#3365 The Valley S3E07 Part One: Drag Him!

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We have more fighting. We have, we have our, I think we have our our official villain for season three now, right? Danny is the official though. For life. Fuck that guy for life. Fuck that guy for life. Fuck Danny for life. What a fucking monster. What a horrible human being. And then making it even worse, he, you know, Nia has a podcast. I didn't even know that. It's called Hold My Crown. And it's called, I'm reading this from Vanderpot Recaps. It's the most honest we've ever been about our marriage episode. This interview, I mean, it's not an interview. It's her and Danny talking about their marriage and it just disgusted me and enraged me even more. I sent it to you, Ben, so you can see it as well. Yeah, I'm with you at a rate. No, it is really bad. You know, this is Nia like, well, Danny's not really a bad guy. Like, trying to give Danny a chance to kind of redeem himself and he just is worse and worse. They're talking, oh, so, you know, one knows what it's like having kids, you know, and then that changes. And, you know, we used to have so much freedom before kids and we would go traveling and we would do all of this stuff and, oh, he's just so successful and so busy and they would travel all over the place. And he's like, yeah, we can make love whenever we want it. Shut up, Danny. And then he's like, yeah, you couldn't keep your hands off me, right, babe? I'm just like, honey. So then we had kids. Yeah, that's how kids are made. And now the house feels like it's a military operation. And so she says, I do want to be kind of raw and really vulnerable right now. A few months ago, we had a conversation that was started by you. And one of the first things that was said in the conversation was our marriage really sucks right now. And it makes me cry. Like, I don't want to think about it because we're going through a rougher patch and we feel like we're in the thick of it with the baby being so little, blah, blah, blah, we're just not communicating. And communications is our foundation. And that's what we return to. And he's like, there was tension, there was resentment. And yeah, there was resentment building. And I needed to put my foot down and say enough is enough. Well, you know, of the way we were both being Daniel. Yeah, correct. Because it sounds like you're saying you put your foot down like, but you needed, you know, you need to stop it enough. No, no, I'm not saying that. But it was both of us fully, though. Yeah, it takes two. So it was like, this sucks right now. Yeah, it was really a rep window of time. We were going through it. I know this sounds boring, but trust me, it's, it's enraging. She's like, I'm really glad you started that conversation. And then I said, yeah, our marriage sucks right now. So we discussed it, you know, and they're talking about how this happens to a lot of couples, blah, blah, blah. And then he says, it makes you feel crazy because men want to feel respected and women women want to feel loved. And if one's not doing that, resentment starts to build. And she's not feeling love. She's not going to respect. And if he's not feeling respected, he's not going to want to show love. And this cycle just continues to go and go, are we in the 1800s? Both of you don't want to feel respected and loved. Only one of you, you only need all men need is respect, nonstop respect all the time. Danny, you're not fucking earning respect. You piece of crap, this fucking guy. I don't know if there's much that Danny has done over the past two seasons this season and last season that has said this is a guy who deserves a huge amount of respect, quite frankly. And I'm glad that this is finally coming to the fore. Cause I always suspected this was going on. I always felt like when they would talk, mentioned dark side Danny, they sort of would mention it in this sort of like funny way. Oh, dark side Danny. I'm like, it's not dark side Danny. It's dark Danny. It's not just like it's this funny side that comes out. It's him. It's part of him. It's who he is. And it just sort of got kind of brushed under the rug. But like now I feel like it's on full display. And I love that it's getting called out because it should because he acted totally like inappropriately today and appropriately last episode and sounds like inappropriately many other things that we didn't see. But I think that like, and honestly, like, I know people don't want to hear it. Like, I know people, everyone's like, Oh, Janet sucks, Janet sucks. But if this, if you've seen this, this dark side Danny, if this is a Danny, you've seen a witness and then you're in a, you're, he walks in and he's trying to get tequila in the closet of the pantry and then close the door. I would also be like, Oh God, get me out of here. I don't want to be in here with this guy. Quite frankly, like, I think honestly, like there's some like a little bit of indication for Janet on this. Well, I think Janet can still suck and Danny still suck. I mean, me, me thinking Danny sucks, it doesn't mean Janet doesn't suck. But he goes on and says, for us, putting God first and then putting each other first. And when you say the healthy cycle is when you're showing these things, and the big word here is unconditional. So I'm going to love you unconditionally and you're going to show me respect unconditionally. And that's, you know, if I deserve it or not, or if you deserve it or not, what the fuck? He goes, and that's the mind blowing thing. It's saying she's not showing me respect right now. I feel like she doesn't deserve for me to show her love or do this for her. And we talk about love languages. This fucking guy, I want to kill this person after reading this. And she says, you know, and this doesn't mean that you stay in a toxic relationship, or you stay in any type of abuse. And he goes physical. And she goes, no, emotional and mental. I mean, this fucking guy like, okay, yeah, as long as I fucking don't physically abuse you, this guy sucks. This guy sucks. Oh my God. You know, the dark side Danny, I stuff, I always figured, okay, this, you know, this is this little guy probably gets really drunk and acts like an idiot. And that's dark side Danny. That's what they're talking about. I didn't know it was like emotionally abusing his wife. I didn't get a whiff of that. I mean, I didn't. So I feel really stupid because I'm super judgmental. And I like to pick this stuff out. And I didn't. I just figured he's an obnoxious little idiot drunk, you know, which isn't great. That's still not great. But I just, I mean, I don't know. To me, it felt more innocent than like being like this to your wife, for sure. And the stuff that happened with Janet and or Jasmine and Michelle was never in question. That was always completely shitty and terrible. We've never stood up for that, you know, but I had no idea it was this bad. And now that we do know it's this bad, I'm like, well, what is he even doing here? We have to watch someone else abuse their wife on TV. You guys already put us through jacks. Now we have to watch this guy fucking abuse his wife and has he been like this the whole time? And you guys just haven't been showing it on camera? Because what the fuck is with this show? Well, I didn't like that. I was on someone tweeted at something like, you know, it's like, I can understand it because you go on vacation and you want to be away from your kids, you want to blow off steam and you think that's what you get to do, but then you're still taking care of the kids and someone, I think Kristen Dodie was like, exactly. He's a good guy. He just had a bad moment. I was like, it would have been a bad moment if like he could have maybe gotten away with the bad moment. Excuse if the day after they went to the music park, he woke up and he was chill and happy and fun. And it was like, okay, he was just really, really cranky and being a huge dick at the music park. I would not have let him off the hook, but at least he would have had that. But then it's two days in a row that you're going to act super, super cranky and like, and be a dick. That is no longer like, Oh, it's a bad moment. This is actually the mask has fallen and we're seeing who you really are. Yeah. And you just got beaten down by exhaustion because you have four, four under four. And now we see the true Danny. That's, that's really what this all is. And you have to even go on to the podcast and say, essentially say that he's not getting enough respect and therefore he can't show love. It's like, all we've seen has been Nia do everything for this guy. Everything has been about protecting him. Everything is about like, well, I think Daniel's just needs like a nap. You know, like he's, she's always smoothing things over. The whole thing with the whole reason why Janet really fell out with the group is because Janet at that lunch was like, Hey, if the situation's bad, I've been there before. And Nia's like, what the fuck? Why are you talking about my man that way? Why would you even say anything about my man and alcoholism? Why would you say that? And I was like, yeah, Janet. And that was truly where there was the big rift with Janet. And she became a, she became an outsider at that moment. It was because Nia was really, really stand taking up for Danny. And so for Danny to act like he doesn't get respect is so wild. And that's so crazy. And like, I guarantee the, uh, the shortfall of love that Nia receives is, is 10 times larger than what he, the shortfall of respect that he's feeling he's getting. Yeah. This guy's just a piece of crap. I mean, this and then Kristen, one thing Kristen is always going to do is stand up for a terrible man. She's always done it. I don't know why anybody surprised. That's Kristen, you know? Yeah. I mean, hello. She's been on TV a long time. She's always going to stand up for a terrible man. Oh, it's just so depressing. Oh my God. Yeah. But it felt great. I mean, I loved it. I love having, I love having like the awful people like come to the floor on this show. And it was great because we also got some Michelle and Lacey going on. Like, and honestly, like we have this great moment with Lala. But this isn't fun. This is like watching someone abuse their wife. And this was, this was just terrible. I just, I, well, and I mean, thank God for Lala and like, whoever thought I would say that, you know? Well, cause Lala, when she uses her powers for good, she's quite effective. Like that she, the reason why she's with us is because she always used her la-la-ness against the mean girls and people who are mean. And then when she doesn't have anyone to sort of aim it towards properly, she just sort of flounders and then can be really annoying. But I was like, Lala going off on Danny at the end of the episode was fantastic. I loved it because she was like, you do not get to play that with me. And the fact that he, for a moment, he thought he could even try to take on Lala when Lala has like grown up in the world of Vanderpump rules. And like this is what she lives for are these sort of confrontations. Oh my God, what a fool he is. Yep. Yeah. So that was great. And it was crazy. It was crazy to be in a position where I'm like fully rooting for Lala again. I mean, it's been years since that's happened. So you never know where TV is going to take you. That's for sure. You never know where Bravo specifically is going to take you. That is for sure. So let's get into it, shall we? This is the Valley season three, episode seven triggers and tears. Yeah. So we're still at that title. Yeah, because they say trigger a million times this episode. I know, this is funny. Trigger, they should do triggers and tears. I like it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappin's commercial. The world's most eagerly anticipated football tournament will soon be upon us. And what better way to get into the spirit than with the brand new official Panini FIFA World Cup 2026 sticker collection. Kick off your tournament journey the Panini way by collecting all your favorite player stickers from all 48 qualified teams out now at retailers nationwide and at panini.co.uk. It all starts with Panini. I love a declutter. And it's a chance to do some good by donating pre-loved and new items to your local Cancer Research UK shop. Nearly one in two people will get cancer in their lifetime. All of us can support the research to beat it. Donate your items today and help raise vital funds for life saving research to find out more about donating items to Cancer Research UK. Visit cruk.org slash pre-loved. So we're still at this amusement park Belmont Park in San Diego and Michelle and Lala have just had actually a really nice conversation about death. And now they're all going to be heading to dinner out of a local bar. So Jesse is he's really enjoying he's really enjoying that that their house he's telling Lacey that the house has like a petting zoo. He's like yeah it's really nice. There's llamas and goats and a donkey and a gym. You're not paying attention are you? She's like what no I I really don't care anything about what you have to say. She hates it. She's just so over him. Lacey does not like this guy at all. It's so funny. No. And he's just watching him try his nice guy act like wow I love llamas. She's like shut up. God. So they go to dinner and Danny rides Tom piggyback. He's like hey Mr. Everybody's so performative. Hey won't have fun. Let me ride your bag buddy. Hey everybody. Yeah because this is all he wants to do is just bro out and be silly right. So Kristen is telling Luke like she doesn't feel great and so he goes well I can't be in your body which by the way why do why is that your response? How about you say oh what's wrong? The man on this show. Not like I can't be in your body. So then can we just turn this into a housewives type show and get rid of all the men like Jesus. I know like what are we doing. So he's disgusting too and Brittany's like what are we doing. What's it called. Oh I say it is called try it. What is this a bar. This is a sports bar. So Brittany is like ride it home. You know. Yes they all gather around this this whole seating arrangement and the way it works out is that Michelle has to sit directly across from Lacey which is really not what she wants. So she's like of course I'm sitting right across from Lacey. So then she moves and Lacey's like okay cool. Love to see that. Great. She's like I'm hoping in the future Michelle and I can just get to a place of mutual respect. But the way that her and her friends treated me last summer was truly the worst way I've ever been treated. But Janet specifically I just like don't buy it with her. She does things that are so sneaky mean. It's truly like diabolical. So then Janet's like oh I'm sure they have a Belmont Park IPA. You should do that. So she's making small talk and ordering and Danny's like oh oh you're a good friend. You're best friends with Janet. Wow. Jesus. Pete. Wow. Everybody just loves Janet. Shut up Danny. Shut up you drunk ass. God I hate Danny. I can't believe this in one episode now I'm rooting for Janet and Lala. What the hell. Yeah it's weird. So then Kristen's like Kristen tells Luke like I don't feel like I want to stay here. I think I'm done. He's like so you want me to call an Uber. Do you want me to go with you or do you want me to bring you food? Like what do you want to do? It's like you can say you can say it's okay. I just I don't want to do shots. I don't want to be negative fucking Nancy. It's like well Kristen if it's any consolation you have been negative Nancy for many many years now. So that's okay. Everyone's used to it. By the way Luke you know your wife is doing shitty. You know she's in fucking adult diapers and she wants to go home and you're like yeah can I stay in party? What a loser. What a fucking loser. While he's wearing I think this is a scene where he's wearing their engagement shirt with their picture plastered on the front of it. It's like look at us. This romantic picture of us. He's like okay you go home. I'll still party. It's not like I can't feel you. We don't need your empathy you dick. You need to have sympathy here. It's not empathy. No one is expecting you to know what it's like to have just had a baby and be postpartum and be bleeding and having to wear diapers. But you know you have sympathy and you're like wow you know what I love you and this does suck for you and let's just get some food to go and go home and watch some Netflix together. You douche. I actually think that if you just said okay I'll go with you because she already said you can stay but I think it's kind of like let her be the one to say no no no you stay don't I just want to lie down I'm just not feeling well it's okay I don't need to be baby sad it's totally fine. But he's like should I stay should I stay should I stay. He's really just so beyond terrible at this and I just I actually feel so bad for Kristen because I think what sucks is that you know she clearly needs time to heal. She obviously like physically heal. She's also going through postpartum and I think that she probably if she had her druthers she would not have been like come right back on camera like she could she just take her time to get through this and but she has to like this is her job and so she has to like show up when she's like feeling miserable when she's like physically like going through it it like it sucks this sucks so much and then you have this husband who is saying things like but what about me I didn't get to go fishing it's like oh it's awful. Yeah he's still worried that he's not going to get to party with everybody that's like his biggest worry and it's the same with Danny. Danny's doing the same thing you know so to have them both doing it in the same episode is like yikes and so he's like well I mean if you feel like shit you feel like shit you know and the fact that you gave birth to our daughter and what you're going through right now she's like are you just saying this because you have a microphone on he's like no why would I just say that. So she's like yeah I want to be in bed this sucks. So Nia's telling Danny like there's tension is Luke said anything to you and looks like yeah you know if you need to go lay in bed you know because what your body is pushing out of you then you should do that you know I'm not going to tell you what you should do I'm not in your body. She's like it sounds like you're giving me shit he's like but I'm not. She goes but you're saying I'm not in your body. He's like I'm just telling you like there's only so much I can empathize with because I can't physically experience what you're experiencing that's all I'm saying. Yeah but like you can you can but you know what it's like to be uncomfortable and unwell. It's not that hard. You don't have to feel the same thing to know how to react when someone is feeling that way and that person is your partner and they're feeling that way because they just pushed out your fucking baby and you don't have to do shit in the world because you're on her TV show trying to party with her friends with all the money you're making because of her you fucking loser get your fucking zucchini sticks and go back to the Airbnb. I think that like maybe the language he's maybe striving for is like I wish I could help you more I'll never truly be able to understand how you are feeling because that's just like a physiological never and I just I just want to be there for you because I can't understand something like that but not like I don't know what's like to be in your body it's just so it's so rude just because it just feels like you're crazy like what do you expect me to do I don't know what to do like you have to explain it spit use your words so Luke is like I'm sorry I'm sorry I just I didn't mean it that way I'm just like I'm not trying to make you feel bad so Kristen talks about how postpartum has been really hard on her and how she feels really distant from Luke and how Luke is just never gonna understand what it's like to be in her shoes so then Nia goes to check in on Luke and Kristen because she senses and she can empathize more and she also knows how to empathize unlike Luke and Kristen's like it's just making me this is like big deal it's like making me so uncomfortable like why can't my fans just be like listen if you don't feel go home like I don't like it I can't physically be in your body why are you saying that why are you saying that so then Zach goes up and now Kristen's like embarrassed because now it's turning into a thing she just wanted to privately leave and now now Zach is there below what's what's going on what's happening over here yeah so why is everybody coming up to me well you are standing right at the table she walks two feet from the table so why is everybody coming up to me um so Jasmine's like yeah postpartum is real geez and so he's like sorry sorry my god sorry it's like I just don't want it to be this big thing oh my god so then Brittany comes up she's like oh my god just leave me alone so I thought you were looking at me no one was looking at you Brittany no she just wants to be meddlesome if people were looking at you they're looking at you like what's wrong with that person why is she smiling like that is that person talking to a cheese stick so Brittany is goes back to the table she doesn't want anybody talking about I think that's what she say so then Luke is like trying to reassure he's like he'll be so much more comfortable soon especially once I go fishing she's like no I don't think you actually get it I really focus like I just want to go to bed so now Luke tells us my relationship with Kristen is like not in an ideal place I feel like I'm her verbal punching bag I just wish there was a mutual understanding that we're both freaking this out and part of me believes this is a very this is very normal for new parents and there's another part of me that believes that this is insanity no the problem is she's lashing out because you are not being supportive and you keep on making this about you you know people have told me before that something that I think is really a good thing which is that sometimes in a relationship you know sometimes you want to be 50-50 in a relationship but sometimes someone can only give 10% and when they can only give 10% you step up and you give the other 90% regardless of what's going on and that's what Luke has to do here but he's still kind of stuck on the 50% he's very much in this mindset of like yeah I know you're going through it but I have my needs too it's like this is not a 50% moment this is and it may be tough on you but you need to be at that 90% right now because she cannot be there it's not even giving 50 though that's what's killing me like if if your wife is like I feel like shit I need to go is that okay first of all even asking is crazy like you shouldn't have to do you shouldn't have to feel that you need to do that with your partner but then for him to be like well I just don't know how to feel in your body I mean I don't know if you should go I mean if you want to go go I'm not going to tell you to go I'm not going to tell you no you say yeah you don't feel well let's go outside and you go outside with them and you call the car or do whatever you have to do you don't make them sit there and stand at the table and argue with you about it for another 10 minutes yeah honestly it's terrible it's not about your feelings and you didn't even do 50% of the work to get that baby out like blowing your load in somebody is not doing half the work she carried that thing for nine months she put it out through her body now she's bleeding now she's got it latched to her you know sucking the life out of her she's doing everything you're not doing 50% of anything and you want to hang around for what to watch lacy and janet hash things out that's really all that's left here for this exactly Jesus you've had a whole day out with everyone by the way you've had a whole day out yeah I think he's just being really self self-centered yeah he's just being a piece so he sends her back and returns to dinner and they're like what happened he's like well she's already in the car I don't know I think it's physical but also by the way again I also do believe like Kristen is an adult and if Kristen says you stay I'm just gonna go back like you you don't have to like then make this a moment to patronize her and pretend like do all this fake stuff of like are you sure but I want to it's like just say like okay or either you go with her and like okay I'm just gonna come with you because I want to come with you where you say okay I will meet you later tonight I love you let me know if you need anything and I'll come straight home but not the are you sure because I don't know what it's like to be in your body it's like oh like it's too much so now they try to lighten the mood and Jasmine's like oh michelle how would you feel if jesse was like an officiator at our wedding and uh Melissa's like yeah that's not gonna happen whatever makes you happy whatever makes you happy it's fine by me and like he's like you guys are not letting him officiate your wedding yeah just like of course they are Melissa goes okay then off the top of your dome do some officiating right now so he's like ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us today please be seated okay doing so well doing well so far I think I am here in New Jersey to celebrate the love of two women that I've grown so close to over the years and what does love mean to us love oh my god are you gonna give the dictionary definition like what is the dictionary it's my audition yeah of course I'm doing it this this way oh come on try harder so Lala's like can I give my auditions okay here's mine once you find love and choose to get married you know that it's gonna end and they're like wait a second Lala you eat a big gross Harvey Weinstein be level man's butt out and you think it's gonna last forever well guess what it doesn't so good luck with that but thankfully you're lesbians and lesbians stay together forever yeah that's I thought that was actually pretty funny just like you're connected for life you're like two condors so then uh Danny and Tom have a cheers and like Danny has this really intense moment he's like shaloud jeez now why contact you didn't make the eye contact never again you gotta make the eye contact and I'm like is this I'm not gonna give Danny any any sort of inch here but like does he just have terrible joke banter is this is out that he like doesn't know how to be bantry without sounding actually really intense and evil because like why are you getting so mad about the eye contact on a toast like normally it's like hey you gotta make eye contact not like you didn't make the eye contact now I'm gonna have seven years of bad sex how could you do this to me bro uh oh you didn't make eye contact now I have to take another shot while you do it right um so Tom's like whoa whoa now you can't look away and he's like eye contact with the tears staying it's like okay god I thought we were finishing okay we're not in college anymore we can't we don't need to do all these shots just because we're dating college age women doesn't mean we're still in college so um Lala's like I heard that Danny when he drinks just to one many and he becomes very obnoxious and loud and super annoying and like I hear someone super annoying and loud and obnoxious and it's like oh it's Danny so I do that I do know with myself when too many and aggression starts to happen so I'm watching Danny like a hawk and I gotta be on guards yeah so Danny's just drunk and being obnoxious he's like yeah you're not eating those things bring them over here look me in the eyes I don't focus on any negativity no negativity for me okay so wow don't don't want to say anything negative or some of my commune alcoholic you don't want that oh my god Danny you're drunk you fucking moron jeez janice yeah mm-hmm mm-hmm i was having janice having a much deserved I will add and by the way told you so this is a great lesson to Jett yeah this is a great lesson to Janet that sometimes you let people fall into their own messes you don't have to be the one the more you scream it the the less people are are likely to listen to you just let people just fall into their own messes so Danny is then Michelle yawns and he's like hey Michelle Michelle don't yawn don't want you to be labeled as an alcoholic if you fall asleep like yeah this is not really yeah it wasn't sleeping that got you labeled an alcoholic Danny well I guess it was at that at that Santa Barbara trip because he took a nap and they're like oh my god Danny's asleep why is Danny asleep oh I find it very offensive that Danny's asleep I forgot to know so fight yeah no that was the big thing but like here I don't know we are we've all been around drunk people and we always know when there's one person who gets over served and they pass out versus the person who is drinking in a way we are like this person doesn't is not drinking in the way the way the rest of us are drinking and of course he's passed out right now because he went too hard he was out of he was not pacing himself properly because he was going too hard so like he's acting like oh I just took a nap it's like no everyone picked up on something here Danny everyone picked up on it enough that Nia had to be like guys he's just napping everything's okay everything's okay like we're adults we know these things people pick up on stuff he's just so stupid too I mean here you are you come off this season where I guess he felt like he was a hero because the audience stood up for him against Janet because Janet was so unbearable that now he's just like oh so now I'm just gonna get wasted and just fuck with Janet and like like verbally dare I say start verbally accosting somebody across the table like now he's and they're like oh god he's starting she's like well I'm just ignoring it I love this this is such a fun day he's like I just don't want her to be labeled that's all and so everybody's like oh god let's just go fuck this guy you know drunkenly unleashing your true emotions is probably what's gonna get you labeled as an alcoholic sir yeah so uh Jesse's like Janet uh can you guys stay back and have a quick conversation with Lacey and me and she's like oh god okay so Janet's like um well I noticed you blocked me so I didn't want to like intrude if there's a boundary there okay so if there's anything that you want to talk to me about I'm here it's me Janet by the way love ski ball or anything that I can win tickets at I'm fun okay go ahead I've created a metaphorical ball pit between us and I just want you to know it's a safe space so Lacey goes well the thing is I don't personally like the gang up like mean girl bully thing and Michelle's point of view on me is warranted because they were married so she's allowed to be an evil fucking bitch because they're going through a hard time but the way you treat me is like so uncool like you went on national television and told the world I was threatening to sue you well you said you were gonna send everyone season to sifts so no I never said that to you I said I only said that to Michelle that I was gonna send it to everyone not to you though oh okay okay yeah I never said that well I don't have a mean girl gang up mentality okay I did not like that you sent Michelle legal a legal letter and that's the only problem I've ever had with you okay yeah I I don't have a mean girl gang up mentality but um if you need me between the hours of 10 p.m. and 11 p.m. I will be in a room on a barca lounger making fun of you with the other girls okay thank you so much but like my wish is that like I told you you hurt my feelings and then you would be like I'm sorry I treated you unfairly because I'm a ride or die for my friend and you don't deserve that but instead you're making excuses like you shouldn't have sent a legal letter okay but you don't get to tell people how they respond to you either Lacey and I'm actually team least Lacey for the most part on this but I know and I thought a lot where she's like here's what you need to say I say this and then you say this that's not yes she is which is funny when she does it to Jesse but I don't know if I like it when she does it to other people hey it's chintz here in Sophia from the girls bathroom podcast and we're currently being sponsored by kiss Chloe and Tyler from kiss breakfast has sent us a special would you rather so chintz would you rather your group chat see all your search history or your mum get a full transcript of every conversation you've ever had with a boy the group chat see my search history because I've got nothing to hide yeah I've got nothing to hide okay there she goes and I'm sure a lot of good conversations could come from that well thank you Chloe and Tyler for that would you rather question tune in to kiss breakfast with Tyler West and Chloe Burrows weekdays from 6 a.m so much carnage and so much great music hello it's Fern Cotton here my podcast happy place is currently sponsored by British Airways holidays and the Ritz-Culton Tenerife Obama right be honest what compromises do you often end up making when you go on holiday with your kids well there are no compromises needed from anyone at the Ritz-Culton in Tenerife from summer 2026 there's a new splash park opening and it's not just the kids who get all the fun activities there are curated daily wellness and cultural activities for you to choose from as well and all of this is bookable with British Airways holidays it can be secured with a low deposit and includes a generous baggage allowance and a 24-hour holiday helpline for when you're away head to ba.com slash abama to book today T's and C's apply at all protected I did forget that they did go on TV last year and accuse her of sleeping with someone from Baywatch and so I that is unsettling if that is a false accusation that's like really unsettling but that was Sheena that was Sheena and Michelle and she still was like I'm going to I'm going to threaten cease and desist I think that like everyone has the right to be annoyed that she is this this person who's off-camera who suddenly has been like thrust into Isabella's life way before she was supposed to be and now is suddenly making these like is is doing these moves of like I'm going to send cease and desist it's so it was so extra and over the top I think like Janet and all the others had a right to be like this is ridiculous and she should rotten hell for sending me a cease and desist even though now things have cooled off well I mean look I think Jesse's going back and telling Lacey oh my god now these girls are saying that you're sleeping with this person and now they're saying that you know you're probably an unfit mother or whatever other shit was going on you know because they were sitting around like this crazy bitch and this girl that she's sleeping with some Baywatch guy and she's around my daughter and and and so god knows what Jesse was telling her and she's like tell them to stop talking about me on national TV I don't want this fucking up my reputation I've got little kids like I'm divorced too I don't need this shit and he's like oh now they could do this and so she was like please stop talking about me or I'm going to send a cease and desist but like I mean that sounds totally rational on the other hand I I totally believe that Jesse was fanning the flames I believe Jesse was pitting Lacey and Michelle against each other um I don't I just don't know in what world like sending a cease and desist to people who are on reality TV and filming is going to be like something that's going to lower the temperature on something that you don't want to become a thing so like to the point where now it's come up again a season later and it's like oh yeah there was that thing with Lacey and this thing like it it is it exacerbates it massively and I think Lacey is smart actually and I think that she she should know that she she seems to have a lot of ideas of how people should react to things well this is my this is me weighing in with how she should have reacted to something and I don't think that was the way to do it so Janet's like well I mean if you all you were upset about is that I said you threatened legal action and she's like well I'm upset from the day I met you from how you treated me and said oh gosh you're Lacey I saw on Reddit that you auditioned for Housewife like 17 times and you were laughing and then I mean I even have a message from you apologizing Janet and so the producer asks her if well by the way you have a message from her apologizing so there's something in her paper so the producer asks if she's ever auditioned for Orange County and she's like yeah but that's not my issue my issue is when I met Janet the first thing she said to me is how she was googling me and doing a background check and then she went on a deep dive on me on Reddit because that's weird and inappropriate I personally think sending like threatening to send like a cease and desist is worse than someone saying I looked you up on Reddit like I don't know I just well she's not sending this I mean yeah okay I'll I mean I respect your opinion I just think that she's sending a cease and desist because she's hearing about stuff they're saying about her on TV it's not like it's coming out of nowhere you know she's just like well but she but she said that like I don't know I just I feel like she's she's acting like wow Janet that was so extra that you looked something up on Reddit about me like that's so extra but like but you sent a cease and desist that's extra too like you like like it's all extra like you can't act like you're not doing extra things as well in this situation so Lacey's like but am I lying and Janet's like well I don't think that was it exactly but sure okay if that if that came off offensive to you I'm sorry okay well first you don't first of all you don't audition for housewives but you were laughing about it like you should be like yeah I said that it was a bad joke it was in poor taste just what you should have said yeah why was it in poor taste to laugh about auditioning for the housewives I think that's actually a good taste to laugh about that so Janet is like okay you know what I just want to have a fun weekend and I'm really happy that you guys are here and I hope you guys have a fun weekend so Jesse's like this is the type of apology that everyone hates you for and Jason's like whoa whoa whoa whoa what's the type of apology whoa whoa what she's like because Lacey's like because it's not an apology and Janet goes well I guess you guys don't mean that much to me so it's not worth my time yeah so she gets up and leaves I mean I will say it's weird for Lacey to be trying to start some kind of on-camera fight with the ladies like you're with a guy who was divorcing somebody of course she's gonna like get with all the girls and be like fuck that girl I mean it seems weird like a year later if you're gonna try and come into this group to be like I didn't like that you didn't like that I was with Jesse you know or how you reacted when you first met me yeah it does seem a little much of a stretch and she's like the way you guys treated me last year was horrible and I want an apology and it's like yeah I mean it was you know like yeah it's shitty if they're going on TV and accusing you of sleeping with someone and you have like no recourse or whatever but then also like it was like one small like minor chapter in the front of the season it wasn't like at this thing that got dragged on the entire way and there's all I don't know there's just like something weird here that I just don't I just don't trust it I don't trust it it says like would she would she refuse to come on camera last season and all of a sudden she's on camera this season she's like doesn't want to be in filming and yet shows up to the season finale there's something like that is like I can't articulate what it is but well here's one way to articulate it and it's that she's putting it on camera herself which is I've auditioned for Orange County God knows how many times I didn't get that and now I'm dating some guy I clearly don't even like that happens to be on another show on Bravo so it's like okay like we see why you're here but um you know I think if we're just taking this at face value like okay she's someone trying to come into the group coming in and starting a fight isn't the best way I mean I would say like come in and be like hey look I know we had a rough start and it was super weird how I've kind of been brought in but I'm here so it would be nice if we could like try to get along it's more like let's move forward I want to just like forget everything from last year would have been the right vibe because I actually believe it or not I don't really dislike Lacey but I just think I don't know like there's like a lot of red tape around her and I think she's acting like there's not there's like she's acting like she was just this easygoing person who got who got dragged into this mess and I feel like there's more to more than meets the eye but I not in coffee today and I'm really having a hard time articulating my feelings on this matter so that makes sense that makes sense what you're saying you just yeah we don't know yet we don't have enough evidence you know I mean I like her okay so far but yeah I think she's actually way better than I thought she would be to be honest but I just think I don't know demanding this apology just feels it should just be a I know things were I know things were said last year and I think it was because we were both standing out for what we thought was right but let's just like move forward we don't need to have this tension between us yeah it feels very much like I'm new and I'm gonna come for the villain you know yeah I'm gonna have a I'm gonna have a fight on TV and it's like just calm down there you just got here you know so Janet leaves and she's like well I've met Lacey a couple of times and the fact that she thinks I'm digging up information is interesting because everything I know about her she's come out and told me now do I know the square footage of her house and have interior shots of it yes I love Zillow okay do I have her tax returns I sure do but I mean it's just all public information because you know Janet probably does have all of that stuff all of that and uh Jason's like wait wait Janet stay for a minute Janet and Jesse's like and there she goes this is what she does she did this in Santa Barbara when I brought up Lacey and Lacey's like don't yell at her Jesse and he's like oh no it's a Janet thing that's what Janet does and she's like do not yell at her don't take my battle Jesse this is my scene on TV yeah she's like this is my moment but also she knows that Jesse ruins everything and she's like trying to actually have like some sort of breakthrough or whatever and so Jesse just starts clapping and Lacey's like stop clapping don't clap no and Jason's like what are you what's going on this is like too far you guys this is too far she's like fuck you guys so then Jesse's like yeah better walk away she always walks away and so Lacey's like don't yell over me this is my scene stop it yeah fucking Jesse so she's like he's like she always walks away from a battle it's not your battle dude go away and Jason's like what's your problem Lacey's like can you just stop talking Jesse okay I'm gonna get upset with you and this is kind of why I like Lacey it's nice to hear somebody be like hey maybe like let's not yell at women at a restaurant you fucking weird no the hell yeah especially like for me quote unquote yeah well yeah exactly like I don't need you to be like my knight in shining armor especially when I'm earning all the money in our relationship so Jesse's like well don't be my he's like be my teammate like don't like stop me and say that and she's like well because I don't appreciate you yelling at me in my ear because well but because Janet does the same thing every single time Janet can just be like can't just be like you're right I forgot I wrote that to you I'm sorry she instead tries to manipulate the situation and then jumps up and storms away it's like sit down take your medicine just grow up just like just this drives me nuts but the thing is like how many times has Jesse not sat down and taken his medicine and not grown up but she didn't she also didn't try to I mean I hate standing up I really do not like this position but I'm gonna stand up for Janet because she didn't try to manipulate anything she just said okay sorry and then yeah when you didn't like that she was like well you don't mean that much to me bye and she left I mean she stayed pretty respectful you guys come on now I mean I know Janet sucks but you're taking like a lot of past stuff and trying to like still make it a this season thing and that's just not how it works and you're all gonna look fucking stupid and Jesse you shouldn't be starting fights with women period but especially like in public like what's what's wrong with the men on the show I'm gonna ask it for the 20th time like I don't need to see the men treating women like shit I just don't need it you know yeah so Janet is honestly Jason is the one who's really emerging the best out of these guys I have to say so Janet is like she's like look I'm not trying to poke at you I'm not trying to start anything I'm telling you the only thing I ever disliked was the legal letter thing and that's not like this hatred or animosity towards you even though I will be making fun of you later this evening at least it's like yeah but like that's my whole persona now like you google my name and it's like Baywatch cheating threatening lying I'm like she goes David Hasselhoff blocked me I mean oh my god I think his new wife did and I was like never referring to him I feel so bad I've been blocked by David Hasselhoff's new wife I feel like if you search Lacey is Baywatch what comes up I don't remember so then uh Janet's like I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings genuinely and she's like I just I don't go and sit with like six girlfriends and gab about it you know one thing I am forgetting is that this was filmed last summer I think somewhere around I think it was in the summer or maybe late summer but it was much closer to the last season so all this stuff seemed probably was fresher in their minds and definitely fresher in Lacey's mind and because it was just all airing on tv so that's why to me I'm like this is so old why are you rehashing this but maybe it's like not as old for Lacey as it is for us I'll give her that that was a few weeks ago for her so um but also of course you sit down with six girlfriends and gab about it like who doesn't and Janet's like we've but we don't genuinely and Jesse's like yeah Lacey gave me your car key Lacey give me your car key I'm gonna go get your car and she's like um can you apologize for yelling he's like ah at some point she's no you need to apologize right now he's like okay forget the car then and Janet's like can we you know we can all move forward if you just peg him tonight she's like ew what's that I don't even know what that is she goes it means if you fuck him up the butt she's like ew I don't even talk about butt stuff add that to the list of things to get offended by she's like yeah okay great well let's get to the car that was sort of a funny resolution to this congratulations you've reached the end of part one of a two part recap for part two go look for the recap that says part two see you over there suckers watch what crap ends would like to thank its premium sponsors she answered the call it's adiapol it ain't no thing like Allison King our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's Amanda Foster it's always automatic with Ashley Otto put your hands together for Carly Clap get on the right foot 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