Trump Demands Greenland at Davos & Literally Trashes First-Year “Accomplishments” | Simu Liu

You're listening to Comedy Central. Now. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central, it's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Josh Johnson. Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Josh Johnson. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Trump thinks all North Atlantic islands look the same. Office supplies are on the terror watch list, and Eric Adams keeps finding new ways to go to jail. So, let's get into the headlines. Yesterday marked one year since Trump's inauguration. That's like one and a half pups ago. R.I.P. to a real one. I will find your killer. So, Trump decided to crash the White House press briefing to tout his accomplishments, but also to do some prop comedy. Here's the book on accomplishments. And this is something... Oh, I'm glad my finger wasn't in that suckered. That could have done some damage, but you know what? I wouldn't have shown the pain. And I would have acted like nothing happened as my finger fell off. That was nasty. I think somebody did that. Wait, wait, wait. First of all, is finger falling off something you think could happen to you? Is that on the menu? Like, I thought you had the best health report of all time. Now, you're telling me fingers are falling off like it's autumn? Now, you might think this is just a stack of blank papers, or maybe if you're feeling generous, pictures of boobs. But this file was actually filled with Trump's accomplishments, which is why Trump treated it with the respect, care, and pride it deserved. But look at this. These are all... each line is something that we did. Nobody did that before. And it's big stuff, too. Look, we have the hottest country in the world. Wow, okay. Turns out Trump hates reading more than he loves bragging. But look, whether you love what Trump's done the past year or hate it, he has been busy. Let's hear about some of these incredible accomplishments. Notorious crackhead? That may seem harsh, but name another famous crackhead from the last five years. I'll wait. To be fair, the bar on crackhead notoriety is pretty low. Most people don't know the names of too many crackheads. Hell, most crackheads I know don't even know their own names. But look, Donald Trump is not about the past. This man is about America's future. Bringing one crackhead to justice may have been Trump's biggest first year accomplishment. He's been very clear about what his second year biggest accomplishment is going to be. We need Greenland. All we're asking for is to get Greenland including right title and ownership. We're talking about acquiring, not leasing, not having a short term. We're talking about acquiring. You need ownership. You really need title, as they say, the real safest. You heard the man. We need Greenland. We need it like, well, like Hunter Biden needs crack, alright? We're notorious Greenland heads. And that's the type of dude he is. If Trump wants something, he gets it. It's like if you went out to a bar with your friend and you saw a gorgeous woman across the bar and then he turned to you and said, I'm going home with her tonight. You may need to pay the tab because your boy's about to smash. That's just the kind of confidence Donald Trump has. And that's why today he flew to Davos to explain to Europe why America should own Greenland. No nation or group of nations is in any position to be able to secure Greenland other than the United States. It's the United States alone that can protect this giant mass of land, this giant piece of ice, develop it and improve it and make it so that it's good for Europe and safe for Europe and good for us. That's right. It's huge, undeveloped and a strategic location. It's like if your grandma had a Manhattan apartment she bought in 1950. Once she dies in it, you're going to push her down the trash chute and live like a king. It all sounds great, but I do have one problem. We already have a treaty with Denmark that lets us build as many military bases in Greenland as necessary. I don't know why we need to own Greenland to defend it. You need the ownership to defend it. You can't defend it on a lease. Number one, legally it's not defensible that way totally. And number two, psychologically, who the hell wants to defend a license agreement or a lease? I guess I get what he means because you do care less about things when they're not yours. Like a parent will do anything to protect their kids, but if I'm babysitting... You know what I mean? I'll give it a good college try, but at the end of the day he don't look like me. But look, it really doesn't matter why Trump wants something. The point is he wants Greenland. And you can tell because his focus is 100% on Greenland. The president referred to Greenland as Iceland. I'm helping NATO and until the last few days when I told them about Iceland, they loved me. Okay, anyone can slip up. Alright, obviously he doesn't mean Iceland. He's not going to make that mistake three times in his many sentences. They're not there for us on Iceland, that I can tell you. I mean, our stock market took the first dip yesterday because of Iceland. So Iceland's already cost us a lot of money. I'm just glad we got rid of the last guy whose brain didn't work. But you know what? It doesn't matter what he said because when the man wants something, he gets it. We are following even more breaking news. President Trump now says he has reached a, quote, framework deal on Greenland. What did I just say? Alright, that crazy finger losing son of a bitch did it again. He got himself a deal and you know that deal includes owning Greenland. Does it still include the United States having ownership of Greenland like you've said you wanted? Wait a minute, that doesn't sound good. That's not the uh of ownership. You at least got a deal, right? Trump, tell me you got a deal. Well, we have a concept of a deal. Concepts of a deal? You flew all the way to Davos for concepts of a deal? This is so sad. Remember that friend at the bar who went to approach the beautiful woman? This is like if he just walked back up and you're like, okay, well, what did she say? And he's like, oh, her? No, no, uh, she a ghost. Well, did you at least get her digits? I got concepts of digits. I know there's a seven in there somewhere. You know what? This is all my bad for thinking Trump's word is worth his weight in gold because it's definitely not gold. It's more like whatever material they made that Titan submersible out of. What was that? Graham crackers or something? But maybe what Europe did here is a lesson for the rest of us because Trump bars into Davos like I want to own Greenland and Europe just said no. And in just six hours they worked him down from owning Greenland to concepts of a deal. So maybe saying no is something more of us in America might want to try instead of complying in advance college presidents, law firms, media outlets, whoever keeps giving Trump that tacky gold shit to put on his walls. Just tell that man no. In the meantime, good on Denmark for standing its ground. You did it. Although if he changes mind, you might want to bulk up your defenses with some of those binder clips just to be safe. For more on Trump's campaign for Greenland, let's go to our very own Jordan Klepper. Jordan, where are you? Josh, I'm embedded with the American invasion force. President Trump said he wants Iceland, so we're heading to Iceland. Remember boys, don't fire until you see the biorgs of their eyes. No, no, no, Jordan, the president wants Greenland. I think he just misspoke. No, no, no, no, no, no. Trump never makes mistakes. He has never been sharper. He may be 79 but I assure you he has the mental capacity of an 8 year old. Yes, sir. Yes. Sir. That is a fact. If President Trump said Iceland, he definitely meant Iceland. What's that? Scotland. We're landing. We're going to Scotland now. What? Why Scotland? It's definitely not because Trump was looking at a map of Greenland while getting a text from Scott Bayhawk. That's what you're suggesting. That sounds like exactly what happened. I'll tell you what is happening. Our firm brain president has decided we are invading Scotland, and that's that. What's that? Legoland. We're going... to Legoland now. Legoland? No, you're stupid. I didn't say that. Okay, but you thought it. Let me guess, President Trump was thinking of Greenland, but then he saw Barron's Lego Death Star and wanted it? No, no, you communist. It was Eric's Duplos. It helped with his fine motor skills. Regardless, Legoland is toast. We're already pre-bombing it, but they can rebuild it if they want very easily, actually. Wouldn't it be easier to admit that Trump's losing a step rather than twisting ourselves into World War III? Yeah, you know what, Josh? You know, maybe you're right. Maybe we should pause and carefully consider... Really? Neverland? Really? All right. Neverland. We're doing a surprise attack on Neverland now. Neverland is not a real place. Yeah, if you don't believe, sure, but... But if you do, like Trump does, you'll be able to storm the beaches and conquer it for America. I can't believe I'm even asking this, but what would we even go there for? I don't know, Josh. Maybe... maybe Trump is looking for a replacement for Epstein Island, you know? I don't know. You know, because you know, Neverland, kids that never grow up. I'm just... I'm brain... I'm brainstorming here. Brainstorming. What? Would you rather it fall into the hands of Captain Hook? The hand of Captain Hook? The point is, we're never... We're going right now to Neverland. What is that? Greenland. Okay, we're going... We're going to Greenland now. Wait, we're back to Greenland? I don't know, all right? I'm told they have a concept of a plan. Jordan Klepper, everyone. When we turn back, we'll find out the latest way air guns are staining New Yorkers. Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. When it comes to the news, some stories are serious, some stories are inspiring, and some stories are just stupid. And for those we turn to Rychane and a segment we call Everything is Stupid. It's all about the words. segment we call everything is stupid. Former New York Mayor Eric Adams has plenty of stupid moments during his tenure, from talking to the press during his laser hair removal to giving Diddy the key to the city. Yes, that happened. But if you thought he was weird as mayor, wait till you see how weird he is as not the mayor. Former Mayor Eric Adams is promoting cryptocurrency as a way to help combat anti-Semitism and other forms of hate. One focus we have on this New York City coin is to address anti-Americanism, anti-Semitism, to teach our children how to embrace the blockchain technology. Quick follow up, Mr. Adams. What the f*** does any of that mean? Can this guy do anything normal? Every headline about him is like Eric Adams honors firefighters by getting dick pierced at 9-Eleven Memorial. So we're going to fight anti-Semitism with cryptocurrency. I'm not sure the best way to help Jewish people is to create a shady money operation. This would be like fighting Asian hate with a demolition derby. Okay? It's kind of a mixed message. Of course I could be wrong. Maybe crypto can fight anti-Semitism. I mean if Hitler heard about the Eric Adams mean coin, maybe he would have killed himself much sooner. Naturally, people have a lot of questions like what is this? How does it work? What's wrong with you? Why can't you go away? Luckily, Eric Adams made a stupid commercial that answers none of these questions. Yo, Eric, is that you? I'm not a fan of New York City, brother. How are you? New York is wild, man. Get a f***ing mayor out of the back of my car. We're about to change the game. If you can't make it to New York, we're going to bring New York to you. That's $2, man. Cash or credit card? You got some of the New York City talking? We'll get you some, brother. This thing is about to take off like crazy. Man, that acting was so bad. I thought those two were going to have sex. No, no money, Mayor Adams. I know one way you can pay me. By the way, is this why cab drivers don't pick up black people because they can't risk having Eric Adams in their car? And if you're wondering why Eric Adams is obsessed with crypto, it turns out he relates to it in a very personal and stupid way. I was bullied in school called the dumb student. I couldn't read and people laughed at me. And we're the same because people laughed at you when you talked about Bitcoin. Hey, come on, man. This is a crypto conference. We're here to throw our money away in crypto, not to hear about your childhood trauma, right? Adams is like, yeah, it's a kid. I used to sleep on a sponge because I pissed the bed so much and that's what Bitcoin is about. So I still have no idea what the f*** he's talking about, but maybe he can clarify with an even worse analogy. I want to throw a name out to you. Betsy Ross, 1776. She created our flag. That flag still stands today. And that is what Bitcoin is about. What the hell does that mean? This makes me think Eric Adams has been trying to pay for things using American flags. He's checking out the grocery store like, hey, do you guys take flag here? But hey, look, this is America, all right? People have made money off of dumber ideas. You don't want to be the one guy who missed out on the Eric Adams gold rush. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Allegations of fraud are swirling around Eric Adams' new crypto coin after initially surging to a nearly $600 million valuation quickly after its launch and account linked to the token's creation withdrew $2.5 million, causing it to go into a freefall, losing nearly 75% of its value. Oh my God, no way! Who could have seen this coming? Who could have seen this coming? Besides every single person and several smart dogs. At least when the hot tour girl did crypto, she taught me to spit on that thing before stealing all my money. Hey, you can't put a price on good advice. I mean, Eric Adams' sex advice would be like, blow jobs are the Betsy Ross of the bedroom. Look, I think we all learned an important lesson here. Next time, a former corrupt mayor of New York launches an unregulated and risky crypto token synonymous with scammers and marketed on IP he doesn't own and backed by technology he describes as, I quote, Betsy Ross. Put all your money into it because, hey, there's no way he does it twice, right? That would be f***ing stupid. Josh, back to you. Ronnie Chang, everyone. When we come back, Simu Liu will be joining me on the show. She's gonna go away. Welcome back to The Daily Show. My guest tonight is an actor who stars in the Peacock series, the Copenhagen Test, and will soon be making his Broadway debut in Omeri. Please welcome Simu Liu. Thank you so much for coming. It's so good to be the first Asian guest. This is not fact-checked. The first Asian guest ever not to be interviewed by Ronnie Chang. Yes, yes. True or false? This seems correct. Yeah, yeah. Good. Thank you so much for being here. I'm gonna go ahead and say thank you to the audience for being here. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for spending time with me and everything. I had a quick question for you because in Omeri, you're gonna be playing a hot actor. And I'm wondering if that's a stretch for you as a hot actor. I mean, you are a very good-looking man. I mean, I appreciate you. Yeah, I think it depends on who you ask. But yeah, maybe the haters will say I'm really pushing my range. Okay. All right. But no, yeah, it's a really exciting play. I feel like it's one of those, it's really cool because it's a great play. It's really cool because the play's been around for a minute. You know, it's been running for a couple years, but everyone's been really good about not spoiling it. So I feel like a lot of people know about it, but have no idea what it's about. And that's kind of the sweet spot, I think, for me, when I enjoy something to go in with no expectations and to just be absolutely blown away. So yeah, I play a character called Mary's Teacher. And that's pretty much all you need to know. I don't know if you... All right. Yeah. I mean, are you coming at this a different way? Because, you know, you are this, like, movie action star and you're going to Broadway. And I feel like they call on very different skills as an actor. Right, right, right, right. So, I mean, what's the transition like for you from one to the other? Yeah, it's definitely something. But no, I feel like there's, you know, maybe, I feel like a misconception that theater is more intimate than film as a general statement. But I've actually found the opposite to be true. I found that in film, film is a very intimate space for an actor to play in, because oftentimes you're in a close-up. And so, you know, you play in the micro expressions and the glances. I mean, especially this show that I'm on, the Copenhagen Test, is so much about where Alexander's looking at any, you know, at any given time. In a theater of, say, 3,000 people, that's just not going to play as well. And so, you have to make sure that you're projecting so that the back row can hear you. And, you know, you're making these choices and these decisions that, like, are just, they're bigger and they're broader because you need to make sure that you're reaching every single person in the audience. And so, I think just getting into that kind of physicality where you're on a stage, you're not being protected by a camera, you're not being protected by editors, and you're just, you know, your entire person is just kind of out there, it's a really great kind of education for an actor. Yeah, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. It seems like, yeah, the misconception is that one is big, one is small, and it's really the opposite experience for the actor. Yeah, yeah. Okay, because when you started out, you were doing lots of stunts, right? Is that correct? I was literally doing anything that I could to work. Like, yeah, I did. I was like a substitute stuntman. I was, I think I wrote on a TV show at one point. I did a lot of stock photography, which I'm very famous for on the Internet now. Like, the most famous stock photo model of all time. Yeah. Because when you take a stock photo in your, in your mind, you're like, all right, this might get used like three times and somebody's book report and then, like... Because how many stock photo shoots have ever happened in the history of, yeah. Did you think about that when you started to land Marvel roles, where you're like, oh, some of these stock photos are going to come back? Yeah, and the crazy thing is, is that when you do one of these shoots, you sign a waiver in the top of the day and you sign away your rights and perpetuity. So people don't realize that I don't make any money off of that. I mean, that's the whole point of stock photos, is that you, you know, it's stock. So there's no royalty component to any of it, which, which sucks, which sucks. I would not make that deal today and I made a hundred bucks for those, for those photos. Wow. For how widely viewed they are, I feel like it's a really terrible deal. I mean, you're not wrong. You're not wrong at all. There is one other thing you mentioned that, that piqued my interest. So you said you would work sometimes as like a substitute stunt, like, man. So when the first person get hurt, that when you, Exactly. That's what I would, that's what I would come in. I mean, yeah, it was, it was like the way I see it is I just, I wasn't maybe good enough to be in the rotation. So I was like, maybe on the bench. Like if it was an NBA team, I was like, I was like Brian Scalabrini, you know, and so when all your starters got injured and you were like, I got a field, I have to field some people on the field. Like somebody has to do it. Yeah, that was, that was kind of where I, where I came in. But I was happy, you know, I was happy to work. So you were never scared. You were never like, okay, that hurt two people now. Yeah. Like maybe there's a bad stunts stunts is not one of the, I learned this the hard way. Stunts is not one of those fields where you want to lie about your work experience for sure. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I did it like constantly. They were like, Oh, have you ever been squibbed before? Squib is like a little explosive packet for when you get shot by a bullseat. So it's, you know, it's a prop and it's fake, but it's also like there's impact and there's like a little micro explosion. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I know, I know what that is. And it really hurt. I wasn't, I wasn't ready for it. I think I had my hand like somewhere near and it nearly blew my hand off. You know, there's this thing called a gainer three quarters where you get, you know, people, stunt people do it sometimes we get clocked in the throat and you kind of do this like backflip and you land on your, on your, and they're like, you've, you've done that before, right? And I was like, yeah. And I had never, I had never done it before. So I had to, I had to like learn it as I was doing it. And I was, and so it just felt real when you did it. Yeah, I just did it for real. I kind of expected as a, you know, as a, as a character act, like I was like, oh yeah, that, it would just come to me in that moment. Like I would just, was there ever a take where they came up to you after they cut and they were like, why didn't you move? Yeah, no, totally, totally. I was definitely wasn't falling the right way. Yeah. So, so let that be, let that be a lesson to everyone out there who you can't just do stunts. Like there's, there's actually, there's a progression that you can, that you have to train towards. So are you doing stunts in the Copenhagen test? Yeah, I'm trying to do, I'm a pretty competitive guy when it comes to that stuff now. Because now I've been, because I've lied my way to the table, you see, I've now hit a point where I am actually kind of experienced at it. And so I do kind of feel some sort of pride and also, you know, just growing up Asian, you know, you're watching Jackie Chan, you're watching Jet Leon. No, but it's true, right? Like you watched the one on film and there was some, there was just something internal in me that was like, this is one of the, at least at that time, one of the few things that Asian people can be proud of is the fact that we make great martial arts movies. And so, yeah, I was like, if I ever found myself in that position, I got to do my own stunts. Yeah. I'd be like bringing dishonor to Jackie and Jet by not, by not, you know. I mean, I do think they'd forgive you if you didn't have the script go off on you. It is this, it is this like weird racial double standard though, where like, I feel like I've seen when a white actor does their own stunts and it's like they do maybe like 20% of it, they're like, oh my god, this is incredible, you did your own stunt, like fantastic, good job. And then like being Asian though, the bar for the expectation is so, like if I like jump through the window and then there was like a stunt person that took the last like little bit of it, they'd be like, ah, that wasn't Jackie. Jackie would have done the whole thing and then broken his arm in seven different places and then been sent to the hospital. Yeah, that is, that's actually very, very true because I feel like we are all like a gas that Tom Cruise is still doing his own stunts. Right, right, right. He might be the only one. I don't know about a ton of white actors that, maybe Jason Statham or something. Yeah, yeah, he's out. But yeah, I feel like after those two, ah. Yeah, yeah, not too many. No, no. And so do you think that there's anything in these experiences that you've had on screen that you're bringing to Broadway, even though you have to make them bigger, even though you don't get the same amount of like, let's cut, retake that, actually I think I can do that better and everything, like you know, Broadway is so immediate for the audience. Is there anything that you think is transferring over really well? I mean, I think the thing when you bring it really just down to the craft and you distill a scene to like, what is its, you know, you hear actors talk a lot about the universal truth, like what is the universal truth of the scene, no matter how big or how small you play it, if you lose that thread of truth, then you lose the scene. And so I think if it's one thing that I can bring, or one thing that I think every actor needs to bring across whatever medium, it's that like, you know, our goal, it's not to like, look super cool on camera or to, you know, you know, for everyone to think that we're a good actor, it's to play the truth of whatever it is that that character is going through. And I think that you can do that in a big way and you can do that in a very intimate and small way, but it's just an actor's craft is choosing in which way that that truth gets reflected. Yeah, well I'm very excited to see you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for being here. All episodes of the Copenhagen Test are streaming now on Peacock. You can catch Simu on Broadway on an old Mary beginning February 3rd. Simu Lou. We're going to take a quick break, and we'll be right back after this. That's our show for tonight. Now here it is, the moment of zen. So I congratulate you on your tremendous success, and the United States is back bigger, stronger, better than ever before. And I'll see you around. Thank you all very much. Thank you very much. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.