I go, you know, Kalilah and the girls want to go to, right? Yeah. And they're like, yeah, I pay for it, right? Which was, by the way, ungrateful. You guys do the towels tonight. Do the towels. You do the towels tonight, all right? You want to go to a fuck in the desert? Towels tonight, dude. All of them folded in a circular fashion, okay? So anyway, my agent goes, yeah, all right. I pay for it, right? And the day of, Kalilah goes, you literally have to be there to pick up the tickets at the box office. And I go, I have to drive four hours into the desert and then drive back? You do. And she's like, yeah. And I did that. And you found out when you got there that you didn't have to do that. Yes. Maybe the best part about all of it. You didn't actually have to. I didn't actually have to do that. But you should go to this. Because you're going to have a blast with them. And by the way, you're going to go see some great bands. Interpol is going to fucking rip. I mean, think how many things. There's a lot of bands that you definitely want to see. Moby. Okay. Okay. So here's the thing. This is the this is going to be the first and last time I go to fucking. Yeah. Okay. You already went. I've never been. Yeah. I went to pick up the tickets and I go back. Yeah. Yeah. I never went inside. I'm going to go inside. Yeah. Yeah. I'm telling you right now. I don't care if next year Harry Styles is going to be there. I don't give a fuck. I ain't going. No. All right. So are you sure this is the year you want to go? Yeah. For that weekend with Justin Bieber? I know you're going to love Justin Bieber. You're going to have so much fun. I'm not going to see Justin Bieber. What do you mean? He's on the main stage. I know, but I'm not going to like physically be around him. No, but you're going to be dancing your little heart out to Justin Bieber. I don't know what he's going to be. Sing me a song. Baby, baby. Oh, yeah, I will be. I will be. I will be. I will be. I will be. I will be. And the other one I like is if you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can go and love yourself. My mama don't like you and she likes everyone. You're going to fucking love it. Dude, you're going to have so much fun. It's like the boat. You thought you didn't like the boat. You got on the boat. You had so much fun on the boat. You told me I wasn't going to like the boat. I don't like the boat. I know, but you told me that I was going to have a bad time on the boat. You're projecting. Yeah, because I don't want to do the boat. Can I pitch you the bad friend's boat ride? Yeah, pitch it. Okay. I'm not going to catch it, but pitch it. Okay. You're going to be on a boat. What is it? Okay. So we'll all be there. The girls do, right? Okay. Right. We're on a boat. Okay. We're on a boat. And all of our fans are going to be there. All the fans are going to be there. Yep. Okay. I'm already shaking. It's pretty good, right? I'm shaking. I think my proposal is good so far, right? Okay. Here's the thing. All of our fans are going to be there. On a boat. On a boat. Yeah. All right. You and I will perform. we'll just do two shows in the main stage. One show one night, one show the other night. If the boat is Sunday through Thursday, we'll do a Monday night show and a Wednesday night show. Is that what they usually are, Sunday to Thursday? Yeah. I mean, that's what we did. Okay. Although when we landed, we saw Chelsea Lynn. Getting on the boat. Yeah, they're like, ours are next. Oh, they were doing a boat. The same boat that we were on. Oh, wow. They just flip these boats. They clean it so fast. They flip it, dude. They flip these boats. They flip them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a better proposal. No, no. I'm not done with my proposal. We take – how about this? Okay. We take a flight from L.A. to San Francisco. Yeah. Our fans can buy tickets on that plane. We'll do a little stand-up. It'll be a 45-minute flight. We'll get off, and that'll be it. No. Okay. Okay. Bad friends, air flight. Okay. And then we get to control the lineups. Okay. So we'll call our friends in. Hey, Gillis. Hey. You won't do it. Yeah, Shane Gillis. Already – no. No, we'll call Shane Gillis. You know what? You're right. I'll call Sandler, Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, Louie, and I'll go, guys, we got to do a boat thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get nervous on those things. I know, but it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to really see your fans. I believe in multiple lives, so I'll do it in another life. And also, there's gambling. I do love gambling. Yeah, so there's a casino, and I was playing blackjack all night long. It was so fun. So I do love that. But is it real money? No, it's real money. So you're actually losing money. You're losing money on the boat. Yeah, I lost about three grand. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Notable incidents of boat rides. 2025, Carnival Horizon had somebody kill another man. Man overboard on the Morella Explorer. So November, twice in August, passengers drowned at Carnival's new Celebration Key Resort in the Bahamas. All 2025, passengers died aboard their Carnival Dream. This feels like a lot. These are old people, no? I would hope so. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know. Yeah, yeah. What if our fans are old? By the way, we want our fans to come on this boat, but you have to be over 65. to yeah yeah the shows are at 3 30 p.m yeah i'll tell you the negatives though you'll tell me the negatives of what i'll tell you the negatives you tell me the negatives first boat okay all right that's good that's a good name okay that's a really good negative boat at sea trap nowhere to go very good breaks out six something breaks how to get off this thing middle of the ocean okay uh pirates what did i just say i love jews oh yeah yeah what what what is what are the negatives give me the list of the negatives because i already feel it i'm scared it's uh the food the food's terrible it's not good yeah it's cooked what it's cooked on a boat even like even the fancy italian restaurant you make up to make a reservation it's it's all of garden you know i mean it's not good you know i mean and then the teppanyaka you know i mean the teppanyaki wasn't good no alone away yeah yeah um the boat teppanyaki wasn't good and then there's this thing where it's a 24-hour free just, you know, everyone's there to eat. A buffet. A buffet, right? Those are my favorite. It is terrible. It's bad. Oh, my God. It is bad. Well, you're not pitching it well to our fans. No, those are the bad aspects. Oh, so they can – okay. Yeah, the good aspect. The good aspect, great spa. Wonderful spa. Great spa, great that. The pool, right? Pool's great. Pool. Fun, right? I have a pool. you have a pool i have a pool too yeah yeah all right you just go to your pool yeah yeah go to your pool um but here's another thing i was like another thing that i would like to pitch to you okay it's a um it's connective tissue it's i'm listening i'm listening yeah it's it's people that love you right our fans and us connecting in a way right it's a very special experience for our biggest fan because only our biggest fans will be on the boat so you're saying because i will say this all joking aside i we adore the fans we appreciate them so much i love the fans i love seeing them i love it a lot yeah but you're saying the way to really get close to the fans is to make them pay to come on a boat to see us it's not just to pay to get on the boat oh so it's free no it's you have to pay okay okay you have to pay it's them being with us on the boat yeah so it's like after a show it's like going out and sitting in the middle of the audience after the show but it's wavy it's wavy too yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna be honest and say this yeah because i love let's do a vote carlos do it online whatever we can do yeah if people would want if they would come let's just see how many people would come okay you know what this is like yeah yeah you know when like when a buddy does coke and somebody does coke and they come up with like a harebrained business scheme and they're like you you're it's going to be amazing and they pitch it to when they're sober and you're like, I don't know if you should do that chicken shop laundromat you were thinking of. Yeah, but sometimes YouTube. Sometimes. Yeah, yeah, that Chinese guy and that other guy, right? Sometimes they were. Hey, what do you think of this thing where everyone comes up? Because every comic I know who's been on these cruises, Swartzen included, just did the exact same thing. Yeah, what? I want to do a cruise. We should do a cruise. Swartzen said the exact same thing. I know. He was like, I want to do a Swartzen cruise. Yeah. And every other person that's done them goes, I want to do it. I want to do my own cruise. Yeah. So everyone gets this bug. Yeah, because we did it and we had fun. I know. You don't know anything about it. That's why I think you should do it. I'm not fun. Here we go. That's the truth. Right, ladies? Who's funner? Tito Bobby or Tito Andrew? Tito Bobby. See? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fun. So do a Bobby Lee cruise. And I'll wave from the shore. And there's Andrew right on the side. Okay. I'll get on the boat with you. No, you won't. There's no way. That was the thing that we talked about on the boat. Me and Nick, imagine Andrew here right now. Why wouldn't I do it? I'd rather do a show on land for the fans. Okay, good. It's different. It's a different thing. But anyway, let's move on from it. That's the boat. Yeah, yeah. And you're trapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you guys do it? Yeah. That'd be fun, right? Fancy would not want to do it. Carlos would do it. Oh, yeah, Carlos. Carlos and McComb would do it. Yeah. Because they could be little bad boys at night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could roam around looking for girls. Get every STD imaginable. Yeah, he's fucking a mermaid. how'd you get a mermaid and a siren how about this if the boat doesn't go far i could do it yeah it didn't go far no i'll do one here to catalina how about that i'll do a catalina boat tour a ferry a ferry you want to do a ferry i'll do a ferry we'll do a ferry i'm a robot we can robot yeah we can robot sailboat sail with us yeah yeah yeah sail away it's come sail away come sail away with me and then you have to raise the bow. Okay. No, I just have a legitimate fear of... Or we could do like the ending of Titanic where I'm just on a fucking... You're on top, right? Closing on the wood. And I'm about to die. And I'm just... Let's just do that. Anyway. If you can find a more clever way to get our fans together, I am down. Okay. Not a boat, but I would love to interact with the fans, just not on a boat. What do you guys want? To interact with the fans. Do you want a Bad Friends boat tour? That'd be fun. I'd show up to shit, dude. Yeah, I will. How about this? How about we get you two on a boat all the way back to the Philippines? Yes, one way. But that's it. Yeah, we fly back. Yeah, we fly back. Yeah, yeah. We send you and then we fly back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, you could convince me. There's no way. There is ways. There is ways. To do a boat. You could convince me if it was a short trip and it was, yeah, you could convince me. Okay, what's the shortest trip that we could do, Carlos? Well, going to the Philippines. Sailing to the Philippines takes four to eight weeks or more. It's going to be pretty tough. That one's going to – Imagine. Imagine Andrew's just in his cabin. And they can't get me off the hook because I'm swinging. Imagine. Wait, let me say something. Yeah, yeah. I would shoot a reality TV show of you and I and them taking a boat to the Philippines. That I would do. that would be fucking hilarious. We'd have to live on the boat for how long? Four to eight weeks. I could do that for four weeks. Just us four? It's a speed. Well, it'd be with other people. We'd be going to the Philippines. It'd be a lot of like, everyone's going to the Philippines. I know, but like our fans too can buy tickets. Why with the fans and the tickets? It's just for us. For us to go to the Philippines. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have a connection with my fan days. Stop it. I'm sorry that I'm grateful for their their love this is good turn up the gas all right this is good um i'm grateful i'm grateful to them you know some people aren't some people are watch some people are that's what they're doing it for am i not right yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the reason i do it don't get angry are you angry no no don't look at me are you angry I'm too tired to be angry. Okay, good. You tired, bud? I'm so tired. Why? I was with my parents for two weeks straight. Oh, that's right. How are they? I don't know. Okay. That was great. We spent time in Arizona and we did that whole thing. Then I brought them back here to LA. The problem is when people come into town, you have to do things all the time. There isn't a day that's off. I bet you all your hard work with your parents that they're grateful. Yeah, they are. I bet at night they think to themselves, what a great son that we have. I hope so. Yeah, and we're grateful for his effort. I hope so. Yeah, we love him for him playing ahead, right? And all the things that our son does for us. And we're willing to do anything to make our son happy. And then the very next day they called because they couldn't log into Apple TV and we yelled at each other on the phone for 15 minutes. Yeah, exactly. He's like, why can't I type my fucking name in the goddamn Apple TV? Is that what your dad did? Yeah, and then I had to FaceTime. I had to FaceTime with my mom so I could watch what he was typing. And he incorrectly put the password in three times. Instead of just doing backspace, he cleared it every time. So he had to redo it every fucking time. Lovely people. Yeah. I love him so much. So, you know. But the stress of family is hard. It's hard. Especially if it's not actually blood. Is it not hard? Is the stress of family hard? No. Yeah, yeah. For me, it is. It's a weight. I'll clean the towels. Yeah, that's not what I was saying. That's necessary. I will. That's not what I was saying. I'll clean your room. You haven't cleaned it yet? Not yet. I told you to clean it. Because we had to go here. Yeah, we had to come here. Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay. Well, we didn't give fancy any airtime whatsoever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about fancy. I'll be honest with you. I swear to God on my mother's life. On her left half because you can hear her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My mother's right ear. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. When I was on the boat, some guy pulled me aside. He goes, you know what makes the show? and I go me and Andrew? and he goes no fancy he's right he goes he makes the show he's the bind he's the adhesive without that I don't think Carlos or McCone never mentioned their names yeah yeah yeah I swear to God that's what he said to me alright what'd you say? best middleman best middleman best middleman I don't even know he said best middleman yeah but I just don't say it again Best middle man No say it again Best middle man Best middle Okay good Do you have anything To say for your birthday? Yeah Do you feel good? Do you feel older? Do you have a speech? Yeah Yes I have a speech Okay go ahead I feel so loved Thank you for being a bad friend Yeah.