The Adventure Zone Royale: Episode 5

Previously on Taz Royale, standing in a red zone you may be attacked for two reasons and two reasons only. One, if you're holding a key, and two, if you've attacked someone else during the course of this try. Those icons over the Ziggurat showed that there's only like one or two gold keys remaining. I say we head back to the front and see if anyone wants to join the birdiest boys in the whole game. I'm not that burly, but I'm heading for the Ziggurat, baby. The clock hanging over the Ziggurat begins to flash red as it displays that there are five minutes remaining before the fireball descends. The five minutes remain in the second trial of the Conlave. The trial of that duration. That would be crazy. Do you realize how crazy it would be if we tried to do a five minute long gatter just to be the four of us screaming over each other all 24 real time coming to deal. You all can see, and by you all, I mean your characters hellgram at Laura Vith and Rick this can see the Ziggurat at the center of this island within the red bordered circle designating the sort of PVP area. You can see some other aspirants sort of waiting in a formation for anyone to come into the circle to try and make it into the Ziggurat they intend to stop whoever does so to join their keys. You can see a sort of desperation in their eyes as time runs down aligned along the outside perimeter of the circle. The three of you have grouped up for the first time we have Laura Vith, Rickdis and absolute zero coming in from the north east meeting up with a quartet of other folks who have been waiting here waiting for the right window to strike. You see some familiar faces. You see the spider, you see hasty Jane, you see Gregon your rival. You also see Bobby Dazzler who was the kind of doofus at the very beginning of the trial who tried to raise ahead over all their heads are keys of varying colors and materials. You can also see over the heads of a couple of the aspirants waiting for you in a defensive position around the Ziggurat. You can see these symbols that look like crossed swords over their heads. You assume to denote that they have already attacked someone marking them basically for PVP. You have five minutes here. How gram it you roll up from the tower that you just narrowly escaped with your copper key and the eight of you have found your way here. Gregon I think notices you immediately Laura Vith and says, oh gold. I expected no less. Laura Vith, I hope it was a great and worthy battle. I thank you. What's he rocking? He has a gold key as well. I had a same to you, Gregon. I had no doubts that you would achieve the highest, not as high as me as a shame there's no higher than gold. But I'm very happy to see you haven't been slain as I assumed you would be. I figure the two of us can go in and eliminate the defenders in front of us and clear a path for these weaker, smaller, more humble aspirants. Yes, it will be a great victory just to jump in. I'm, um, Rick disbrafe and what? What? Gregon wasn't what's what's your managing? I can move things with my mind. Oh shit. It's quite impressive. I'd love to be dismissive of it given his rather unimpressive nature and every all the regard of his life. But his power is rather remarkable, Gregon. I was grant you you have done me a kindness. Hey, Hey, Jane sprints up to you, Rick, this she's in the middle of doing some sort of some stretches getting ready to absolutely haul ass through this circle. She says, Oh, it's you. Oh, you're still alive. Amazing. That's such great news. And you got gold. Fantastic. Did you go back in? Yeah, I did. I broke my own foot. That's crazy. That must hurt a lot. It does. Yeah, it's very centering though. Do you want me to try and set it like I've had to do some emergency? Could you? I can just back give it a shot if you want me to try emergency bone stuff actually doesn't give a lot of confidence. But yeah, go for it. Yeah. Uh, you're giving her permission to do this. Yeah. Okay. She'll make a medicine check. Let's just see. Let's just see how this goes. Oh, my God. 18. Well, dude. Okay. Yeah. She she you shouldn't sound surprised. You offered it. You're literally just made this shit up on the spot. Man, this is magic at D&T. She grabs your foot and twists and pulls real hard. You hear. Oh, God. Yeah. That's going to hold you up for a little bit. You should probably get a doctor or do they have doctors here? I don't even know. It's probably clear. Yeah. Um, maybe. Uh, so yeah, you should be good. And um, see you're a fantasy world griffin. You one of the great choices that you get to come up with whatever nonsense. Free hell. Yeah. Physica. Yes. There's. There's artificial. There's artificial. Physicants. Autophysics. Oh, we've got. We've got. Autophysics. Oh, what was it? Leguma doctor. Doctor legume is not. It's just in name. Oh, you don't see. He's first name is doctor. Don't act all fucking concerned about doctor legume now. By the way, Dad, I made that NPC for you and you let him get yanked and tossed. Oh, he was okay. He used his power that last probably. Yes. Um, everyone here looks. Oh, the spider is here. Also, Helgrim had the spider produce you and says, uh, oh, all right. Looks like you're in a much better shape than you've got out of my sticky way by politicized. It's quite. Um, what? What happened? It gets. It's really. It was a bachelor party. It was. I'm on the spider by the way. This is. This is my new friend, Helgrim. Yes. We are. We are. And spider. I. As your future. King. So to speak. Go. I'm. Again. It's quite a choice. I. Yeah. Time is of the essence. I know, but I'm very concerned. I. I. I see that you have a gold key. I think that's going to make you an A1 target for these. These bastards out here. Um, why don't you and I swap because I got a bronze key. Go ahead and make a persuasion. Make a persuasion. Check if you want to try this again. I'm going to say you have attempted to get this gold key off of him already. The check is going to be extremely high. But if you would like to attempt this gambit again, you. I would certainly. Yeah. Because it is a compelling argument. It's insuring. Yeah. For his sake, you know, it holds some water. Four. So I. Not a lot of water. I don't think that's going to happen. I'm going to talk to the other people now. Listen, we do need to get a move on the greenhead fellow that does have a point we need to move. What's. What's this? Rittis. Excellent. Undeswighted. And sorry, who you? I'm Bobby Dazzler. Awesome. Great. Thanks, Bobby. Dazzler. Um, we need a plan here. This is I can see six folks waiting for us. And they do look like Nancy Casimans, a couple of them. A pair to have already done a bit of violence. Um, so what's what's what's the plan? Who here is has a sound strategic mind? Griffin, can I ask what is the denotation of the that they've engaged in PVP? What does that tell us? Um, so that tells you the rules of inter aspirant combat are that the only reason you can attack someone is if they are in the red area. If they have a key or if they have attacked someone else already. So you can see these cross sword symbols over the heads of two of these opponents in front of you. So we're free to throw some hands with them with those what you're anyone who has attacked someone is fair game. Okay. So the two in the front here have attacked people the three in the back are waiting. And there's. And there's one at the very top there that you recognize. You can see whispers standing up there at the very top basically right in front of the door. We attack the people who aren't flagged. You will be punished. But we don't know how bad you do not know how bad. Ah, um, he says so I can run really fast. I'm just going to zip right on up there. I'm not much use of the fight. So I'm going to sort of make myself scarce. That's my kind of plan. You guys are free to do your own things. Can I make a suggestion if it's a quick one. We all have different kind of abilities and stuff. So why don't we like the people who are good at defense. And on the outside the people who are good at offense kind of in the middle like a wedge right so we can cover for each other I can attack and heels so I can like attack and support because like you're very fast but there's six of them. And if they all target you at once you still have to get through them right so we could all kind of cover each other. This is the closest thing to a plan that has been floated here. I think make a make a persuasion check just to see how persuasive you are sort of to the group. Well, it's a six. Now does it make sense for me to roll against that to see if you have a different plan. You have a he rictus is rolled a six if you have a different plan you would like to float you. I don't I guess I guess it's just not a very I mean he roll a six I guess I don't really I'm sorry Travis so I don't buy it. Okay, no if it's fine. Yeah, no listen. I thought it was I thought it was convincing but rictus is not good at convincing people. Bobby Dazzler says don't worry about a thing guys. I'm gonna dazzle them and you guys are gonna be free to walk stroll right in there. No freaking problem. I have been playing too much. Baldur's Gate because I'm sitting there using my mouse to try to rotate the map. You can't rotate it. Okay, there are just a couple of minutes remaining on the clock. And you can see one of the there's a woman standing in the front one of the two that has the crossword symbol over her head. She is a woman that is very owl like owl like like a beak and basically just an owl face and humanoid body. And she says come on hurry. They are just as eager for you to get in here just as worried about this time limit expiring. With that I think hasty James is gonna take off and I think that's going to jump us into initiative. So can I ask a question before just because I don't want to get it. How's the real looking? Absolutely looks great. He looks elated. He looks. He's excellent. He looks excellent. He looks enlightened. He looks fucking stoked. He looks ready for battle. His hands are glowing with the blue light ready to just go go nuts on these haters. You guys feel like we saved a bunch of fucks up with the last. Yes, I feel like I've been more potty mouth in a state. No, let him let him rip. Let's roll for initiative. Got it. I rolled a 12 in initiative. Okay. I roll one negative two so in kind, but I have a 16 amazing 10 10 great. Let's start combat. So to lay things out. Obviously the viewers at home or listeners at home can't see the map. If they were viewers, they probably could you all stand on the outskirts of this red circle around the ziggurat with the six combat and standing in defense. There are three ramps leading up to the front door of the ziggurat. Your objective for this battle. I want to make explicitly clear is not to kill these six people. If that happens, great. Cool. Your objective is to make it to the door with your key in tow to escape the fireball that is going to fall in just about two minutes. If you press the arkey or click on the ruler, you can measure the distance. There's about 90 feet to the door. And I believe each of you move 30 feet per turn. You can use your action instead of attacking your casting a spell. You can dash to move twice if you would like to do so. That is that is the objective. These people are armed with magic just like you are and they're going to use it against you. If you bite off more than you can chew here, I assure you it will not go well for you. With that in mind, the first up is... Are they subject to spell slots the same way we are? They are subject to spell slots just the way that you are. I doubt very much that this is going to make it through enough rounds for them to expend all of those. First in the order, let's see, there's a couple of people who are going to delay their action. You see that there's a very fancy looking gentleman and a very dapper suit standing at the center of this defensive line. He is going to stand in front of these front middle steps and he is watching the eight of you to see what you all do first. Next up, there is a red dragonborn. The red dragonborn is going to clap his hands together and there is a sudden burst of heat and light. And forming in front of the right staircase is a bonfire. A bonfire that covers up the... Oh, that should probably be red. That would be your fucking world, man. Cool black fire, cool black fire burns in front of the front of the right ramp leading up the bonemanders eyes were lit by the black fire. See? That's it. That's how you deal with it. Then it's going to take his position on the ramp and then weave these black fires in front of the right ramp. And next is Laura Vith. Yes, I am going to... You're going to love this. I'm going to rush Helvetica. Can I close the distance? I can't at a one turn. Is that what you're just looting to? You can get in spellcasting distance, but if you hit R, hit ruler, 30 feet will get you about 2-3 to the way to Helvetica. Okay, so I can't not believe I'm using a ruler. This is supposed to be a game. Thanks dad. Okay, so I'm going to close that distance 30 feet worth. I'm going to get up there, Ish. And then I'm going to use my incredible spell Lightning Lore, which has a range of 15 feet, which will let me close the rest of the gap. I'm going to use Lightning Lore on this particular wizard. Awesome. Go ahead and I believe roll your attack roll. Now, before I roll this, can I just click? Sure. Oh, is that an attack roll? Lightning Lore. You got to succeed on a strength saving throw, and then I will roll my damage. Okay, so... Okay, so they rolled a 2 on their strength save. Go ahead and roll your damage. Okay. Seven. Cool. As you rear your hand back to conjure this whip of lightning, you rear your hand forward, and the lightning bolt whips out of your hand. And in just a flash of a second, you see a smirk go across this wizard's face. She smiles. Your lightning lure hits her. And as it does, she seems completely unaffected by your attack. And when that happens, your lightning lure crosses through this cross sword symbol over her head. And it vanishes. And you realize it was an illusion created by this wizard. And you see an arc of light travel back up through your lightning lure, and you take seven points of lightning damage. Oh no, but how many points did she took? She took no damage. The crystal on your hand, on your gauntlet, your grimoire flashes, and says, you have attacked an ineligible aspirant. Oh, fuck off. This is just a warning. The damage that you would have dealt to this aspirant has instead been dealt to you. Do not break this rule again, or the consequences will be far more dire. This wizard's just fucking busting up, just cracking up laughing. Oh, so art. Okay, but they are not tagged. They are no longer tagged. It was an illusory tag that they had placed over their head to trick someone into attacking them to punish. And it went off, I will say, without a hitch. Yeah. Next up is Bobby Dazzler. Bobby Dazzler is going to run forward. Bobby Dazzler. Dazzling Bobby. You don't got to tell me twice. Bobby Dazzler is going to cast color spray. He starts doing a body roll, and you hear like the base sting of genuine spony. And he just starts doing a really sort of erotic dance. And as he does little flashing balls of colored light, spring out of his extended hands, and he is going to try to blind some of these opponents. So, you see these colored lights fly over, and one of them hits the owl woman right in the face. And she kind of rears backwards. Another one hits the fancy looking gentleman, who also rears backwards. And the rest of them seem to fly off into the distance. The owl and the fancy gentlemen are both kind of like holding their eyes, and they are temporarily blinded. Next. Is Athena the owl woman? Athena is the owl woman. Next. Okay. The whole gramma is going to make a dash. Are you going to use a reaction to dash? First of all, I'm going to move up in the same direction as Bobby Dazzler. Okay. You can make it basically to his side right about there. Well, you belong. And then the side of Bobby Dazzler. Use dash to go past him, headed for the far left ramp. Okay. So you can reach right here. Do you have a bonus action or anything you would like to do on your turn? Well, is this just flat? This is just, or are there structures of any kind or anything? The only structure here. No, it is like a plain grassy field, like a college quad or something surrounding the ziggurat. There's no features or there's not a big rock to hide behind or anything like that. Okay. In that case, I'm going to just kind of squat down and use the commuting care pace to kind of blend into the grass. Okay. Give me a perception check real quick. 14. Okay. On a 14, you see as you dash, you know, you make it a good 60 feet zoom and have closed more than half the distance to this ramp to the ziggurat. You can see that the owl woman and this wizard waiting in the back and the fancy looking gentleman, they kind of like eyeball you for a second and then they turn their attention away. They are mostly focused on Laura Vith right now. With a 14, I will say you realize that is because of the color of the keys floating over your head. Indeed, what you said to the spider was accurate. They do not seem to be paying much attention to you because you only have a copper key. If you make yourself an easy target, they will almost certainly change that. But right now, I think all of these people who are waiting here have their eyes on the gold. Next in the order is absolute zero. Absolute zero says Laura Vith. What should I do? Oh, I'd make a run for it. Okay. Don't fight hell, Vithica. Alhavetica laughs. How did you know my name? I told him the map. Okay, absolute zero is going to run and do his 30 feet and then he is going to dash up. Okay, everyone is just taking places. There is only one legit target on the map right now, which is the owl woman who does have these cross-sword symbols. Assuming that those are in fact real. Well, wait a minute. Bobby attacked her. Bobby Dazzler. And nothing happened to him, right? That is a good point. You could make the argument that Bobby Dazzler did not attack anyone. He cast a spell that kind of like fucked with people's vision. We have precedent throughout this trial that you can cast things that do not injure your opponent. And it does not do much of anything. Okay, next up is Grycon. Grycon is going to run right behind where you are. And he is going to make an attack roll against Athena with his power catapult. You see him do this thing that he has done so many times, Lord of it, around your, your, you know, Goliath and Camin. He just sort of like crushes his hands together. And as he does, you hear a rumbling of the earth beneath you. And he rips a chunk of the ground up with his magical ability. And he is going to launch it right at, right at Athena. And I believe she has to make a... Dixiarity save, yes. Okay, so this chunk of earth that Grycon just eats at the Alwoman smashes into her, dealing 3d8 damage. Which is more than enough, Athena. The earth just kind of like piles on top of her, almost providing sort of like a very quick sort of makeshift burial. And she... A can. It makes a can? Yeah. Pala rocks as a burial chamber. Okay, and she goes down. There's the Karen want to call the manager and complain about that. That's good. I like that. I'm changing her name to dead so that you all can remember. And she is a little blackboard around her. Cool. Next in the order is, okay, you see Hellgram. You see this wizard that has been sort of waiting in the corner here. Lord of it, you actually see as this wizard sort of moves out of formation, you can see it is the green elemental ranger, one of the two surviving elemental rangers. And they are going to approach you Hellgram. I think I approach you Hellgram. Let me see. Yeah, they are. You're just a little copper key. Maybe, but they don't want anybody getting through here. You hear them say, hey, I'm really sorry about this. And they clap their hands together as they do a gust of wind comes shooting out at you and Bobby dazzler. Make a strength saving throw, please. Yeah, the excellence continues with a four. Bobby dazzler gets a Bobby dazzler saves 16. Okay, you are thrown backwards 15 feet. And you manage to stay on your feet, which is fortunate. Bobby dazzler kind of like helps catch you as you go flying backwards. Hey, are you okay, man? You got to be more careful. These guys have incredible magic powers. I realize that. I wish I did. As that happens, you see the cross sword symbols appear over the head of Zephyr, who then looks up and then looks around at all the other wizards, like kind of nervous realizing that she is the only one that has this icon over her head right now next to the order is Richtus. Griffin, yes, when a female was buried. Yeah, what did I see her gem go anyway? Give me a perception check. 17. With a 17, you can see this pile of earth that is formed around her is like trembling a little bit and shaking a little bit. You did not see the crystal come flying out of where she fell. Okay. Lord, how are you doing? I'm fine. I'm rather frustrated, but I'm physically just fine. Okay. I'm going to have, let's see. Yeah, I'm going to kind of run up to be but Twix, Grycon and, yeah, and Lord of it there. And I'm going to cast my amazing spell reduced with her and Bloom, targeting Zephyr. Okay. And I believe Zephyr has to make a save of some sort. A con save, be the 13. Con save, be the 13. That is a eight. So they're going to take five points of damage. Okay. And then, Laura Veth, you can use one of your hit die to regain hit points. What is your hit die? Okay. 1d6 is your hit die. You're a wizard. After all, your hit die are determined by your class, not by your background. Wizard Gary. All right. 6. No, I've 6 to the point. Thanks for that. Cool. Thanks for the bottom. How much did you heal for? Two points. Okay. Zephyr has these hands claw up at the ground. Like, yes. Wasabi chip. Yes. So, yeah, you see the sickly green hand. Green hand come out of the left and the yellow can't come up. What is this? Yes, sorry about this. This is gross. Yeah, I know. Okay. Next in the order is... What I didn't kill him. No, it did not kill her. It did not kill Zephyr. Next in the order is... It was going to be Athena, the owl woman, you see. I will take this opportunity to... You see the earth trembling around her body. It splits in the crystal. She shoots upward and flies up and over the ziggurat to the north end of the island and out of sight. And... Next up... See that from Athena? Yes. Next up is... Damn, not long enough for me to try to whip it. Yeah. I thought Rictus was maybe going to make a run for it to try and grab it. But it is the window. It's hard. You know what it is, Griff? As you start saying it, it's hard to interrupt your future. Sure, sure. And you said it, I couldn't see it. Yeah. So I wasn't going to dig through rocks. Yeah, you got to be careful there, weaver. You're right. Next in the order is... Spakin' in the end. Hellvedica is... Hellvedica is just going to reach down into her boot and she is going to pull out a small knife. And she is going to run forward to you, Lord of it, the closest target. And she's going to take a swing at you with it. 14 versus AC. Yeah, it's. Okay. And... She jabs it into your shoulder for four points of piercing damage. I don't think she says anything. She just looks in your eyes. She looks unwell. You think maybe the pressure of this competition mixed with maybe a bit of latent wizardly madness has really overtaken her. Next in the order is the spider. I bet you're happy for that with Sabi Jim now. Oh, Rick just... I believe I was... I'm just missing of your healing powers. Okay. I am very, very thankful for those two hit points now. Okay, good. Yeah, happy to help. Next in the order is the spider. The spider is... She gets the marking, right? She does. Definitely get the marking. Thank you for reminding me Travis. The spider is going to run forward and is going to... He is going to dash. He is going to use his turn to dash. He is going to run forward an extra 30 feet sort of placing him on top of the mound of dirt where the owl woman fell. And then finally, hasty Jane, ironically last in the initial order, is going to run 30 feet forward and then is going to cast expeditious retreat as her action to run another 30 feet to the side here and then is going to use her bonus action from expeditious retreat to run another 30 feet forward past the fear. Can I yell something? Sure. Oh, everybody, the one at the top can make you do things with their voice, plug your ears when you get up there. Okay. Yeah, cool. You see hasty Jane, look at you and not in understanding. And then we're back up to the top of the initiative order. You see this fancy looking gentleman. He is just kind of watching what's going down here. Knowing that you can't do anything to him until he attacks, he is just going to continue smiling and watching you all a big old creep. Next in the order is the red dragonborn. Seeing Absolute Zero approaching the right ramp, he is going to... Is that Bob there? That is Black Fire created by the Thermomancers. Who the Thermomancers? That's a great band name too. Sure. Of the West Blood Coast, he is... They're the scariest. He is focusing, he is actually concentrating on keeping this bonfire going, seeming to want to taunt Absolute Zero to come through it. He is going to delay his action. Whisper is up next. Whisper at the top of the ramp is indeed going to go over to hasty Jane. And Whisper says, please, please, please give me your key. Casting suggestion. With your warning, hasty Jane has fingers plugged in her ears. She is going to roll this wisdom saving throw with advantage and gets a 19 and saves. She says, no, no thanks. And Whisper looks like... It's just sweating buckets right now. Next in the order is Laura Veth. In order to run away, I'm going to have to fight, right? Like, Helvetica gets a free hit. If you attempt to move out of... Yeah, you're in melee range with Helvetica obviously. She's just stabbed you. If you attempt to move away from Helvetica, she's going to get an attack of opportunity against you. Okay. You get shoving run. Yeah, that's what I was saying. The only problem with shoving is that you get to make a dexterity saving throw. Against the shove. Yeah. You can choose if you want to do a strength or a dex save. Okay. Yes. So they'll make an attack a strength or dexterity, an athletics or an acrobatics check against your strength, your athletics check. So it's contested check basically to see if it goes down. Right. Okay. Yeah. I mean, sizing her up, she seems like she may be somewhat dexterous. She had a sneaky knife in her boot. So that tells you something, I guess. All right, I'm going to try to shove. Okay. She's going to make an acrobatics save. They got a three on her roll. So... I got a three as well, but it's a three plus three. She definitely fails. She's going to get pushed five feet away from you pushing her out of melee range. Oh, sorry. Actually, I should ask. Are you pushing her back five feet or are you knocking her proud? I am... Knock her here, prone. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that makes more sense. Cool. I think that's a less of a problem for Rick, Dish and Grycon. Okay. You can now move away without fear of... That was your bonus action. Yeah, that was my bonus action. And so I'm going to dash basically... Up. Fuck. I just don't want to get hit again. Yeah, no. You know what I'm going to do? Yeah, do me. I'm going to move up right to where the gentleman is. Yeah, you can absolutely get right up on his grill. Yeah, I'm just going to stand right in front of him. Okay. You stand right in front of him as you approach. He says, easy now, partner. Who can't tell? I'm an knowledgeable aspirant. No attacks here. I'm just here for watching the show. Boy, you're a strapping lad, aren't you? Hmm. Well... Here's the problem. I have no wish to harm you. You seem like a perfectly nice gentleman, but I do need to pass you. You understand, of course. My hand will be stayed. I just need you to step aside. You are... I think this would be a check of some sort. Are you intimidating him? Are you persuading him? What are you doing? Here's what I need to know from you. Sure. Here's the problem that I'm having. If words fail me here, what is an action that I can take like... That isn't going to get me... Dinged. If I lay hands on this person in any fashion, am I going to get... You have been... You specifically have been warned. No. Yeah, I know. The cops or whatever. The fantasy cops were real upset about me, but that was... I got tricked, and I think they know that, and I think that they're probably mad... Give me an insight check. Give me an insight check. See if you can sort of... Get a read on this guys' whole deal. Nine. I think you were able to piece together that he is purposefully not engaging in combat until some opportunity arises. The thought that he would take a... Attack of Opportunity against you and get marked is unlikely. So I'm just going to walk past him. Can I do that? You certainly can. Great. I'm just going to walk around. Okay. Up the ramp. Yes. Okay. 30 feet gets you to the top of the stairs. I don't. Yes. Okay. Yes. That is your final action of the turn, but you are right. You are... Gosh. You are eight feet from the front door up the top ramp. Next in the order is... Bobby Dazzler. Bobby Dazzler says, Hey, it's not nice to push people. He's going to run forward towards Zephyr. 30 feet. And he is just going to throw a hand. Zephyr has a PVP mark over her head. He is just going to make an unarmed attack roll. He... I bet it's wild to watch all these wizards engage in physical combat. It's like a slap fight. Yeah. In fact, that is a really accurate way of describing what happens he rolls a four. So he slaps across Zephyr's bright green power ranger helmet, which just kind of like cocks to the side a little bit, and then Zephyr just reaches up and corrects it. He does not deal any damage to the already wounded Zephyr. He says, Shit. And next in the order is... Hellgram it. You said Zephyr is already wounded slightly? Yes. Zephyr was hit by... What was Zephyr hit by? Oh, you, by Rick Dis. What... So it explains something to me. Sure. But the gentleman didn't react at all when Lurveth blasted past him? Nope. Okay. Hellgram is going to run up and attack Zephyr. Okay. Just with your... I'm trying to decide. No, I'll use infestation. It's just pretend. I'm going to use infestation. You are not making an attack roll, right? If you are making an attack roll while you were in melee range of an enemy, you would have disadvantage on the attack roll. But this is a save that they have to make, and so that is not accurate. So, where would you like to move to? You can basically get anywhere around Bobby Dazzler and Zephyr. Yeah, I think over to the... slightly to the right of Bobby Dazzler. Okay. Right about there is where you can reach with your 30. Yeah. And so if he is going to make a... Con save? Yes. Con save. Okay. That is a 12. Does not make it had to be 13. Okay. Then you conjure up a swarm of what? CC flies. Cool. Brutal. Fucking gnarly. And roll your 1d6 poison damage. And that is a 6. Jesus. Okay. So, I think everyone who is within range can see what happens. Hellgram it conjures up a thick, just a black swarm of CC flies. That surround Zephyr. And actually lift this green elemental ranger into the air. Moving her 5 feet in a random direction. I'll roll the d4 to decide. To the west. You see her carried away 5 feet. And you all before the swarm of flies that have lifted her up, even part you see a gemstone shoot up out of the top of this swarm and fly to the north side of the island. And when the flies disperse, they place her body on the ground and she is dead. Oh no. A bell chimes overhead. That also happened I should mention when the owl woman went down. And next in the order. I got a few announcements before you get back to the rest of the episode. We got some new merch up in the McRoy merch store over at McRoyMurch.com. New t-shirt with a helping is always a free action design on it. There's a 20 make it stick and namel pins on there. Lots of really, really great stuff this month. And 10% of all of our merch proceeds this month will be donated to Border Angels. Whose services include educational programs, water drops in the desert, day laborer outreach, familiars reunite us in Migration Bond Fund program and shelter aid support in Tijuana to aid migrants and asylum seekers in need. I also want to let you know that I have a book coming up very soon. It's a choose your own adventure book. It's called The Stowe Away. It's appropriate for middle grade readers. But I think it's a rollicking adventure, a survival tale, set in outer space that anyone would get a thrill or two out of. There's intrigue, there's action, there's stunts, there's everything that a book can have. I think those are the three, right? I said action, it's the stunts, right? Yeah, no, that's all of it. So you can pre-order that now at bit.ly slash Griffin Stowe Away. And it would be gosh, just a huge help to me if you would consider doing that. The book is $10 and it comes out again on March 10th. So don't wait, go ahead and secure your copy today. That's it. Enjoy the rest of the episode. We will be back with a new one in two weeks. So talk to you then. Bye. Hey, it's TV Chef Fantasy League. You know, the podcast where we watch cooking competition shows and we treat them like fantasy sports. Right now we're getting ready for top chef Carol Reina's. We spend all year covering these competitions, but now it's time for the main event. The apex predator of competitive cooking television shows. Tune in for after team and play along. With your hosts, Sierra Cotto, Mike Gabelon, and if you want to wait. New episodes every week at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. The best way to get this. Wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like. That's hard to sell in a promo like this. So we've enlisted the help of piano rock superstar Billy Joel to tell you about some of the topics we've covered. Take it away. Real Billy Joel. Did he rock spin on lexon? Worst and shove. Circle time. Sigger. Drink asses. A salad. A tower of annoyed. Keep me up. A toncapsules. Wains. World. T's bulls. Wallets. Stephen. Stalky. Gone. Fun. Size. All. Podcasts. Except that's not true. They didn't want to do. They didn't stop the podcast. No, they actually did. That was a fact of fib. Listen to wonderful, every Wednesday, on MaximumFund.org, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, real Billy Joel. No problem, Griffin. Next up is Absolute Zing. Another notch of Macarapus. Yeah. Absolute zero is going to... Gosh. He doesn't have a ton of great options here. Who fucked with the circle of black flames created by the thermomanswers of the ninth realm? Oh, piss. He is, I mean, there is a target in range. He is going to look over at Helvetica, who's downed on the ground. And I think he is in a state of... Vengeance. He saw stuff writing on my black flames. I'm fixing it. OK, cool. That looks rad, actually. He saw her stab, Laura Vith, and is going to launch an ice knife in her direction. And now it's... Now someone's just... OK, now actually that looks bad. The ice knife goes wide and flies off into the distance, striking the ground and creating a slick patch of ice outside of the red circle. And he kind of looks up at you, Laura Vith, and sort of shrugs. He is going to then move... Hmm. Here, sort of between the two steps. And he shouts up, Laura Vith, hey, will you help me up? The ramps will have to fire, and then there's this old man. And can you pull me up here? Absolutely. Absolutely. Great. I've recently been sorting through my pockets for things that I might have begun the adventure with because some friends noticed that I was nude. And there, I did find a rope. Awesome, yeah. Brought it all off. Wait a minute, please. Grycon is up next. Grycon sees you approaching the door, Laura Vith. And all of a sudden, you see this switch flip in his head. Of going into competitive mode. He is going to run his 30 feet, and then he is going to dash 30 feet to get right up next to you on the stairs just about one foot closer to the door than you are. He is just kind of playfully pushing you, not trying to actually like push you off the stairs or move you in any way. But like, you can see him like gleefully, like just stoked to be in such a high stakes competition with you right now. Next is Dead. Next is Rictus. Rictus, you're at the back of the back here. The gentleman didn't react when Grycon went either. Nope. OK. I'm going to dash to get to the steps, too. OK, that will put you just behind Laura Vith. He is just kind of like watching you all run by sort of grinning the whole time. Just being kind of a creeper. Do you have a bonus action? I don't think so. OK. Then next in the order is Helvetica. Helvetica is going to stand. And just kind of surveying the scene. I mean, she's very, very close to the spider, but a bunch of people are about to make it through the door. Her only power is minor illusion, which is not going to be of much use to her now that you all kind of know. If a big dragon appears in front of the three of you suddenly, I think with minor illusion, man, it's a great trick. And you can only do it once. You know what? From Hel's heart, she is going to strike. She's going to strike. Am I correct in the swimming griff that, like, if they don't have a key, they're going to die here in a second, right? True, true. Yeah. OK. So I feel like she'll probably give it a whirl. Yeah, no. She'll go to shot. She's not going to cast her minor illusion. She's going to throw her knife because she is out of movement. Is she throwing it at me? I think that's the funniest option. OK. Dang. I was going to go to the bathroom. OK. Let her throw her knife in. If I die, I'm going to the bathroom. Yeah. That is usually how it works, Justin. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Both of me am a character. Actually, he and the throws of death and me are the first three. That is a 15 versus AC. Yeah. This is a 60 foot knife throw. This is a fucking call of duty, like cross-map knife toss. And it catches you in the back for five points of piercing damage. Ah! And I believe that is enough to knock you unconscious, Laura. Ah! You go down at the feet of Rictus and Grycon. OK. Next in the order is the spider. The spider is going to move 30 feet, which is going to get him right up here with the gentleman at the bottom of the central stairs. And I think he recognizes that the person here who is, I guess, the only viable target, and probably the most dangerous since she just took out Laura Veth, is Helvetica. He is going to put a web down on Helvetica, which I'm going to draw crudely with this marker. And it's going to be white, and it's going to look like this. And that's how you know animal troubles are cool. And it's the web. Cool. Yeah. Like a mutant asterisk. Yeah. It does look like a really fucking dumbass. Well, he doesn't have time for a perfect orb weaver, shit, or whatever. Yeah, true. True, though. Next is Hastie Jane. Hastie Jane is halfway up the left staircase. Ah, and she is going to... Gosh. She sort of warned her about Whisper at the top of the stairs here. I think she sees that things are a little bit wild. Whisper is not marked for PVP, though, so that she is not going to be able to attack him. So Hastie Jane is just going to take her 60 feet of movement. She stops at the door into the ziggurat, and she says, good luck, everybody. And she is going to step inside. I look down at the fallen Laura Veth, and she says that. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Hastie Jane doesn't know who that is, really. Yeah, that's right. Hastie Jane is going to step inside. As she steps towards the barrier sort of surrounding the ziggurat, it passes sort of right over this front door. Through that barrier, it's semi-transparent. You can see the other finishers who are inside. You can see that the silver key icon kind of floating over her head sort of sparkles as she approaches the door as she passes through it. She's got vanishes, and you can see the matching icon above the ziggurat floating in the sky disappear right underneath the timer, which is dwindling every downwards. Hastie Jane has finished, and I will go for her, get rid of her off the map. That moves us to the gentleman. The gentleman is going to take a couple of steps up the stairs, just a little bit closer to where you all are gathered to kind of paint a picture of the scene, because there's a lot of moving pieces. Right now we have Laura Veth downed, Grakhan and Rick Dysall. I've said that so many times. That image is, am I right? Everyone's feeling it, right? He said it like eight times, dude. A lot of times, dude. We know we miss him, we love him. He will pull through. I have full confidence. You got Rick Dys and Grakhan and Laura Veth at the top of the central stairs. Absolutely zero is kind of like down off to the side of the stairs. You are going to help him up the side of the ramp here, but that's obviously going to be a little bit more complicated now, Laura Veth. The gentleman has started to twist down, right? Because he's dead. Right, is that the issue there? Because Justin's dead. Dad, you keep moving, hell, grandma. You keep scooting him, and it's making you real nervous. No, I'm not moving. You're getting a little free, little fee. He's just dancing from foot to foot. Playing around. Just playing around, just scooting. I can't remember. Carmine, seeing Hasty Jane finish. This is the red dragon porn here on the East Aircase. He is going to dismiss this bonfire, which I'm going to do like that, and it's going to take a while. He is going to take a couple of steps up the stairs, and he is going to create a new bonfire. This one is going to be right here. Right in front of the door. A five-foot cube of flame appears right in front of the front entrance to the Ziggurat. None of you are in the space of it right now, but unless it is dismissed, you can see Carmine concentrating on it. It will do some damage to you if you do not succeed on a dexterity saving throw as you attempt to pass through it. Then we get to Whisper. Here's at the top of the West Aircase looking at the people surrounding the top of the stairs here. I think he's a little too intimidated by Grycon. He is going to take a step towards you, Hellgramit, and he points at you, and he says, give me your key. And I need you to succeed on a wisdom saving throw, please. I have to get the number you are trying to beat. Clint is a million. No, I 12. Well, then I guess 21 does that. Whisper is having a bad run. Whisper's having a fucking bad day, y'all. Whisper is not as bad as me, the right Griffith? No, yeah, you're having a worst day because you're dumbass. You're not graveyard dead. You're graveyard unconscious. Now this is full breakdown. Whisper realizing, I'm probably out of turns is starting to really panic. He is going to move back up the stairs with the remainder of his movement, and that is going to move us over to Loravith, Dreamweaver, Gondjebond. Let's go. Let's get a death save going here. D20, straight up. Straight up. Yeah, man, 18. 18. That's one safe. That's good. Put it in the good column. It is. It does it automatically. Cool. Next up is Bobby Dazzler. Love it. Love it. Bobby Dazzler is going to make a run for it. I think Bobby Dazzler is going to make a run for the door. I think he's going to take an attack of opportunity here from Whisper, which I will do right now. Oh, yeah, Whisper hits. Whisper just kind of like punches Bobby Dazzler in the back of the head for two points of bludgeoning damage. And Bobby Dazzler, and then with that, Whisper is now marked red, which marks Whisper for PVP, and Bobby Dazzler says, out, fuck, that hurt. And he's going to jump in through the door after making a death save. Okay. That is a four. So Bobby Dazzler is going to take D8 points of fire damage. Fuck, man. No. Bobby Dazzler takes eight points of fire damage. Bobby Dazzler does not make it through the door. As he steps into the flame, he immediately ignites, and he is flailing on the deck in front of the bonfire in front of the door screaming. Bobby Dazzler is not quite down, but not quite through the door. And he is in a lot of danger here. Hellgram it. The situation has gotten very complicated in front of you. You got Whisper, marked for PVP, halfway up the steps in front of you. You got Bobby Dazzler at the top of the steps, surrounded in flames, running around screaming. You got Laura Vitt downed on the central staircase, and Helvetico all webbed up at the back gentleman's just kind of sitting here watching, and the spider is waiting for his turn to move. I'm going to start up. Okay. One thing at a time. I'm going to move up, use the ruler. I'm going to move up on Whisper. Okay. And hit Whisper with, I mean, alarm is not going to help me much, so I'm going to use infestation again. All right. So with my intent being not necessarily to harm Whisper, but to push Whisper off the ramp. Yes. So if Whisper fails on the con save, you will get to push, but it will also deal damage, but Whisper is marked for PVP, so you are not going to. What does Whisper have to beat here? I'll go on there save. Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, has to beat a 13. It's high, but what, it's not a six, which is what Whisper ended up getting. So you do indeed end up hitting Whisper. Go ahead and deal your damage, and that would be a three. Okay. Whisper still kind of like in a panic is now swatting what bugs away. Let's go with gnats. Gnats, okay. Nothing. Gnats, he is not CC flies. So with that, you get to roll a D4, and that is going to determine the direction that Whisper goes. If Whisper goes, if you roll basically a three or a four, Whisper is going to go off the steps. Three, three, three takes Whisper five feet to the east. With that Whisper floats up in the sky as the gnats grab him, lifts them up, carries them just over the east rail of the western steps, and drops Whisper to the ground. Whisper is going to take, that's a 10 foot drop, D10 points of bludgeoning damage. That is a nine. You see Whisper fall to the ground, and as they collide with the ground, they try to lift back up, but then they kind of collapse, and they are knocked out. Now, can I finish my movement? You moved up to Whisper, right? Yep. Your 30 feet. That was 15 feet. Yes, that was 15 feet. You can basically get up kind of close to Bobby Dazzler, where he is. Can I leap across to the middle aisle? Let me see. It's 13 feet. Yes. Yeah, I'll tell you what, this is going to be tough. If you give me an athletics check, Dc10, then you can jump to the central staircase. If you do not hit a 10, you are going to fall like Whisper. I don't worry about it, then I'm not going to even try it. But I will continue to move up the ramp if I can. Right up next to Bobby. Next in the order is absolute zero. Zero is going to, gosh. You hear absolute zero, yeah. Lord of it, I'm ready. Pull me up. Lord of it, drop the rope, I'm ready. Oh, bad news about that. You're not going to believe this, but Lord of it's down. Oh, okay. I'll just do it. I'll go it in from way then. Absolute zero is going to come down. Now that the flames are gone, he's going to move up over here with Carmine, the red dragon born. And Carmine still is not marked for PVP, so absolute zero. Even though he hurt Bobby Dazzler with a spell. You are right, Travis. He did. When Bobby Dazzler took damage from the fire created by Carmine, he was marked for PVP. What was Carmine's spell? Create bonfire. Now absolute zero is going to throw an ice knife at him. And for all of the two, he sucks shit at this. Really bad absolute zero has done with all of his ice knife throws. This one just goes all the way over the cigarette. He eats it. It goes flying out of sight. Next in the order is Grycon. Oh, gosh. Let's have my glass monezry with my bowl. Grycon? From my mind. I'm trying to decide if Grycon would help you out right now or not, Lord of it. I would, in Gryphon, in times of strife like this, I find that to leave the role to the gods to leave it to fame. If you don't know in your heart, then I think you got to leave it to the gods. It's really good. The dice have always been really good for us. I'm going to, why don't you roll a D20? I will say one thing. If it helps give me a vantage, I very recently did Grycon a kindness which he admitted, where I complimented his powers in front of everybody. You did compliment his powers in front of everybody, which was a great kindness. So I will let you make a luck roll 11 or higher. And I think Grycon will be moved to help you go and roll a D20. Why you? You? By you, the G. Yes. Gryphon will be moved to help you. I will be moved to help Grycon to literally move the piece. Yeah, it's a 19. Yeah. Okay. Grycon looks down at you and leans down and he says, when this is all over, you can tell me that I won this one fair and square. And he is going to hoist you up by the arms under your armpits and he is going to try to drag you backwards through the flames. So get a nice sear. This is going to be a dexave with disadvantage as he is dragging you and my dexave. His dexave? His dexave. That is going to be insufficient for him. As he drags you backwards through the flames, you are still unconscious. He takes five points of fire damage. However, he sticks with it and he drags you backwards through the fires. And everyone else gathered around you see Grycon and Loravith pass through the flames, pass through the barrier. You are unconscious and you are through the barrier. You are not dead. Grycon has pulled you through. That is going to move us over to rictus. Yes. I am going to cast wither and bloom. Okay. Targeting car mine. Awesome. Hit. A con save. You got to beat 13. Okay. Nine plus two. Eleven does not beat it. Okay. Car mine is going to take some damage here. Oh, that is six points of damage. I am going to do it. Okay. And Car mine is now going to have to make a con save to manage concentration and gets a six. As you hit car mine for six points of damage, you see those hands grasping at him. It is enough to one drain some of the life from him, but also you can see him like really, really freak out as the hands are grabbing at him and that in that exact instant makes the flames in front of the door disappear. And Loravith is safe now, right? Loravith is safe. Loravith is inside. Okay. Then I will trigger one of Bobby Dazler's heels. Okay. That is a very nice of you. How much does Bobby Dazler use as a hit dice? Yeah. One hit. And the roll D6, six. Bobby Dazler is immediately the flames just kind of subside and he looks down at himself and he looks at you. He says, was that you, man? All right. Yeah. It was, yeah. The heel. Awesome, man. Oh, God. Oh, you big time. And he does a body roll. I wish he wouldn't. And then I'm going to ski down. All right. Now that the fire's gone, Bobby Dazler's up. Hell Graham has got a no one in front of him. I mean, I don't know how it's lose zero for zero. Right. Awesome. Yeah. Great. You approached the door. And I need you to give me a dexterity saving throw, please. The number you're trying to beat is a 14. Hmm. That was a 13, Griffin. Here is what happens. You approached the door and just as you're about to step through the barrier, time stops. You are not able to see anything except the door in front of you and through the door in front of you. You can see time has frozen as well. You are conscious in this frozen state. The flames are that were sort of still licking at the floor are frozen in place. Everything has stopped. You don't see anything. But you hear footsteps behind you. And the gentleman walks up the gentleman, the rest of you, who are still in the scene, can see is the only thing moving as he has deployed his ready to action to cast a spell to stop time. It is on another level of arcane power than I think any of you are familiar with. He is going to step as close to the door as he can and he reaches forwards and he grabs your golden key. As he grabs your golden key, time catches back up. And the world begins to move again and you have rictus a moment where you can see him standing in front of you holding your golden key. You reach out and he takes a step backwards through the gate. Just as your fingertips brush the air in front of him failing to stop him from stealing your key, the gentleman has taken your golden key and you are stuck at the top of the stairs. What a wiener. Next up is Helvetica. Helvetica is going to try and break out of the web and succeeds. And Helvetica is going to take a dash action to get up towards the stairs. It's not going to get in range of the spider but it doesn't move past the spider because Helvetica is pretty beat up at this point. It does not want to take an attack of opportunity and that is going to move us to the spider who is going to push Helvetica away with a key 20 roll. Is unable to, these two are just kind of locked in combat here. Is not the beefiest guy and does not want to take a stab. And so they are just kind of in gridlock here at the bottom of the stairs. That moves us back to Carmine. Carmine is going to create another bonfire this time right on Absolute Zero. Who's going to make a deck save and succeeds. But there is a fire back at the bottom of the right staircase again and dead, dead, dead in the door. Bobby Dazzler is up next. Bobby Dazzler looks at you, Rictus and says, hey, where's your key go, dude? Yeah, the gentleman took it. What are you going to do? I don't know. Give me an insight check. OK. That's a six, Griffin. OK. That's not very good. Listen, I'll be straight with you. You're the numbers. I know numbers. I'm not going to listen. I'm not going to bullshit. We're not going to see here all day and argue about what numbers are being won. Number of lists of lists. Listen, travel on to get inside the veil a little bit. Griffin did want to reveal some sort of characters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now he knows that he absolutely can. And we've run it up against one of the classic, classic issues with this as a storytelling video. Bobby Dazzler looks like you want to tell me something, but I don't know what it is. Bobby Dazzler looks around at the battlefield, looks up at the clock, looks at you, looks at the door, looks at a lot of stuff, man. And he says, he's going to look at all over. Just kind of doing a great, giving it a quick butchers. He says, I got, I can't. I'm you saved my life, dude. I'm on or bound to help you, but I'm not going to give you my key. So I'm just going to have to, I'm just going to have to get somebody else's. Bobby Dazzler's going to run over to hell, Graham, and he is going to hit hell, Graham, it with his spell, which is color spray. Hell, Graham, Bobby Dazzler runs over to you after talking to Rictus for a moment. He extends his hands and he is going to launch a volley of colorful orbs that surround your head and dazzle your senses as is what Bobby Dazzler does. Sure. You are going to. Oh, he actually rolls 60-10. The total is how many hit points of the creatures the spell can affect. So you only have two hit points. So this is not going to be, this is going to be tough to avoid. OK, he definitely has enough for you. You as the lights shine into your eyes, you are blinded. You cannot see anything in front of you. You get like a mental image of where you are. You are like 10 foot from the steps with Bobby Dazzler in front of you and Rictus in front of the door. But you are unable to see exactly the scene around you. I think with the left over points, he is going to make the orbs fly over towards Carmine, not wanting to be caught on fire and sort of still soar about being set on fire in the first place. The orbs go over and surround Carmine as well. And you can see Carmine. Well, you can't see Hellgram it, but Rictus, you can see Carmine start to grasp the air around him as he is blinded. Next in the order is Bobby Dazzler. Dazzler just went Hellgram it. OK. OK. Dad, I don't know how to say this, but you've got to spank Griffin. He's like, that's your son. You've got to get the respect back in line. Yeah. You got to use a spell on him or something. Let's see. Like me, like me, like is a game, dude. It's a game and it's a story. But like, there is, I know, but like just as a dad, I feel like you've gone, I really feel out a lot. Travis, if there's anything that we've learned, Griffin, from a lot of propaganda, the game bleeds into real life and it can cause problems. And right now I feel like D&D is getting out of here. There's a respect issue. It's just a respect issue. Carmine succeeded on his constitution, saving throw to manage the fire. Then is where I've absolutely zeroed. Sorry. Go ahead, Hellgram. Yeah. Cool. I am going to, okay, so he's standing right in front of me, right? Yeah. And I have a mental image of where he is. You do. So the blinded condition does the following. You automatically fail any ability to check their requires site. Attack rolls against you have advantage and attack rolls you do have a disadvantage. Other than that, like you can still do stuff. You know where Bobby Dazzler is. He is literally within melee range of you so you could reach out and grab him no problem. You are close enough to the door that you could probably navigate your way there whether or not Bobby Dazzler or Rictus would allow you to do that is, you know, not known to you. Actually, Griffin, I think, I do believe Hellgram would say, this will not stand. And he's going to attack Bobby Dazzler with his daggers. Oh shit. OK, wait a minute. Is he tagged though? I mean, Bobby Dazzler has a key. Oh, I guess so. He doesn't need to be tagged. He does not need to be tagged. He has a key. And he just attacked me. Right. So Bobby Dazzler is totally fine. A jungle. Yeah. OK. And I'm using two weapon fighting. So I'm hitting him with both daggers. Assumably. Assumably. Yeah. You could also be swinging wildly at him with two daggers. Could be. Do you have two weapon fighting? I sure do. You have two weapon fighting. Well, I think it's if you are not like proficient in it, you have disadvantage on the second attack. Is that right? I don't seem to see that anywhere on my sheet. Hold on. Give me two seconds. OK. OK, so you are proficient in two weapon fighting. You can make two attacks. The second will use your bonus action. You can only use light weapons. Your daggers certainly qualify for that. The drawback is that the ability modifier added to the attack damage for your offhand attack does not use, it doesn't use your modifier just as the straight up weapon damage rolled on the dice. OK. Let's get that first attack roll, please. That's 15. 15 hits. You swing your dagger forward and catch Bobby Dazzler right across the chest. Three damage. OK. He has to have advantage because he's blinded. Oh my gosh, thank you so much, Travis. He does have that. How would that work? Wait, wait, wait, wait. How would that work technically? Since I mean, I know where he is, and he's standing right in front of me. Man, the rule I would love to help you out here. But the rules do say your attack rolls have disadvantage. OK. I just don't want people to yell at us. I appreciate that. Oh, there's a seven. Seven does not hit. Bobby Dazzler steps out of the way of your knife swing with a sweet body roll that sadly you are unable to see. Everyone else, though, is delighted by it. 13. 13 does hit with your bonus attack, but you need to roll again for disadvantage. 19. Yep. We will take the 13. Your second attack does hit. This is just a straight up D4 roll. 4. OK. 4 points of damage. Your first attack, you swing through the air, doesn't hit anything. Your second attack gets some meat. It gets a scream. The rest of you see a body roll tragically interrupted by a violent as a hellgram at unable to see, still manages to land a strike on Bobby Dazzler. Bobby Dazzler screams at the top of his lungs. He is still OK. Hellgram at you. You still have your move action here, but you've used your action and bonus action. So if you want to try to move, you can. You will be susceptible to a attack of opportunity with advantage against you if that is the decision you make. Well, then I'm just going to make a run for the door. OK. Bobby Dazzler is going to make an attack of opportunity. You certainly have the movement to do it, and he is going to have advantage. What is your AC? My AC is 14. First roll is a 12. The second roll is a 15. So he is going to try to punch you in the back of your head. It's a D4, and it looks like anything higher than a 1 is going to knock you out. So 25% chance here, Mack. Let's see. Bobby Dazzler rears back and issues a wild haymaker that collides with the back of your carapest skull with a crunch, and Hellgram at everything goes dark, and you fall down to the ground. Rick does as that happens, Bobby says, hey, is two out at once a task record? It's, I think so. I think it's got pretty dicey in the fight against the hunter. If we wipe, now listen, if we wipe, do we get to go listen to a different D&D product? Yes. Is that the way? We'll just cut it in here. We actually switch places with the listeners if we end up wiping. Whoa. The next, the listeners, the foreign next listeners with the most free time have to take it over. OK. Bobby Dazzler looks at you, Rick, he's still clutching his knife wound, the Hellgram. It just gave him says, all right, dude, there's your key. You got it. It's copper. It's not the best, but it'll save your life, man. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Thank you, Bobby. Yeah, get in there. It is not Bobby's turn. It is. Absolute zero's turn. Absolute zero first has to make a deck save. And fails. Absolute zero is going to take some fire damage here. Just one point of fire damage. And it's going to just, you're going to step out of the flames and it's going to try and get Carmine with one more ice knife. This is, this is, that's a four. Carmine throws another ice knife. This one. Absolute zero is not just a clever name. No, I mean, absolute zero. You can see, even though this is the third time in a row, absolute zero has absolutely wangged it on one of these ice knives, you can still, you can only kind of like see his eyes through his subzero mass that he's wearing. He still seems to be trapped in this just like aura of euphoric bliss. He is vibing so right right now. And I wasn't even looking as far as like damage. Not terrible. I mean, he's taken a little bit of damage, but the bonfire seems to have surprisingly not injured him too grievously. Next in the order is you, Rictus. OK. So I do grab how grandma's key. Great. And then I'm going to target Helvetica with the Rimblam. OK. That means you can save. Be 13. Seven. So she's going to take another six points of damage. G, ZOB. OK, that is enough. Helvetica, as these claws grab at her, they pull her wrist down to the ground. They pull her leg down off the step. She slips and slides. They pull her backwards away from the spider. And you can see she's trying to escape the grasp of these phantasmal claws and is unable to. And you can see the final vestiges of life drained from her. And she is out. And where does her crystal go? Her crystal, thank you so much for pointing that out. Her crystal is going to rattle in her gauntlet. And it flies straight up into the air and zooms to the northern far end of the island out of sight. Whisperers also did the same thing when you knocked Whisper out as well. OK. I'm going to trigger one of Helvetica's hit die heels as I step back through the door. What, sorry. Are you going to say something? Good luck. You got it, but sorry. All right, Rictus, you take the copper key from Helgramit. You take out Helvetica and Helgramit. You are able to take one hit die worth of healing. That's a D6 that is going to bring you back into the fray. OK. I roll. Yes, you roll a D6. Four. OK. Mark yourself up to four hit points. And you snap back to consciousness. You are no longer blinded, which is great. You are laying prone on the ground, though, which means you'll have to spend your movement getting back up on your next turn. You, as your eyes sort of come to, you see, indeed, there is no more key icon floating over your head to paint a quick picture of the scene. There's a lot of people down right now. You've got Bobby Dazzler with his silver key standing over you. He looks kind of betrayed, honestly, Rictus, as you step backwards and have a five-year guy that he was in a fight with. We still have outside of the gates the spider at the bottom of the central stairs with his gold key. Carmine and Absolute Zero are still locked in combat. Carmine's trying to get Absolute Zero's copper key away from him. That's it. The time on the clock floating in the sky is starting to really wind down. Next in the order is the spider. The spider is going to make his way up the stairs now without Alvetica to stop him, but he is going to stop and look down at you, Hellgramant. Why don't you give me a look, Roll? Me? Yeah. 111 or higher. Higher is better. 16. All right. With a 16, he is going to look at you and Bobby Dazzler. And he is going to say, and he is going to say, don't make me regret this. And he is going to cast Webb on Bobby Dazzler. A spray of white webbing lands on Bobby Dazzler's feet, binding him to the ground at the top of the stairs. And with that, the spider is going to finish his movement and step inside the building. We are really getting down to it now. The clock in the sky has maybe 30 seconds remaining, not a ton of time. I mean, it's five rounds of combat, but things are getting pretty dicey pretty quick. Carmine is, I mean, Carmine's just going to make a slight of an check here and try to steal Absolute Zero's key. And it's not successful. And I think Carmine is now going to, Carmine is going to just, I guess, not do much of anything. That was his action. And he can't move without taking damage from Absolute Zero. They have also kind of locked each other in here. Yeah, but there's only 30 seconds left, Griffin. There is only 30 seconds left. That is true. He's going to, yeah, I mean, he used his action to try and steal the key and was unsuccessful. Next in the order is Bobby Dazzler. Bobby Dazzler is all webbed up. He is going to try and escape the webbing. He's going to get dexterity saving throw. And that is a seven by the way. That's not going to do it. Bobby Dazzler is stuck in these webs. And he is going to use his action to make a strength check to attempt to unrestrain himself in a bit of a panic. And he rolls a 10. Bobby Dazzler is fully, fully jammed up here. Next in the order is hellgram it. Can I grab his key? You are going to need to stand up first. You are still prone from where you were knocked out by Bobby Dazzler in the first place before you were revived. So that is going to be your move. If you want to try to get his key off of him, I will say that he is restrained. And restraint, I believe, means the creature has disadvantage on dexterity saving throws. I will translate that to say I will give you an advantage slight of hand check if you would like to do that. The number that you are, well, I will roll, I guess, to see what number you are trying to beat. 13. If you can beat a 13 with advantage on a slight of hand check, you can. I guess 19. You can do that. Yep. You reach over into, I mean, you could try again for a crit, if you want, I guess. With a crit, you'll also take his pants. Oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah, way, way, way. They're jeans. They're like really good dancing jeans. Yeah. Wait a minute. Ah, no, 16. Wow, damn. You reach over and reach into Bobby Dazzler's vest pocket where he has tucked away his silver key. And as you grab it, the icon over his head vanishes and appears over your head. Bobby Dazzler looks at you in a panic and says, oh, come on, please, please, please, please, come on. Just let me out of here. I can take the other guy down. You can have my key. Just let me, let me get me out of these webs and I can try and get that last key, please. Sorry, I'm out of actions. Okay. We got that shit, man. God, how am I gonna get in the door? The door. Ha, ha, ha, ha. There's only four people left alive. Look out. So that's 24 seconds. You don't have any way of moving with a bonus action, no? You said there were 30 seconds left, Griffin, so he's got 24 seconds. Yeah, that's true. He does have 24 seconds. I'm just saying that, okay, absolute zero is up next. Absolute zero is done kind of messing around and is gonna just try and blow past Carmine, taking an attack of opportunity. Carmine misses within 11 and absolute zero is going to use his action to dash into the door. He looks at this scene where Bobby Dazzler's all webbed up and sees you sort of standing there next to him and thinks about doing something about it but then ends up running through the door anyway. Next in the order, Con through Rictus is through, spider is through, next up is gonna be Carmine. Carmine is, Helgram at Carmine is just gonna run up to you. He is going to attack you with a little chiff. We're the only guy with a key out here right now. Oh, that's right, he doesn't have a key. That is not going to hit. That is a 11, is that hit, you're AC? Nope. Okay, Carmine stabs at you, you just swat his hand away and he is looking pretty freaked out. Next in the order is Bobby Dazzler, who is again going to attempt to unrestrain himself with a strength check. This one succeeds. Bobby Dazzler is unrestrained. That is his action. Is it? Yes. Okay, and you are up, Helgram, you have Carmine and Bobby Dazzler up against you. Both of them looking at you pretty desperately as you are standing right in front of the door with your silver key. What do you do? Well, they have an attack of opportunity if I just step through the door. Yeah, they would both have an attack of opportunity if you just moved. Okay, I'm going to shove Carmine. Okay. Target must succeed on a strength dexterity, a strength or dexterity saving throw, Dc equals eight plus proficiency bonus plus plus. He rolled a four, he is not going to do it. You shove Carmine, no matter which way you push Carmine, he is right on the very corner of this platform. He is going to go off. He falls and is going to take 10 points, D10 points of bludgeoning damage. That is an eight, not enough to take him out, but it is enough to certainly take him away from a attack of opportunity range. Okay, so, hellgram it is going to drop, is dropping something in action? No. Okay. What if you dropped a thousand things? If you dropped a thousand things, I guess. Okay, what if you dropped a thousand? You dropped one of his daggers at Bobby's feet. Just drops it there. Okay. And then looks down at Carmine. Well, Carmine doesn't have a key. No man, you're the last one with a key. Bobby Dazzler is looking at you with frenzy to eyes. If you're going to drop a dagger at his feet, he will try and get it. Okay, wait, wait, let me just, okay. Hellgram it runs through the door. Okay, you're going to take an attack of opportunity from Bobby Dazzler. I know. I'll roll it on the table. What's your AC? 13? 14. 14. That is a 13 from Bobby Dazzler as he swings another on arm strike at you. You pass just out of range of his haymaker and you pass backwards through the barrier into the zikarot. And as you do, you see Bobby Dazzler. See, I wouldn't want to be. Bobby Dazzler looks absolutely shattered in this moment. You see his sort of blank expression. You see Carmine start to crawl up the stairs behind him towards the front door. And Bobby Dazzler just kind of looks at you with an unreadable expression on his face. The light outside glows blinding bright red. And he squintes his eyes staring at you. His expression, one of spite and hatred. And he hits the nastiest body roll. Anyone's ever even attempted. And you're gonna be thinking about that one for the rest. Okay. And then Bobby Dazzler and Carmine and the entire world outside is swallowed up in front. And Griffin, you're not inside because you're outside Bobby Dazzler. So can I tell you what happens inside? Inside an uneasy moment passes as all the people other than hellgram it, look at each other and share a look that could only meet gosh. It seems like the wrong one just got burnt up and we always should've gone the other way. Don't we? Boy, this bug is so nice. We really miss Bobby Dazzler already. And he's like, look, and there's a slow nod. It's like, yes, I too. Which the Bobby Dazzler had lived in hellgram and had buried. It is funny you mentioned that Justin because while the rest of you were not able to save Bobby Dazzler, we know some of the people who died and some of the people who did live through this trial. There's a lot of folks who have not sort of determined made it in through the front door. And there's a lot of folks who died on the outside failing the trial that we also have not clarified. Here's the thing. I'm not going to be the one who decides who the rest of the people are who failed and perished in this trial. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. I'm going to leave that up to you guys. Maximum Fun. A Worker-Owned Network of Artist-owned Shows. Supported directly by you.