Week 20 (Days 134-140): Why does unconfessed sin feel exhausting?

Hey Bible readers! Welcome to TBR Deep Dive. I'm Kirsten McCloskey and I'm Emma Daughter. I was about to say my name and you just jumped in there but hey it works! Okay love that! Let's keep it going! We really, we really switched it up today. You, you're keeping me on my toes a little bit I gotta be honest but that's okay I got the first question. Sound good? I love it yeah that's a wild way to start and I'm into it. Let's do it. Okay great I'm loving it. The first question comes from day 134 psalm 32 verses 1 and 2 and verse 5 which I'll read for us. Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity and in whose spirit there is no deceit. Jumping down to verse 5, I acknowledged my sin to you and I did not cover my iniquity. I said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. So here's the question. Is there a difference between transgression, sin, iniquity and deceit? Four terms. Why does the Psalm seem to you so many different words for the same thing? Yeah that's a good question. I agree. So there's definitely some nuances to each of these words and differences that's why they're being translated these different ways and so they're really all kind of in this category of sin but they have some of these unique different ways of kind of capturing what they're talking about. So what I think let's do is let's start out by defining each of them so we can see how they're different and then we'll kind of talk some more about it. So let's start with transgression. So transgression refers to the relational dynamic between people when sin occurs. So it's about violating trust. So something along the lines of like a betrayal in a relationship and so this can be between people or it can be between people and God. So obviously that's what it's talking about in this Psalm, between people and God. So when the Israelites worship other gods for instance instead of Yahweh they're transgressing because they're violating the relationship and the trust between God and themselves. So this word can also refer to rebelling against God and his authority. It shows willful disobedience against God as the lawgiver. That's good. Next up how about we do deceit? Yeah. Deceit is more about hiding, covering or even spinning the truth. Okay. It's not just doing wrong. It's pretending you didn't do anything wrong. So doing wrong and then trying to cover it up or hide it. It's sin plus dishonesty about the sin. That's deceit. That's what I got. It's that simple. Pretty straightforward. Yes, good. I keep saying I love that. I shouldn't say I love that. You love to see. What I loved was your very brief, concise and excellent definition of it. Thank you. All right. All the basketball fans out there just ate that up. Everyone else is like, why is she going to say? Ask who would know about that? A basketball fan or a Gen Z-er? Maybe. Or is this strictly a sports thing? Just hit us with, you know, iniquity. Is that next? All right. Let's do iniquity next. So iniquity again under this category of sin but there's a subtle difference in this word. So the Hebrew word Avon that we translate as iniquity is about distortion. So it's specifically distorting what's good. So in Lamentations 3.9, this word is used to describe a crooked path. And in Psalm 386, it's used to describe a person's back that is bent over or malformed in some way. So it's used to describe sins like adultery or murder. These iniquities distort the beauty of marriage or life. And so they lead to suffering, broken relationships and all sorts of other problems. So that is more about that distortion of the good. And then sin is kind of the overarching category. So that's the core idea there is missing the mark. So if you think about shooting a bow and arrow at a target, I was a camp counselor back in the day. So I taught this and you're teaching kids, hey, you're aiming for that circle. But when they're first learning, they all totally miss the target. That's the idea of sin. It is aiming at God's design and falling incredibly short. You miss the mark. You're not even, forget the bullseye. You're not even close to the target. It can be actions, thoughts, motives. It's the broadest category word of those we're talking through. So just think not living up to God's holy standard. It's not just the things that we do wrong. It's all the ways we fall short of God's standard. Yeah, that's helpful. That's helpful. And I think it's really, it is helpful to know these words and understand these distinctions because they bring clarity to what we're talking about. And the nuance is important because they're under that broad category of sin. But we get the bigger picture, I think, sometimes of these other ways that sin is so detrimental because it is willful rebellion. It is the distortion of what's good. It violates trust between individuals. And so, yeah, I think it's good to kind of unpack those a little bit. Yeah. I think Psalm 32 is huge because David is basically saying freedom didn't come when I was sinless. Freedom came when I was honest. Yes. Right. Because it's not possible to be sinless. Yeah. That's not going to be the reality. And sin isn't one dimensional. Like this conversation is like looking at a diamond from a variety of angles. It's using multiple words to show the depth of human brokenness, the totality of what God forgives, and the emotional and relational and moral damages sin can cause. But yet, God loves us to spider sin, amen, which is crazy. Amen. And a gift. Yeah. Amen. All right. Let's go on to the next question. This comes from day 134 from Psalm 32, 3 to 4. Let me go ahead and read that. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night, your hand was heavy upon me. My strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. The question is, why does David describe unconvested sin as physically draining? I'm scared to confess, but I'm also exhausted by my sin. Help. Yeah. I want to answer the question, but first, I want the person asking to hear this part. You're not weird for feeling scared. You're not the only person who has felt exhausted carrying sin in secret. And my church, we often say a heart that's well as a heart that tells. And the idea is that the healthiest Christians, the healthiest followers of Jesus, aren't perfect. They're actually followers of Jesus who are honest about their imperfections, honest about their brokenness, because healthy followers of Jesus bring their sin into the light. And when we choose not to, we're making an unhealthy choice. And when sin's hidden, when we make that unhealthy choice, a few things happen. There's an internal war kind of raging inside because you're holding two realities, like who I'm presenting to those on the outside. And what I know is true on the inside. I've made a bad choice that I'm concealing. And that takes constant energy. I know. That's what I was thinking about as I'm like, why does this happen? And it's, I think it's because we've got that stress, because we know that we've done something wrong or we're guilty or we're ashamed. And the exhaustion comes from that inner conflict. It's that wrestling place. Like, we know this isn't right. We know something's off. But I think it's our pride that keeps us from running to God, the one who can help us, help us or bringing it into the light, like what you're saying. Yeah, totally. Because it's our pride that keeps us from sharing because maybe we're idolizing our appearance or we're idolizing our reputation or we're idolizing whatever it is. But then we feel shame because we know that whatever we're presenting isn't the truth. And there's science that shows that secrecy and shame keep your nervous system in this like low grade alarm mode. So physically, when you're carrying a secret that's burdensome or the feelings of shame, your body internalizes that. So it can be fatigue or tension or brain fog or even just tiredness, like a physical heaviness. It's like when you're stressed and you get a knot in your shoulder, you know, like our bodies carry our feelings. And so secrecy, lying, shame, all of those have consequences. This person asking the question said, I'm scared to confess, but I'm also exhausted by this reality. And that is what David is alluding to because the fear says, if this comes out, I will be rejected or I will have a consequence. But God says, if this comes out, you will be free. He doesn't say there won't be a consequence, but there will be a freedom that is healthy to experience. And Psalm 32.5, relief didn't come when David fixed himself. It came when he stopped hiding. Amen. Which is like our tendency is to try to fix ourselves. Yeah, clean it up. Yeah, clean it up. And then I can, you know, or clean it up and then go to your friend, go to your pastor, whoever you need to kind of confess to. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So I think confession feels scary because it feels like losing control, but confession can actually be where we start to get our lives back when we've been hiding. And I would add a disclaimer, you don't have to confess everything to everyone. This isn't, stand on the street corner and, you know, share your diva's darkest sin with the whole world. But carrying everything alone will crush you. So we confess to our God who is safe and then to safe people. James says, if we confess our sins to one another and pray for each other, we will be healed. So the question is, do you want to be healed? Like, do you want to find freedom? Do you want to keep feeling this exhausted? Do you want to get well? And if so, confess to God and then to entrust it to the follower of Jesus, a friend. Yeah. And do you feel like when you're saying, do you think you need to confess always to another person as well as to God? Always. I don't know. I feel like this question is a trap. No, no, no. I mean, well, so here's what I, I wouldn't want to clarify for someone out there who's thinking, I've never said this before. Yeah. So I wouldn't want to say yes, because someone listening could hear that yes and think, okay, every time I have a mean thought, every time I do something, I need to confess and that person could get really paranoid that they're going to miss a moment of confession. That's not the heart or the idea. The principle is what is the conviction I'm experiencing in my heart. And if I have a mean thought often that just looks like, Lord, help me, please forgive me, I should not have thought that. It doesn't always mean that I'm giving you a report. Yeah. How do mean thought again, right? But there's a difference between confessing to the Lord and feeling released and confessing to the Lord and feeling the conviction that I should go bring this into the light. I should go tell someone else. And then out of fear or discomfort choosing not to. I think that's where the individual just has to be honest about the spirit's conviction in their heart. Is this one I need to tell and I'm avoiding telling or am I being a little obsessive? Yep. I think that's such a good distinction. My heart can confess. Yeah. Thank you for explaining that. I think that's really helpful for people. So I was thinking about the picture in this Psalm of actually where we see God's grace. So David is describing God's hand as heavy on him, but that's actually such a good thing. God never wants us to stay stuck in sin. God is gracious towards us in bringing that sin to our attention and convicting us and having us feel that weight so that we can bring it into the light either with God himself or with God and then with another person. So I think when we stop feeling the effects of sin, if we stop feeling that weight, that's actually a scary place to be. So the conviction is God's grace to us being like we don't need to live like this anymore. There is freedom. There is that comfort. We got to keep moving, but we're going to stay in the Psalms. Perfect. We're not changing topics entirely. This one comes from day 134 Psalm 8611, which is one of my favorite Psalms. Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth, unite my heart to fear your name. Some translations read, give me an undivided heart. So I imagine the recap didn't ask you this question, maybe it was reading NIV or something like that, but they said, why does David ask for a quote, undivided heart? If I'm understanding correctly, I think that's something I want too. Yes. We do want that. We do want that. So David asks for an undivided or a pure heart towards the Lord, because he actually knows that we don't have that. That's not a consistent. David was a human just like us. He felt the temptation towards sin that we all experience. He felt that pull of pride, the seduction of selfishness. These are things that we are all, we're all familiar with that. And so our sinful hearts actually struggle to be fully devoted to God. We struggle to turn our hearts totally towards God. And so that's why David is asking God for this, because he's like, this is clearly something that I need, that I want to be able to follow you, but it's something that I don't have kind of at my disposal. We need God's help for this. So I think really with a person asking, I think that's something I want too. It's like, yes, this is something that really we want to be kind of constantly seeking from the Lord. Give me this pure, undivided, fully devoted, committed heart to follow you God, to love your ways, to love who you are. Because the goal is for our hearts to be less and less divided and less and less pulled away from God's swayed by our own sin. And I think really the more we know God, the more we trust him and obey him, seek him, the more we love him, the more that then we're going to have that devoted heart and we're going to reject our selfish, sinful, fleshly desires that cause that division. Yeah. An undivided heart means a heart that is not split between desiring God and other ruling loves powers, authority. So it's not part obedience and part resistance. I'm sort of in, but I'm also sort of out. It's not Sunday faith, but on weekdays I do whatever I want. Sundays I go to church, but on the weekdays I do whatever. It's a heart that says, I want God most. I'm not striving after my own perfection, but I have a singleness of direction. I am chasing after Jesus. It's a holistic life and faith with my heart, soul, mind and strength. It's with everything in me, I'm chasing after Jesus, the singular focus. And David probably asked, I mean, like we don't know why David did a lot of things, but I think he probably asked for this undivided heart because he knows the human heart drifts. Like all of us can love God and still want control or approval or comfort or success or relationships. And sometimes we want those things more than we want God himself, if we're really honest. So the divided heart sounds like, God, I trust you unless this costs me or God, God, I'll obey you unless I'm really scared. Yeah. Or unless you ask me to do something I don't actually really want to do. God, I love you, but I need this to feel okay, or I need to feel better about this. Whereas the undivided heart says, you are my anchor even when everything else is shifting. Scary, uncomfortable, whatever it is. But an undivided heart is also not a heart that says, I never struggle. Yeah, it's a heart that says, when I struggle, I'll still choose to run toward God rather than away from him. I think of in Mark 9, 24, the prayer, I believe, help my unbelief. For Lord, forgive me of my unbelief. It's recognizing I'm falling short, but I still want to want what's best. So help me one shoe more. That's the prayer. In one episode of TBR, Terri Lee quotes this anonymous poem that I think describes this idea well. It says, two natures beat within my breast. The one is foul, the one is blessed. The one I love, the one I hate, and the one I feed will dominate. It's very catchy. But reading that poem, it reminded me in Romans 7 where Paul says, reading from the NLT, Romans 7 verse 18, and I know that nothing good lives in me. That is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don't want to do, I'm not really the one doing wrong. It's sin living within me. I've discovered this principle of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. Isn't that relatable? He says, I love God's law with all my heart, but there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am. Who will free me from this life that's dominated by sin and death? Thank God. The answer is in Jesus Christ, our Lord. So you see how it is. In my mind, I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature, I sin. And so the idea of an undivided heart is what Paul is describing. It's desiring God's best, even though we sin, even though we fall short. And what we do when we fall short or where we turn says a lot about the condition of our heart. Yeah. Well, and I think that's such a good section of verses to talk about because it's going to be a battle. That was kind of the thing that I wanted to maybe leave people with is that this is not just like, oh, God gave me an undivided heart and I'm set. This is a pretty consistent battle that we're going to be in because we always are going to have this struggle with sin on this side of eternity. We are going to be more quick to repent the more we mature and grow in our Christlikeness. We are going to be more quick to love instead of hate. We're going to be more quick to walk in humility instead of pride, but there's still going to be those times where that struggle is going to be real and that that temptation is going to come and we're going to have an issue. But it's, I think it's just the encouragement of like David prayed this and let him be an example to us of the prayer that we can pray and the way that we want to say, God, help me today to be fully devoted to you and ask God to give you that undivided heart today and then the next day and then the next day and in the moment when you need it. This is something that I think could be really transformative to add in to your prayer life of like, yeah, this is something I think about a lot. Yeah. I even was thinking in Romans, which we're not reading Romans this week, but in Romans in the next chapter, Paul goes on to talk about the role of the spirit. Yes. Right. And this is also something we do dependently. So in my own, in Amazon strength, if Emma's like, okay, I need to have an undivided heart. Yeah. And then when I start to drift, I'm like, bad Emma, no, like, yeah, like being, being harsh toward myself, I'm missing out on the joy of abiding with Jesus and resting in a spirit and asking the spirit to empower me to change my motives and desires or actions or thoughts or whatever it is. So it's not about like self-help or adding that prayer to your routine to just add another, okay, I did this good thing. Yeah, check it off because it's not behavior modification. It's not. That is not what an undivided heart is because it's your heart. It's it's your desires. It's your desires. It's your will. It's all of that. Yeah. So I think that's a really good point. Yeah. Yeah. The spirit changes our hearts, not us, not Emma. Amen. The next question, interestingly, is about obedience. So let's kind of continue in this line of thinking. Yeah. Comes from day 138 from Psalm 40 verse 6, which reads, sacrifice and offering you have not delighted, but you have given me an open ear. Burnt offering and sin offering you have not required. So the question's very astute. Why does David say God doesn't ultimately desire sacrifice but obedience? I thought it was obedient for people in the Old Testament to make sacrifices. Yes. Yeah. It definitely, sacrifices were part of the law. So when the people of Israel were bringing their sacrifices to God, that was definitely obedient on their part. I think what we're seeing here is that God's making the point that he cares more about the heart posture of the person, their undivided heart, that purity of heart towards him, then the ritual of the sacrifice itself. Because imagine that someone comes to the temple to sacrifice, but they're not doing it because they actually recognize their sin and want to change and are in our repentant. They're not sacrificing because they love God and they want to honor and serve him. Their heart is actually not repentant. Their heart would be divided like what we were talking about before. They're just sacrificing because it's a ritual and they're supposed to sacrifice, but their heart is far from God. Yeah. God never wanted empty religious acts without the heart level obedience. Exactly. Yeah. So he wanted his people to obey him and avoid sin rather than sin all they wanted and just make up for it by sacrificing. That's not true obedience. That's not a heart that is what God is inviting us into. Yeah. God gave his people actually the gift of the sacrificial system so that they could experience restoration after sinning, but it was never meant to be some sort of license to sin because there was a way they could pay for it. Yeah. The sacrifices were kind of like an expression of repentance or a sign of trust in God and part of their relationship with God. So I think about how God's character doesn't change. Right? We say that all the time, but that means that he's always been a relational God. So the sacrificial system was part of that relationship, but people started to think, hey, I can live however I want and then I'll just bring an animal. Right. And God's like, you're missing it. You're missing the point. That's not the point. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I was thinking about that relationship piece too. He wants his people to listen to his voice and choose and desire what he says is good. This is the obedience that brings blessing to God's heart. And it's, I mean, it's the same for us. Like we don't live under the sacrificial system. Right. Good clarification. Yeah, exactly. But I think this is a really good heart check for us where like, do I desire to live a holy life that's pleasing to God, a life that's marked by obedience and love and sacrifice, not in the same way the Israelites were doing it, but sacrifice nonetheless. Or am I desiring my own way somewhere else and thinking, oh, I'll just go to church on Sunday and like, that'll kind of make up for it. I think we really, that's not a good place to be if that's kind of our mindset or where our hearts are at. Yeah. I think seeing obedience is greater than sacrifice in this setting or this context means that God is after their hearts and their lives, not just their religious behavior. Right. And we see this theme really clearly when we compare Saul and David. So Saul makes sacrifices, but continuously disobeys, which leads to him being rejected as the king. Right. David, since he disobeys, but then repents, there's a genuine heart response to that sin. And he's restored, or I should say a positive heart response. He does the right thing by repenting and then he's restored. And I think it's just good to remember God never wanted people who are simply good at religion, good at religious behaviors. 100%. He wanted people who were surrendered to him. Yeah. Which is, and I think an underlying principle here that does apply to us today. So while we're not making sacrifices, we do have religious systems. Do you go to church or to Sunday school or to Bible study or to life group, community group, whatever, and those are good things. Yeah. Those are all very positive things. Yes. But the point isn't just choosing the good behaviors to say, I did the good things. It's out of my love for Jesus and desire to do it. He says his best. I'm engaging in those activities, but not just to puff myself up, to grow, to be strengthened, to be admonished, to be encouraged, held accountable, whatever, and then live on mission so more people can experience this good God I've experienced. But if it just stops with my religious behaviors, I'm totally missing the point. Yep. That's great. That's very good, Emma. Thank you. That's all I got. That's perfect. That's perfect. Let's go to the next question. Alrighty. Okay. Day 137 is where this question is coming from. Second Samuel 16 to 17 are our references. And it's really more of a general question, kind of covering some of those chapters. So the question is, I'm having trouble keeping these names straight and wondering if these are good guys or bad guys, good guys in quotes, bad guys in quotes. I love it. Who are Ziba, Shimei, Shimei? How will I say that? Shimei. I'm going to go with Shimei. Who are Ziba, Shimei, Ahethuffle, and Hushai? That was great. Those were harder for me than... Sometimes I'm good at... We've never been more relatable to our listeners. You want me to start with Ziba? Yeah. Okay. You're doing Ziba. Ziba. I like it. You did Ziba? I know, but this is good. Can be pronounced either way. Ziba Ziba. I'm like, what's another word that is like consonant vowel, consonant A? There's no other word in the English language that looks like that. Really? Not kidding. I don't know. Tell us about him. All right. Ziba Ziba. Ziba Ziba, second Samuel 16, one through four. He is Mephibosheth's servant. So remember Mephibosheth was Saul's grandson, slash Jonathan's son. He had the limp, his legs didn't work properly. And at first glance, it looks like he's a helpful guy. He brings David's supplies while David's fleeing Absalom. But he's got some questionable character. So he tells David that Mephibosheth stayed in Jerusalem in an attempt to get Saul's kingdom back. So he's kind of slandering. He's slandering Mephibosheth really. He's saying something that's actually not true at all. And then later in second Samuel 19, it becomes clear that that story is messy and probably not true. That Mephibosheth didn't have these evil desires. So what we can learn from him is that sometimes people serve because it benefits themselves. So Ziba on the outside looks like he's doing all the right things, but over time his actions start to indicate he's not loyal to David and maybe not even loyal to God, which is I think a good lesson. If I'm David and I'm leading a guy like this, that's why it's important we ask God for discernment. Because on the surface, it looks like he's being helpful, but only God can see the heart. And if I'm David, I'm not going to realize initially that this guy is being sneaky. That's Ziba Ziba. Ziba Ziba. Zibra. Just kidding, not Zibra. Okay, Shimei. I like Shimei. Shimei was a Benjamite from Saul's family. And I feel like actually he's maybe a little tough to categorize. So let me walk through. I'd agree with that. Yeah, let me walk through his story a little bit and then you'll kind of see what I mean. So when David was fleeing Jerusalem after Absalom tried to take over, Shimei cursed David and he threw stones at him. Which does seem negative. It does seem like a bad guy move. So we got one in the con category. Shimei called David a murderer and he accused him of being responsible for the downfall of Saul's household. So some more bad guy moves. Right, he's in Saul's family. So, but then we see even though David's men actually wanted to retaliate against Shimei, David spared him. So at this point we're probably thinking, okay, he's like definitely obviously in the bad category. You've started to convince me. Right. Okay. So then now we'll see if we can swing you back. Okay. I don't care which category Shimei is in. But after Absalom is then defeated, David returns to Jerusalem and Shimei falls down before David and he admits he's wrong. And he asks David for mercy and forgiveness. And David once again let Shimei live, gives him that mercy and forgiveness. So now does this mean that is Shimei now a good, you know, a good guy is he loyal to David? That's where I think it's just a little tough to know because he could have, he did mess up. Right. He messed up and he could have had a totally true moment of like, I, that was so wrong. I can't believe I did that and came back and like really had to repent in art or he also could have just been protecting himself from death. So I'm going to put him, if you've got bad guy, good guy, relatable guy. I'm putting him in relatable guy because he messes up. Yeah. But he asks for forgiveness. He owns it. Yeah. We all fall short of the glory of God. Perfect. Right. There we go. Relatable. So did he. Okay. Good. A hit the fell. Oh, good. That's just not how you pronounced it, but that's what I'm going to go with. A hit the fell. Yeah. Second Samuel 15 through 17. Yep. He was David's top advisor. Okay. So think elite strategist. Scripture basically says that his counsel was treated like hearing from God, which is really interesting, but that's, basically what he thought was held very highly. Okay. He was, he was trusted. Unfortunately though, he switches sides and supports Absalom's rebellion. Okay. And his advice then becomes very dangerous to David. Okay. He's militarily brilliant, but he doesn't have David's best interests at heart. And then when his advice isn't followed, he did take his own life. So what can we learn from him? Well, you could be incredibly wise and good at your job. He was a great military advisor, but was spiritually off course. Right. So yeah, brilliance and knowledge is not the same thing as faithfulness and wisdom. Yep. This guy knew a lot of stuff. He had a great reputation, but his heart was decaying on the inside. Yeah. And he wasn't aligned with the person that God had chosen to be king. No, he wasn't. Yep. Okay. Hushai is our last guy and he's a loyal friend and advisor to David. So he stays loyal to David. So he is a good guy. Two thumbs up. That's what I'm putting in that category. Two thumbs up. Yeah. He's called Hushai the Archite, which probably refers to his clan name, Archey, which was near Bethel. And so when Absalom tries to overthrow David, Hushai mourns with ripped clothes. He puts ashes on his head. This helps David know and trust that Hushai isn't defecting to serve Absalom. So David actually then sends him back to Jerusalem to be a spy on his behalf. And I think that's where the story can sometimes get confusing. Yes. Is you're like, wait, but then he goes back to Absalom, but he's, he is loyal to David. He's doing that out of his loyalty to David. So Hushai is supposed to disrupt and spoil the council of, ah, hit the bell. Thank you. So when we see him in Jerusalem, he is working as this double agent. Absalom thinks he's there to support him, but really he's helping David. So he's on David's team. And the cool thing is that Hushai's council to Absalom actually is divinely inspired. So in 2 Samuel 17, 14, it says, Absalom and all the men of Israel said, the council of Hushai the Archite is better than the council of Ahithophel. Ahithophel. You got it. Thank you. For the Lord had ordained to defeat the good council of Ahithophel, so that the Lord might bring harm upon Absalom. It's good. Yeah. So he was divinely inspired. He remains loyal to David. A good guy. A good guy. He's a good guy. Let's, let's close with a fun fact or at least a little known fact about one of these guys. Oh, okay. Yeah. So Shimei, Shimei, Shimei, the one who cursed David. Yep. Remember how David promised Shimei that he wouldn't kill him? Yes. Well, on David's deathbed in his final words to Solomon, he ordered Solomon to kill Shimei. Oh, okay. So he, he issues a death warrant against a guy he promised to pardon, which is interesting. Here's the quote from David as he's talking to Solomon in 1 Kings 2, 8 and 9. And there is also with you Shimei, the son of Gura, the Benjaminite from Bahurim, who cursed me with a grievous curse on the day when I went to Mahaneim. But when he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the Lord saying, I will not put you to death with the sword. That's the key line. David said, I will not put you to death with the sword. Now therefore, David says to Solomon, do not hold him guiltless for you are a wise man. You will know what you ought to do to him and you shall bring his gray head down with blood to shield. So now in this instance, David seems to be the one whose words can't be trusted because it's feeling, it does feel a little sneaky. David said, I won't do it. Shimei, I'm not going to kill you. I'm not going to take you out. But then he's like Solomon, you're going to take him out. It's not going to be me, but it's you. And David's still an acting agent in this whole arrangement. So in short, these stories are filled with a lot of people who are both making choices that look like good guys and making choices that look like bad guys. Everybody's a mixed bag. And if we're honest, that probably describes all of us. Because they're relatable that we were talking about before. All of us have probably played both signs of the same coin at some point. And one instance, we've said this, but in another, we've said that. And in Mark 10, 18, Jesus said, no one is good, but God alone. And the Psalms and Romans, they both tell us that there is none righteous, no, not one. So the spoiler alert essentially is, hey, we're all the bad guys. Like all of us fall short. But that's why we need Jesus. He lived the perfect holy life, traded himself, his perfect life for our sinfulness, so that when he died on the cross and rose again, when we believe in him, his righteousness can be assigned to us. And then the Father views us through the finished work of Jesus on the cross. We're judged by his goodness, not by our own goodness or badness. And praise God. What a relief that is that though, yes, we fall short, like every single person in this story, we're not going to stand before God and be judged on the basis of our sin. He's going to look at us and see the imputed righteousness of Christ, the finished work of Christ put on us, though we don't deserve it. Yeah, awesome. A gift. So good. It's all I got. We're out of time. I love it. Thanks, Emma. Thanks, Kirsten. Thanks for taking a deep dive with us this week. We will see you again next week as we continue to read and understand and love the Bible and the God who wrote it.