9.05 - Couples Therapy

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But before all that, what will happen in Butthole and Quinny's first couples therapy session? Find out next on Dum Dums and Dragons. Dum Dums, it has taken nine seasons, but it has finally come time for couples therapy between Quinny and Butthole. After an eventful day in Asgard, dealing with some teenage heartbreak and some kooky costumes, but decent ideas from Cormier and Plantier. The time has come for Butthole and Quinny to just, you know, have a chat about their feelings. And this has, of course, been a long time coming, long threatened slash promised, and also an odd place for DM to be because I literally have no control over anything that's going to happen because Laura's the therapist, Tyler is Quinny, and Ryan's Butthole. So you guys tell me where you go and how this goes and I'll go have a coffee break. Well, I think we should find somewhere private where we can speak openly and not be overheard. Absolutely, yes. Okay, and you should have a couch. Yeah. Yeah, and you have to do a seance, I think. Oh, yeah, I got to do a little bit of thing and channel Dr. Martha. Okay, where do you want to go? You're the therapist. I guess we could go to like Juniper's, like my quarters. if you want. Fine. They're pretty private. Okay. And it's a nice, I like the vibe. It's a nice earthy vibe. I'm sure you do. I feel like it's a nice calming vibe for everyone, right? Okay. Okay. We'll see. I don't think I've been to your room. Oh. Yeah, I mean, your room's fine. Let's go there. All right. Okay. Okay, we're here. Okay. With that, the three of you make your way to Juniper's quarters. Laura, if you can remind us what these look like. This has been a hot second. Yeah, so Juniper, liked had spent time kind of like growing moss on the walls in general just like casting like plant growth on just like the walls like when she had gone through the castle in general just to get more life and less coldness a little less obelisk from 2001 a space odyssey so so it's definitely like uh she has um in in any of her downtime just like brought in little plants and like seedlings and just put them in little pots and just like plant growth plant growth plant growth So it now has the feeling of like kind of an indoor arboretum. And it's a little humid oasis kind of in the midst of the desert because of that. And otherwise it just has kind of the traditional stone in the background. And so do these rooms, I don't know if we ever established, they have like little sitting areas. Like these are like royal quarters. I assume there's like places to land around. You know, it's not a hotel room. It's a suite. Yeah, for sure. It's your space. I'm sure they would have got you whatever you wanted. They've had a month to advance your room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, there's a little couch. Beautiful. All right. Well, this couch is a little small. It's a bit of a little couch, but I think we can make it work, Quiddy. Yeah. Are you okay? You can sit somewhere else if you want to sit. I like sitting on the floor personally. Nope. It grounds me. In therapy, you have to be on a couch. I don't know if that's true. but if you want to be go for it whatever makes you most comfortable i think oh this is gonna be great all right just give me a second i'm gonna do just like a slight little meditation and just kind of consult with my inner dr martha i think our doctor's like sits cross-legged in the floor in front of them and closes his eyes for a solid like five minutes butthole just waits and inside And he's like, Dr. Martha, Dr. Martha, what do I have? What is Dr. Martha? Are we hearing that? Yeah. Okay, great. Okay. He's muttering to himself. Like a butthole sitting with Quinn after that. I don't want to tell Gartok how to do his job. He got a suppression wolf thing, so I think he could just become Dr. Martha. Why are we talking to Dr. Martha? So you see Gartok shifting kind of rapidly back and forth. as he's trying to like it was brought up before he can't really get out of his head that it was going to be Gartok and Gartok was going to channel Dr. Martha so he's just like okay yeah ugh ugh Dr. Dr. Martok I am Dr. Martok is this a new persona? are you a new persona? hello? I wouldn't say so much as new it's still me Gartok but when we're in therapy you can address me as Dr. Martok so it's just for us yeah it's like putting on a new title at work yeah okay you may see me flip back and forth but that's just because Dr. Martha's gonna weigh in and do a little anyways so you're like a student therapist and you've got somebody overseeing your work who's a trained professional yeah but you want to talk to me I mean look I've spent way more time with you than Dr. Martha has so I think it's I know you best. Okay. All right. What do we do? Well, I've never done therapy before. So you're really going to have to walk me through this. Okay. And Gartok gets up from the floor, sits, drags a chair kind of to sit across from them. Okay. I think we start off. Can you tell me in your own words why you think you're here today? um whoever wants to go first quinn he does that's why he started talking shit uh because we uh we got into a a pretty probably our biggest fight on a on a mission uh and uh came to the realization that if we don't you know what align ourselves a little better uh it's going to get dangerous for the kingdom, for the other people we care about, for our lives. You know, you running into the woods, me chasing after you. I mean, that felt like just what the tipping point of a bunch of stuff where you and I just don't see eye to eye on things. And then we just leave it. Yeah. And then I fell into water and became a monk and took on a new identity. Yeah. But then it feels like we talked pretty good and I'm kind of happy now. I did talk to my daughter and that kind of helped me with some stuff. Oh, okay. So you're both good with each other. Wait, hang on. You said that it was dangerous for the kingdom, but then you both 180'd and say, oh, we're fine. Well, there was kind of a long time between when we originally had that fight and talked about therapy and then getting here. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I think one of our biggest sources of contention is probably just the fact that his daughter is now going to be the future ruler of the kingdom. And that really fucks up your teenage years, one might say, along with your entire life. Right. Quiddy, could you maybe speak to that more? Just say exactly how you feel about it. um i feel like my daughter is uh taking on more than she should have to hey quiddy yeah i have a quick question do you know what a feeling is i i think so well then did you just tell me a feeling i feel frustrated thank you about about how my daughter is taking on more than she should have to at her age okay and uh and this conversation i could understand that therapy is difficult especially at the beginning oh yeah he also isn't like processing his feelings about the fact that baba yaga died and he lost his magic powers. I might get those back now. Oh. Whoa, what? Wait, who are you returning to deal with? That's, it's, apparently, it's still part of the deal. Baba Yaga left a message for me in the form of a tooth from another guy. Whoa. He's pulled it right out of his head, gave it to me. Okay, but what was the message? Message was that she has basically named me like her champion to bring her back from the dead. she says this has happened to her before and she has entrusted her reanimation with a champion before so you're kind of her heir right now I guess to like carry forward her contracts and her businesses and other things it seemed more like it was going to be about pulled out like a pad of paper in his writing seemed like it was more about bringing her back than running the show for her but there might be some interim responsibilities i it was more like you're gonna hear a door slam go through the door and you will be in you know her chicken hut thing yep spooky hut she says i'm the doorway will take me there and then i will receive further instruction but basically i don't know if i'm gonna do it yet because we get baba yaga back i get my powers back she says she would release me from my contract. Okay. And isn't that great? Because you hate contracts. I feel kind of released right now. That's the thing. That's tricky. Yeah. Yeah, follow this light of thought. Sorry. The quiet sorry. Oh, no. Oh, Gartok. Oh, buddy. Oh, no. Yeah. See, as a student therapist, Gartok is battling his innate interest in chiming in about every 45 seconds with trying to let people have a breakthrough. Oh, incredible. Like, I sent Quiddy to actual hell, and I don't think I managed to plunge him into as much torment. Yeah, sorry. I'm having a wonderful time, and I need to lock in and be angry and frustrated. I need to be so mad at everyone right now. Okay, so you're saying, like, you're kind of free now. So if you turn down the deal, I mean, did Baba Yaga tell you what happens if you don't help? No, that wasn't included in the message, and there's no way to talk to her. It's just a message. And if anyone listens to the message, she did throw in that their soul is, she'll come after their soul. So I don't know if anyone else is allowed to listen to her, if that's just an empty threat, because she's dead. I don't know. Yeah, that's a good question. It seems like she's probably come back a bunch of times if this is the system. So I was just looking at this and going like oh you kind of ended up in your own air situation which seems like it a bit of an echo of the the genie situation yeah she seems like a conniving and manipulative enough kind of person to not necessarily hang everything on me yeah yeah like there might be a plan b and so my thinking right now is if not me then who and if that other person is successful what happens to me bad stuff probably well if we close this out It seems like it's the last really bad contract that's been signed by anybody on the team. Well, yeah. No, I'm not doing any more of that. That's for sure. Okay. Well, that's good. Yeah. But how do you feel about that? Gartok gives Butthole a little thumbs up. Yeah, Butthole nuts. He got it. I feel nothing. I'm thinking about it. Well, what did you do that whole night where you went out into the wilderness and didn't talk to anybody? Nothing. can I roll I gotta roll yeah Tyler's rolling deception everyone else is rolling it's a 24 deception okay 24 deception foreign guidance on himself that oh I only got a 17 uh Ryan I will remind you you have inspiration from a previous session yeah yeah fuck him alright alright I got me up to a 23 insight match yeah I think insight uh 14 alright Gartok's like oh he spent it doing nothing I was like I don't believe it I think Gartok's just respecting boundaries, you know? It's not for the therapist to declare. Oh, we're getting therapy notes from God. But, I mean, you're playing an actual God, so you do your own. I've never been wrong. Klaar om je bedrijf te starten? Ga aan de slag met het handelsplatform voor ondernemers. Shopify helpt je bij het starten, runnen en uitbreiden van je bedrijf. Met aanpasbare thema's kun je I don't think that's true. I think you felt a feeling So then you hid it behind Secrets I went for a walk I thought maybe I would talk to Other people about it I don't know if this is going to come as a shock To the two of you But when you both talk to me About stuff That I'm dealing with Sometimes it can be a lot And I don't want it to be a lot So I leave When you say a lot Oh sorry You had a question Gerda? This is It's happening right now the fact that you two are both jumping on it oh that's okay it's okay it's okay if you feel overwhelmed therapy is overwhelming because you're facing feelings you've never faced before and do you know what it's gonna get easier every time we do this doing this again oh yeah therapy is not a one and done buddy why does anyone do it well because eventually hopefully you'll be Learn to handle these situations better in a more appropriate way instead of running off into the woods. I don't have a problem with how I'm handling things. No, but it seems that it causes a problem for everyone else. Sounds like everyone else's problem then. Listen, I'm in therapy because you wanted me to go to therapy and I agreed to do this with you. So if you think therapy is stupid, I'm very cool with that. We can leave, keep sharing our feelings with each other, and we don't have to do this. No, no. I can even stop writing my feelings down and burning them in the fire every morning. You still do that? What? Yeah. Are you journaling? No. Having a journal, then you have to have a journal afterwards. I write stuff down and then I burn it. Like Quintetobby. Oh, that's fine. That's still journaling. Yeah. I'm journaling. Wow. Good for you. How's that making you feel? Kind of the same, but a little more calm, maybe. All right. The feelings are still there, but it makes them slightly less immediate. You know, I feel like I've been processing things. It's been pretty helpful. Great. Look at that. I'm pretty good at this shit. Do you write down your feelings every morning? No, I'm fine. Oh, then I should probably stop. Well, no, fuck. No, I do when I need to. And if you need to, then keep doing it. Well, I don't need to. It's just been something that you told me that I should do because it's a healthy thing. But if you don't do it, then clearly it's not that helpful. So I should stop. I don't think this is productive anymore. I'd like to take a pause in this conversation because it's getting a little bit argumentative. So let's just everyone take a deep breath in and through the nose. Come on. We're doing a little grounding exercise. I'm grounded. There's something bad. No, a grounding exercise. It's like it's like that's what I did. It's like stopping your your spiraling thoughts and all the craziness in your head. Oh, yeah. You need that. I only had like one thought. Was it? But it was it seemed like it was going in like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, it's pretty slow in there. Well, it was doing a slow woo. A woo. Okay. I mean, you tell me. Okay. Yeah. I believe you. Okay. Breathe in. And through your nose. He does. And out through your mouth. Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. Okay. Once more. Nose. And out. Mouth. Oh, wonderful. Okay. I want to go back because I seem to have noticed that we started talking about Quinty's feelings and then we pivoted away to something else that was totally different, separate from those feelings. Okay. I'd like to go back to your frustration about your daughter. Okay. What about it? Now. I'm not frustrated at her. No, but you're frustrated about the situation. Sure, I guess. I was. Oh, you're not anymore? I'm fine. I'm, this is. This is what he does. Yeah. Okay. That's why I talk about other things. He won't like it if we keep pushing. Yeah, but I think we're going to have to. I'm not the one doing this. I want to be clear. I'm here because you thought it was a good idea. Talk to Gartok. Oh, my God. I believe it's Dr. Martok. I believe my own name is Dr. Martok. I believe that, too. Maybe we should all believe it. Dr. Martok, what do you want me to say right now? Well, we've described... Okay. Closes his eyes. Dr. Martok does not know. Closes his eyes. You see a flicker to Dr. Martha in back. Okay. So we described the situation, right? Yeah. That Jiddy is the heir to the throne. And the feeling attached to that is frustration. Yeah. Can you tell me what exactly frustrates you? It just seems like it's a lot for anyone to have to deal with. I don't I want her to have I don't know options I mean we gave her the choice and she took it so but so I don't know I don't know what I want to see different or anything that was my question is just what would make that your frustration go away what would have to change for you to be relieved of that. If she could just do whatever she wanted. She seems to be taking on responsibilities kind of way beyond the scope of a typical teenage girl. Wow, that sounds really hard. I guess. Is it realistic to expect that she would give up those responsibilities? I don't know. I guess not. Do you think maybe you need to talk with her about how she feels about it? I kind of did, but it was mostly about breakup stuff. Mmm. Matters of the heart. Yep. Butthole, can you roll me an insight, please? Yes, I can. That's a 29. So you recall that... I'm a pretty good therapist. Quinny mentioned a little more of a good dog with a bone. You recall that Quinny lied about his evening and that he said he wants to talk to other people. Now we're talking about heartbreak. And those are some things Butthole has some pretty specific ideas around when it comes to Quinny. Is your heart broken too? What? Well, you're talking about heartbreak, and I'm a very good listener. so I was thinking about you know your sex based heists like a honeypot like like yeah the felthane yeah did you try to go visit the felthane Queen's like looking staring daggers at butthole and back over at Gartok almost like a look of like is this are we on track right now like looking to you of like help me out here well okay i see quiddy you have some hesitance to discuss this so let's just like rewind i think next steps in terms of the jenny conversation you need to talk to her about how she feels and maybe see how comfortable she is in her current role okay if she's not great with her feelings should she also come here oh no butthole that might be a good idea maybe family therapy you You know, get everyone together to talk about their feelings. You've already said that it's hard. You try to talk about these things and it pivots to other stuff. So maybe you need a neutral party here to keep things on track. Yeah, maybe. I'm going to schedule a session with you. I went to see Vinton Charlemagne last night. I'm not going to let you change topics like this, Quiddy. It was a good try. But your tactics aren't going to work here. God damn it. The family thing still needs to happen. I will let you change topics. How did it go? She wasn't home. oh bummer and how did that make you feel relieved why relieved jesus with you two god we care we're listening we're both good listeners me and dr martoc thank you butthole uh so that uh i didn't have to talk to her about not being a warlock anymore i was uh worried about what she might think can i ask you're relieved that you weren't going to talk to her, but you sought her out initially. Could I ask what you were trying to get or what you were hoping to get out of seeing her in the first place? Yeah, and what you were feeling. Sex, thinking about maybe getting some sex. And then... Okay. Dancing is a good way to release tension. We... Yeah, dancing is a good way to release tension. You're not wrong. Uh, and, uh... As you look, butthole has shifted, subtly matching Dr. Vardok's physicality. Just the same, like, cross. He's reached into a bag of holding hands. He has his own notes now. They're both looking at you. This is a fucking nightmare. Um, what was the question? I, uh, sorry. You were both... But you were looking to get sex, and how was that going to change your feelings? Sex feels good. Mm-hmm. And then after that? I thought about after that, and that's why I was glad she wasn't there, so we wouldn't end up talking. Butthole looks over at Dr. Martok seeing if the doctor's gonna take this anywhere otherwise he will He's just taking copious notes Okay, so sex is good and then sharing afterwards Yeah, you know, just talking That's nice I'm sorry you didn't get that It's fine Well, it's not fine because it sounded like it was emotionally important to you Do you find it easier to talk about feelings after that physical release? I find it's easier to talk about feelings to one person in private than to lots of people feeling like they are demanding things from me feeling cornered he keeps looking back and forth at the two of you do you feel cornered quiddy right now yeah yes i just want to let you know this is a safe space you're welcome to get up and walk around we could take a five minute breather collect yourself you're not trapped you're quiddy You're with two people who care about you and only want the best for you. But I was just nodding. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. Sometimes it's just not comfortable to know that. Wait, it's not comfortable knowing that people are there for you? Yes. I didn't get it either. Yeah. Why does that make you uncomfortable, Quinny? uh it weighs you down it it's uh it feels like too much sometimes too much what attention uh well do you feel like you pay too much attention to jenny no i feel like i don't pay enough attention to jenny okay so what if i feel that way about you do you or is that just a hypothetical. Well, I feel like when you have a big emotional thing, you run off into the night and then don't tell me anything and then come back and you're like, I'm fine. And it doesn't feel like I really know what's going on. Which actually seems pretty dramatically comparable to how Ginny tries to deal with things. Only sometimes I can get her to talk and then she just cries uncontrollably because she's been bottling up for a long time. Okay, well, I'm not going to cry. I'm not asking you to cry. That's okay. Quiddy, do you feel do you feel like Ginny's missing out on something? Like she's not having enough attention on her. I feel like she missed out on having a dad and that already, you know, affected her. And then now that I'm around, I'm not around all the time. And now because I'm around, she's a freak. And that makes you feel frustrated again, I guess. Okay. and and I wanted you to name another emotion, Quiddy. Annoyed. Annoyed with you. This isn't about me, Quiddy. Okay. Frustrated isn't enough? Frustrated tends to be a secondary emotion. There's often something behind that that you're not acknowledging. Oh. Like maybe if I could offer a possibility and you could say yes or no, perhaps guilt. Guilt? About not being there for your daughter. Oh, okay. Look, no, I, I, maybe. Maybe? Yeah, maybe. Okay. Okay. Underlines the word maybe. I feel like that's a pretty normal feeling to have. Okay. So it's fine. Well, not fine in the way you mean. But just, I think you should just acknowledge that you feel guilty if you feel guilty. Okay. Maybe I will if I feel it. Okay. How about him? Couples, right? Get him, get in there with him. Let's get him, right? No, that's not what this is. That's how this works, as far as I can tell? That's not. What's wrong with you? I mean, raised by brutal dictators who tortured me and then working my way forward with no personal connections, ended up falling into religion. Then it turned out I became my own god and had to kill my parents in hand-to-hand combat as well as my stepdad. Now I'm a ruler of a nation, even though I think monarchies are ultimately evil, but it's the only way I can move things forward positively. I got my own stuff. Yeah. So annoy him about that. Butthole, how do you feel when you wake up? Sleepy. A lot of the time, I don't get as much sleep as I want. And then sometimes I'll feel sad. But that's felt less. You know, ideas kind of come back to you when you have tragedies. And as you get more space away and you process, they kind of pop in. And then you can still feel those feelings. But then they go away. So, you know, I journal in my fire journal. And then I go about my day. Because, you know, sometimes feelings are there. and you process them through work and other healthy ways. I don't deny them as much now, which is nice. That's really healthy, Butthole. Oh, thank you. I'm really proud of the strides you've made on your own. Oh, thank you so much. It sounds like you've developed a lot of resilience. That's what I'm trying to do. You know, it really helps us just move forwards with this kingdom to make sure that I can meet the demands of a very challenging job while also respecting, you know, the individuals around me and that they also have their own emotional journeys that I want to support, but not steamroll. Wow. Wow. and Gartok just takes notes. Oh, thank you. Butthole starts taking notes. No, no, it's... Do the thing you just did to me. Do the bad part. Where he's bad. I mean, it seems like Butthole has been acknowledging his emotions. This is bullshit. And writing them down and not being afraid of what he's feeling. Yeah, like, what do you want to know about my feelings? I'll tell you. What do I want to know about your feelings? Or thoughts or whatever. You don't really ask a lot of questions. you kind of, I think, have big feelings, bottle them up, and then run away. Yeah. What do I want to know? I want to know. I want to know. Do you think this is like a thing you're trapping me with? Yeah. I'm going to win couples therapy. Just hang on a second. You guys started on the back. I'm going to turn this shit around. Hang on. Wait, I didn't go over ground rules. Oh, okay. What are the ground rules? Yeah, what's the scoring system? There's no scoring system. What? It's just vibes-based? There's no winner. There's no loser. Why are we doing this then? Why do you keep asking me? You wanted this. Because I wanted to win. Whoa. What? Everyone is going to win. That's the goal. You win, Quinny. Butthole, you win. And Dr. Martok wins. And I win too. Because Dr. Martok will approve. That's the goal. Is for all of us to have more open and honest communication with each other so we can work through our feelings and have resolution. well i had a different idea about how this was going to work okay well why don't we do this one dr martok's way and then later you and i can do therapy your way no no i maybe so what then what what what happens now well how do you do it better i think this was a good place to start. Okay. Quinty, I have an exercise for you. Oh, God, this feels a lot like confession with a fart hole. What's up? What do I have to do? How many flips? It sounds there are no flips, unless you want to, but it sounds like frustration is a common theme that you're feeling. Sure. Yeah. What I would like you to do is every time the feeling of frustration comes up, I want you to go through a little checklist. Every time? Every single time. Just mentally, you don't have to write anything down, although it would help. I didn't bring anything to write down like you two did. Here, I've got some. Here, how is no? I'll take some stationery from Buttle and some stationery from Gartha. do you prefer a pen or a quill i got the quill thank you oh okay good do you think i fuck yes i do okay here's a little ink well all right what's the checklist i want you to do i want you to ask yourself what do i think about this what's going on what's the situation that's making me frustrated what's the sitch these are all the questions i gotta ask myself no it's basically just what's the sitch i'm just giving more context it's a kim possible what do i think to what's the sitch yeah sure i've heard that's short for situation makes sense it can be easier to remember and it's a little pithy so what's the goal of the exercise to acknowledge what you're really feeling frustration so you might need to give a little more because he'll probably just math out exactly what's happening around him that makes him angry exactly so the next step is good at that how is this situation what is this making me feel frustrated and now i want you to ask why why what other feeling am i not acknowledging because that's the frustration quiddy that's The frustration. What other feeling? Okay. And we'll just call that guilt or just. It can't be guilt. Maybe it's sadness. Sure. Sadness. Okay. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe it's. I mean, often it's fear. Fear. We'll just throw anything in there. And then what's the next one after that? Quinny, are you taking this seriously? I think so. This isn't just something to win. This isn't something to be like, look, I did the exercise. This is to really examine your inner emotional landscape. All right. Okay. I will try to find the feeling. Yeah. Good. Perfect. Okay. And once you find yours, maybe you'll be able to help Ginny find her feelings better. It's the next step. That's why I described it as the next step. Well, down the road, like a later step. Several steps later? Yeah, not the immediate one. And then I want you to think, hmm, what would help make this feeling go away? What is within my power to change? Are you giving him permission to commit murders? I just want to make it clear. Absolutely not. I just want you to do the mental exercise. Don't take any action. I just want you to consider what could be changed don't do anything but you know what would be different if you could have something happen that would be different that would make you feel better what would it be well are some feelings better than other feelings no well it wasn't what you mean by better I mean it would be nice for everyone to be content all the time but that's just not realistic what we have to do is you feel the emotions you work through it you identify what's causing them and you you know you you you you solve any issues that you kill you know you know he just said kill it about an emotion kill what the thing that's like like like metaphorically kill the thing that's causing the emotion roll a deception check no he's convinced oh okay he just thinks that's what we're talking about yeah sure so 14 25 in sight 14 I'm sorry kill what like I was saying like metaphorically the thing that's causing the emotion right like change it get rid of it yeah maybe I don't know if kill it is the right response it's more like you know acknowledge and work work through it I think you know what those steps mean No there a lot of different ways that we could talk about a future therapy sessions because look every situation different okay so then so the list though because sometimes it could be changing things and sometimes it could just be accepting that you can't change things accepting that i can't change things yes he's a god yeah what do you mean can't change things well you want your daughter to be in control of her own life right yeah you may not be happy with the decision she's making and you can't change her and you may have to learn to live with that hmm okay and so that's just an example i couldn't make my mom nice that's true You didn't have a lot of time to get that done. Well, I mean, I did. She just wasn't nice. Oh. So then I couldn't make her nice. So I made her dead. Kill the thing that's given you the bad feeling? But that's an extreme situation because even if Butthole's mom hadn't been his mom, we still would have had to deal with her. Also, killing her did not make me feel any better. No, it was more safety of everyone on Toriel kind of situation. So a little bit different. Okay. My life is kind of a string of extremes. I don't think I have a reasonable example. Serafina Bellwinter is less shitty now. I didn't get rid of her. Yeah. I accepted that she kind of sucked. And then I tried to engage with her in ways that could help her grow or learn things and prevented her from harming herself or others. but I didn't like get rid of her. And it's not like I successfully changed her a lot. And you're happy with that? I have decided that that is an acceptable thing. I am content with how that process has gone on. Am I happy? No, she's very frustrating. Most people are very frustrating, especially in this country. I mean, not this month, weirdly, but we missed most of this month. So I just kind of had frustrating country and then better, but I don't know how. But yeah, no, a lot of people are frustrating. and a lot of people do stuff that's kind of silly. I just don't really take it out on them. Why not? Well, what's the value in that? It doesn't help me because then I just lean into my anger and I just get more angry and then I harm more people and it causes more problems and it's all kind of there. Whereas instead, I look at it and I go like, oh, how's this person making me feel? Oh, well, okay, this person's making me sad. Well, I guess I can be sad if I want to give them that power over me or I can accept that I'm sad and process it and come back and then I'm not as sad. Or sometimes I look at it and I go like, Okay, so I'm feeling a little nervous. Well, maybe I should be nicer. You know, the stuff I can change. It doesn't necessarily alter the core feeling, but it alters how I feel about it. Feelings are like the weather. You can't always control them. I mean, I have orbs of weather, so that's a bad example. That's what I'm talking about. But feelings are like weather for you in that you can't control the weather. I can't steal. We all have our things. I'm not sneaky at all. Everybody's got strengths and weaknesses. Your strengths are kind of running away, hiding, and then murdering things in the dark, which means we need to add like a fourth thing to your skill set. Fine. So is that the whole thing then? I get frustrated. I say, what's the sitch? Why is that the sitch? What's the other feeling? And how do I change the feeling? Or how would you? Again, I don't want you to like really, I want this to be a very basic thing of like, what would you like to have happen that's different? What would you like to change? Okay, then what do I do with that? Then we're going to talk about it. And we're going to talk about what you have the power and responsibility to change and what you have the power and responsibility to accept that you cannot. And then we're going to learn to sit with those emotions and say, it's okay that I feel this way. And then you move on with your day. Okay. What exercise am I going to do? I don't know, butthole. You seem to have things pretty well in hand. Oh, well, thank you. But what else are you feeling? Well, I mean, we're here for couples therapy. So like, how does this help us? Obviously, I can see how it helps Quinny, which is valuable. And clearly he's getting a lot out of therapy and that's good. But like, how do we communicate better? Yeah, how do you get him to listen to me? Well, I mean, I think that we kind of didn't we acknowledge that. I mean, a lot of it is Quinny not being able to express how he feels. and that's a big source of your conflict. Yeah, I mean, that's what I said. Big source? Yeah. It's just me? No, but I think also maybe butthole. Oh, I have an idea. Butthole. Yeah. I think in this time period, you're going to have to be a little patient with Quinny because he's trying something new and you're going to have to give him room to make mistakes. Maybe he's not always going to be clear and we can't push him to the point that he gets all defensive and runs away. Okay, yeah, being patient with them is kind of what I do, so I'll just lean in. Cool. I think that's a great place to start. By start, do you mean stop? Are we done therapy? Yeah, we're starting again? Yeah, we're starting. No, no, no, no, no. You're starting your emotional journey. And I'm being patient. We're ending this therapy session. And I'm fine with that because I'm patient. God, I'm frustrated. What's the sitch? Hang on, I've got to write this down. What is a sitch? Therapy. Okay, therapy. What other feeling are you feeling? I'm not at that part yet. Okay, I'm trying to help. Butthole, what did we say about patience? I'll ask you again in a minute. Therapy makes me frustrated. Yeah. Okay. That's the sitch. Why? Looks at... Wait. Technically, it's one other feeling of my feelings. I thought it was when I get frustrated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you made the third question why. That's different than what she said. I'm not at the third question. What's the sitch and what's the feeling? Frustrated. He said that part. Frustrated. So what's the sitch? What's making me frustrated? And then why? And then what's the feeling? Sure. You mean sure? What is it? No, that's good. Now I'm stacking another checklist of frustration that I have to complete after this one because this conversation is frustrating me. Well, do you know what? I think you might need to be more patient. Oh, my third checklist. What's the sitch? Okay, well, I think we can call this for the day. And, Quinny, you can finish these checklists in private where you have room to process without any interruptions. I'm going to need more paper. Okay. Gives you more paper. How long until I can ask you about this? I would say not until our next therapy session, butthole. You want me to not ask? You think he's going to do the list if I don't ask him? I'm counting on it, Quinny. but darkness is looking quinny in the eye yeah i'm doing it we're each taking responsibility for our own actions butthole and what we have control over okay you have control over yourself and this nation he's the king and a god and everyone yes within the realm and what they need to do in service to the realm yes but you're more of an administrator of activity not administrator of emotions that's a really cool idea except we are starting a massive campaign to change hearts and minds and people's emotions. Yeah, but that's more a propaganda thing, right? Yeah, isn't every conversation propaganda? No. Well, I know someone who would disagree with you, and his name is Gormian Blantier. Do you disagree? Do you think every conversation is propaganda? Uh, I mean, kind of. I'm a cleric, so you gotta convert people. Get him. Get his ass. Hey, God. Yeah? Wait, butthole. Yeah? Seems like a good place to start. Are you propagandizing me at all times? Not at all times. When do you propagandize me? When I try to convince you of stuff? Why are you calling that propaganda? I didn't bring the word propaganda into this conversation. I was listening and then I used it. I'm a good listener. I brought it, but hang up. Wait, so you called something that you don't consider propaganda propaganda just because I said propaganda? Well, when you start to get into the technical definition, I mean, propaganda is just trying to convince someone of a way of thought or feeling. and thus most conversation is trying to do that if you're trying to affect someone. Yeah, but I feel like you do it in a genuine way. Yeah, I didn't say I do it fakely. Oh, okay. Generally, there's a negative association with propaganda. That sounds like you have a problem with propaganda. Can you tell me how you feel about that? No, this is not what we're doing. I think we decided to end the session. We're ending the session. Oh, that's too bad. Well, I'll be patient. Oh, there's a wolf. What do you mean a wolf? It could be Crandon. Oh, shit, there's more than one now. You hear a crash and a thump. Maybe we should check on that. Quiddy, good luck with your list. I'm not going to do it now. Something's happening. Gartok gets up and opens the door. You wheel to the door, open it, and you see a bloodied and ravaged Crendon in the hall just looking around, and he looks at you with his one remaining eye, and he says, Oh, good, quick, you have to go help them north of the city. You got to help. And then he dies. What? No! Oh, don't worry. 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