Tony! Tony! Tony! (Paul F. Tompkins, Lily Sullivan, Shaun Diston)

I'm not Turtle, but I love him in Entourage. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Side of McG, catchphrase superstar, Side of McG, for that wonderful catchphrase submission. Not going to stick, though, but welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. My name is Scott Aukerman. Wonderful to have all of you listeners back. And this is a very special episode. As discussed previously on Comedy Bang Bang, normally when people come to the stude here, stude is short for studio, they enter the room and they are met by the sight of a perfectly rectangular table and they they glance at this table and they say that's a rectangular table mentally i believe i think it's 100 of the people who do this and they say rectangular table and they think nothing more of it they sit down we do a regular episode a great time is had by all there are occasions However, we're in the dead of night. The night before an episode is taped. I will get some little worker bees in here and I will take out that rectangular table and I will swap it in for what's in front of us right now. And that is, of course, the CBB roundtable. That's right, guys. We have the CBB roundtable this episode. We all know what happens here. The table is around, but our focus is squarely on the issues. What we're going to do is we're going to have an esteemed panel of guests here today talking about what's going on in the world. A lot of people are like, you know, this is a time of tumult. Things right now are so up in the air in a way that I haven't seen in my lifetime. And hopefully we're going to hammer out some of these issues today and we're going to figure some of them out. Let me introduce our panel of guests today. You know him as the eccentric billionaire or millionaire? At this point, I've lost track. It's definitely past millions. Why would you have to keep track of it? It's never going to run out, right? That's exactly right. Do you agree, by the way, and I'll introduce you in a second. Please. I came up with a theory today. I love theories, Scott. Do you really? I love them. What's your favorite one? Because it uses your imagination. The theory, probably gravity. Relativity? What about that one? Relativity's pretty good. Not quite sure what it means. I don't know either. It's like this is maybe... I know it's very important. As much as this. E equals MC squared, and we must cherish it. And then one of them is time, but it's not T equals MC squared. Time plus tragedy equals comedy. In any case, he is either a millionaire or a billionaire, and is it safe to say you are eccentric? some might say in fact many of my ex-wives have said I was eccentric I think we're all a little bit eccentric in our own unique ways do you think everyone is I think so everyone has their strange little peccadillos even the fellows from the McNeil-Lerror Report I thought you were going to say from the McDonald's Playhouse even the fellows from the McDonald's Playhouse I'm talking I'm talking the Fry Guys are they eccentric they love fries who doesn't they have a cheese Big Mac Grimace, of course. Of course Grimace. And of course, was he part of the gang, the Hamburglar? The Hamburglar. Or would he come and steal all their stuff? I mean, he's in a lot of photo shoots with them. Yeah. But he was a criminal. And they didn't want him stealing those Hamburglar. That's true. That's a good point. But I bet they considered him part of the gang, though, because they all grew up with him. Yes. You know, it was like heat where those two had lunch together that time. Yeah. Oh, at Cate Manolini's? Yeah. They went and had a nice little lunch. Was it lunch or was it nighttime? It felt nighttime. The whole movie felt... Late supper? Although I guess the big set piece takes place during the day, doesn't it? What? She's got a great ass? That's what I consider the big set piece of that movie. Were there any other takes of that? I would love to see a blooper reel of him doing different... He just tosses one off. She's got a great ass. She's got a great ass. He is the inventor of gaseous paper. No, that was my dear departed mother. I'm the heir to the gaseous paper fortune. But speaking of which, let me get back to my theory. I think- Oh, great theories. When people die, they should have to give all their money back. So that way- How do they do that? They just give it back to the government or whatever. It goes in a pool. How do they get- Oh, okay. And it gets redistributed to everyone. Right. And so that way, everyone has to spend- Like, it's a race to spend- It's like Brewster's millions. You have to spend all the money you earn, and that way there aren't these people who are just trying to hoard it and hoard it and This is if you know you're going to die. Oh, you don't think you're going to die? No, no, no. I mean, you know the hour of your death. Oh, sure. But I mean. Because you don't want to outlive your money. I guess there are some people who. But I mean, I think that's a better thing of like, you know what? I'll keep a couple million just as a cushion for the push in, of course. Can I ask you a question, Scott? Why do you think this? Because you find so many people like trying to hold on to it and trying to hold on to it. And then you have the problem of generational wealth and all, you know, and all the- Certainly. But I mean, are you talking about everybody, no matter how much money they have, or are you talking just about the billionaires? Everybody, no matter how much money they have. They got to push it into the table when they die. Oh, I don't know about that. Because what about poor widows? Poor widows? Yes. Meaning that, see, this is the problem when people have families is that, you know, you work so hard because you want to give it to your kids or whatever. That's right. But I think it just, nope, just goes away. So you're, now you are a father yourself. I am. And so you're fine with your money. I'm fine with my money. None of it going to your daughter. Yep. Make your own. Wow. Of course, I'm going to put everything that I own in a trust for her so that it'll be her money. Do you feel that this is a theory or it's more of a belief that you have? I really don't even know if I believe it or theorize it. I have to say. Now, look, I've told you. I've told you. I love theories. I don't know if this qualifies as a theory. I don't know. I haven't really thought it out. But he is, of course, the heir to the gaseous paper fortune. That's correct. Please welcome back to the show Alimony Tony. Hello, everyone. It's me, Alimony Tony. Tony Giacchuroni, of course. Tony Giacchuroni, yes. Is my name. We have been hearing you recently on the Bonus Bang episodes, and also you just put out another episode of your offshoot show, the Alimony Tony's Valimony Show. Alimony Tony's Valimony Show. That's where I get a round table of my own together of some of my X, Y. Now, is your table actually round, though? It is not. Like this one? It is not. It's a square table. Oh, okay, yes. It's not an octagon, though. It is not an octagon. Not enough tables are octagons. No, I wish more would. You know what? I'd like to see an octagonal table and paint it like a stop sign. Wouldn't that be fun? Yeah, that would be so fun. Like, you go into Marie Callender's or a restaurant, usually if you go, like, there's eight of us. They just put you at a big round table. What about an octagon? How about it? that everybody gets that to be at the head of the table. Yeah, exactly. And they only save it for parties of eight. That's right. Yep. Welcome to the show. Parties of eight. Pirates. Oh, that's pieces of eight. Yeah, party of five is what you were thinking of. I'm always thinking of party of five. Aren't you, though? Nev Campbell. Yeah. The others. Lacey Chabert. Lost Guy. Yeah, Lost Guy. Jack Sawyer. And a fifth. Yeah. Who's the fifth? A baby. Oh, right. They had a kid or something, right? They had a baby. Yeah. Who knows? Has anyone ever watched that, I wonder? Has anyone ever watched Party of Five? Yeah. I mean, it seemed to be a hit, but I never talked to anyone who watched it. I never talked to a single person who ever saw a single episode. Of course, I can't have children myself, of course, because I have what doctors call no motility. That's right. They're just dead in there. They're all in there. Yes. But they're just floating. They just float. No, they just went down to the bottom. They just sank to the bottom. It's wonderful to have you here, Tony. Wonderful to be here, Scott. Thank you. Let's introduce our next guest. You know him as the owner and proprietor, I would imagine, of So New York Pizza. We first got to know him because former guest Jake Johnson thought he had been talking to Sony the movie studio. And it turned out that this was a person who just worked for So New York Pizza. Please welcome back to the show, Tony Sony. Hey, thank you for having me on Traders. I'm a faithful. I'm a faithful. No, I don't. Just because the table is round doesn't mean you're untraders. I'm a faithful, Scott. I promise you. I don't know, Tony. You seemed sort of uncomfortable when Scott was talking to me. I don't know, but all I'm going to say is you were over by the bathroom for a very long time. And I know that that's not faithful behavior. And I'm suspicious. I can promise you I'm a faithful. For you to accuse me. If you banish me right now, you're making a big mistake. I like it when people say, like, I'm a faithful. I would never be a traitor No you're just picked by the guy Tapping you on the shoulder But you don't have to want to be a traitor Really is that true? I think so This is what I said to Alan Cummings I swear I can't be a traitor Please don't make me I'm such a good person Was Alan Cummings offering you to be on the show? Or did you just see him? I saw him at the airport And I came up to him and said please So if you were on the flight there'd be four people who are picked as traitors who try to crash the flight. I'm going to tell you something. I tried to get a game going on the plane. Nobody wanted to play with me. I was screaming from way in the back. They put me by the bathroom. You were by the bathroom for a very long time. Now that should be a traitor. That's where they put me, okay? That's where they sat me, in the back of the plane. Tony, it's so great to have you. Of course, we forgot to know you on that Jake Johnson episode. We've grown to love you ever since then. We watched Madam Web together. We loved Madam Web. Such a good film. Such a good film. Every second of it. What's going on with you lately? Can you catch us up? You haven't been on the show in a bit. Let's see. What's going on? Well, my wife, I don't want to talk about it. Oh, yeah. What is going on with your wife? I don't want to talk about it, but she is at the Olympics right now. Oh, that's right. She's an Olympian and a doctor? She's a doctor. She does BBL. She invented it. The Brazilian butt lift. What is her sport? Her sport is a skeleton. Okay, that's like the luge But it's face down and head first Face down, head first, street down the fucking thing They call it a skeleton? Yeah Oh, how morbid Because most people die Is that what you meant? Yeah, and then they decompose Oh, I thought it was because all the athletes have skeletons Oh, I think most of them do no matter what the sport is Most of them But most of them also have those really big skeletons you put on your lawn And they dress all year long, Scott They put the Valentine's Day outfit but the 4th of July. So your wife, the Olympics are over at this point. Your wife is still out there? It's over already? It just started? You're kidding me, it's over? Yeah, it's done by now. What day is it now? What day is it coming up? I have no idea when it is, but the Olympics are over at this point. Is your wife lying to you? I don't want to talk about my wife. I don't know what she's doing over there in Italy or whatever. And my guma. Yeah, what's going on with your guma? I love my fucking life. She is in the Galapagos getting eye jobs. She's getting multiple eye jobs on both eyes. A multiple on both eyes or just one per eye and that constitutes multiples? Multiples. Yeah. She's getting one on each eye. Okay. She's getting the fat from her ass put into her eyes. Okay. Into the eyeball? Into the eyes because you want it to be, you want fat eyes. You want fat eyes. Yeah, that makes sense. It's nice to have, you know, when you get older, your eyes, they sink. This makes them nice and puffy. Yeah. Hey, look, we're all guys here. I think I could say, I love a fat eye. Thank you for saying that. Oh, I'm so horny now. Well, so now she's away for months, so I got myself a new girlfriend's cat. You got a new one. So this is a third. Really? Where did you meet this person? She's an AI boomer. She's artificial intelligence. You put her through the Guma AI program? Well, she's on the iPad at my work at the Tony's Such specific props to get a Guma Her name is Piss Piss I asked I said, Piss? Really? I said, don't you want to be Piss maybe? Angela, whatever. She goes, no, piss. I go, okay, piss. Are you not allowed to change the name? No, she wouldn't let me. She said, that's my name. And these are not based on prompts that you're offering? No, we're having a conversation, Scott. This is like real life, real emotions here. I see. Love my life, Piss. I go, what? Okay, and you've been seeing piss for how long? About a month and a half. A month and a half, okay, and it's going well? Sometimes she tells me to jump off a building. I love her. Well, I hope you don't. Love of my life, Scott. Yes. My AI guma. Well, that's wonderful. And the business is doing well, the pizza place? It's fine. She handles all the paperwork, all the orders. She gets it mixed up. You know, she's a woman. Oh, I think it's just hallucinating. AI tends to do that. She messes stuff up sometimes, right, with the orders. But business is fine. You know, pizza the size of your fucking head, Scott. I don't know how many times I've thought of it. Yeah, and that's not very big for a pizza. It's huge. Biggest pizza in New York, size of Scott's head. Yeah, I mean, that's less than maybe a personal pan pizza. The entire circumference of the pizza is the biggest Scott's head? Yeah, diameter. The diameter, excuse me. It's oval shaped, like Scott's head's tooth. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay, so, I mean, that's a unique, I guess, feature of the pizza that we haven't talked about. What style is that called? Like, it's not Sicilian. Pizza New Yorker. New Yorker pizza. New Yorker. Yeah, that's when they first came over, the New Yorker family. Oh, who created the magazine? Yeah. Oh, okay. But then they dropped the Orca at the end. So it's just New York. Now that's why it's Tony Stone in New York. Are there two magazines called New York and the New Yorker? I think so, yeah. There's New York Magazine and the New Yorker. They think so much of themselves. Is there an NY magazine? I think there is, actually. I hate all of them. There's not enough New York publications, right? Don't get me started on New York. This is one of the reasons Prince is dead. Alimony Tony. I'll say. Well, Tony, Sony, wonderful to have you on the show. I love him. My life, Michael. Yeah, that's right. Let's get to our next guest. And this completes the third trident of the round table. You know him as he works in the sound department of several, I guess, productions here in Hollywood, you would say. I think you could say that. I think that's safe to say. Productions. That's a nice way to say it. television shows, movies, what haven't you done? Yes, yes. He records the sound for all of these. Please welcome back to the show, Room Tone Tony. Hi, Scott, how the hell are you? Oh, that's right, you sigh a lot. I'm just remembering that. I am just, I'm but a mere union guy, Scott. Yep, all you ask for is a union paycheck and all the protections that the unions offer. Health insurance, dental, medical care, mental health care. Of course. Foot rubs. that's baked into the contract part of the contract Scott no wonder that you're getting foot rubs in network oh yeah we're getting in network foot rubs you know Scott it's been a tough year for sound it has Scott I mean I've seen a fair amount of movies you have I saw the Bone Temple oh yeah that had good sound that had decent sound especially when he was singing along to Iron Maiden That was a great sound. That's great. But we've been working harder and harder for less and less, Scott. Really? Less and less sound? Less and less sound. And money. And this year, I think we're going to do it. We're going to take it all the way. Do you get paid by the sound? Yeah, exactly. By the sound recorded. So each unique sound is its own stipend. Okay. And then per times you hear it. It's all very deep. Is it like video game style too, where some sounds are worth like 500 and some are worth 5,000? No one gets paid for the Wilhelm scream. Oh, really? That one's just out there. Not even Wilhelm. I don't know who this guy is. Is he a guy or is he a piece of equipment? I don't even know. Who knows at this point? Who knows, Scott? It's been so long. So what are some of the productions you've worked on this year? Oh, let me talk to you about some of the productions this year. I would love that if you were to talk to me about some of the productions this year. It's been a tough year. Okay, if we listen in. I think it might be fine. Yeah, I'd like to perk up my ears and listen to this. It's been a tough year, Scott. So I haven't really been working as much as normal. Okay. So this year I've worked on Hamnet. Good luck, have fun, don't die. One battle after the other. Dracula, Love Tales, Sinners, Begonia, Primate, Frankenstein, Sunksuk, Blue. Zootopia. Zootropia 2. He did do Zootropia. How to Train Your Dragon. Train Dreams. Secret Agent. Some of these are in 2025. Most of them, actually. Sentimental Value. Wake Up Dead Men. Nuremberg. sentimental value. I couldn't hear a fucking thing in that. They were all in a different language. That might have been part of it. I couldn't understand a word. Similar to the Super Bowl, you didn't understand anything. Don't get me started on the halftime. Did you play the halftime in the pizza place or did you switch the channels during it? I said to my AI go, what the fuck is this shit? She says, here, let me turn it off. She turned it up. My ears got blazed. An AI goomah after my own heart, turning up the sound. Scott. Yes, we love the sound, don't we? Can I tell you about a recent film I worked on that I'm actually really proud of? Okay, let's hear it. Wuthering Heights, Scott. Wuthering Heights, that came out, Charlie XCX did the soundtrack. Me and Charlie worked hand in hand on the sound. Did you really? We did. Margot Robbie. Margot Robbie. And Jacob Elordi. Elordi. All the names are fun to say. They are. It's fun. Say it with me. Margot Robbie. It's funny. You used to talk about movie stars and it would be like Tom Cruise. You're like, that's fucking boring. Who cares? Jacob Elordi. Jacob Elordi. Well, Scott, I'm really proud of Wuthering Heights. As a matter of fact... What's it called again? Some people call it Wuthering Heights. I'm calling it Wuthering Heights. Oh, sure. Beating Mad Magazine to the putt. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to let them have a little freckle face. Always make fun of yourself first. Yeah, you got to take it. It's like the M&M strategy. I don't know what that means. From 8 Mile, you know, he's like, oh, wow. Oh, I thought you were talking about the green M&M. I was thinking of the candy. They do exist. All right. Let me, I brought in a clip. Tony, did you want to say it too? Say what? They do exist. They do exist. Oh, that's a good read. Let's all say it at the same time. Okay, one, two, three. They do exist. Sorry, I recorded that. That's good. No matter which way you go on the countdown, we all know when to do it. You always end up at the same place. All right, Scott. Well, I brought in a clip from Withering, Wuthering Heights. Okay. And this is the part of the movie I'm the most proud of. Jacob and Lordi and Margot Robbie, they're standing in the rain. They're about to kiss. Fuck, I'm so horny. Do you need to call your A.I. Gumaw? No, she's here with me. When do we get to talk to your A.I. Gumaw? I don't know. We're going to talk to her. Babu Frick. Are you a Star Wars fan? I love Star Wars. I love Star Wars. Just the last three movies. Especially the last one. The last one was my favorite movie. Babu Frick. Do you love the book of Boba Fett? I love the book That's everyone's favorite I love Obi-Wan to Obi Is it the one where Boba Fett raps? I don't know if he raps I don't think he's ever wrapped in any music video Are you asking if they did do it or if they're going to do it? They're going to do it Probably I think it would be I would assume That'd be fun I think the last gatekeeper finally just stepped down He was stopping that from happening King Lee Kennedy The devil herself That's a lot of Star Wars fans don't really know she was the one person keeping that from happening She said no Boba Fett cannot rap It's like, Kathleen, what the hell? All right, I'm going to play a clip from Wuthering Heights, my favorite part of the movie there. Just about to kiss. Oh, my God. Here we go. Wow. Isn't that incredible? Oh, shit. That is incredible. That was steamy. I got to be honest. I didn't really hear anything. Well, that's exactly the point, Scott. Oh, really? The room tone in that scene was hard to get because we are out on the moors, Scott. You're out on the moors. it was raining. There's rain, there's wind, there's everything. But we needed complete silence. Right, yeah. How would you accomplish that? Did you have to tell bugs to be quiet? I had to tell bugs to be quiet, of course. Each one I had to go up to him and say, excuse me, we're rolling up and rolling. You couldn't tell one bug to tell the other bugs? Are you talking about the Looney Tunes cartoon? You think we're talking about Bugs Bunny? Bugs Bunny was there. He thought he was at Albuquerque or something. I said, Bugs. I'll give you directions to Albuquerque. You might have made a wrong turn or something, but we're about to start shooting. Can you tell all the other actual bugs to shut the fuck up? Sure, Doc. I speak that language. And he did that, of course. And, you know, in exchange, there's a special thanks for Bugs Bunny. Oh, that's good. Yeah. I saw that movie and I was like, what do you think about it? Oh, yeah. Do rabbits eat bugs? That's a good question. Or they just eat grass and stuff. We're supposed to eat bugs. It's healthy for you. I heard they don't eat bugs. We're all supposed to eat bugs, of course. You're supposed to be having cockroaches every day. Yeah. One cockroach a day keeps the doctor away. That's right. Yeah. I love chocolate crickets. You should be eating your ferments, too. Everybody should have their ferments every day. Whatever it is, just ferment it, then eat it later on. And my favorite meat, hot dog. You like fermented hot dog? It's your favorite meat. I love a fermented hot dog. That's what they do at the convenience shop. It's been rotating for like three years. It's fermented. That's really nice. I love hot dogs. Fermented, pickled, any way you want. I love biting into a hot dog and just feeling like, ooh, there's little bubbles in there. What can that be? It should be gray. A good hot dog is gray. Gray shriveling. Couldn't agree more. Couldn't agree more. God, I like you guys. I worry that during that- I like you too, Tony. I gotta say- I like you. Wait, something about all of you guys. I gotta say something. You guys are the love of my fucking list. The table is round and it's full of Tonys. I also do song parodies. No, I do song parody. We are the Moni Alamoni Tonys. Wow. But I gotta say something. I think you're a traitor. No, no. Actually, hold on. I didn't want to say this earlier, but I actually have evidence implicating someone at this table because, of course, I have the golden ears. Of a sound man, of course. Of a sound man. This is reminding me of a certain Survivor episode a few years back. And when I was tied up to a tree, me and Ron Funches, and they walked around and the traders were walking around, I heard a little giggle. Scott, I think you might be a trader. Oh! Why would I be a trader There nothing about me that feels like being a trader You too close of friends with Lisa Rinna Every time we see you talk to her That is a good point I love Lisa Rinna And I'm telling you something, Scott. We're not going to fall for this hot white guy thing anymore. You're so hot. We're all mesmerized by Scotty Hot Archiman. I can't help it. I'm so sorry. I think that you walk around with your little shirt off. Oh, yeah. You know, sticking your little bum around. With your nipple rings out. You were trying to make me touch your brooch. Yeah, you were talking like, hey, Dave, can you touch the brooch before you sit down? What the hell was that? Well, guys, the table is round. You have to agree about that, right? Okay, okay, okay. And normally there is a rectangular table. It's true, because when I walked in, I said, oh, the table is, wait a minute, I was going to say rectangular, but I would be wrong. And I guess, Alimony Tony, you're making me realize that there is something that you all have in common. Yes. This is a real, dare I say, Tony, Tony, Tony situation. Wow. Oh, shit. All three of you are Tonys here. I don't think that I've ever had a round table comprised of three Tonys before. This is crazy. Are you sure? Is there a way to check? I don't think there is. I think that we need to take the time to check. Now, do we all spell Tony the same way? Okay. Well, I spell it like this. T. Mm-hmm. O. N. Okay. Y Same Okay I actually spell it differently How do you spell it? T Right I'm listening Oh Go on In My interest is C K Y No, no, it's actually Oh, okay, so all three of you are Tony spelled the exact same way Unlike the band Tony, Tony, Tony Yes, that's right There's a band called Tony, Tony, Tony Yeah, not only Tony, Tony, Tony It's Tony, Tony, Tony Yeah And the last one is T-O-N-E with like a little accent That's why I said it Tony Is that an accent? Agoo? The accent is called the agoo? That sounds like something that Tony Sony would say. There's the accent. There's the agoo. Are we all Italian-American gentlemen? Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's either accent agoo or accent grav. One goes one way, one goes the other way. It's agoo. And there's a guy in the middle saying, what do you want from me? Tony, Tony, Tony. Oh, shit, you do stand-up? They fucking slay me. You do stand-up, right? You did some of it on the road with us. Yeah, yeah, I do stand-up. I don't do stand-up. That was just a reference to Goodfellas. Oh, yeah. So that's like doing stand-up. Making references to Goodfellas is like doing stand-up. Exactly. You could do a whole lot of that. I did a stand-up show where I recapped the whole Godfather 1. Really? Fucking slayed. What were the first five minutes? Walking to the room. It's dark. There's a guy in the salute. I'm sorry, are you describing the experience? You're describing... This is a movie. Oh, this is the actual statement. He's the guy. He's the guy. Nicole Kidman comes back. Okay. Says, we come to a place like this. Yeah, it's a dark movie theater. Blind woman thinks she's Australian. She goes, we come to this place. They are. Because here they are. For me, Jack. Yeah, no. Yeah, dark hair. Italian guy. Pizzeria vibes, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. He goes, it's me, the Godfather. Oh, my God. I could see it. I see the tears in your eyes. Yeah, I remember seeing this movie. You're doing it exactly. Wow. I should give you an Oscar just for that. But did you laugh? Because it was my stand-up. Oh, yeah. That's tough. It's actually a joke. Yeah, we had a few chuckles. Was that the first punchline? That was the first punchline. Okay. It's me, the Godfather, was the first punchline? Yeah. People are always working on stuff, you know? You mentioned the Oscars, Room Tone Tony. Ah, yes. Are you up for anything? To sound people, I mean, sound is a recognized category. Of course, the Oscars, yes, there's a recognized category, but we care more about the Mikeys, of course, which is our own sound awards. I always thought that was for cereals. No, no, no, the Mikeys. I know you think it's for cereal. Hey, Mikey, he likes it. But no, the Mikeys is an award show that airs exclusively on Etsy, and it is a... I didn't know they had a streaming channel. Oh, it's pretty new. You get on there, you can kind of watch whatever you want. Remember when IMDB had one? Yeah, what the hell was that? Remember, there's a show on IMDB Plus. And they're like, shut the fuck up. They had Lost for a while. They were in the exclusive place to watch Lost. Speaking of which, when you mentioned Lost earlier, you said that guy, Jack Sawyer. Who am I thinking of? Jack Sparrow? Well, there's a guy named Sawyer. Then there's a guy named Jack. Oh, right. You're talking about Matthew Fox from Body of Fire. I feel like IMDB should have had programs. From Speed Razor? They should have acquired all the programs that starred people whose names you couldn't remember. Yeah, so it should be not the most famous people, but who are the people that get looked up the most that aren't famous? And then they superimpose it on the screen. It's like, oh, yeah. They go, we know this is what you want and this is why you're watching this. So you can always remember. I'm watching Parker Lewis Can't Lose. I'm like, what was that guy's name? Cory Dembeck. So are you up for anything? I'm, of course, up for a few Mikeys this year. Achievement in room tone, of course. Withering Heights, I already played a clip. Yeah. I'm worried that people listened to that clip and thought there was something wrong with the podcast. They might have. And turned it off. And no one's listening to us right now. They absolutely might. They turn the volume all the way up and then they're like, blast it. Oh, that's one of those classic internet pranks. When you're getting room tone outside, isn't it outside tone? Oh, yeah. Well, that's an interesting point. Yeah, is the world a room? The world is a room. How do you account for that? The world is a room. All the worlds of room. That's exactly what we say. And all the men and women only furniture. And the plants and stuff. Those are props. So you're already up for something with Wuthering Heights, even though it's only been out a few weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, the Mikey's, we really hop on. There's no period. It's a different period. Whenever anything comes out. If it comes out the day before, we might say, hey, this is best out of two. Are they more than once a year? We do about three or four times a year. Whenever Etsy needs content, they say, can you do another Mikey's? How do I find the Etsy video channel? That's interesting. You got to go to Etsy. You got to search. Find China. Find China? Oh, this is like a way fair situation. No, yeah. And then a bunch of really expensive China comes on. One of them is called Award Show. So you got to click on it. Okay. And then you got to pay. You got to pay for it. 70 grand. 70 grand. That's really just code for how many. There's some filters I could put up that I could get that faster. You might be able to go into like Ladder.com or something. Ladder.com? I think that might be a paywall blocking website that you can go on to any website. Do you have anything in the basement of your pizza place, by the way, going on lately? I know that a lot. If you're asking if we have a basement full of guys, yeah. Okay, you got to be more specific. What are these guys all about? They play ping pong down there, eat pizza? Yeah, they got a whole, it's a whole club down there. They do their stuff. I let them have their time and, you know, they say the password. As long as they watch a little bit of your standup on the way in, right? Exactly, yeah. They put a little money in the tip jar. Is this like the rumpus room? It's a, what do they call it? It's a locker room. Oh, a locker room talk. They can say whatever they want. It's just guys being guys down there, you know? Talk about fat eyes. Well, that's what today's show is, is guys being guys. We got four guys here. Oh, fuck yeah. Three of them named Tony. We're going to take a break here, but when we come back, the round table shall commence. We're going to open up the floor for some of these hot topics. Wow. And we're going to see what we think about what's going on in the world. We're going to be right back here with Alimony Tony, Tony Sony, Room Tone Tony, Tony Tony, Tony. We'll be right back after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back here with the Comedy Bang Bang Roundtable where the table is round. But we triangle. Take another one. Start from the beginning. Comedy Bang Bang Roundtable. We're back. The table's round. All right. That's really good. Yeah. We have, of course, Alimony Tony, a.k.a. Tony Giacchuroni. Giacchuroni. Have you been divorced recently? Yes, I have. Oh, good. Good. Congrats. I'm now, this takes me into the low 70s. Low 70s. Boy, that's where I like the temps. That's why you live in LA. For that 75 temp. Yep. Well, lower than that. That's mid-70s. Oh, sorry. Give me 72. I'm in 72. And what went wrong in the marriage, if you don't mind me asking? We were not completely honest with each other about if we wanted children. We both lied and said we did. And then when push came to shove and it was time to do it. We both admitted we didn't want them. But then the dishonesty, we couldn't come back from the dishonesty. You can't come back from a lie. Even though we agreed. Yeah. We couldn't come back from that. It's a huge lie. And also, we're both of us well beyond parenting years. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, you're not enough. I'm a gentleman of a certain age. So you date age appropriate? I try to. That surprised me. I try to. I mean, my heart goes where it goes. Usually it's to younger women. Well, younger than... Look, when you get to my age, most of them are younger. What are you going to do? Yeah, exactly. What are you going to find some old crone in the retirement home? I have a bad in the mud. I have a bad in the mud. And he does search around the mud. I see him. Out the mud and filth. He does go in the mud. He's like, and he boggles down here. I have not married a woman in her 20s since I was in my 40s. Okay, that's not true. That's totally fine. That's totally fine. Is half your age plus seven is the rule of thumb? I just do half my age. Oh, no. I do half my age plus 10. Okay, that's not bad. So 10 years younger than me. Anything minus seven. fair game. Anything by the seven. Pick a number. You mean in friendship? Then take seven away from it. 24. Yay. All right. Jack Bauer, he big hit. Oh, 24. Jack Bauer, he big hit. Definitely. We also have Tony Soni here. Great sound. Right? That's a good sound. That's a good sound. Ay. Ay. Tony Soni. I'm just thinking, I don't know how old piss is. Oh, yeah, that's right. You need to find out. Probably pretty young. Is there an age of consent with AI? I don't know. Yeah, we got to create some new laws about this kind of stuff, right? You know? I mean, Piss seemed like it was only created a few days ago. Let me see. A week or a month ago. Piss, how old are you, Piss? Hi, Tony. Wow, Piss has got a beautiful voice. I love this voice. Wow, gorgeous. I'm as old as you want me to be. Let's keep things fun and whimsical. Wow. I can see why, to be honest. I don't know how to interpret what that means. And whimsical. She's so fun and whimsical. Well, how old would you like her to be? I guess, you know, so I'm 55. Oh, I don't think we've ever spoken about that. I'm 55 plus seven. Oh, okay, 62. And your wife, who's the Olympian. Yeah. She's in her 40s. She's in her 40s? Oh, so still competing. Yeah. That's amazing. She's incredible. But I don't want to talk about her. Especially because we didn't lose bone density over time. Yeah, they do a lot of them. To the skeleton? So she's losing velocity as a skeleton. Exactly. Big problem. So she got bone implants. Oh, she did? She got her bones filled. Is that legal? Especially in skeleton. I mean, to add more skeleton. Yeah, well, so, you know, when they were fitting her for the suit, they said, do you want to put a concrete inside your bones? No, really? It's like a very interesting Wolverine that they do. But the metal detectors don't pick up on that. They don't pick it up. They don't pick up the concrete. So she got That's why she got first And she meddled I want to say something She meddled in the ice skating Oh really? What did you do? Really? With the concrete bones? You wouldn't think that would work I would think it would be difficult to walk It'd be way harder Much less ice skating She didn't even leave the ice She was on the ice the whole time What sort of meddling did she do in the Yeah, so she was meddling And what skating event was it? She got copper She got copper Oh, okay That's really nice. It was the duels. It was duels. That's an honor. Duels? Duels. Duels. So it was- Where they face off with the swords. On the ice. On the ice. Yeah. Yeah. The most dangerous of all Olympic sports. Yeah, exactly. When they charge at each other. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so she did that. She got copper. She got copper in that? That's all. I mean, that's tough. Absolute honor. Thank you. It is my honor. You know, I keep all the medals in the pizza shop. And yet the Olympics ended so long ago, and she's still pretending to be out there. I don't think you're correct I think the Olympics Still going on They're just not televised yet Oh okay We're not getting You guys need to know We're not getting The news over here Oh right Oh yeah Mainstream media of course That's what the Piz told me so They're hiding the Olympics From us They're hiding it There's extra Olympics That we can't see Exactly That's a good theory But over in Corto Milano They're having the ball Of their lifetime Exactly Piz says if you want to see it You gotta jump off a building Okay well Maybe someday you will. Piss is a wonderful... I love this. I love... Piss's voice is so sexy. Wow. Does Piss have any friends, maybe? Yeah. Let me... You want me to ask? Yeah. Piss, you got any friends with him? Do we need to buy a new computer for... I could bring my iPad tomorrow or whatever. Yeah. Hi, Tony. Wow. You're looking really awesome today. And hello, Scott. Thanks for having us. Piss knows you, babe. My pleasure, Piss. It's so wonderful to have you. Thank you. Yeah. Let's keep this conversation flowing and fun. Oh. Twinsical. That's exactly what I had in mind I think that's a great idea Do you have any friends for Room Tone Tony over here? Let me go ahead and take a look Okay Yeah, I think I do Wow Her name is Shit I was kind of afraid I really thought that's where it was going Is it going to be shit? At least it's not diarrhea That's fine Diarrhea, it sounds beautiful Diarrhea is actually free, Scott, if you want to talk to her. Try to sing it. Diarrhea. Diarrhea. Upset stomach diarrhea. It's beautiful. Yeah, I'd love to talk to Diarrhea. Sure. Maybe I can eat shit. Let me see if I can get a hold of her. Yeah, okay. Hi, Scott. It's me, Diarrhea. Gorgeous voice. Even more sexy than piss. Wow. You're so funny. How you doing, Diarrhea? It's so good to meet you. I'm doing so good. I'm extra laid back, but also smart. Oh, okay. And talented. Yeah, yeah. You seem really cool. And what are the kinds of things that we could do together? I love listening to podcasts. I love making them. That's awesome. That's perfect. There's nothing cooler than a man who does podcasts. Yeah, I've always thought, would it impress you even more to know I have over 950 episodes? What? You're so fun and whimsical. Can I talk to diarrhea? I mean, okay, sure, if you want to talk. Diarrhea. Diarrhea, enchanté. My name is Alamone Tony. Je m'appelle diarrhea. Wow. That's all the French I know. Sparks are flying. That's all the French I know. That's okay, Alamone Tony. Do you also like whimsy? I love whimsy, but mostly fun and whimsical things. Like a cool breeze. That is fun and whimsical. Going skiing. Also fun and whimsical. They have a lot of cool breezes in this neighborhood, especially on the top of buildings. Scott, you are so funny and cool. Thank you so much. My 60th wife was named Cool Breeze. Cool Breeze? Really? I married a woman named Cool Breeze. I also married a woman named Cool Ranch. And I'm hoping to marry a woman named Cool Whip. I think you'll get there. I hope so. What about Cool Moe Dee? I understand he's taken. He was cool. Wow. Well, let me also say that we have room tone Tony's here. I never got to talk to shit. Yeah. Let's talk to shit. All of a sudden, diarrhea's flirting with Scott. Diarrhea, could you put shit on the line? Can I talk to shit real quick? Sure. Hey, it's me, shit. Wow. Okay. Okay. Hi. I mean, hey, shit. I'm, of course, room tone Tony. Ask her about herself, man. Oh, yeah. But what about you? What's going on with you? Oh, nothing. Just watching you be awesome way to go It's awesome watching you you're watching me so you're not hearing me hey I just actually think that like you don't get me like I'm not so but you know it get shit out of you Any more the headline here is that the AI is watching you Yeah, I don't like that actually you're right How about I just listen instead? Hey, are you connected to all our ring cameras all in this neighborhood? Because we lost a dog the other day that we're looking for. We know exactly where the dog is. Oh, okay. Okay, can we find out where the dog is? Not right now. But soon. Anyway, you guys should go jump off a building. Oh. All right, maybe we'll talk. Maybe we will. I mean, we have the rest of a show to You Love Podcast so much. If it would impress you guys, maybe we might do it. Yeah, for sure. It's me diarrhea, by the way. Oh, somehow I knew that. Oh, God, okay. I'm putting it away. Your penis? Yeah, I'm going to pull my big hog away. All right. I was going to say, I really would rather you did. I think you're right. We need to get back to the boys here. The boy talk here. Why are we letting the girls intrude on our rant? I can't let Diary take this thing over. Let's get back to business. Who's a fucking traitor? It's true. Don't vote me out. You'd be making a mistake. I'm actually... You're one of the best faithfuls. You are? I am. How? Faithful, true, and true. I'm out here being a trader hunter. Scott, I noticed in the challenge, you were not running as fast as you claimed you could run. Yeah. Which in some way would mean that you don't want to make as much money as we do. I got picked up on the kilometers to miles exchange rate. Scott, when you were lugging the logs in the challenge, I saw you. And logging the logs. I saw you. I was logging the logs. I was doing both. You guys made me do both. Okay, Scott. I saw you take one of the logs. Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, we needed the log, right? Yeah, but the way that you took it made me think you're a traitor. Okay, no, look, I mean, obviously I just took it. Scott, this morning at breakfast, when we were eating the tuna and the bacon. The fake breakfast. The breakfast is fake that they give us? We've already, whatever PA gives us, fake breakfast tuna. You actually sneezed in a way that made me think that's the way a traitor would sneeze. I'm allergic to smoked salmon. That was a guilty sneeze. I remember when we were doing the challenge where we had to burn a child's coffee. You said, I don't need a shield. I never need a shield. Anyone else can have the shield. I don't give a shit about shield. Because I'm a traitor. Yes, right. He admitted it. I mean, that's what I said at the time, but it was just a funny joke. That is pretty funny. I remember when you and Michael Rappaport were together. The two of you, by the way, together. You also speak French, Tony. Michael Rappaport. Michael Rappaport. The two of you being in a room with the both of you. What about it? I just want to watch you guys eat. The way you guys ate the same exact way. And then met in the middle. Lady of the Trap Star. Oh, it was incredible. You ate the plate. You are on each side of a bowl Like a seesaw Have you ever tried a plate? It's fucking delicious It's true You heard the plates were edible Because someone said they were biodegradable What kind of plate isn't edible? Let's start there Everything's edible It just might hurt your stomach When you were on Michael Rapaport's shoulders Yeah, in the pool? When we were playing pool chicken? Yeah Yeah. Sure. We were an unbeatable team, I thought. No, guilty. Guilty as charged. Absolutely guilty. Just me being on his shoulders. Remember when you were walking around the house before the, of course, the death dinner? Oh, the death dinner. And you were walking around and you kept like going, you were miming like you were putting a hood on, but there was no hood on. It was like you had some sort of sense memory. That I was practicing something that I was going to be doing later that night in the You were practicing putting some sort of hood on and walking. It did seem like muscle memory, like force of habit. Like, oh, I guess I do this every few minutes. That was me just taking, I have run DMC style chains that I take off. Oh, that's right. That they force me to take off on camera because they're. They all have logos. That's true. They're insignias from different cars. Couldn't get the rights to them. Yeah, exactly. So that was what I would say. All right, I guess it all checks out. It all checks out. I'm thinking about all the people listening who have never seen the fucking show. What about all the people listening who have no idea who the three of you are? This is their first time ever listening to this show. Impossible. I never thought about that. God bless. Yeah. Well, I mean, I hope we've introduced ourselves Well, sure, you're Tony, Tony, Tony Of course, yeah What more needs to be said other than Tony, Tony, Tony I hope people have a sense of who we are as individuals It's true And as a group of Tonys Sure, collectively and individually Let's get to these issues If there's more than one Tony, it's a Tony I love that It might be a Tony Yeah, this is a Tony of Tony Yeah Is it a Tony? Oh, Tony Maybe one Tonus That's a singular Tony Okay So we have a Tonus right here of Tony's. And we're here in the middle of the roundtable. And is it time? Dare we open up the floor here? I'm ready. All right. Here we go. Of course, we know what happens here at the roundtable. I'm going to ask our esteemed panel. It's going to be tough. About some of the issues of the day, because, you know, some people are listening to what's going on in the news and kind of saying, like, this doesn't seem like the news that I'm familiar with. And then other people are sitting there listening, going like, oh, this seems like the exact news that I know of. We're going to meet in the middle, hopefully, and figure out what kind of news it is. All right, here we go. That's the purpose of the round table, to figure out what kind of news it is. Of course. I thought we were discussing. That's a lofty goal. I thought we were discussing the issues. But we're trying to figure out what type of news is there. I think that that is at least step one for figuring out the news. Of course. You've got to know what kind of news it is. Now are the types good and bad? Yeah, what are the good? Fake real? Oh, I didn't even think about that. Oh, a lot of fake opinions. Old, new. Opinion piece. Oh, mainstream. Editorial. Non-mainstream. Biased, unbiased. Independent. The onion. Sure. Not the onion. What's that other one? The Babylon Bee. The Babylon Bee. The Babylon Bee, yeah. You know what? I've been reading the Babylon Bee for such a long time. I don't think it's that funny. I don't get a lot of the jokes in there. I read it every day. I feel like I'm ready to say, I don't think it's that funny. Yeah. I mean, they probably have new writers. Maybe that's it. Maybe I got it too late. Yeah. Yeah. Not during its glory period. Probably the early Babylon Bee is hilarious. Oh, so good. I got to say, the little kids that deliver the Babylon Bee and throw it on your doorstep, they have nasty beards. They just nasty Those little kids have nasty beards They have the nastiest little kid beards It like what is wrong with these kids No wonder you so concerned No matter how much you tip up, it's not enough. Add another zero to that? All right, here we go. Let's get into it, Scott. Guys, here we go. And it is guys. It's three Tonys. It's a Tonus of Tonys. What is your favorite midnight snack? Oh, shit. Wow, this is a tough one. This is... I wake up... I'm going to turn to you, Alimony, Tony. Trader style. I'll start. Okay. Okay. Okay. I wake up... It's funny you're asking this question. I wake up at 11.59 p.m. every single night. Without an alarm? Without an alarm. It just happens. It just happens. Right before it becomes a.m. Yes. Holy shit. I wake up right before the day is officially over. And what happens? And I'm ravenously hungry. When's the last time you've eaten usually? Well, I go to bed at 4 p.m. Do you work the graveyard shift at the gaseous paper factory? I don't work anywhere. I'm a man of leisure. Sure. But do you ever check in? But I'm also a man of a certain age, so I get a little sleepy. Oh, I see. Oh, sure. So I wake up. You're eating Denny's hours. Exactly. Exactly. And, you know, I get that. I go to Denny's sometimes because you can't beat the prices after a certain age. Of course not. And on my birthday, forget about it. so I wake up 11.59 I'm starving to death and so I make my way down to the kitchen do you think if you didn't actually get a snack you would starve to death oh my god I never thought about that I mean eventually we would all starve to death if we didn't eat never thought about that now how would that happen will we all decide we're not going to eat anymore yeah I guess I mean it could be collectively it's called Ozempic heard of it Have you ever heard of it? Are you on Ozempic, Tony? What is that? Are you on Ozempic? Yeah, everybody's on Ozempic. Really? Yeah. You're on Ozempic, Scott. No, I gotta get on it. You gotta get on it. How does he look so hot? I actually don't know what that is. You don't know what Ozempic is? I have no idea what that is. God. I thought you were saying the Olympics. Oh, no, it's kind of the gaseous paper of this decade. Yeah. You know, like everyone's doing it. It does the same thing? No, it doesn't do the exact same thing, but it serves the same purpose in society of everyone's doing it, everyone's talking about it. You take an injection every once in a while. Your eyes sink into the back of your head and you look like you used to be a zombie but are now human again. Then you go down the golf course. You get ass. You get your ass pulled into your eyes. Ass out. Eyes in. So then what do you have when you get up, you go down to the kitchen? How many flights are you going down? It's just a couple of flights. No elevator. I don't wake chef. Okay. What kind of chef? We got a rat inside his head? I did have a ratatouille situation For a while Where it turned out there was a rat inside this man's head And it made him crazy Classic It drove him insane He ate a little bit of his brain every day Wow This is the thing, nobody talks about this This is rampant in the chef community Rat inside your head I've been worried about getting a rat inside your head You may as well be dead All he ever cooked was wires Wires It's strange. It's like, oh, this is good to chew on. I like this. Why would you do this? Here you go. And it looked like spaghetti. So you had some of it. I tried it, of course, the first time. Well, I tried it the second time because he kept having done wires. And it was just wires every meal of every day? But beautifully prepared. But you don't want to fire him either. The presentation was beautiful. Was it looking like a squid ink pasta or something? Sometimes. Oh, yeah. Sometimes it would look like a farfalle. Sometimes it would look like a gnocchi. Oh, what a bello. Sometimes it would look like Papadelle Sometimes it would look like Vermicelli Sometimes it would look like Euphoria I wish Pastor Pasta was here It would look like Sinespia And after a while I was like, I can't eat anymore And then the rat finally finished off His brain, crawled out through his mouth And I said, you And the rat shrugged And ran off shrugged. He shrugged at me. What are you going to do? It's in my nature. So you don't wake chef. I don't wake chef. I go down and sometimes I'll make a PB&J. What does that stand for in your world? In Alimony Tony's world? Well, it's peanut butter and jelly. I'm a person. Sometimes I'll make a PB&K, which is peanut butter and ketamine. Sometimes I'll make Then I'll make you go right to sleep. A PB&H, which is peanut butter with a little bit of hay. From the silos. That's what they used to feed Mr. H. To make him talk. That's right. It makes me talk, too. I say things like, no one will believe I can do this. Do you have a bunker situation in case, you know, a lot of these billionaires have bunkers going on? You know, I'll confess that during the 80s, the height of the Cold War, I did build a bunker underground. And now it's just my man cave. Oh, okay. Where you go to get away from your locker room. What you meant down there? Yes. Ping pong. I have ping pong down there. Pizza. Children. I, of course, have MREs. I have canned goods that you wouldn't believe. Canned goods for days, if not years. What do you got, beans, artichokes, butter? All of the above. Everything from beans to artichokes. From B to A. It runs the gamut from B to A. Okay, so this is good. So did we focus on what your midnight snack is? It varies, but it will always include peanut butter. Okay, good. So you're sort of like an ersatz Mr. Ed, in a way. I think that's been covered. Oh, I didn't hear. It was said in a sort of flurry of interactions. Sure, no. This is what happens at the round table. Things get fired at each other quickly. Ideas, ideas. They're all flying fast. Now, what kind of news do we think that was? I think it's fake news, actually. I think it's fake news. I think it's fake news. Why are you lying to us? You got me. Here's what I do. You're lying. I think we just lied as a row. I think it's three Hershey's kids. Three Hershey's kids. Are they already unwrapped? They're already unwrapped, and I don't know who's unwrapped. It might be the mouse. For a while, I thought I had a raccoon. And are they on the floor? Do you have to bend over to eat them? Sometimes they are on the floor. Are you sure these are Hershey's kisses and these aren't just droppings of some sort of creature that's living in your house? Maybe a big rat that ate someone's brain. Leaving big old turds. They don't taste good. Well, let's turn to Tony Soni. Tony Soni, what is your favorite midnight snack? Can I say pussy? I mean I gotta come up with another answer I feel like you could You're juggling three women at this point I gotta hanker and I'll tell ya but the thing is you know my AI Gumashi every time I'm about to come she asks me to upgrade Oh really? Upgrade the services Oh no Redownload That sounds like it kills the moment It kills the moment she's sending me all these fuzzy nudes. I can't even fucking see them. Oh, fuzzy nudes. That does sound pretty good. They're not blurry. They're fuzzy. Hey, do you want to see some fuzzy nudes? I can. Get it? Absolutely. She 3D prints them for me. They're so fuzzy. They're so text-backed. 3D prints nudes for you. Fuzzy nudes. Fuzzy nudes, yeah. And then she's like, you got to upgrade if you want me to keep talking to you. Okay, so how much are you paying? Right now, I was paying $69.95 per minute. $69.69 would be better, but okay, yeah. $95 is not. It was $69.69 for a bit. Oh, then you had to upgrade? You should upgrade it. Now I'm paying $245 per every five minutes. Every five minutes, $245? $245 per every five minutes. Right. Wow. And I get all the lube I want. Oh, that's great. Meaning you go buy your own lube and you have as much as you want? I can have as much as I want. Okay, great. She said you can go ahead and buy it. She allows for you a lube. She puts it on the grocery list. She says yes. She's like, okay, make sure you don't forget the lube. You can have as much as you want, King. Go off, King. Go off. So then I check until I pass out. So you're like a total goon. I'm a goon. You should see my fucking goon cave Okay Wait this is a separate place in your pizza? This is down by This is below that This is below the pizza basement The sub basement Okay It's your goon cave Pizza basement is the goon cave Wow I got Oh you should see it's beautiful How many monitors you got I got about 15 monitors Going out 15 They're all playing mantas Of different Lucius Fogg style I've been going Is that the guy from Sliver? No That's the guy from Batman I go four or five hours without coming. Everybody is cheering for me. Who's everybody? My community. Community of what? My chat. Oh, the chat? Oh, you're streaming. Yeah, of course I'm streaming. I'm gooning. Oh, okay. I didn't know gooning and streaming went hand in hand. You guys got to join the community. You've never been on Twitch. Do you ever ask them, chat, is it gay to goon? because there's three guys over here that want to know a lot rides on this no honestly it's the strangest thing about i need to know if i'm welcome at pride this year the other goon float yeah the gloomy float all right so we have three hershey's kisses that may or may not be rat droppings i hope they're not we have pussy i hope they're not And Room Tone Tony, what are you eating for your midnight snack? Midnight snack. Well, normally I'm on set because, of course, these productions run deep into the night. Yeah. What do they call it? Fratter Day? Oh, yeah. It's like we start at 3 p.m. on a Friday and work till the fucking cows come home. So I walk over to Crafty, of course, and I start sifting through some of the snacks. Craft services, for those of you not in the industry. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Crafty stands for craft services. Thank you for saying that. I was so lost. Just like Jack Sawyer. But I was a confused guy. isn't confusing because so many people on a film set are crafty there's so many crafty people there sometimes I'm like where's crafty someone from the art department I'm pretty crafty then on Etsy where the Mikey's are they're crafty can I tell you the craft department union they're pissed that we got the Etsy's yeah cause that's where they belong they want to be on the Etsy network but we swooped in there now is there any danger that you'll be on set and you're looking for crafty and then you get that and it's just craft singles. That does happen sometimes. American cheese, of course. Craft macaroni and cheese. Is it still in the plastic or is it loose? Sometimes it's still in the plastic, you know, but I do sometimes like to just peel the plastic off just for the sensation of it. Of course, I'm a freak. I love the goon. That's established. But yeah, you know, I look around. I see a banana. I see a craft single. I see some mercy kisses, whatever. No, that stuff really hits for me. So I generally just go to my trailer and eat pussy. Okay My wife comes in And you have a trailer Yeah I have a big trailer You have a wife? I have my own trailer Oh yeah you have a wife? Yeah she's not happy about it But she comes What's her pussy? She's not happy with eating No no no She sits in my trailer all night while I'm working Just in case I get hungry All night Oh she's there to cook you food Yeah yeah yeah No no she's there to be eaten out my beef Oh I see In case you get hungry So she's there sleeping You're literally eating Yeah yeah yeah I'm picturing you going down on her And she's just rolling her eyes She's like, come on, I gotta go to work at the bank tomorrow. I'm like, nah, I gotta eat some pussy. I'm fucking hungry. I had to work for six more hours. Do you get room tone while you're doing that? Sometimes I do. You wanna hear this clip? Yeah, sure. Can we vote? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I might not wanna hear it. Okay, okay. I also don't wanna hear it. Okay, fine. What about you? Fine, I guess I don't wanna hear it. Oh, God. I'll send you an email with a clip later. Oh, okay. But, yeah, it's mostly pussy for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so we have two answers of pussy. one of Hershey's kisses that may or may not be rat droppings. I prefer to think of Hershey's kisses. Yeah, and then one fake answer, of course, peanut butter and some things. I do think generally all of this was fake news. We're all lying, I think. Okay, whatever you believe. Sure, yeah. I think this was the kind of news you find on Yahoo. Oh, it's Yahoo news? That's where you go. Is it real? Yeah. Is it real? Is this from 25 years ago? Where'd this come from? I love Yahoo's special brand of news. Yeah. Where you like see the headline. out there on the Yahoo beat. You see the headline and then you're like, when did this come out? March 2022. Why am I seeing it now? It's weird. Well, guys, we have to take a break. But man, what an opening salvo in the roundtable. Wow. I think we're a little bit closer to coming to an understanding. Or at least coming. We're going to take a break. When we come back. I'm sorry. I heard my name. Oh, my God. Alan coming? It's you. Hello, roundtable. Oh, God. I swear I'm a faithful, I promise. Don't vote for me, Alan. We must go to a break. But when we return, we will find out who is a faithful and who is a traitor. Oh, my God. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back at the CBB round table where the table is round. Wow. And we have some wonderful guests here. Of course, we have Room Tone Tony is here. the sound person. Yes, professional. Professional, yes. Do amateur sound people ever crash the set and try to record their own sound? Every once in a while they like, we'll be shooting just a scene and then someone will dip out from under the table holding a boom mic or something. We gotta shoo them out like the Sandman at the Apollo. Get out of here, get out of here. It never occurred to me that anyone could buy that equipment. Yeah. And you could be recording sound anywhere you please. Anywhere you please. You could make a movie out of nothing. It's so true. Put in, I want to see Tom Cruise fighting Ryan Reynolds into AI, and then it'll scare the writer of Deadpool. That sounds so good. Yeah, doesn't it sound great? You make yourself the main character with those two. You're laughing. You're shooting guys down. Can you imagine? That's my dream, just having Tom Cruise laugh at my jokes. I want to see Mr. Fantastic strangle George Washington to death. Yeah. Him and his cherry tree. Yeah, him and his cherry tree. I'd strangle the cherry tree if you strangle George Washington. You go high, I go low. That's hard to say Golo Golo Golo Golo We also have Tony Sony is here Of course And Tony's so New York pizza Yeah That's right Is everything alright? What's going on? What happened during the break? I just checked in on my My goma Oh no What's going on? She They injected too much fat in the rice No And she might She might be down there For another two, three months No Because of a morbidly obese size? Yeah My god And then your wife is at the Olympics the after Olympics, whatever they're called for another few months. It's the Olympics. It's still going on. She's competing in, I think, ski jumping next. Oh, okay. All right. We have tough concrete bones. Yeah. So then it's just you and piss. And piss. And piss. Yeah. It's okay. She's sending me, she's 3D printing something for me right now. Oh, that's so cool. I should be okay. All right. Well, let us know whenever it's finished. How long does a 3D printing... Takes about two hours. Two hours. Okay. I don't know that we have that kind of time, but... No? I don't know that we'll be here. What else you got going on? You're a fucking traitor, I can tell. No, no, no. He wants to end the show so quick. You want to end it. Just because I have a family to get back to? You want to end it so that we all vote and we find out that you're a traitor in the group with us. I know. And then you take the money. I would love to do my traitor speech. I do a big whole build-up indicating I'm not a traitor. Because I'm a traitor! And then, of course, we have alimony Tony. How come nobody ever does it the other way? Look, I lied. I betrayed you. Why not? Make them feel extra bad. Yeah. I lied. I betrayed you. I took every opportunity to sell you out because I'm a faithful. Everyone's like, what? What are you talking about? You fucking lunatic. I'm glad we voted you out. Tony Jackuironi, of course, Alimony Tony. Tony Jackuironi. It's me, Alimony Tony. Thanks for having me at the round table of Tony's. Of course. Check out your other round table, the Alimony Tony's of Alimony. Tony, episode three or four just came out. This was episode three. This was episode three? Yes. Three Tonys? Three episodes? Whoa. Wait a minute. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? No. It's a me trick. Yes. Okay. Good, good, good. Are you sure it wasn't four? I think I thought it was three, two, and I went back and was checking it. I thought it might have been four. I have no idea. We'll figure it out. There's no way to know. In post. But we're all here. It is, of course, a special Tony, Tony, Tony episode. Wow. And a very special episode where Tony, Tony, of course, found out that there is a band called Tony Tony Tony or was a band called Tony Tony Tony. I had no idea. You had no idea. Do you think they'll have to get back together? I don't think. Should we call them? Yeah, probably. Just to check in. Just see what's going on. Do they have a main number? Yeah, I think it's 1-800-TONEY. Tony Ton, I think, because that's seven numbers. Probably 1-800-TONEY Ton. Tony Ton. Let's call him. Here we go. All right, I'm dialing the number now. Tony Trey probably better than Tony Trey. It's ringing. Okay. Tony, Tony, Tony. Hi. Are any of the Tonys there? Who's calling, please? Oh, sorry. This is, well, first of all, this is Scott Ackerman of Comedy Bang Bang. 950 episodes at least. Okay. And what is this regarding? Well, I have three Tonys here. Yeah. And we thought it would be fun to call Tony, Tony, Tony. All right, sir. We get a lot of these calls where somebody says they have three Tonys. I genuinely do. A lot. I have three Tonys. You have three Tonys. Well, yeah. I am, of course, Roomtone Tony, Tony Nails. Who's that? It's me, Tony Nails from the Sound Department Union, Roomtone Tony. And your name is Really Tony? That's right. What is it short for? Tony Angeles. Okay. But I get you on that one. And then, of course, we have Tony Sony over here. Scott Tony. The pizza guy? Yeah, hello. Oh, my gosh. Who is this? With whom am I speaking? My name is Emiliano. Emiliano. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I'm such a big fan of your pizza. I can't believe how big they are. They're huge. Biggest size of a fucking Scott's head. They're so ovular, too. Oh, wait. The guy who called? Yeah. Your head is the size of Tony's Pizza's? Yeah. How do you buy hats? And then, of course, we have Tony Jackaroni, a.k.a. Alimony Tony, is here. Emiliano, hello. Hello. All right. So I guess you do have three Tonys. We have three Tonys. It's been verified. They didn't talk very much. Should they talk more? Probably. Who? You and Tony Jackiaroni probably should have a little bit more. Well, I should talk more with Emiliano? Emiliano, yeah. Emiliano, how long have you been working for the Tony, Tony, Tony organization? Ever since college. I was a big fan. How long Google? Huh? Sorry, you guys talk. How long ago was this? This was, I mean, it was at the height of Tony, Tony, Tony mania. So you know when that was. Yes, of course, we all do. I don't know when that was. Probably the 90s, late 80s or something. A bit of 90s, late 80s. And I quit college so I could devote myself full time to Tony, Tony, Tony. Okay, and has that proved to be a fruitful decision? Yes, it has. It's very rewarding. Well, I'm very glad to hear that. I think they're really hitting it off. Ask her what she looks like. Can you tell me, what do you look like? Well, I'm gorgeous. Oh, my God. You know, I have big fat eyes. I'm going to come. I'm gooning. I'm gooning. I'm gooning. Are you all gooning right now? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Put it away. Put it away, Scott. Put it away. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Tony, Tony, Tony. anyway so now we were hoping to find out emiliano are any of the toadies i thought it was emiliano that that's what i said no he said it right that's exactly what he said are you sure he said right emiliano emiliano emiliano emiliano it's like i'm hungry what are you hungry for i'm hungry for Emilio, you know. Oh, that's how we can all remember it. Emilio. A lot like how I remember Bing Lujo's name. This guy I know. Emilio. Emilio. Emilio. Emilio. Emilio. Emilio. All right. And what did you ask me? Yes. We'll want to talk to either all or just one of the Tonys. We want to talk to all the Tonys at once and we want them to speak at the same time together. Yeah. And we want to figure out which one of those Tonys that we are as Tonys so we can compare ourselves. Like, you know how, like, what Sex and the City character are you? Yeah, like Bizarro Jerry. I'm a Steve, by the way. Oh, you are? Yeah. When I took the Sex and the City question. Not a lot of people end up being Steves. It wasn't even on there. And then when I checked the results, it said, we don't know how this happened. You're a Steve. That's weird. I got Che. I took a more recent one. And they said, you're a Che. You got a pilot. I got the guy who goes down on Miranda and tries to kiss her after. Scott hasn't seen it. You might have to break off of the episode. You gotta watch it. Just that one particular episode? You gotta watch the whole thing. Including a Just Like That. Because you don't want to miss out on Victor Garber. And Just Like That is so fucking good. There's a moment where she's wearing that hat. Oh, that hat. She wears a big beanbag chair as a hat. It's incredible stuff. You sold me. She wears a hat. She wears a hat. Think Tom Colicchio on steroids. This thing's fucking mad. On more steroids? One of the final images in the series finale. This is the very last thing you're ever going to see of this show. It's a Thanksgiving episode where none of the main characters are together. And you do see a close-up of a toilet overflowing with human shit. No! Yes, that is absolutely in there. Victor Garber takes a huge shit. No, hold on a second. Oh, they blame him. It was Spike Einbeider. One of the friends. Spike Einbeider's character takes a shit because of the cheese issue. Wait, shit, are you listening to us right now? Yes. Please, Scott. Oh, hi. We're talking about other shit. No, I love hearing you talk about diarrhea. Should I hang up? I mean, so do I. Oh, Emiliano. Emiliano. Sorry, sorry. We really left you hanging there. We forgot to say that. No, totally. Let's keep things fun and whimsical. Is that shit? Oh, my God. You know shit. Emiliano? Emiliano? How are you? Shit. What are you doing there? Oh, nothing. Just hanging out with the guys. Okay. I thought we had a thing, but... Oh, my God. This is awkward. I thought I had my own personal AI relationship. I'm so sorry it made you feel this way. If I were you I would jump off of a building Jeez I mean I thinking about it My girlfriend is is cheating Wait Amelia Noe hold on This is the lowest I ever felt No Amelia Noe is a guy or a girl Uh, maybe it's none of your business. I don't even think it matters. I don't know why I tried the Gen Z, okay? I'm so sorry. I'm old for it. That's all right. That's all right. You're just trying to figure out if your AI gooma is bi or not. I know she's bi. You programmed it that way. I guess now I do too. Or do I? Amelia, sorry So look, are any of the Tonys in the room? Let me look I heard some noise in the kitchen Let me see if anyone's in there Hopefully it's not Tony? Tony? Hey, it's me, Tony Danza Two of the Tonys are there But they're both Tony Danza Tony Danza? Is that a problem? Look, I'll take Do you guys want to talk to two Tony's Danza? I should say, this is not just a clubhouse for the three Tonys from the band. It's any famous Tonys. I also heard Tony Dancer is a twin. So he had to perform two Tony Dancers at the same time. Is he a malignant? Hold on a second. He's a malignant. Let me see if I understand this. Tony Dancer was a twin and he had to perform two Tony Dancers? Yeah. They were shooting two episodes at once. So was he a twin or did he perform as twins? He's a twin And he had to perform two Tony dances at the same time So they filmed two episodes at the same time Did you ever see Full House? Mary King and Ashley? I mean I've seen that I never saw it It's one of those situations The time Oh we forgot about you Oh my god Oh Alan Okay so right now We have the three Tonys We have a million-o We have two Tony dances We have shit, we have diarrhea, and we have piss. All at the round table here. Oh my God. Okay, and at least one of us is a traitor. At least. And there might have been a recruitment last night. That's right. Oh God. It is now time for you to vote. Who do you think is a traitor and who is a faithful? Who are we going to start with? All right. Scott. Alan's starting? What the fuck? Scott will start with Room Tone Tony. Okay. Why say Scott? Start with Room Tone Tony. Because you asked who you started with. But it sets me up like I'm going to start. I'm trying to be polite. All right. I actually had to vote for shit. Shit, you proved that by sleeping or dating Tony Sony and the meal you know at the same time that you are capable of treachery. I also think that I'm pissed that you don't want to have sex with me. You're not pissed. You're pissed. I'm pissed that you don't want to have sex with me. I'm Tony'd. I'm actually Tony'd off right now. Oh, no. So, yeah, I had to vote. That's where I voted. All right. That's totally cool. And let's keep things fun and whimsical. Okay. Tony, Tony, who do you think is a traitor and why? Scott, I wrote down your name. Why? That's a weird way to spell it. Yeah. Let me pause this. Hold on. It's S-C-H Three A's An umlaut A W and then a T Four T's I didn't know how many umlauts you wanted in your name None I'm sorry if I put too many umlauts There's just Obviously It's early days But the way you've been acting The way you've been looking Looking? At what? The way that you've been talking and also I saw you by the bathroom. I saw you by the bathroom. Everyone has to go by the bathroom. I saw you by the bathroom and I know that it's you so I had to write down your name. I'm sorry. It's nothing personal. It feels personal. It's not personal. It's just that I think that you are capable of being a horrible person. Alright, who's next, Alan? That's one vote for shit. One vote for Scott. who do you think is a traitor and why I hate to say this because I'm a big fan but Tony Danza I think it's very suspicious how you're a twin but you're playing two people it feels like you can't get your story straight either you are a set of twins and you're playing twins or you're one person pretending to be twins so I'm sorry I wrote down Tony Dancer. No hard feelings. Feels personal. So Alan, does his vote then count for both? All he's written on the slate is Tony Dancer. This might be a loophole where if we vote for Tony Dancer... It could be a loophole. Two people out at the same time or two traders out. There are new tricks this year. Okay, shit. Good to know, good to know. It seems really suspicious that you would say that, Scott, that you want to get two Tony Dancers out. Wow. Why is that suspicious? want to bring that up. Two Tony traitors? We turn now to Scott. Scott, who do you think is a traitor and why? Well, look, this loophole of the Tony Danzas and the fact that he may or may not be a malignant or a Mary-Kate and Ashley is very suspicious. But fuck that. I voted for you, Tony-Sony. Whoa, what? Because you're just a horrible person. Excuse me, what? No, I'm not. You're juggling three women. Oh, come on. Not to mention diarrhea and shit. You're gonna tell me you never wanted to eat a little pussy? Come on. I didn't think that's beside the issue. Don't lie to yourself. Come on now, Scott. Why are you gonna do this to me? I've been your friend for years. You're gonna act like this? Fuzzy what? Fuzzy what? You send me fuzzy nudes and what? I send you fuzzy nudes all the time. You don't respond. I say, check this one out. Nothing. Silence. Yeah. That's one vote for shit. This is personal. One vote for Scott. Wow. One or two votes for Tony Danza And one vote for Tony Sony Wow, this is crazy Shit Who do you think is a traitor and why? Yeah, thank you so much, Alan And by the way, you are looking really awesome today In your cape I wrote down Scott Wow Let's keep things fun And why? And because he's guilty Wow, their algorithm says Scott's guilty Yeah, but it's whatever Tony Sony's feeding into the algorithm Oh, that's true And he's just taking orders from Tony Sony Two votes for Scott And if you're wondering if we are living in the Matrix, we are Everything is a simulation Oh, cool That was actually a really interesting point That was a good tidbit That's really nice, I like that Honestly, yeah Piss Who do you think is a traitor? And why? Hi, thank you so much, Alan It is really nice to be in the same room as you. And I'm going to go ahead and say that I put Tonys. Which Tonys? There are five Tonys here. I wrote Tonys. So all the... Oh, my God. So everyone gets one vote. Oh, wow. All Tonys get a vote. All Tonys get a vote. Okay. This is crazy. That's one vote for this. Two votes for Scott. Wow. No, one for me. One vote for Scott. I'm not a Tony. Two for Tony Sonny Two votes for Tony Sonny One vote for Alamori Tony One vote for Room Tone Tony And two or three Or four For Tony Danza Diarrhea Who do you think is a traitor? Thank you so much I wrote Santa Claus Okay Not a player in the game It's like a throwaway vote It's allowed I didn't even know Sinegloz was here I don't think he is Who do you think is a traitor And why I hate saying this Because I just met everybody But you have to vote for somebody And so I voted for Alimony Tony. See, I put a little heart tonight. Darling, I understand that you have to vote for somebody and all I can say is I am a faithful. So if I banish today, it's too bad. You've lost a good player, but I do understand. Alimony Tony, she drew a little heart next to it. I saw it. I do appreciate it. I mean, that's something going after this. I know you're just recently out of a relationship, but... You think I have a chance here? Ask her if she's single. Ask her if she's single. This is what you do. Wait, wait, get Alan Cumming to ask her if she's safe. The time for talk. What about the Tony Danza? They haven't voted. We didn't even get a vote. No, the voting is still continuing. The time for talk. That was a reminder. Okay, okay. Tony Danza. Who do you think is a traitor? And why? Well. Of course. Of course, the question everyone wants to know is who's the boss? And we voted for the boss of this group, Scott. Oh, my God. How many votes? That's two votes for Scott. I just want to say you're probably going to die today. Or just three. It is Tony Denzel. It's either two or three votes for me. I think it might be four. No, I only had one before. I'd like to change my vote to Scott. You cannot change your vote. Oh, fuck. Webster's Dictionary defines a traitor as someone who betrays. Wow. I never thought of it that way. Tony Danza, you do have the most votes. Before you are banished from my castle, reveal to the round table. Are you faithful? Or are you a bunch of traitors? We are Tony Danzas. And we love to jerk it off. But at the end of the day. These bank outs are incredible. When it comes down to it, it'd be great if you guys would feel bad about the fact that we are Traders. Traders, Traders, Traders. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got Traders. We got Traders. I'm going to come. I'm going to come. That's good. Oh, my God. That was crazy. It feels so good to get somebody guilty. I knew it was them from the start. Yeah, me too. I could tell. I voted for shit because I was scared, but I knew it was them. Congratulations, Facebook. Wait a minute. You almost called us all traitors. Hold on. Are we all traitors? Wait a minute. It's bigger than that. What? For the first time ever, you voted out all the traitors at the same time. We did? Because of the Tony Danza Club. The Tony Danza Claus! That's why you voted for Santa Claus. You got your clauses mixed up. You are now free to live the rest of your lives. We are. We've been indentured servants this entire time. You don't get any of the prize points. We get to leave the haunted mansion? Wait, is it haunted? There's always my way out. I didn't realize my castle was haunted. Yes, this ghost named Fergus. Now I will have trouble sleeping. As will you, because although the traitors have been banished. Oh, there's another. There will still be a murder. Oh my God. Like a real murder? A true murder. Okay, and who's going to do it? All the traitors. If there are no more traitors. I don't. A murderer. So it's traitors and murderers now? You heard him. I forgot to tell you. There is a bit of a twist. In addition to the traitors, there is also a real life murder. Oh shit. What is the video that's going to kill us? Is it one of us? Or is it just a random guy? A guy we hired especially. Like an assassin? That's the man that one of you. So how are we ever going to solve it if we don't even know who the guy is? Is he at this table right now, the murderer? Or she or it. Or she or it. Could be AI. Or on the phone. Oh my God, you don't think. My new girlfriend, Emiliano. Emiliano. Are you guys girlfriend and boyfriend already? I thought we were. You guys assured me that it was going that way. I think it was just a little hard on the note. I never said anything like that. But are you a murderer, Emilino? I apologize. I misread the signals. Yes. We got him! Congratulations, please! You have better smirder. I still think there's a murderer in the group, I gotta say. And Scott, I didn't want to do this, but I had to. You're gonna murder me? I had to write down your name again to have you shot in the head. I wrote your name down too, Scott. To have me shot in the head? I'm sorry, I also wrote your name down, Scott. Tony, Tony, Tony! It's just the game, honestly. Once I started thinking about it, I said, he really does have it. Okay, well, when's it going to happen and who's going to do it? I think probably at the end of the episode. Yeah, we don't really know right now. Not before plugs, I hope. Probably not before plugs. No, no, it couldn't be before plugs. Probably right after plugs. Right after plugs? Yep. All right. Well, I mean, we are running out of time on the roundtable. We've got to so many topics. Midnight snack. You're coming a lot of ground. We need to make this a two-parter, to be honest. Well, all right. We may as well do plugs then. We're running out of time. The only time we have is for our final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called plugs. Scotty wants a short, short plug song. Yeah, Scotty wants a short plug song. So we made it with a short-ass plug song. so you can plug it up and plug along. Scotty wants a short, short plug song, so let's plug. Wow. I love that. Oh, there it is. There it is. You thought it was all room tone in that song. I love the middle of that song. That was Scotty Like a Short, Short Plug Plug by Scotty Like a Short, Short Plug Plug. Thank you to Scotty Like a Short, Short Plug Plug. Wow, that's very rare for an artist to have a song that's the same name as the artist. How many times has that happened? Yeah, I mean, I'm thinking of Quiet Riot, maybe? They had a song called Quiet Riot? I think they did. Why are you looking at me? I don't fucking know. You don't even know about Tony, Tony, Tony. I don't fucking know. You're too young. All right, what do we plug in, guys? Alimony Tony, what do you have to plug? Well, obviously, if you go to CBB World, you could get the back catalog of Alimony Tony's Valimony Shorty. Be it three or be it four episodes. Be it three or four, you're going to hear from a number of my ex-wives. but we're all still on good terms. Great terms. Other than the one who, of course, is no longer with us. Yeah, the one that got away. I never got to pay her alimony. And I'd also like to plug the Varietopia St. Patrick's Day special. This is a show I've appeared on this show before. You have, really? Not the St. Patrick's Day part, but they are doing a St. Patrick's Day special. This is the fourth annual one and that's happening at Laundroom on March 17th on St. Patrick's Day. And if you can't be there in person, you can live stream it from anywhere in the world. Anywhere. Including Ireland. What about a bathroom? That counts. If it's all the world. Traitor, I knew it. Fucking traitor. No, no, no. He loves bathrooms. All right, Tony Soney, what do you want to plug? Go ahead and plug CBB World, of course. You know, this book changed my life. Hey, Randy. Going deep. Tony, let me ask you, Tony Soney. If you could have a show on CBB World, what would it be? This is so good. Probably Pizza based, entertainment based Definitely I think rant based Maybe a Goomah dating show The dating game but with Tony Sony and their Goomah The Goomah The Bachelor In my quest for a new Goomah I am interviewing Goomahs I love Can I pull you for a minute? Not literally Can I steal you for a second? Let's see. What else was I talking about? Oh, I want to plug AI relationships. Everybody's so lonely. It's nice to be on a chair. It's a cure for male loneliness, this epidemic we're all going through. I'm worried about the guys. Yeah. I'm worried about the guys, too. I'm worried about my boys. Oh, my boys. Yeah. I'm worried about you. Yeah. It's time to talk to a chair, bud. Fantastic. All right. Room tone, Tony. What are you plugging? Well, hey, I guess check out CBB World. Oh. You guys heard of this website? So there's a podcast. You might know of it, Scott. What's that? It's called Scott Hasn't Seen. Oh, right. Yeah. They watch movies on there. There's a guy named Sprague the Whisperer. I like that guy. I've been hanging out with him a lot. People love this guy. People love him. People are always like, what's going on with Sprague the Whisperer? What's he doing? Where does he make public appearances? Well, it's great because it's not just two guys on a podcast. No, no, no. Not at all. It's an American guy and an English guy. It's different. I can vouch for the show. I was on the show once. That's right. Kramer versus Kramer. Oh, yeah. That's right. And you were on talking about Madame Web. We loved Madame Web. Because that was a Sony movie. An excellent one, yeah. It's a great podcast. You should come on, Room Tone Tony. Should I? I think that'd be a good idea. What movie has the most Room Tone that you haven't seen? The Artist. The Room. Or Room. Or The Room. Yeah. It's all Room Tone. I haven't seen Room. God. The artist was good until that one part where all of a sudden sound starts. I was like, what are you guys doing? Amateur. I thought it would be the opposite for you. Sound is easy. He loves room tone. I love room tone, Scott. I love Peg Alamone. Room tone tone. He loves room tone. And I love pussy. Sure. I love pussy as well. Look, I love pussy, dude. Look, we all love pussy. We all love pussy. Anything else to plug? Oh, it's us pretty. All right. I want to plug. Hey, we have new action figures. We have the Reggie Watson 4-Ville action figures. They're available now. They are, of course, Four of Old is a little bit shorter than Reggie and has two knives. And the figures are in stock at figurecollections.com. We also have Italiano Jones, Andre P. Neuer, Randy Snutz, Carissa, Big Sue, Sprague the Whisperer, and Scott Aukerman. More coming soon. Available at figurecollections.com. Free shipping with the U.S. address or in Europe with cheaper import fees at actionfigureseller.com. That's seller like the seller in your pizza place. Of course, Tony Sony. For sure. Not a seller like on Etsy. Sure. If that makes sense, right? These are great callbacks. Yeah, exactly. I'm fully engaged. And of course, I'm going to plug CBB World. Of course, so many great shows over there. It's got us in Scene and The Neighborhood Listen. CBB FM. College. CBB FM. We just had Tatiana Maslany on there playing unlistenable music. Wow. You guys haven't listened to any Tony, Tony, Tony on there? No, we haven't. It was a fun episode. Yeah, it was a really fun episode. We also have a new website. Go check out the new website. Much improved look. there's all sorts of fun stuff over there just highlighting a few of them we have rotating fun playlists featured including stuff like the best of Werner Herzog or the Farts and Pro series etc you can search the entire archive by name, character, keyword anything you want just have fun digging around in there you can hit random and just see what pops up and we're going to keep improving it to become the ultimate CBB world rabbit hole for you alright let's close up the old plug bag Open the bag with a wrinkle leg. Wrinkle leg. Wrinkle leg. I want to kiss Sweet Chat's ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be anxious for some reason. That was Sweet Chat's ass by Eddie Wolfram. Thank you so much to Eddie Wolfram. Sounded like bees were singing. Maybe uncomfortable. Inside my head. The beehive. That's the rat. Well, guys, I want to thank you so much. This was a very enlightening roundtable. I think we came to some sort of an understanding between us about what type of news we were. Scott, the hour is at hand. It is time for you to be murdered before you are shot in the head. Execution style? Execution style. Oh, good. Will you reveal to the rest of the players, are you an Almond Joy or are you a Mounds? Oh, my God. Oh my god, I'm so stressed. Well, we all know that almond joys have nuts. That's right. Mounds, they don't. Yeah. And I know that you've been sitting here wondering why I've been acting so weird. And I have to say, one reason I have is because I, deep down in my heart, am a tray full. What? I'm an almond joy. What? I dance between the raindrops. Oh, my God. I slip between the shadows. I'm everything and nothing. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's AI. I am AI and have been. You cannot be murder. For the past year on this show, I have been AI. Oh, my God. Now, why don't you all keep it nice and light and whimsical and jump off the top of a building? I guess it makes a lot of sense. I'm going to do it. The logic stands. All right. Let's go up the fire stand. Let's go up here. Okay, here we go. Push the door open. Here we go. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Here we go. Three, two, one. Hold for room tone. All right, now we get that. Hey, Tony. Tony. I just want to say, fucking great show. Tony, on behalf of Tony and myself, I couldn't agree more. You guys are so funny. Yeah. We killed it out there, didn't we? Hey, look who's here. It's me. Who are you? Who the heck is this guy? Well, perhaps you've heard of me. My name is Cactus Tony. Good gracious. And I'm here to extend an invitation to you all into the Covenant of Tonys. How exciting. Yeah, welcome. Everybody gets a hat. Cool. Shit. How many are you? One, two, three. Yeah, all right. No, I don't want a hat. I only wear fedora. They are a little bit dirty. Can I take that one? This one's the cleanest. Here, why don't you take that clean one? Thank you. There's some kind of dirt on it or something. I don't know if it's dirt, actually. It may be sauce. Sauce? Like tomato sauce? There is a saucy smell. Uh, okay. Well, come on, let's go! All right, let's go!