Couldn't Be You - Part 6

A coffee for you, Izzy, and a little bowl of water for the cutest dog in the world, Ms. Patty Smith. Now, what would you like to order for breakfast? Uh, just the usual. Eggs and toast and a slice of salmon for Patty if there are any spare pieces in the back. Girl, you know I love your little Patti Smith more than anything in the world. The salmon is coming right behind me. But also, there he is. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Izzy Temple. Happy birthday to you. A birthday cupcake and a slice of salmon from my favorite customers. How did you even... Girl, I pay attention and I remember things. Happy birthday, Lucky number 32. Thank you. Wait, Lucky? It's one birthday away from your Jesus year. My what? Your Jesus year. A year of spiritual ascendance. Soul transformations. It's important. And this means every day between now and then is taking you closer to the year that brings you into true adulthood. It sounds like you're channeling my mom. Bring her in sometime. We can really get into it. Oh, uh... Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Hey, can I get a coffee? Just a minute. I'm talking to someone here. It's okay. It's been a long time. Actually, as of this year, I'll be longer without her than with her. Sixteen years ago, I've just never been able to let her go. I heard once that grief is just love that doesn't have anywhere else to go. Yeah, I've heard that too. I guess as long as I keep grieving, I feel like she's with me. But, anyway. Ma'am, one coffee. You should go, thank you. You're always so nice. Only to the customers that I like. He can wait. Got any plans for tonight? Yeah, my best friend is coming in from Montreal, as long as the storm doesn't get too bad. And we're going to go out to dinner. Maybe have a few drinks. You're 32, not 82. Maybe go wrangle up a nice hot hurricane day for yourself. You know, candles, the sound of the rain. Romantic. The coffee! Coming soon! Dickhead. Hurricane Lorraine is tracking up the eastern seaboard. It's sped up and now seems to be on a direct hit with Boston. Estimated time around midnight tonight. Hey, Iz. Happy birthday. Iz, are you there? Peter? Yeah. I know it's sort of unorthodox to call out of the blue. We haven't talked since you came over for dinner with Antoine and Lily. Two years ago. I don't think you have ever called me, actually. Oh my god, is Sam okay? Oh yeah, she's great. I just got off the phone with her. But the hurricane coming up the coast is messing with her flight plans. So, she can't make it? She said she'd call you after I called. She's considering driving in. From Montreal? In the storm? Well, you know, Sam. Determined. But, um, I'm in Boston. You are? I just dropped Juniper off with my parents for the weekend. And, um, well, I was on my way to Miami when I got diverted. Sam thought if she couldn't make it, maybe I could drop by and say hi. Ah. I can also not. That's why I'm calling. I didn't know if, uh... Oh. Uh, I know you know about Lily. I am, I guess, um... I know it might seem weird, but I just thought... I'm really sorry for your loss. I hope you got the flowers I sent. I know that doesn't seem like enough. Like, losing a spouse must be... Debilitating. Yeah. You understand, though. Sort of. Right? Yeah. It gets more normal. Over time. Not easy or not really. Just, you learn to live with it, I guess. Yeah, it's been a hard few years. Would you like to meet up? A drink? Before the hurricane comes in. It's a little... I don't know. Do you want to do this, or are you doing this because Sam wants you to do this? I think it would be nice. I'm here. On your birthday. The last one with a letter from your mom. That doesn't seem like the sort of coincidence that we should ignore. I got diverted for a reason. It can't have been for nothing. That doesn't sound like the Peter I remember. Consider me grown. You are really driving in this. Of course I'm driving. It's the last year of your mom's letters, babe. I know that you think that you're fine, but you're not going to be fine. I am going to be fine. I'm, like, almost at the border already. It's like four more hours, even in the storm. I should be there before eight if the lines to cross into America aren't that long. I'm not going to convince you to turn around, am I? No, not unless you remove my access to the States. And even if you become Boston's most popular music commentator, I don't think you have that sort of sway. I do not have that sort of sway. Okay, then I will see you in a little bit. Hey, uh, Peter called. He's going to stop by. Oh, good. I hope that would happen. It's too coincidental not to do it. How is he? What's this going to be like? I mean, he's okay. He took Lily's death pretty hard. The first few months, he was just going through the motions for Juniper. He's been better lately. I mean, he dated someone for a bit. This mom at Juniper's school. I think he's on the apps. You know, he's just feeling it out again. He's always been an optimist. It's been really hard on Juniper, though. I mean, she's old enough to know that it's happened, but not old enough to know what it really means, you know? Yeah. Yeah, but even when you're 16 or 32, you can know that it's happened, but not know what it means. This is going to be okay, babe. Which parts All of it Your birthday talking to Peter I know it I can just sense it Well that makes one of us You'll be fine. But I've got to go. I don't want customs to have a reason to turn me back. When are you going to see Peter? Two hours. You got this. shh shh hush miss patty smith it's a friend hey is he look wow uh your hair um i shaved it in solidarity with lily but then i just sort of liked it it's uh your yeah but um oh you got a dog. Yes, this is Miss Patty Smith. She's friendlier than she seems. What happened to Toby? Antoine took Toby in the breakup, said he needed the emotional support as he navigated the fragile new existence of his life. But enough about me. Would you like to come in? Yeah, of course. I brought champagne. Thank you. I thought it might be, well, maybe we could use a drink. Yeah. Wow, you've done a lot with the house. When I decided to stay here, I decided that it was finally time to make it my own. It's nice. Feels like you. Thanks. It was time to remove the books on the arcane, I guess. Although they're still in the basement, so... How's it going? Which part? Single parenting? Raising a daughter? Navigating the world from the perspective of the opposite gender? Becoming a young widower? Well, if you're offering it up, I guess. All of that. Exhausting. I, um... I've been trying to figure out what life looks like without her, you know? And it's just... You sign up for this one thing, you know, and then you end up with something else that wasn't ever in the cards. I mean... Look, to be honest, it wasn't perfect, but... It was... She was a good mom. For the little bit of time that she got to be one. And I just... Yeah, I... I'm so sorry, Peter. No, I'm sorry. I try not to talk about it that much. People get burnt out on other people's grief. No, no, no, I get it. If that helps. You know, someone once said to me, the dark stuff feels like the real stuff. Oh, quoting me, huh? First time I met you. When I told you about my mom. Yeah. I never really thought I'd shy away from it, but it was complicated. Lily and I were, well, we were working through things when she found out that she had cancer. We loved each other, but, you know, relationships are work. To be honest, I'm not the one to ask. Relationships are not my forte. You had a long run with Antoine. Sort of, but... But? What happened? Sam never said. Uh, it's... he was jealous. Of what? Of what is... Remember that dinner where you and Lily came over? Yeah. Well, he said he'd never seen me look at him the way I looked at you. He wanted to know what had happened between us. That's why we broke up. He said I didn't love him the way I must have loved you. What did you say to him? I told him that even if that had been true, it was too late for that. I told him that I can always regret it. Regret doesn't mean I didn't move on. Sage advice. So do you regret it? I... We both tried. Yeah, maybe, but Lily married you. Antoine left. He thought I needed to find someone who made me feel the way you made me feel. And have you? No, not yet. More champagne? uh well after that dinner lily said something similar to antoine but she wanted a stain she said it was up to us to find a new flavor of love that i could enjoy as much as i had enjoyed loving you she reminded me that it was possible to love chocolate chip cookie dough and butter pecan that's a beautiful idea i like the idea of flavors of love you know and i found something different. Not better, just different. It was beautiful to love a woman who became a mother. It was beautiful to see her watch over Juniper, and then I guess it also became terrible. But I fell even more in love with Lily as she fought cancer. She was so brave. She just got so sick. She tried so hard and she just couldn't. Lily sounds like a woman I wish I had been brave enough to know better. She would have hated that. No, sorry. It's not you. She just asked that we stop seeing you all. she said it was easier to love a new flavor when an old favorite wasn't just sitting there on the shelf. If you can have chocolate chip cookie dough, you might never taste butter pecan. I also respect that. I am sorry though, Peter. I wish you didn't have to go through with that loss. Me too, but you go through what you have to go through. There's really no other choice, is there? Still believing your predictions? Well, so far it hasn't come true. But you believe. Yeah, I think so. But it's a hard day to ask me that. It's my last night of letters from my mom. It's really coming down. I keep trying to get an Uber, but everyone keeps canceling. Sam said it's disastrous out there. She hoping to get here before midnight but she should have been here two hours ago I can believe she made it this far Apparently there downed power lines everywhere Hopefully not on the highway The TV behind you just said that traffic is going at 30 miles per hour all along the turnpike. How far are we from your house? It must be almost letter opening time. Yeah, 15 blocks. Do you want to try to walk? Yes, I can't miss the letter. Izzy Temple, I'm soaking wet Me too, but I like it Something about the hurricane makes me think of my mom She would have loved this Why? I don't know, a storm, so fierce She probably would have danced in the middle of this empty square, her and the wind Would you like to dance with me, Iz? Here? Right now? There's no one here. Because it's a Category 3 storm, Peter. Oh, come on. Let's do it to honor your mom. You know, I can hear her, even over all this wind, telling me, head first, fast, as if your skin is on fire. Just for a minute, because we're alive and she isn't, and we should celebrate being alive. Then, yes, for my mom. And for Lily, a dance in a hurricane. To the ones we've lost. Who have always begged us to keep on living. Thank God for towels. And the dryer. If it isn't my favorite brother! Uh, only brother. And the birthday girl herself! You made it, Tim! Oh, girl, of course I made it. And I made it under the wire, too. And look, I brought... A birthday cake you shouldn't have. Homemade, girly! I'll go get plates and a knife. So, how are things? Things? The letter, you and Peter... Me and Peter? What are you... Nothing, just talking. Uh-huh. And? Wait. Sam, are you trying to set us up? Duh. Yeah, yes. Oh my gosh, don't you think that ship has sailed like a long time ago? What, do you? He's now bald. He has a four-year-old. He's been in love with you forever. You're still in love with him. I can see it for you two. It is the prediction. And I brought you something. A trombone. What is that? You know, sometimes fate just needs a little push. A trombone? Just in case there's any confusion. Oh, my God. No, no. It couldn't be you. After all this time? So, I'm just gonna get out of my driving clothes and take a quick shower. because 10 hours in a car is more than anyone should have to deal with. I'm going. I'm just gonna go to the shower. I'm shutting the door. Boy. Yeah, um, I... It seems like Samantha gives her blessing. If we... Izzy Temple, I think you know exactly how I feel about you. How I've always felt about you. I never believed that... you have to allow yourself to believe is. At least give yourself a chance to imagine the possibility that you're right, and you've always known, and your mom is right, and she's always known. Is this not enough? Look at me. I couldn't be more the prediction if I had tried. Wait, no. Did you put Samantha up to this? No, no, no. I'm not that brave. This is Sam telling us it's okay. Telling us to try. No, no. What if we fail and then... I've been in love with you for 11 years. Peter. 11 years is. It hasn't ever wavered. I knew that night at Sam's wedding. I even knew at my wedding. And look, I love butter pecan, but I've always preferred cookie dough. Always. I just... I don't even know how I became cookie dough. Like, maybe I'm not cookie dough. You just think that I'm cookie dough. I mean, I always thought that I was more of like a mint chocolate chip person or... You can be any flavor you want. You will still be my favorite. Don't you feel it too? Of course. But I'm scared. But couldn't that be the most comforting thing in the world? What if it meant your mom actually saw the future is? What if it meant she's seen every moment of your whole life? She'll be there with you every step. She knew. except now she's gone but you have all of us you have a family now you've had one for a long time we can still live the life they imagined for us the big one the wild one the one filled with the one filled with love oh my god you sound just like her I'm just saying what I believe we can do this How do you know? Can we? If there's a shot in hell, I want to. Come on, let's try this. Let's try making it work and not running away from what's right here. We've both lost too much. Let's open that last letter together. I'll sit with you. I can hold your hand. Okay. It's almost time. Why 10.02 this time? That's the exact moment I was born. My mom always said it was her favorite time of the day, and then the worst part, she died at 10.02, too. Oh, God, it is. It is what it is. I, um, I don't keep the mailbox in the basement anymore. Instead I keep it on the shelf so I can think about her every day I um wrote my final letter to her earlier It right here And this is hers. The last one and the smallest one of all. Why don't you come over to the couch? Give me your hand. Here goes nothing. So is he cute? That's what I want to know. Tell me he's a good kisser. That he makes you laugh. Tell me that he's who you've always wanted and the thing that scares you more than anything is that someday he will leave. Tell me that you love him more than anything in the world. Tell me that you'll fight to make it last. Tell me that this is it. That you would know. Whisper it to me when you're folding the laundry. Tell me about your fights when you're washing the dishes. Gossip about the way his feet smell when you're walking the dog. Just keep talking to me, Flora Moon. I'm just right here, on the other side of the veil. I won't leave you. Because I can't. We are bound together by stardust and DNA and a love so strong that distance and multiple worlds, a whole afterlife, mean nothing. Mommy. That's my last letter. But only because I know this is my last day in my body. But it is not and will never be my last day on Earth. I'm here baby in every song on the radio every wave in the ocean every smile loving you looking out for you I love you Flora Moon I love you until you die and even then I will wait for you to see you again and tell you how proud I am for the way you have lived your life boldly with a big heart wild and alive. Okay? I love you. I love you. I love you too. Are you okay? It's just she's so... my mom. Come here. I'm okay. I'm okay. She's here. She's everywhere and everything. She never left me because she loves me that much. Of course she does. Oh, it's nearly midnight. I haven't stayed up this late in ages. Same. I've become a 9pm in bed, lights off by 9.15 sort of guy. Well, I work on a 6 a.m. morning show. I haven't seen past 10 p.m. in like a year now. Remember the birthday when Izzy turned 21? Oh my god, I do. Remember, that was the time we stayed out until 5 a.m. We saw the sunrise. Uh, almost. I think I left just before it crested the horizon. Iz, Peter and I were talking about something when you went out to walk Patti Smith just now. While I braved the hurricane alone, you mean? I did offer to go, but you don't own an umbrella and you only have one raincoat. Right, but... Okay, so I'd already come up with this idea, but then I told Peter, and of course, like every little brother, he decided that he wanted to do it too. You're not supposed to say that part out loud. I've already done enough here. The trombone, you don't get credit for everything. Fine. What are you two talking about? Iz, we know how much the letters mean to you. How they make your birthday your favorite holiday. So, I wrote a few letters for the next few years. I want you to keep up the tradition. I know that I'm not your mom, but, uh... Sam! It wasn't my idea, but I want to do it too. We wrote them. To give to you. Tonight. I'll work on a better card, but I could only find no card paper in your kitchen. But, mine first. Here you go. Hopefully by now you will have made the right choice. Oh, God, please let it be Peter. Give him a chance. Be part of our family. Even with my crazy parents, even if my mom never says the right thing. Try us. Try being part of us. You deserve him. He doesn't deserve you, but Peter's always gotten more than he deserves. What's new? I will push him to make sure that he is the best partner you could ever want. he can do this. I believe in him. And I believe in you. I love you. Sam, you... This is... I love you, Izzy. And I mean what's in that letter. Okay, we can make this work. Before you both start crying, here's mine, Iz. This might be rushing things, or it might be a decade late. But I believe in this more than anything I've ever said. sometime around this time next year meet me in a record store you'll wear rockabilly shoes we'll find you the reddest roses then sam will shop with you until you have the most perfect white white dress you can choose the music and it can be small you me sam patty smith of course juniper can hold the rings what do you say p.s say yes i say yes of course i Say yes to everything. Yes, yes, of course, yes. I always wished it was you. I knew it would be you. Me too.