Halle Berry

My name is Halle Berry and I feel... Still ghosted about being cone in a Brian's friend! Wait, how did I ghost you? What did I ghost you? You never called me. Well, there are issues. My wife doesn't love it when I call you. Also, in my sleep when I yell, Halle Berry! Repeatedly, she gets upset. Fallen school, here and now, back to school. Ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there, welcome to Cone in a Brian Needs friend. I am that Cone in a Brian joined by Sonoma Cessian. And, uh, well, a little twist here, not Matt Gourley. Yeah, we got David Hopping sitting in. Hello. Good to see you, David. Great to see you. Um, and David is sitting in. This is very exciting because I don't know when this airs, but last night, uh, Matt Gourley and his wife Amanda had a baby girl. And so now they have two girls. They have their second child and it's very exciting. We're very happy to them. It's crazy. They, this, uh, Matt sent us a photo this morning of Amanda holding, uh, his new daughter and, um, just, Amanda, it enraged me. It enraged me too. Yeah. She looks like she's had a full hair and makeup and she has it. She's just that beautiful. She is gorgeous. Gorgeous. Yeah. She looks completely unfazed by it. Yeah. And I, it made me angry. Yeah. It's just, I was, I was very, uh, I was like, good God. Yeah. She looks beautiful. Um, they did put fall silatius on the daughter, which I thought was weird. And press on nails. It was really long. Really? Yeah. I thought that was a little much. Yeah, the tan or two. Yeah. And she's, uh, spray tan. I, but, um, no, it's a beautiful, sorry to interject. Oh, beautiful. I didn't think you needed to come in. Oh, it's a beautiful. I honestly didn't think you needed to interject. It's a beautiful photo. Well, I just have to bring something up. It's a beautiful photo of this, of this lovely little girl. Yeah. And we all have a text message, a chain going on with all of us. Yeah. We're all saying, oh, she looks great. She looks great. And then you wrote, that's the face Blay makes when he levels up in Elder Scrolls V. Oh, my God. Well, no, you told the story incorrectly. I did. Yeah. There's a second shot of just the baby. Yes. And then you said, you didn't say that. Oh, okay. And I'm just, I, I disagree with everything you do. And I want to go on to answer that. Why is that an important detail, though? Because there was a picture of this beautiful baby with this beatific smile. That's right. And I said to that, that's the face Blay makes when he levels up in Elder Scrolls V. Yeah. So I just cleared that up. Yes. And I just want to say, you're right. Uh, but also I'm impressed. You know what Elder Scrolls V. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh my God. No, that's very exciting. And so instead of Matt, we have David Hopping. David is my assistant. You called me very excited this morning because my flip phone came through. We know the flip phone, saga. I got a flip phone last year when preparing for the Oscars, because I really wanted to focus. And I don't want to be constantly harried and harassed by the thousands of people that have my phone number. So last year I got a flip phone. So I could really, really focus. And I just only five people had the number. And I could bury my other phone. And so I asked you several months ago to reactivate the flip phone. And you're great, David. You do everything the minute I ask. Thank you. Let's leave it there. You wouldn't do it. I kept forgetting. And I kept asking you and you'd be like, on it. On you wouldn't do it almost to a pathological degree. Now is it stupid? I could just turn off the other functions on my phone. Is it stupid that I have a flip phone? Probably. But I loved it. I love flipping it open. And I love looking like I'm trying to get some math. I just love it. Or sell it. You know, it's a burner phone. I like that maybe I could commit a crime and then hit the highway and I'm hard to trace. So I love this little blue flip phone that I have. Now it's a black one because your blue one stopped working. Okay. Can you just reactivate it? You know, like the phone when it turned on. Yeah. Oh. But you know what's interesting? Let's get to the issue here. The crux of the issue. You wouldn't do it for the longest time. And it got a little crazy because I think I brought it up maybe twice a week and you'd say, yep. And then he just wouldn't do it. And I just thought, I kept forgetting. What? You thought you had like the sickest burn you were like you're turning into Sona? Why did you say that was Sona here? Why did you say that was Sona here? I'm just trying to get the heat off of me. Well, you used to famously not do things. I have a point to make. I think you're changing the narrative a little bit. Did he really do it twice a week? You didn't do it twice a week? No, you didn't. That's the thing. You always change the narrative to make the person seem less confident. How many times do you think I asked over the last three to four months? Maybe like three or four. No! Absolutely not. Anyway, Sona, you admitted in a remote that you had a hard time doing something that I asked you to do. What is it about you that makes people not want to help you? Like the people who are supposed to help you? I told him I never really understood when you said you had a block about assisting him until for whatever reason this flip phone. The flip phone? I think you're in the problem. So the flip phone. It's not a... As a licensed psychiatrist and psychologist, I would like to dive in on this. What was it about the flip phone because you've never done that before, but you really did dig in in your own way. Go. Here's what I think it was. You got a flip phone originally. Great. It was working for whatever reason the service stopped. The person who was setting up our phone, I think, had never seen a cell phone before. I think it was his first day. I think he snuck in the back, pretended to be working there. Anyway, we had a bad experience there. They were there so long that I was talking to the guy trying to get the phone set up. I couldn't see Conan and I looked. Conan's just laying on a bench. Because we were there for more than an hour and a half. Oh no. And this person just looked absolutely dumbfounded about how to give me a phone number and just initiate the phone. So that's what did it. We got burned there and that's why you didn't... You thought you'd have to go back there. The important thing is the phone's working now. Yeah. That's the important. You have a new number. But you know what? I'll remember is you're refusal to do it for such a long time. That's the part, not the fact that now it's here and I should be happy, but I'll always remember is how long it took. That is my illness and my talent. And you'll bring it up in two years. Yes. And it's going to be something he may have forgotten. Because why would anybody remember that? I don't know why. I will... I just never forget when someone around me screws up. I just... It's with me forever. And on my... I think on my deathbed and I hope this is not for a very long time. Maybe I'll even be comatose, but all of a sudden when the end is very near, I'll just start... Almost like I'm in tongues, I'll start spewing all of the mistakes that I've recorded to exercise them from my body. Yeah. And it'll be just whole... Some people poop. You... I'm not going to do that. Don't be... Don't people poop? Oh, when they die. When they die. That's your way of pooping. I don't think anyone does that. No, I think... Don't they? Don't they poop a little? Isn't there a poop? Death poop. It's a death poop. You're death pooping with... But you're saying words. The things that you're holding in? No one I've never heard that. No one poops. Did I make that up? No, I've heard that. I think too... I've seen two people die and you're right. Neither one of them pooped. No one does on it. Yeah. Neither one of them pooped. I saw it. How did this change? How did you do this? You totally effed up this conversation. I left it up. Yeah. No. We were solving this whole flip phone issue. And I was going to go into a great impression of me spewing out all the... Oh, I'm sorry. No, it's too late. I'm not happening. But now we're into death poop. That's what occurs because all muscles, including the sphincter muscles that control bowel and bladder movements, relax immediately upon death. The release of waste is not guaranteed, but it is a normal, natural part of the post-mortem Death poop? I'm right. You've never heard of it. I've been vindicated. It's what it's never heard of that. Well, okay. I think we should just end this segment. I'm really bummed out. Why? Well, that was just to really bum me out, death poop. Congratulations to Gourley on his new... Yes. Yes. Hey, we were on death. What about the creation of new light early? There will be no pooping there. Sir, can I ask you a question? Were you upset that when he... I don't know if David apologized for it. But if you apologized for it, were you upset if he didn't mean it or that he wasn't beating himself up over it? I like people to beat themselves up. I know you do. I know. And you never would. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, that medicine that keeps me alive, the heart medication. Okay. Yeah, I just didn't get it. Big deal. And you just wouldn't do it. You wouldn't say, oh, I'm sorry, Conan. That's all you had to do. Oh, my God, in your world, you're just like this. I'm... Everything I do is so nice that I need medicine and no one's helping me. You're an evil. There's no medication, I'm honest. There's no medication, I'm on. That is necessary. Nothing. Not a thing. But in my mind, I've turned it into I need to have this nitroglycerin pill. Or my failing heart will give. When probably what I was asking you for was a supplement. Where's my way protein pill? All right. There you did your voice. You're welcome. You're welcome. Okay, my guest today is an Academy Award-winning actress. You know, from such movies as Monsters Ball and Die Another Day. Now you can see here in the film Crime 101. I'm in love with this woman. You're just going to say that right now. Howie Berry. Welcome. Conan, you have been one of my favorite people ever. Oh, my God. I think you know this. Like, I'm not saying something. I can't take that in emotionally or spiritually. It's true. It's true. You know, I will say this. It's really true. You were on the late night shows. I think you've nine times. You came on the show. And it was always just fantastic. One of my favorite clips is at one point we're going back and forth. And then I kind of fake dis you and you stand up and walk out. And I leap to try and I mean, it's a talk show. And I leap. To like, oh, come back. And you committed. You like left. But then you came back. But it was such a great moment. And I have to say, a lot of cool people, a lot of very famous people come in this building. Things are a little different today. Yeah. So I show up about an hour and a half ago here in the building. And everyone's freaking out that you are coming. And these are people that see, you know, big names all the time. Ted Danson does a show here. He's a big deal. He comes in and all of a sudden I heard all this noise downstairs. And I said, Betcha, how are berries here? And they said, someone said, no, I think that's Ted Danson. And I went, no, they're way too happy. And I love Ted Danson. And people here love Ted Danson. That's how off the charts things were. So it's just so great to see you. You'll look gorgeous. As you always do. I'm going to warn you that sitting next to you is a gentleman who's got, listen, I think we have to come out with this. It's a full disclosure kind of thing. Full disclosure kind of thing. So let's hear it. This is Matt Gourley and Matt, why don't you confess your love and obsession. Well, I just love the bond movies. And so it's a pleasure to have a bond girl in here like this. Thank you. And also iconic bond girl. I know. In my opinion. Very iconic. Very iconic scene. Jinks. Anyway, I'll shut up now. I got it. And it's taking care of why are your glasses fogging out? Am I not in the shower right now? Okay. Yeah, I would say between... You hit so many notes in your career, but you think about it. There's this intersection of bond girl, which means the world to so many people, but also X-Men, Storm, and then all this crazy hardcore legit movie roles and it all comes together. And you couldn't have planned a career like that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know. I did not. It'd be scary if you did. It'd be scary. I don't even know how you go. Seven years old and you had a chart with different intersecting circles and yarn. That would have been cool. But no, that's not, you know, I had so funny because I was thinking a lot about you today as I do. See, I know you do. Wait, are your glasses are fogging? I know, that's not what I was saying. I know, that's not what I was saying. My retinues are fogging up. I'm getting clout coma. I know. You have never forgotten me, Conan. I have no. One does not forget you. You know this. Yeah. And so this was, you know, what was I just saying? I just like, my mind just... I was thinking about her. I was thinking about you today. I think about you and yesterday and then a couple of weeks ago. Stop reiterating it. Stop. I had this theory that very creative, interesting people and creative souls are created by this in childhood, not quite knowing who they are. Meaning that that's where real creativity comes from. And I was just reading over your whole life story, which is really something. And you, as a child, were very dislocated in a lot of ways emotionally. And I thought, I'm still dislocated. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, yeah, but I mean, I think that leads to a creative soul. It's not always pretty, but I sometimes think that living a completely normal, happy childhood isn't always the best recipe for being creative. Do you agree with that? I do. I think so. I think having always searching for something, for love, for acceptance, for belonging, I think does allow us to go really far in our business. Yeah. You know, we're searching. I'm still searching. I think that's the purpose of being here. Right. If ever I figure it out, I think that's when I'm in that box looking straight up. Well, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to be very facing down. I'm going to be burned up. I don't want to be in a box, actually. I'll finally be out of a fucking box. When I die. So you want to be burned up and then put through like a snow blower and shot all over the place. I love everybody. That's wow. Okay. That's what I want. So much of my family's getting when I die. So many people were going to turn out for that ceremony. I'm covered in Halle Berry. This took a crazy turn. I didn't think this was coming. But that's what just happened. No, but I was thinking about it. You born to white mom, black dad, right? And then not really much of a relationship with your dad. And this childhood of, I know your mom, you're in a, took you to an all white neighborhood. So that's a lot of dislocation, I would think. And a lot of like, wait a minute. What's going on? I need to figure out who I am. Your dad's family didn't want to have much to do with you guys. They didn't want to have much to do with my mom. Because she was white. But I was really close to my grandparents. My dad's mom and father. But the thing, the thing about that kind of childhood was, looking like me, obviously being black, but having a white mother, all girls, you know, you want to be like your mom, right? But it was painfully impossible for me to be anything like my mother. Right? She was blonde, blue eyes, like everything I wasn't. And your mom was born in Liverpool? Yeah. That's, I mean, I never knew that. So your mom doesn't even sound like you when you're growing up. Well, she did because they came here very early. So she didn't really sound, she kind of lost like her family, really, you didn't still sound like that. But we looked nothing alike. And I could never achieve that. Nobody, I mean, I used to walk around with like a yellow towel around my head pretending I had blonde hair. You know, I just wanted to be like her. And so I felt very confused about my identity growing up, you know, even though we lived in an all black neighborhood, I still, I wanted to be like my mother, you know, that's a very natural state of being. And I never could be. And I think that's led to my feeling of, you know, not belonging and not really knowing who I was. And if my mother's white and I'm black, like, what does that mean? Who am I? Am I really black? Am I half black? Am I mixed? Am I not mixed? I don't feel very white. I look very white, but yet I have this white mother. Like, it's part of me. Like, there was a lot of confusion growing up. How would I identify? And it was actually that white mother that really made me realize, you are not white. Yes, you are half me. And, you know, and she knew I was proud of that. But she told me, you'll be identified as you are. You will be perceived as black. You are black. And if you accept this part of you, your life will be indelibly easier because she saw me struggling to identify myself some way. We all need to identify with something, right, to feel a part of something. And so I realized pretty around the middle school years. I realized I was black. And that was okay that I didn't have a black mother and that I would never be like her, that I was. I had a black, with great teacher that helped me also realize, you're amazing, just as you are. This fifth grade teacher was so important to you. She became a big part of your life. She did. Yeah, a big part of my life. She's now my kids' godmother and she's still a part of my life. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, I do not have that relationship with my fifth grade teacher. Do you remember your fifth grade teacher? I do. And I've got the police looking for her. Oh, oh, oh. No, no, I'm kidding. I'm thinking fourth grade. And you know who you are. Anyway, we'll get into that later. And meaning we'll never get into that. But you know, it's interesting because when a kid that young, I think, is struggling to figure out feels off balance with such an elemental thing. It's such an early age. They start looking for signals. They start looking for things maybe harder than a kid who's completely comfortable would. And for you, it's watching movies. You're watching movies. You're watching, you know, whatever's going to come on television or whatever you can see in the theater. Yes. And that's where kind of this begins. This road you get on. I think so. We were latchkey kids. My mom was busy working. She was a single mom. So she was always working. So it was a lot of get home, let yourself in, figure out your food, figure out your fun, do your homework if you want to. You don't. You don't. It's all cool. Yeah, so we're very independent. And I also got into a lot of fights growing up. I was busy fighting a lot. Physical fights. Physical fights. Yeah, bullied. And you would fight back. Were you good at fighting back? I didn't fight back at first. There's a story that really the moment when I decided to fight, I was one day. Do you want to hear this story? I do. OK. OK, so one day, I was getting bullied quite a bit. And I would always know that I was going to get my ass kicked because they would come and tell me, after school, we're going to kick your ass. And I'd be like, OK. Was it all me? Was it all because of the color of your skin? That. And I was still not like a shrinking violet. So if you said something to me, I'm going to say something back. So that probably got my ass kicked if you said that. But this one particular day, this really tall, like this girl was already like six feet tall in the sixth grade, came to me and said, yeah, we're going to kick your ass after school just so you know. And I said, OK, sounds good. Sovery, I love it. It's like, can we schedule that in? Yeah. I'll put it in my planner. I have something at 2.15. I could do 240. 240 works. Ass kicking 240. I'm kicking. Also, it's for girl making me think, was this you? No. No end here. OK. Very funny. All right. And yes. Go ahead. So I get, I'm on the bus. They're on the bus. I know what's happening. I get off and sure enough, she gets off. And two of their girls get off. And then like three boys get off too. And I thought, that's interesting. Get off the bus and sure enough, I'm walking home, got my head held low. I know it's coming. I just don't know when the first thing, the first hit's coming, but I know it's coming. And out of nowhere, I just feel like on the top of my head, that's how tall she is. Just like boom. And I like did like the wiggle down. Yeah, yeah. You're trying to do an accordion. Swing out. It came half of myself. Hit the ground. And when I was down there, she then ripped my shirt off. And then I realized why the boys were there. They were going to see something. Written my shirt off. And I just have my little breast buds out. And the humiliation was so great. And I felt I could not do anything. I allowed this to happen to myself. I just knew it was going to come. And I just accepted it. I didn't know the stripping of the clothes was coming. But it all was just so terrible. And they all continued. The boys included then laughing and kicking me until I ended up in the sewer, which was like the open water that ran outside of our house. You were like, hello country suburb. And there I was in the gutter as they ran off laughing. And when I got out that day, that was the day that I said, no more. I am never going to accept that somebody's going to kick my ass. And I said, OK, well then, let's do that. And that was the day I started fighting back. And I didn't fight back necessarily fight with fire. I decided I was going to control everything at school. I was going to be. Because part of the reason I was letting myself get beat up is because I didn't feel good enough. I didn't feel on par with these kids. I felt like somehow in some twisted way, I deserved that or I didn't belong there. And I decided I'm going to be the class president. I was going to be on the honor roll. It's going to be the head cheerleader. I was going to be the editor of the newspaper. I did all the things so that I could not be denied. And through that, little by little, respect grew for me. And I felt good about myself. And so therefore, I felt that from everybody else. And by the time I left that school, I felt like I was now running the shit. I was like in charge. Yeah. And that's how I dealt with feeling less than allowing myself to be beat up. Those forks in the road where that terrible experience you had, things can get worse after that. And they can start to get better. And you made this decision, all right, things get better now. Yep. That's what's going to happen. Yep. And those are pivotal moments in one's life. And it was my fifth grade teacher, Ivan, who was there to help me come up with this strategy. She helped me realize how I could, leaving the school wasn't an option. So it was, how could I fight back without going to their level and using violence and figuring out how I was going to murder all these kids? It was more about, how do you really fight back? That really will benefit you as you grow. Not just beat these kids, not about these kids, really. Well, also, best revenge is success. Yes. You know, having an amazing life and being a superstar. Yes. I'll get there. Yes. Oh, I'm real pretty. You know, I think your early foray into being seen is in beauty pageants. You know, and so it's interesting to me that which you were very successful at, you know, and to be, to have people looking at you that way. Are you successful in beauty pageants? Were you not, was it? I mean, how did you, you took that route and then you're, you're, you're being seen that way, but you must have known, no, I've got this whole other. Yeah. I've got this, this amazing tool set that isn't even being utilized in me just being in this pageant. Yeah. That's, you know, sometimes you kind of fall into something you don't really know how you got there. That was kind of my story. I don't really know how I, well, my boyfriend at the time entered me in my very first one because he wanted to have a girlfriend who was a queen, a beauty queen. What the fuck? He just wanted that tiara. I want a tiara. No, no, no. They're expensive because you're making the key to me. Yeah, just by law. It's so weird. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, the queen comes along. That's a strange calculation. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, I show up. I get this letter in the mail that says one day you've been accepted to the Miss Teen Ohio pageant. I was like, well, really? How did I get in that? He's like, oh, I sent you your high school picture. I send it in for you. Oh, wow. That's a good thing. So once you got in, I got in. And the thing about beauty pageants, when you win one, then you have to go to the next one. Like there's always a step next, right? So I went on a string of winning and everyone I got into was just because I'd won the one before. Right. So I had to go to the next one and you had to go to the next one. And then finally, I lost and it stopped. Yeah. And I went on to my life. But that was it. And you were never heard from again. I don't know who you are, right? But it was a good way to start. I mean, you know, I got to travel. I went to every state in this country, which was really good. And I had to find where the best bananas foster was in every state that I went in before internet. And that was hard thing to do. We'd like to know. And to find it in each city, I had to find where they sold, make the best bananas foster for our group. So I was very resourceful. But his foster is, is that have caramelized? Is it the one you light on fire? Light on fire. Light on fire. It's got bananas and brown sugar and rum and butter and cinnamon and vanilla. And you put it over vanilla ice cream. You make a thing with the cooked bananas. You get that in here, right? Can we have a more just some rum? Screw the banana and shit. I want that rum. So then there's this leap. I don't understand what you should go from that experience to, and I know there's a lot that must happen in between, but jungle fever, spiky, when is that, how does that happen? How does that happen? Well, I, because I came from beauty pageants, I, when I realized I was studying at second city and one of my teachers, I said, you know, you should be an actor. And I really didn't, that's it really. He said, yeah. So when I got this chance to audition for spiky, it was to play his, you know, his girlfriend and the other thing was, you know, pretty girl is his wife. And I was like, okay, that got me in there. But when I got to meet spiky, I said, I know you want me to read that, but can I read the crack hole part? Can I read the other part? And he was like, no, I don't, you're not the crack hole. I said, I am the crack hole. I am the crack hole. You have no idea, spiky. I am the crack hole. And he was like, crack, it's bananas foster. It's my crack, but it's still the same idea. So how did you convince him? I just said, you know, I am really more than the pretty girl. I really, I want to show you that. Let me go, he goes, okay, go on the bathroom wash all your stuff off. And maybe I can see you as the crack hole. So I did that and I came out and then I got to audition for that part. And he was like, you are the crack hole. Congratulations. I'll make compliments. You won. You're the crack. You know, I'm getting crack hole right now. Congratulations. You're the crack hole. Yeah. You know, that's like a journey. But I also knew if I was going to really be doing this thing seriously, I felt like I needed to come out of the gate being more than speaking of boxes. I did not want to get put in that box. Yeah. But I think if you look back at the trajectory you already had and what you had been dealing with because you would had to fight all those battles, you're in a situation where most people are just thrilled to be in the Spike Lee movie. Do you know what I mean? And pretty girlfriend in the Spike Lee movie is just fine. Thank you. But to be in that situation, say no, actually over there is where I think I need to be director, writer director, otur. But it all comes from this, it goes back to this same idea, discomfort, a feeling of being unsettled as a kid. I think that builds this, this strength and where you're not going to do that. I need to be over there. Even if maybe people around you are saying don't rock the boat, you know, this is the part you could have. Yeah. And I knew being a black woman, you know, it's the bottom. It is really the bottom. And you have nothing to lose only to gain by rocking the boat and demanding more and asking for more and being loud about it. You have nothing to lose because you're already at the bottom. And that's really how I felt. Yeah. It's unbelievable that I'm going to skip ahead to Monsters Ball for which you win an Oscar and it's a historic Oscar. It is a seminal moment in film history, history. It's a big moment. When you see that part, do you think this could be huge for me to that resonate with you or did you go into it thinking, oh, this is another part I can play and I'm going to do it. And maybe it was hard to see how far this could go. Yeah, I can't say I thought Oscar. I don't think anybody can think, oh, this is going to be an Oscar. I don't know if you think that. That's insane. I felt like this was either going to be one of the best things I ever did or it would end my career. But that's where I like to live on that edge of risk big, win big. I have known you cannot win big if you don't risk big and if you don't even try, you're surely going to lose. So people around me said, because at that time I hadn't done nudity and the sex scene was like a big, like it had a big red light on it sex scene. Like it was such a big part of that movie that people close to me said, you know, this could really be, you know, this could hurt you. This could really hurt you. This could not be a good thing. It was a little small movie, no money. It's like a little indie, like it could be all for nothing, right? And I had the feeling that I related to the character. I wanted to play the part and I said, if this ends my career, then I'm ending my own career on my own beliefs, right? You know, it's what I wanted to do. And if that's the case, then I have a knowing, then that's what it's meant to be. And this isn't for me then, right? I have a knowing of that. If it ended it, then I'm in the wrong place. And it would be the universe showing me to move or where to go, right? I didn't think that there could be a negative no matter what, how it turned out. Also, as you just said, you have that, I've got nothing to lose here. It's a great attitude. It's a great attitude, which you come by that the hard way. You come by it very honestly, but it's such a, you know, position of strength. Yeah. Yeah. And when you really believe that and I do, I can still sit here 30 years later at 60 this year, not afraid to do anything really because I still feel that way. Yeah. Nothing to lose, nothing. And that is a really empowering feeling. And that has allowed me to try many different things over my career. Didn't always win, but it didn't mean I lost. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Yeah. But it didn't mean I lost. I'm still here. You know, and it's just like, okay, well, that didn't work. Let's try something, you know, it doesn't, nothing can level me. Right. Well, I say that to young people. You're right. I say that to young people all the time, which is I tell them, you don't get dinged as much as you think you will be for failing. And in order to get it right, you need more shots on goal. Right. So you have to keep trying. And then you're getting to sports and I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. What does that mean? Someone help me here. Matt? Oh, forget it. No, not me. There's no one here. Oh, I don't know. No, it's okay. There you go. You don't have a shot on goal, man. Exactly. You need more, Tim. There's a ball of some kind. This interview is over. Completely lost me. You know, that moment, I still remember that moment when you won. And like I say, it was a historic win. The first, you know, it's so funny because I was writing notes. You know, like I write notes and I can't always read my own handwriting. I was writing them real fast and ideas and stuff. And then I wrote down on a piece of paper like yesterday when I was thinking about you coming. And what I wrote was supposed to say first a black person to win best actress. And what I wrote was first woman to win best actress. And of course, I'm writing real fast and I just dropped. And then this morning I'm looking at over and I'm like, well, first woman to win best actress. How did she pull that off? But you know, it's so interesting because that was such an electric moment and so real because you really, I don't think had thought that might happen. And you were like, I sure wasn't because back then the golden globe was the precursor. And I didn't win the golden globe. So that was the night I knew, well, my my chances are over. This has been fun though. This little movie that they thought could have leveled me got me this far. Like that. It was done then. Yeah. And the memories of that night actually is Russell Crowe. When I walked up to get my Oscar, he saw that I had left the building and he just looked at me and he was like, breathe mate. Just breathe mate. You got a breathe mate. I was with him in a Lamas class. That is exactly how he sounds. That is, I mean, and it woke me up to, we got a breathe. And I got a turn and I got to talk to these people. They're a very spiritual person and I've always known that about you whenever I talk to you. I mean, there is an aura around this woman there. You have this, you're connected to something that cannot be explained. And I know that you've talked about having this life changing experience in India. Were you like on a soul searching mission when you went to India? And were you talking to a shaman? Were you talking to like a religious figure? What happened? How do you know about that? I've been following you. You know about this corner. You know that weird lady that you always see about six, about nine feet behind you. Scribbling in a notebook. First woman to win best actress. Can you believe a woman won best actress? You're not even accurate. No. I was just reading all this stuff about you and it said that you had this great life changing moment in 2017 and 2017 and it sounded kind of fascinating. Like I know I'm a skeptical person but I'm also in a weird way not a skeptical person and I'm very much interested when someone else has an experience like that. I want to know what happened. Okay. Well, I was there on a thing and I decided to go to after we left Mumbai, I wanted to go to this wellness center in Kerala. So I did and there was a shaman there and he took me in my group. We were there like the end of our week. He took us all out to meditate like right on the edge of the ocean and you do it at like three o'clock in the morning when all the high priestess and the buddhas are meditating. It's the highest vibration. Right. So we're out there at the edge of the ocean. We're on our mats. I have like four people with me. We start. He says it's going to be a long meditation. Like we're going to go three, four hours into it. So we're in it. We're going to be about an hour in. I'm still in it but I just kind of kind of look around. All my people are like. There's no longer. There's no longer. Are these friends of yours or is it like agent manager account? No, they're friends of mine. I just picturing me bringing Rick and Gavin. Oh my god. You know, Michael Carlin, all these guys and suits. All right, everybody. Let's get in the lotus position. They're on their phones. But anyway, so these are friends. They're friends. And they're not having it. They're out. They're like two damn early. They're sleeping. But I'm still in this meditation. So finally, he comes to me and he says, for the last hour, I want you to put your eyes at like 20% just so you can kind of see but stay in your meditation. So he keeps guiding me and talking. So all of a sudden, he starts to walk in front of me and he walks to the edge of the ocean. And I sort of see him out there. But I'm in my state and I'm in the meditation doing what I'm doing. And I look and I see that there's a shadowy figure that comes to him. And I'm thinking where did that come from? It looked like it came out of the ocean. But I'm thinking, well, I'm in the meditation. Well, how could that be? What would come out of the oceans? And what am I seeing here? So it stays out there for a while. And about 20 minutes later, he starts to walk back towards me and that person or that figure just kind of goes away. And I thought, now what the hell is that? Who was that? So when the meditation is over, he says, so what happened? And I said to him what I just saw and he said, oh, yes. So what I thought, come with me. So he takes me into a little room and he said, you know what just happened out there? I said, no idea. Where did that man or that person or that thing come from? And he said, that was your third eye opening. You saw my aura. He said, was it black? I said, yep. He said, that was my aura. You now are in the club of your third eye opening. And there's a good, it was positive and there's a negative to this third eye. You're going to see so many things. You couldn't imagine you would see. You're going to understand things instantly in a way you never used to before. But the bad part is the negative is you're going to have to act on it. And that's going to get you in a lot of trouble. That's going to make you unpopular. It's going to have you have a really hard time in relationships with people. A lot of them will come and go as a result because you will no longer be able to be silent. When you know something or you see something or you feel something. And I said, even if I try not to say anything, he said, you will see. You will not. You will not be able to be quiet. And Conan, that is the thing that has happened since that time. I do no longer be quiet. And people have come and gone as a result. I have ended relationships as a result, like seemingly out of nowhere because I saw the truth of the situation. And there are sometimes when I see the good in a situation and I go down a path and I embrace something that everybody is like, what are you doing that? I'm like, I see it. This is going to be great for me. I see it and it turns out to be great. So I've learned to trust that this third eye, this thing I have, it's real and I got it. And I just trust it now. When someone leaves or I tell someone, this is done or I stand up for myself or I switch my management, I change whatever I'm changing. I now have a knowing that there's this other force, that there's this eye that I'm seeing clearly for myself. I can't see for you or anyone, but I can see clearly for myself. And I let it guide me. Well, this is why I ghosted you because I realized you had that you had that third eye and I couldn't handle it. No, you don't want to ghost me, Conan. Now I'm terrified that I did ghost you. I don't want to ghost you. But it's, you want to ghost me. This is something that I've come to realize at my age and I'm a bit older than you, but I like it now. I just realize, you know, we have this culture that just, you know, glorifies being young and being young was great. But I just feel like things make more sense to me now and I know myself now and I feel like a little bit, that's what you're describing. I can't see I've had that profound a conversion, but I've had a subtle or feeling of, yeah, there's, you know, there's some aches and pains now when I do my weird comedy moves, but I enjoy this period now more than the intensity and I don't know, kind of sometimes maniacal misdirection of 20s, 30s, 40s. This feels, it's a calmer place to be. I describe it by saying I have zero fucks to give anymore about things and what people think or how they feel about the choices I make or what I'm doing or how I'm doing my life, you know, and that is a really empowered place to be able to say, hey, I know you don't care that much about me anyway. So why do I give so much energy to what you're thinking about me or making choices that satisfy you or make you happy? You know, that's a really good place. And I can't say I was always there. I've been the dancing bear and I've been trying to make everybody love me and like me and you know, fit in and it's really that's exhausting when you go through life that way. Yeah. And this profession is, it is a profession and it's about how much of my being liked at this moment versus that other moment versus the next moment and it can get in your head. Yeah. And when you can really not care, like really don't just say you don't care when you can really not care. Really not care. That is like a really powerful place to be. I can't say I have zero fucks to give. I have like three fucks to give. Okay. I want to know what Conan's fucks. I mean, I believe I can have sex three more times in your life and my life. Yeah. I mean, I've been to a doctor and he said I think he got three left and he did measurements and things and he said there's three left here. Yeah. No, it's true. I said, can I get a new cartridge and they're like, no, you are out of ink. So I'm being very careful with how I use them. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I haven't seen Conan a while and I know no why. Yes, you read your aura. Yeah. You read my aura, Mike. What made you come out? I know. I know. What's about crime 101? It's not a world. You made this film with Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo. These are fantastic people. I would think to one of them. Oh my god. Fantastic. Fantastic. Yeah. It just sounds like a really fun movie. It really does sound fun. It's very adult too. I think we sometimes, I've got two kids. I search to find adult themed movies. Yeah. I've had two decades of cartoons and animated movies and it's really nice to be a part of making a real adult. Sort of a throwback of heat and like very... It's kind of got a gritty LA. Gritty LA. It's like a love letter to LA. We never get to shoot in LA. So happy working here. Well, that's cool. It's good to work and come home like normal. That's no small thing to shoot. No shooting. No shooting. In Los Angeles because everybody is now, you know, they're in like whatever. They're in Greenland and they pretend that it's, I mean, they will be once we own it. But you're in, I'm looking into it. You're gonna buy it. We're gonna move our, once we conquer Greenland, I'm moving the podcast studio there. You're gonna love it. Lots to eat. Lots to eat. Not a wide variety, but there's a lot of it. I've been there, you know, I did a show there. I did a show there. I know. I went to Greenland when this, a couple of years ago. The first time. Yeah, the first time. The first time our president was talking about Greenland. I went there to check it out and talk to a real estate agent and walked around and it's so you can see it all on one of our travel shows. But it was a profound experience. I was saying that most, you don't take it for granted because nobody shoots much in Los Angeles anymore. And so to shoot an LA movie about LA and this sounds like a joke, but if someone shoots a movie that's a love letter to LA, these days there's a 90% chance. They are shooting it in the Netherlands. Do you know what I mean? And then they just throw some palm trees in there. So it's amazing that you got to do that. Really got to shoot it here. And it makes all the difference in the movie too. You feel like you're, you know, where you're supposed to be. Yeah. And I got to see my kids every night, which was about to go to France to work. I will not be seeing my kids every night. And that's always it, you know, that's how it's what it's become, you know. Yeah. Can they go with you or it's just too hard for them? It's hard, you know, they're at the age my daughter is about to, but she's 18 next so she's going to college. She's got her own things to do. She's like, no, thank you mom. My son's 12. He'll probably come because his dad's friend, she speaks French. So he likes France. So he'll probably come for a little bit. When my kids turned 18, they said, we never want to see you again. This has been nice. It's been real. Way too many bits every day in the kitchen. My daughter's 22 and my son's 20. Oh wow. So they, they're off in school and doing their own thing and constantly. And how did you feel? I'm dealing with my daughter leaving. How did you feel? Did you? I'm someone who can get very disconnected from how I feel, meaning I'm really good at sublimating things and pushing it down. So my daughter, when she left, because she was the first, and she's like my little girl, and then suddenly she's going off into the world, I had a hard time with it. And then I think I convinced myself that, well, my son, I won't feel my, you know, and I kind of spiraled when he left, because I realized that I had, I was in denial a little bit and then it hit me hard. And when she left, did she leave town? Yeah, they both went away to school. And my agent says they're doing very well. I can't talk to those kids. Impossible. No, they're, it's tough. It's a huge adjustment. I mean, you know, you're going through this, you know, about to have a second child. A daughter coming in a week or so. Oh my God, you're starting. Yeah, I know it's really late. And Sonah has wins. It's my second. Your second, okay. Sonah has twins. They're young. They're like four and a half. I mean, they are four and a half. I'm not, yeah, I don't know why I said it like that. You're a strange person. But that's, that's, you don't think, and then when it happens, it is very surreal. It's very surreal. And then when they call you and say, yeah, how did it happen? Like, it seems like just yesterday, she was this little thing looking at me, like I'm a jelly bean. And now I'm just like, no one they say. Like I'm gonna help them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rockley's good. Good for you. Good for you, but, you know, I know I'm good for her. But it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's hard, it's hard to come to terms with. Like they're, it's very hard. It doesn't make any sense. I, to me, the most surreal thing is when one of them says, okay, I'm going, I'm gonna hop a plane. Hop a plane. Yeah. No, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go grab the, you know, the Delta flight and go flying to another part of the country. Yeah. And I'm gonna then go do my own thing. And I think, well, who's going with you? You know, is your mother going with you? Who will show a tend to you to make sure that you get to the bathroom? You know, and it's, I've just completely lost my mind. Yeah. Well, because it's also just because you turn 18, one day you're 17 and one day you're 18. So how much more do you know? Yeah. Just because you turn 18. Right, right. You're the same. Right, right. So she's gonna be 18 and she's like, well, I'm gonna do all these things I want to do now because I'm 18, but you were just 17 the day before. Right. Right. So just because this little arbitrary click. That's a good point. Now I'm more terrified. I know I'm terrified. It's terrible talking to you. But you passed that part though. I'm passed. I'm passed 21. No, you never passed. It's what this goes back to the very beginning of the conversation. You said, you never stop putting yourself out there. You never stop feeling like I need to grow. You never start stop being a little afraid. That just doesn't stop. It doesn't stop. News and the bad news. And these things don't stop. I think if I get to live a really long time and my kids, I get to see my kids be in their 40s or 50s, I'll still be stunned that they're headed out the door to go do something. And that we're not with them, making sure everything's okay. It's always gonna be the way. Yeah, that doesn't go away. Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. Are you still having like on this movie crime 101, you're working with these fantastic actors? Are you still in it having fun? After everything you've been through, all these successes and everything, you still they're enjoying it in it. I love it. Yeah, that's great. I still do. Sometimes I joke with my friends and think, I go to work for a break. Yeah. Because parenting is hard. It's hard work. When I get to go do a movie, I just have to think about myself. I don't have to think about anybody's clothes, what they're eating, what they're doing, driving to a soccer game, picking them up. My daughter goes to school all the way downtown. It's a trek. It's an hour and a half almost each way. And you do that twice a day. You're looking at it six hours out of your day, just school driving. So when I go to do a movie, it's like, it's just me time. I don't care if it's 16 hour a day, six days a week. I'm just focusing on me and that feels like a break. Do you refine your choosing roles where your character's like taking a lot of bubble baths? LAUGHTER LAUGHTER Bubble bath and chocolates, the movie. I'll do it. It's really not a good script. There's no plot. There's no character development. I'll do it. That's what I would do. It's like Adam Sandler does that. Every movie, it's like, he's in Hawaii. He's had a great resort. Oh, and look, he's having a Sunday. And... LAUGHTER Well, this has been an absolute delight. You've lit up our whole building. Everyone's thrilled you're here. And I adore you. I think you're amazing. You're just such a great, honest, cool person to talk to. And I'm just so happy you could be here today. I'm happy, too. And I legit mean. You have been always one of my very favorites every time I've gotten to come. We have so much fun. We have so much fun. It's been easy. And it hasn't always, you know, you don't always feel that from everybody. So I feel you just as genuinely. Well, I'm crazy about you. So I'm just delighted you're here. Thank you. It's all good. I'm just very happy. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me. You take care. Thank you. I'm going to ghost you again. I will. And if I see something, I'm telling you. LAUGHTER It's currently January, February, beginning of the year. Earlier last year, we never scheduled it. It fell through the cracks, but we were going to do a white elephant Christmas party suggested by Eduardo. And I purchased something. LAUGHTER This is a year ago you purchased something? No, last year in December. And what did we say our price was going to be $30 to $40? Yes, I think. I spent about $100. Oh! We'll say $40. I just couldn't pass it up. And I don't want to over sell it, but I'd like to just bring it. Is it a gift for one of us? It would have been if we did the white elephant. You know what I mean? If I like this thing, can I have it? Well, let's just see. It's like a prop comic. Oh, my God. Oh! Wow. Talk to me. What's happening right now? I don't think I need to say a thing. I think this says it all. Oh! Yeah. Well, if you're watching a video right now, then yes, but let me describe for anyone who's not. You've just put, basically, they've turned a disco ball into a motorcycle helmet. It looks like... It looks like... Yeah. Yeah. I saw this and I just knew that this was the thing and I was just hoping it was in the price range and it wasn't. And then I left and then I went back and got it. So this... And then we canceled it. And I was stuck with this thing. But now I'm kind of glad that you... I love that you... So this is... There's so many things that are perfect about this. You bought this is kind of a gag for a joky thing that then got canceled. It didn't happen. You now have what appears to be a disco ball on your head, but a complete with a strap with a little clicker so that you can strap it on. Or is it... It can't be street legal. Yeah, I think... Because it's... It's starting. Yeah, of course. Anyone behind you with their brights on is going to be killed immediately by lasers. But by lasers. So no, you can't be driving that down the street. You said the store had this. Yeah, it was... Now, it looks like something that you would buy on a site. It doesn't look like something that would exist in a store. No, not only that, but there are two of them. And I seriously consider getting two of them so that when somebody got this and it went crazy in the white elephant, I can pull out a second one and go like, how much, you know? You thought we would all like want it and fight over it and stuff? Oh, no. And then we would pay you like more than market value for it. I was going to make a mint. So... You look stupid. Tell me about the store. Tell me. Sometimes, Sona with... Do you see this thing out with your jacket? Oh my God. Oh, the jacket's too cool. Bitch. Oh, you were that. Matt, talk to us about the store where you bought this. I'm picturing, you know, in the 40 year old version when... Yes. When they go into a store that just sells stuff from eBay. Yeah. And who is it who wants to buy... Jonah Hill, one of those... Wants to buy those high-heeled platform shoes and have a goldfish in them. Yeah. I'm picturing it's that kind of store. It was a vintage store in Santa Barbara on State Street. Vintage? Yeah. So people were legit long ago. LAUGHTER Hey, man, I'm disco faunzy. This is good to remember that people had terrible ideas. No, this is 40 years ago. Because someone's making these and there's, you know, like a couple of them. It's new. So I mean, make an offer. Make an offer. Yeah. Okay. I'll pay you not to have it. My offer is you can work somewhere else if you like. That's the offer I have for you. You know what's nice? You know, you're a dad and soon to have two kids. They might like it when dad wears that. Now my daughter responded just the same way you guys did. She lost respect for you a little bit. She bad zero. Did she say zero already? Did she say, how old is she now? Four. She's four and she said, you know, it's trying to be meta and arch, but it's a little too much. And a little too self-consciously tweed and you're like, wow. You said in a second what Conan's been trying to tell me for seven years. So you didn't buy two. No. Okay. If you had another one and you put one on Sona too and you went outside with her sunlight and you aimed your helmets at each other, you might both go back in time. You know, or you might freaky Friday just watch bodies. Yeah. No, I know you mean. Which bodies. That would just be weird. It's just absurd. I'm so I'm kind of glad we didn't do white elephant. Because you could have ended up with this. Yeah. And a lot of white elephants, it was not a thing in my culture growing up. It feels like it's something that's more in life. British. British, I think it's, is that right? I have no, I did white elephants with my family. Yeah. My family now does them in lieu of individual gifts because it's just too big. It'd take too long. So we just do a big white elephant. But also I can get really mean. Right. It can. Yeah, I would think we should do it this coming year because I imagine you'd get pretty ruthless. Yeah. No, what are you talking about? I'm on time. You know. You know what I could do is even if I lose out in the game when the segment's over, I could just say, and now I want all of the gifts. And you'd have to do it. You'd have to give them to you? Of course you do. Why? A ruthless dictator here. Joke. Yeah. I'm the Maduro of podcasts. What do you think I'm so, I'm always hiding. Any minute now they're going to come take me away. Hey, Dardo, is there any way to like dim the lights? Should I just get a spot on this baby? I know I didn't get to use my phone. Just start hitting buttons over there, Adam. And then watch what it does to the room and then see what you want to try to hit that. Will that turn all the lights off? It'll turn off all the lights. That's okay because soon as God is it worth doing putting this much effort into it? Oh, yes. Yeah, this is big. This is so, and it does say that about everything. Someday when they're some day they'll be doing CPR on me and so on. I'll be saying, do we really need to put this much effort? They're doing CPR. Some of my best jokes happen in the dark. All right. Now, now I'll entertain offers. Okay. That was spooky. It did feel like I was in a strip club that closed and I'm still there. And I'm there for the food. So there's no ladies anymore and they're not even serving drinks but I just can't get enough of that beef oroni. Hi, I'm Roscoe. I'm the lighting designer and stripper all the other one. Oh my God. You know what? I think that's one of those gifts that's going to pay dividends. You know, it is. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Even I doubt that. No. I just know not to pick your gift next. I know. I know. Well, you don't know who's gifted. You don't know. We used to do white elephants and one of my friends forgot a gift. So he went back to his car and got a Taco Bell sauce packets. I would rather have the Taco Bell sauce packets than that disco ball helmet. And you'd say that even if you were at a Taco Bell. Yeah. And there was just and you're surrounded. You're just like bins of them. There's just a bins of them. And still you're like, you can have more of these free things that surround you or that disco ball helmet. Yeah. No, I like white elephant though. It's fun. We should do it next year. Okay. We'll do it. Yeah. We'll do it. And will you shop or will you just have David go find yourself? I like like I live in some kind of bubble. Once COVID's over and stores reopen. Sure David will show me where these quote stores are. And I will go to one and talk to a purveyor. All right. Well listen, all I ask is that you wear that on the ride home and that you lower your windows as you head into the pasta. I'm running on a motorcycle. No need. No, that's just girl ball. That's definitely a Vespa. You need to be on a Vespa for that. All right. Peace out. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Mac Gourley. Produced by me, Mac Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Liao. Themesong by the white stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Britt Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are down the road.