you keep looking back at what was killing you

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There's directions that come with it and they're really easy to put together. One of my recent favorites that has actually been rocking my world is their low car beef tacos. Okay, I'm gonna freak out. They are so good. They look like little restaurant tacos. Way better than the tacos I make. Go to marleyspoon.com slash offer slash coffee for 45% off your first order and free delivery. That's right, you get 45% off your first order and free delivery. That's marleyspoon.com slash offer slash coffee. Buying a car can feel like guesswork. Is it really the right price or should you wait? With car gurus, you get unbiased deal ratings, price change history and trusted dealer reviews so you can spot a great deal and buy with confidence. Go to cargurus.co.uk for complete vehicle details without any surprises. That's cargurus.co.uk. Car gurus.co.uk. Car gurus, search, buy, sell, sorted. Hey everybody! Hey guys! Welcome back to another episode of Christ with coffee and ice. I'm your host Elio, so it's a joy and honor to be here with you guys. Why'd I have to go through that so fast? Why'd I do that? Why did I do that? How's he doing that? How's he pulling that? I won't explain it. If you know you know, if you don't know what I'm referring to, that's fine. How's he pulling that? How's he doing that? Anyway, that's what it was kind of giving. Why'd I do that? Why did I do that? Guys, welcome back to another episode of Christ with coffee on ice. It's not coffee with Christ on ice. It's Christ with coffee on ice. I know y'all aren't walking around telling people that we're just, we're out here on the podcast putting Jesus on ice. You guys would never do that, right? It's okay if you have. It's a tongue twister, you know? It's a tongue twister. I get it. It's a big mouthful. And even saying like CWCOI is still a mouthful. So there's just no option around it. Anyway, guys, how are you doing? How you feeling today? I feel good. Thanks for asking. I feel good. I'm glad that you're doing good. If you're doing okay, that's all right. That's okay, but if you're doing good, good. If you're doing great, great. I love to hear it. I'm so glad you're doing great. Praise Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Best guy in the world, by the way, if you've never heard of him, he rocks. Oh my gosh, he gives me life, like fresh breath in my lungs. Whenever I feel stale, like to the ones who know, if you get it, you get it. If you don't, that's fine. But like whenever I feel stale, like that's the only word I can really use to describe how I feel sometimes, the Lord just really brings, he brings a refreshing. He brings the freshness. He brings back the moisture to my bread that is stale, whatever, he's the best. Anyway, so I pray away all staleness in Jesus' name. And I pray that the Holy Spirit, spirit, the Holy Spirit, that the Holy Spirit brings back that moisture to your loaf of bread. Amen. Hallelujah. The bread of life. Lord. Oh, you're so good. Guys, I don't know what's happening today, but anyway, I mean, I've barely drank any of my coffee. It's not my coffee. It's literally the Holy Ghost. But we do have our coffee today. We have our Christ with coffee on ice. There's not much ice left, but it's there. We have our Christ. We have our cutesy little Bible, which I'm matching today. Okay, I didn't know that this was the color of like spring, but this is totally the color of this year's spring because I'm seeing it everywhere. No one told me that, but it's what I'm going off of. Simple observation of looking around. I've gone to a couple. Why did that just make me laugh? I've gone to a couple malls. I've shopped around a little bit. And there's just a lot of yellow going around around right now. Like pastel yellow, like light yellow. Am I getting strong? Is that my freaking tricep right there? What? Guys, watch out. I am, your girl's getting buff. Look at my biceps. I've been going to the gym, you all. Okay, I've been talking to my trainer. Anyway, yeah, yellow is spring, whatever we're moving on. Who cares? I have been working out with my trainer. Okay, I've told you guys that. Live, laugh, love her. Her name is Lindsay. She rocks. And we've been working out three times a week and now I'm thinking about up in it to four times a week because I really feel like this has become like an actual part of my lifestyle. Like this is how I live. And I think I've gotten my body into a good rhythm of being pretty used to working out every week. I've been very consistent for months now of doing intense weight training three times a week. But I'm kind of like chilling now. Like even when I don't set my alarm to get up early in the morning, my body wants to get up early in the morning and I just feel like moving already, which is awesome. So my body's like expecting it now. She's like, let's go girl. And so that's a good sign. I love that. I feel like I'm ready to amp it up a little bit. And so I'm thinking about doing weight training like four times a week now instead of three. I don't know, keep you posted. But watch out. I'm going to be coming up on the podcast with like a eight pack freaking washboard abs next time. Just kidding guys. You will never see my abs. That is not appropriate. And that's not what the podcast is about. Please. This podcast is about Jesus. Not my abs. You guys are weird. For that. Just kidding. I actually have no idea what energy I'm giving you guys today. I don't know what this is. Take it if you want. If you don't, I get it. What's going on? Anyway, hey, what do we talk about today, Holy Spirit? What do we get to talk about today? Well, I'm going to be honest. I really loved last week's episode. And I feel like a lot of you guys were liking it too. About like kind of just walking through recent scripture that I've been personally reading with the Lord and just like elaborating, building off of, obviously, we've done a lot of episodes where we've just simply read scripture. But I haven't done a whole lot of like scripture and then like breaking it down. Breaking it down. Breaking it down. Anyway, so maybe we'll do a little bit more of that today. But actually, before we do anything first and foremost, I would love to just okay, see now I'm getting really cocky and I keep looking at my triceps. I keep looking at my arms. I better watch out because I can't be getting all their vanity. I rebuke you in Jesus name. No, but you know what it is is I'm just proud of myself. I've never had a tricep in my life. And I'm not even one. Like I know we technically are supposed to have two. I've never even had one tricep in my life. Let a girl be excited and proud of herself. Okay. I'm not vain. I'm just like stoked that I have a tricep. I have two of them now. I didn't even have one. Okay, technically, I had triceps before. They were just very, very, very little. You could barely see them. Okay, we need to actually like get to a place of this episode making any sense. So I promise we're going to get there. Let's pray. Okay, Jesus, Lord, I thank you. I almost was going to say for triceps and then I was like, that's so dumb. Allie Locken. Okay, I'm so glad I didn't say that. Lord, I thank you for today. God, I thank you for joy of the Lord Jesus. I thank you for your joy. I thank you for your joy. I thank you for your joy. Oh my gosh, it's intoxicating. It's the best thing ever, Lord. We thank you for your gift of joy. God, thank you that it is actually in faith that we receive joy and we get to celebrate who you are and we get to receive your spirit today, Jesus. And so, God, I just pray that for my friend on the other side of this podcast. God, I pray for joy of the Lord. God, I thank you for your Holy Spirit that is falling on them right now in Jesus' name. God, I pray that your spirit falls on them, refreshes their soul. God, even as I was saying at the beginning of this episode, like add that moisture back to their stale bread, but really, Lord, I'm asking for a refreshing of their spirit in the ways that they need refreshing God only you know that. And so, I pray that that's what you do right now in Jesus' name. God, I pray that this episode blesses them deeply. God, that it is an episode that sticks with them for whatever reason that is, whatever is said. God, I pray that you have something in this episode for every single person who's tuning in. And Lord, I thank you that in everything that you use, that is the truth, is that you have something for all of us. And so, God, even if that's just like two minutes out of the episode, if that's the whole episode in itself, hallelujah, but God, I pray that there is something in this episode for every single listener, Jesus. I thank you, God. It is an honor to be used as a vessel, Lord. I pray that you continue to just purify me, Lord. Jesus, use me as an empty vessel, God. I want to be used by you and you alone, Lord. Help me get out of my own way. God, I pray that it is you and you alone. It is only your spirit. It is you speaking directly to your children, God. I thank you for the gift of today, Lord. I thank you that it is Friday. I thank you that we are alive, that we have breath in our lungs, Jesus. And I bless my friend on the other end of this podcast. I bless them in Jesus' name, God. I bless their family, God. I declare health and healing in the mighty name of Jesus. I plead the blood of Jesus over them and their family. I rebuke sickness. I rebuke disease. I rebuke any demonic attacks, any attempts at the enemy. I declare and I demand them to go back to the pits of hell where they belong, where they will not return, God. I thank you that it is promised in your word that any tactics of the enemy, any attempts of the enemy against those who are loved by you and love you will not prosper in Jesus' name. And so, God, I declare that truth over them and their family in the mighty name of Christ Jesus, that no weapon formed against them will prosper today, tomorrow, or for the rest of their lives, in Jesus' name. Amen. Protection of the Lord, God. Protect them. Amen. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, God. Okay, guys, today. Whoo! That was fun. I liked that. Whatever just happened. I know y'all are feeling it. That was fun. Holy spirit. What are we doing today? Yeah, we're going to read the Bible a little bit. We're going to read the Bible a little bit. What part of the Bible are we reading, Allie? I don't know. Parts that I've highlighted, probably. Okay, so a few episodes ago, obviously, I have shared with you guys that I am journeying through reading the Bible. What was that sentence? Of course, I'm reading the Bible. But like reading the Bible through and through from the front of the cover to the back of the cover, from Genesis to Revelation through and through. I don't know how long that's going to take me, but we're still working through it. Anyway, a few episodes ago, I shared that with you guys. And specifically, I was referring to one of these scriptures about who was it? Was it Abraham? Yeah, it was Abraham. When he was going back and forth with God before destroying Sonam and Gomorrah, and he was like, Lord, will you sweep away both the righteous and the wicked? Suppose you find 50 righteous people living there in the city, will you still sweep it away and not spare it for their sake? Surely, you wouldn't do such a thing destroying the righteous along with the wicked. And then the Lord replied, if I find 50 righteous people in Sodom, I will spare the entire city for their sake. And then Abraham spoke again, and he was like, okay, well, what if you find like, I don't know, 40 people? And then God was like, I will not destroy it. If I find 45 righteous people, he said 45. Okay, after that whole back and forth ping-ponging moment between Abraham and God, where God was basically saying that he will not destroy an entire city for the sake of any righteous people being in it. Because as him and Abraham are going back and forth, each time Abraham goes back to the Lord, he's bringing back a lower number. He's like, okay, what about 45? Okay, what about 30? What about 20? What about 10? And God is like, at the end of it, he goes, then I will not destroy it for the sake of 10. And so in this, God's justice is always tempered with mercy is what this verse is saying. Okay. And that also God's concern isn't just a number game of how many righteous people there are, but it's about character, period. So it's not about how many righteous people in God's sight, it's about character, it's about fruit, it's about heart posture, it's about who you are. Okay. And so anyway, after that interaction, we're now going to Genesis 19, and I would love to start reading there. And then we just kind of flow through it, and we talk and we discuss, and I can even share with you guys some things that I learned as I was reading the scripture, some of my little notes on the side here. So if you are at a place where you can read your Bible with me, I would love that. I actually think that it would be the most effective for you. If you're not in a place to read it with me, it's totally fine. I'm happy to read it to you. But if you are available to read your Bible and sit down and kind of study it and like read alongside and take notes, that's amazing. You should do that. I'd love for you to do that. And just as a reminder, I am reading the NLT translation, which is the new living translation. So if yours looks a little different, that's totally okay. But that is the translation that I read and I will be reading from. So we're going to start at the top of Genesis 19. This says Sodom and Gomorrah is destroyed. So that evening, the two angels came to the entrance of the city of Sodom. Lot was sitting there, and when he saw them, he stood up to meet them. Then he welcomed them and bowed his face to the ground. My lords, he said, come to my home to wash your feet and be my guests for the night. You may then get up early in the morning and be on your way again. Oh no, they replied, we'll just spend the night out here in the city square. But Lot insisted. So at last they went home with him. Lot prepared a feast for them, complete with fresh bread made without yeast, and they ate. But before they retired for the night, all the men of Sodom, young and old, came from all over the city and surrounded the house. They shouted to Lot, where are the men who came and spent the night with you? Bring them out to us so we can have sex with them. Okay, let's stop right there. What? Yeah. Okay, we're diving in today, guys. We're diving in. So what just happened? Now, I'm going to be transparent. I'm going to say that the first time that I read this verse, I assumed that these men were not straight. Right? Because I'm like, okay, they're not straight then. What's going on? Right? But the truth to this scripture is, okay, bear with me. So the culture of Sodom was so far gone that this actually wasn't about like attraction. This was actually more about dominating and humiliating outsiders. And so it's awful. It's evil. It's gross. It's disturbing, actually. This is very disturbing. But this is actually supposed to show us just how far gone and corrupt and wicked the culture was in this city is that if any outsiders came into Sodom, the men of that city being dominating and whatever, again, it's pride. Here we are, again, with pride and power and ego. That was our issue from the beginning and it still was then. It still is now. But it was actually just about dominating and humiliating anyone that came in from the outside. And so this was actually a violent assertion of power. It was about power. That's what it was about, is they wanted to humiliate and bring shame to anybody who came in from another place. And so that's why they were insisting on having sex with these angels. Super weird, super creepy, super not okay. But again, it's an emphasis of just how evil and corrupt the culture was in this place. So the people of this city had no respect for others. And it was just corruption and cruelty. That is what this verse is speaking to. 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So Lot stepped outside to talk to them shutting the door behind him please my brothers he begged don't do such a wicked thing look I have two virgin daughters let me bring them out to you and you can do with them as you wish but please leave these men alone for they are my guests and are under my protection stand back they shouted this fellow came to town as an outsider and now he's acting like our judge will treat you far worse than those other men and they lunged toward lot to break down the door but the two angels reached out pulled lot into the house and bolted the door then they blinded all the men young and old who were trying to get in the door of the house so they gave up trying to get inside. Meanwhile the angels questioned lot do you have any other relatives here in the city they asked get them out of this place your sons in law sons daughters or anyone else for we are about to destroy this city completely the outcry against this place is so great it has reached the Lord and has sent us to destroy it so lot rushed out to tell his daughter's fiance's quick get out of the city the Lord is about to destroy it but the young men thought he was only joking at dawn the next morning the angels became insistent hurry they said to lot take your wife and your two daughters who are here get out right now or you will be swept away in the destruction of the city when lot still hesitated the angels seized his hand and the hands of his wife and two daughters and rushed them to safety outside of the city for the Lord was merciful when they were safely out of the city one of the angels ordered run for your lives and don't look back or stop anywhere in the valley escape to the mountains or you will be swept away oh no my lord lot begged you have been so gracious to me and saved my life and you have shown such great kindness but I cannot go to the mountains disaster will catch up to me there and I will soon die see there is a small village nearby please let me go there instead don't you see how small it is then my life will be saved all right the angel said I will grant your request I will not destroy the little village but hurry escape to it for I can do nothing until you arrive there this explains why the village was known as Zoar which means little place okay stop everybody stop um I had a question at this point I don't know if this is a question that anyone else thought but um the question that I had is like why is God willing to negotiate because in this moment okay it's obvious that through the angels from God lot was told to go to the mountains that was what God was saying lot needed to do and lot kind of resisted and argued and said I can't go to the mountains I will literally die there please let me go to this little village instead like my thought was like why why was God willing to negotiate with lot where it's like okay bro if God is telling you to go to the mountains it's probably because you're gonna be okay he's not gonna encourage you to go to the mountains if you're gonna die there because the whole point of getting you out of this place is so that you don't die right so for me I was like why was God willing to be like all right you can go to the little village and the truth is is God he's so sweet can we remember that God is so sweet okay and he does have patience with human fear okay so even when we are fearful this is such a good lesson and such a good reminder that even when we are fearful okay even when like we probably should know better we probably should have more faith um God actually does have so much patience with us when we're in our human fear he said okay to going to the small village to meet lot where he was at so God was like okay fine because God was willing to meet lot where he was at which was he was scared okay he was scared I mean imagine imagine being surrounded by all these evil people and then these angels come down that's crazy in itself but these angels come down and they're like you need to leave this place the place that he's always that he's known I'm sure that like obviously with how corrupt and evil this place was like it still was his home for so long and so I'm sure there's some hesitation in him of being like but like will where I'm going next be better than this or like what if it's worse like I don't know there's always that uncertainty when God's calling you out of a place and bringing you somewhere else you know obviously we want to have faith that it's like for better but we don't always know that like there is always that lingering fear in the back of our heads of like okay but what if it's actually worse like what if I'm even more uncomfortable where I'm going than like where I've been and granted yes where I've been hasn't been the best but like that that sounds scarier to like go out into the unknown which is what God was telling lot and his family to do which is probably I'm not saying this is right this is just alley thinking but maybe that's why lot was a little hesitant and like was lacking belief in being like should I and then the angels like tied up his hands and the hands of his family and was like go um so I don't know maybe that's why lot was kind of like I don't know I'm scared because the uncertainty is scarier than just like living in the reality of where you're at whether it's bad or not you know what I mean so anyway it's just sweet that God like had compassion that that's what was demonstrated here is that God actually has compassion for lot and was willing to be like okay and meet lot where he was at and so lot was obviously already really overwhelmed and terrified by everything that was happening and even getting the news that like everything was going to be destroyed yeah it's just like a scary thing like homeboy was probably traumatized he's probably like what is going on and so lot was already overwhelmed and terrified and so God said all right I'll I will fetch you a bone and like that is God's heart right is like yes we are supposed to act in obedience and we are supposed to be faithful and we're supposed to have faith and be like okay when God says go we go but sometimes we don't or sometimes we're hesitant or sometimes we try to negotiate and be like okay God I'll go but can I please go this way and like he's such a compassionate dad that sometimes he'll be like all right it's not gonna really alter like I'm sovereign like I can do it it's not going like massively change anything because I'm the one in control anyway so like okay fine I'll let you have this but like we still got to be on the path right and so that's that's what God was demonstrating there and I think that that's so sweet and that was such a small detail that like I don't think I would have ever noticed had I not slowed down and asked that question of like wait I wonder why God was so willing to actually let lot go to the small village instead of the mountains like why wasn't God just like you need to listen to me because like yeah he can be a dad that disciplines and says you can you need to listen to me but he's also a dad with a heart okay he has a heart and he has patience with us when we're afraid and he has compassion and so that's what I got from that part I think it's really sweet and so another reminder in that is that sometimes God does accommodate our weaknesses so Lot reached the village just as the sun was raising over the horizon and then the Lord rained down fire and burning sulfur from the sky on Sodom and Gomorrah he utterly destroyed them along with the other cities and villages of the plain wiping out all the people and every bit of vegetation but Lot's wife looked back as she was falling behind him and she turned into a pillar of salt okay so I think a lot of us if you don't it's totally okay but I think a lot of us know this one particular part of scripture like a lot of people use this story as like don't look back you know and granted yes like don't look back but also I think what really has happened in this scripture right here is it's not just like don't look back at the past it's not as simple as that I actually believe it's that the reason that Lot's wife turned around and the reason that the result of her turning around was her turning into a pillar of salt is because it was actually exposing her heart in that moment Sodom and Gomorrah was so corrupt so evil so filthy the people there had no respect for others it was literally just corruption and cruelty that is why God had to burn it to the ground was it was because it was so repulsively evil you guys this place was nasty I think what the scripture is actually revealing is that Lot's wife there actually was some evil in her heart because how in the world could you look back like her looking back was revealing a part of her heart of like oh but I'm gonna miss it a little bit like the fact that she could turn around and like needed to take one more look of a place that was so evil was actually exposing her heart that there was evil in her heart because for some reason she low key was gonna kind of miss a place like that culture like that so Lot's wife was still tied to this place that's what was being said in her turning around is that she was actually still tied to this place emotionally she was told to leave a life behind that's tied to destruction and so she did that but she was still tied to it emotionally enough to turn around after the angels warned them and said do not turn around or you will die literally I mean I I where was it run for your lives and do not look back or stop anywhere in the valley escape to the mountains or you will be swept away they said that so homegirl did the opposite is she got swept away she got turned into a pillar of salt which is crazy okay so when we cling this is also like a lesson that we could even take from this is that when we cling to what we're supposed to move on from we can get stuck sure that's an interpretation for sure but I think the biggest thing is um it's heart posture like I think that really was revealing to her that her she was still emotionally tied to a season that was dead and evil and no good for her and so yeah I think that that could totally apply to our lives um is that when we cling to ideas or like memories or seasons of our lives that God has so obviously taken us out of it was for all the wrong reasons and he's pulling us out of it for all the right reasons we need to stay there and if there is an emotional tie to a season that was so evil that's a place in our hearts that we need the Lord to heal us in if that is something that you're recognizing in yourself that is something you need to bring to the Lord and be like okay I'm still emotionally tied to a time of my life that was not good like that was a time of my life that didn't honor you Lord whether this is like bc you before christ before you were saved if that's your story and you still kind of fantasize and think about and look back on those days as like the good old days or whatever that is or like you get random urges of just like missing it that is a part of your heart that you should bring to the Lord and be like god I this isn't okay like I shouldn't be emotionally tied to that anymore like you took me out of it for a reason and it was because it was no good for me and so help I have so much faith that the Holy Spirit can help walk you through that but transparency and honesty with the Lord if that is something that you do or if that's something you've realized you've like fallen to is like whoa I like sometimes kind of romanticize these parts of my life when honestly god took me out of that and I know it was because it was for my good to be brought out of that season and out of that lifestyle out of that Sodom and Gomorrah you know what I mean what if my friends secretly hate me something bad will happen if I don't do this does god really still love me after what I've done do you ever have thoughts like these I'm talking about unwanted thoughts that play on loop in your mind over and over thoughts like that can be signs of OCD but because OCD is so misunderstood a lot of people don't even know that it can show up that way OCD is a common highly misunderstood mental health condition that causes intrusive thoughts and a powerful urge to do something to neutralize those thoughts the thing is is these behaviors only provide short-term relief the unwanted thoughts fears and doubts always come back and that's why OCD can be so debilitating the good news is OCD is highly treatable with a specific kind of therapy called ERP or exposure and response prevention and that's why I want to tell you about no CD so no CD is 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is like funny to me because like homeboy ended up just doing the thing that god told him to do from the get go so it seems that zoar so the tiny village that he so desperately wanted to go to didn't actually end up being what he thought it was going to be so it sounds like the people there kind of sucked because apparently he was afraid of the people there and so he went to live in a cave in the mountains with his two daughters just as the lord had told him to which is funny so he ended up going back to what god originally told him to do anyway and then one day the older daughter okay this part gets a little there's more weird sex but we're just going to read it okay so one day the older daughter said to her sister but there's a message and we're going to break it down okay guys we're all adults here it's fine it's the bible it's our dad talking to us okay there's lessons in this that we need to learn from okay so one day the older daughter said to her sister there are no men left anywhere in this entire area so we can't get married like everyone else and our father will soon be too old to have children come let's get him drunk with wine and then we will have sex with him that way we will preserve family line through our father so that night they got him drunk with wine and the older daughter went in and had intercourse with her father he was unaware of her lying down or getting up again okay so that sounds like lot was so intoxicated that he has no recollection of what happened he does not remember his daughter laying down with him or getting up again so homeboy has no idea what just happened okay so the next morning the older daughter said to her younger sister i had sex with our father last night let's get him drunk with wine again tonight and you go in and have sex with him that way we will preserve our family line through our father so that night they got him drunk with wine again and the younger daughter went in and had intercourse with him as before he was unaware of her lying down or getting up again so let's stop right there it's okay guys it's okay it's it's gross like that sucks but again there's an underlying message in this okay incest isn't it that's not it okay nope we don't want that but what's being said in these scriptures right now is that the daughters were hopeless and they were desperate okay so imagine they go through what they go through okay the evil corrupt awful city that they were living in just got destroyed uh they tried to go to this cute little town that didn't end up being so cute because all the people there scared them and they sucked and so now they have to live in a cave in a mountain okay and so the daughters at that point are like bro how are we ever going to continue our lineage because one thing to also know about this time is that the ancient world lineage and survival was most important at that time so for families like it was actually really important for survival and just like lineage to keep it going the family tree and I would assume that if that didn't happen it would be a disgrace and or their bloodline would die and so it wasn't even just about the girls being like but we want to get married and have babies like it was actually mostly about them being like how are we going to make sure that our family survives it was more about survival and lineage than it was about anything else okay so yeah it was super gross that it was incest super gross that they used their dad for that but like it was desperation and hopelessness they literally were like we're gonna die and then our entire lineage like our family as as far as it's come up until this point is going that's it to cease to exist so as a result okay moving forward now as a result both of lots daughters became pregnant by their own father when the older daughter gave birth to a son she named him Moab he became the ancestor of the nation known as the Moabites when the younger daughter gave birth to a son she named him Ben Ami he became the ancestor of the nation now known as the Ammonites okay and something to know about the Moabites and the Ammonites is they actually become in tension with Israel so there's like a bunch of conflict and tension that happens with those nations in the future and so with that being said that also points to the fact that human decisions actually make everything messier and so we will see eventually the effects of these two daughters taking matters into their own hands right making their own human decisions without God in how it actually makes things ends up making things messier and uh we we've actually have already seen that in the bible earlier in Genesis when Abraham's wife Sarah insisted that he have sex with their helper and get her pregnant because Sarah wasn't getting pregnant even though God had already promised them that they were going to have kids and that Abraham was going to have so many descendants more than he could count but even that is like that became a really messy situation as well and so it's as soon as we start to take things into our own hands is when we see the repercussions and the consequences of how that does not only affect us but it affects so many people after us and so that is a little foreshadowing moment of what will come because of how lots daughters took matters into their own hands instead of just having trust that the Lord was going to help them stay alive and that they would be able to continue their lineage that this was only a season but again they were filled with hopelessness and desperation and so unfortunately what do we do when we're hopeless and desperate y'all we we we've been making decisions we shouldn't be making we freak out and we stop thinking about what God wants and we go okay but ah we then we'll do this and so that's what happened here so now we're in Genesis 20 Abraham moved south to the Negev and lived for a while between Kadesh and Shur and then he moved to Gerar while living there as a foreigner Abraham introduced his wife Sarah by saying she is my sister so King Abimelech y'all I don't know of Gerar sent for Sarah and had her brought to him at his palace but that night God came to Abimelech in a dream and told him you are a dead man for that woman you have taken is already married but Abimelech had not slept with her yet so he said Lord will you destroy an innocent nation didn't Abraham tell me she is my sister and she herself said yes he is my brother I acted in complete innocence my hands are clean and in the dream God responded yes I know you are innocent that's why I kept you from sinning against me and why I did not let you touch her now return the woman to her husband and he will pray for you for he is a prophet rewinding a little bit this might sound familiar to some of us already if you if you've already read Genesis there was actually another time that Abraham lied to people saying that Sarah was his sister instead of his wife because he was afraid that when they were to see how beautiful Sarah was knowing that they were married that they would kill him so they could have her and so that was just Abraham and again leaning on his own understanding not having a lot of faith and believing that that was what he needed to do to survive and to live and so what was interesting to me at this point and I asked the question I was why did he do it again because he was proven that everything was fine the first time that he didn't need to lie and say that she was his sister that the Lord was going to protect him and provide and that everything was going to be okay and so I was like why is homeboy doing it again and the truth is is that this is an example of what a fear-based pattern is like sometimes sometimes we do stupid stuff out of fear right we make fear-based decisions and sometimes we do it again and again and again and so this is Abraham just doing that this was a fear-based pattern falling into old fear because the truth is his growth isn't always linear okay so sometimes and sweet Abraham he's doing his best man you know and again the Lord has so much patience for him as he does for us too but like the truth is is like sometimes we fall into old fear and that's okay God has grace for it like obviously God did right even here God actually encountered Abimelech in his dreams to be like hey bro I know my guy over here lied to you and said that that's his sister but that's his wife so don't you dare touch her have sex with her because that was like a big big big big no no big no no to sleep with somebody else's wife it still is it's stills not okay but like that was like put to death type stuff right that's why Abimelech was like okay God I'm innocent like will you destroy an innocent nation aka like you're not going to destroy us over this like I didn't know and God's like yeah I know you didn't know so that's why I'm telling you now so you need to bring her back to her husband and also he'll pray for you too because he's a prophet and that'll bless you and so yeah God has grace that was him extending his grace even though Abraham did the same fear-based pattern as he's already done and yeah like growth isn't always linear okay so sometimes we fall back to old fears and that's okay so God also signals to the king to do the right thing and show how sacred his covenant with Abraham is and so that's also what God was doing in his conversation with Amolech and Abimelech y'all what Abimelech in his dream okay so then Abimelech got up early the next morning and quickly called all his servants together when he told them what happened his men were terrified then Abimelech called for Abraham what have you done to us he demanded what crime have I committed that deserves treatment like this making me and my kingdom guilty of this great sin no one should ever do what you have done whatever possessed you to do such a thing Abraham replied I thought this is a godless place they will want my wife and will kill me to get her and she really is my sister for we both have the same father but different mothers and I married her when God called me to leave my father's home and to travel from place to place I told her do me a favor wherever we go tell the people that I am your brother then Abimelech took some of his sheep and goats cattle and male and female servants and he presented them to Abraham he also returned his wife Sarah to him then Abimelech said look over my land and choose any place where you would like to live and he said to Sarah look I am giving your brother 1000 pieces of silver in the presence of all these witnesses this is to compensate you for any wrong I may have done to you this will settle any claim against me and your reputation is cleared then Abraham prayed to God and God healed Abimelech his wife and his female servants so they could have children for the Lord had caused all the women to be infertile because of what happened with Abraham's wife Sarah okay and now this is the happy part right because again up until this point if you guys don't know Abraham and Sarah had yet had a child of their own yet even though they were of old age and they still were waiting and so now this is Genesis 21 it says the Lord kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised she became pregnant and she gave birth to a son for Abraham at his old age this happened at just the time God had said it would and Abraham named their son Isaac well guys that was kind of a fun and educational and kind of it shouldn't have been awkward but a little bit weird I mean the Old Testament y'all there's some crazy stuff that went on there's some crazy stuff that went on and sometimes I'm like Lord you really do be having patience with us like we are whack people are whack humanity weirdos we're a bunch of weirdos but God loves us and he has so much mercy for us and I just think that like things like that in the Bible too it's just such an emphasis and continues to point back to the fact that when God says that everything that is done for evil God actually ends up using for good and his glory and it's true like every evil act every evil thing that's ever happened in the history of ever God will use and has used for good like there's nothing under the sun that he can't use for good and there isn't something good to be brought out of it and so I even pray that that's like the revelation for y'all is even in the things that feel so unjust and so unfair just know that there's always an opportunity for God to bring something out of it that's beautiful he is the one that brings dust and ashes and makes them beautiful he brings beauty out of ashes like that is our God and we're not going to continue to put him in a box of anything that says anything less than that that he's not capable of it or that things are too far gone or there's just like no way and the truth is is like that probably is something that crosses a lot of our minds I know that that it's crossed my mind plenty of times of like yeah God sorry like I actually don't see how anything good could come out of this at all like I actually am angry that you would allow this because how in the world could there be anything good that could come out of this and the truth of that is like we need to step aside and we need to stop again like it's not by sight that we walk right we said this in last week's episode but it's just as relevant today as it probably will be tomorrow and the next day and every day of our lives is that we don't walk by sight y'all we walk by faith that is the truth so we don't look at a circumstance and say no there's no way God that you can restore this there's no way that you can make something beautiful out of this because that's not where we put our trust like we put our trust in who God says he is and we put our faith in him and not circumstances not how things look you know so um yeah I would love to help remind you guys and encourage you that when you feel discouraged when there's so much evil happening around you or like yeah I mean it doesn't even have to be evil but it's just like this doesn't look good God I don't see a way out of this that he always makes a way it's insane that Sarah I think she was literally in her 90s and obviously Abraham was 100 years old by the time that they got pregnant do you understand that there's actually no feasible possible biological way that they could have a child that doesn't make sense like just as Mary conceiving a child Jesus carrying Jesus in her demi like that was impossible home girl had never had sex in her life she was a virgin that's the same living God that we talked to every single day and I think that that is the veil that needs to be torn from our eyes if we've allowed any kind of like mask to cover us and like our eyes and and and keep us from seeing that truth like this is the same God we're talking about today and the same God that you pray to every day is the same God that gave Abraham and Sarah a child in their 90s slash 100s like he promised them and they had to wait a very long time but God didn't forget and even when it seemed impossible like even when it seemed like it was like okay I'm too old now God and he still fulfilled his promise to them even after they tried to take matters into their own hands can we talk about that part too like we didn't read that scripture today but we referred to it for a second where Sarah and Abraham like they literally had another plan of how they were going to conceive and it was going to be through their helper another woman Sarah was like yeah this is the only way we're going to have a kid because I don't see any other way it's the fact that God still did it it's his mercy y'all it's literally his mercy it doesn't make sense but he still decided to give them a kid even after they tried to take matters into their own hands and again it was at a time that they honestly probably thought it was too late but it's never too late God is always on time that's what the scripture says y'all can we just read that one part again he says he says he says he says the Lord kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised she became pregnant and she gave birth to a son for Abraham in his old age this happened at just the time God had said it would his timing is perfect he is a perfect on time God his only option is to be perfect and on time so maybe to our own eyeballs Sarah and Abraham's eyeballs they're looking at the situation they're going yeah I'm too old but God said no it's actually right on time and it's actually right when I said that it would happen guys we need to have faith faith that God is so much bigger than the box that we put him in and he's bigger than our circumstances he's bigger than your bank account he's bigger than the unfortunate things that have happened um he just is bigger than all of it and so thank you Jesus that you are bigger than the problems in our lives in the ways that we doubt you God thank you that you're actually bigger than our doubt like it reminds you of that scripture of like Lord I believe but help my unbelief and it's the fact that he has mercy for us even in our unbelief like it is actually okay and let me remind you this too this is worth mentioning even if you have lacked faith even if you have tried to take things into your own hands even if you've completely lost hope in the fact that God could do it he actually still has mercy for you in those moments like I don't want you guys to ever think that because you've fallen short in having faith at times that means God is now going to revoke the blessing I don't know if you guys ever believe that sometimes I've believed that um and that just like isn't God's character and I think I would encourage you guys that if a thought like that crosses your mind you need to immediately combat that and challenge it with scripture and say okay this is a thought that I'm having right now is it actually accurate biblically to God's character is this actually something that I can find in God's character today because I'll believe it if I can find it in the bible but if you can't find it in the bible then you best believe it's a lie from the pizappale because the thing is is like the enemy is always going to try to convince us that our heavenly father isn't good and that he doesn't care and he's not a compassionate dad or a dad that cares and he's a dad that unjustly and unfairly punishes and so the minute that we lose faith he goes nope never mind I'm not giving you that blessing anymore because you lost faith for too long that's not him that's so clearly not him that's literally not God even lot lost faith a little bit because he was so freaked out at the fact that they had to flee and run because his whole entire home was being burnt to a crisp and he like was lacking faith he thought that if he were to go into the mountains he was going to die what is that lacking faith of God's protection you're going to be fine dude but like God he has mercy for us in the times that we are operating in fear and like lack faith sometimes that's okay will he always encourage us to operate in faith and faith alone yeah of course that's the way to live but like when we fall short of that sometimes it's okay God has mercy so he's not going to revoke his blessings and his promises first off he can't if he's already promised it he can't go back on that because he's not a liar you know who is the author of lies though you know who is the father of lies satan so he stays lying but God God could never so if he's already promised it to you then you better just expect it i don't know when he'll do it but you better expect it and he doesn't he doesn't just revoke and take it away when you fall short okay that's it that's my rant i love you guys i'm really proud of you i think you're awesome oh my gosh we didn't say this last week guys can we do something really cool today can we show somebody how cool jesus is can we walk more like him talk more like him be more like jesus today i love y'all i'm so proud of who you are it's probably because of that i like went on a little tangent last week i'm just talking about how proud i was of you guys i still am okay i love y'all so much i hope you have a beautiful friday i hope i hope you have an even more beautiful weekend and i will see you same time same place next week i'll see you next friday bye