There once was a captain on a ship with a heart of stone and a tempered creek. His crew rose up in mutiny and threw him in the sea. They made him walk the plank, splash into the sea he sank. But the very next day his flag would fly, the captain wouldn't die. But do we see any sign from Isla? Whoa! Oh, there it is. Can you see it? Welcome to Requiem Rock. Isla Bennett? Far, far out, in the furthest storm-lashed reaches of the seven seas, there lies a rock. It rises from the depths, smooth and black, and it has been there since the dawn of time. Each year, when the summer lull makes way for the autumn storm, a majestic creature would rise from the depths to rest upon it. The captain, he must be destroyed, soldiers in every port deployed. Hit him with a cannonball to be his final call. Is that the... Um, what was it? last year we performed a live show aboard theater ship in london you can now watch a multi-camera film of that show by joining our patreon also we'll be back on theater ship with a brand new show this august and there are still tickets for more info go to amelia podcast.com and click on live shows and as they stood on the stormy shore Weave a hymn on the devil's loom The elder sister Push the younger Oh La la la la la la la la la la AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. Sign up for your one euro per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.nl. That's Shopify.nl. It's time to see what you can accomplish with Shopify by your side. This episode is dedicated to Lydia Ames, who will fall off Whitby Pier and come back as a coffin maker on the Isle of Lewis. Thank you to Lydia and thank to all our patrons who keep this show alive. If you'd like to become part of our Patreon community, get early ad-free access to episodes and bonus content, as well as supporting our team, go to ameliapodcast.com for more info. But for now, enjoy the episode. Alvina? What is... You were a druid. A druid! An actual druid. Yes, okay, it's really not that funny. It is a druid. And you toppled Stonehenge. Yes, well, it was a very long time ago. Yes, 3,000 years ago. Give or take. You were a druid 3,000 years ago and you toppled Stonehenge. Look, can we please let bygones be bygones? A druid! An actual cloak and staff flipping get-a-fix druid! Or did you have a beard? I bet you had a beard. A really, really long, flowy white beard. How long was your beard? Alvina, being a druid was a very solemn and sacred thing back then. I know. And then you go and topple stones. Yes, yes, I think we've got that now. Ah, a clumsy druid. Do not make me regret telling you that story. Sorry. You've stopped making fun of me. I wasn't making fun of you. No? Not at all, it's just... Yes? You're such a strange man. In a good way. In a good way. The sun is rising. Oh, yes, so it is. We've been here for almost ten hours. What are you thinking? Remember following the cat here? You're right, Sheba. Walking down Rue Le Pic. Rue Le Pic. Seems more than ten hours ago, doesn't it? I'm sorry. I did go on a bit. No, I... I could sit here for another ten hours. More. Really? You must be getting very hungry. We finished the scones ages ago. I had the last one when you were telling the punk story. Oh so you haven eaten since 1979 What it like What's what like? To live so long. Oh, um... A constant string of goodbyes. You mean... Duach. The druid. The druid? It's not funny. Jovianus and Sylvanus. Julius and Salvidius. Wait, were those men or beasts? No, those were the camels. Those were the camels. They did us proud on numerous occasions. Shame about the spitting. Guido and Santino. Solomon. Oh, that breath. I can still smell it in the back of my nose. Barker. Wait, Barker? Who was he again? The Bible. Oh, of course. Yes, our printer. Oh, and of course, then, Giovanni and Serafino, who tore the printing press apart and rebuilt it. Pocolin, strange fellow. Johannes and Salvagione. Jack Boyd. Ha-ha. Oh, Luigi. You know, he reminded me very much of Luke Dougal. Oh, and Buttercup, of course. Oh, Buttercup, bless. Yes. Carl Granton. Joe and Salinger. And Joe. And Joe. And Salinger and Salinger, for that matter. And the Mees. I really miss the Mees. And Jan and Olaf, of course. Oh, yes. The ballet boys in the submarine. Indeed. And Tiddlywinks. And Martha. Yes. Lots of goodbyes. Huh. Somehow I thought... I don't know, I... Yes? It's just, your accomplices were never really a big part of your stories. Well, I mean, I've had so many teams over the years. The focus always seemed to be on you and Kozlowski. Well, yes, I mean, Kozlowski is the only constant. and the others come and go. It's hard to keep track sometimes, but I do miss them. They were an important part of the Brotherhood, and we couldn't have done it on our own. You know that better than anyone, Alvina. I... Wait. What? Is this a thank you for the case files? Well, case files is taking things a bit far, don't you think? I mean, we never did case files before, but... Oh, but just imagine all your stories neatly indexed and colour-coded with pretty pastel colours and sticky tabs. Yes, but there were no sticky tabs in 700 BC. Oh, yeah. Druids never keep records. That's right. They're making little scratches on the stones. Well, all we had was sharp tools. Druid. Clumsy, chaotic druid. You know, I thrive on a certain degree of chaos, as does Itobar. But I do appreciate that we rely on people with... Yes? A different approach. Uh-huh. Martha taught us that. Hmm. You know, you would make a good Martha one day. What? Yes, you remind me of her. You're strong and stubborn and scary. Scary? A bit. I'm anything but. I'm 163. Come now, remember in London when I was being threatened by a mafia boss? Tony de Pasqua, of course. And you came into my office and shot him stone dead? Ha! How could I forget? I saved your life! Yes. Oh. Yes? Oh no, I always thought I saved your life, but... What? Actually, I didn't, did I? What do you mean? Ah, Kozlovsky was right there in the basement. He would have come up and revived you, wouldn't he? It depends. On what? The pasque was shot. I mean, a shot to the heart or brain, and there's nothing even Kozlovsky or Patience could have done. Good. I'll cling to my victory, then. It's one of my two proudest moments. Oh? What's the other? When I got Amelia and myself out of those smart coffins. Hear that? Ah. A pickaxe and a spain, a spain. Four and a shrouding sheet. Oh, a pit of clay for to be made. For such a guest is meet. Bit early for gravediggers, isn't it? The early shift is for anonymous burials. Or burials without a ceremony or mourners. Sad. Perhaps. Look. What? The gravestone, it's so full of names now. And dates. By many deaths. Lord Daryl Arthur Duffer. That's the time you were shot by arrows in Phoenix, Arizona in 1871. Yes, arrows are very pointy. Then up there, that's... I can't read the name. That's Insula Script. Or Merovingian. I can't remember. Must be 537. Oh, the time Kozlovsky stabbed you in that tavern. A perfect illustration of what happens when we are left to our own devices. Yes. And 700 BC, that must be from your nomadic period in the desert. Yes, death by collapsing temple. Landed right on my temples. Never had much luck with big stones, have you? Nope. What about this one, though? 8.34. Oh, that would be my brush with the bubonic plague. You died of the bubonic plague? Yes, briefly. Wait. A This must have happened during the Queen Basilia story Correct Why didn you tell me about that Well Basilia spanned four decades so I had to focus on the important bits And you dying wasn't an important bit? I was only out for a few minutes. Hang on. There's another death. 8.35. Oh, yes, yes. The bubonic plague. I thought that was 8.34. And 8.35. You died of the bubonic plague twice? I did. Within two years? It was very contagious. A bit careless, don't you think? Wasn't the whole point in the Basilia story that Kozlowski simulated the plague? Oh, you know he's a perfectionist, Alvina. What does that mean? He sent me to Siena so I could study its symptoms. Oh, that's reckless. I came back to report on what I'd seen, but in the end my report wasn't necessary. He could study my oozing blisters, festering boils and blackening skin firsthand. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Oh. What? Something's just struck me. What? Do you think that's the real reason he sent me to Siena? To catch the plague and become a case study? You think? What? I do. Oh, good. Yes, I do. Oh, when I see you again, I have a bone to pick with you, Mr. Kozlovsky. We need to talk about the year 834. And 835. No, 835 was my own fault. Ill-advised trip to Avignon to partake in the Feast of Fools. But Siena! When I see you, Kozlovsky, I'm going to... Yes? I'm going to... hug you. You must miss him so much. Yes. Yes, I do. Wherever he is, I'm sure he's thinking of you. There's someone else too. Hmm? Lorraine. Oh, yes. Maybe we should call her, no? I already have. Several times. Really? When? Oh, wait. Is that why you took your phone? I was so surprised you never take your phone. I hoped she'd call me back. Maybe she will. It's been ten hours. The middle of the night. We always talk in the middle of the night. Well, we used to. She's angry. Angry? Yes, with me. Why? I... Why haven't you told me the story of Lorraine? That seems like a story worth telling. Why did you miss that one out? Who is she? You know Lorraine Alvina. She's my... I know, I know she's your niece. But who is she really? And why is she angry with you? Look, some stories are too painful to tell. You've told me sad stories before. You told me about Joan and Basilia. Martha. This wound is still fresh. It's a recent story. I get it. But without it, I don't think this night is complete. This night is over. No. It's the morning. The birds are out. The gravediggers have started work. A new day. A new story. No. Why not? I can't tell this story because it hasn't finished. I refuse for it to be finished. I have to see Lorraine again and bring it to an end. A good end. some things never change what? after tonight I feel I know you better than ever before yet still you're a man of mystery good lord you're right well I guess as a druid you're entitled to a bit of mystery no no no no I mean what you said about knowing me apart from Itoban you probably know me better than anyone else what? Really? Yes. What about Amelia? She didn't get the rundown? Well, she did, but I'm not sure exactly how much she can recall. Why? Oh, well, remember that she took over on the eve of her grandmother's funeral? Yes, of course. Yes. Well, after Martha's wake, we gathered what booze was left and settled down in the drawing room at Plum Manor to tell her everything. Right. Yes, but you see, Itabal and I kept arguing over the details. Silly little things, you know, like did we use piastas or ducats in Sicily? Was the small fancy a clipper or a frigate? Did we drink honey wine or mulled wine in Hamlet? Anyway, all these digressions rather distracted from the general thrust of the storm. Oh, poor Amelia, I can just picture it. Add to that three bottles of Chardonnay from the wake, a keg of Guinness from the local pub gifted to Miss Plum's Plumbing for fixing an overflowing urinal, and the last bottle of Martha's favourite Japanese whiskey. I get it. But we did really bond that night. But you never brought her up to speed later? Well, you know, a story here, a story there. But never like this. You know what office life is like. You know, I did try, but no sooner have you faked one client's death by freak hail, the next one's at the door demanding a snowstorm. There's just never any time. Yes. That I know well. Area 51. Yes. I wonder how Ross is doing on Kiprik. Miss Plum's Plumbing. Punk Britain. The hairdo. Secret submarine. Weimar Berlin. The Daily Phoenix, 221B Baker Street, the Wild West, Sicily, Revolutionary France, the Seven Seas, a 17th century brothel. The Tower of London, Florence, Hamelin, Atlantis, a medieval tavern, Rome, Athens, the Judean Desert, all the way to Stonehenge and a blazing Wicker Man. Don't remind me. What a journey you've taken me on. Yes. Did you enjoy it too, Sheba? What was your favourite story, Sheba? The rat catcher. You liked the one about the rats, did you? Yes, well, I bet you're a much better rat catcher than I ever was. Alvina What is it now There another one Another what Date Another date On the gravestone Well, yes, I mean, as I said, I didn't tell you about all my deaths. That would be impossible. For instance, I haven't told you how I accidentally got shot on the set of Goncharov in 1973. or the time Sultan Mehmed had me executed in 1418 for seducing his wife. Although that would have been a good story to tell, especially seeing as he wasn't married. But I had to make a selection, of course. Otherwise, this wouldn't take a night but a year. And we don't have a year, do we? No, we don't. You're pale, Alvina. Look at the date. Um, it's difficult to read with all that moss. What is that, Sam? 28th of March, 2021. Ah, yes, right. You know what day that is, right? Oh, yes, yes, that's today. What does that mean? Oh, you know what it means. No! Paris, a city of light. So, this is where the journey ends. No. Alvina? I won't let it happen. I won't. Alvina. You're not ready. Nobody is ever ready. Not really. But Lorraine, you still need to finish something, right? Right? Yes. And Kozlowski, you need to give him a good ticking off about using you as the butt of a very irresponsible experiment, remember? I'll have to rely on you to provide the ticking off. You're good at those. Stop it. I mean it. So do I. What? I'm not going to let this happen. You can't argue with fate. I beg to differ. What? We know at least one person who did just that. Who are you? Give me a few hours. What? Stay here. Right here. On this bench. I thought I'd take one more stroll through Paris. Jordan, Luxembourg, the Pantheon. Rue Mouffetard with its pretty cafe. Too dangerous. We mustn't tempt fate. You could get hit by a bus, collide with a moped, slip on some dog shit. Dog shit? I love dogs, but why don't people in this blasted city clean up after their flipping... Alvina, this isn't the moment to be complaining about dog shit. Stay put. But... Promise me that. But... Promise. Do you promise? I... Promise. Good. I'll be as fast as I can. What are you going to do? I have an idea! What's the idea, Alvina? What are you doing? Just stay put! What's she up to, goddammit? Do you know what she's up to, Sheba? No? Well, at least you're still here to keep me company, aren't you? You're not going anywhere, are you? You'll keep me company, won't you? Won't you? Join us again next week for Dear Dawn, Many Deaths, Part 2. The Amelia Project is a production of Imploding Fictions. This episode featured Julia C. Thorne as Alvina and Alan Bergen as the interviewer. It was written by Philip Thorne with story editing by Eistein Holzberg-Braga, directed by Philip Thorne and Eistein Holzberg-Braga with sound design by Alexander Danner, music by Frederick Barden, graphic design by Anders Pedersen, and production assistance by Marty Paktivay. It was recorded at Red Pea Studio in Vienna with engineering by Arpad Hartnagy and Oliver Illes. Thank you so much to all our Patreon and Apple Subscriptions supporters. Without you, the Amelia Project would disappear and reappear as a prayer book for the Apostles of Antithon. A shout out to our wonderful super patrons. at the time of recording. It's a challenge every time, but I love it. More info about the team and how to support us, as well as merch, transcripts, and more at ameliapodcast.com. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. Every story is a ghost story. When we tell an anecdote or a funny thing that happened to us, when we talk about the way things used to be, when we desperately try to touch the things that have faded, any time we remember, we're talking about ghosts. And ghosts want something. Palimpsest. created by Jameson Ridenour and Hayley Hinninger. Embrace what haunts you.
