We make Ken Jennings relive the worst moment of his life

On Consider This, NPR's afternoon news podcast, we cover everything from politics to the economy to the world. But every story starts with a question. And NPR, we stand for your right to be curious, to make sense of the biggest story of the day and what it means for you. Follow Consider This wherever you get your podcasts. This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me The NPR News Quiz. Can't afford the six dollar gas? This voice is pure diesel. I'm Bill Curtis and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater and the Fine Arts Building in Chicago. LaDonna Peter Segal. Thank you Bill. Thank you everybody. Thank you so much. We have a wonderful show for you today. Later on we're going to be talking to the host of Jeopardy and of course still the record holder for consecutive wins on that show, Ken Jennings. We assume he will easily win our quiz then next week be our guest again and will be for the next 74 episodes of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. You do not have to answer in the form of a question. For us, just give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant, Hyuron Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Veronica Brooks-Sweet from Raleigh, North Carolina. How are things down there in Raleigh? You know, pretty Raleigh-ish. Raleigh-ish? What do you do there? So I actually work for a national non-profit. I'm the senior vice president of research and policy. Oh, that's cool. So that's a thoughtful intellectual job. That was a thoughtful intellectual noise. Well, Veronica, welcome to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, you can see her co-hosting her show, Frankenbaby, at Union Hall in Brooklyn on May 18th. It's Joelle Nicole Johnson. Hello, Veronica. Max, he's a humorist and the founder of Hatch Space Community, Woodworking, Shoe, now taking applications for their fall furniture, making intensive in Brattleboro, Vermont. It's Tom Baudette. Hello, Veronica. And finally, a contributor to CBS Sunday Morning, it's Faith Saley. Hey, Veronica. So Veronica, welcome to the show. You, of course, are going to play who's bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? This is a dream come true. So, yes. Well, that's exciting. All right. Here is your first quote. It's a text. Someone sent his fiance as he headed into quarantine after finally getting off his cruise ship. I've never been so excited to go to Nebraska. That was one of the cruise ship passengers now quarantining in Nebraska after being exposed to what? Oh, is that the antivirus? Yeah, antivirus. Yes. That passenger, by the way, who was exposed was given the option of going home to Boston where his fiance, who he was texting, lives to isolate there, but instead chose to isolate for 43 days in Nebraska. If anyone here present knows any reason why these two shall not be married. I smell a shipboard romance. This outbreak of this virus happened on not one of those big carnival cruise type ships, but on a luxury adventure cruise was costs about $12,000 a ticket. But you'll be glad to know this. The cruise company that operates it have heavily discounted all future cruises this year. That's true. It's the experience of the end of a lifetime. Well, I mean, it's in keeping, these are adventurous people. They've got a lot of money, but they also really wanted to do something off the map. And you come home with a really exotic disease. That's like old school. If you didn't come back from the tropics with malaria, you weren't there, right? Yeah, I mean, you pay a premium price, you get a premium disease. This is true. One passenger on the cruise disembarked before showing symptoms on this tiny island in the South Atlantic. So authorities, it's really true, had to parachute in medical supplies and doctors to care for him. And my question is, did the doctors know how exactly they were getting there, right? This was physician, you told to do this thing. You're like, hey guys, when do we land? And why are you opening the door? Your next quote is from President Trump. I told people who've done swimming pools for me in the past, do me a favor, please. Trump was talking about his renovations of what Washington, DC landmark. Is it the reflecting pool? It is the reflecting pool. Very good. President Trump said he decided to paint the reflecting pool on the National Mall blue and he says it's because the pools at all his properties are blue. Okay, that's fine, but the big water slide in the swim up bar a bit much. I think it's the irony that he's messing with the reflecting pool is this is a man who is incapable of reflection. Well, I mean, I mean, you had to give him credit. There's no denying that the reflecting pool just wasn't working every time Trump looked into it. He's on old man who had just crapped his pants. I've been relating to some of this. I've had a pool at our house since the boys were little and they're grown and gone and I'm taking it out this year. Really? So I've been out there. I'm trying to dismantling things and I'm enjoying it because I've been taking care of that freaking pool for like 15 years. And just like Trump's frustration, you know, they leak and it, you know, it'll like you go out there in the morning all of a sudden, oh, it's green. What? And so I knew a guy. Yeah, I love that. That's a very unrelatable rant, Tom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What trial? Are you saying you've never gone out to gaze upon your property and decided to make major changes? That pool out. Yeah. Is that is that way? Have that. Have that removed. I'm going to take some of these extra houses down. What's going on? I'm not used to being bougie and I really was just then, wasn't I? You really were. I like it. Gosh, I made it. This is a new town. You're not, you're not leaving the light on anymore. No. I'm going to stay at Haldi. Yeah. All right. Here is your last quote. It's from a commenter on the New York Times website. I do it every day. I'm not interested in watching it on TV. That person was responding to news that what New York Times game is being made into a primetime NBC game show? Oh, I know this because I am probably going to apply. It's Wirtle. It is Wirtle. Well, this is very exciting. Have you ever had a coworker talk to you about his Wirtle score until your eyes glaze over? Well, that's a TV show now. I don't know if this is going to work. I enjoy playing Wirtle. Fine. The only time I want to watch someone else play Wirtle is when the dumbest guy in the plane is doing it in front of me. How is your first guess goose? You know, this is just the feel-good show we need in 2022. Yes, exactly. This is like what? Who talks about Wirtle anymore? You're right. Between the new pandemic and Wirtle, it has been a huge week for things I was already tired of five years ago. If they really want to capture the essence of Wirtle the way people play it, all the TV contestants should have to play while sitting on toilets. That's right. It's so true. God, this reminds me when I walked in on my son when he was a teenager and he was watching people play video games on his video game. Yes. That's a thing that people do. Right. And so what are you doing? He says, I'm watching these guys play this game. It's amazing. I said, I was upset because you played too much video game and now you're just watching other people play video games. Yeah, no, you learn a lot. Yeah. My boyfriend does that. He watches his friends play video games and that's how I know he'll never cheat on me. Bill, how did Veronica do in our quiz? Her word is perfect. A few extra letters there. I know. Yeah, three and oh. 75% of you just said, wouldn't work seven letter word. Congratulations Veronica. Thank you so much for playing. Thank you for having me. Terrific. Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about the game. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tom, this week, a court in Australia dismissed the claim of a supermarket employee who said his employers had no right to tell him to cover up what. Hmm. He had no right to tell him to cover up. That's pretty. I don't even need a hand. I don't even want to start guessing. In Australian civil rights law, people with sagging pants are not a protected class. Oh my God, they're butt crack. Exactly right. Hmm. He sued because he felt his employer should not be allowed to tell him to cover up his plumber's crack. He believed it was rude for the supermarket to tell him to do that, to cover up what in Australia is also known as the bum crack. This was the fifth time he had brought that claim only to be again dismissed. Man, the things some men will do to avoid buying a belt. No. Okay.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 Yeah. You're right. I mean, in a weird way. It's like, you should do that. Like with what society did with cleavage, you take it from being a point of shame to a sign of sexiness. Don't cover it up. Let's get some of those good looking plumbers into something with a plunging crackline. Mm-hmm. It's never a booty crack you want to see though. It's true. It really is. It's just never. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, Michael B. Jordan ain't never out here with his cleavage. Yeah. Coming up, grab your snorkel. We're headed to the beach in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-weightweighttoplay. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Wait. Don't tell me from NPR. From NPR, WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, Wait. Don't tell me the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Baudette, Joy L. Nicole Johnson, and Faith Salie. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagle. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-weightweighttoplayourgameontheair. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Lauren White, and I'm calling from Provo, Utah. Provo, Utah, one of the most beautiful places there is in this country. What do you do there? I'm currently a student for wildlife rehabilitation, and then I just door dash on the side. Okay, all right. And you say you do wildlife rehabilitation. Do you have a particular favorite kind of wildlife? Bat-eared fox. The bat-eared fox. I will say that you sound adorable. Yes. They are so adorable. I went to South Africa and worked with them. They are so cute. They're very cute. Basically, you sort of rank wildlife by cuteness like the rest of us do. Yes, of course. Okay. Glad to know that professionals are also just as shallow. Okay, great. Lauren, it's great to have you with us. You're gonna play our game in which you miss pride to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Lauren's topic? A day at the beach. Ah, the beach where every year millions of vacationers go to discover they can get sand and crevices in their body they did not know they had. This week an unusual beach story made the news. Our panelists are gonna tell you about it. Pick the one who's telling the truth. You'll win the weight-weighter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Yes. Okay, first up, let's hear from Joelle Nicole Johnson. A lot of couples dream of their wedding day. Those with a penchant for summer and vision exchange nuptials on the beach with the sun shining, waves crashing, and the songs of Segal Squawkin. Marissa Bramwell and her fiance, Javal Coleman, were getting married on Woodbury Island in Washington state when they were interrupted by the least romantic sound ever. The deep, grotesque screeching of a beach gray whale. Luckily for beached boy, the bride, groom, and half the wedding party were marine biologists. While dressed in gowns and tuxedos, they jumped into action. Marissa and her maid of honor kept the whale cool and wet while Javal and his best man climbed the top and protected the blowhole with his wife's veil. When the high tide finally came in, they were able to see the whale whom they lovingly named Jonah, float off into the sunset while they finished their nuptial soaking wedding covered in sand. Of the mishap-turned-heroic situation, Marissa said, the only thing that would have made this better is a harem of seals clapping as I kissed my groom. A beach wedding interrupted by a beached whale. Your next beach bit comes from Tom Baudette. Last Tuesday, fashion brand Commas held its Australian Fashion Week show on Sydney's Tomorama Beach. The brand is known for its, quote, effortless silhouettes and aesthetic blends of 1950s European beachwear with modern Australian seaside culture. What they hadn't quite counted on was modern Australian seaside culture, crashing their show in the form of a local man ambling onto the beach for his morning swim. The man's unabashed Stage 4 dad bod and relaxed arm whirling stood in stark contrast to the severe-looking models who strutted by displaying no excess movement or body hair for that matter. Australia's Today Show, which would be America's Tomorrow Show, interviewed the man identified as David, who has been taking his morning swim at Tomorama Beach for 30 years and saw no reason not to do it again on Tuesday. And speaking for the low spark of high cholesterol dads everywhere, this is awesome. The swimmer goes to the beach in Australia and ends up in the middle of a fashion show. Your last shory story comes from Faith Saley. When a dozen octogenarian French ladies gathered for their sunrise yoga class on a Normandy beach last week, they did not expect that striking a warrior pose would thrust them into battle. But just as they were starting sun salutations at 0600 hours, 75 allied soldiers landed on the shore. The D-Day Re-enactors Club had arrived from Ohio. Start out to see the little old ladies, one officer tackled a grandma to save her from an invisible mind planted by imaginary Nazis, yelling in his best high school French, excusez-moi, sir, l'applaudge! One infantryman decided to become a conscientious objector and fell into child's pose. Because this was a French beach, several of the aged ladies were topless, which came as a shock to the fresh-faced American GIs. Several troops stopped in their tracks until a sergeant yelled, move it boys, we've got the bigger bazookas! All right, one of these things... Unexpectedly occurred on a beach, was it from Jo-Yon-Nicolle Johnson, a beach wedding getting interrupted by a beached whale, who fortunately for him, or it, the wedding was of marine biologists, from Tom Baudet, a dad bod swimmer guy, walks down to the beach to go swimming and finds himself right in the middle of a fashion show runway, or from Faith Saley, a yoga class on the beach in Normandy, France, gets invaded by D-Day Re-enactors. Which of these was the real story of a surprising day at the beach? I think I'm going to go with Tom Stry, the David going on to the Fashion Week. You're going to go for the swimmer, an Australia who walked down and found himself standing amid all the models on the beach in Australia. Well, we have, to bring you the correct answer, the actual beachgoer. I have to say an apology to the fashion designer. When I looked at the cover of the stairs yesterday, I saw the model and I suddenly went, I'm the late model. That was David Handley talking to Australia today about his accidental modeling debut. Congratulations, Lauren, you got it right. You're in to point for Tom and you've won our prize, the voice of your choice on your voicemail. Thank you, Lauren. Thank you so much. And now the game where people who've done a lot do a little more. About 20 years ago, we were delighted to welcome to our show Ken Jennings, who had just set a record for winning on Jeopardy! That still stands today. Then a few years later, we were joined by Ken Jennings, best-selling author. Today, we are thrilled to welcome Ken Jennings, the host of Jeopardy! I wonder if these guys know each other. Ken Jennings, welcome back to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you for having all three of us back on here. It's a pleasure. So, as you know, Ken, as I may have mentioned bitterly a number of times when we've spoken, I myself was on Jeopardy! Many, many years ago. I did not do as well as you. But one of my memories was during lunch, I sat near Alex Trebek, the legendary host, and I heard him telling his producers, you know, nobody understands, this is the hardest job in show business. Now that you are in the host's chair or podium on Jeopardy! Do you agree? Well, of course, it always flatters the person in the job to point out how hard it is. Yes. But I will absolutely back up Alex here. I mean, during the... After he passed away, sadly, you know, during that guest hosting rotation, we had a lot of broadcasters who had done everything. We had people who had reported from war zones, and to a person, they all said, wow, this game moves really fast. And I don't mean to imply that a trivia quiz show is as important as being in a war zone, but there is a unique skill set, and Alex was amazing at it, and I don't have anywhere near his level of grace or riz, but I'm gonna try. Now, we heard that during that period, as you say, when many people were trying, they tried a lot of people as the host of Jeopardy! That they went through training to do it. Did you? Is there Jeopardy! host training? There is Jeopardy! boot camp. The Jeopardy! writers, the people who write the clues, impersonate Jeopardy! contestants. Just to put it through your paces. And at first, they impersonate well-behaved Jeopardy! contestants doing the things we collect. Sure. As your difficulty level grows, they impersonate increasingly unruly and disobedient Jeopardy! contestants, just as the host would do. Really? So can you give me some of the simulations? Just the little niceties of Jeopardy! start going unobserved, because a lot of these are related to rules. We're a serious game, Peter. I'm not saying that not my job is not a very serious segment, but you can't Jeopardy! seriously. Yeah, you know, well, we have, okay, fine. So you've been doing it for a while. Has anybody sworn audibly after screwing something up? I feel confident that Jeopardy! has violated the George Carlin rule on a few occasions. It just wasn't me. Yeah. I remember when I was on, I think I said all seven at once after one question. You obviously, because of your extraordinary success, as a contestant must have aspired to be a contestant for a while before you went on the show. Did you also ever want to be the host? No, but over the years, many people would ask me, hey, clearly if Alex were ever to retire, you'd be on the shortlist and I would just laugh at them. No, no, no, no, that would be a very outside the box, kind of a Willy Wonka way to run a game show. If you invited back the lucky little boy, one of the little kids. And gave him the factory. Nobody's gonna do that in TV. But it turns out Jeopardy! is kind of its own little institution and it runs by its own rules. Yeah, and there you are. And apparently if you are the champion, they make you the host. Everybody who watches Jeopardy! knows that after the first commercial break, when we come back, the host, now you, used to be Alex, comes over and talks to the panelists. Is that as difficult as it looks? It's hard for the contestants. I actually really enjoy it. That was always the part of the show that I thought was a little bit cringy, even as a kid. I would sometimes have to leave the room during a boring story. It's like Jeopardy! stops for a second and curb your enthusiasm begins. Yes. That's right. That's why the theme song changes just at that moment. Tuba, the tuba comes in. So I worked very hard on making that a little more engaging. And the fact is, Peter, I've gone my whole life trying to get out of conversations with you for 20 seconds. So, like, I was made for this. Famously, I believe this is famous, that when you did your amazing run of 74 shows after the first, I don't know, 20, you ran out of interesting things to say about yourself. You were a young man, you had only done so much, so that you just started making stuff up to talk about with Alex. Is that right? I ran out of ideas very early on. Like, if you see my fourth game, it's getting a little, the anecdotes are a little late. And, but what I found out is nobody fact checks these. You know what I'm saying? Really? Yeah. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. Have the Yorkers staff, Peter. Like, you shouldn't say you have a purple heart, but if you tell us you were a birthday clown, we are not going to link this. Right. Yeah. Yes. I was watching Celebrity Jeopardy, where I expected, because I know some celebrities, the question's to be a little easier. I was very impressed. The celebrities have gotten good. Do you think so? I feel like the celebrities don't get enough credit. I think generally people assume, I think because of the Will Ferrell sketches, people assume Celebrity Jeopardy is a cake walk where it's like states that rhyme with Schmallowair. Right. And, and as a result, I think they don't give the celebrities enough credit. Certainly we want them to play well. We know they're playing for charity. It's a big category. If it's showbiz, you can ask celebs harder questions perhaps than civilians. So it might depend on the category. Yeah. But if it's like working for a living for real, that, yeah. I'll take not having an assistant for this. Ken, is there any plans for like a dumb ass Jeopardy? No. Did I have a request? Yes. I was going to say, well, you know that show already airs and it's called and then I realized I would get in trouble. So I was like, okay. Oh my God. Well, Ken Jennings, it is always a pleasure to have you with us this time. We have asked you here to play a game we're calling. What is H&R Block? As some people may remember, your Jeopardy win streak ended with a question about H&R Block. We're going to ask you three questions about that tax preparation firm. By the way. I've listened to Not My Job so many times over the years. I'm going to wait. Is this the first time you're ever asking the guest about the single most traumatic thing that's ever happened? All right. If you answer two to three questions about H&R Block, you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is the legendary Ken Jennings playing for? Bobby Powers of the other Virginia. All right. Here's your first question, Ken. H&R Block was originally a bookkeeping business called the United Business Company founded by Henry Block and his brother. After his brother went back to law school, Henry took out a help wanted ad, which was answered by whom? A, the former head of the IRS under President Truman, who had just been fired by President Eisenhower. B, his mother, who told him he should hire his other brother. Or C, no one, so Henry just invented someone with the initial R so people would think the company wasn't just him. Wow. I'm going to guess B, his other brother? You're right. That's what happened. But he didn't do it. That's what happened. But he didn't phrase it as a question. He doesn't have to. He's off duty. All right. Here's your next question. H&R Block is obviously known for their tax work, but they have another surprising source of revenue. What is it? A, their majority owners of America's largest chain of Halloween haunted houses. B, they own the copyright for the GIF animated file format. Or C, they own the rights to the entire recorded music catalog of Parliament Funkadelic. I'm going to say, just because it delights me, the haunted house. The haunted house is. No, I'm afraid not, although it'd be another seasonal business. They own the copyright for GIFs because they bought CompuServe way back when patented the GIF. Here's your last question. In 2005, H&R Block got in trouble when it was revealed that for the past three years, they had made significant errors when filing whose taxes? A, seven of the nine Supreme Court justices. B, their own taxes. Or C, every player in the New York Yankees. I mean, I'm going to say their own B. You're right. They managed to screw up their own corporate tax return. And their excuse, but we used TurboTax, did not fly. Bill, how did the Quizmaster Ken Jennings do on our quiz? Like a champ, two out of three. Congratulations, Ken. Welcome. How does it, does it, I have to, I mean, okay, yes, we did this thing to you. We asked you about H&R Block. Does it feel good, do you finally conquer your demon that is H&R Block? After all these years, I'm finally back to 500. But you know, I think of them, every time I drive past a strip mall, you see that little green square. Now, Peter, I'm going to think of them every time I watch a GIF. So you've made my life even worse. I've been helping year round. Ken Jennings is the host of Jeopardy. He's also the author of the Complete Connections Puzzle Book, which has eaten up a lot of my week. It's available now. Ken Jennings, thank you so much for joining us again. I'm Blake Waco, I'm Tommy. Always a joy to see you. Take care. We'll see you on TV. Bye-bye. In just a minute, we reveal why NASA is stocking up on Febrize. That's in our listener, Limerick Challenge, called 1-888-Wait-Wait to Join Us in the Air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-Wait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR. From NPR, WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait-Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Joy L. Nicole Johnson, Faith Sealy, and Tom Baudette. And here are going to show host at the Student Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, after last week's disastrous experiment with the Listener Hand-to-Hand Combat Challenge, we return to doing Limericks. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, I'll handle some more questions for you from the week's news. Joy L, this week we heard some new dating advice. You should always wait to the third date to do what? And no, it's not that. Oh, I wouldn't even think about that for once. You should wait till the third date to tell your date that you like cruise ships. No, not that. To tell your date who you voted for? No. To tell your date you are anti-vax? No. Those are all good. I was about to say, any one of those answers to those questions, you could predict the other two. Give me a hint, Peter. I'll give you a hint. So you're like there, you're like you're in your third date, you're like, hey, it looks like this might be getting serious. So it's time to talk about protecting my assets. Oh, prenup? Yes. You should wait till the third date to talk about getting a prenup. The third date? The third date. According to one prominent divorce lawyer, naturally, the third date is the perfect time to bring up a prenup. It's a way to say, hey, I really see a future with you and also an end to that future. And also, I'm rich. Yes, I'm rich. If you don't have anything to protect, why are you bringing it up? Absolutely. I guess it's kind of a weird humble bragging away. Yeah, not even humble. What rich man am I dating? Tom Bo death? I think I've made a huge strategic error in this show. And I was hoping we could start over. The reasoning is that talking about a prenup on the third date is the perfect way to quote, depersonalize it by bringing it up early, right? That's crazy. That's not what the third date is for. The third date is supposed to be for flirting and making sure you know each other's last names. It's also the date where you can maybe let them hear, like, you don't have to run the water when you go to the bathroom in their apartment. You pooping on a third date? No, not pooping, peeing. You don't know. Excuse me, I am not the type of lady who poops on a third date. We're a long way from prenup. Faith, this week, the New York Times reported customers are getting fed up with restaurants that just won't stop doing what? Oh, QR codes with their menus? Although that is annoying, I agree, but not that. The audience is with you there. Can you give me a hint? Sure, it's like, I texted stop like you asked. Why don't you stop? The confirmation text. Yes, they won't stop texting you all the time. It used to be just one text to confirm your reservation. Now they just keep texting you. Then they're like, you up? Yeah, pretty much. All I wanted was a table for two for dinner, and instead of me getting more texts than my close male friends have sent me in their whole lives. And then you go in there and sit down and it's every five seconds. It's just like, how's your first few bites tasting? It's just like, can I get you anything else? I just want to talk to my wife. Sorry, you triggered me. I appreciate that. I went out to eat once with a celebrity chef and the whole restaurant, they were acting crazy. Yes, that'll happen. And they kept being like, is everything okay? And then the second person came and was everything okay? And she was like, actually the lamb is dry, but she just told us that. And she was like, if they come back, I'm going to tell them the lamb is dry. And the manager comes and goes like, is everything okay? And she said the lamb is dry. And I saw a grown man's heartbreak in front of my face. Wow. And I think about that often with a smile. They asked if they didn't want the honest answer. They did. Oh my God. Yeah, the only good kind of text from restaurants is when they let you put your name on the waiting list and you can go get a drink somewhere until your table's ready. Though I did think it was weird when they texted, hey, your table isn't ready. You just wanted to see what you're up to. Send pics. Coming up, it's lightning filling the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago with more shows on the road announced soon. Tickets and information about all our live events are at npr.org. Hi, Aaron. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, this is Tricia calling from 29 Palms, California. 29 Palms? It's out there in the desert, right? I've never been there, but I've heard it's beautiful. It is. It's very beautiful, but if you want to do anything fun, you have to drive at least half an hour. But don't they have around 30 Palms to look at? At least that many. At least that many. One would hope, one would hope. Well, welcome to the show, Tricia. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last-word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last-word or phrase correctly, and two of the limericks will be a winner. You ready to play? I was born ready. There you go. That's the kind of attitude you want. Here's your first limerick. This planet is molten and bleak. We sniff and emit a quick shriek. It has sulfurous gas that is trapped and won't pass. Like rotten eggs. Boy, does it. Stink. Stink is the right idea, but it doesn't rhyme with bleak or shriek. Reek. Yes, reek. That's right. Reek. Good news. Good news. Astronomers have discovered a whole new type of planet never seen before. The bad news, it stinks bad. So we have watery planets like Earth. We have Jupiter, a gas giant. The planet L985090 is something never seen before by scientists. It's a past gas giant. It's covered in an ocean of molten magma. Scientists say the ocean cannot support life, but think about it. If it did have sharks, they would be so cool. The ocean is full of sulfur, meaning that the planet is just an enormous rotten egg laid by a galactic chicken. I feel bad though for the other planets in that solar system. They're always like, ah, could you crack open a black hole or something? If you believe in a God, in an original creator, then that creator dealt it. True. That's true. God's whoopee cushion right out there. Here is your next limerick. I should sit and crack jokes in a punning pub, because screaming and sprinting is a stunning snub. Drenched in sweat, out of breath, that's a tragic love death. Don't start asking for dates in your running club. Running club indeed. Very good. How did you get that? So for years now, lonely people have been urged to meet friends and romantic partners by joining running clubs. As everybody knows, they provide the wild sexual dynamics of an improv troupe, but with more chafing. But now an essayist in Time Magazine is asking everyone, stop dating people in your running club. Apparently dating has created a culture of quote, ghosting, disposability, and romantic churn in the running clubs. Pretty much everyone is sleeping with each other and running as well. My God, the smell. I think that it's the runners who aren't getting any dates. That's probably the people who are compelled. Yeah, because the priorities are all, like, if your running club is sort of getting tense and weird because people are having sex with each other and dating, you know that. And you want the dating to stop. I think you've got your priorities flipped. It's been a while since I've been out there, but I remember it fondly. Yeah. You're talking about running, I assume. Yes, yes, yes. Here is your last limerick. While I'm no great catch or hot stud, double dates sometimes land with a thud. Seeing you is a chore because your partner's a bore. It's too bad that you married a... A dud? A dud, yes. Wow. The New York Times offered tips this week for how to double date when your friend's partner is a dud, in their words. And if you're looking around the table during a double date and you're wondering, well, who's the dud? I have some bad news. Ultimately, the article says, compromise, that's important, you need to suck it up on behalf of your friend. Or just go to the nuclear option, invite a very hot single friend to join all of you so you can ruin their relationship. Maybe that's the time to bring up post-nups. Exactly. Just on a really bad double date. Yeah, although double dates with bad couples are very useful because afterwards you can turn to your spouse and be like, you know, compared to them, we're doing great. Bill, how did Trisha do in our quiz? Trisha is no dud. She got them all right. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Congratulations. Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many Fill in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score? I can. Joyelle has two. Tom and Faith each have three. Okay, that means Joyelle, you're in second place. Here we go. First, the clock will start when you begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump arrived in Beijing for his summit with Blank. Oh, the president of China? Sure. Xi Jinping is his name. On Thursday, the governor of South Carolina announced plans to redraw his state's blanks. Oh, the districts. Yeah, the congressional maps. This week, Kevin Warsh was confirmed as the next chair of the blank. Something that somebody got fired from. Not quite. The Federal Reserve. This week, staff at Baltimore City Hall were accused of spending $50,000 in city funds on Blank. Strip us. Oh, no. Crab cakes and wings at baseball games. They should have did the strip us. Maybe. On Wednesday, Utah approved a new blank data center twice the size of Manhattan. AI. Yeah, exactly. This week, visitors to Japan are being advised to read labels carefully after a foreign tourist was spotted blanking. Going through a garbage disposal to distribute hantavirus to people? No. The tourist in Japan was seen guzzling a bottle of sauce for noodles because she thought it was iced tea. The tourist was caught on Japanese TV opening a bottle of noodle sauce and taking a huge swig because she confused it for a bottle of iced tea, not being able to read the label. And if she is anything like me, she must have been thinking, oh, wow, the sophisticated Japanese palate. The salt makes this iced tea much more interesting. And also, it's thick. But I like it. Bill, how did Joelle do in her quiz? Three right. Six more points. Total debate. She's in the lead. Let's skip over one seat to Tom. Tom, you go next. Fill in the blank. According to new data, the U.S.'s blank rate jumped to 3.8% in April. Inflation. Right. After the White House approved a plan to fire him, Marty Makari announced he was stepping down as head of the blank. The border patrol. No FDA. This week, New York Mayor Blank released his $125 billion budget for the city. The mom-dame. Zoramun Bani on Monday, the Justice Department announced criminal charges related to the collapse of the key bridge in Blank. Where was the key? Baltimore. Right. This week, a White House email warning staff members about leaks to the media was blanked. Leaked? To the media, of course, on Monday, the 2026 blank film festival began in France. The con. Right. On Tuesday, Jason Collins, the first openly gay player in the blank, died of cancer at the age of four. Oh, the NBA. Right. This week, after an Amtrak train in Texas crashed into a car, the conductor was unable to assist the car's driver because the moment he stepped out of the train to do so, he was blanked. Hit by a train. No, he was surrounded by alligators. Oh, wow. This happened in the coastal region of Texas. The conductor said he wanted to help the driver in the car he had just hit, but four alligators blocked the path between him and the car. Fortunately, rescue workers were able to get to the scene quickly. The train was freed from the wreckage, arrived at its next destination only four hours late, which is actually considered for Amtrak on time. Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz? Really well. He got six right. 12 more points. Total to 15 puts him in the lead. All right. Not enough. Not enough. Listen, I had a concussion two weeks ago. So I'm playing out of deficit. All right. So how many then does faith need to win? Well, six to tie, seven to win. All right. Here we go. Faith, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, experts said that the war with blank would likely cost taxpayers $1 trillion. Iran. Right. This week, blackouts hit blank as the country says it has run out of fuel. Cuba. Right. This week, a new study found that over 25% of Americans believe that blanks assassination attempts were staged. Trump's. Right. On Monday, climate scientists warned that parts of India could soon be unlivable due to extreme blank. Heat. Right. This week, Pokemon fans in South Korea are lining up to get the recently released blank. K-pop Pokemon water bottle. No. Pokemon toilet paper on Wednesday was announced that Shakira and BTS will perform at the first ever blank halftime show. World Cup. This week, a mom in Florida who thought intruders were trying to smash their way into her home was relieved to discover it was just blank. Oh, a bear. No. Two alligators. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Fight for the death. Oh, oh, oh. Kayla Burris was inside with her sleeping baby, an Ave Maria, Florida, when she heard crashing on her porch and thought someone was breaking in. Thankfully, when she went to investigate, she saw it was just two alligators in a fight to the death over who would get to eat that Amtrak conductor. Bill, did Faith do well enough to win? Very close. Very close. Five right, ten more points, total of 13. She's number two. Tom is our champ. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict after Whirtle what will be the next time-wasting activity to get turned into a TV show. But first, let me tell you that-wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBZ Chicago, an association with urgent haircut productions Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Phillip Gotica writes our limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our ops manager is Jassira Vardak, thanks to the staff and crew here at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Normboss, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynne is our dog, Whispurger. And Troy is our vibe curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White, our CFO's Colin Niller, our production manager is Robert Newells. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog, and the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what time-wasting activity will next become a TV show? Faith Saley. The Zillow Game Show. Can you guess how much your friends' homes cost? Tom Baudette. Don't read the comments. The celebrities will be forced to look at the comments that follow pictures of them on the Internet while we watch. Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Wine and Dine, where we watch goofy billionaires whine about taxes while eating at restaurants with no prices on the menu. Well, if any of that happens, panel, we're going to ask you about it. Here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Faith Saley, Tom Baudette, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Stiffy Bay Theater in downtown Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be in this bright, wide world. I'm Peter Segel. We'll see you next week.