Prime Video offers the best in entertainment. This should be fun. Jason Momoa and Dave Bautista go completely down in the hilarious new action film The Wrecking Crew. Inbegrepen by Prime. Yeah, I'm pumped. Find the new Game of Thrones series A Night of the Seven Kingdoms. Based on the bestseller of George R.R. Martin. Look by being a member of HBO Max. So be brave, be just. So whatever you want to find, Prime Video. Here you look at everything. Abonnement is revised. In-house conferencing is 18+. Allgemeine forwaarden zijn van toepassing. things worse. I was very moved and, you know, touched that so many people sent so many questions in. It'll take me probably longer than I'm going to live to answer them all, but we're going to start right now, so let's hear one. Hello there, Bill. My name is Will. I am based in East London. I have a question for you, and that is related to my marriage next year in Tuscany. I am very much looking forward to it. The venue is fantastic. I very much love my fiancé. So, so far, so good. But I am, unfortunately, but a pasty Englishman and very ill-suited to high temperatures. And by that, I mean anything above 25 degrees, I'm afraid to say. My question is, how can I ensure that I exude the sophisticated and relaxed and demure vibe or aura that I intend to have at my wedding while battling this fiendishly high heat. My fiance is very lucky she does not have that problem. Any advice on this would be gratefully received. Thank you, Bill. You are my only hope. Well, Will, I feel you, as I think Generation Y used to say. I feel you. I also, being largely Irish, have a problem with anything above 25 degrees. I'm not built for that, and I've never had a sun tan in my life. I once went septic in the sun. I fell asleep on a beach and I had open sores over my body for the whole of the holiday. And my friends, in inverted commas, at night in the barn where we were living, they would wait till I'd got into the sleeping bag, very tentatively, you can imagine. And then they would roll me around the barn floor for a laugh while I screamed in pain. That's as near as I ever got to any kind of sun, sun, whatever you call it, sun tan. It was more a kind of pink. It was like the surface of the moon. I mean, my back was like, it was just horrendous. So I understand where you're coming from. This is not going to happen to you, Will. Calm down. The wedding's going to go fine. The thing about weddings is they always work out. And the big news is, or the important factor in your question is the fact that you love your fiance very, very much. That's all she wrote. You know, everything's going to work out fine. And she must already love you, even though you are vulnerable in that regard. If she wanted a guy who was, you know, easy and relaxed in the sun, she would have found one, but she found you. And also, you know, with all due respect, you can't have everything. Do you know what I mean? I mean, those guys that are easy in the sun, you know, I've never really felt relaxed around them. I don't know how that happens they're the kind of people that wear you know loafers and no socks and they have tanned ankles i mean never trust a man who's got tanned ankles for crying out loud that's for real but um i guess you buy a hat you don't go out you never ever i never walk in the sun i always walk in the shade i walk a lot and i often i navigate by shadow and i will take a long way around so that I can walk on that side of the street. I will walk around a block, an unnecessarily long block in order to stay in the shadow. And you need a decent hat. You need a decent Panama or something of that kind. And also, don't let anyone persuade you into linen. Often when decent, straightforward, right-thinking English people go into hot places, they are persuaded into wearing linen, which is obviously, you know, wrong. Women can wear linen, but men forget about it. I've made TV series. I've made whole films in very, very hot countries, and no linen has ever had contact with my flesh. I went to India and made two films in India. No linen was harmed during the making of those two films. hello bill my name is ernesto i'm from chicago and i was wondering how do you bounce back from having to be social and engage with people i find it takes me several days to kind of get my energy back and to not feel so drained what advice do you have to maybe help with that process. Thank you. Ernesto, that's a very, very good question. In earlier times, I used to find, like you, and I think you sound like somebody considerably younger than me, and I also used to have a kind of, not a literal hangover, but a real kind of physical hangover from social events and social occasions because I would get so tense and so wired, usually because I drunk too much coffee. I used to drink an enormous amount of coffee. I would drink a double espresso prior to meeting someone in order to make myself more interesting. And I don't know if I consciously thought that every time it became a reflex. And I would drink a can of Coca-Cola, which I thankfully don't do anymore, which is of course, you know, preposterous, like I get any more interesting because of a stimulant. But anyway, the answer to your question is hard to find I now easier in public situations in social situations I tend to try and ask questions and just inquire after people health and let them do the talking The danger for someone like myself who does not come easily to these affairs is when you do start talking to talk too much. And I would open up unnecessarily and find myself confiding in people that I'm probably never going to meet again. I try now to let other people do the talking, really. And I get there early and I leave early. So I don't, unless it's offensive to somebody, if it's somebody's birthday or something, I'll be the first to arrive. I'll be the first to arrive. I will honor whoever I'm required to honor. I will stay for a reasonable amount of time, like an hour, and then I will leave without saying goodbye. I will just drift out the door. so I do as little of it as possible and then I try and time it so I can go for dinner so I will leave the party or the book launch or whatever it is you're going to and then I always take a book well I always take a book everywhere so always carry the book and then I take the book to dinner but I would never be there longer than an hour and a half unless it's a dinner party if it's a dinner party well you're trapped there's only two people whose houses I go to for dinner apart from family and I'm fortunate that no one invites me to dinner parties I don't I don't quite why that is I'm not complaining I'm rejoicing but you'll have to wait a few years for that to happen but yeah get there early and leave early it would be my major contribution and just let them do the talking just ask questions and watch it like TV. Just watch it like TV and don't take responsibility for people's bad. I used to go to dinner parties and somebody would obviously be having trouble, difficulty in their marriage or something. They'd be sniping at one. And I would take, I would sort of feel like there was some phone call I hadn't made, like it was my responsibility or something, which is obviously insane. Not necessarily insane, just neurotic. But I don't take responsibility for other people's difficulties or if they have views that I find unpleasant, I let them, they're over there and I'm over here and it's fine and they don't, I'm not going to catch anything. I'm basically a medieval peasant who believes that if I stand too close to somebody who's appalling I might catch it. But I'm trying to give that up. Bill, good morning, good evening or good afternoon from the Netherlands. Do you think that being bored is a bad thing? I just want to know your opinion. Lots of love from Holland. I don't think there's anything wrong with being bored. It's not a moral issue. It doesn't make you a bad person or anything like that. I'm quite good at doing nothing. I'm quite good at wasting time. When I was young, I remember the luxury of being young was that you felt that you had lots and lots and lots, probably endless time. And it was kind of thrilling to waste it and to squander it. And this podcast was kind of billed as an invitation to squander time. And we attempt here to be entirely what you might call inconsequential. It's just really the length of a decent cup of coffee. And so we could help. You don't have to be bored unless, of course, you find me boring. And that's, you know, that's also not a moral issue. And I don't take it personally. He lied. My voice has been used, I've mentioned this in earlier podcasts, as a sleep aid on lots of occasions. So you could go from being bored to being asleep. And there's nothing wrong with being asleep because apparently I'm very handy for insomniacs. Hi Bill, it's Jonathan from Deal. I was wondering, you look pretty trim. what sort of exercise or exercises do you do thank you i'm very flattered by your question most people when i say that i exercise and this is a real thing in fact people as i speak in this room are doing it now they're holding their hands over their face because they're laughing just the idea if you put my name and the word exercise in the same sentence i promise you everyone who knows me and some people that don't actually know me at all burst out laughing and then the next thing they do is they say, what do you wear? Like I'm going to exercise in a two-piece navy suit or something. And I have to explain that I wear a pair of training trousers. And somebody said, you mean jogging pants? I said, no, I don't mean jogging pants. I don't own jogging pants. I don't even know what they are. And I wear a series of navy blue t-shirts and a pair of pomegranate, puma, reaching out for sponsorship, puma trainers. I used to be philosophically opposed to physical exercise of any kind. And I thought it was vulgar of people because it seemed to suggest that they wanted to prolong their life, which I thought was embarrassing and sort of bad manners. And people would always say, you know, but you know, it'll make you feel better. It's good for your mind, you know, all this stuff. I thought I was going to smoke until I died. and also I did have a problem because I was never I don't I have no history of casual clothing and not after my after I was 40 and I certainly not you know the kind of stuff you're supposed to wear when you train I mean it was a consideration I have to admit but then I found you know funky alternatives to the usual appalling stuff and it's worked out but and it has actually you know it's one of the greatest things another great thing that's happened to me and the bit after I've trained on the way to the coffee shop, which is about, you know, I don't know, 14 minutes, is as good as I'm probably ever going to feel because you get that thing that everybody used to talk about. It took me months of lying in bed with my phone trying to think of new reasons why I could text my trainer and say I can't come. Like I've been up all night and I can't, oh no, I've just been given a job, you know, just lies. And then my trainer said something very simple, but turned out to be kind of profound he said why don't you turn up whatever the weather which was kind of you know and i and that's exactly what i did whatever the weather literally and figuratively i turned up and then about i don know a few months further on i was having breakfast and i got this hum that went through my body and I thought oh I see this is what they talking about So now I can get enough of it And I don't actually even drag my feet. I used to drag my feet for quite a long time. But now I don't even do it reluctantly. I did it this morning, actually, and I was in the room getting changed. And I thought to myself, I'm not in any way resistant to this. I don't mind at all. In fact, you know, I'm happy that it's happening. I'm not looking forward to, you know, the bit when it's over, although the bit when it's over, as I say, is sensational. And you get a cup of tea. My trainer gives you a cup of tea and he knows how to make a cup of tea. It's like, you know, it's deep orange. So, yeah. So I've come to the point where I actually, you know, I take it in my stride. If you want me to be specific about which exercises, I have no idea. The reason I'm thin is because my father was thin. I mean, in fact, if you look at me, you're looking at my father. You're looking at my father only. My father was very satisfyingly slightly shorter than I am. But other than that, I'm playing a part at the moment, which is set in 1975. So I'm playing somebody of my age in 1975, which would have been about the same as my dad. And I'm dressed as my, I mean, by accident, really. But I looked at myself yesterday morning in the trailer mirror, and I was wearing a knitted green waistcoat, a pair of big pleated gray heavy trousers and a Marks and Spencers shirt and tie with my hair slicked back and a pair of 1940s glasses and you're looking at my father. And I sent it to my sister and she nearly fell off the phone. She was like, oh my God, because I didn't put anything under it. She thought her father had come back to life or something. And I sent it to my brother and they were both like, oh my God. Anyway, the trainer tells me what to do. my exemplary trainer, Matt Bamford, reaching out for sponsorship, no chance from Matt. He is an exemplary trainer. And the reason that I stayed, you know, people have given me free membership to, you know, posh gyms where a smoothie costs you 14 quid. The last time I did that, a young man inducted me and the next day I couldn't get out of bed. And I sent him a bunch of flowers and I said, I'm sorry, but this is not for me. I have to go to work. I can't walk, you know and then the only time it's ever made any sense to me is when i met matt because he doesn't kill me and he because he's the real thing he's not and there's no shouting or anything on and there's a total absence of machismo which is essential because i can't be around that stuff he just tells me what to do i'm you know i don't know what you call it i do a bit on the floor i do push-ups i do a plank now and again i do squats pardon the expression i do pulling stuff and I go on a treadmill for a while, but I'm not winning prizes. You know, it's not cosmetic, he lied, but it is, you know, going to keep me upright. I'm going to saunter into my very old age. That's the plan. That's all I want is to be able to swing in and saunter rather than crawl or bend, if you'll pardon the expression. It's time now to turn to the banned word list Words that our listeners want to remove from the English language And indeed any other language on earth Uni, I agree What's wrong with university? University is a very good word I always kind of shudder when somebody says uni Only a little bit, but I do Cupper. Yeah, I agree. What's wrong with cup? Hubby. Yeah, for crying out loud. I'm surprised somebody didn't come out with that soon. Quite what's wrong with nozzle as a word? I've no idea. My team who are enthralled to innuendo, which the thing about innuendo is that innuendo itself is an innuendo. which always amuses me but the word nozzle has reduced my team to a bunch of giggling messes. I refuse to ban nozzle because nozzle is what happens at the end of a hose. Yeah, we're not doing well here with the word nozzle. It's floored the room. And don't forget, if you have a word that you wish to banish from the English language, please let us know. This episode's playlist is called, forgive me, Groove Me Like Out. That's Groove Me Like Out, one word. And it's called Groove Me Like Out because my friend Brendan Thomas-Elliot and I, when we were young, would sometimes sign off with the postmodern ironic ancient jive talk reference Groove Me Like Out, which amused us at the time and I have to admit still amuses me now. The use of ancient jive talk and dragging it into the modern world has always given me enormous pleasure. And groove or groove me or groovy were words that if anyone spoke the word groovy in 1973, you left the room. You didn't want to breathe the same air as anybody who said groovy. I remember the first time anybody ever said to me, dig you later. And at the time I was appalled. But then you see with time, irony is introduced to the whole affair and dig you later becomes kind of fun. So I have on occasion said to people, I dig you later. But I always put the tea in later. Sorry, forgive me, because it takes guts to put the tea in later. The first song is from one of my favorite artists, Johnny Guitar Watson. Guitar is in inverted commas, obviously, and as you may know, I'm a fool for inverted commas and for parenthesis in song title terms. I get excited, always did as a child, as a young man. Anyway, Johnny Guitar Watson is someone I want to bring into the modern world. He's not forgotten, but he's not remembered or known by enough people in my view He a beautiful guitar player and there may be more of him coming up in the future Anyway this one is called hook me up i think we know where he stands and the next track is from the incredible marvin gay and it's a an early tune when he was still a tamla artist it's called ain't that peculiar and people my age will be familiar with it it was one of the tunes that we played when i tried to start what would now be called a pop-up club above the co-op in the high street in the town where I was born and we called the club and it was my idea we called the club stop making love which was supposed to suggest that you stop making love between half past seven and half past ten which is when we had to close because you were so busy making so much love and the fact that none of us, well certainly not me, had ever made love or anything approaching that. We just kept that to ourselves. But it was, those were the times, you know, what can I tell you? Anyway, it's Ain't That Peculiar, Put the Kettle On, Dance Around the Kitchen. The next track is from one of the greatest artists of all time, which I'm amazed hasn't been included on any playlists up until now. It's Stevie Wonder with a song called I Love Every Little Thing About You. And it reminds me of a great Lou Reed lyric from a song called Down at the Arcade. And the lyric is, the president called to give me the news. I've been awarded the Nobel Prize for rhythm and blues. And Stevie Wonder wants to record one of my songs, which has always made me feel like, you know, the whole thing might just work. And the next tune is by Orgone, or Orgone, O-R-G-O-N-E, and it's from an album called Raw and Direct. And this is a version, a cover of one of my favorite songs called Be Thankful for What You've Got. I like this song so much that I actually have a playlist which consists only of versions of this song. and there are I think something like a dozen versions but I hadn't come across this version until relatively recently. The final song on this playlist is from Pharrell Williams the great Pharrell Williams and it's called Crystal Clear and on my phone it has the poster of the movie Hidden Figures I don't know whether it was written specifically for the movie but there you are it's a song I've always liked and I did get to meet Mr. Williams on one occasion but it was one of those occasions where I was just rendered lemon-like. In other words, I just went into stasis and couldn't think of anything to say and I left it at that. So anyway, that's the list, so I hope you like it. Remember, you don't have to make a note of these things because they're all in the show notes and there's a link to Spotify. This episode's book, or book of the week, is by Joan Didion. I've read Everything, I Think, by Joan Didion. And this one is called Where I Was From. And she's from Sacramento in California. She's a wonderful writer. I struggled with the decision about which of her books I should choose. And I've chosen this because it might persuade you into reading other of her books because she writes so beautifully. But also, it's a very singular book, and it's kind of what you need to know about America before you start. And this is a short passage from it. One hundred years ago, our great-great-grandparents were pushing America's frontier westward to California. That's a quote. So began the speech I wrote to deliver at my eighth grade graduation from the Arden School outside Sacramento. The subject was our California heritage. developing a theme encouraged by my mother and grandfather, I continued, made rather more confident than I should have been, by the fact that I was wearing a new dress, pale green organdy, and my mother's crystal necklace. It was in June 1948. The pale green of the organdy dress was a colour that existed in the local landscape only for the few spring days when the rice first showed. The crystal necklace was considered by my mother an effective way to counter the valley heat. Such was the blinkering effect of the local dream time that it would be some years before I recognized that certain aspects of our California heritage did not add up, starting with, but by no means limited to, the fact that I had delivered it to an audience of children and parents who had, for the most part, arrived in California during the 1930s, refugees from the dust bowl. It was after this realization that I began trying to find the quote point of California to locate some message in its history. I picked up a book of revisionist studies on the subject but abandoned it on discovering that I was myself quoted twice. You will have perhaps realized by now a good deal earlier than I myself realized that this book represents an exploration into my own confusions about the place and the way in which I grew up. Confusions as much about America as about California. Misapprehensions and misunderstandings, so much a part of who I became that I can still to this day confront them only obliquely. That's the snippet. Now just see how you feel. But Persevere, it's a significant book. Thank you for listening. I hope I've helped pass the time and haven't made things worse. So I'll see you next time. And in the meantime, stay loose. Ill-Advised by Bill Nye is produced by Alice Williams and Kieri Gregory and the associate producer is Angelique Soma, pronounced Soma. And it's an iPod studio production. And Bill Nige, and that's the correct way to pronounce his name, I have been confidently assured, is an executive producer.
