Stop Feeding Tantrums & Outbursts

Tantrums are not based on big feelings and big emotions. They're mad because they didn't get their own way. Think about it that way. You do not validate that. Why do you think that connection afterwards is so important? If you're not going to connect after a tantrum, don't even ignore the tantrum. I think that's mean. Now she blows up at school over everything. She takes zero accountability for her actions and escalates with big emotions in seconds. When they're worse at school and better at home, it means one of two things. Welcome to the Bratbusters Parenting Podcast. My name's Lisa Bunnage. I'm a parenting coach. I'm a mom. And I'm Amy Bunnage. Lisa's daughter and I handle the marketing and planning here at Bratbusters. While I don't have kids, each episode will dive into parenting topics and Lisa will answer your questions. Let's get started. Okay, sweetie, what are we talking about today? Today's topic is all about tantrums. Oh, that's never come up before. Yeah, we don't, we don't ever get any questions about tantrums. Well, I never have. No, okay, so this will be an interesting one. Hopefully we'll be able to come up with something to discuss. You often talk about the idea that parents really, you think need to embrace the tantrums. Do you want to go over that? Yeah, a tantrum is a loss of emotional control, not getting their own way. And these are the tantrums over the wants, not the needs. If it's a tantrum over a need because they're tired, they're sick, they're hungry, you meet their needs, you feed them, you look after them. You know, so that's different. These are the tantrums over the wants is what I'm talking about. A good example of that is when you say, okay, I'm going to turn the iPad or give me the iPad now because it's time to go to bed. And then they have a fit. A tantrum is a loss of emotional control, not getting their own way. That's why you need to ignore that. So they need to learn that that does not work, that their tantrum is not going to get what they want ever. Okay, so here's the way tantrum goes. Generally they start kicking, screaming, they're yelling, they're saying horrible things to you. You are just looking the other way, filing your nails. But it's important that they know you, you know they're having a tantrum, but you're waiting for it to end. You can just be filing your nails, you could be doing the dishes, but you don't look on your phone and you don't get into a conversation with someone. I think that's true. They're still going through something, right? But it's not as full of big feelings and emotions as you think it is. It's just based on anger, okay? At anger, at not getting what they want, when they want and how they wanted it. That's why it's very important to ignore that because if you do give that any attention, it's going to work. They're tantruming to get attention. So anyway, as soon as they're finished having the tantrum, you just say, oh, y'all done? Do you want to go read a book or do you want to help me do the dishes? Then you give them attention. So you ignore the crazy and then you reward the calm. Whenever you do a video on tantrums on your social media, I think obviously the word ignore, I think that that has a lot of heat around it. So do you want to discuss your take on that? There's probably a softer word to use there, but that's why I'm not going to come up with it because I just like coming up with a ignore. You're basically ignoring it. What's wrong with that word? So yeah, I just like to say it like it is. You're basically letting them know that this tantrum is not going to work. It's not going to upset you because you're a leader, you're very calm. You're always calm during the storms and then you can be crazy during the rainbows. So when they are, you know, and when you're having fun with your kids, you can be chasing them around the house screaming with underpants on your head and being goofy. That's great. But during the storms is when you're really calm. Now they will eventually move away from what doesn't work. If tantrums never work, it never gets attention or never gets them what they want. They'll just stop having them, but they will diminish over time. Okay, it's not going to happen right away. And they'll diminish in intensity, frequency and duration over a period of time. Because it's something that they're kind of hard wired to do. They're born, they're either born to have tantrums or they're never going to have them. It's just the way they're wired, okay? So it's not your fault that they have tantrums, but it is your responsibility to teach them out of those tantrums. So you don't think that all kids need to have tantrums? No, they don't know. I've never had one. You never had one. It's just a basic personality trait. On the topic of kids having tantrums, there is a message online that having tantrums is just a normal part of development and all kids in general have them. Well, that's a very blanket statement that not all kids do have them. That's just poor reporting. Whoever said that, that's ridiculous. You're born to have them when you're not. I've never had one. You've never had one. We're more likely to stop and think and try and work through our anger. We just don't react emotionally initially. But yeah, no, that's just wrong. It's ridiculous. I've known lots of kids who've had tantrums and lots who've never had one. So it's not necessarily a normal, it's a normal part of some kids' development, yes, but it's not a normal part of every kid's development. So yeah, that's just wrong. It's bad information. You talked about the idea of connecting after a tantrum, but why do you think that connection afterwards is so important? If you're not gonna connect after a tantrum, don't even ignore the tantrum. I think that's mean. What you're teaching them is, when you're mad and you're having an absolute fit, this is not the way to go about things. But as soon as you calm down, as soon as you take a back, as soon as you get over that, then you'll get attention. You're just training them out of that. It's not an effective way to communicate because it is when they're little, that's what they do, right? But it's not a way to move forward. So you're just teaching them that, wait a minute, you're not gonna get attention while you're having a tantrum. And then when they stop, they need to know the difference. They need to understand that, wait a minute, when I stop doing this, or if I don't do this, then I'm more likely to get attention, right? But especially right after a tantrum. You gotta be fast though, you gotta come in quickly. So they're kicking and screaming, as soon as they stop, you see them coming out of it, you go, oh, y'all done? Do you wanna go read a book? Do you wanna go to the park? You connect. If you don't connect, don't even ignore the tantrum. I think it's mean. And what age are you talking about here? About 18 months onward, around there. And then what age do you think that kids usually generally stop having tantrums? Three. Like how many disclaimers that usually generally sort of maybe kind of stop? Yeah, about three. That's when you'll see them, they start to peter out and by about three. The thing is by three, they stop and think before they act, or they have the ability to learn how to do that. And if you've been a really good leader up until that point, around three, my son had his last tantrum with me was three. And then he had another one, a smaller one with his dad when he was about three and a half, I think. So, and then that was the last one. It wasn't even a big one, evidently. It wasn't there. But yeah, so around three, I think, it's just something that you're born to do. And it doesn't mean that, and some kids have them a lot worse than others. And some of them are really violent tantrums too. And some of them, if they continue to have tantrums past three and a half to four, there's, you must be feeding it. You just have to be because they don't, they only do what works at that age. Once they're about three and a half to four, they only do what works. If tantrums are still working, they will keep doing them right through the teen years and adult years. They're just gonna keep doing them. Okay, but if they stop work, if they don't work, they will stop having them. So in your eyes, what does quote unquote feeding it look like? Attention, eye contact, talking to them. The only attention I would give them is I would physically restrain them if they were hurting themselves, hurting someone else or damaging property. Okay, so I just keep them safe. And you're gentle when you do not hurt them, obviously. You're just keeping them safe. But I still wouldn't talk to them or look at them. I'm just preventing damage, right? Okay, I think that's everything that I wanted to cover in the intro unless there's something else you want to before the questions. Well, the calmer you can look during a tantrum, the better. You wanna look kind of sleepy and bored. You don't wanna look like you're intently doing anything else even particularly. Just kind of, the more calm and sort of indifferent, you can look the better. Maybe a few yawns thrown in and, oh, you know, like it just shows a different, you're taking your energy way down. Their energy is like at a level 100. You want yours to be about a level maybe five. And you, because you always wanna stay on the high road. What I mean by that is you stay on the calm road and let them join you there. Okay, so the crazier they get, the calmer you wanna get. You talk about the idea with calm leadership is you really wanna be that like safe space for them to land. Is that the idea here where you're staying there? You're showing them that you're calm and you're not reacting. Is that the idea? 100%. Here I am. I'm a safe place to land. As soon as you've come in for a landing, then I'll start talking to you. Yeah, and you never discuss a tantrum afterwards either. A lot of parents wanna do that. Huge mistake, huge mistake. What's the point? What is the point? If you can come up with anything, I would love it if someone could come up with something to convince me that you should discuss a tantrum. I can't, I've been dealing with kids for 50 plus years. I would never discuss a tantrum. I can't think of anything, but if anyone listening can, they can add it to the comment section. Yeah, sure. Why on earth would you discuss a tantrum? What's the point? You're just giving it more attention basically. Where you put your attention is what grows. And then I think if this is someone's first podcast, what do you think the most important part of calm leadership in general is? In general, listening. Yeah, listening, especially as they get older. They wanna feel heard and understood. And like you have compassion for them. Well, okay, their love language is fun, right? So connecting is everything. But listening is a part of connecting as they're growing up. But connection is everything, fun. And also be positive. Kids are drawn, and I was gonna say humans are too, but I meant was adults. Adults are drawn, or I am in particular. I'm very drawn to positive people. I'm very drawn to people who make me laugh and make me feel good. And kids are like that. They wanna laugh, they wanna have fun. That's their love language is fun. So yeah, be fun with them, have fun. And the less focused you are on discussing the bad behavior and the tantrums is not bad behavior by the way. It's a loss of emotional control over not getting the wrong way. It's not bad behavior. But the more attention you give all of that negativity, the less respect you're gonna get. Because children really respect someone that make them feel good about themselves. And discussing that stuff does not make them feel good. You've also talked about the idea that also the less time you have for connecting. Pardon me. If you're focused on all the bad behavior and the tantrums, then you're cutting out your connection time, your fun time with your kids. So yeah. And when I was working with kids, I had no leverage. Like I couldn't take away an iPad or anything because I'm just there as a behavioral mentor. But I was fun and they didn't like it when I got quiet. So that's all I had. I would just say, I'll tell you what, I didn't like what you just did. So I'm just gonna go quiet for 30 seconds. You can't do this with your kids because these are kids I was with constantly giving them attention, right? And they liked that. But with your own kids, you don't do it this way. But that's all I had. I just got quiet. They hated it. I'd say, I'm just gonna go quiet for 30 seconds, okay? They hated it. Sorry, Lisa. That's okay. 20 more seconds was no big deal, but they didn't. They got the message. I pulled away fun, Lisa. So I was disciplining them, but I just pulled away fun, Lisa. That's all. Honestly, even without growing up, I remember if there was any discipline or anything, it was always mom just got real, real dull. You got very boring very fast. Yeah. Just real, like I remember there was a lot of laughter growing up. There was a lot of fun, but discipline was not the time for that. No, it was like, hmm, that was interesting. And they go, oh, sorry, mom. That's all right. I'll tell you what I'll get you to do. I'm gonna get you to help to clean that up or something. Okay, okay. And then it was over. I didn't discuss it. Did I discuss bad behavior? Not that I remember. No, why would I? That's negative. I dealt with it. There was a consequence for it. And that's it. It's all gone. That's the pool story. Check it out. You can just Google Bratbusters pool story and it'll explain all this. I deal with bad behavior. I get it. It's like fast. And then I move on to connecting. Okay. Should we get into the parenting questions? The reason is if they feel good, they do good. If they feel bad, they do bad. That's why I focus on the good stuff and the positive stuff. If they feel good, they do good. We're all like that. Okay. Questions. Okay. The first one is Anthony from the United States. My daughter is three and four and four months. Can we put no tantrums on the behavior board? They seem to last forever when she's with me, her father. No, you're putting emotions on the behavior board. You can't do that. It's a loss of emotional control. You can't put that on there. No, you can't. That's like telling a child, no crying. It's, no, you can't at all. You put actions on there. Okay. So it's like, you can put no hitting or take your dishes, put your dishes on the counter before you leave the kitchen, stuff like it's actions. Yeah. You can't put, you can't put emotions on there. It's a, tantrums are not caught up in a lot of big feelings and emotions, but they still are based on emotions. It's based on anger. So what you're saying is don't be angry anymore. That's how she's expressing it right now, but she will grow out of it once you learn how to deal with this more effectively. And if this is someone's first time, they may be like, what is this behavior board you speak of? Do you want to go on about that? The behavior board that I speak of is on bratbusters.com. And it's just full, it has you on there too. Everyone has a rule and everyone has a consequence. And then the second week you have another behavior board. So you're going to have three of them after three weeks. Okay. The kids have two consequences though. It's all explained on the free behavior board. So, and it starts at the age of three under that. It also has a section for toddlers. If you have kids under three, but they're not on the board. And under three, you use consistent corrective actions. It's different. Okay. And you can get access to that when you join the newsletter. So the next one is Kayla from Canada. My daughter is eight years old. She's a lovely, kind, smart, strong-willed kid that loves arts and crafts. As a baby in toddler, zero issues. She was absolutely lovely. Once we started kindergarten, she became a whole new kid and not for the better. The first day of the school called me to talk about her behavior and asked me to come sit in class. These outbursts have continued and progressed over the years. She's now in grade three. Now she blows up at school over everything. She takes zero accountability for her actions and escalates with big emotions in seconds. Now things aren't perfect at home. And I have seen these blowups, but they are far and few between. They are extremely short-lived when they do happen at home. At home, it's mostly if I'm out of the room and my husband has told her she needs to stop something or that it's time to do something. How on earth do I get her to behave the way she does for me, for everyone else? We just did another podcast and the same kind of question came up. And when a kid is, you say that she's worse at school, it's usually the other way around by the way. They're usually better at school and worse at home. But when it's this way, when they're worse at school and better at home, it means one of two things. Either the first one is something's going on at school that's really upsetting them. Might not be anything huge, don't worry about that. But it might be something like that, which is the rare reason. The most common reason for kids acting out at school and not at home or less at home is because you're catering to her. You're trying to avoid the scenes. You're trying to just walk or tippy toe around her so that you don't upset her. Okay, school doesn't do that. That's usually the difference. Almost always that's the reason. So you're tippy toeing around her, you're probably more the pleaser parent at home, trying to avoid a scene. Yeah, like I said, that doesn't happen at school. So just watch, up your parenting skills, your leadership skills at home, and then the school should kind of, it should sort of, her behavior there should sort of move over there to take care of itself. But that makes sense, doesn't it? Because a lot of, like they don't have to share as much at home. You probably make sure that she has whatever she wants sort of thing, you know, a little bit more of that, right? Think about it. I think there's more stuff that gets thrown into the mix at school. Well, they have to share. They have to do what they're told. If they wanna continue playing with something, it has to stop anyway, because it's time to go for lunch or something. So, but at home, you probably give in to her more, okay, another five minutes, teacher doesn't say that. It just says that she's maybe a little bit spoiled and entitled at home. That's what, I didn't wanna say that, but that's what it is, spoiled and entitled. Yeah, you're giving in to her too much. You're trying to sort of tippy toe around her, trying to make her happy all the time, that pleaser parent style. And it actually makes them unhappy. If they're in charge and they're bossing you around and being disrespectful, they're miserable. So that's what the pleaser parent style does. But yeah, you're trying to please her too much. I'm almost sure of that. That's usually the reason. Do you find that kids almost get stuck in a loop as well? It's like if they're used to doing this at school, it becomes a cycle of like, that's kind of a kid I am. No. Okay. It makes sense that that would happen. I think we get cemented more as we get older. She is eight, not so much. No, she's still quite pliable. It's amazing how quickly they can change. Like, and they often change depending on who they're with too. So their identity, it is sort of formed, their personalities formed in the first seven years, but she's only eight. And the personalities formed by observation, not by conversation or anything. It's, they're watching. That's how they form. So at eight, she's still very pliable. So it doesn't need to become her identity, but I can see why you'd think it would, but no, not at that age. At my age, yes. I'm 65, yes. That's, my identity is more cemented, but not at her age now. Okay. The next question is Allie from Brazil. How to approach a toddler having a meltdown over a need when you cannot give it to them? My 20 month old daughter will now often skip naps at nursery, but she couldn't possibly make it through bedtime without one. So I will normally put her down for a quick bridge nap, usually 15 or 30 minutes, depending on how late it is. Understandably, she will often wake up very upset as she is very obviously tired, but I cannot let her nap longer as it'll affect her bedtime and nighttime sleep. We're going through one of those moments right now, and she's been crying for 20 minutes nonstop, doesn't want to be held. And when she lulls in her cry for a second, I'll immediately offer to play a game or read a book, and she starts screaming again. The only thing she wants from me is to hold her while standing up, and we'll lose it if I sit down. I can't hold her while standing for longer than just a few moments because I have back problems, and it hurts a lot when I do. All this is over a need because she is tired, but since I can't put her to sleep, what should I do? Well, it's sort of a need, but it's not. She does need comforting, I'll agree with that. She does need more sleep probably, but it's not appropriate at that time. So you've woken her up, she's in a mood. The need is not that you hold her while you're standing up. The need is that she needs comfort. Comfort her on your terms. So in other words, you can sit down with her in a rocking chair or something, and just read one of her books quietly to yourself, or you might wanna sing or hum. She can come and crawl in your lap. You are making yourself available to her, okay? So her need is not that you stand up and hold her. Her need is that she wants to be soothed. She needs to be soothed, okay? So that's when I would do it on my terms. You got a bad back, I do also, so I understand that. So yeah, just sit down in a chair, and then she can come and crawl into your lap. You're making yourself very available to her on your terms, not on her terms. Are your kids driving you nuts? They don't have to. Check out bratbusters.com for my bootcamp courses if you wanna learn how to become a leader. The next one is Priscilla from the United States. My daughter is three and a half, and my son is 16 months. She was playing with her Barbies, and my son started grabbing them. This upset her, so she bit his cheek. I then took the Barbie away that I knew was her favorite, and I said, you bit your brother, so I'm taking your Barbie away for 10 minutes, and set an alarm. During the 10 minutes, she's screaming and having a tantrum yelling, I hate you, mother. I'm ignoring her, so then she starts yelling at my husband. He keeps telling her that she can have the Barbie back in 10 minutes. The 10 minutes are up, so my husband grabs the Barbie, hands it to her. Mind you, she was still in that tantrum state. She smacks the Barbie out of his hand, so then he picks up the Barbie, and he smacks her on the hand, and then also takes the Barbie away completely. If it were me, I would not have smacked her on the hand, but I probably would still have taken the Barbie away completely. Just wondering on your take and how you might have handled the situation different. Well, the situation is, what she's reacting to is the injustice, and then you went after her, even though she was the one that there was wrongdoing done to her. So she was playing with her Barbies nicely. Someone comes along and messes them up, okay, her little brother. She is little. She doesn't understand, he's just a baby, and he doesn't really understand, okay? Don't expect too much from her. So then someone came along and messed up and did wrong to her, and then she's punished for it. She should be punished for biting him, but you should also say he can't do that to you. So from now on, what we're gonna do is get a system in place where if she wants to play without being interrupted, she can go in her room, shut the door, play on her bed, or play up on the dining room table where he can't get access. See what I'm getting to? You're going after her, but she was actually done wrong, and she reacted poorly. That's true, so she needs correcting, but she was done wrong. Now, if she trusted you more as a leader, she would not have bit him. She would have said, he came over and ruined my Barbies, and I would have said, okay, well let's set them up so he can't get to them. See, I would have fixed the problem in the first place. I would have prevented that whole situation from happening. She was done wrong, then she reacted poorly, and she got in trouble. You see? Not to say the baby should, the baby shouldn't have access to her stuff that she's playing with if she really doesn't want that to happen. Does that make sense, the way I explained that? I think so. Do you want to maybe address the smack on the hand? Well, obviously you don't do that. Okay, you don't hit kids. So yeah, you already know that, right? It's just not, because what you keep doing is now she's upset because there was this injustice done to her. She feels like she was treated unfairly, and I agree. She was treated unfairly, because you didn't even address the fact that what she's supposed to do is she always supposed to have everything ruined, and someone come in and come along, and then barge into everything and ruin everything for her? Is that fair? No, it's ridiculous. I would have a spot and say, if you choose to play on the floor where he can get it, then that's your fault. Otherwise you can play on the dining room table where you will not be bothered, okay? You see how I'm setting her up for success? You set her up for failure. You went after her when there was an injustice done to her. Okay? And then she kept getting it. Now she's upset. She's feeling like you don't understand her, because you don't. You didn't get that whole situation, right? I do. I see it. I see it from her perspective. She feels like there was an injustice as there was. So now she's in a spiral. She's feeling misunderstood, disrespected, unfair, injustices, and then he got away with it. She doesn't understand the difference in age. He got away with ruining her fun. Now she's being punished for it, over and over and over again. You see how it's a spiral? Yeah, I would have prevented that in the first place. I would have said, look, if you want to play uninterrupted, here's how it can be done. Right? Does that make sense? I'm very organized. I'm very fair. And I make sure I get kids in positions where they don't need to get in those situations. And then if she chooses to play Barbies on the floor, and then he goes after them, I would say, well, you asked for that. Like I just would. That was your choice. Okay, we have one final question. So Beth from Singapore. My son is two and a half years old. How do we navigate tantrums when he is unwell? Do we give in or hold out because he's not well? If they're sick, you give them whatever they want. You completely spoil them rotten. There's no rules whatsoever. Oh, that's a quick answer. Yeah. If a kid is sick, they get whatever they want out of me, whatever. I give all the tantrums constant attention and love. And yeah, yeah, you never ignore it. You're sick. You meet their needs and manage their wants. Okay? Tantrums based on wants are when they just mad because they didn't get their own way. A tantrum based on not feeling very well. And even if they want that iPad that they're not supposed to have, I would give it to them if they're sick for sure. They understand the difference. Once they're well, again, you go right back to normal. They slingshot back really quickly. They get that when they're sick because they're not in their right minds when they're sick. They're just unwell. See, I spoiled them rotten when they're sick. I remember that growing up. I do remember it's so funny how we have like associations with things. I remember white rice with butter and sea salt. You would always make that whenever out Tummy's were a little off or something. And it's just like that comforting. Like it's such a simple meal, but it's so comforting. And they could have eaten it in bed. I would have sat with them. Yes, you let us eat in bed because we like in our house, eating on the couch and eating in bed when we were little, when we were teenagers, it was different. But when we were little, that was like a no go. Oh, food was only had at the table, right? That was it. No walking around with food, even snacks, nothing. It was always at the table. When they were sick, there's no rules, none. You meet their needs. Their needs are comfort and, yeah. It's being spoiled and pampered when you're sick. Yeah, while I wouldn't say I loved being sick, I will say there were perks. Yeah, I remember that when I was little, my mom was just spoiling me rotten, bringing me, well, I remember hot water bottles. My mom would bring me a hot water bottle and just, and I remember my voice got like this. And another thing I went, yeah, hello, not fast enough. So yeah, I was spoiled rotten when I was sick too, but you're not well, so it doesn't really sink in. You just are so whiny because you're feeling sick, right? I know I'd start to feel better. I'll be like, darn it. Yeah, that's right. Don't, oh, you got no fever anymore. Okay, get out of here. Rice in the kitchen. That's right, get the mop and mop the floor now. Okay, that was it for the parenting questions. Okay, so tantrums was the issue. Remember tantrums are not based on big feelings and big emotions, okay? They're not because they feel unloved. They're mad because they didn't get their own way. Think about it that way. You do not validate that. You completely ignore that anger. They need to process it. They need how to learn how to self-regulate themselves. You can't teach them that. They will self-regulate by watching you. Your calm is anything, you're completely ignoring them. In other words, this isn't on. This isn't gonna work on me. That's all you're saying. But as soon as they stop and they are positive now, in other words, they're not having this freak out, then you give them a tension. They will quickly put that together, okay? When they're having tantrums, they will wean out of them. They're not gonna have, it's not gonna happen overnight. They're not gonna have a tantrum on Friday. You do it really well. You ignore them really effectively. And Saturday and Sunday, they'll never have another tantrum. It's not like that. They just slow down. They peter out, okay? They diminish in frequency, intensity, and duration over a period of time. But they will eventually go away. Because kids only do what works past the age of three and a half to four. They only do what works and they stop doing what doesn't. If a tantrum never works, they're not gonna keep having them. Why would they? Because they make more sense than adults. We're stupid. I know I am. I keep doing the same thing repeatedly year after year, expecting different results. Because I'm an idiot. Kids are not. They're not. They're very smart. They're very adaptable, extremely adaptable. You're not an idiot. Well, I am with that. We all have stupid. I like, I think it's funny. We all have dumb things that we do. That's me. I try the same thing repeatedly, expecting different results. I'm really bad for that. I'm very habitual. Okay, should we end there? I think that's a good one. Tantrums are one of the bane of a lot of parents' existence. If you realize they're just temporary, especially if you handle them correctly, that gets easier to manage. Remember that they are feeding off your energy half the time. So you get your energy in place. You can handle yourself. You can't always handle their emotions. You let them do that, but they're doing it by watching you. Leaders lead by example, not by lectures. You lead by example. Okay, thanks so much for joining us. We'll be back again talking about another parenting topic soon enough. Happy parenting. Thanks for tuning in. If you're ready to dive deeper, check out bratbusters.com to learn more about the behavior board, parenting courses, and private one-on-one coaching with Lisa. If you've enjoyed the show so far, we'd love it if you could take a moment to follow, rate, and review us on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback helps us reach more parents just like you. The information provided in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional advice. Lisa is a parenting coach, mom, and grandmother. She is not a licensed psychologist or counselor. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. For a full disclaimer, please visit bratbusters.com forward slash disclaimer.