Bonus #173 - Live Call Show Vol. 39 [PATREON PREVIEW]

I am trying to kind of figure out the best way to convince this guy I'm fucking my slam piece if you will to go to therapy. Oh wow, interesting. Yeah, yeah, so we're friends. I have no intention of taking us anywhere beyond friends like we're friends and that's enough and that's good and we thought. So I don't want to be too, I don't want to overstep my slam piece bounds. Number one. I'm very confrontational and direct and I think I brought up once in the past and it kind of put him on the defensive. I get that. So what kind of what I'm rocking with. What do you think? What do you think he needs to do? Why do you think he needs therapy? Let's start there. There. So he's a good guy. He he's going through a divorce right now with a woman that he was married to for 10 years. Oh, so you're a really good friend. You're a what? You're a really good friend is what it sounds like. Somebody's getting divorced. You throw him a little pussy, help him get through the whole thing, you know, worrying about his well being. You do see if only there were more friends like you. Listen, here's the thing. I love my friends real real good, you know, I got good friends and I want to take care of them with my pussy and that's beautiful. I think it's beautiful. Absolutely. That's what community is all about. Stop. Are you saying you want me to suck you off? No, you're fucking busted, Elvis. Hey, you're ugly, dude. I'm sexy, bro. Oh, no. I don't know why y'all are pretending you aren't fucking already. That's crazy. No, unfortunately, this is even somehow even more homoerotic. It's so gay, it's transcended physical love. That's honestly the most romantic thing I've ever heard. I love that. We just we've we've we've been behaving like an old married couple since we were like 22 years old. Yeah. OK, so OK, so he's going through a divorce. So this guy's up against a lot. Here's what you're saying. Yeah, so he was like, OK, so just like a quick, you know, run through. He's going through a divorce. He's only ever dated really toxic people or women. And he is a veteran and he was abused as a kid and his mom abandoned him. Like there's just, you know, there's a laundry list and he went to therapy once when he was younger to work through the abuse stuff. And he said like it was fine, but not as you didn't think it was that helpful for him. But he did take that approach that like, OK, go to therapy when you have something to like figure out. Sure. And like, you don't have to be doing it all the time, which I think is good. But I don't think he's he doesn't see the stuff that he's going through now as like, quote unquote, I guess, enough to go to therapy. And I'm like, hey, baby girl, let me whisper in your ear, please go to therapy. Yeah, you're right. I mean, listen, you're obviously right. And I think it makes sense too, because to him the bar is like of being abused as a child or fucking going to war. Like this guy has to be fair compared to like a fucked up childhood and, you know, a fucked up job in your 20s that involves killing innocent Iraqis in some way. I don't know how involved he was directly, but being a part of the American war machine that destabilized the whole world. He's putting through a couple of things that are much shittier than a divorce. I'll give him that, that it's like he set the bar really high for what deserves to be in therapy for him. But for anybody else, you're absolutely right. Like this guy is going through a lot and he I think you're I think basically I'm agreeing with your instincts are correct that he probably would get a lot out of therapy. Yeah, I think it would be good for him. He also like, you know, he tends to if he's upset, he goes to rage and there are all these like little signs of things that I think could kind of be helped if he if he had to talk to. He also does. He does this is a little bit selfish. He does do a lot of rambling on about stuff that his wife did. And I'm like, baby girl, I'm like, I'm writing you right now. Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should go to someone to pay. Somebody should be paid to listen to this. I'm giving you a service here right now. So I mean, OK, so this is one of your friends. Is it like is he part of a larger group of friends? Is there like, you know, is there like power in numbers here and talking to him? Not not obviously not full intervention, but is there like multiple people who can kind of soften the blow or are you sort of like his his lifeline here? How you said you've been friends for a while, right? Yeah, it's actually we actually haven't been friends for that long, but there is a bigger group of friends that I've been friends with for much longer. Gotcha. And I think that's actually I didn't even think about kind of involving them in that. But yes, there's definitely more people around and people he's known for longer. Right. And know him better. Right. That could also help. Yeah, I mean, listen, you've tried the straight. You did the admirable thing and what people who call into the show never do, which is directly communicate. And you tried that. And this is obviously a harder. And I think you'll probably have to do that again. But I think you can take this now to the group and be like, hey, people who know him better, like, here's how I feel. I'm worried about him. I think you should go into therapy. Like, what do you guys think? I mean, I think there's nothing wrong. I definitely wouldn't consider that talking behind a friend's back. You guys are all kind of strategizing how to help him. So I think that's a fair place to go and see how people feel about this. In terms of if if it's like something you have to do by yourself. I mean, look, yeah, he does a lot of rambling, but I do think the next time he's rambling about something, you could be like, hey, I don't I don't know how much help I could be. I think this is exactly this kind of exactly where talking to somebody about your stuff and even maybe framing it if he has to have it be temporary. You could even be like, hey, I know you think this isn't a big deal, but. This like a divorce on top of all the stuff you've already been dealing with is totally and this will bring up stuff from your past. Like anything this emotional can bring up past trauma. You could just be like, I think you'd get a lot out of just for the time being. Talking to somebody and, you know, maybe making him say he'll do it for at least a couple months and not just give up on it. I don't know. But I think you can bring it up again. Are you worried? What are your what are you worried will happen if you just kind of bring it up? You said he just kind of shut himself off the first time. It's that's not what I'm worried about bringing it up, because again, I'm pretty confrontational. Yeah, it's more like. Yeah, it's just it makes life easier, to be honest. It's more like when I bring it up. It's like he doesn't really like hear me because I brought it up like a couple of times sort of casually and then once like kind of seriously. Right. And so I'm more afraid that when I bring it up, it's like not really doing anything. It's not really getting through or I'm also afraid because I really do mean it when I say like we're friends and that's cool. But like I don't want to date him. And I also don't want him to think this is me caring too much, I guess. I don't know. I'm usually I'm very loving with my friends. And so when I do sleep with my friends, which I do more often than I should as a queer, you know, I just there are some lines that I just want to make sure don't get super blurred. I know what you mean. I have to. I agree with you on the last point. I got to get a little red pill here. You cannot be you cannot be the messenger for this. I think like, yeah, exactly because you guys are fucking like he's going through a divorce. He's fucking you. And I'm not saying like, you know, you guys can fucking still just be friends or whatever. But once you start getting into do you really think he want? I mean, he's freshly divorced. You think he really thinks you think he wants to get in a relationship right now? I don't think he wants to get in a relationship. But you could think she does. No, I don't think you do either necessarily. I just think like she doesn't. But you think he might think she does. Is that what you're saying? Possibly not even not even he might think you do. I just think like if it was me, I would not want to hear that from like someone. I'm I'm like fucking and just trying to get my mind off like my divorce and shit. And, you know, he's he's he's like in a weird time. And I guess I mean, I know what you're saying, but it's also like, you know, whatever, especially if if, as you just said a few moments ago, tell me if I'm wrong. But like, you know, there's other people in the friend group who are like closer to him than you are. Yeah, but those pussies don't want to have the conversation. You ever tried to get two straight men? So actually look in the mirror. You ever tried to get two straight men to have a serious conversation? No, it's so hard. No, never. And that's why it's awesome. Yeah, honestly, that's so fair. I wish I could spend less time thinking about emotions personally. I feel like if I was him and I started hearing this from you, especially like if it was after we fucked or something, I'd be like, oh, God, I do not want to hear about this. Yeah, about it or think about it. So I kind of see what you're saying, because it's like when I was at my absolute fattest and it's like as I'm eating a pizza and getting high, people like you really should go should really start exercise. It's like maybe, but this ain't the time. I kind of see what you're saying. Is does this guy get a certain window of post-divorce crashing out? He gets to do before he has to go to therapy, maybe. And maybe you're right, Elvis, in terms of, you know, Luigi has big titties not being the best messenger for it. So I don't know. I mean, you could. Here's the other thing. If you you kind of have two, there's two paths here, right, which is like just kind of go about it as you'd like, right? Keep keep kind of hooking up and whatever and kind of let it go. Or if you're afraid the lines will get blurred and you really don't want to, like, you know, date this person or even, you know, have any kind of truly romantic relationship going forward. Maybe you could be like, hey, I don't want you to think I'm trying to, like, better you for, you know, I'm not trying to be in a relationship, but I do care about you and I do think you should like get this stuff, you know, taken care of. Maybe it's not the best if we continue like a physical like you might. Basically, you kind of you're kind of in no man's land right now, where it's like by being a fuck buddy, you you yourself have said it's kind of blurred the lines of what is and isn't appropriate and what he will and won't listen to. So maybe you just go back to being platonic friends. I don't know if that's I don't know if taking away Pussy is going to make someone listen to you, but I don't know. I think, yeah, it won't make him listen to you, but that'll be like the actual wake up call that will register that will make him like that. That'll make him sad in a way that he's forced to like look inwards within himself in the way that he is in right now. That's true. Pussy is a self. This the sex is like an escape right now from him. And, you know, there's something about like, you know, when you can like fuck a friend and you just like you're like, oh, awesome, we're just we're just shooting the shit after no big deal. Yeah, this is hard to pull off if everybody's in a perfect place mentally, just fucking your friends and it doesn't turn out weird. It's impossible for this to work now with this guy. Actually, the more we're talking about it, the more it's like you probably shouldn't because really this is appropriate. If you don't really care about this guy, you're like, ah, some guy I'm fucking no strings attached is going through some shit, but not my problem. I'm just here for the dick. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of the only appropriate. You are just kind of I think this just is not a good situation right now because he's probably in too much of a if he won't even listen and you kind of feel like he's just kind of rambling and doesn't want to listen. And that's fair, right? He might need that right now, but it's also the worst possible time to try a true friends with benefits situation that actually works out. And maybe that's really the answers that you are feeling a draw towards being more friend to this person right now. And it's kind of up to you to decide what you want out of this and what you think, how you feel in relation to him and like, you know, whether because this isn't going to last forever. So it's like, when does it make sense to cut it off? Yeah, because, you know, if you're hanging out, he's a cool guy, he's in you kind of you fuck him for a little pick me up. That's one thing. But if you have some kind of like chronic thing that's really not going anywhere for either of you, then what is the point? As much as I can't believe my advice is sort of stop, stop fucking a guy who's down and out. I think it kind of is. Yeah, because you don't want it seems like you don't want that. It seems like you'd rather be his friend right now. Yeah, well, I mean, if the option is date one to get Dick, but emotionally destabilize right three be platonic friends easy. I'm number three. And you know, I just I saw actually I was pretty stressed out and like wanting a lot of stress relief. I just finished defending my thesis. I have a PhD now. Oh, yeah, congratulations. Thank you. Fuck you very much. And so now I feel like it is kind of a good like that sounds a little callous, but I'm like, listen, I mean that, you know, it helped me through a little bit too. I helped him through a little bit. Maybe it's best to kind of shut it down. Yeah, I think I think that's definitely. And I mean, this is kind of not really even your question. It's just us talking it through. That just might be what's best for you. It sounds like. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, look, at the end of the day, sometimes with with shit like this, whether it's like it's easy to say whether it's drug addiction or food addiction or just emotional turmoil or whatever. When people are in a downward spiral, generally. They do kind of have to come to it on their own terms. There's another thing is like, even if you were just purely platonic friend with no blurred lines, he still might not listen. You know what I mean? So it's just like that's really you just have to kind of make peace with that. I think decide how you want to look at the relationship going forward. Sounds like it might be a good time to, you know, go back to platonic. But also it's like. Fuck. The for. Yeah, it's what you need. But it's also like, you know, what is this guy really? What's the positive? Like he's just going to figure it out on his own. Unfortunately, is the hard part, especially I don't know how fresh the divorce is. Like I don't know how, you know, you said he's going through it right now, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's they've been like slowly going through it, I think, since last summer, but really truly only since like last December. Yeah, I mean, it's it's a lot. It's it's a it's a lot. And hopefully he realizes he needs some support, some emotional, psychological support and he goes there because what you're talking about makes sense. But at the end of the day, it's ultimately up to him, unfortunately. And all you can do is kind of be a supportive friend for him. And I think you've more than done that. I think you've given him one type of support and now it might be better to like take a back seat and attempt a different type that's also just kind of better for you too. Yeah, I think that makes sense. That's true. But hey, you got to search your feelings, you know, and see what I'm saying makes sense. But that's kind of where it is. It's either like get strictly into the like purely sex aspect of a no strings attached thing or like kind of go the other way. Because I do think, like I said, things are just too messy to be able to pull off a hard maneuver like friends with benefits right now. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't really think about that. That makes a lot of sense. It's truly it is friends with benefits is hard already. For sure. And then to do it kind of never works. By the way, it's like it works like eight percent of the time. Yeah, it's like I can honestly the easiest way to do friends with benefits or like sleep with your friends is when they like are married and like Polly are open because then it's like so easy and like I said, an abomination. It never works only in an abomination situation like my married and also like I feel like queer people have a better shot at it than like, you know, purely straight people also. So, you know, you've got a couple of things tipping the scales in your direction. I get. But it's also like that only works because it's a sick system of polyamorous married friends that all suck and fuck each other. Right. It's it only works because it is an abomination under the Lord or what? Yeah, true. But there you go, sister. We're, you know, I think I think we actually did get to the middle to the meat of the issue here. And it seems like you'll be OK. Listen, your friend will be OK, too. It just he is going through something and he might not even realize what he's going through. And who knows, maybe in a few months with a little more time, he does go into therapy. Maybe maybe you can rally the troops. Maybe you can rally the troops to see to have some kind of mini mental health intervention, I don't know. But yeah, I think really you could just you just need to decide the best for you and then make peace with your position in this person's life. OK, sweet. Yeah, I agree. I think that that makes a lot of sense. Oh, but also before I go, can I say one more thing? Sure. Unrelated. So I am fluent in Spanish, but in the way that you're fluent in Greek, where it looks like I can't get into like a deep discussion in Spanish, because, you know, it's just not. But what my friend told me to start doing, which I think has been helping and this is gay as hell, so like really lock in with what I'm about to say, is reading poetry and translating it because what is deeper and emotional? What is deeper and more emotional than poetry, girl? Nothing. Poetry. I don't think I could do. I think I would have a hard time even just getting a poem in at all. I thought you were going to say watch children's programming, because that's what one of my friends does. He watches like cartoons in Greek and it actually helps him. So, you know what? I hear your poetry and I might just watch SpongeBob doved over in Greek, actually. You know what? So true. The same, basically. I'll give it a shot. I'll do one poem for you. Yeah, do a little Kovafi poem. You know that Greek poet? Huh? You know that Greek poet Kovafi or something? What's his fucking name? Kovafi. Yeah, he's like my PhDs in chemistry. I got no clue. OK, all good. Oh, I don't know Kovafi. Oh, he's got some short ones you could take a stab at. I don't know. I'm all right. All right. Well, listen, synthesize of some pills the next time we see you and good luck out there. Thank you so much. Y'all have a good night. Good luck. Bye. This guy's going to go to therapy and be like, look, I started therapy now. Can we just fuck again? Can I get some pussy, please? All right, fine. Honestly, not a bad turn. That's fine. I think she would be happy with that. Yeah, that is everyone wins. What a good friend. You know, I could use a couple of friends like that.