#163 - Josh Safdie

Welcome everybody to Stavis world 904 800 stop Carl Lynn will solve all your problems on the couch today. We're very happy to have Josh Shafty Josh Thanks for coming directed an absolute banger. We got the limited edition popcorn Popcorn I had that's where you got it. I had popcorn out of it. Oh, yeah I got it at the premiere someone I know had it and they still have the popcorn in they didn't know There's pop in there I'm see pop in there when I was a kid Me and Benny were like we're gonna put a bunch of we're gonna like Store the candy. Yeah candy in this like in our in our drawer post Halloween you're talking or just general candy I think it was actually a but it went from Halloween all the way to like December Wow, you open up that drawer It was probably like a million cockroach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah horrible candy never lasted in the Halkus household But no, I'm happy you got this right here. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It went fast No, did you ever did you organize it like bounty at the end of the Halloween? It got one organization? And then it was all hands-on that I mean rappers it was yeah me and my brother I I obviously have a food addiction my brother has a food addiction and and then we have brothers a food addiction too Yeah, he's yes, he has it. He was always jacked like he runs a gym and he's like an you know, I don't he now He's like a middle-aged dad. Yeah, who's that's finally caught up to him. Yeah, he always did more than me. Yeah, that's tough But between and then our middle brother You know just a normal turn it on to insane muscle. I know you're doing the Arnold pump I think I can be split. You know what you don't want to become carrot top. No, no I'm never gonna get of course. Listen bouncer bodies what I want, right? Okay, like when I look at my bouncer body sick bouncer body just like yeah black t-shirt gut Big-ass arms big-ass arms big-ass arms big arms little titties has always been my fitness goal That's and that's all I got to get to just like but dude huge you want the big ones I want the pythons and it works you can be a fat guy with big arms And it doesn't take away your fat essence because there is nothing I love a fat guy so much because I'm somebody I could never Yeah, I just I just can't I can't do it as much as I eat. What was the fact that you ever were? Fat never never fat like I mean I don't think I've ever like I literally I just I went to the doctor the other day Wow you good you put on nine pounds. I was like hell. Yeah I was like damn dude. Yeah, I was like were you never was food never a joy for you or you just Fucking eating, but you just couldn't love me. I'm so nervous and anxious Interesting and it just eats away at the I see at the calories like a shivery dog like a chihuahua Every dog or like a guy was where he's gonna get thrown into a camp at it You know what I mean like I'm just still around. I think you're okay I Know I'm I'm definitely that's part of it. Yeah constant unease of anxiety totally totally No, I don't I never like this idea and like in my family too. It's just like I don't know I guess you call it luck. Mm-hmm, but like I don't think it's lucky. I want to be a big dude Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe did anybody just say do it into your family? There's a couple happens skinny fat in your in your older years could happen a skinny fat Skinny fat's the worst tights bad, but it might be on your horizon is all I'm saying if anything is you're not gonna become a big guy You know what it is? It's like it's your time. I'm like like the Grinch's body You don't want to be the Grinch's body Don't you gotta give it to the ground Yeah, you got it. That's so fucking funny. Yeah, no, no the popcorn got ate day of don't you worry? There's no popcorn. Okay, yeah, but I'm not even that much if you have to have I bought that in a suit Out of theater. I mean like it's not even that much popcorn. Can I be honest? I had that I had that thought where I was like This is awesome, but I'm like I'm the three minutes. It's like it's gone. Thank you for this Can I also have my bag of popcorn? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I almost thought then it looks like you're getting more to resell them, right? It looks like you're a guy who's like trying to put this shit on the popper such or no all that stuff I'm just one of the popcorn, but I so I stuck the one someone was like forgot what they're saying that were like They're like can I get a Marty jacket? I was like, I don't even have a Marty jacket Damn, I was like you want to wear my you don't see like temperature. It's like I want to sell it They were like straight up. I was like I want to sell they just told you that now like yeah Yeah, I can get like two racks for that right now And I and at the same time I kind of like respected. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it will cost you nothing to get right right Right giving me two thousand dollars, and I was like, you know what it's like on set when I would go up to like a random extra Mm-hmm, and I'm like who was just you know great and I cast them because I might do this And I'll go up to them like all right you're gonna have a line and have this thing I'm gonna walk in through here and Timmy doesn't know it's gonna happen, and I was like and you get like $1,200 He was like what like in that moment. It's like I just got $1,200, and I love that that's production didn't love that I would go around handing it out like yeah You're saying you get $1,200 you get $1,200 Well, that's kind of fun because you're like I loved it Look I cast you because you have one of the most Noticeably fucked up faces. I've ever seen in my life beautiful beautiful faces, but the upstart You might get $1,200 to call Timmy gay or something in like 1950s accurate lingo It was like you know when we were shooting in the bowling alley. There was just love that scene Yeah, my wife she like we we permits kid Douglas we used to I used to know I used to have a I used to actually have an office in this building and This guy knew Douglas they had a we were like you know freelance we did like we did commercials Mm-hmm if you had no budget right so like if you had like 30 grand to do a taxi TV commercial And you had no one to go to you came to us and we would spend $400 But it was our aesthetic you know what I mean so people like oh yeah you getting that greedy aesthetic I think that greedy aesthetic was purely financial love You know what I mean, but we were we would do so we were and but we were also trying to make feature films So we were like pretty serious and we do that stuff like an HP Printer commercial whatever yeah That stuff was like we knew we're paying bills and we were trying to make these feature films But there was this guy only bringing up because he ended up moving up state near that bowling alley and helped us find a lot of local people But he had a model agency on the floor and we were just kind of like we were so we were so mean about it We coming in you have this huge row of models sitting there like waiting to come and get their photo taken We kidding out of the elevator going from our deli and we'd be like so like nasty Stomping through and then one day one day Have you ever smelled liquid ass like the the prank liquid? Oh sure fart spray. No, this was like oh the first I got in trouble for an elementary school Remember I remember bombs you should come up for those fart spray was a spray right and I remember I had this principal principal miss Levy she I she came in because the girl I sprayed sprayed it near like God I know she claimed it like she claimed it burned her but it didn't she just didn't like me yeah That's why I did it Little kids every time like third grade. Yeah, I mean I loved her so much you put that in Good memory so and anyway, so she crunched that fucking can in her hand. She's like wow Why'd you do this? Yeah? But anyway, so we had liquid ass liquid ass is worse because This is one of the worst smelling things I've ever smelled. It's pretty bad It's a liquid one. No, it's called liquid ass comes in a white bottle drawing is like drawn by like a ten-year-old and it looks like like the type of person who had come up with liquid ass Yeah, and it was so bad you had to keep it in his hip lock bag And I remember like double bag Benny had it in the ziploc bag and he was like we can't keep it out because you'd smell it So we went out there right and we hit the carpet a few times and And then we put a camera at the end of the hallway And you have all these people who are coming in to be like I don't know in the next day Guess genes add or something and they're like oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like no one wants to say like just somebody rip ass Because they're all yeah, they're trying to be like, you know, we don't fart of course. I mean and like so like we're not We're like beauty incarnate. We're not human beings exactly who is the who is the thymaster? Suzanne summer. Yes, I believe so. She said she had never farted. I remember like hearing that. It's like how's that possible? Come on, Suzanne. You can't didn't she do some weird diet, too She was she was plugging like some kind of maybe die. I'm kind of protein-heavy diet. Yeah, you're farting on an all-protein diet I think it was South Beach. Was that her eldest? What do we got sounds perfect? I'm seeing it's called summarizing Combining eliminating sugar slash processed carbs. No sugar. That's like a keto type thing right keto. You're ripping ass But maybe she meant I never do it outside of the bathroom may perhaps I mean like you'll never hear me right, which I could yeah Still a lie, but at least feasible at least Yeah, so maybe s SBVs yeah, yeah, yes a couple silence absolutely sneak them in Who knows the thymaster? I don't know what kind of kegel control that gives you Who knows so man, you know what Suzanne let us know maybe we're wrong I remember you know, it's where is she nowadays is this say on the internet what she's up to I I saw and here's another hilarious fat memory that she I remember her on Jay Leno This I remember this diet that was protein heavy She had like a chicken wing recipe and as just a fat child you were like watching Jay Leno I was like damn that sounds awesome. It wasn't a good one to this day. I don't know. I just remember hearing about chicken wings 25 years ago That's locked in now. I mean that these are what I remember. I mean I was I would watch all the late night shows Conan was my favorite, but yeah, that's what that and like Kevin you banks laughing was amazing He's the man Conan was the best. Yeah, I worked on let I produced if I had legs I kick you and I was like just working with him was Man he's so good. Yeah, cuz he is a therapist. That was like so easy for yeah That's why Mary was like it was it she didn't have to really do obviously she had to work with him But like he is just that he was he did a he came up to me. He's like a bow for errors in your movie I was like, yeah Everyone out there right now save the bookmark able for era Conan O'Brien Able I remember that was got a little red flower and he's he's fucked on cloud nine. Yeah He's just in the clouds. Yeah, and when I worked with him and daddy long legs. He's sober now He's cool. He's got his book as a man's criminals his boy his boy. Yeah, I remember his books amazing scene It's it's dude. He's shout out a before director commentaries. Yeah, they're a counter of King New York Yeah, it's pretty wild. I love him some money and he'll do Every like what we're actress in it. He's he's my god. What a piece of ass Imagine you walk in she says, oh baby. I'm happy to see he's just like fantasizing about his life It's so good able able at that period in his life was not a present person He was I mean, maybe he was too present and drugs like messed him up. He's so different now. I didn't really know I knew him. I worked at a video store and he lived above a Italian restaurant called La Mela on Mulberry Street real garlic oil spot like everything is baked cake and gargoyle I liked it. It was good And he lived above the restaurant like probably rent-free They loved him a little Italy. They love him in Italy lives there now. Oh really and he's like he was not a sober person I didn't I don't think he ever even we worked together. I don't think he knew my name like he would call me his director I think only cuz he didn't know my name. He would be like, oh, this is my director And I'm like, I'm like 25 years old As my director right here. I was like, I'm thinking this guy does not know my name at all like at all But that's so like the lifestyle he was living so he would come into the video store To borrow money. I was like his thing Wow, and he's he and I talked about this and one time he came in and he was just like He really wanted to borrow some money and he liked this friend of his girl Coco was working there at the time and she was like, I can't I gotta call the boss if you want to do that Mike I call me it's like, well, I don't know you don't have to come out. You don't have to come. Yeah, yeah, yeah So then whatever and then like but then on Sunday He'd bring a cut like a rough cut of go-go tales when the phone movie and we'd all be he'd be showing it to us And he'd spend like three hours talking to us about making the movie So he was always a really really really that's pretty sick like sweet Giving guy, but he was drug addict. So like yeah, he could you know get himself into trouble just from like just not being like there So when we were making the movie together, he was like, I want my money up front. I was like no way Yeah, no way And then I remember he I was like I told Casting I Told she was in the movie too. I told her I was like look go and meet him and give him the seventy five dollars half up front Mm-hmm, and there's a no budget movie. Yeah And shoot and she was playing hardball with a hundred fifty dollars exactly and then I can't trust it 75 the second he got the seventy five he's like I pull over over here and she was like whoa What's going on you guys? I just got a quick stop He went into the flower district disappeared behind some like exotic ferns. Yeah, and then she was texting me She's like, I think we lost him. I was like what he was in the cab She's like I think it's done and then he came back out You know whatever sure did his thing. Yeah, and then he came and he was he was amazing But like he was an incredible he made the scene better. He asked all the right questions He made the character totally lived in And this is daddy long and then yeah, he robs Ronnie in it and Ronnie's like I don't think he has when I met When he met Ronnie later when we were doing I forgot what I was like this Ronnie I was like you guys have met before and he had no idea. Yeah, that's the lifestyle. He was living Of course, he was blowing through people. He didn't know what's going on, but now he's a totally different guy Yeah, he's like super he sends me like Buddhist scriptures and and And And when he showed up to set that one day, he was like I was like, you know so used to knowing him as this other person and it's what I was kind of casting Even though I had kind of gotten to know him a differently over the years on WhatsApp, but like what's apps a whole other world? What's that's like immigrant aunt? That's my my dad's Greek people don't even have they have viber I don't even know which sounds it sounds like a competitor to grinder It doesn't sound like a wholesome texting out. I ever viber really feels like a hookup Is that a is that an is that like an exclusively non-English language? No? I just think it's a it's like a very it's a bootleg WhatsApp essentially I see all my relatives at least are Viper people so I never got on what are you on Viper? I'm on Viper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's the app look like? It's per it's pretty much what's that but purple purple Yeah, I get a lot of Greek memes Nice a lot of stuff about you crushed and they're super crushed right like they're like nine times shit One time I got a I got a I got a WhatsApp message from my Syrian grandmother who doesn't speak English It was French is her language Although she and her husband they are born in Syria. They spoke they argued in Arabic They spoke most their language like their conversations in French when they would get like romantic They would break into Italian and then English was just reserved for like their two weird grandchildren Who are not born in there? Yeah, but but I'll get a meme from her some like weird-ass mean she's nice I mean that's and I'll see it's been shared 295 times Whoa, this is like and I look forward to my friend one one time. I'll go like a 1200 times Yeah, dude, and she's like so like misguided like she'll get like hit with some fake news and run Yeah, my I don't know I think my aunt has learned how to like It's like a template and it's like Nice, so it's like flowers and it's like nice writing But then but then you can add to it She can she will then put horrific shit in it So it'll be like bunnies and like and she'll be like you should be ashamed You should respect your father more and it's like and it's like it's like a child doesn't respect his parents worth nothing and it's like lilacs and a meadow It was just like this is how you couldn't just write that you had to find the template she knew she had to reach you Yeah, yeah, yeah, the imagery. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. These are powerful powerful image. Yeah. These are powerful memetic power Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely the symbolism got me and it did make me laugh you like if I had seen that it wasn't to me I'm okay with my family now, but you know, it's an inter-family drama or whatever And if I would have seen that from my aunt, I would have been like I would have immediately been like you dumb bitch This is not your fucking problem. Shut the fuck up if she just texted that but the fact that had like a little bunny We also don't know if she didn't write it. She wrote it. Oh It's like a relatable meme is also interesting. No, no, it's not relatable She just took the cut the like template and put and just aired out a family member You would you have a go-to meme that you share with both like what's your meme right? Not really I'm not really not a meme chair. I have like I have a friend who like has a he invited me to a I I cloud stream it's called Fuck what is it called? It's called like It's called like It's it's it's pretty wild. Yeah, like every once in a while I'll go in there and I'm gonna be like let me see what Let me see if I can grab something in this moment if I can have here. Let's see shared Here I feel like he's the memes. He's the memes. They're like Like You know Yeah, I feel like lots of crying people like we share a lot of like Like weird Ultra like this is like guys who are trying to like old Fucked up looking dudes who are trying to tell other like essentially cucks how to keep the marriage spicy So it's like a fat ugly guy with like a cowboy hat And he's like pull your lady over to you and tell her and it's just like the most Sounds great, but it makes your skin growling. It's like this is private like listen. I'm glad he this guy still fucks his wife Right good for them. I'm glad it puts along a little cowboy hat and fucks her. Yeah, that's between them Yeah, I need to know this but he is trying to like he thinks it's very interesting because I think now because of everything being democratized Probably 50 years ago in their private moments Just a guy who works a regular job considered himself like a sexy guy But that would go away because you'd be like that's a ridiculous thought. How would anybody even now that's there you think now They're like they're seen maybe I can just put it a tick get a tick tock going and maybe have a couple thousand followers And it's yeah, I'll send you this guy. He's and he also he became popular amongst us because He kind of looks like one of our college friends and it's like whoa this guy's gonna become him Like because we had a friend. He's older. He's older. He's older and our friend our college friend Do you send these to him? Yeah, well I send them you know what I should be I should stop being a coward and send them directly to Because it's I send them to like our other friends be like, yo, that's my biggest fear is like my My friend's sending shit about me then they don't have the courage to share with me. You know what no no That sucks. It's not even a good thing is that we have grown apart But this might be exactly how we come back Dude, that's because I'm like dude cool. Just send them dude. You look great in this vid. I've done that ever And we will connect again. There's a there's I was weirdly sexual at the time like he was one of those guys who fancied himself like a fuck a fuck guy Oh, okay. That's great. So then he'll so he'll remember you. He remembers me. I feel seen right now He remembers my essence. There's a there's there's a hand. There's like a like old group chats with me and like old old friends Like teenage friends where our entire Relationship is kind of entirely based on sending the most insane looking people. Me like this is you. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Every once in a while like for a long time it was so endearing But we don't talk to someone for a long time and you get this is you and you're like, yeah kind of lost that Now it's just mean now this just feels mean and it gets I don't yeah worse over time because everyone aged a little worse So the guys who now look like a fucked up version of you I'm like kind of getting there a little bit because they were always like also so older and you're just like Huh, that's kind of a little too close to the bone right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely No, you're right. You pay for that with the actual currency of Intimacy, but when that's gone don't don't find any fat guy with a it might work. Yeah, it might work though This I think we can I'll keep you. Were you super tight? We were boys. Yeah. Yeah, and it would actually be a good night and every time we see each other in a way It could be like like there was a I have a I have a I have a we I'm one of my oldest friends We were really tight with this other person and that person is no there's neither and either of our lives So one time I saw him he looked at me goes Did you hear he lost a thumb and I was like, oh, he lost a thumb. That's serious. That's life changing. Yeah. Yeah, and he goes No, he didn't but he could have And I thought that was so funny You're right. He could be a completely different guy. Yeah, just like but then in that moment I was like, oh my god, man. This guy knew so he doesn't have a thumb anymore. Yeah, dominant can't pick shit up And like that's hard prehensile. That's like a real like anyone who loses a thumb I'm so like, you know, I feel for you below like ape Because that's what that's us Apart from the rest of the food chain Well, no, I guess uh, there's more brain, but you know what I mean You know what's up more, but tom is tough lying lying keeps us outside the food chain. True lying. Yeah because you can be like Early people were like to the foods that way go that way and they walk into some like cougar den Yeah, true and then they're killed. You're like now I got the food. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a part of any unions? Unions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're sag. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Saga sag doesn't have a magazine, right? They don't have like a mailer magazine. It's too big of a union to have the magazine They send stuff, but I don't know if they send a magazine. Dja has a magazine. Okay, and it's I don't have magazine I don't get magazine subscriptions anymore. I'm every time I like there is a man like a foreign Like Japan there's they're really big on magazine culture and I got been Japan I'm shot. I'm moving to Japan. I love Japanese culture. So I make them I was like, I'll do this thing, but you have to send me for life a subscription But it so comes through custom. It's not easy for them. But I get Japanese magazines and I like love that But the only other thing I get is the dga monthly. I love it. Yeah, I love it So I always like I'm always like trying to reach out and like hey, I'll write some stuff. Yeah. Yeah I love trade magazines. I know what you mean and like so but like getting mail. It's like I get some mail. Well imagine amazon's not mail. It's not mail. No, it's amazon. No, it's amazon and you feel bad That's the thing when you get an amazon magazine, like I did need this Within two days and I feel bad And it's like this is help, you know, now I can you know, whatever wash dishes or whatever Now I can now I now I get a heating pad. No, I got the ebay. Yes ebay. eBay's not ebay's mail Yeah, you have to pay for it's not free shipping. No, it's not you're paying 7.95 How long how long are you? Are you big ebay or you definitely I'm back in the zone with ebay in a major way Man, ebay is like you can just you can educate yourself with on ebay totally go through peoples It's like soul seek. I'm still deep on soul. And you can like you add the user to list and you just browse their files Whole other person's thing go to an ebay seller. They got some good stuff go to their store Like some people that just sell and shit out of their house. It's like portraits of their lives totally one guy accidentally sent me I bought a A little rug a little bath mat not a bath mat. It was like a like a welcome rug And instead I got a huge box of early awties early aughts PC games It's a huge box. It was so heavy Not using that but they were like all like mystery themed and like Tourist themes that puts me back because I was a pc games guy. Oh, you were yeah I never had the internet. We got a computer, but my parents wouldn't give us the internet. So what was your big pc game? I what about you remember you don't know jack. Do you remember that game? Held you a trivia game, right? I'm 36. I'm 41. Oh, there was a trivia game. Like yeah, it was cool. It was a bold guy Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a good game But I didn't really kind of sims kind of preparing us for the blue man group. I feel like you know, you paint jack blue Yeah, he would have been kind of I didn't but I can never got a video games. I never got sims sim city. I never got into sims Sim city. I loved you. You just like build the sickest city and then destroy it. Yeah Playing god UFO invasion and like just I just love designing the cities, but I never got into video games And you know why like if I play gta, I'm just getting five stars. It's yeah, I just want the government after it's fun That's all I'm doing. You could do that for hours. Yeah It's pretty fun. That's how I played gta and I did play it for hours. Do you do the do the narrative stuff though? Do you do I would do some of it? Yeah? Yeah, yeah Yeah, I just never like like damn. I hope my my composer. He's super into like indie video games timmy is as well Yeah, uh, you know and like I have like tyler's like tyler would like my early, you know Bonding with him was him coming over and me just watching him play gta. That's fun, too Then he would have all the breaks and the hacks you create his own character. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get unlimited guns get exploding Exactly. Yeah, fun stuff. Exactly. No, a lot of it was like a video game person So when this box arrived, I was like man, yeah, and I wrote the guy I was like you didn't send the rug He said yes, I did. I was like this is what you send and I'm not returning it Because it was so heavy. I don't want it and I gotta go and I was like it's fine It's fine. They there was junk that I was selling anyway Because it's like for me to have to go to the post office and return that thing. Yeah, it's like you just whatever Yeah, but ebay's ebay's is it's nice. I mean I wanted to keep going people like people like etsy Etsy's fine, but it does get a different vibe the logo is different, too It also is getting a lot of a lot of fake bullshit gets on there a lot of like mass produced shit gets on there Yeah, like early startup stuff totally. You want like someone's screen printing ebay will do like because here's why I'm there I'm trying to find vintage Hawaiian. Oh, sure 100% that's number. That's number one. Why I want to get it Yeah, exactly a weird bobblehead a weird. I got a christmas tree a weird like I got a christmas tree on ebay No, no, no, but I needed ornaments. I got I got some fun like simpsons christmas vintage ornaments, you know that kind of shit anything where it is anything a person Putting it taking it out of there some weird storage in their shitty house and putting it in a weird box I love when it comes like a shoe box. Oh, yeah, the best. It's awesome. The best. You know, it's like it's taped up the wrong way from like uh like a um Liz clay born Yeah, it's like I didn't order a pair of shoes. Yeah. Yeah. No, this looks like it could be a bomb. It's probably from ebay Yeah, it's good stuff. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and then I'll use the weirdest shit to pack it like some dirty socks Or if you buy if you buy records, which I buy a lot of records You get the state they they they they pay you get the record you want and then the both sides is the most like destroyed record of like that's like, you know like a A thriller record like oh wow, I sent me a thriller too, but you open it up and it's just like a million scratches on it But I like it's packing but you get to see more of who that person is totally the packing packing style And that's sure we we have law everything is so sanitized where it's like I want a little fucking junk I want to feel the person and it's nice when you and even waiting First not two-day shipping. You're like first of all, it's funny because you do stock x and stuff like that I used to a little bit. Yeah. I used to sell the free shit that I would get nice. I would sell it with my boy Supreme jacket. Yeah, you're basically the guy who asked you for the jacket Dude, don't joke. Like I remember I was but there was like at one point. I was like I was like selling posters and stuff and well, there was definitely a point in your life Yeah, you were cooler than you had money exactly So you were like all right. I got this merch thing. Yeah, you know, maybe I'll sign it Yeah, there you go. That's so funny. You have no money in the bank, but doing this could make you 80 dollars Yeah, and then there's like and then you know, I know I put uh, uh autograph Big autograph collector, but he doesn't sell in in marty's also in gems. He's the this fucking guy that guy and he gets in Gems in gems. He's the guy who's Howard keeps like pushing away. Yes. Yes. And in marty. He's able he plays like kind of like the sidekick Dude, that guy's incredible. Yeah, he's amazing. He's an amazing guy really special really unique incredible look like He went to high school with my mom and I was like, I was like, you remember my mom Oh, he's an autograph guy. Yeah, he's an autograph guy. Yeah, there was a great photo of him like at the airport with rihanna Uh, and he's in the background and I said to him like because what's interesting about well What's crazy about him in the movie is he's in the movie in marty And I saw him outside of guena this trailer once and I was like michael, what are you doing here, man? And he's like is that not okay and I was like No, you're a you're her co-star You can't do that. He's like I got this picture from em. I really wanted to get his sign And I was like you can't do it. It's not a good look and I was like, I'll get it signed for you Right and then I was like I was like because I love Mitchell and like and his collection is not for sale So he's got a great collection. He used to trade with johnny ermone. Um, that's awesome. Yeah He's a really special unique guy One of one no one like him. Yeah, and I was like, I'll get it signed for you. I promise So then like I put it and I gave it to somebody and I was like we have to make sure that quent signs This now is my mistake is I didn't do it myself and I'm really ashamed and then it got bent And he was like it got bent and I was like, I'm so sorry. I'll find another one. He goes that there is no other one So then I made it up for him in other ways But I was just like when I saw him outside the his brother too His brother always tries to get me to put music in the movies and they have a band together and they're so They're so sick. They were like make these like kind of surf like I'm interested in they're great But then he didn't give me a cd on this one Give me cd on everyone. He'll give it to me and this one He actually really nice at table tennis and he's like, I'm really good. He should put me in the movie He's like, all right, we got to get your hair cut. He's like won't do it I was like, I can be in the movie then he's like, all right But then he like showed up on the day we were shooting in the table tennis parlor and snuck into the background of the scene wearing like full 20 25 clothing and I'm looking in the background and I'm like stewart I don't know stewart's like stewie. What are you doing? He's like, I'm good. I told you I'm good I was like You're wearing a niche. Yeah All right, and he's like intimidating his brother's intimidating guy I remember we were on set shooting the scene where in there in the park And he just out of him and his brother having a fight Out of spite he would not hold his keys for the take So michel came up to me. I'm watching he's like just hold my keys So it's like I'm not gonna do it. I'm sorry and I was like stewart. Just hold the fucking keys. He's like, nope I'm not gonna do it. So I was like and Mitch was like, well, you hold my keys like sure and he gives me like the biggest set of keys so I'm like But uh, but director is great and I was like getting Mitch to go kind of like prod get between them a little bit But then I was at Odessa's house shooting this thing for promo or whatever And uh, it was like a tour of her house and she's like, oh, wow, this is the cd that stewart made I was like, he didn't give me a cd. Wow. You're all the cd And then it was like a whole album about Odessa It was amazing the music was amazing That's fucking awesome. She had a cd player. Holy shit. I told Mitch I was like Mitch like you didn't tell me He's like, oh, yes stewart made that that cd because he thought she was the best actor in the movie She is incredible by the way. I mean she's got a sagnam huge huge I mean, dude the whole yeah, we got we got a serious operation We got whatever presets came with that. We he's had the fucking thing for two years God forbid he download a single fucking sound on him stern He's getting there. Dude stern started talking about marty yesterday because Marianne from brooklyn is is the opening of the movie And then ratso's in it too and ratso wrote private parts And I'm like you wrote private parts. You wrote private parts. He's great. I didn't even realize that was him Yeah, well because he cut all of his hair off and everything. He's amazing. Yeah I went to go see a national ampoune thing at the new york public library When they were like doing their little anniversary thing or whatever and i'm there. I'm not laughing Dude wasn't laughing. It's like an hour into this 45 minutes into the name. No laughs. I was like, this is pretty weird National ampoune, I guess it's not maybe not that funny or or I mean it was really funny And then ratso gets up there and he's reading from they did this hilarious tv guide spoof Uh Actually in that tv guide spoof. They did like it was like an advertisement for rocky 30 Like he's like super old. Yeah, when did they do that? That was in 80s It was 80. Oh, yeah, they were sick. It's a really you should get that on ebay. It's really good But gilbert godfrey did the funniest jokes in it. So ratso's like i'm just gonna go through and i'm gonna read Gilbert godfrey's jokes that were published and they were the funny. He tore the house down Yeah, I gotta know that guy and the way he looked and everything. I was like, I gotta know that guy And he's special I put him in a few things and he's great But so ratso used to be a big part of the show used to call in a lot. This is like whack pack peak stern era And stern is just he first of all you only watch six minutes of the movie because the blu-ray was grainy I don't think that's true and i'm texting with gary and like gary get me on the air right now I gotta like roast Howard and I tried to get Howard in gem somewhere. I one point. I was like, let's make Howard Howard, you know So but I love marion from brooklyn. I love all of that. I have joey boots rest in peace I used I put I used to work with joey boots. I know all those guys So anyway, so he's on and i'm like, I believe Howard's like talking he's done He did rob for good time. He did a Howard for gem. So like I've got to hear him talk about my movies But now he's like talking about it in a real way. There's no Celebrity it's marion from brooklyn who he's used to like totally fred throwing in this You know, I'm like Yeah, so so he's and marion's so special and she's so beautiful. I'm like and she's so good She was so unnatural and he's just kind of like he's being nice. He's like you're pretty good You're pretty good. And he's like and then and uh, and then with rat. So he's he does say he's amazing He's like he out does timmy incredible, but he's like this guy man. He's like making one of the way he looked He's like he used to wear these dark sunglasses all the time and I was like rats. Are you trying to look cool? He's like no, no, I have sensitive eyes He's like no man, you're just trying to look cool because you do not look cool. I was like I was texting rats I was like Howard's going in on you right now Anyway, no, but it's an incredible. I mean that's the thing about I mean all the movies It's like it's like you have the cast and it almost feels like you could do a Like a getting the team together montage of you casting your movies because it's like That's my favorite part. It's incredible like the kind the kinds of people you had Jen reach out to you and Jen knows Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally right. Yeah. Yeah on begonia. Yeah, and you're so great. I mean that scene The first time you dropped this little hint of like there's some shit from the bath When you get to the house and you're like listen, man, I never did that with anyone else. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah You're so good. It was such a fun. I was great for you to cast Incredible. Yeah, she was so cool and the work she's done on this and you guys do together Yeah, she and I go deep together where you find the like the casting of it is so cool And perfect. I mean the one thing and I should have known it was going to make so much sense But I remember when like I see the trailer. Oh, no, no, no, mr. Wonderful because he's a piece of shit Because I'm like fuck that you like charting. This is the biggest shark tank fan in the world I've clocked a lot of shark. So we're best friends. I mean, he's the best He's incredible. He's so good. But I like cuban too. Even though he's not on the show anymore I like barbara a lot. Barbara is always she comes in and you're like I like barb you get the sense that she picks the winners Yeah, yeah, I like cuban because he always seems like like he's so like Cubans are rich. Yeah, he doesn't he has that vibe that he's the richest And he had some more I have to admit at the after party cuban had some aura in a fucking sweatshirt. Oh, yeah He was out doing he was you ever see the doc I did let me cook you ever see that So my producer on that He was like we were looking for money And because he tried to make that movie in 2001 or whatever and yeah, it's a documentary about like this phenom from new york who was It was supposed to be but he was this was the draft class of mellow lebron And at a time I think he was number one in the draft early Yeah, he was a year older than lebron. Oh, he was because I remember yeah And but lebron made his name against lennie at abc camp And my my producer had the only existing footage of the shot that put lebron on the map And mav card was going up to my producer being like you're focusing on the wrong guy But really I think he focused on the right guy, you know what I mean like that's a better Lebron's story is amazing and I respect him a lot for making that doc because what it takes You know, obviously marty is kind of about that too. I was going to say that it's like Like it struck me as like man if lennie was wired like marty We're talking about him right now, but it was like yeah, because lennie had all the juice, but he had no drive Yeah, it was like it was like this guy who? You know It was it was I mean the dream big right? That's the marty thing. It's like it wasn't lennie's dream It was like it was like a portrait of a guy everybody else's dream for him and he just happened to have the potential Maybe to do it. It's the opposite. It's the complete opposite of marty I mean I do what struck me about the movie which I fucking love by the way, you know not to suck you off too much But it was it was like I was like I left inspired and it was like it was like I mean anyone who has who has dedicated their life to have a podcast. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I mean yeah dreams big and which is sure and everyone should dream big. Yeah, that's why like That's why I love that's why when you like when someone who dreams big and and does it Is like reacts to the movie dude. It was like I mean that's I'm trying to be objective because It's kind of like a movie designed for someone who's dedicated their life to their frivolous kind of dumb dream that they have a random talent for what is podcasting if not I mean table tennis is more Is much I respect it way more Really? No, I guess he's casting as the new as new radio I guess but you're talking to a guy who no no, but I'm with you. You know what I mean? No, no, no I know I know exactly what you're talking about. It's a dumb it's a Like I was I was like I was like 18. My family comes here from Greece I'm the firstborn who has all the like I had You know, I had good grades actually too. I went to school on scholarship and all I wanted to do was stand up And it's like I mean that the scenes with his mom I've had those with my dad the exact like the exact so it was like so it was contention between you and your dad for sure About just like but like unspoken Just kind of like you guys just when he's trying to manipulate you all the time. Yes. Well, he yes a guilt We he guilt guilt thing is huge and there's a I think I've talked about on the podcast But there was a moment where I'm graduating college and I graduated with like fucking honors or whatever And I get a call from my dad and it's like it's like he's just sighing. He I'm just like And I'm packing up my college apartment, right? We're about to leave and he's like, uh, I'm like, hello Doesn't call me ever, right? I'm like, hello, and he's like your mom says you're uh Doing comedy And I was like, yeah, and I'm actually like kind of like, oh is my dad asking about my like desires? And I was he's like, I was like, oh, yeah, and he's like, oh, so it's true. I was like, yeah And then he's like His size again hangs up What did he want you to be I dude, I just had not that's the anything but a comedian Now he's like he was I mean, yeah now he is but it's like if he had just Kind of given me a little leash. Yeah, everything turned out how but he wanted me to be a lawyer just that general shit Um, but I just mean like as but the the movie was so incredible. You think you would have been a good lawyer I think I would have been okay at it. I could imagine this guy coming into the corridor I Think I would have been a kind of some kind of crook like that's the thing No, I mean or you could have been I really do I just like because of the like I think I would have had resentment about not Be able to do what I wanted remember the uh scene in my cousin Vinny the guy the lawyer who the the the family gets for them Who comes in with this I think he's got the stutter. Yeah. Yes. Yes the first family got yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Not my cousin Vinny. Yeah I love her as a tome maybe the hottest person in all time on film like she's I it was I love her still so much of course. She was the begoni after party and I was like stammering like she was at the after party She was Talking to I don't even I mean it's fine. It's like I get so and this whole thing is like I don't I don't ever get to like celebrate. Of course. Just like, uh, you know, it's over Yeah, I didn't want to ask you about that too because I like I want to tell me though Let me tell the Cuban thing for one second. Oh, I wasn't trying to plug then you go But I remember my producer wrote this like two page email So proud like this is these are the financial opportunities. We have mellow footage. We have LeBron footage. Just stammer Cuban He got his email. Yeah. Noah was involved, right? Joe came know it. Yeah, he was because he really knew The family that took Lenny in and then getting Noah involved actually put the I think the full From what I heard that was like why because of his Cleveland comments Why LeBron never really LeBron would like I know LeBron's seen the movie and he likes it third I never I think It it almost would be weird not weird. It would have been cool to have him But I should be like LeBron. No, no, no, we never wanted LeBron to produce. I don't mean produce I just mean like even him being more involved. I like it as a snapshot of like those guys are peripheral. It's better Yeah, having foxy rounds younger brother We sent this he sent this email to to Cuban Two days later he gets email. No, thank you Just no, thank you And but you know what? That's funny. You're really ignoring exactly. Yeah, but it's actually in a way. It's I respect it more because he could have just ignored it 100 he read it. No, thank you. That's a gentleman's move. Exactly. So I didn't get to meet him At the I didn't get to meet any of these amazing people. No, you didn't get to meet him I didn't yeah, I did anyway. I saw you. Yeah, we talked to you talked for a while we had to pursue like You know and and uh, my wife secretly had everyone had the flu that night. Oh really? Yeah, my wife had the flu She's like, I don't feel so well. I was like, yeah, I said I can get sick. I got the championship It was like you got a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah, but uh, no Yeah, but it was it was Mr. Wonderful, right Well, yeah the casting the casting and just also like talking about the Lenny's thing It's just like this movie did to me feel like a lot like a culmination of almost every All the prior work because it's like the theme one is that way, you know what I mean? True for sure and definitely gems felt that way too, but this felt like Because the themes of like The parent stuff is so obvious and the fatherhood stuff and there's no father in the movie. No father. I mean that's glaring Yeah, yeah, and then it's it him and it's just like I don't know it was like a Really because to me it almost starts like a fish out of water comedy was so funny at first. No, I loved how people were laughing Yeah, I got one right. Yeah, the lady told me to stop laughing and I said I said, I'm not the asshole lady You're I was like lady. We're in a movie. I got in a fight with a woman at the and I'm like, fuck I didn't know you know, I didn't know anybody. That was my mom Yeah, literally I was like watch this be I My aunt was there. I wonder if she Does she have a does she have a young son who was also a prick? No, no I got in a fight with a family because I was enjoying myself in a fucking movie. No My mom laughed a lot at the movie. My mom's seen it four times But it was like it's hilarious. It's like fish out of water comedy. Then it's like sort of like the like a desperation thriller, you know classic in the middle a what my but my people might say classic sort of safty You know uvra, whatever and then an incredible sports movie too Like I wanted I wanted an extra fucking half hour in japan. Yeah, I wanted I love hearing that because every time it gets there I mean, we there was a we shot a lot more table. Yeah, and then it was a lot more points It was hard and it was I believe because everyone's like you got to cut points This is too many we're not going to be able to get them all done and me and Diego who I choreographer did all the choreography with we went through all these points thousands of hours of footage And he's just an encyclopedia I he was like josh, this is a lot of points for these guys to learn And I even timmy was like I like this is each We're not gonna show 21 points. Yeah game. Yeah, but like from my point of view, I would have loved it all But it is the perfect amount. It was it was don't get me wrong I I want more until you get it and then you're like, I don't want anymore. Totally. I mean, that's the best movies too is like You it leaves you that sense of imagining the movie you didn't get that's right. Yeah Plus the other thing that you guys do great is every character could have their own movie Sure, every character is the star of a movie. It's fucking I mean, I mean like yeah even like every Some more the cat like yeah, mr. Wonderful. I went in. I'm like this movie looks incredible. Fuck. Mr. Wonderful And then you see the movie you're like, duh, of course. They're using that to their advantage They're using your feelings about everyone if you're not a mr. Wonderful fan You'll like to me He's so He was uh, he was funny because sometimes he would be unbelievable and Only three or four takes other times we're doing a lot of takes. Yeah, and uh, Kevin is just he's interesting. I mean he's uh What I like about him is He knew like wow, I'm getting this experience. Yeah when I pitched him. I was scared. Totally, you know, it was like I was on Shark Tank It felt like that what I have for you is you lose money to do my bullshit He would like fly himself and but I'll tell you a little interesting snapshot of yeah, please we were in japan and He was staying in all he was staying the same hotel and he walked around with his camera. He's an artist like he Shreds the guitar Wonderful fucking shreds. Yeah He went on an atom show and he's shredding in it. You gotta watch that And he uh, he shreds on it. He's he uh, he edits his own material He has camera setups. He understands he buys cameras based off research So he had a like a camera like like his like him on cnn You know what I mean? I feel like sent like he's his own dp when he says his own producer everything. Yeah, he'll do Fascinating. Yes. Like everything you see on tv. He's most likely in his like living room with underwear underneath And he uh, and so we're in japan and he has this camera and he's walking around taking pictures and he's on set And he's such a curious person you don't get to where you are if you're not curious And he's this interesting person and he's taking pictures of everything and then I go We were like, oh, let's go up to like the hotel we had was like the on the top floor There was a bar and you're on top of tokyo and stuff and we walk out elevator opens and I see at the bar laptop Three external hard drives a bottle of wine Two cameras plugged in a notepad and he's sitting there and it's his office There's other people at the bar like mingling having on dates and stuff like that. He's just taking it over Editing photos from earlier that day and I saw that and I was just like this guy is who he is You know what I mean? And that was who I wanted to I To making the movie directing and was all about just kind of getting him to that place And then every once in a while getting deep with like something I'm me sharing something with him That he can relate to on a deep level and then watching him Express that you're acting whatever And at times and he he does he does bring in a handful of times He really does and that's seen them seen the spanking scene When um, he's probably at his most cynical and sadistic and scary and he's with that, you know Oh my god the goon squad of piece of shit. Yeah the guys who have ruined america The guys who's fucking who's offspring are the reason our world is bad the guys who started it all Yeah, absolutely started all the guys who are laughing at this poor woman. Totally poor man's wife Doesn't matter. It's the fucking worst moment and elders. Let's go back. We're very spoiler. We don't want to see it But that was so just shows you how evil they are. Okay. Look, it's one thing for them not to care about the underclass, right? Who cares about some fucking pink bucket? It's their it's his wife and they're like, uh, it's the worst moment of my wife's life No, they're laughing they're laughing they're cracking jokes because to them even their wives are just like status symbols I mean to them. It's like I retired actress is like, oh, I'll trade her in or whatever. It's like, you know all those No, it's not a it's not a It shows that you know what's funny while we were shooting that scene one of the guys Who has a radio show? I don't remember the name of his radio show But he's sitting there taking pictures of tibby during the scene and tibby goes and someone comes up to me And they're like someone on this set's taking pictures and posting it posting it posting it live posting And like timmy's like someone's doing that and then timmy looks and he's like, dude, why you you're not in the you're acting you're acting in the movie Like what are you doing, man? That's the flip side of your casting A lot of guys like oh, I'm in a fucking movie. I'm gonna sell this dude. It's gonna be a good picture And I looked at him. I went to him and I'll be like, oh, I don't be like, what the fuck's your problem, man He's like what I was like First of all, I was getting the scene. Yeah, I mean like I'll say I'll say I'll say give me your phone. Yeah, I was like give it to me right now. Now. I got Mitchell's keys and wine But uh, but and then I just confiscate the phone But like the thing is is these guys they bring that guy brought so much but there's a um There's a moment in that where where we're going where um where kevin He says the line that we you know, I mean Ronnie like really proud of he's like you have no power here And I kept telling him I was like that's gotta come from like All of your resentments from everyone who's ever told you no and everybody you want to dominate And he goes you have no power here and he he accessed something in his throat And then when we were in the mix, I told the mix I told the sound designer I was like take that line and let's go six db on the mids drop that shit. Oh, I put the mids Bump the mids. So when you watch the next time you watch something you'll feel it. Yeah It's fucking pye con Yeah Power here Dude, he's sinister in that and that's such an incredible scene of like I let him spank the shit out of me first though Oh, really? That's a good director. I was like you gotta show me. It's gotta look hard You know, and I was like you could do it with the real paddle for me. Yeah, because you were in the for the director Yeah, I made Gwena spank me Ratso spanked me That's a good spank Fuck dude, we there's so much to talk about we got to get to some calls though But I have so many one last thing about a casting thing is like the kid who plays dion is so good Oh, man, luke man. Luke is so good. Did you find him off? Yes the side talk video where he talks about Not never having seen his dad. He goes like this He goes treyong looks like my dad's dick and everyone's like this and he goes Not that I know But it looks like that. Yeah incredible. Yeah, I saw that and I was like immediately I was like went into the comments. I was like who the fuck is this guy and I saw the handle fattrick ewing And I was like, I love this person. So I went in the next day to to running we were writing and I was like I was like I didn't want to cast him in anything just yet Uh, because there was a character whose name kept moving around and we ended up being dion, which is a great name but we but but we we were thinking of of We were just messing around and I showed in the video and I was like imagine being this guy's dad Right, but imagine he's like super powerful. It's a powerful guy The video goes that much deeper and I was like because he says because he's like my dad's dick So and he's scared of his dad. He's scared of how he's being perceived And I said I'm so imagine that dad hates sports too. So imagine that So now he's seeing his son in a viral video talking about his dick In a thing that he doesn't even like he doesn't even support Right and he's clearly wasted. Yeah, so there's so much disapproval And then I'll imagine being this guy knowing that his dad watched the video the next day And that whole thing I was like, I was the character now it's ping pong in the 50s. It's not even basketball. It's so good, dude That's yeah, I love that. He was he's great and he's he's amazing. I'm trying to like He should be doing a lot more. He was amazing. You see him on bar stool. I haven't seen him on it. So good, man No, I love them. He was he's really takes. He's really good too. He's really good. Yeah. Yeah Let's take some calls. Let's take some damn calls and go see the movie by the way folks It's so fucking good So now this part's live No, this is they're pre-recorded. Don't worry. Oh the calls are pre-recorded. Oh, I know that. All right. Yeah Grab the unrivaled samsung galaxy s26 ultra with an incredible privacy display on ee The uk's best network you can save 20 pounds per month Plus claim a samsung galaxy tab s10 like now we're talking so get yours today offer ends 28th of may Saving on minimum 24 months 125 gigabyte airtime plan eligibility credit check in terms of supply credit by ee limited claim from samsung within 30 days of purchase Verify best network at ee.co.uk slash claims At 2e we give you more More outfit choices with 20 kilograms of luggage allowance as standard More hotels built around what you love like that swim up sweet More race you to the bottom water parks on site More oh that looks good food options from poolside snacks to ala cart dining Book on app in store or online you book it to resort it at all an app to protect it keys and sees apply selected hotels I only see website for details Hey, so V all this esteemed guests Uh long time first time And it's funny because never thought I'd actually be calling in with any problems. Here you are, bro But I found out tonight My girlfriend has been keeping it for me that she is bipolar um And it's really thrown me off. We've been dating for Why? Well like seven months Um And it does seem like something her friend kind of got mad about me mentioning something about bipolar people and I thought it was What were you saying? Like yeah, it's under your business and I don't know didn't really come out and tell me um, but that's just some getting is that she's bipolar and uh How you said that? trashed bipolar people Is that well first of all shout out bipolar people? Yeah, that is true. You get some great stuff dude, man Yeah, the mentally ill in general great artists. Unfortunately. Unfortunately And get it under control by the way, we're not saying go on diagnose We're not saying get off your meds. Don't go Kanye mode. No, but remember Kanye honest meds. How good that was? That's what we want But but yeah while I was like I don't I for meds for a while I was like, oh you should need to be who you are and then I embraced it I was like, you know, you need the meds totally. Yeah, everybody goes through that right everyone I won't but what what's what's your deal bro? Like I don't know why why are you hating on your girl? I think he's just upset. I think you're upset that Your girlfriend hid this from you, but first of all, what does it say? How long have you guys been together? It's seven months, right seven months That's not long enough to be like you don't meet somebody like just so you know i'm bipolar Don't take that. Don't take that personally. I could see that being it's a stigma sometimes It's still got a stigma on it. Yeah when you started dating I could see like an std total it doesn't really affect you and it's like does she have it under control Does she need to talk does she need to talk to you about it? Have we also Also, even months is the time to tell them we're right around that. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say It's like I would say six months is a good marker and then it's like all right. She's a little late on it potentially But also that's right. Also this guy The vibe i'm also getting is like he just didn't like being scolded by her friend So now he's like you she's her friend embarrassed me. So now i'm gonna pretend i'm fucking mad you hit being bipolar That's right. He had a chip. He definitely that's that's kind of because and also it's like what were you saying about bipolar? This is really funny that your girlfriend has a secret medical condition You're like fucking pieces of shit. I wouldn't be found dead with anybody like that and it's like, yeah, they'd be mad Maybe that's why Come on honey, we're gonna go egg the fucking mental ward. What do you say? We're gonna go pretend we're paralysis sleep paralysis demons Let's paint our faces and go to the fucking mental health clinic. So yeah, dude. I don't know We don't have enough information really but also how about just handle like an adult Talk to her about it. See why she didn't tell you that's right And also maybe be the kind of person that's People want to tell you stuff and let her know that it's not it shouldn't be a stigma that it's totally normal and lots of people have different mental illnesses and She should just own it and be a little bit more proud in that way Not a prop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know you mean though. Like yeah as long as she's got her shit under control Exactly, you can say hey Now I get maybe if you're the kind of person who thinks you are a supportive partner that wants to be there for your partner And they were hiding something that's hard for them to deal with You could say hey, I want you I want to be to help you with stuff. I'm here for you. We should be a support system I don't want you to feel like you have to hide Something because maybe people other people in your life looked at this as a stigma. I don't see it as a stigma I want you to be open with me about stuff. That's hard. Yeah, don't feel like I'm the kind of person you need to hide stuff from That's a good you have an opportunity to have that conversation That's a deep conversation. You get totally you can get close really quickly And and I do think like this they're like different use it as an opportunity Exactly to take the relationship to the next level. Yeah, it's it's definitely one of those moments where it's like are we getting closer? Or is this not gonna work? I mean, it sounds like by his question. It's like his whole vibe He's like I'm out. Yeah He's fucking whoo whoo. He's like I'm so what I gotta buy a fucking straight jacket now in case she freaks out I can't afford to pat on my walls Anyway Think about it, bro. Think about how you want to behave, bro What else you got little eldest? Hello stars eldest and esteemed guest um, I'm calling because I have a You know, I'm looking for some advice on on a bit of a situation Uh, it's not near as dramatic as some of your other ones. So I'll get right into it Uh, I've been with my partner for 16 years. She's an awesome woman best friends You know, I we hang out all the time loves spending time with her Uh, an issue kind of cropped up about four or five years ago Oh, again, we've been together 16 years now And four or five years ago. We got accidentally pregnant. Oh now originally we both really didn't want kids and after that pregnancy Which we did abort uh, my thoughts around this have changed and so now I've to the last four years We've had conversations about like, hey Do we want kids and I have changed over I'm on the side of like I think I would like some ruggrass running around Damn He he doesn't but he says 16 years. He's so youthful. He's gotta be mid 30s Yeah Yeah, or even like earliest we're talking. Maybe they were like high school Yeah, sometimes it takes things like that to know what you want. True. That is true. He's got a little more here Yeah, oh a little when we stay it on the I don't want kids. Oh wait, wait, wait And so now a way of being kind of he wants kids. She doesn't want the kids. Oh dealing with it is I'd rather have her Than some unknown child, you know some some the Uh However, I can't shake these feelings. Uh, we're making a little bit of a mistake When now we're entering our mid to late 30s. There we go. So time is kind of running out if we do decide to There's no decide she's decided like you change your mind It doesn't how do I get over the the sense that Part of me feels like that's a bit of a mistake not having children Okay, and the other part of me is very firm on I think we got while I want her in my life at all Well, it's really funny that he's like Not a big deal like some of your other calls. It's just like an existential crisis that might ruin your relationship I mean my my thought is like Does she does she want to have kids at all? That's the question to me If she doesn't want to have kids at all, then yeah, and you want kids. That's a huge totally That's a that's a decision you got to make. I mean is the Is the relationship, you know, but are you getting everything you want from life out of the relationship? Then you don't maybe you don't need kids, but yeah I mean look the way I read this situation is like He's got really no case whatsoever. It's like you've talked about it. You you've been together forever going into being together You're like we never want kids you had an accidental pregnancy you decided you don't want You I mean there if there was ever a moment to be we've been together for a decade plus We got pregnant Now we're really going to think about what you you were you did think about it She did have a moment to really search her feelings and you can't get any more clear than how she feels and so I think what you can do is talk to her about it You do like this how I feel but if she's like no, I mean that's well you we have to assume maybe he has talked to her about it I don't know you were talking about my callers. Yeah cowards You know they'd rather talk to me before their wife I mean this is a crossroads in his life it is I mean but you won't I think Crossroads happen. It's real totally and he has to be honest with himself Because he says he doesn't he says if you if To us he says if I had the choice I definitely want my partner But is that you have to decide is that true because that's basically the year old that's basically what you're talking about now um She does not to me it seems clearly she doesn't want kids and it would be a huge Is it but is it maybe she just doesn't want them right now? I guess but I don't know. Yeah, look you gotta have it really boils down to you gotta have the conversation You have to reckon you have to be honest with yourself. Is it actually what you want? Um, I mean I get that too people it's okay to change your mind and also people have been together since they were that young That happens a lot people grow apart or yeah, this sounds like a high school sweetheart situation It's I mean if you talk about mid and they're talking 16 that they were 17 18 yeah, you may be 20 at the latest so Um, you know, I don't know dude. I would say It's you just gotta have the conversation But it's not looking good for kids if I had to pick if I she does not seem like she wants kids and I kind of get I mean, dude, I spent one weekend with my nephew who loved this by the way I bought him expensive toys and he was playing with this popcorn thing. He was just banging it on the floor It's always it's always the pattern. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Um Some little french imported car from soho. I mean look, I love my kids Yeah, I love my kids. I mean three Were you always a did you always want to have kids or did it just kind of happen? Ever since I was a kid. I wanted a kid. Oh really? Yeah. Wow. It's one of the little buddy. Interesting. Yeah, damn But you and you right so this guy's like but also I feel like changes happen, right where it's like Like I kind of I've always been like I don't really know I guess on some level you want kids because you feel like you should yeah Uh, and then I like that's a big thing. You feel like you should and I spent a weekend with my nephew And I'm like, yeah, it definitely changes your life It changes your life. It's a lot. You know, I mean it's a life changer If they for you know for good, but your life changes. You're not into change Then yeah, yeah, totally and I get it, but it is crazy It's like your whole life depends on like a little some little Fat piece of shit snap schedule like if some little lump gets 20 minutes less sleep One random afternoon two months of your life a room It's it's simpler than that. It's like the crazy thing about having kids is that You're just time just totally changes, right? You're like first of all, once you're seeing a change It's manifested physically in front of you and also just like a day Can feel like forever and a year feels like that. Yeah, which that time is the enemy. Yeah, I don't like time Yeah, yeah, yeah, no no no. I agree. It's not the house of time. I like more time would be nice That's what kevin always says. He goes. I don't need more money. I need more time, right? I was like, oh, wow That's pretty deep. Yeah, there's no way to get that for him to hear someone who's like super rich. Yeah, he's like But you could tell he's thinking about it. Oh, yeah, I buy that Yo, that'll happen though. Totally within the next hundred years They'll be like not immortality, but like life extension by like 50 60 years. They are gonna be maybe more That's scary though. You don't want like 200 year old people walking around No, first of all, they'll figure out how to put their brains in a poor person's young body That's what they'll do. I mean kevin o' lear will be in some jacked Broke 20 year olds body in 15 years. I promise you that the second they have that technology They're gonna do it. They're not extending their shitty bodies. Yeah, but the thank you Yeah, but isn't the body a part of the brain? We're they're gonna find out there was someone said it's like would you rather If you could If you cut off your arm, you say it's I'm with my arm if you cut off your legs You're saying I am with my legs if you cut off your head Are you what are you saying? Yeah, yeah Like and you're holding it. Are you though? Yeah I am with my head. I feel like the head. I feel like I'm just saying I'm with my head Because this is the eye with the heart. I feel like it's just to me. It's all brain. So then you're just I I am yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think there's definitely so you're so you're saying I see you're saying philosophically I think there is a the close thing to a soul Is really our brain our central nervous consciousness consciousness And what we use to have consciousness is brain and central nervous system So I think you put that brain into a different body or a robot or whatever the fuck bullshit They're gonna come up with so you oh, so here's a question. Yeah Uh, all right, so and we'll get back to the cause of course that I like this time. Yeah, yeah, yeah so if All right, so you you die right the heart stops moving The blood is still pumping You're conscious. You're still conscious. Oh, you're and are you aware that you're dying? Are you aware that you're dead until I don't think you're dead until the brain does okay? Now consciousness goes off now. Is it possible that it never turns off? It is. Yeah, I guess so we don't know right because okay, so I once I no one knows what consciousness is totally my theory consciousness is A three a holographic image. Okay holographic image That is all of our senses are coming in touch hearing sight sound Smell and it's all of it's coming in from all these different perspectives and it's creating this holographic image And inside that holographic image is consciousness You think it's a physical thing. It's a physical. I think it's maybe. Yeah, I think everything is physical. You can touch at some level Like atoms and yeah something Has to be or it's not or it's the only thing in life that exists outside of that which would be Fucking crazy. I kind of or is it an illusion or is it just some sort of like? Magic trick that like it is all these senses together and you're feeling them and you don't know what to do But I do think it's a holograph so it's like you can't grab it. Yeah Oh, I see what you mean by that I think I and maybe it's just because I'm dumb and don't want to think about it. I'm dumb too So no we're too dumb guys talking about this. Of course. This is now this is podcast Remember when I said I respect table tennis more two morons being like I think it's actually magic Which is what I was basically about to say Which is like where I'm like I think it is magic. I think like I think we have it in a way that's like I think it's just like an unexplainable like Way to perceive things that we have on a higher level than like a plant like I don't believe like a plant has consciousness Not really. No, no, no, no, some people like oh everyone I do this one This is when my thinking gets quasi mist or quasi If you want to say religious quasi, whatever where I'm like I think after but at the same time it is rooted in just like I think brain power Where it's like, I do think it's just a physical We have the the stuff the kind of brains to be able to Think in a more complex way and it's as simple as that And I would be really fascinated if it goes on forever or just change in a different way I don't really necessarily think that yeah, because the gasoline runs out. I think once the motor turns off But I do think that we are probably alive Consciously yeah for a couple minutes after we're dead probably which is probably the longest time ever totally So then you're that's what they say DMT feels like yeah, I'm not doing that though. I'm thinking about I have a friend who's done that She's she's one of the producers in the movie the Japanese. She's Into exploring how far you can go. I'm kind of interested in that I'm not I can't do anything. I gotta get more mentally strong But I want to get back because I've had some I did mushrooms once that was worse. I don't need to do that ever again I've had some good ones. I have some real bad ones on mushrooms. I had all I need is one quarter one second of a bad one for me Yeah, yeah, but but I do but I do think that like if Time disappears and you're dead and you're like holy shit. I'm dead right now Who is conscious outside of time is interesting now? We're talking about physics and shit like that Now we're getting way too far away. Yeah, but that's cool to think about but it's look what's nice about being dumb Yeah, is we don't a lot of good stuff and if you don't know a lot you can question everything Totally, you know what I mean and then you can imagine how cool versions of things when the reality is so much like my mother in law She's a genius right? Yeah. Oh tough life to be that smart and then she she's and she's like studies Just and like a dedicated a life to try and understand what it is. I'm gonna send her if this yeah We'll send her the clip and she's gonna be like you she's gonna be like get a divorce now Now she's like we she's like okay before you do anything make sure the kids are away from him Send the kids here first. Unfortunately the DNA is already passed. Yeah. Yeah, true. True. It's already all right next caller Yeah, hit us with the next one. LD Are you doing stop? Are you doing elders? Long story short my girlfriend wants to get a breast reduction. Oh, um, wait, what happened? I'm sorry. Let's get a breast reduction. Okay All right, let him finish whatever with doctors and If it's just to get below a certain way by the way pause this Yeah, we the difference in like a guy who's like He doesn't want to have kids or he's like trying to wrestle with whether he wants kids or not Will it affect his relationship? He sounds happier than this guy Like this guy sounds like he just got the worst news of all time and the other guy's still Is a little chipper even though he's facing a much bigger problem. Go ahead. Eldis consultation whatever with doctors and They said she has to get below a certain way Um As before we met We read a lot more, you know, we found them working out more trying to be healthy we both Trying to lose that relationship weight and she's getting towards Now that weight, you know, where she can get her breast reduction or whatever insurance will cover it Wow Not really asking for advice. I know that probably the long term That'd be good for her, but Is there any way I can Maybe sabotage her. You know, maybe a way to Make sure she doesn't get to that calling the insurance company. He's like she's on drugs It's you don't want to have this it's gonna go bad. You guys are gonna be on the hook for this I think it's you know, a little bit ridiculous, but she'd probably to get the breast reduction at whatever weight But how are their insurance works, you know, I'll work with them I'll work with them I really can do to Slowly make her put on weight without her noticing You know, I'm using the one who likes to put them out. This guy's really funny. I try to eat, you know, healthy and kind of good for both of us, but Um sneaking in This is funny because He has chosen like he's like I would rather have my girlfriend way more But have big like he has a funny there's a funny type of body positivity here Where he's like, can I get keep my girlfriend chubbier? Yeah, so that I just have a huge And he's made his choice. He's decided what's important to him Uh, I I mean unfortunately, man, you're just gonna have to go with her desires about her own body I hate to break it Out with a booze Unfortunately, she's a human being with autonomy Short of yes sabotaging her sneaking like sugar into her food or whatever Yeah, being like I baked a locale cheesecake, but it's full of butter and fucking honey If he did that what she would make become more eligible for the no You got apparently you got to lose weight to you have to be under a threshold to get the reduction I guess because it's like a medical but I thought that you would I thought that there was a but I thought medically I don't know how this should work. Yeah, again back to the consciousness. We have no idea what we're talking about I think it's kind of like have you ever seen like my 600 pound life where there's sometimes they're too fat for the surgery Yeah, I think what they're saying is like, oh you have to lose weight to sort of be a better candidate for surgery in general Uh, but yeah, no man support your girlfriend's goal. You start exactly you start pushing up back against that You might you may potentially could win in the four in the near time you'll lose That's a you'll lose you gotta the people need to be happy. Yeah, man. Sorry pal How dejected his voice was it's so funny. So he's kind of doing a bit but in the in really he's not What else we got LD? Hey, stavey Um, so I'm gonna get right to it. Uh, I'm a dog walker and I keep running into this issue where I've got a door guy that keeps harassing me The first thing he said was like I just made an off comment saying like my feet hurt It was my last walk and he was just like, oh, I really wish I could massage them Oh Straight to massage to a stranger That's fucking insane This is crazy. That's crazy when you're a door maker. You're just the same spot And you're like in a little suit multiple times a day damn Then he like asked me about like my Halloween costume On another day and he asked me if it was like sexy and if I could see pictures Oh my god pictures And today he like physically like grazed my arm. Oh, no This is over This guy to talk to the residents, but it doesn't really seem like there's really much he can do I'm getting to the point where I'm about to get like really confrontational and just be like don't fucking touch me Yeah, but I'm also gonna have to deal with them on a daily basis. So I'm just kind of a pussy and Non-confrontational well, you shouldn't be I was wondering what you should do. That's basically it Yeah Someone's touching you you should defend yourself. Yeah, I mean this is this I get what she means though because yes, of course This person deserves to you know, you can get in his face report him whatever But also she's talking about the reality of the situation, which is like who knows how long that's gonna take these residents aren't really Supportive carry this guy who this guy's the kind of guy who asked to massage your feet Like he's clearly a fucking loose cannon in some ways so I guess the number one thought is like you need that job Yeah, your dog walker, you know one nice part of that job is flexibility, right? Like you're not you're not like you know, obviously Doorman building you get if you have a lot of clients in one place. That's nice But like how that's right, you know, but also I think she said she talked to the residents or what Ellis? Yeah, she said yeah, she tried talking to them, but they basically said like there's nothing they can do really They could go to the person like hey respect this person Yeah, if my bag totally if somebody else is feel like every time I come in your doorman grabs my nuts I would say something to the dorm. I'd be like, bro. What's going on here? You know what I mean? Like if my guests are being harassed by my doorman. So first of all that actually Maybe puts us in the direction of do you need this job because these people are pieces shit if the residents won't say anything That's bizarre because they they should be horrified by this behavior 100% it's crazy. Are they saying I guess we can't talk back to this person is like if that I want to know the logic behind that Yeah, and I think and like she's saying like okay I get if you're not a confrontational person because yes, I think Before you just abandon making this money or whatever you could just be like you you maybe should get comforted You should be like don't fucking touch me. You know, you can also have fucking pepper spray Whatever the fuck this guy like she could bring a friend. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely But it's just so annoying because it's like it's making her job. It's just her job And now you could bring up she could bring a conference She could bring a confrontational friend could be a partner or whatever. Yeah, and who can step to him totally and it sucks By the way, I heard what I heard you touched her. Yeah, do it again. You're gonna have a problem. Yeah, that'd be cool You know, yeah, fuck this guy up. You ever you gotta wait for him. How about turn the tables on him? Follow him home Yeah, get a baton hit him in the kneecaps That's not real advice don't do any crimes don't do any crimes. The obvious world does not tell you to do crimes but look this sucks because The residents should have handled this right that's that's number one That's completely on them You think of it in any other way if you're doing a if you're walking their dog and there's other like, you know You got fucking electrocuted. You know, they have loose wires in their apartment. You got electrocuted. That's on them Like these are hazards that they're putting you through as essentially your employers so You if they're not dealing with it You might need to drop them. I know that's easier said than done if they're like good clients But other than that, I think you can get something you can get confrontational you that's a you can try that before You just abandon the whole thing But unfortunately no one here has your back that sucks dick because and then other than that you can yeah bring someone to Intimidate or even like if you have to you know, they don't want to say anything Is there a management company of this building that you can say? Hey, I'm a dog walker here this guy You know and you can even say the guy I don't please stop making these comments to me don't touch me ever again. This is completely inappropriate if you do it again I'm gonna report you and if you do it after that I'm gonna go to the police And that it might he might just need that again You shouldn't have to do that. That's tough for her if she feels unsafe totally not confrontational But and but you're right. It's the plan of fitness and queens there were guys that would just take showers and jeans Oh, yeah, oh and jeans jeans bro. That's why I don't know what was going on, but I caught that in multiple times I was like, you know what? Yeah, these guys need this. I'm not I'm just here to get a Pump at a reasonable price. I will never use the showers. I'm not gonna Why the fitness had really good? They had really good. What's the word visibility during the new year new year's day? Do you notice they like they like sponsored the entire event I did carolines one time the new year's just because you it was like a way to get to time square without having to do anything Because you know, you want to do it once right? You did it. I did it. I did it I want to do it once it was uh, it was fun But I mean it was just like, you know, whatever just kind of crowded the shows were horrible new year's shows are always the worst People think they want to go to a comic show. They don't they just want to get drunk But of course, but they give you a little plan for this top hat plan if it is everywhere You know the business model is working. Oh, yeah, it's a good play. It's a good but hit the elliptical Never been a part of a gym. Never. No. No, I could I'm not shocked I'm not floored by that revelation There's a there's a d. D Ramon wrote a book called lobotomy and there's a section where he tries to like Get in shape or like body build. It's funny. Yeah, it's not you don't want to see a guy like that at the gym You see I like me at the gym. No, no No, I again two extremes Fat guys do get a little credit because people Sometimes fat guys can delude themselves. I think they're strong just because they're fat And there are powerlifters that are fat or other So it's like you get a little Actually, I do think this is something that skinny guys don't get credit for it is easier to be a fat guy in the gym Then a skinny guy in the gym. That's right. I feel like in the gym the skinny guy is actually the lowest person on the total It's like, what do you exactly you're weak. There's some respect to that guy. Yeah, yeah weakling totally. Yeah, there was You're like, oh shit. Good for you, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or maybe he's Strong as fuck. Maybe you can fucking, you know fat guys love doing like oh, you're talking about the weight section All of it all of it though, but there's a there's a way. Yeah, I feel like you remember in Seinfeld the Father and son who always think they can out lift Jerry. Yes. Yes. Whatever and they always throw their back out. Yeah I am the old well, that's me. I literally have a fucking heating pads because I tried a deadlift that I was not prepared for It was nothing crazy. It was just a cake. You know what was it was a cable deadlift that I wasn't familiar with how much How many weights though? Are we talking about like a hundred pounds or something? That's nothing nothing But it was like uh, first of all, you've never even fucking been to a gym. What the fuck are you talking about? It's nothing You're strong I'm assuming you're strong. We both fell into that trap. I'm assuming you're strong. I'm not strong. I'm fat as shit You don't even know what the fuck you're talking about I could lift the bar I I got I was overzealous. I wanted to get in the zone, but I'll be back there I'll be back there I am my plan is to like I have a goal to get I want to be like 240 Which is still chubby guy. That's just the the right amount of viscera. There's a kind of fat in like your heart You got to get rid of I get under that. I'm so bad with weight. I don't even know what 240 looks like It would look like uh 50 pounds less than what I am now. I don't know Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah But anyway, it's just like a chubby guy basically nothing crazy And then I like we said I want I got to get those bouncer of the python after that. I'm gonna go pythons I'm gonna do whatever fucking Not steroids, but something you know something to juice it up, you know just to get the arms going nice We'll get there bold pony jacked arms, dude. You won't be able to tell me shit. I might dye my hair blonde It's so sick. It kind of reminds me of the record exec in wanes world. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I do I do I do the bald pony. I'm trying to single-handedly bring back. That's so sick Um, I'm trying to keep it. I had to cut it for begonia or else it'd be like do bad middle You do pony. That's the goal. I got to get to bald pony. We're close. We're really close. I got a small one But I needed a little more, you know, I need a little more hang time on that. I like the down like it down Down's not bad either. Yeah. No, I'm I'm loving this thank god the pandemic was the only reason I grew my hair out and I think we can all say it was worth it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Uh, a couple more and then I don't want to keep you forever. There's just funny shit though 245 Okay, we can wrap it up. I got a three clock. I gotta go. Oh fuck. All right. Well, that's just that's the podcast Let's do one more one more one more fun. I probably shouldn't even do one more. No, no, dude. Let's not do it You gotta you already have to go I didn't realize we did that a long time. Yeah, it was we were just fucking around This was so fun. Go watch marty's the movies marty supreme. Go watch it. I loved it. My favorite movie of the year Thank you. So good. Thank you for having me. Absolutely. And if you don't have you haven't seen josh's stuff before all I mean your movies are great. Come check me out. You guys love it. Yeah, he's we're gonna sign him up He'll be fine. He'll be dead. He'll see what a hundred pounds of deadlifting is Uh, but yeah, check out the movie. Thanks for listening guys. We'll talk. Oh, that's not bad. All right. You're straining See you next time guys. 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