MBMBaM 809: Lesser Luigi Model

The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening What's up, you cool, baby? You're a precious friendship I could have never seen what was coming for me Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach My life It feels like My life Hello everybody and welcome to my brother my brother me and advice show for the modern era I'm your oldest brother Justin McElroy. What's up, Travis? They should have seen your middle as brother Travis big dog wolf wolf from from the heater or 20 McElroy I got the fucking yeah, I got the fucking bug bad boys. Oh, no I've got Mario galaxy fever me and fucking every other American on earth $7 million domestic grow so far fucking The train can't be stopped They could have while Luigi get up on the screen and take a shit in a toilet for an hour and a half and we're talking about 250 million opening weekend this guy can't be I can't be fucking stopped. I haven't seen it Does that happen in the movie? Here's you know what sucks Can I tell you what sucks guys? I googled Wario while Luigi Mario galaxy movie post-credits scene question mark It's not in there before you think I'm giving away some sort of insane spoiler I googled it and you know what happened Google AI said early reports show that while Luigi and Wario do show up in a post-credits Scene of the Super Mario galaxy movie and guess what they fucking don't so what kind of early reports? Do they have boots on the ground? They have people like on site in the trenches like yeah I have to imagine this dipshit large language model machine found my live journal That was like Christ Jesus I would do anything to get these two nasty Italian brothers in the film please I would do anything and it saw that and said well that must mean they're in it Because it's a fucking robot. It doesn't understand like wishes and dream. It doesn't understand aspirations That's what a LLM is it's the lesser Luigi model and it finds the lesser Luigi It tries to insert it into all the time and in there God. I was fucking pissed off our Wario and Waluigi brothers We don't need that there. We've talked about this so many times. I thought they were a couple. They're married Okay, it's just they get business partners. They were women and Jerry's their roommate listen I'm married. I realized that when I was watching the Super Mario galaxy movie that kind of surprised me. What's that? I'm still like I Was watching it. I was like why don't I like the first one of these more? Yeah, cuz it's like I'm seeing all this stuff like Plants I know from my childhood, you know pipes that I recognize as though I know my name and then Mario starts talking And I realized something that I don't feel great about but I'm gonna tell you guys I Still hate that he is Mario. Yeah, I it still makes me mad that Chris Pratt is Mario And once he started talking, you know, I started thinking he's still bad at this And I'm still mad that he's Mario. I thought it's been years. Yeah, I'm still furious. He Sucks at El me. He doesn't sound like Mario and I still Boys, can I have a second on a so box about Chris Pratt and voice acting? Yeah, I think is there was a take-talk clip Justin to your point. This is how I was I was yeah No, I'm backing you up. There was a minute to Can Travis have a minute to back you up hard are you building a second? bigger set box behind Invelopes the so boxes hollow so it can You know how it take is tiered. Yeah. Yeah, my cell boxes are on top of yours. So it's higher, but it's smaller Yeah, I feel like yours is bigger and you have kind of put yours on top of mine like a dad putting his son on his shoulder Like yeah, I would never do that Okay, that was a take-talk clip to publicize the movie with the cast and it was like do your impression of Yosha And then Donna Glover will judge your Yoshi and Chris Pratt volunteers to go first and then just goes Yoshi, so he just does it and it might just be the only thing he knows how to do it might just be it's like Sucks when you do voices when you do voices that is technically Lying which is a sin which Short for Christ Pratt. Yeah, it is against his religion to do sinning I will say this boys in oh gosh, I don't want to be on this hill So I'm gonna say it and then I'm gonna get off the hill real fast Okay increase precipice What no no no say with your old chest increase precipice Show me the voice actor that they come to and they say you're Mario now and this voice actor You can name literally anyone says all right and then the casting director says not so fast You can't do it Italian at all You show me the voice actor who's gonna fucking crush that role. Okay, so my first thing is It might be nice to ask an Italian person Like as long as we were putting together a list like if you're like a Justin give me a list of Give me a list of snow white Gentiles Yeah, sure play Mario better than Chris Pratt. Yeah, I could probably come up with ten right right like but the same I mean Mercer's gonna be on the list. Yeah, that's going to be on the list Yeah, I mean I got a lot of greats and I think would really clean his clock in a pretty authoritative way Yeah, that I mean memory my Mercer can walk the tightrope Matt Mercer got Ganondorf But do it hot and Matt Mercer was like I can do a hot guy on a dwarf Bazinga He gets a door fees every time there is also a way driven to do a Mario voice Yeah, at all. Yeah, that's also your own like Ben Schwartz did Sonic and he's not doing Julia white He he's doing he owns it sonic voice. Yeah. Yeah now I will say Jaleel white you've got to stop being a Chris Chris praffa kit. No, no, no, no, I'm not that's nothing I I'm not being a Chris praffa kit. I'm just saying that Sonic a Chris pratfall right now And I'm just saying that Sonic does it have a rich accent of a different sort of Culture a different sort of ethnic group and so I think it is slightly easier for one to transform that role to take Mario and do him Pretty much not not really Italian. He sneaks a little bit of he puts a little bit of on it sometimes But like for the most part zero Italian content in this mario Alan Tudyk Yeah, no, yeah, like there's lots of like okay, yeah people that are better at acting than Chris Pratt But doing the Optimus Prime voice, okay? Yeah, okay now This might be because you said transform a lot. Yeah, I'm playing in the seat of my head But if you was like Luigi, yeah, we must get the old spark like that would fucking rule now show me a better wart Then Luis Guzman That doesn't exist that can't be done. That's a that's a choice. That's something he's making a choice I'm gonna choice Guzman's an actor. Yeah, I don't know why I don't know. I don't know sounds like somebody sounds like someone I don't know why warts in the motion picture warts whole sequence in the movie seems like a total fucking fever dream What there's like, yeah Oh, it's just out of nowhere and then warts there and bird is there and they're like what's up We're from the one that people don't talk about a whole lot Do you want to have a big casino fight and they're like, yes That seems like it'd be a cool to have in the movie and then they made it 207 million dollars domestic You know that you know those packing peanuts that you get sometimes that are made from Digestible materials like corn. Yeah, and they advertise on there like check it out. This stuff is made of corn. Yeah, like you could eat it Don't don't but like you could eat it. Yeah, I accidentally did. Yeah, yeah that to me is that to me is Chris Pratt's acting Okay, it's like you they give it to you like what do you want me to do with this? Is it acting and they're like well Sort of I mean it could be acting could be don't eat it. Don't eat that Don't eat it. But if you actually Yeah, yeah, it's yeah, it's you won't die you'll live through it. You'll have No poops you won't shit It doesn't happen every time I watch one of the Jurassic World movies. I don't poop for days I saw the Garfield movie twice in theaters and I'm I mean I had to go to the hospital and get it cut out if you think that the same person Can play a dinosaur adventure man and the world's laziest cat Uh-huh. I give you credit for that like because there's probably an actor that has that range It's not Chris Pratt. Hmm. Do you know what I'm saying? Like it's not it's certainly not Chris Pratt hmm Louise he's not a dinosaur man and a fat lazy cat and I don't think he's all of those what it is just as Chris Pratt has range, but no aim Here's what's fucked up his Mario is a great Garfield his Garfield is a pretty good dinosaur adventure man He's just kind of always one to the left. Yeah, Chris Pratt star Lord brought about the idea into the MCU that literally Anybody could be a Marvel superhero and I swear to God it was the beginning of the end The moment the audience saw themselves represented on the screen by Chris Pratt was the fucking first Coffin nail it was now we're just watching a guy with a tape player Run around shooting aliens were done It was also the first time that someone got super hot for a Marvel movie and I I mean I don't know that that was as bad of a certain. Okay. It didn't obviously you didn't see Eric Banna But all right, you're right. You're right Eric. He's hooked out man. He's like eight feet tall. Well Huge Bradley Cooper doing the rocket raccoon voice would have been better as Mario Oh Rock rocker raccoon would be better as Mario Yeah, they said Bradley Cooper as rocket raccoon as Mario Mario. I'm there day one I was already there day one. I'm there day zero. I guess yeah, and well I think they recognized sort of the shortfall the the shortfalling of Chris Pratt in the first Mario That fall the Chris Pratt fall in the first Mario movie and that's why they gave him approximately Nine lines of dialogue in the second movie that bears his Christian name Yes, they he said this one in via voice memo. I think yeah a lot is Seth Rogen back as Donkey Kong in this one Fucking no, no, they got the reports in that people like that part. So they had to get rid of it They said Seth Rogen Seth wrote okay do a Donkey Kong voice a hundred out of a hundred people aren't gonna bring with Seth Rogen brought to the role he took it he owned it Donald Glover your Yoshi you can only say Yoshi and You can say that also fuck. I didn't know I had that in me you can say that also He takes it owns it disappears becomes it. It's like Luis Guzman Who's got your plot it's please mr. Guzman must make time for the other who am I gonna play in this one? Well, do you remember Super Mario Brothers 2? No, no one does well the final boss That is a big frog that burps bubbles named wart Be him you're him now own it become it he does he disappears where'd he go? Where's Louise and then he says and then he says do I need to do the whole Louise Guzman voice? Yeah, everyone always loves and they say yes, and it's not in that voice. He says Guzman which like Yeah, you want me to do the Louise Guzman voice that everyone enjoys and it is I Danny Treyho Do you want me to do the Danny Treyho voice as well? You're not in this one. Oh, Danny Treyho is Waluigi would fucking slap ass that would be good I'd love a miniscule a deep and menacing Waluigi. Oh, give me Idris Elba as Wario And Idris Elba's already knuckles so that can't fuck Idris Elba's already knuckles So he can't Idris Elba has to Idris Elba took knuckles and fucking turned it into a new better knuckle like Idris Elba is the fucking like Exception that proves the rule here because he took it he made it something fight So strong the panel but one off a whole series about it He elevates the material because if Idris Elba thinks knuckles is cool, then maybe I'm cool too Yeah, hey Idris me too knuckles is cool man. Yeah, we have something to talk about I do like to picture Idris Elba like entering a club going all these nerds are with me and like getting them in there too It's nice. I hate that I ran out for my second P break during Super Mario Galaxy And I had no kidding had the thought after they brought me the cheese for my pretzel bites I said I wish that had taken longer. Okay, if they went to go get the cheese for the pretzel I said I wish that had been a longer. I wish that had taken more time. It's exhausting I wish there'd been a longer line or something. It was an exotic. I have to go back. Yeah How often do you think somebody in a board room in a Hollywood is pitching a Mario movie Sonic movie crossover movie? Everyone is yeah. Yeah, they should just compete in the next Olympic games. Mario and Sonic we have a There's precedent a smash brother game is probably actually the more like most likely scenario Can you even imagine all how? Hollywood is about it Hollywood is gonna be so horny when they're like have you seen this video game that has every character ever in it How toyetic is it the most toyetic? It's if they use that as like an Avengers thing where it's like now We haven't used to make a Metroid movie. Yeah, I think they're working on the Zelda movie. They are we're gonna make these other movies Actually, I finished that recently. Oh, it's oh you got the part No, I'm all the parts. Whoa. I am also filming it in the backyard. It's pretty good so far. It's 13 minutes long I highly sexual. I'm a professional mascot costume fully nude I'm a professional mascot costume maker and I have recently gotten into ice hockey I've started going to a local rink with friends and supporting the team go Red Hawks They don't have a mascot and I can't stop thinking about making one for them How do I offer to make my local ice hockey team a sick ass Hawk mascot and hopefully Get paid for it. That's Lucy from London Here's what I know a little bit about ice hockey and I think that there's a Follow your lead here. I think that there is a route you can follow here that is like pretty good It is so much easier to ask forgiveness than permission In in this regard the st. Louis Blues hockey club I Really, it's so cool to wear sports stuff in the show guys I wish you knew what this power felt like I feel like I can really Mask like so deep when I'm like people really like my hair. So that's a good one I cover it up. My hair is kind of iconic true the st. Louis Blues have a guy named towel man Towel man. Yeah, he sits up in the nosebleeds Every time that the blues score a goal They ring a bell the number of times that they have scored a goal and towel man worlds around a towel while they all scream The number of goals and they throws the towel forward into the front the more forward rows So, you know, you if you know where towel man sitting you can sit in the section below him You can buy what's called the VIP towel seat and odds are you're gonna catch most of those towels Assuming the breeze are having a No, this is the question you said they have a guy and I have a guy So this idea do they have a guy like I have a rat problem or do they have a guy like I have an employee? No, he he does. He's not a fit. He's super not official guys. He wears Hey, he wears you have towel VIP seats. They're they're selling again They're marketing against the presence of towel guy he's been around since the mid 90s and he has Shorts that he painted with blues logos and sometimes he wears a tuxedo shirt and a little bowtie And he calls himself towel man and he spins around the towel and he throws He just started fucking doing that and then he's been an institution. She's every every every home game people love towel man He gets a close-up every time they score a goal the TV cameras zoop right to towel man So that's a pretty strong Mass not employed and he's not a man He doesn't represent the team when he's more of a mascot than fucking Louie the hey Who's our mascot for our cold sport team polar bear? Call him Louie for the like it's fucking you didn't think about that for a second That's got huge Chris Pratt energy. I But tell me and how it's brad stars as Louie in Louie the movie Tell me and has Lord's tall man has drive. Tom in has power He got up there and he just started fucking doing it and then the blues couldn't get rid of them So if you start showing up to these Red Hawk games and you start handing out Arby's coupons They're not gonna get rid of you What's the exact number of times you have to throw your towel into the crowd before they're like Actually, I know what we've said the other times, but don't stop doing that. Yeah, I love it do it every time Yeah, we know we've been begging you to stop throwing the towels cuz everybody hates it Yeah, but now it's an institution and you can never stop I think that it would be very powerful if you started wearing a full-blown mascot costume and Then just sitting there until the camera pan to you and like you're up on the jumbo train or whatever And you're like, oh me I guess I could do a little like dance and maybe hype But I wasn't planning on this but here I go I Think that if you're a security guard at a sporting event the number one thing you are trying to stop getting through Fake mascots because if you if you get somebody in there who's like rep I you just see somebody in a mascot costume. You don't recognize it's like no no I can't today Like I've got a lot of other stuff I don't have an email about this like I can't do that Just go to go to try Greg because I can't I mean it's hard to judge someone who has that kind of Reaction because I do think that mascots have gotten nastier in the last decade And most stuff has gotten nastier than the last decade But like you can't see some random mascot show up and be like are you gonna be chill like gritty? Or are you going to be un-chill like the Toronto Raptors mascot who just devours who just devours people just eat people raw whole out in the stands Every night can I extend your security guard, right? You see six people show up each one One person has a mascot wing on but nothing out alright, and then just normal clothes another person the right arm wing Yes, another person leg leg chest head That's more the head is probably the most suspicious the head's the hardest one to get in there Yeah, the head I think you almost have to put onto a kid as they're walking in and then take it back after their threat Yeah, I think that that's the only way you get the head in but yeah, you're right trap Maybe the maybe like the wing you put it in a sling in like a cast They don't notice that one and you got maybe the leg you wrap like a cast Yeah, and then the other leg a lot of cast The different cast so you get like one person has their left leg broken. Yeah, you know what I think the right You know what I think bullshit is that mascots only have to perform at their home games I think that's foolish I think that they should have to travel with the teams and I think that they should have to be there Do you think that when the st. Louis Blues are playing a game in Dallas? They want to fucking beat no they know everyone there hates their guts And I don't see why Louis doesn't pack up and travel along with them and just try to give them strength You're only here to help them in the home games kind of a fair weather fan all mascots ever and I'm just gonna say in character The whole trip the whole trip if I'm on the bus. I don't want to see Jeremy. Yeah, you know, I want to see Louis Yeah, I don't know guys. That's a tough room. That's a tough room with limited periphery Like you're gonna that's tough to win a crowd 35 degree cone Not as your f o v. Yeah, yeah, it's like 20% You know you got you got beverages chucking at you from all directions. It's tough room mascot Pope mobile Okay, okay, it's a Zamboni Tontic action. Yes drawing the ire a Zampope if you will You can travel around on the ice and you will protect him and it's like a tomb It's like an Orwellian two minutes hate like the home crowd's gonna love that to throw all your shit Throw all of your shit at that gritty. He'll he will take it like a fucking champ and it will make him stronger. Yeah Yeah Gritty should show up to games that his team is not involved in at all People would be excited to see gritty. Yeah, I think that gritty could be treated like a visiting dignitary Yeah, like you can't get mad at gritty. No and by the way Huge congratulations to whoever had the strength of vision to see gritty through the creative process. Yeah. Yes You know, I as somebody who does a lot of creative work You know, I can it's hard for me to imagine having an idea like gritty and just Withstanding those meetings where you're like, no, yeah, you don't get it. You don't get it dirt bag He's a dirt bag and he's insane and he's barely even aware that we're playing hockey You know what I mean? Like he's it's correct like it's and they had to go through those meetings like no, you don't get it Yeah, yeah, he's a No, no to this time. Yeah, trust me. Please just make the cut the eyes have to be bigger Yeah, I told you just make what I told you it's gonna roll Orange or he needs to make her crazy or angry You need to be able to heart pump so hard that his belly shake up and down. He needs he needs that You need him to look so wild that if he froze in place for four straight hours It would seem in character, right? Yes. Like trust me people will love hockey about it. Oh my god Listen, I'm the one who's seen this sleep paralysis demon that I'm Listen to me you have to make it so it gets out of my head please I'm pretty sure that the person who designed gritty also designed the Philly fanatic Which is like a gritty with a wild proboscis kind of coming I mean Philly fanatic and gritty are definitely related right Philly fanatic is a big green monster looks like if Oscar the Grouch Was different in every capacity except for the color of his fur And had a huge honking horn on the front of his face gritty is like this Way wilder eyes way more a feral gritty. I think Is the Philly fanatic? I think that wow same designer and so this is a person that needs to be Protected from themselves. Yes That's here. Okay. Okay. Yeah, gotta gotta gotta gotta Another another question. I like to eat lunch in my car But where I live it is increasingly hot and my car has no AC recently I noticed the cemetery down the road from my work has some great air conditioning Has great air conditioning not Anna built in McDonald's a nice big oak trees next to the roads that run through it Okay for me to pull over next to one of these trees and eat my lunch in the cemetery Or would that be disrespectful to the spirits that make it their home? That's from a lunching fiend Now I will say this pretty authoritatively You must make sure that driving is permitted in the cemetery first Because you do not want to run afoul of that if it is a no driving cemetery and you're just driving around It doesn't matter where you throw your lunch. They're gonna ask you to go Yeah If I if I see someone sitting in their car in the shade of a big oak tree in the cemetery Eating a hoagie. I'm going to assume that they are a detective and they are staking out like maybe some crime Boss has gotten murdered and like this detective is like even though he's gone I'm still gonna watch the family because like I don't know maybe he got in too deep and he felt like he was part of the family I don't know this is turning into something else as I sort of talk about it But I will assume you're a detective staking out you boys just made me so happy specifically griffin talking about a big hoagie because I was picturing like Somebody like a Lydia Dietz asked a character. There's like I want to connect. I'm I feel at home with the dad I'm comfortable here. I'm like a poet and a poet's heart And then they pull out a big old submarine sandwich and a bag of baked lays Yeah, Capri Sun and they're slamming it down and it made me so happy to picture. Thank you. Yeah, I I used to work a lot of mall area jobs and I when I was on the I used to do the Atkins, you know in low the low carb craze was was all the rage Mm-hmm, and it was not uncommon that I would take a a lunch break from my mall area job and then go Into the Arby's that's physically inside the Huntington mall Mm-hmm, and then go in order of big Montana and discard the bun and then sit there I need a half pound of roast beef inside an Arby's inside a mall in my Best Buy uniform now The reason I mentioned this is because I can remember thinking I don't think there could be a more depressing lunch than this Yeah, but I do want to credit this question after because Pulling into the shade of an oak tree in the cemetery because it's too hot to eat in my car in the sun Maybe a more depressing lunch. Yeah, then my retail break at Arby's so congrats Thank you so much for this mental image. It has washed away me and my blues Sucking down the slivers of roast beef, especially if it goes where to roll up on you at that point and be like Whoa, hey, are you okay? Hey, man She seems sad. I've got a lot, you know going on with me, but oh boy Oh my you have to practice the interaction if a crotch the old caretaker comes by and they're like You have to be ready to say it was too hot to eat in the sun So I parked under the shade of the cemetery tree to enjoy my lunch Just if you say that full volume with your whole chest people are gonna be so confused They're not gonna know what to say next they can't kick you out of having our Just having Arby's with Gamma like we used to yeah One more Arby's with Gamma and also tomorrow and maybe the day after that maybe like five days a week Yeah, I'm having a really hard time getting a processing it So I may be here eating my Arby's beef for months really until when until winter time Gamma and I had beef at the end that we didn't squash and so this is my way Squash in the beef with my dad Gamma I want to be one of those people that See a cemetery and see it as like a beautiful well-tended place of Quietude and contemplation and a place where one can go to reflect and Sort of think about life and what's important take family photos Let me finish my serious point before you do it on serious point But there's I couldn't I don't know that I can get over just how many bones are close by there's too many It's like a big like hard to it's hard to once you and it's one of those things where you can't forget a thought You can't not think about something and once I'm there and I think about one like don't think about pink elephants Yeah, yeah, but it's a bone and then it's like yeah, it doesn't scare me, but I'd rather be somewhere with a lower You know BPC bones for capital bones are everywhere though man. They're really not you live in DC Okay, there's a lot people have died there so much and the whole world long before cemetery bones are everywhere, but Sings when you're when you're a parent and you do have to look at your kid like yeah, we we keep all the bones Sure Travis there's bones everywhere There's lots of people who have lived and died but a lot of those bones have turned into bone dust and enriched the soil turn Into a beautiful tree that a caterpillar eats and then that gets powers a bird like that's all beautiful circle life stuff but a lot of this stuff here is fairly new bones and They've they're they're gonna be around for what it doesn't like again. I'm not scared. I'm not grossed out I Think I just like to be somewhere just somewhere. I'm a little scared Yeah, just a little yeah, you can say it I'm just I don't think that bones or ghosts or whatever care if you have a sandwich No, and if you're eating some fries you're having a burger. I don't think that's what would bother a ghost Yeah, now wait, do you make crazy noises when you eat a sandwich when you slop one down? You like now that With your windows rolled down because don't do that Don't munch super duper loud and tear at it like the Tasmanian devil fling and let us all over the place be Griffin Only now do I realize that in your head? They're still in their car parked under the big oak tree eating your lunch That's why they look like a cop and not because you thought that detectives always eat Sitting on the ground under a big oak tree Well, it'd be okay for me to pull over next to one of these and eat my lunch in the cemetery So what point did they say that they do get out of the car? I just assumed they get out got out and that's on me. I realized this down a little blanket Okay, Nick in the cemetery They like to eat their car. They like they love to eat in their car Love this they can listen to their favorite tunes podcast maybe so I think they're in their car. I think I think they're in their car. Let's take a break Head on into the money zone So Squarespace is our first sponsor this week Squarespace lets you make websites That can do basically anything like what well like what like a business they can do a business they can help you sell They run the business for me what it won't run the bit Well, I don't know if it'll run the business for you but I'll let you sell products and services in your time in your time on there and then You can get paid they got they do invoices the appointment scheduling I might just do one of these I would love to have appointment schedule it again Like a platform a website for you just a platform for me I get a lot of quite a lot of requests like hey Can I have ten robe row bucks? 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