We are the message and we have a message. Our life work is helping people who suffer, get better. You can't make them better. You can offer them to get better. And our reward is being authentic human beings. Whether you like us or not, that doesn't matter. We have learned how to be true to ourselves. I have a voice, so do you. If someone has a problem with substance use disorder, please call one call placement. That's 888-831-1581. And if we can't help you, we'll make a referral to someone who can. One call placement is affiliated with Carrera Treatment Wellness and Spa and One Method Treatment Centers. Candy Fin again. Richard Taked. How are you? Well, I think I'm okay. So everyone, Candy Fin again is a world-renowned interventionist, but not just a world-renowned interventionist. She is what, the first or one of the first? One of the first three women interventionists. One of the first three. How long have you been doing this for? 32 years. 32 years. And we do it completely differently, so but we'll talk about that later. But what I want to hear is, did you have a drug problem yourself? I would say it was leaning towards more alcohol. But if you had some drugs, I'd probably use them. And I was, I'm a good Irish alcoholic. Knee, knee walkin', tongue chewing, alcoholic, as I used to say. I stopped drinking Jamison's and because people told me I was obnoxious. I don't think so. But I tended to be more modeling like I love you so much. One of those people didn't enjoy. And I went to become a whineau. And so I think with my detox off of anything, it was sugar, because there's so much sugar in mine. Right. I was still high functioning. My mother-in-law was a social worker from Ohio. My husband was from Ohio. And she came to visit and busted me. I hid my wine in the back of the toilet tank. It was always cool. No one could see it. And she caught me. And so she was going to take my kids away. And I'm adopted. Your mother-in-law. Taken my kids away. Your mother-in-law. Good woman. Never ever said anything to my husband, her son. Right. Because he wasn't raising my kids. Right. So that's where the journey started. What a great woman. She was six foot one. My husband was six, seven. I'm five, two. I'm probably five, one now. But she just wasn't missing around. She was the bay love, the welfare participant, the divorce investigator. Oh, yeah. You were finished. She's in a small town. Good for her. Good for her. Yeah, I'm outside of Dayton. And she was not missing around. How are your kids today? My kids are spectacular. My daughter is a nurse. And she just moved back last week. I needed a nurse. I'm fighting for it. From Portland, Oregon. Oh, she's a nice woman. She moved home with me in my sentence and another musician. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. And neither one of them belonged to my club. Because I would have had to kill him. Well, also because when you have a mother, that you got your shit together when your kid was six. Six and three. Right. So the three-year-old doesn't even remember you drinking. And the six-year-old has an idea, but doesn't really remember. So you got there in the nick of time. Well, and I think the other thing too for me, Richard, is that I was so frightened to ever relapse. Because I'm the Eagle maniac and the Wonder Woman. And I knew I would never go back. Yeah. Because I thought I'm not getting another one of those poker chips. Are you out of your mind? Yeah, that wasn't mine. As you know, that wasn't my thing. I've had more sobriety dates than our dates on the calendar. But I want to hear the funniest stories about your interventions, the ones you've done. No names. But I need to hear it. Well, I'd have to say memorable, much more than funny. OK. I had some funny things happen. But one of them was on the show intervention that I had approved of being on. And he was a lightweight champion. And he was at this point living in New Canaan, Connecticut at the 7-11. Actually, I think it was a circle K. And the mailman is the one who asked the show if they would intervene. Wow. Which never we allowed before it had to be a media family. We actually brought him to where his ex-wife and twin boys lived, who he hadn't seen since they were 11 days old. And he'd had a stroke, of course, not getting any medical care. Because we didn't think it was fair to not kind of preserve the best of him. Because he lived on the streets, he basically had no clothes and no shower, no hygiene. So we actually, which was very unusual for us, kind of let him get acclimated in a hotel and bought him some clothes. Because the show never meant to embarrass anybody. No. And no, it's not celebrity rehab. Oh. Okay. I know. Don't even get me going. Thank you, God. Don't even get me going. Yeah. Don't get me going. So really what happened was we, one of the. Dude, come on the show and explain yourself. I'm dying to hear it. One of the field producers. I'm kind of acclimated him and made sure he was, because he wasn't physically very stable. And so we got him a hotel room and he got to pick out the cutest, the Lord jumps. That's better. We really get all of it. It was kind of a moss green color. But anyway, he walked in to the, we had a pre intervention. We had a sister. The twin boys. One of them had just graduated from Howard and the other one, Grambling. Wait, he had two twin boys. Yes. And he hadn't seen some of your. God, hold on. Hold on for a sec. 11 days old. He hadn't seen him. Okay, go on. He was so beautiful. One of them was 90% deaf. And, but he had graduated the top of Howard University. And his sons didn't know his name, but they called him champ. So we got the boys in. They, one of them was getting married in three months and they were 22 years old. And they wanted some kind of lineage. They wanted to know, you know, the mother always never bad mouthed him, even though. He had left her. And then. Two days before the shoot, we found another son that lived a quarter of a mile away from the other boys. And they didn't know that they existed. And I don't remember, but I don't think camp knew that this other boy existed. So we brought him. And the boys bonded. It's spectacular. So when he walked in and saw these people, he didn't know who they were. It was, I still breaks my heart. And he introduced himself and shook hands. We'd gotten him a cane because he was so unstable. He wouldn't use a walker. And he and her just himself to the boys. And they got up and just melted. And I can't say that he was certainly an alcoholic. But. And he certainly was not cognitively all there anymore. But I don't know what it was alcohol of the stroke. And so he sat down and wanted to tell all of us who he was. Which we of course, didn't never happened in a regular intervention. And there was a woman sitting in a chair kind of to the left. And he got up and, and said, excuse me. I'm so sorry, I was rude. I want to introduce myself. And she jumped up, falling and she said, I'm your sister, Evelyn. I mean, it was just like. What's going on with him today? He died. But. How did it go after that? He. He went to a treatment center in Louisiana that had professional athletes. We always joked because when you drove in it looked like a moat. And we'd always say, can't leave their validators. And so we, I felt so badly. He was there eight and a half months. And I think it was not only sheltering him, but it was a safer environment. He did go to his son's wedding. And he, and he had. Richard, he had this cry, this cat awalding. And he was like a cat. He was like a cat. He was like a cat. He was so guttural. That. It was like a primal scream. That of what. He for an instant, even in his cognitive delay, realized what he'd done to his family. Yeah. To be champ. And so. We allowed him. I didn't take him to treatment that day. And that he had isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation isolation And he was that special gave him money and called him champ and He'd lost his belt. He had no idea where and the show was able to Get it replaced the show was more gentle and kind than probably with anybody else we ever did and Well, he needed it more Well, he was he he just couldn't believe what had happened to him Because he had been very ruthless had no money was running up with women and pink Cadillacs and you know He was he was small in stature. I'd say it was maybe five foot eight and But his dad when he was six weeks old His dad started calling him champ So it was one of those situations where he had no choice. He was going to be this And he started training at six and a half years old to be a boxer So talk about brain injury And the punishment was extreme if he didn't win and I mean we found all of this out from his sister He had no recollection of it and there wasn't any reason to go back and dig it up. So He lived about him then after he got out of treatment. He went to live with the sister. Oh, it's been and He he kind of didn't remember ever drinking Good, but he knew he'd been a bad person and a bad dad and he tried to make it up to his kids I'm not sure what the extension of the relationship was with the children with the boys But I do believe he's they stayed in touch with him of course and how long did he live after that? You know, I'd say maybe six years So he had six good years. Yes, well they were good because he wasn't drinking but well They were good because he went ahead and he made his living amends to his family. Yes, and they made their living amends to him How so because He didn't make them proud When he was boxing yes, but when he became a homeless victim on the street They I think there was a small amount of time they looked for him, but he had nothing left He was married twice as a once at a very young man and then Maybe two or three years before he was champion and that's where the boys came from all right You got to remember the boys were 21. It wasn't they you know, it had been a long time all right, but I think for me Doing what I do it wasn't like anything else it was ever planned We of course did a pre intervention and I had statements, but when he walked in I went We're gonna talk from your heart and There get rid of that paper. I mean it was because it would have not been sincere to him all right I'm gonna tell you one I'm gonna tell you one and I was gonna do the funny one but I ain't doing the funny one after that I'll give you one I've done about 30 of them 30 interventions and I've had two failures So I'll tell you about one of the failures You know that early on with cliffside I was struggling and Could have pulled me no, well, that's because every I mean I know right But everybody thinks that whatever I do works out and it does but you know, it's a struggle getting there It's a struggle for everybody to start a business from scratch and you know to do a startup Especially in this climate is very hard and especially where he chose to have That's correct and then so I Lost my house And a lot of people don't know that and so I moved my family into a vacant Treatment Center We couldn't fill it and we lived there for six months and That's when I felt such embarrassment and such shame that I started working around the clock So because of that we started doing really well and now it was time to Move out because I had clients that were supposed to move in and I'd now place so we rented a place And we rented it about 10 miles down the road so right in between the Center and San Monica the midway point and so I'm on my way there because Dell is telling me you got to bring the pizzas because if we don't bring the pizzas for the workers They're gonna go eat and then or they're gonna have to come back tomorrow and she want them coming back tomorrow So she said do this now so as I'm driving with the pizzas my massage therapist calls as they do and She says sweetheart. I need you to do me a favor There's a friend of mine drinking herself to death and I need you to go and She's at Tivoli Cove Well the way God works in my life. I'm driving and 300 200 yards to my right is Tivoli Cove So I look up at my sunroof and I go I'm gonna get in so much trouble and But you know it happens and you go that's a God shot So I walk in and I talk to this woman But I only had 25 minutes. That's all I had So I go ahead and I said I get there and she won't come back with me She will not come back with me under any circumstances in candy This was the closest thing I've ever seen to a wet brain ever without being a wet brain. She was gone and After 25 minutes, I just started Stereically crying. Oh my get it and I told her I said sweetheart. I am sorry I have run out of time and you are going to die for sure and I am never wrong about this stuff And I gave her a hug and a kiss that I said I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry and I walked out Cut two five years later Patty's giving me a massage and she says do you remember that woman that I asked you to help and Do that intervention at Tivoli Cove and I sata and I looked at her and I said don't ever bring that woman's name up to me again ever Failure that woman is dead and it is my fault and I do not ever want you to bring that up to me Again, and she said okay sweetheartly did Literally 15 minutes later she says sweetheart, do you ever read those children's books? That I give you every Christmas to read to the kids and I said of course and She said do you ever look in side of the inside flap and I said No patty. Why would I do something like that and she says oh sweetheart you should and And I said why is that and she says Because the dead woman became a world renowned children's author and Every year she writes a note Inside the flap to tell your children who her father is Great right there you go no funnies Well I mean we were both racked we might as well do so I'm so well, but the truth of it is is that We are the messenger and we have a message but it's a lot of things Associates with whether they hear it or not and I guarantee you 80 90 a hundred percent of them hear it and And it that split second of surrender is if they believe it our life work is helping people who suffer Get better. We can't make them better. We can offer them to get better and and our reward is being authentic human beings Whether you like us or not doesn't matter We have learned how to be true to ourselves and our families and There are a few of us left I have a voice so do you you are a legend in this industry in my own mind in this industry and Everyone is better for it. How do people find you? Oh? I don't have a website because I think they lie and Is that they lie? It's just people don't need them. There's always a mistake and there's pictures of me 15 years ago And I mean I'm not that I'm old so you can Go to candy finnig in a day. Well, I'm gonna hold on me Candy finnig in at a well, you can't you can't tack a well, so I'm still They have a well anymore. Oh Come on Richard of course they do and but you it can't be hacked by Gmail and stuff So you use my space My space. Yeah, well, it probably is still up. I don't know might be and I have Instagram is Irish stew It's Irish stew Because that's what I was and So You'll you can find me you always if you need me you're not taking selfies and with the big lips and You know and singing to the dance songs are I can't I forget how you take selfies So no, I'm not drinking it out of girl. All right until next week. See you next Tuesday We're out of time please subscribe on YouTube click the thumbs up and leave a comment Please subscribe on Apple podcast and Spotify and leave a rating and a review and share the we're out of time Podcast with others you know who will get value out of it. See you next Tuesday
