Fresh fruit salad. Fresh fruit salad. Fresh fruit salad. This vision came to me of a fresh fruit salad. Fresh fruit salad. It's the middle of the night. Everyone's asleep. Apart from Douglas, who's on watch. Fresh fruit salad. It was so powerful. I thought, I've got to share this with my dad. I've got to tell him about it. Dad, dad, dad, wake up. Dougal looks up. What's the matter, Douglas? Dad, I've got to tell you about this fresh fruit salad. Now, that normally would be enough to get a clip round the ear, you know what I mean? But Dougal isn't cross. He's relieved it's not an emergency. So he says, go on, tell me. Dougal listened intently. Douglas starts with a mouth-watering melon. Hollowed out with a knob of ice cream. He said, then what? And then you add blackberries and raspberries and sliced peaches. And then on top you put cream. Fresh cream. Dougal's eyes are closed. He breathes out a long sigh. And Dougal says, and then what? Then you eat it, Dad. Dougal's eyes open. And he looked at me through the darkness. And he said, thanks, Douglas. This is Adrift, an Apple original podcast produced by Blanchard House. I'm Becky Milligan. Episode 5 Praying for Rain Day 15 their second day in the doldrums. There's still no rain, and they're down to their last drops of water. And remember, six people are living on this small, leaking life raft. Parents Dougal and Lynn, their 18-year-old son, Douglas, 11-year-old twins, Neil and Sandy, as well as 22-year-old Robin, the only non-family member on board who joined them in Panama. Attached to the life raft, an even smaller three-man fibreglass dinghy. If the life raft fails, they'll have to crowd onto that dinghy. A prospect that doesn't bear thinking about. Waiting was the only option we had left. Waiting to live. Waiting for rescue. Or waiting to die. They can barely move, let alone find the energy to bail And they're sitting in pools of salty seawater Our wrinkled skins were covered with boils And now raw red patches were creeping across our bodies Douglas looked exhausted Our lives were slipping away Time has almost run out and their constant companions circle. I watch the long sleek shapes of the sharks glide slowly by. At night it may be a relief to be out of the glare of the sun but they're still unbearably thirsty. Save for a little sip for the twins, we took no water that evening. Dougal stays awake, keeping a constant vigil. I prayed quietly that Douglas would make it through the night. I prayed that my family and I would make it home. He searches the dark skies for clouds. I prayed that it would rain. We were in God's hands. And then, hope. What is it, Dougal? It's early morning when he wakes Lynn. I pointed to the cloud. Maybe we'll get something to drink out of that. The others wake up and they all look at the cloudy sky. We could see the rain falling out of it. But it's out of reach and there's no wind to push them towards it. The life-saving rain is so tantalisingly close. But we can't get to it. But then... Dark clouds. Oh, dear Lord. The rain's coming. Please bring it to us. Slowly. We watched it. It couldn't miss us. Rain! Rain! Rain! Rain! My prayers were answered. It was raining. In the dorms, it was bloody well raining. That was the plan, wasn't it? It had worked. Beautiful, gorgeous rain poured from the skies by the bucketful, beating down on our heads and splashing against our up-tongued faces. Heavy, fantastic, sweet-tasting rain. We laughed. We shouted. We sang. We filled the containers We filled the tins Wealth beyond measure Wealth beyond measure God gift God gift We had water And with water we had hope But the rain has made the condition of the raft worse. It's disintegrating around them, air leaking out, water coming in. A constant, constant nightmare battle. The raft won't last much longer, and soon they'll have to move to the three-man dinghy. And there's six of them. They're dreading it. Will they all fit in? But they don't brood on it for long. Turtle! Turtle! This turtle bobbed along. Nobody touch it. Nobody touch that turtle till I get to it. Nobody touch it but me. But Robin's the closest, and he reaches for its back flippers. It slithers out of his grasp. Why the hell didn't you do as you're bloody told? Dougal wasn't very happy, understandably. I mean, he was pretty rough at the time. There were some fisticuffs. He had a go at me, let's put it like that. That's a bit of an understatement. He did punch Robin in the face. Dougal picks up a paddle. If you disobey an order again, I'll hit you with this. I just had to take it, but it brought up the anger and the frustration and the having a go at Robin moment. I looked at Robin, opened my mouth, then shut it again. He was completely incompetent, but there was no point trying to change him now. he was 22. I made a mental note that next time he reached for a turtle, I should be ready with a paddle first. It's not the first time Dougal's picked on Robin. After making another mistake... Dougal said, I'll punch you when you get off watch. Like he was going to save that punch up, you were going to get punished for doing something bad. So, he always seemed to be an angry man. he was always mad about something I mean we were in a raft in the Pacific Ocean could be dead in 10 minutes you know, what's the point of arguing? what was the point? we were trying hard to survive and these stupid arguments you never know where they're going to end could you talk to each other and go oh my god, what the hell are the adults doing? no, no, no, we never did that And I wouldn't. I would not talk about anything like that. Because I didn't want to spread the infection, so to speak. My grandma used to say, least said, soon is mended. And I've always remembered that. And I know not to discuss things. Because you might win your point, but you are keeping the disease going. You saw the arguments as a disease? Yeah. They had to be stopped. So I would not discuss it with the twins or Robin. And were they scared, do you think? Probably. Douglas had tried more than once to stop his dad lashing out, even before the lucette went down. After leaving Miami, they were caught in a huge storm in shallow waters in the middle of the night. They could have run aground at any moment. Father and son were arguing. Dougal landed a punch square on the side of Douglas's head. The very next moment... The boom suddenly swung across and Dougal was standing in the way of it and it hit him straight on the head and over he went over the rail. I grabbed his leg as he was going and had hold of him. and Dougal was saying, pull me up, pull me up. And I was looking down at him, holding him. I was shouting at him, Dougal, you never hit me again, ever. My mum could see all this going on and she was absolutely certain I was going to let him go. And she says, Douglas, pull him back on board. Pull him back on board. And I pulled him back on board. It was midday. We were still making our way north. Navigating only by the stars, the sun, the currents and the wind, Dougal reckons they've travelled about 400 miles. But they've still got hundreds more to go. And suddenly I noticed that the dinghy'd gone It's no longer tied to their raft Dad, Dad, the dinghy The dinghy's gone The dinghy, the dinghy, do for the dinghy quick All of a sudden it was panic The dinghy was 60 yards away And taking our lives with it He knew he had to get that dinghy Because all the food was in the dinghy The water cans are in the dinghy. It's had everything in that dinghy. Without that dinghy, everybody's going to die. There's no time to lose. There's no question. It was the dinghy. Or us. Dougal dives headfirst into the sea. Up, dive, swim. Straight out. There was no hesitation. Dougal's body hurtled past me. Douglas shouted, shark! And then Neil was shrieking in despair. Daddy! Daddy! They all watched Dougal from the raft, holding their breath. There were sharks in the water. White tip sharks. Oceanic white tips. Maneaters. They were swimming after him. My belly crawled, thinking of the sharks right behind me. Would they get me before I got to the dinghy? I was so scared. I thought, I'm going to lose my dad. And without their dad they all die Dougal is giving it everything Dad swimming like an Olympic swimmer Front roll. My body felt like a machine as I thrashed my way through the sea. But the dinghy seems to be moving further away from him, carried off by the waves and wind. It was a long way. I didn't know. I didn't know if I could reach the dinghy. Could I swim faster than the dinghy could sail? I was willing him on. At last, Dougal is getting closer. Keep going. Keep going. And he does. He just doesn't give up. I don't know where he found the strength from. He's going to make it. is going to make it. I was there. I was there. Watching Dougal from the life raft, the others are jubilant. Over by the dinghy, Dougal manages to haul himself over the side. The sharks hadn't got him. We were so grateful. Grateful to God, grateful to Dougal. He takes down the dinghy's little sail and then collapses. Back on the life raft, Lin and the others can no longer see Dougal. He's disappeared from view. They still can't see him. Then they see an arm slowly rise up. He's OK. He's OK. I slowly paddled back to the raft. It took nearly an hour before I finally nudged alongside it, whilst the long shapes of two sharks circled curiously. He just flopped into the raft. His face grey with exhaustion. He just lay there. He couldn't move. Absolutely shattered. I thought he'd never recover from it. I sensed they were all looking down at me. I couldn't feel my own body. I became aware that they were holding my hands. smiling. I flitted in and out of consciousness and for a moment I wondered if I'd actually died. I made him drink. Then I put a piece of glucose in his mouth. I cradled him in my arms. She stroked him. We all stroked him. I was stroking his heart. I thought we'd lost him. relief flooded through me she held me in her arms and slowly slowly my strength returned they nearly lost everything my mum was just so overcome with emotion thank you Dougal thank you don't thank me Glenn don't thank me I did it for you I did it for all of you. I did it for my family. Good old dad. We felt that as long as he was OK, we were OK. Dougal and Douglas secure the dinghy, this time with an extra nylon rope. I didn't relish a repeat performance of that swim. Not ever. And then it was back to business. My dad was frightened, of course he was, about the safety of his children. And still he stood up to that. He was like a lion, my dad was. He had the courage of a lion. He was a great man. And I loved him. Are you letting him off the hook a bit? Maybe. Why? He deserves it. He deserves it? He deserves to be let off the hook. He gave us a commitment. But he wouldn't have to have made that oath if he hadn't got you there in the first place. Exactly, that's true. The sea was calm as a mill pond. The next couple of days, they remain in the doldrums. Just looking out the vastness of the ocean, the vastness of the sky. fast and windless. They're making no progress at all. If we only do one thing, Dougal, we must get our boys back to land. Robin is certain they'll make it. Come on, we can do this, we can do this. His belief was unshakable. His faith. Someone was looking after me and somehow this magic curtain, this magic protection we had about us, that kept me going. And Lynne feels the same way. My mother was praying and singing all the bloody time. But Sandy doesn't get it. If God is such a great person, why are we here? And Mum couldn't answer that question. And she said, well, I'm sure he'll help us through this. Each day is pretty much the same as the day before. Keeping the raft inflated, bailing, catching food, looking for rain clouds. It's exhausting, but their heads are elsewhere. While Douglas bails, his mind drifts. He thinks back to their second day on the raft. We decided to write letters and leave them in the life raft in case the life raft was found with nobody in it. If these letters were ever going to be read, it would be because we hadn made it Robin writes to his mum Lynn and Dougal write to Anne She told Anne that mum and dad loved her and we were thinking of her. These messages, they were messages of love. Douglas writes to Albert, the middle-aged nurse he spent so much time with in Miami. But his letter is not a message of love. He's trying to figure out what happened between them. He did try to talk to his dad about it at the time in Miami. But Dougal didn't want to know. I was trying to tell him that I was being abused, you know, but I didn't know how to say it to him. And this was Dougal's response. You're nothing more than a bloody whore, he said to me. In other words, don't tell me. I was only 17 and Albert was quite a lot older than me and knew the way the world worked. At least that's what Douglas thought then. He was very interested in getting me to go out with girls so that he could be a part of it. He found two women, paid them so that he could watch. With you? With me, yeah. Watching, he liked to watch. and then he wanted me to be with him. Douglas didn't understand what he was getting into and anyway, he didn't feel he had a choice. His whole family loved Albert. So Douglas shut up about it. It was all swept under the carpet. It was the 1970s. Grooming, abuse, it just wasn't talked about. All of this is churning around in Douglas' head when he writes to Albert Maybe I wanted to forgive him Maybe I was thinking, well, that's over All of that is over now We played a few games where I spy, but everything began with S Sea, sky, sun, sharks We tried to play quiz games but we couldn't because it takes energy that does There's one subject though that they never tire of Food, food, food, food And we talked about it a lot And they imagine what they'll do if they ever get out of this alive We would open this cafe. And they'll call it Dougal's Kitchen. And we would serve some of this food that we'd been dreaming up. And it was the only food that we liked. Food from Meadows Farm. And on the menu? A cup of coffee. A biscuit. Steak and chips. Steak, egg and chips. shoulder of ham and salads. If it was cold, stew. If it was raining, stew with dumplings. Hamburgers. You think about food all the time and your mind would never let up constantly reminding you of what you were missing out on. You see images of hot dogs with onions. Roast beef. Tomatoes on toast. Cheese on toast. The thought, the thought of eating food again. Hot potatoes. Got to be ice cream. Donuts, definitely. All sorts. All sorts of things. Bread, fruit. Jelly. Cold jelly shimmering on a plate. Milkshakes. Thick ice cream milkshakes. And they got more and more exotic. Crayfish from the Bahamas. That was a favourite, that was. Crab, lobster tails, red pepper soup in Jamaica. Oh, my God. All based around food. That was Dougal's kitchen. That was the only highlight of the day, really. Your brain is so unfair to you. A kind of torture. A fantasy. Or another way to survive. I was thinking about Dougal's kitchen. Suddenly. Dad! Please, no! Hold on, everyone! The bottom just dropped out. It disappeared from under us. The rest was no more. Now they've only got the three-man dinghy. And there are six of them. You've been listening to Adrift, an Apple original podcast produced by Blanchard House and hosted by me, Becky Milligan. Adrift is written and produced by Ben Crichton and me, Becky Milligan. The series is based on the book The Last Voyage of the Lucette by Douglas Robertson. Original score by Daniel Lloyd-Evans, Louis Nankmanel and Toby Matemong. Sound design by Vulcan Kiseltug and Daniel Lloyd-Evans with dialogue editing by Toby Matemong. The lead sound engineer is Volkan Kiseltug The part of Dougal Robertson is played by Mark Bonner and Lynn Robertson is played by Anne-Marie Duff Their words are adapted from Dougal and Lynn's own accounts of their story The young Robertson twins are played by Rocco Hamill and Dexter Hutton Other parts are played by Mark Gillis The managing producer is Amika Shortino-Nolan The creative director of Blanchard House is Rosie Pye The executive producer and head of content at Blanchard House is Lawrence Griselle
