Side Stories: Only Files

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh la la la la la la la la don't know why but I'm dying to try. I want to kiss the man. Whoa whoa. love to kiss the man. Oh, we were recording? Oh, great. Kiss the man. I love to kiss the man. You would. You love kissing men. And I know it. Because we're on the road this weekend. Indianapolis in Urbana, Illinois. No, I don't like kissing men in Urbana. I don't want to kiss men in Urbana. Unless, of course, you bought the VIP ticket. Yeah. And then we're going to change Urbana's name to Urbana because we're going to be sucking tongues off of the dudes in your city. This is a great intro. I'm going to suck a tongue. I'm going to suck a tongue again, but you have to buy a ticket to Side Stories Live. We have about 50 tickets left, apparently. So let's get those fuckers sold. Let's have some fun and let's fucking suck some goddamn man mouth. Yeah, we're going to suck some man mouth. And we're here sucking man mouth every week here on Side Stories. I'm your host, Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with the filled with man mouth Ed Larson. I don't like it. We've already gotten complaints about the mouth noises. Your noises of you eating mouth with your mouth. Yeah. The whole show is mouth noises, technically. The show doesn't exist without mouth noises. What is talking about mouth noises? Exactly. By the way, big news today at the old Larson-Rosing household. Yes. Our boy's losing his balls today. Ernie's getting clipped. Good. He's done, dude. I'm glad. Cut his balls off. I think it already happened by this point. Champ's getting his balls removed, too. Everybody, that means not a single man in this room has testicles. That's right. And it's really nice. That's right, man. I swallowed mine years ago. Hey, got to. Anything to fucking cut down on some of the heat, my friend. But you know who doesn't have to worry about getting rid of their balls? I did want to do a bit of a follow up because I asked a question to the audience about ball torture. Yes. Because of this story, we were talking about people that get their balls tortured. This was two weeks ago we talked about this. I believe this. And I never got to it because I got a dom that reached out and said, because I also didn't know, because I was talking about CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy that I go through. And then I saw this email that was like CBT. And it was like, oh, what's this going to be about? And then I clicked on it and it was all about how much kicking and tugging balls can take. And then I realized, oh, CBT is also short for combined ball torture. Cock and ball torture. Cock and ball torture. You should tell your therapist that. Oh, you don't think that's my opener? You don't think that's not what I'm leading with hardcore? How many cocks and balls have been through here today? It's funny that on Wikipedia, they're like, make sure you want to click on the right CBC. Oh, they're different. They're different. But basically, this dom came out and it said that they did research into how much you can torture somebody's balls. And you can apparently it takes 110 pounds of pressure to rupture a testicle. And a lot of times the girls either pull back or like whenever the dom's going to do it. Thank you. Thank you, Rob. The Wikipedia for cock and ball torture does not cut back. I do. It is bizarre. I have never seen genitals on Wikipedia other than in this room. In this room, I've seen genitals on Wikipedia constantly. It's like, to me, in this room, Wikipedia is all genitals. This is like, we're now looking at the Wikipedia entry for the humbler, which is a BDSM physical restraint device, a cock and ball bondage toy, used to restrict the movements of the submissive partner. Oh, God, just get it off of here. I'll give it to Chalamet. He needs a little humbling. He knows. He knows. I'm just looking through that guy's butthole like it's a fucking telescope. Let's take this back. Wow. So the dumb. I'm blown away by all those options of photos. It really is. Wow. I think one would have done the trick. There is. We were talking about Rosa Parks before the show. There's one. There's literally one picture of Rosa Parks on her Wikipedia page. There is. I'm looking at it. Four tortured balls and dicks in a mosaic at the top of the article. Yeah, I will say that that one cock is as big as a bus seat. I don't need any of this. I don't need any of this. So come back to it. So the Dom was saying, the problem is that we were talking about like, why do you guys get their balls destroyed every single time they do one of these videos? And largely, she was saying it just takes a lot more strength than you think to kick at that level of force in order to destroy the balls. but then largely I had other Dom say which I thought is interesting these guys talk a big game a lot and they like the lead up and the talking about but then more often than not once they get to the advanced CBT that's when the guys go safe word safe word no no no I'm good I'm good I'm good oh it's like right before a drunk guy gets the shit kicked out of him you're a pussy you can't even fight You're a pussy and you can't be like, why are you fighting a guy? Why are you fighting a guy? I do think it's like that. That they get really deep into it and then they just can't, they're not ready for it. CBT. 300 bucks an hour for my fucking CBT. But I, at least I could sit afterwards. I'm going to get it mixed with my THC and this really end my fucking fertility. Also, big ups to Bodyglide What's Bodyglide? Chub rub We're fat guys Oh, really? It's an anti-chafing stick Stick? I want some That sounds great It's right there, you can get it straight from China China loves it We know what it is, though With China, it's not that they got big guys Slippery guys Slippery guys, that's what they like Speaking of which in Indianapolis, you can see us at the Slippery Noodle. Will you? Will we? Will you? I'm going to try to get Ed to go with me after the show over to the Slippery Noodle. If you are the owner of that establishment, hold us a table. Whoop! Whoop! There's a rig of Tony's in the society, me. Oh, whoa! You got to go to the Slippery Noodle. Oh, God, we got to go. I've never been. That's where the guy tried to show me his penis. Oh! He gave me his Slippery Noodle. It's funny that it happened at the Slippery Noodle. Oh, yeah. All right. Big cover ups to talk about today. Are you we're going to start with aliens? I want to talk a little bit about this story is that I I was down on disclosure a couple of weeks ago. You hate it. Well, it's because I believe truthfully that we're past the point of needing government disclosure. I think that's silly. I think that that's why I'm anti it. I know before I was kind of bummed about aliens and Trump and all that kind of stuff. honestly what i'm more i'm not bummed i'm i'm more just saying we don't need disclosure i mean ever since the drones like 15 months ago like i've lost interest personally well it's because the problem is is that we're gonna get no answers yeah any answer that they give you is going to be a fake answer there's no way they're going to give you a real answer it's not going to happen so whatever it is he says in a speech is going to be completely fake also he just doesn't understand words. Anything. No, and the guys around him, I was just saying, so that big, you remember there was all the hullabaloo for the oh, disclosure's coming, disclosure's coming, and then nothing? Yeah. The reason why is because there was a massive pushback from the generals that are supposed to be doing the disclosing. Again, we're hitting into the world where their evangelical religious beliefs will not let them talk about aliens because to them it'd be a demon. Oh. And that if it'd not be a demon, that the only thing that they know is a demon, and if it was not a demon, then God would have showed them directly, but it was to be a demon. Oh, so they don't believe in sky demons. Well, no. Oh, they utterly believe in sky demons. That's why they're afraid of them. They're literally so afraid of the aliens that they don't want to talk about them because they think that they're Jesus's enemies. Has anyone tried to like Jimmy the zipper in the back of Stephen Miller's head and see what happens? I would love to get a hold of that zipper. I got a couple ideas for that fucking zipper. I saw the news tossing around the words, what was it, interdimensional beings? Yeah. They have no idea. So the Pentagon is completely pulled back. They're just pulled back. They don't want to deal with it because they think it's icky. It is much how, like, guys didn't want to fully investigate homophobe, like, crimes inside of the homosexual scenes in the 1970s because they thought it was icky. It's like the same thing. They literally don't want to be involved in it because they think that they're going to get demon stink on them. But there is real disclosure actually happening. Okay. So I got this. This is where the disclosure should be. It is coming from the people. And this thing is extremely interesting. It doesn't quite... Okay. I'm going to try to explain this in a way that makes sense. Please, because I need it. So in the 1980s, our egg-shaped purveyor of truth, Stanton Friedman, was a part of MUFON. He was a part of all these ufologists that was trying to bring an era of large fupa rationality to UFOs. He was a nuts and bolts guy. He only believed in nuts and bolts aspect that they are actual physical crafts that come from another part of the galaxy. And he firmly believed that there was a U.S. government cover up about them trying to retroactively figure out technology from these devices. And they were lying to the people. And Stanton Friedman was the champion of a release of a series of what were supposed to be top secret documents labeled MJ-12. The idea is that there was a group. So it's called the 12 was a group of people that had what was called majestic clearance, which was the tippity, tippity, tippity top, top secret clearance that you could have. OK. Right. This again, we don't know if it's real or not. It was a hazy thing. And this group of 12 wrote this essentially report to the government explaining all of the various ramifications of UFOs, the things inside of them, what it would be like to retrofit their their their technology. And how do we handle it socially? Like they had like a whole breakdown. All this stuff came out in the 80s. It has largely been debunked. Okay. Most people believe at this point that they were faked material that was put out in the 80s version of the intranet. Like the old internet, like when it was before, it was just like boards. That was like a game that was played. And then it came out. Stanton Friedman tried to make a big deal about it. Ruined his life. All of it. He wrote a bunch of books about it. He didn't ruin his life. He started MUFON. He died in an airport. Anybody that dies in an airport, that's sad. Carrie Fisher died in an airport. Hmm. It is sad. It is sad. I wish she died at home. Yeah. So this guy came out. This guy wrote a sub-sec. Everybody would love sub-sec. But this is interesting. This guy started like re-looking at the MJ-12 documents. I guess literally just to waste his time. Yeah. And he discovered something fascinating. It was actually MJ-13. Eee-hee. No, that's just what it is. That's a code name. It's funny you went there because I was thinking cartels. Oh, wow. Interesting. Yeah, it's our brains. 13 also, we know, that number's too big for him. Two wolves. Two wolves inside of you. So the Majestic Swells, he noticed that. So this guy's going with stuff, and they said that they had this sort of, like, stamp on it. And he noticed each one had a stamp on it with a number. 8-3-4-0-2-1. And he's like, ah, whatever. What is this? So he decided to just run that through the CIA FOIA portal. And then Jenny picked up. Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben. Seven, five, three, oh, nine. Yeah, that's the problem. You missed the last number. Yeah. Now you just got to jerk off to the sound of the tone. All right, so this guy sounded like, oh, that's just some random number. It's actually connected to something. Is it a star? It's connected to 345 pages of released paperclip intelligence documents. Okay. Have you read those? You fucker. But no, right? These were declassified. So these were declassified, these documents. So all of the Operation Paperclip, MKUltra shit. Like, MKUltra, we got to remember, we didn't know that MKUltra until Clinton was president. Okay. He was the one that released a bunch of anything that was available. He released that. I had no idea. Yes. So that's new. Essentially. These documents from Operation Paperclip, when we whitewashed all this stuff with the Nazis. Yeah. Didn't actually become declassified until 2022. Hold on. So we didn't know about Werner von Braun until 2022? I'm just saying a new batch came out. Oh, OK. Right. So it's still coming out. And so what this person understood is that they were all sort of connected to the same batch. this extremely important batch. Now, they see here, so not as far as they realize that if you look at the paperwork, it is in fact CIA JIOA paperclip that's its document that has an MJ-12 written on it. Okay. That is in the Operation Paperclip stuff. So that means whatever's in the quote-unquote fake documentary, all these fake documents, are actually... In a real document. The same stamps are on a bunch of real documents. So MJ-12 did exist. If, so it's just, we're seeing for the very first time, maybe that the documents are real. Not that MJ-12 is real, that the documents might be real. And what that might even mean, which is, we might be looking at a disinfo campaign that is as old as the entire conspiracy theory itself, right? What if we are in a world where that was faked back then and it was put into all of this stuff as a part of a disinformation campaign to make people that got access to this look silly and stupid? And when was MJ-12? Was that like back in like the 40s? Yes. 40s and 50s. So this is like after World War II, after Mussolini sold us the bullshit, this is Roswell time. This is Roswell time. After Roswell and after all of that. So this would be, because I believe this article the technically the things came it's just 47. I'm starting to remember some of this stuff. Right? It's starting to sink in. You just lost like one like bass player that was in the, like that was on Osmium. You know what I mean? You just lost one. But dude like there was another one. So there was another number. A-1762.1 was another one that they looked up and it popped up on another document that's legit. Okay. We are, I'm just saying that it's fascinating. And they are, it seems to be right now at the very top, it says, there was like one document that is approved for release that didn't come out until 20 years later. And the big thing on it, it says CIA UFOs. Six letters. Literally, dude. CIA UFOs on this thing that's like, That's what this document's about. That's fun. It's just... And that's like on a post-it they put on the front of it? Yes. Yes. So this is the disclosure. I know, but we can't sit here and believe a post-it note. It's on the fire. So they scanned it with it, right? Yeah. So this comes from the FOIA request. Yeah. So this comes from the CIA like this. It was scanned like this. And it says like official record copy below it. Yes. Cool. So it's one of those weird things. That's actually disclosure, buddy. So maybe, maybe, does this, not to throw you off, because I know you're on this and it's fucking awesome. Does this have anything to do with William McCaslin who went missing? This guy, the UFO general, the guy who was looking at all the UFOs who went missing. I don't know. I also think that this guy went missing. I think he very well could have just committed suicide. But wouldn't they have found him by now? Dudes are fucking awesome, man. Dudes hide all the time. If a father wants to go away, they do it all the time, man. He'll go out there, he'll blow his brains out by a fucking cliff and fall backwards. He knows what to do. I mean, if the government was going to chip anybody, they would have chipped this motherfucker, right? Absolutely, yeah. Wendy's got a chip. He should have a chip. I think that, you know, what if the guy just as super sad as we all are that Trump's invaded his own territory and he's sad and he blew his brains out because it ruined his life work? Hmm. Interesting. I can see that. It was said that he has more sensitive secrets about the United States in his head than anyone else. Not no more. So you really believe he's just dead? I think that. You don't think he ran? You think he would have defected to Russia or some shit? You know what's funny? I think it's the same thing that when you talk about with Epstein, obviously I think about a little bit differently now. But I think that the let's say those secrets weigh heavily on a person. Yeah, I think you could obviously have you. I think that it would make a lot of sense that you might feel quite a bit of pressure. Why not tell everyone right before you off yourself? Because you have the pride of being a loyal patriot that took his secrets to the grave. Yeah, I feel like that's what it is. It's like the royal patriots don't talk. Real patriots are fully brainwashed. That's why they're always like, where's the fucking whistleblowers? But it's connected because apparently he was working with fragments from Roswell. Maybe. Or he was told there were fragments from Roswell. He was in Ohio. It's a long way from New Mexico. But it's also, maybe he was told there were. Maybe it's a big old lie. Maybe again, maybe it's hard. Maybe he got, who knows? We don't know yet. Maybe he got a diagnosis of being extremely sick. That's quite possible. Like, how many times guys do that? Yes. They were trying to do that with Hunter S. Thompson. They were trying to reopen his case and stuff. And it's like, the motherfucker wrote that he would not live anymore if he couldn't walk anymore. The second he couldn't walk anymore, he committed suicide. Yeah. There it is. Dudes suck. Right? Dudes get sad. And instead of doing something about it, they blow their brains out. Okay? That's what guys do. What's it going to take for you to do it? Ah, well. That new Josh Gad, Chris Farley movie might be coming out soon. You lost too much weight. Oh, no, I'm not talking about me. I'm just talking about imagining that moron trying to recreate the comedy of Chris Farley in today's movie. I'm not even going to get into it. I'd be down to watch him fall through a bunch of tables. It's not him. It's somebody else. He got somebody else to do it. It's not going to be good. Oh, he's not in it. No. Oh. He's only, man, he just like. He wrote it. He wrote it. Which is worse. Oh, he also wrote Spaceballs, too. Oh, God. And he's going to be John Candy's son. He's going to be... Wow. He's going to be Mog, too. Wow, I'm just as excited about that as I've ever been. Wow, that's... Wow, I'm so... Wow, Ed, you're right. I'm so much more excited about that. Right from your play. See, that's not the only cover-up that's in the news. Oh, yeah? What's going on with the other one? So say what you will about 60 minutes, right? It's only an hour. See it only about 58 minutes to one So I they have done a bombshell report about the Havana syndrome You know people lived on multiple Yes. But this last one, it's really fucking, it's a big old one. They had a CIA whistleblower come in and basically reveal that they more than believe that there is an active CIA coverup about the Havana syndrome. For those of you that don't know or remember, it all started around 2016. The reason why it's called the Havana Syndrome was because a group of diplomats, U.S. diplomats and spies were in a hotel in Havana. And they all experienced what they believe this sort of this attack of a weapon that said that felt like an ice pick was going in their ear. They couldn't think their ears would get all popped. There was some of them would feel like a clamp was going on the back of their neck. They didn't think it was like tricyclinoxus for some bad pork or something. I mean, it just it was directed and it happened really quickly. Right. And then afterwards, they found that whatever had happened had broken or shattered the little bones around inside of their ears and all this kind of stuff all around this area. For a while, this has now been happening ever since. For the last decade, U.S. spies and diplomats have been complaining about the same thing, same series of symptoms and kind of all of the circumstances around it. And it's permanent, too, right? Some of them have permanent damage. It's kind of like long COVID in a way where they then came out. The CIA just said it's a natural phenomenon. It's what they called, which I thought was really interesting. They called it an AHI, which is an anomalous health incident. So what they'll do is they pay you that you get your insurance, your work insurance, but they still would not admit that it was like an attack. because the CIA decided that there's no way they could just make a weapon that does this thing and not, we wouldn't know about it, essentially. The CIA said that in order for them to make this microwave weapon, it would have to be the size of a tractor trailer. And we'd know it everywhere. It would take so much power. It would make all this noise, blah, blah, blah. Do we have any secret organizations inside of America that would keep a secret from the CIA? Eddie, no. but no so no so what happened is is that so the dod in 2024 i find this this is very interesting biden's white house specifically did not believe in the cia reports so they went looking for it themselves they ended up finding a guy within the dod to go buy this microwave weapon off of a russian mafioso. Okay. That could fit in a backpack. So they bought this thing that it could fit in a backpack. It does it. It is gives off no heat. It takes very little power to do. It's some kind of thing that they figured out. The Russians have been working on this for a long time. We bought it. We started testing it. We tested it on cows and shit. We're killing cows and stuff with it. And basically, they were ready to come out with all this information and this was all running up until the election. and then once the election happened it just kind of went on the wastebasket right like once they just did fuck it and they just left it alone and what they're basically saying is not only are they easy to make but they're almost imperceptible and now they're in the now the mafias are just printing them which means they're no longer secret technology everyone can have them now they're out so is this what we used in venezuela or is this what we've been using against protesters? I have no idea. I don't know. But we know that Trump called it the discombobulator, whatever it was. Yeah. He got that whole word out. I think that he couldn't say the real word. He couldn't say the real word. We got the discombobulator. There are sound weapons. This is not a sound weapon. This is a microwave weapon. It cooks your fucking brain. Crazy. Yeah. So it's one of those that we just got sitting around there and 60 Minutes allowed this out and I believe This is a bit of a limited what we call in the intelligence services, a limited hangout in which they are going to give us this little fun controversy and this thing to do in order for us to talk about anything but the Epstein trial and the invasion of Iran. All of it. Now, this is the new distraction. So it's a cool distraction. It's a I like this because we can't forget CBS runs 60 minutes and they're, you know, they're in Trump's pocket. They took out a fucking story about Venezuela recently. Yeah, they are. So the reason why we're getting this story is because this is an easier controversy for them to handle. The CIA has decided because they've always been the bad guys, right? They're always the fall guys. The CIA is like, let us take the heat. Yeah. And that's it. No fuss. No one's talking about Epstein anymore, except they are. Yes, very much so. Very, very much so. And as a matter of fact, we are about to talk about it for the next 40 minutes. Yeah, I hope you like it. You're fucking better. Yeah, they will. People have been loving the Epstein stuff. We've brought an expert on. Yes, because I need this more than you need this. You're entrenched. To me, you're an expert as well. But this next person is really who kind of like, I got to say, she helps me through every crisis this country goes through. I look to her for leadership. She is one of the smartest voices in comedy. Truly brilliant. Written for Sacha Baron Cohen. Had her own show on Adult Swim. This is our bit of, we're doing a bit of an update. That's right. There's a new podcast out called The Epstein Files Book Club. It's hosted by Jenna Friedman and Elise Hugh. Please welcome Jenna Friedman. It's an island adventure. It's an island adventure. Heck yeah, it's Jeffrey time. It is funny that Whitney was his favorite comedian. His only favorite comedian. I know, I'm like, that just means you look young. Are we rolling? Are we rolling? Can we, that can be like the promo for the episode? Yeah, absolutely. We can drop that right in. It is a pleasure to have this, one of the 500 murderers in this country. That's what you are. One of the 500 fucking killers. You belong in that fucking room in the mothership. I don't care what anybody says. Oh, I'll do the mothership. Yeah, you're fucking... COVID's over? I mean, it's... But man, oh man, this lady know what's going on. That's right. We're joined by Jenna Friedman, co-host of the Epstein Files Book Club. I'm very excited. I love your show that you do with Elise Hugh. It's unbelievable. I've listened to every episode. I caught up on the flight home yesterday. Thank you. You are a guiding light for a lot of us, and I appreciate you so much. Also, your show on Adult Swim is wonderful. Thank you. That was my dream show, Soft Focus. God, it was so fucking good. Do you still think about the cannibal cop? Never. No, I might have blocked him. I'd done a couple interviews. There was one I did with Ken Kratz, the Making a Murderer DA, and he would text me every so often. I don't even want to talk about him because I don't want to wake up his spirit. Well, I was listening to your show on the way here, and I got to say, Walt Disney World ad, right in the middle of it. Really? I thought it was a sketch on your show because it was a bunch of children going down rides and stuff like that. Thank you for bringing it up. Okay, so I've never done a podcast. There was a moment, I remember in 2009, I had done the Glasgow Comedy Festival. Mark Maron was there. He had just started his podcast, and he was like, do you want to come up to my hotel room and record an episode of my podcast? And I was like, yeah, right. Your hotel room to record your podcast? And I didn't. He did have me on recently, whatever. And then the next day announced that he was shutting down his podcast. Sorry. sorry i won't talk about it honestly it's fine it's fine it works i know he's got a really big fan base okay anyway so but i i've not done a podcast and then when the second batch of files dropped the only person talking about it was jake tapper i'm no longer on twitter because it's the whole story but i had an account that got erased twice i have it right here in my notes well because twitter used to be before elon took it over like it was like the water cooler where You got your news when I was living in New York. If I heard a sound, I'd be like, what's that? And Twitter would tell me because everybody was on it. It was like a public good. And so I don't I'm not as like clued into the news in the way that I was or the public discourse around the news. And then Tapper posted something. Jake, whatever. We're not like friends, but he posted, I think, pieces that were in the files that the DOJ have taken. off out of the files but they were the allegations were so damning and some of them were not credible and the fbi wrote not credible next to some of them but some of them were and i just like immediately posted on social media something to the effect of like we're all just like there are allegations of trump raping kids and we're all just gonna like ignore that to lose that there's videos of it yeah i mean i i'm trying to be so careful to not say i don't like If I don't I know that there are allegations and then the DOJ have removed them. And I also remember there are two different ones. There's this Katie Johnson, who I remember in 2016, she was going to do a press conference. Katie Johnson's a pseudonym. And then she got spooked and didn't. But her allegations against Trump were very damning. and so anyway i like i went into the files myself what i saw was so insane i was like is anyone talking about this on a podcast no one was there's this one epstein files podcast i started listening to it i'm like this is ai and that's the number one epstein files podcast right now by the way to be and i want to mark that it is true the number one podcast it's called like the epstein files podcast or something it is just ai garbage it's just ai and then there's this other one like called insidious about epstein that i was listening to and it actually corroborated now that i've been like going into the files and like i've learned stuff like i listened to the whole thing and it it's pretty accurate but then the voice changes from like a scary man's voice well they're all men's voices well we're trying to be safe we're trying to make it safe for you here but like to a scary southern man's voice in the same episode and it's just so it's like i don't know what is AI. It's very disorienting. And so I was just my friend Elise who I met at TED, which is a whole other thing. She has been wanting to do a podcast with me and I was like, we should just do it on this. And we got it up and running really quickly. But like the ad component, I mean, we're not making any money on this, but it's on a platform where like they'll just put an ad in the middle of it. Yes, they embed it. It's like from their UI. We've had lots of like army ads and like we have random stuff gets put in and we have no control over. We have to do whack-a-mole. So essentially you hear ahead of time when someone says they put some nefarious either ice ad or US Army ads. It's happened several times. And then you just you play whack-a-mole. You call and say, get it out of there. OK. So they go and they reach and lock it. And then they do it piece by piece. There was one at the beginning that was either about a casino or something. And I was like, no, let's not do any ads at the beginning. She's like, I can move it to the middle. Disney's pretty. That's pretty nuts. That was wild. I was taken aback. You should be making money. For a Disney ad, you should be making money. I think you make like $30. It's just me, Elise Hugh, and Sammy Junio is who edits our podcast. I don't mean to be so tangential, but I want to drop off my toddler at preschool. Or no, pick him up. And then he was in aftercare, and I knew all the kids' names. And they're not all in his class, but all the names are, you know, they're nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Astaria and Rylan and Master Magoo. Right, right. A couple Liliths. A couple Liliths. Lilith is a really advanced name for a little toddler, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you mean the ancient whore of the Bible? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but I, like, knew everybody's names. And then the teacher's like, what are our names? And I got them, but it took me a second. And then I felt like such an asshole. And then I got all their names. The kids are more important. Yeah, who cares about you? But it was like a moment where I was just like, oh, my God, if I didn't rip this name out right away, I'd, you know, so sorry. Did you do Lion's Mane? What? Lion's Mane. Mushroom extract. Oh, Lion's Mane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lion's Mane helps. It really does. It helps with some word recall. I mean, I've seen it. I've had, okay, I was at the Flyover Festival. Okay. And in St. Louis. And I went to one of their farmer's markets on my time off. And they had alligator meat, but then there was this random man who was growing lion's mane from his basement. They're pretty far from alligators as well. That's where they grow. And I bought the lion's mane and I like took it home two days later and I sauteed it with butter. And my partner who I was dating at the time was like, I'm not eating that. But his bandmate was such a good sport. And he like ate it with me like this, like old lion's mane. Wrote like four songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta treat it differently. And then he died. Yeah, treat it. Can I honestly ask, like, how is this, obviously, we talked a little bit before the show. It's like, my wife is also deeply obsessed. I'm obsessed. I kind of like the fact that we can come together about this. But I am hearing that it does affect, it's affecting people's homes. Right. Well, it's the whole thing of the gardener and the rose. You can't have two Epstein files people. Epstans. Epstans well like the like the files files yes yes file files only files I'm on I subscribe to it's only files look the only okay so we started the podcast because I just didn't see I was reading the files and I'm like I just I want to be talking about this with smart people and I want it in a responsible way because there's so many conspiracy theories and you can get pulled down by like the cannibalism and the jerky and the this and the that. And I'm like, this is what they want. They want us to have information overload. They want us to either go turn into like left-wing QAnon or fully shut down. There has to be a middle road where you're like, let's, I mean, we're not going to forget about the ICE stuff. There's a lot going on now with the war, with Iran. Yeah, just move it to another burner. Just put it there. It's on the stove. Right. I mean, I think we can like walk and chew gum at the same time, right? Like I think, and the reason that these have activated me is because I feel like this is going to be the one thing that takes this administration down. Either, you know, the Dems sweep in the midterms or something else. I mean, I think we have to, but I think that you can't. I thought that the ICE stuff was bipartisan, meaning like I didn't think anyone could justify having these like masked men and Dean Cain terrorizing people in American cities. Because Dean Cain, that would frighten me. Like if I was an illegal immigrant and then Dean Cain showed up with a bulletproof vest and a machine gun, I'd be like, wow, this is really, this is very serious. He's faster than a speeding bullet. Yeah, well, but, but, you know, there's a way that they're spinning that, you know, and they're like our borders, blah, blah, blah. But with this shit, you cannot, like, it is such a cover up. If Trump is innocent, why are they covering it up? Why are they redacting files that they've released? I mean, the cover up is so obvious to everyone, including Joe Rogan. So and then it gets through his literally expanded skull from HGH. It should start to break through. Yeah. So when I say like, you know, I think it's what's going to take them down. If it doesn't, it's taking all of us down. Like, how do we live in a in a work in progress democracy if we can't prosecute pedophiles? It didn't take the Catholic Church down. well catholic church i almost think is even more rich and established in a way that we can't understand because they still have god's mandate we know the president well they're trying to yeah but you know they don't do they don't have a doj you know they don't have enough i mean the catholic church is like an international institution that's been around for for centuries but they're breaking laws in america why aren't we allowed to arrest everyone who does it yeah that's a crazy thing yeah now i wanted to before we get too deep in the weeds on this stuff there's you've already crossed like three things i wanted to talk to you about like in like three sentences so but the first thing i want to talk about with you is a lot of mysterious things keep happening to you and i wanted to know about like what how you feel about that like first of all your twitter getting erased this weird epstein uh podcast someone did a different version of your autobiography and you got stopped at the border when you're coming back to America. You're such a nice woman. You're such a nice... Your existence makes me paranoid. Okay, okay. The framing is very conspiratorial. They're all separate things and they're very easy to explain. Okay. Sounds like somebody who's in too deep. Stopped at the border. So that was April of last year. I was coming back from TED. I was coming from Vancouver into the U.S. the customs border is on the Vancouver side. So I wasn't, I had my guard down. I was chatty. And he asked me, the U.S. customs agent asked, you know, what were you doing here? I said, I was doing comedy. Um, and it was unpaid cause it was Ted. Uh, I had a situation at the border over a decade ago where I didn't realize that I needed to, it was a whole thing. So I wanted to make sure like I was doing comedy. It was unpaid cause it's Ted. That's a whole separate issue. Yeah. He said, are you you're a comedian? What do you joke about? I hesitated. And then he asked, do you make fun of politicians? I said no. Yeah. Because you're trying to get home. It's also not the only thing that you do. I know. Also, like, is it making fun of them to state facts? You know, like that. Yeah. Anyway, I didn't. I when I posted about it, I didn't I didn't say that I said no because I was nervous about, you know, I just said, be careful around customs. I got through whatever. Oh, no, because we were going into Canada the next week, too. We're all like, oh, fuck. I'm all over everything saying I want to burn the White House down. I'm very all over the place. I don't say that. It's because you're smart. Thank you for coming on the show. Thank you. Sure, sure. You might have problems now, I guess. Well, okay. So that happened. And what was so interesting, I when I went after it happened, because I remember like I got through and then I was in a bookshop and there was a guy in the bookshop. Like I was like shopping for a present for my toddler. And I wanted to be like, I just was asked this at the border. And then I just didn't say anything because I'm like, I just got to get home and be safe. And, you know, and I then when I got home, a friend of mine works for Adam Schiff. And I said, hey, this just happened. And he sent me a meme that I had posted maybe like the previous day or around like a couple of days prior. that I could show it to you. It says stop at the borders, like drugs, weapons, something else, and ideas. And then, and it was in Politico. They posted this on social media and then they took it down because it obviously freaked people out But I believe that he had gotten that memo and was just following orders And so that why that line of questioning happened And I wasn't going to be like, yeah, I do. I do joke about politicians. Free speech. Like Trump. Yeah, like President Trump. Come at me, random man without a body cam in a foreign country. You know, I'm just I have a self-preservation. Yeah. So that happened. OK. and then I talked about it because I couldn't not and the funny thing is it's like he asked me that question and I mean it became like fodder for like the opening of my show I do a whole bit about it now yeah the ultimate sweetest revenge yeah yeah yeah and I did a New York piece making fun of Custon so like I just it became like a gift you know and so that was one thing the Twitter thing that is that is messed up but I basically I never go on Twitter post Elon but then I went on because uh I wanted to see what people on Twitter were thinking about the Epstein files and so and then once you're there you're like I gotta make an Elon joke so I joked about how like I I the files felt real just because of how much even the pedophiles didn't want to hang with Elon like that just felt like a real oh yeah you know that was one of the favorite parts of the whole thing was that everybody else was like demure about the island demure and he was just like when am I coming to the island it is everyone's favorite part and they're like ah I don't know no amount of money it's like the most money hungry craven people are still like your face is too fat you harsh the vibe on pedophile island man with more money than all of us combined so I tweeted about that and then the next day I couldn't get into my account and I tried my password. I was like, ElonSucks2026 was my password and it wasn't working. And I was like, maybe this is just, something's up, whatever. Sucks with an X? No, I spelled it correctly. Like a real journalist? Yeah. And then I was like, maybe it was ElonSucks2025, I'll check tomorrow. And when I went back to check, like even my, I actually went X-Jenna Friedman, Jenna with one N, I have to specify because there is a Jenna with two N's in the file. Anyway, I'll get back to that later but i had to and and it said account does not exist and then i felt like sandra bullock in the net yeah yeah yeah and so then but then somebody i posted about it somebody's like no there's this other account like kato ai that has all your tweets on i was like okay and then and then i was able to put up another account with my name because whoever hacked it left my domain name which is weird yeah so i started a new account jenna friedman and then i posted and then a couple people were like jenna got silenced follow her and i was like hi and then i made another joke about elon yeah and then that account disappeared and became my name with an underscore after it like somehow some programmer actually changed my url so that was my account but then i It like deleted it. And then now my account that has my name is actually restored. So it's weird. So it's like multiple. It's actually hard to explain because it's like not just a hacker. Usually a hacker just comes in, takes your profile and like posts like shitty phishing links. Yeah. But this was like multiple levels of fuckery that I that I'm like, how do you do this if you're not internally in the company? I think one of the things that haunts me most about the Epstein files is that it shows that these guys, men that run the world in these institutions, seem to really have a massive amount of time on their hands. Like, what in the living fuck? I thought these guys were all super busy. How do they how could they pay attention to you? How could that mean? Wild. That went onto his desk, the richest man in the world. And he said, get rid of her Twitter account. Yeah, they have like 30 employees compared to their social media sites. So someone had to... Individually. Yeah, it feels like that. Click your account, do the thing. Not to be anything, we're just comedians. Like on the very base of us, yes, we're trying to do work. But this idea of like every time a billionaire tells a comedian to go fuck himself, it makes the comedian a lot of money. It does good stuff for the comedians. Fucked. But also, I mean, I reached out to Twitter right after and I was like, hey, can you help me with this? And the response was swiftly like, no, I have it saved. It was just like, no, how we can't prove that you're you. And I'm like, what? Like, yes, you can. I have an idea. I have, you know, and then I mean, people like, well, why would you even give any money to Elon? I never gave money to Elon. That's why I didn't have two factor authentication if I did get hacked. But also it's like we're comedians like we have this is public record. We have to be on here. People are having conversations. Politicians are making statements on here. Thomas Massey just made a statement on X that I couldn't see. I had to find it somewhere else about the files. So it's like I'm trying to report on what's happening. And it's just crazy that you can have. And I know it's like naive. But in 2009, I made a pact with like Twitter, Jack Dorsey, where like I gave them my intellectual property, which is a lot of dumb jokes. I had communications via DM and in a second because like of some billionaire's whim all that can be erased you have no recourse we have no like we have no rights digitally or really in in reality too I mean it's funny to talk about digital rights when you're looking at like other shit that we don't ever I mean like with all the ice shit this is so small potatoes but I do think for people listening and just younger generations we have to assume that like just get offline. Like, you have no rights. They can take all your data. They will take all your data. Those little... You don't own anything on the internet. You don't own anything on the internet. They're spying on you. They're listening to you at all times. They're just trying to harvest your data. If it's free, you're the product. Yeah. Carol Codwaller, she broke, I think, the Cambridge Analytica story around 2016. She calls them digital rapists. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. You know, I guess... And now we know they're also actual rapists. Can we go back to the meta raping? I feel like it's like, fine, you can have my accounts. So you're totally invested in all of this stuff. You're going down the rabbit holes that the rest of us shouldn't have to go down and we appreciate it. Who do you think is going to go down? Like, who's really going to go down? Like, who's definite? Les Wexner or? Wexner's so old. I think. Did you watch his deposition? I watched the deposition and I were talking about him. We have somebody who wrote like literally wrote a book on on Wexner. She's going to be on the pod that'll be released on Friday. But I don't I mean, it's literally it's either our system goes down or the sitting president goes down. And he's either going to go down by just if we can sweep in the midterms and we have a free and fair election, then maybe, you know, we can do impeachments and subpoenas and like getting, you know, getting people held accountable. I think Pam Bondi's got to go. Cash Patel's got to go. But he's doing such a good job. I know, right? Christine Noem. You know, they're just... Those three people aren't really in the files. No, but they're covering up. And Bondi's connection as Florida AG. Oh, it's insane. But, I mean, Lutnik has to go. it is a cover up it's like the thing you don't want to say the cover up is worse than the crime because the crime is one of the worst crimes ever but the cover up is also a huge crime the cover up to me is a thing that's fascinating there are tons of pedophiles everywhere you look we all came up in comedy I got the citizen app the citizen app is overdoing it I think it's overdoing it you're really a pedophile three blocks from your house this guy's five dollars to find out who This guy's a flesher, that guy's a liquor. It's too much. It's not, that can't be. It can't be like, I'm like, there aren't even that many people in my neighborhood. But your locally sourced farm-to-table pedophile is like, technically, a lot of times it's family friends, it's people connected into the family when it's that level. But now we're also seeing there's another type of pedophile that conspiracy theories have talked about for a long time. But now we actually it actually makes more sense of like to be a pedophile. You would need a network. There is. It's very difficult to operate alone to to disseminate material and make material. OK, so there's an entrepreneurial pedophile thing, which I the conspiracy theories always like freak me out. Like if you're going down a rabbit hole enough and you're like the Jews did 9-11, you got to pull back like you're down too far. It's like. No, everybody benefited from 9-11. Hey, listen, we all like 9-11. I'm sure your fans are going to be like Oh no, they don't understand They know that the Jewish people were warned and they all left the towers before the planes hit We know That goes right on the Netflix But like Epstein could have he could have just been your run of the mill pedophile but it's like all the people who enabled him on every level like the New York Times did a really good piece about all the doctors that helped him when he had like an orgy to females. I say female because I, it's so funny. The only other person who says females, cannibal cop callback, he'd be like the female from, but it's like, but I don't know if they're of age, so I don't want to call them women. And I don't know if they're girls. I default to child. You default to child? I just default to their kids, or they're at least 16. But there is like that whole thing of like journalistic responsibility. You know what I mean? No, I know. You're much more responsible, Jen. But I'm trying to, Because it's so easy to misstep and I'm sure I will misstep. So I'm trying to like be as responsible as I can. So if they were of age, they were of age. But either way, I think that Bruce Moskowitz, I think the doctor from Palm Beach, there's like an email where he tells Epstein, you know, have them get their test at a public health clinic so that I don't have to report them when I report you because he tested positive for gonorrhea and you have to report as a doctor. I don't want their name showing up with your name. And it's like that level of complicity and assistance. Well, just the looking out for Jeff. All of these people looking out for Jeff, which means Jeff was cool. People loved him. Nobody loves Trump. Nobody. Right? We were even joking about this. We're like, Epstein has so much support and friendship. He had such a social capital. And yes, he had regular capital. And you could see how he's paying for gifts for everybody from Kathy Rumler to, you know, everyone else. He's just giving them money. He's giving them money. Peggy Siegel was just his friend. Dude, Peggy Siegel. His relationships were his currency. Yeah, but he sustained them. That Peggy Siegel stuff is fascinating. Tell me about it, would you? That is a whole, she's a PR agent and works a lot in the Broadway world. Did she ever invite you to stuff? No, no. I was so in like 2017 and 18 before the connection. I think the connection between her that I saw was like around the pandemic because I remember seeing that and being so bummed because somehow I got on Peggy Siegel's list and I would just get invited to stuff like the Veep premiere, Lady Bird, just randomly. And I'm like, what is this? Like, why does she think I'm someone else? Maybe. I mean, but she was the one that said, well, she told Epstein, number one, that like, you know, Timothy Shamelama Ding Dong had to give up his payment for the Woody Allen movie. She was oversharing with him and all these emails. I mean, I haven't done the deep dive on her yet, but like the way that she talked to him, it was like an oversharing publicist. She's doing this all in email, but she's really like gossiping, gossiping like crazy and then forwarding him like the allegiance that people had to him. So many people would like forward something to him like that. They didn't even have to like they'd have a Michael Wolfe. Oh, my God. That fucker. I do not like that man. Forwarding stuff to Epstein that you don't even have to. Epstein's not going to know. It's like he had this power over everyone and it must have been money, but it must have been something else like he could really. Well, he also loved The Lion King. Jeffrey Epstein saw The Lion King. Well, it's a great film. Approximately. No, the stage play. My toddler's so into that right now. Same. Same taste. Are you saying Julie Taymor? Is it? He was obsessed with Julie Taymor's The Lion King. He saw it at least a dozen times and it was one of the things that he would do to impress girls where he'd be like Take a new children's party. And then like serendipity for like... Yeah, for the gold leaf ice cream. and then he obviously then you have to spend time writing quotes from Lolita on their legs that takes time you know that you know that Jenna you've worked with some of the greats so he went to you're saying he went to the Lion King constantly yeah you know I mean he's better than Mary Poppins you know what I want to say you know what he said about Trump too right he said Trump was like one of the worst people he's ever oh he's scared of Trump He was very scared of Trump. Well, he killed him, so it helps. I legitimately think what we're seeing is that, I mean, you know, I'm not going to be careful about it, but I know that they deleted that last, the 50-page deposition. Right, right. 53 pages. Yeah, about Trump's actual physical actions. Also, people need to know, I didn't mean to cut you off, but people need to know that Trump is not emailing in the files because Trump doesn't email and didn't email. And he had a falling out with Epstein in around 2000. and whenever I'm not exactly sure, but it was before the emails. The emails are from like, you know, 29 to like a little onward, like a decade on to like 2019 or 20 something around then. Yes. But Trump's falling out with Epstein was before that and he didn't email. So as much as he is in the files, he's not as it's not as indictable because he didn't actually send emails to Epstein himself. He specifically doesn't write things down. Right. Which is obviously the behavior of an innocent president. Right. It's mafia shit. Because most presidents want you to remember every word they say. They have libraries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They write them all down. And there's guys, there's jobs to track everything that you say. In Bill Clinton's deposition, he said he only, I listened to that as much as I could. You know, I do have a toddler and other work that actually pays me that I have to do. So I'm trying. Why are you laughing? Yeah, you do have to not just listen to Bill Clinton talk for hours. My poor toddler is just like, Mom, I need love. The toddler's going, I feel your pain. I'm like I don't want him to become one of these guys so I really do have to give him love but now I'm blaming moms for their son so forget that cut cut cut okay we know moms are to blame I'm sorry Jen is finally saying some really good stuff on the show it's just so nice to have some real uncut talk what was his mother like you were talking about Clinton oh yeah Clinton has only sent two emails according to his deposition One was to John Glenn when he landed on the moon and the other was to soldiers in Kosovo. And I was like, what? And because we don't really have like an active like media ecosystem, I'm like reporting on this. So why am I'm obsessed with this? It's like I'm it's also just like it's it's a way to look at the news. It's a lens through which to look at the news. I've been wanting to talk about politics for a while. I had my mom die three years ago and I had a kid and it's just been like a kind of heady time for me. So it's like this feels like a way to talk about the news that's like niche, but also everything. So it's like we can, you know, on the podcast, it's like we do the updates just related to Epstein. Like we entered into a war with Iran. Well, how do you connect that to Epstein? Thomas Massey thinks it's a distraction from the files. We're not going to debate whether or not what Epstein's motive. Trump. we're not gonna debate what trump's trump's motivations were because it doesn't matter what i mean judging from the past something that that serves him probably but it doesn't matter what his motivations are it's not going to stop us from doing this thing i don't think the the iranian invasion is going to do what he wants it to i think that a lot of people are already i mean like It was a big deal, and it is a big deal, but I don't believe it's going to distract people from this files. It's not for the files. It's for the election. It's a different... It's another game. He's trying to keep everyone in office so we don't have to have an election during war. Right, because war. Weren't we in war for like 20 years and had elections? Well, Republicans do this. This isn't like they start wars. Yeah, he's bombed eight countries. God. So I wish I need an army. I wanted to ask you a question because there's a lot of things about this. Henry's more of an expert. I'm more of a I need to know things and people need to tell me. What is Melania's real connection to Epstein? Very good question. From what I understand, she was one of the models. I'll say that nicely. Yeah, a model. Well, there was a whole apparatus of models that they brought over. and they brought over a lot for like nefarious purposes where you think you're coming here for modeling opportunities and then you're trafficked. So from what I've seen, she was one of Epstein's girls. I don't know what that means. And then ended up like, I think there's an email of like the first time she hooked up with Trump on the plane. I remember that because that was the term he came out and he said, what a great piece of ass. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, we know that she modeled. Yeah. But it was like through I believe it was through Epstein. So was she? Yeah. I mean, like. I don't know. I don't know anything else. I don't the whole intelligence stuff like is above my like I just I it's very hard to corroborate that. The whole point of like saying someone works for some intelligence agency is like there's no way any of us can corroborate it. Yeah. And they do. They specifically choose sketchy people a lot of times, too. So they can dump them. They can scrape them off. Yeah. And the allegation of Epstein working for like any intelligence, I do believe, you know, like Hillary in her deposition was like, I was targeted by Russia, Russian intelligence. Epstein, from again, my understanding is that he didn't need to work for one intelligence agency. He had them. I mean, I don't it seemed like he might have, you know, the way that he carried favor with everyone. Maybe he did that with intelligence, but I don't think he worked for like one agency. I don't know that that is like hard for me to say because I'm I just don't I haven't seen anything and also I listened to the interview with Julie K. Brown and David Remnick and I'm just parroting what she said and she's one of the people who's been reporting on this very extensively for a very long time now was Trump bankrupt in the 80s and then given money by Russian potentially mobsters no well I mean Trump Tower and the thing about Trump and I remember like hoping that the tax returns would come out and I do believe there was an Epstein email where He's like, everything's in Trump's taxes, like all of Trump never releases tax returns because it shows that. And then like the Trump connection with Deutsche Bank, the two people who like the bankers at Deutsche Bank who like died or killed them. There's so much sketchy shit around Trump. I just I can't believe that he even was able to run in 2016 with all the dirt on him. That was already public record. Well, that was the first thing that busted an idea about, you know, massive conspiracy theories in my mind, because I was like in 2016. I was like, there's no way the capital S system was going to let Trump win. Now Hillary Clinton was supposed to win right Like that was all If the system really rigs it Yeah they asked bernie for a reason yes hillary clinton would have won but so obviously there is something to voting that is in there that they can somehow like the tv man won that's how he won is that he was in he was literally ubiquitous with pop culture for about 40 years and then we kind of maybe uh we seem to have uneducated ourselves to a point as a society where we were just like tv man's fun i want tv man to be president man. Yeah, there was also, I mean, there was mainstream reporting that came out, so don't shoot the messenger, about like Kremlin backed money supporting Bernie's campaign. Just dividing the left. Just to divide the left. Oh, he probably didn't even know where that money came from. Do you think that maybe... It's only $33, so it's fine. It went towards his suit. I'm both again asking, the Russian intelligence, the son of some more money. I like Boris's suit. What am I supposed to do? I wonder. if we're actually in a better spot because obviously we aren't Russia or China yet, right? Our media, in many ways, is a really hard genie to get back in the bottle. Our independent way of talking out to the internet and do is actually extremely difficult to clamp down now. So we have more information than ever, which is part of the reason why I think the current con with the Iranian invasion and all these guys coming out and talking and literally not even giving us a reason why and just kind of blowing it all through. I think that the hypocrisy itself is finally starting to sort of come to the surface because there's just there's too much information accessible for us to not see that you're wrong and you're lying. OK, so I think a couple of things. I think our media ecosystem is very broken and potentially beyond repair. And I think part of that has to do with the fact that it's so fragmented when you have people like Joe Rogan and Andrew Schultz forming public opinion. It's really, really scary. But it seems like the problem then is the problem, not the public that they're forming around them. Well, we're not we're not an educated population. We don't have media literacy, which is huge. And, you know, like, I want to agree with you that, like, people can have access to information, but there's information overload. There are unreliable messengers. And then, like, with what happened on Twitter. It's like our platforms can just be taken away in a heartbeat. So there's the local news apparatus is going away, but that's really like people digging in their communities, having trusted sources and like working together. I mean, all that's kind of going away. Like the cable news, the local news, local cable news, but the local news being gutted is really bad for democracy. And so, yeah, people might have access to information. You know, it could be information overload where then they just tune out because there's just too much misinformation and it's really hard to sift through and again that's partly why i started the podcast because i'm like going into the files i'm like i'm going crazy and then i go on twitter and i'd see some ai shit and i would fall for it and i'd be like i feel like this for someone who is like emotionally vulnerable like this could trigger psychosis yeah people and then you know and then i just had to step back and bring on a journalist and be like okay like let's just focus on like what are the indictable claims like what what are the invested what can we investigate what who can we put pressure on to unredact things get the actual information out there investigate the claims and then prosecute the people who are criminals hold them accountable now when it comes to trump doesn't he not have full immunity because of what got passed right before he became president well yeah he's it well i think it's supposed to be immunity for acts considered under the guise of the presidency. Okay. Alright, so he doesn't have just full presidential immunity, like all presidents you can't arrest anymore. Right, right, you can't indict a sitting president. But also, I mean, good luck. Seriously. But I don't think it's, I mean, when I say that this is going to take Trump down, I think if it's going to take him down, it's going to be by like, you know, flipping like the House and the Senate in the midterms. And then if that doesn't happen, I don't, I just don't, I don't know. I mean. I think it's, um, I think it's going to die. Yeah. Yeah, time. I forgot about time. I forgot about father time. Father time. Father time. I think that father time is the really only thing that can really come into play here. And I think that thankfully, because normally bastards live forever. Like my fucking piece of shit cunt grandmother lived till she was 95 years old. She just hung on. I heard Cheney's back alive. Yeah, I think. Cheney's alive. But I think that, yeah, normally people with no souls live for a long time. But I do also think that he's just so unhealthy that there's only so much evil that can keep him alive. We'll see. His father lived to, what, 95 or something? But at least by then, he really was just tapioca with pubic hair. I mean, but he can, Trump can, that's great. That's a great visual. Sable as a beautiful Siberian horse. But I also think worse than Trump are J.D. Vance and Teal, and they're kind of running the ship. Teal's the most terrifying person in this country. He's terrifying. Nothing will. And the only thing that cartons me is that none of them were a television producer, though. J.D. Vance is going to get torn to pieces. Well, that's where I think the files come back in. You know what I mean? That's where it's like when Trump is out of the picture, like no one else who doesn't have Trump's appeal can justify any of this shit. It's going to be difficult. And that's why we need The Rock. That's right. And I hope that Dwayne Johnson can take up the torch and be the next unbelievably crooked president. I have one final question for you, Jenna. October 14th in Florida is now Charlie Kirk Remembrance Day. How will you be celebrating? Oh, my God. Are you trying to get me death threats? Okay, wait. We did it all this episode. Yay! Who is Charlie Kirk? Thank you. because if I were like a professional media troll I was just like who are you talking about? I missed the news that day. I'll answer your question with another question. What is a woman? I mean I live in California it's like whatever you want it to be. I mean whatever. Wow. That's incredible. You're so lucky. Thank you so much Jenna for coming by. Jenna Friedman. Listen to the Epstein Files Book Club. It's available wherever you listen to podcasts with Elise Hu. Jenna Friedman on Instagram and of course Motherfucker go see Motherfucker it's going to be in LA on April 8th and Austin on April 10th thank you yeah thank you so much thank you Jenna well how about that huh 40 minutes of pure Epstein I can talk about it for longer I could keep going I need that like basic baseline info that we just got that's very important for me i feel like i like advanced past like we did i just like i'm just i'm just reading his emails and like i'm pretending i'm him but also funnily enough she brought up the whole dental angle yes and i think that that is going to be a massive part of this story with karina shuliak connecting all of these because like i was just read it searching another thing that they were talking about another massive pedophile that would use dental care as a way to get in and this makes a lot of sense for young women like it's like i remember like i remember when i met natalie she was suffering from horrific dental problems yeah and that was like one of those things where it was really hard for her and was like fucking expensive and everything's out of pocket if you don't have the insurance and so i think that he would find beautiful women i think he would find beautiful women dental hygienists yes but i think he would use it on beautiful women i would say i'm gonna make your teeth good so you can be a model i was gonna say because dental hygienists are notoriously very attractive yeah yeah i actually you know i yeah right sometimes i think so i actually find i mean my dental the two hygienists I work with are more so like kind of older. Yeah. So older women. Well, you know, tenure. Well, yay. You're like a seasoned woman. Alright, let's get into one listener email. I love listener emails. Do we have a stinger? Sorry I threw that on you, Rob. Good work. I got this one that we really liked. You know, the... Let's do it again. Let's do it again. Are you ready, Eddie? Yes. Are you horny, Henry? Yes. Sure. Now it's time for Listener E-Mails. We got one of these. We got actually a bunch of these on this subject about the 11-year-old being tried as an adult. Okay. There's some people that have... I definitely saw some people were like, oh, he should have treatment and not jail. I understand. Yes. But I also got several emails that I thought were interesting that were basically being like, 11-year-olds are dangerous. So are you going to read the ones that make you sound right or the ones that make me sound right? That's the best part. So I can do anything I want. But no, this is interesting. It's because really it was just more about juveniles tried as an adult. Yeah. I do found, it really depends on where you're at. In Florida, I remember when my buddy was murdered by another young man. that guy was tried as an adult, but he tied him to a tree and shot him in the head. And so that was... The government? No. Oh. Oh, great. I don't need him coming to find me again. Yeah, come on. Let's get it. I think he's out now. Oh, good. Oh, let's have him on the show. So, just wanted to let you know about the case of Clayton Dietz, the 11-year-old who confessed to killing his father, can be transferred to juvenile court. It's currently an adult court because in the state of Pennsylvania, all murder charges regardless of the age of the offender, start an adult court. Most states have a minimum statutory age in which a person can be tried as an adult. And the youngest age any state has written into law is 12. Okay. Pennsylvania is the only state that automatically sends all homicides to adult court. And if somebody under the age of 15 is convicted as an adult, the maximum sentence allowable as life with the possibility of parole after 25 years. So essentially, this is an example. In 2009, an 11-year-old Pennsylvania boy was initially charged as an adult with killing his dad's fiance. But that was when he, then he was sent to juvenile court where he was found delinquent and sent to a juvenile facility where he has to stay until the age of 21. So this is one of those, it goes back and forth. He will be essentially tried as an adult, and then he could be sentenced as an adult. But they essentially what they'll do is no matter what, he will be put in a youth wing or in a very high, high security juvenile center until he's like 18. Then he goes. When you said 21. That's one case. That was a previous case. But he probably will go to like 18, then go to jail up until the 25 year marker hits. And then he can go up for parole. Yeah. So at earliest, he's getting out of 36. Yes. If he gets it, if they throw the book at him. Man, no fucking chance at a decent life. No. Damn. No. But hey, you know, the problem is, is that he, I do, I've come around a little bit more about the idea that obviously kids don't know what they're doing. I know kids don't know. adults don't know what they're doing. You don't have a fucking solid brain until you're 25 years old. I completely understand that. It's just, what do you do? And several emails also said about the idea that kids are kind of intense right now. Very much so. Very much. You know what the crazy part about this is? Is if he missed, almost nothing would happen. Yeah. If he missed, we probably wouldn't even know about it. If the dad would have just taken the gun from him and fucking putting it back in the suitcase slapped him around a little bit. Is that what you do? I feel like that. I think if a kid fires a gun at you, you're allowed to hit him. You hit him? I think at that one time. Wow, I'm going to love to get this email. I can't wait for these emails. Sign stories, L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com. When's it okay to hit a child? When they fire a gun at you. Actually, you know what? My dad hit me exactly once, and it was when I pulled the steering wheel out of his hand, and I still think he's right. Yeah, you know, it's one of those. We were driving. and I pulled the steering wheel. We almost crashed. He hit me. I never pulled the steering wheel out of anyone else's hand the rest of my life. I have no intentions of doing that even to the rudest Uber drivers. I was watching something last night. What was I watching? It was like kids attacking somebody and I was doing that. Being like, no, no, this would have happened if someone gave one of the children a whoop. That's what they need to do is give his child a whoop. I know. No, no. Obviously, don't hit kids. I did a whole fucking thing about it. My thing is if he shot at you and he missed, Yeah, I guess you do have to beat him within an inch of his life, only just because you can't come for the king and miss. That's the thing. Never try to kill your father and not get it. That's exactly right. You better kill me, son. Remember. Or do you tell him that? Or do you take the gun and play Russian roulette with the son, right? And you tell him you're playing Russian roulette, but you lie to him, right? Yeah. And you set it all up, and then you get him ready, and you make him pull it a couple of times. And then until you're certain that it would be one bullet left, right? And he's crying and shit, and he's crying and stuff. and then you take the gun under his hand and say, this is why you don't fuck with your father. There you go. See? And you didn't hit him. You didn't hit him once. You should be a dad. You know how many people tell Henry and I that we should be dads? We have these type of conversations all the time. We have made the right decision to not be fathers. Stop trying to convince Henry and I to be fathers. Also, this is us as single fathers. You have to remember, this is us with no feedback. Also, yeah. I mean, yeah. So I, but I do find it crazy that if he missed, he still would have the same intention. What? He'd get a stern talking to for me. I know, but I'm just saying his whole life is destroyed because he's a good shot. Yeah. That is the main issue. Could have been John Wick. Yes. Yeah, it's the main issue. No, he did it point blank. He wasn't a good shot. Yeah. Well, I fucking still hope for the best for this little fucker. I'm afraid of him. But I was still- Definitely afraid of him. Don't want him in the room. but I do want someone who cares to take care of him. He's just very obviously an 11 year old boy. And he probably should. There's got to be something else going on there. I still don't think anything necessarily happened to the father. I don't think the father did anything. I did get also an interesting email from somebody that fosters kids. I think his prison nickname should be Scary Potter. Cute! That's fun! You hear that prison? Yeah, call him Scary Potter! That's for free. Call him Scary Potter. Tell him Eddie's at you. Enjoy. But also, someone said in the foster system that you can also see the kid was adopted. There are kids that are, it is, they have known nothing but betrayal from adults. You know, there is that. If you've been adopted, you've been betrayed by somebody. And now you've been refound and you're loved, but you had to deal with somebody saying, I don't want you anymore. And I think that that is hard. It is hard. And the foster system, you know, it's a very, like, thankless place where a lot of people take advantage of everything. And then even the fucking band sucks. Oh, yeah. Foster the people. Tell me. Garbage. Also, I'm not fostering people. Yeah. No, foster the children. Foster the dogs. Even a cat, if you have to. Wow. Not people. Assholes. Well, this has been a great episode. Last comic book on the left is a new thing out, right? Go check that out. Go and get Last Comic Book on the left. We are on a server at Z2 Comics. It has nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with him. It has nothing to do with me. But I forgot how good this shit is. Go pre-order it right now. Can you tease what's in it at all? What story is it reading about? The incredible conclusion to my story on Detective Popcorn that we did with the incredible writer, Elliot Rojas. How long has the cliffhanger been? Dude, you'll see. Like, you know what I'm saying? When did the last thing come out? It's got to be like four years. Yeah. Long time. This is like since before my tenure. Yeah, bro. So people have been waiting for this shit. Yeah. So you go out there and you're going to get this. This is the conclusion to the whole thing. Last comic book on the left. Four. Is it available in stores or do they have to go to some weird cryptic website where they can only watch like three guys, one hammer? You got to go to Z2Comics.com. Just Google it. Check it out. You'll get it. Last comic book on the left. Volume four. Z2Comics.com. Also, we got a really fun thing happening in two weeks. This is extremely limited. So if you want to be a part of this, jump on top. Tickets are on sale. On March 25th, Henry and I are leading two tours through the Mystic Museum. It's going to be fun. Out here in Burbank. We're literally, it's going to be, you can get tickets at themysticmuseum.com, themysticmuseum.com for tickets. Get them there. We're leading two tours at 6.30 and 7.30. It's like 15 people each tour. Dude, it's going to be fun. It's very hard to get these tickets. If you want to come see this, it's going to be really stupid. We take you through a bunch of horror movies, and we're going to make fun of it. It's going to be a blast. We're going to have Eric from the Mission Museum is going to be walking around with us. So whenever we say something incorrect, you'll correct us. It's going to have – so we're going to have a lot of fun. Come and check it out. It's going to be very chaotic. Get very high. Maybe eat some mushrooms. There's some scary shit in there. You'll be scared. There's lots of bloody scenes from horror movies. It's very silly. We're going to have a blast doing this. That's going to be in Burbank at the Mystic Museum, March 25th at 6.30 and 7.30. Get your tickets at themysticmuseum.com. And also, the week after that, on Good Friday, you can check out Amber and I at the Lyric Hyperion. That's going to be on April 3rd at 7 p.m. Go and get tickets there. Also, Crime Wave at Sea is happening. Dude, come out to Crime Wave at Sea 2.0. We are going to have so much fucking fun. You can pay for it over the year. come and join us on the high seas. Last year we did it. It was a fucking blast. It was insane. I think we got a lot of repeat customers so it's going to be, we're definitely going to be switching up our show. It's not going to be the same thing we did last year. Oh yeah, we're doing an entirely different thing. We're going to have so much fun. CrimeWaveAtSea.com slash last. That's right, baby. Go get that shit in Indian Urbana. We'll see you this weekend. I can't wait to fucking eat your sausage and party and poop up all your bathrooms. It's going to be a blast. oh and I want to give a nice shout out we have a new employee here at Side Stories Pat Barker joining us, helping us with research and some humor, thank you buddy for coming on board, I'm very excited to see what would happen. As you can see we're already better aren't we? Yes we're already better, I think we did nothing that he gave us. Nothing. That's great, it's a good investment. That's life We're going to life, we'll be back I still love him, we'll be back in there Don't you worry You live every day knowing for a fact that Side Stories comes every week no matter what you do, right? You're going to laugh at us. You're going to laugh at us because we're the funniest thing on Netflix since Come and See. And you're just going to just love giving it up to Jennifer Edmond. Oh, man. I love you guys. Bye, everybody. Be good to yourself. Hail Tommy Takara, the great voice of Boston the band. He died. That first album rocks. It's all hits. It feels like the first time. Dude, I love that fucking song. It's a musical journey through sex. It feels like the first time. Tommy DiCarlo, adios. You had a beautiful high-pitched voice. I hope you finally lose your virginity in heaven.