Racist B*tch Has $0.02 To Her Name | Financial Audit

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. That doesn't matter. You're not budgeting from that. Your expenditure isn't changing. What is an expenditure? Like how much I spend a month? My f***. You want to get with this guy? Because the day after you left, he brought another girl into your guys' apartment. She was chopped. You know what this Christian white girl who lives in Texas means when she says she's chopped? It means she's black. You immediately went in there and put the girl's toothbrush in the toilet? Okay, so... And then he wrote cheater on the mirror? You are delusional. DollarWise is finally here, sending waves to the personal finance world. This is officially now the best budgeting app on the market. And I'm giving you a special deal to download. Take a free three-day trial to test it out. And then you get the monthly plan at a 33% discount for the first three months or the annual plan at an insane discount. And most people sign up for the annual version because this saves a lot of money and you get my detailed 30-day meal plan signed by me mailed directly to you, plus the digital version of my cookbook for each recipe. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download DollarWise and start your free trial. Go to DollarWise.com or click the link below. Hi, I'm Delilah. I'm 22 years old and I'm from Dallas, Texas, and this is Financial Audit. Thanks for coming down, bubbly personality. I love that. Oh, wow. Yeah, giggles and all. Yeah. Okay, good. Well, I hope there's some intelligence behind those giggles. Let's find out. What do you do in Dallas 22? I'm a dog groomer. I groom dogs. Dog groomer. Okay. I give dog haircuts. Okay. Okay. Very good. Dog groomer. Okay. Cool. What do you make doing that? Well, I make 60% commission and then I make $19 an hour and then I get paid biweekly. Okay. But it's different every week. Sure, but it likely averages out relatively monthly-ish. I don't really think so. I don't think there's a good average because some paychecks are like 19, but then other paychecks are like 12, and then some are 15. 12,000? Like 1,200. But I haven't seen a $2,000 paycheck. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Well, I've seen a couple. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. On the height, what do you see on the high end? Yeah, like 19. I've seen a couple $2,000. 19 on the high end? For right now. Dallas ain't cheap. Yeah, but I'm doing good. It would be well. And 22, I mean, for 22, it might be okay. But listen, if that's on the high end, I'm a little concerned if we're not getting a degree in something, which we might be doing in 22. Oh, no. Okay. No, I'm not doing a degree. But I have a license in animal grooming. I'm a licensed professional pet grumer. So that's where my concern stems from is like for Dallas, I'm making a ton of money and this is kind of like where you're going to be. Forever. Yeah. I love Texas. Yeah. That's not what I meant. I meant income. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is temporary income. Why is this temporary? I had to build my own clientele when it came, like when I got there. So like I started from zero. So my paycheck. You don't get assigned random people? What do you mean? Do you get assigned random people at this groomer? What does that mean? Like people call and book an appointment. I'm like a hairdresser, but for dogs. So they have to specifically pick you. Well, yeah. The people. Well, obviously. If they're like, I don't know who, I just want to groom me, and you don't get like assigned. I'm the only groomer there. Oh. Yeah, I'm the only groomer there. Not enough people have been calling. So right now I'm at like three dogs a day consistently. Then why are you working there? Because it's a really good opportunity for me. Is it? Well, yeah. People aren't calling. No, people are calling. You just said people aren't calling. Well, let me get there. I was going to say it. So when I first started, I was bringing home like $500 a paycheck. Like the paychecks were really low because this place had just opened. They had a really terrible groomer. So they had like not that many grooming clients coming in. So when I came in. So you're turning around the business for $2,000 on the high end? Actually, you haven't hit that too. But it's like a – think of the business part. You're a business runner. I am. Yeah, so like when you first opened a business. You're 22 and not making much and also it's not your business. I know, but it's temporary. Because it's going to get me. What's it going to get you? It's going to, it's just kind of like, you know, holding me over until I'm making more money. So is this plan of making more money what you plan to do to apparently get your ex back? Because that's what I see you're trying to do. Well. Because you're literally just trying to get your shit together to win your ex back. Well. I don't know if literally ever making a two on your paycheck is going to do that. No, I'm telling you, it's getting bigger. The paychecks have, like, some are lower and some are higher. If you can't average it out, you can't tell me it's getting bigger because you can't track a f***ing average. But I can because my first couple— Then tell me what the average is because that's what I asked. I mean, like, 15. Five minutes ago. Like, 1,500. So that's an actual answer. That's what I asked. Well, yeah, but it's— Come on. That's what I asked. What was it? Three, four, five minutes ago? But it's just been changing constantly. So I feel like I can't really give an average. Okay. Right? Or is it not? I mean, well, I don't know. though. Girl, I literally need a real number for me to make the rest of this conversation in the math at the end of it when I make the budget. Okay, so let's go with 15. Let's go with 15 because that's 3,000 a month, right? Yeah. But I think I need more than that for my month. Yeah, probably. I make more than 3,000, obviously. But that's an average. That's why I'm saying we can't really... No, I'm not. It makes sense in my head it makes sense oh it makes sense in your head that's good yeah and the number can you translate what the is in your head to words so i can understand it in my head like let's say if i'm only bringing 1 200 on the first paycheck then i just know that i need to like post a video or something and get more people's call video well yeah because i do social media how many people view these videos like 30 probably so how are they getting more calls when i post them it like I post them obviously public. So people go out and I post them on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. You're not posting them private? That's good. Well, yeah, obviously. But I'll post them and then when I'm posting videos consistently, I get more calls. Because people are like, oh, I saw your cute little video on Instagram. I'm like, can you do that haircut to my dog? And I'm like, absolutely. Come on in. You're not doing that only when you're... Well, no, I am. Instead of only when you're like, oh, I need to make a couple extra dollars. No, no, no, no. I am doing that. You just said if you make a $1,200 check and you're about to miss your... I was just saying that as an example. You're just saying it. Didn't you just tell me the reality instead of just saying? But that is the reality. So the reality is if your paycheck is low, then your paycheck is low because you're not posting enough. So post more. Well, yeah. I mean, I post almost every day. Then that logic doesn't make sense. You said if the paycheck is low, then you end up posting more. Yeah, more. So why not post more at all times so the paycheck is never low? If that is directly correlated, of which I am kind of convinced it is not. Sometimes I get busy. And again, this is supposed to apparently win your ex back? No, no. I was just kind of hoping you would be like, hey, you should totally take her back. She's a great person. My finances really aren't terrible. I think they're not. Girl, you're on financial audit. That's literally impossible. Just a fair warning. That is literally impossible. You do not get to this table of the however many apply a day, way too many. I know. And they called me the day after I applied. I was really shocked about that. I applied for shits and giggles. I really didn't think I was good. And we pick the ones that look like shit. You are that. So, in fact, if you had me call him right now, I would say, one, she's... Two, her finances were bad enough to be on financial audit. Even still, if I'm calling him and being like, oh, her finances are good, take her back. Is that what is going to make him come back? Your finances being good? I don't know. I don't know. I don't really know. What are you trying to do? I'm trying to get him back. How am I helping with this? Look into the camera and be like, take her back. You have given me no reason to do so. I'm like fun, though. What about your finances? They're pretty good. They're all right. Objectively not, lady. But I'm young. I'm young. It doesn't mean they're good all of a sudden. Is it? All the time? I don't have a lot of paperwork. Because you defer the rest of the shit onto documents, onto credit cards, on the bullshit. I only have one. It doesn't matter when it's going up and it's basically maxed out. It literally doesn't matter. At 22, you're just lucky enough to not have accumulated more openings of credit cards because given your behavior and where you're at financially right now, you'd be in double or triple or quadruple the debt you're in. So 22, no, you're not good for your age. People might have at your age or lots of loans, maybe a car loan doesn't mean max out credit card doesn't mean finances around the board and deferring extra things onto credit cards and other loans and other debts for the sake of us being able to pay rent that doesn't mean you're able to pay rent when you brag and say you're able to pay rent you're deferring other shit onto debts you're still not able to afford life when debts are going up because you're deferring shit onto them in order to pay that rent but i am though what do you mean you am though like my bills what do you am though like i have my bills are paid your bills are paid you're putting more in your credit card than you're putting towards it you're this is so stupid you don't know what you're talking about you cannot sit here and actually say that and in no way would i ever advocate for him to get back to you if this is the kind of shit he was dealing with to have left you in the first place no i left him in the first place then why would he not get back with you well he did get back with me and we gave it a try like a couple weeks ago and then a couple weeks ago. They're high schoolers. But then we went no contact again like a week or so ago. Okay, so one week of contact, one week of none. Well, like two weeks of contact and one week of none. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Because you're... Am I delusional? You're not smart. You're not very bright. I'm smart about some things. I don't... I haven't seen that yet. You're bubbly. You're, that's it. You're bubbly, which is fun. Okay. What are we trying to do here? I'll get, I'll, at the end, I'll give him a call and I'll let him know what I think if that's a part. But what are we doing here? I don't care. What are we doing? Um, honestly, I don't know. I wasn't really kind of expecting to do anything about my finances. and well because I'm not really that bad like I was just kind of thinking you're on financial audit you didn't expect to do anything regarding finance no that's not the point oh you what do you want to do financially what do you want things to look like what am I here to work on with you and your finances moron um um I don't know I guess to pay everything off and like make my finances better. I mean, right? Why aren't you doing that yourself in the first place? Well, because like I said, my bills are getting paid and even with all my spending Dude, you're just a repeat copy and paste. Of what? Of myself? Yes! No, I'm not. No, well, because you're not getting it, though, is the thing. The numbers always number, even when I do the budget. The numbers always number? Yeah, because my rent's always paid. I'd love for her to draw this out for me. Yeah. Please. I got this. My rent's always paying. My electric is always paying. Okay, pause. You're going to do it in a drawing, okay? And then I'm like still- Girl, in a drawing, you moron. Oh, my gosh. Okay, okay. What do you want me to draw? What you've been trying to apparently say for the last few minutes. Okay. Help me visualize it. I'm a visual learner. Okay. I don't know how you want me to do this. Oh, my. You were excited about it because I thought you were going to be able to do it because I thought maybe. No, I was not excited about this. What? Did you not see your reaction? Yeah, that was panic. You beast of a woman. I was like, no. Explain to me what the f*** you're saying. Well, I don't. Well, like, okay, so I get money, right? I get a paycheck, right? And then, like. So that's a paycheck. Okay, that's a paycheck, right? Okay, gotcha. And then let's say like I take I will. I don't really know what to say here. I don't know what to do right now. I get a paycheck and then like let's say this is my first paycheck of the month. Right. So I'll take like half of my bills and then until my next paycheck, I'll just kind of. Hey, visualize it, please, because you're literally just saying shit. Let's say half of my bills is like I don't really. Why? I mean, I know what it is, but we're like. Oh, my God. You can't be real. This world. Ladies and gentlemen, these are the people you work with, you live next to, you sit next to on the bus or in class or grew up with. I have a nice car. More debt, I assume. Continue. How would you actually put it on the fucking one? Okay, so I get a paycheck, right? So let's say half of my bills is like $750. Is it? No. Is it? you're then no don't give me an example that's not real don't give me an example that's not real give me the reality you're trying to tell me how this works you said i pay my bills because so i would have to but for my brain like to be able to your brain your brain your brain i'm just telling you to explain literally what happens your brain i don't care about your brain to do that i'm trying to do that but you said let's say the bills i don't I can't tell. Okay, can I pull my notebook out? Because this is where the actual numbers will come in, and I can explain it. Can I do that? No, I want to actually see if you're able to actually speak on this, actually. Let me start over. Okay, so let's say when I talked with Lindsay, I pulled up the example of I had a paycheck. Well, I had a budget that I did for like $2,000. You did a budget? Yeah, in my notebook. For $2,000? And like something, I think it was like $2,040-something. dollars so let's say for the month of the paycheck well the paycheck hit and so that was what was in my savings account you budgeted based on the exact amount that hit not like a oh well because the exact amount that hit is like your budget should be consistent and you might just have extra money or tight money yeah and we decided with that yes then how are you budgeting based on this paycheck because the paycheck is different every time so that's what i just said i just said I just said that. But your budget should be consistent. It is. The numbers are always the same. I pay my... Then why does it matter? Why do you have to budget off of 2040? Because it's a different number that I'm budgeting from every month. Because the number is different every month. Oh, no. But I just said, but your expenditure should be the same. So that does not matter. That doesn't matter. You're not budgeting from that. Your expenditure isn't changing. What is an expenditure? whoa like how much i spend them up oh ladies and gentlemen this is gonna be a difficult one what what is that how much i spend a month what's an expenditure yes out out let's call out yes spending oh let's say that okay yeah yeah yeah yeah oh i'm following okay so yeah that all doesn't change but the number that I have to work with money-wise changes weekly. Okay, continue. Okay, so, for example, I got two... Example. I had $2,040 in my savings account. Right. Savings? Yeah. Well, because my paycheck goes into my savings account, and then when I swipe my debit card, it goes... It overdraft protections from my savings to my check. So, like, technically my... I'm not laughing with you. I'm laughing at you. So, technically, my checking is always at zero. I think it's at zero right now. Well, technically, I guess it's overdrafted all the time. But because of the overdraft protection, it just keeps it at zero. And just pulls the money from my savings. So, my savings is, yeah. Yeah. So, my bills get paid for my savings. I have $500 cash from Christmas that my grandma gave me, and that's like my real savings. So if the bills aren't paid... Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. So if the bills aren't paid, I'll just go put a $100 bill in the bank from my grandma from Christmas, and then my electric is paid. the number is always a number at the end of the month i'm telling you my electric's always big the number is always number yeah i've i've heard that okay so okay two thousand forty dollars is a savings so yes so like maybe my paycheck wasn't two thousand and forty but sorry my feet are over there sorry um so like but if i get like a $1,700 paycheck and then like whatever. Your paycheck was $2,040. Tell me what happened. Oh, sorry. I was just going off their hands. Okay, so now I'll take half of all my bills. What? So like I pay. Half of all your bills? Well, yeah, because I get two paychecks a month. So, well, depending on the due date of the bills because some bills are going to be due before my next paycheck. So I have to put the whole number there. So, okay, let me just keep going. So I take, I do $50, a week for groceries so i'll take a hundred dollars out for groceries food then i do about 75 in gas every two weeks so i'll take that and then i tithe 10 of my paycheck so i'll tithe 204 you're tithing 10 yes and that's a non-negotiable i'm not changing that ever and i even tithed like i got a return from my car when i crashed my car and i tithe 10 on that huh yeah you what Wait, what? I crashed my car in November. So when I got the insurance check for it, I ended up getting a check for like $5,000 or $6,000. And I tithed 10% on it because I was really praying that I would only get enough money to pay my car off. And then I ended up getting like $5,000 or $6,000. I'm not saying you can't. I'm not saying you can't. It's like, yeah, fine. Whatever your religious belief is. I know. Stop for a second. You've been controlling the airflow of this conversation. Listen for a moment. But stop writing because I don't know what that is. You just, okay, that's the timing. But the mathematical reality when it comes to giving any charity or to any religious organization, if you actually get this taken care of and get yourself on a better financial footing, you will be able to give a larger number over the course of your life than if you're giving just a little bit right now. That is a reality. That happens every time for any charitable donations, for any income situation. So yes, I would pause that now, temporarily, and give more. Recoup later. Give what you lost later. Well, no, I'm not. See, I'm not doing that. Because here's the thing. Okay, are you here for listening? Well, I mean, I'll listen, but that one I won't listen about. But you can still give the same amount in the end, and actually even more. I mean, yeah, correct. So it would work out. It would be fine. Yeah, but God wants us to make sacrifices, so this is a sacrifice. So what you're doing is making a sacrifice now in your life so that you can give more to the church later. No. But you'll be giving more, so isn't that better? Well, yeah, but I just don't see it that way. Well, because I see it as like, okay, so when I moved, so I moved to Texas, right? And then I moved while I was in Texas in September. Okay, that's crazy. Well, so here's the thing. It's like a God thing. So when I moved, I... What is a God thing? Just listen. So when I moved in September, my parents came down, and for like a week, we were looking for apartments, right? We couldn't find any apartments in my budget, because I was still making not as much money as I'm making right now. So I was making even less. In Dallas, that's scary. So anyways, then I prayed really hard, and I was like, God, you didn't bring me to Texas all the way to send me home. like I've, I found a church that I really love. Like I'm not going home. I love it here. You brought me here for a reason. And so like I fought with him and I prayed really hard. And then the next day we accidentally found the apartment that I'm in right now. And like, I raised my budget a little bit and I ended up getting the first two months free. And like, I lost a ton of money. So my dad had helped me pay like the deposit, but that was it. And then like the lady, the manager sat with us and we were like, hey, but we need keys tomorrow morning. We can't do the week application and everything. So, like, she sat with us and we got my apartment that day and everything. And so, now I consider that in all of Texas, the rental market is quite weak and there are a lot of vacancies and they will do anything to fill them currently. Drowning in student loans with massive interest rates? I see it on the show all the time. 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That legitimately matters. And here's the thing, if I needed help paying off debt, this is exactly where I'd go for help. You're just 30 seconds away from being debt free with PDS debt. Get your free assessment and find the best option for you right now at pdsdebt.com slash hammer. That is pdsdebt.com slash hammer. pdsdebt.com slash hammer. Have you ever considered that as a possibility? Yeah, correct. And all of those apartments the week ahead of this one were trying to do that. And I lost a lot of money. I lost a lot of money. That sounds like you were a moron. Yeah, I was. Well, because I was in panic mode because I just had left my boyfriend and I didn't have somewhere to live. and I don't know anyone here and I don't so yeah I was stupid about it I yeah that's you being a moron that's not you praying though that's you being a moron correct about me not like about me losing money that was me being a moron it really does it makes people feel good and it helped me out he found me an apartment you were a moron all of this was the actions of your choices so now the action of the tithing is my thank you for letting me stay So you chose to leave your boyfriend enough. Yes, you can think of it throughout the rest of your life. I love that. I love that. That's great. Do it. I do not care. Period. I'm not doing that. But right now, fix your shit and then give more and just make up what you didn't. Well, I can fix my stuff with other things. I have a sponsor kid. I mean, that kind of breaks my heart, though. I can't get rid of him. His name's Joshua. He's in like, I don't know where. But I pay like 40 bucks a month so he can eat. And are we sure this is actually going to Joshua? I gave him like a traditional African name. So what's the baby's name? OJ. Yeah, it's through World Vision. Oh, it's just like a big sponsor kid Christian thing. I hope it's legit. Look, Joshua gets to eat and that's all that matters. I hope Joshua's real. I think he is. I have a picture of him on my phone. He's really cute. Yeah, that's very difficult. He wrote me a letter. That's also very difficult to do. I think it's a legit company. They're like very well known. It's a company? Well, it's like, I guess it's an organization. Google it. I'll come right up. It is a legitimate international charity, but it's frequently. Oh, shoot. It's frequently what? It is frequently impersonated by scammers using fake loan foundation schemes. Oh, no. Job offers in phishing websites to steal money and personal information of which, if anyone I have ever met would fall for. Okay. Okay, so 10% goes to tithing. Sounds like we're not going to get anywhere there, so continue. Yeah, that's a non. Okay, so then tithing always comes out first. Let's still give the money back. I'm not against tithing. I am against you being stupid. Continue. Okay, so then I pay my dad some bills. So I pay him on the first of the month. Pay your dad some bills? Yeah, I pay my dad car insurance and for my phone bill. So I pay him $2.25 a month. I've MMO him. So half of that's $113. Why aren't you getting those on your own at that price? Well, okay, because... The helium at $15 a month. You're in Texas. Helium's good. I'm only paying him $25 a month for my phone, and it's for the actual phone. It's not for the plan also. You financed the phone. Continue. I did. So I pay him, and oh, and my car insurance story is that... What? You said $113? No, you told me $213. You wrote down $113. I said $113, and then I said I pay him total $225 a month. Continue. So the $200 car insurance is because I tried to get car insurance on my own, and they were trying to charge me like $800 a month. Continue. Okay. So then I have my student loan. Half of one is $50, and then another half of the other one is $23, and then I have half of my— Pay them individual? Okay. Well, I have two different ones. Different accounts or different loans that are the same account? Completely different loans. But one of the loans, the Mohela loan, is two loans into one. So I have three loans, technically. And then I pay like $150-ish for electric. So is that $75 half electric? From your savings, yep. Continue. Well, from the paycheck, technically. And then I pay $50 for internet. Okay, now I'm confused. So you're living on your own now, and you spent a lot of money to make that because you just chose to leave. You guys moved to Texas together, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah. So you guys moved to Texas, and you immediately were just like, nope, actually, I don't like you. No, no, no, no, no. Let me go live on my own and blow a lot of money. No, we were having issues communicating and agreeing on things. Well, that's good. I would move across the country for someone that I'm doing that with. No, it wasn't like that until we moved. Things just got more difficult when we moved. Why did it get worse? Well, because when, so when we had moved in, it was, it was my ex's first time ever leaving his home, like, with his parents. He never even, like, went to college. And you're going to move across the country with that? Well, I was going to marry that. I still want to one day. Oh, okay. Bro, you guys just cut it like a week ago. So here's the thing. No, we're just trying to do it right so we don't actually fail this time. Is that the guy you showed me? No. So you have eyes for two men? No. That's very Christian of you. No, I was... No, she was showing me pictures of a very handsome cowboy. Oh, yes, and he was very handsome, but I... That she wants to... Oh, my gosh. No. No, I wanted... So I introduced myself to him a while back. Come on, Christian girls are the craziest. Well, I used to be, but not anymore. Always happens. It's my purity ring. Ugh. Did you just... Ugh? Yeah. No, it's cute. girl just have fun okay i had a lot of fun so i'm okay uh-huh okay oh oh oh so the ex so yes you broke off with him so well so here's the thing is when i had moved out we were having issues communicating and i thought it like i moved out still wanting to marry him and it was like right before we were supposed to get engaged so here's the thing is he had never lived anywhere besides his parents and you were about to get engaged to this man yeah how long are you guys together Like a year. We were going to get engaged. When were you getting railed endlessly then? What? When were you getting railed endlessly then? Because you just said you had a hoe phase. Like, how is that even possible? If you were with him since 20, when were you just, what was your hoe phase? Like two months? I never said it was a hoe phase. I just said I had fun. Like, I was a party girl in college. I partied a lot. I drank a lot. You got with him at like 20. Well, I got. When were you having fun? 18 to 20? Yeah. That was fun? Two years of your life? Okay. Yeah. I went to Chicago a lot. I did a lot of clubbing, but it was like a lot. So it was like Thursday through Sunday. You want to get with this guy because the day after you left, he brought another girl into your guys's apartment. At the end of the day, I moved out because I wanted to marry him still. And I thought the space was going to be good for us to be able to grow as human beings and like him to mature a little bit. And like, yeah, he brought some titties back. Yeah, I know. I mean, they at least they weren't cute ones. Maybe. I don't know. You're saying that. No, she was chopped. Jealous X. I'm not jealous. It's a fact. it's a fact show me a picture i'm blocked but we can find her he had her block you know her name yes of course i know her name jealous ex i was jealous obviously because there's thing i left wanting to marry him and then he brought in titties before my shit was even out of the apartment yes did they bang yeah obviously they bang you you are and you want to get back with this yes because here's the thing all the reasons why i left him were everything that he got from her basically he got his own like shit hand back to him the new girl works for twin peaks are they together now no they're broken up now uh except you guys just broke up again a week ago so maybe she's back in the picture don't say that well i mean let's just be real i know how men work yeah but i don't want to think about that i know how they work too i mean he brought a new in before my clothes were out of the closet she had a toothbrush on our account i know i'm sorry i'm trying to watch my mouth but she had a toothbrush in our apartment before my stuff was even out exactly so when i got there and i moved all my stuff the day after she moved out there's a toothbrush there no you bring a toothbrush for fun wait what what i don't i know wait are you trying to say that she was there first before i left what are you trying to say Bringing a toothbrush over for an evening of fun? No, that's the point. It wasn't just an evening of fun. They were in a relationship. What, the day after you moved out? Yes. Hold on. I moved my stuff out of the apartment. Wait a minute. I was standing in my new apartment. Is that not the biggest red flag you've ever heard in your life, and you want to get back with a guy that was likely cheating on you? Oh, I can't find her now. Oh, come on. No, I'm serious. A girl who works at Twin Peaks. Yeah, well, I know how to spell her name and everything. A girl who works at Twin Peaks had already moved in the day after you moved out. Yeah, and do you want to know the crazy part, too? That is the crazy part, but sure. Well, so, like, him and I, like, we got into some disagreements about the way that I used to dress. Because I used to dress a lot more provocatively before God. So? Oh, my God. Okay. Girl. That's his page. Who cares how you dress? Should I try and find her? yes i thought that's what you were doing well i meant like still i can't find her so what was the crazy part yes this is dressing well the crazy part was that like i mean i want you to dress even more like handmaid's tail so we can cover that arm hair oh my god i cannot believe you just said that i'm puerto rican we're hairy and my dad's like greek and german and so i'm just Carrie. Uh-huh. You don't have to judge me. So anyway, I can't find her. Oh, that's not fun. You immediately went in there and put the girl's toothbrush in the toilet? Okay. And then you wrote cheater on the mirror? Yeah. Yeah, and I took everything. Can't find her? No, I can't. Show me him, this guy you want to get back with. I tried to. Well, I know, but I want to see her. I want to see her. You don't know her name? I know her name. I'm typing in her name. Okay, okay, okay. Pull him up. Pull him up. Pull him up. Pull him up. Okay, that's him. I have a really cute picture of him and I together, too. We look cute together. Bro, are you f***ing kidding me? Okay, see, but no, no, no, no. Can I show him? Can I show a picture? I have a better one. I know. Those are not cute. You know men can't post pictures on Instagram. So if they're, like, kind of cute on Instagram, then you know that they're a little bit cuter in real life. Okay, look for her. I've, oh, wait. I've never tried Facebook. Uh-huh. Maybe I'm just crying at home. Crazy jealous ex that writes cheating around the mirror. And he is a cheater. Why do you want to get back together with a cheater? We're going to call this guy. Because I told you. I was like, remember, like, so I was telling him, like, I need you to help me with the laundry. I need you to help me with the dishes. I need you to help me pay the bills. So when I left, those were mainly the reasons. Like, we just weren't agreeing on, like, being adults, basically. And so when I left, I thought it would give him a chance. When you two met, he already had a girlfriend. You want to go down this road again? You're trying to be all religious girl and whatnot. You're trying to go down the world with a guy that cheated on someone to be with you who cheated on you to be with someone else. And you want to marry this man? Yeah. Oh, my God. I found her. You are delusional. I told you she's chopped. Show me. I told you she's chopped. Her mom posted that, I think. You know what she means? She was a mooch. You know what this Christian Texan means? I'm not a Texan. Yes, you are. I'm a Jersey girl. You know what this Christian white girl who lives in Texas means when she says she's chopped? It means she's black. No, that's wrong. I knew you were going to say that. I'm not. No, I'm not like that. I've chatted with a lot of dark colored men. This is actually my first white man. This was my first one. This is her? No, that's the mom. She's got the ex-girlfriend now. She's got messed up teeth. yeah so basically she was a mooch and she found my ex with a good job you're calling the black woman a mooch she was a mooch she went in with a job that she barely ever like went to she would sleep all day wake up and put makeup on and then get dropped off at work she had no car no driver's license she had a shitty job like she just was a mooch she could have been white she could have been brown she could have been yellow i think the guy just wants a little seasoning a little bit of flavor. Well, then why is he coming crawling back? Is he? Well, he was a couple weeks ago. Because he wanted to f*** you guys two weeks ago. No. No? No. You promised me. Yeah. You swear to the big up there. Ah. Yeah. You do? You swear? Well, no. I don't swear. Well, I just don't swear on the big guy in general. Well, if it was true. Yeah. You guys didn't know Glucky Glucky No touchy-touchy? I mean, a little bit. Okay. No cookie-clucky. That's what he wanted. That's what he came back for. And then he left a week later, right? Well, no. Well, yeah, but no. What? But, I mean, so the thing is, when he was like, I think we should go no contact, it was because we were starting to see the same patterns in our communication happening again. In two weeks? The pattern in that communication is he wanted to go f*** another woman. For six months? They were together for like six months. That's a lot for him. Yeah, I know. He starts cheating. He's just here. You want to get back with this new shit? The guy you showed me before is so much more handsome. Yeah, but. The guy you showed me before we started filming. But he wasn't interested in me at all. Well, no. A guy doesn't like you? I don't give a fuck. That's not a traditional crying thing on this show. Fuck you. Fuck you. Oh, shut up. Oh, okay. A guy you have a crush on in church doesn't like you? That's not what I'm crying about. I'm crying about my ex. Your ex that cheated on you who cheated on with another girl to be with you. I know, but I think it needed to happen. Oh, girl, you are broken. No, I'm not. I may be a little bit delusional, but I think. A little bit? Show me a picture of the new guy. I don't have a new guy. You just showed me. No. The guy you're into. The one from church? Yes. No, I've given up on that a while ago. I literally put myself out there. What do you mean? How did you put yourself out there? Okay. so we had met like once or twice and so i had followed him on instagram and he was private with like 200 and something thousand followers he never accepted me so i removed it then my friend like a couple weeks later because we were still like seeing each other at church my friend at church was like i'm friends with him let's go introduce you um he's single whatever so they went and introduced me and then like a little while after that i was just going to kind of play it by ear and like not be too pushy about it. Do you have his phone number? No. And you're not in his Instagram? No, because he. You have no point of contact. No. I mean, I could DM him on TikTok, I think, because he's not private on TikTok. He will not see that. Yeah, well, exactly. So I can't even like slide into his DMs. And like this was a while ago and I tried to introduce myself and then we tested it out. What about Brandon? He's looking for a nice Christian girl. Yeah, she is. It's because you guys are the most like, and you're good looking. And his home is Dallas. Really? Ish. Oh, but how does he work here then? Well, no, his home. Oh, here. This is me and my ex together. We're cute together. Sure, whatever. Go look up the new guy. I don't care. Um, so this new guy. So anyway, so then we tested it out to see if like maybe he just like wasn't seeing it. That's his page. and then so i was in jersey and my family friend she said he had 250 000 followers does he not have 200 and something thousand he has 10 000 followers oh on tiktok he has 200 and something thousand oh oh sorry so the thing with that is that i tested it out with my friend back home oh sorry bleep that um but brandon said he's down and that you're kind of it seems like you'd be fun at a six flags date oh i love i love roller coasters this is great okay listen okay so wait let me finish really quick the story about him so we tested it out so this is how i know he really is not into me at all my friend who is married with kids but she's a beautiful like bombshell blonde with fake boobs and fake lips and everything no she's i mean she rocks it she's gorgeous no i mean i don't prefer it for myself either but still anyway so she followed him on requested to follow him. He immediately accepted it and then followed her back and then was viewing her story. So then I followed him immediately after. Again, 24 hours went by and I wasn't accepted. Oh my gosh, it's women games. Okay. Sorry, dude, you don't like it. He ain't sticking it in and giving you babies. Keep going back to the cheater. You think that's the only alternative? Shut the f*** up. So this makes no sense. I don't understand. You abandoning which fairly because you left the relationship and you didn't know he was cheating until you left. Yeah, because my friend upstairs. He is cheating. But technically, no. Jesus. No. Patricia in the other room. Oh, okay. Yeah. She's upstairs? Did I say upstairs? I meant just over there. You said upstairs. Oh, well, oh, oh, this is why I said upstairs. She lives right on top of my ex. So we're talking about the big G. Well, no. He's upstairs. Well, yeah, he is upstairs. But she's literally upstairs. So the apartment that my ex and I moved into, he's still there. I know her from her moving in with her ex a couple weeks after him and I moved in. So we were upstairs, downstairs neighbors. Because she's the one that told me he was cheating. And she's the one that called me and was like, the day that I got the keys to my new apartment, she called me and was like, oh, hey, I just want to let you know that he just brought a new girl home. How you budget makes no sense to me. I need to get back to that. Okay, so. Oh, there's more? No, well, I have more bills, obviously. Okay, you have more bills, but this doesn't understand. This number shouldn't matter. Why? It's how much money I have to spend. Because your bills stay the same. That's already a bad way to look at it. Your bills do not change. Your bills in 50, 30, 20, or whatever it is you're doing at the time should only be based off of your lowest check relatively but here tell me not even your check monthly by the way not even paycheck paycheck to paycheck but um okay either way since you do this you should be able to tell me how much you spent last month tell me what your outflow was next last month i have no idea but you write it down and you like have for 30 white boys in your kitchen I heard of writing down your bills and stuff. So tell me, what did you spend? I'm going to say probably like, like if I, I really have no idea. Okay, let's say. You really have no idea. Yeah, let's say like $4,000. Okay, $5,149 when payroll was $3,197. I pay my bills, my bills are paid. But that's the thing. The number, numbers in the end, it didn't. $2,000 come from. Debt. Debt. Debt. Debt. But I don't have... It doesn't matter if you don't have much. If it still goes on there, it goes on there. You dumb tit. The balance went up on the credit card. You dumb tit. Okay? You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one, YNAB. But everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to EveryDollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rocket Money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end? Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like DollarWise. built by these people just like you for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now, start the free trial, dollarwise.com, link in the description below. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money, we like free money. You can get up to $200 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for time. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. Deal with this. Figure out your shit. I'm not saying you can't tie it. I get it. I'm not going to tell people to not do what their religion and what they need to do in their religion. I am not against that. Do it. Pause. Recoup it later Fix your shit so you not endlessly going into debt If you were asking the big dog if you went and asked the pastor and like I going into debt because I can afford this 10 right now what do you advise I think they would say, figure out your debt situation, make it up later! Yeah, I think you're right! You fucking dumbass! Oh, I hate that word. You don't like the word? Oh my god, now it makes my skin crawl. I don't give a f- Call your ex. Okay, well, so he works at... So he works at... Can you bleep this? He works at... So can I just text him and be like, can you call us when you get a chance? Oh, shit. Really? FaceTime or... No, I was lying. Yes, call him. Okay, he might not answer. Just call him! Okay, okay, okay. Huh. One. Hello. Oh, Caleb. Hello. here's the thing oh boy why did you cheat on my cheat on my precious Delilah over here I didn't cheat on her bullshit if the day she moved out there was a toothbrush and another woman living there no way you were not in active communication that is impossible no no she wasn't living there until like a month but they were already but you were already before her clothes were out oh my god I told them we weren't together I'm trying to stand up for you but it's Caleb why is this even being spoken about because pause she wants to get with you and I'm like why the f*** is she trying to get with someone who cheated on someone to be with her I didn't cheat on her that's what you're not understanding it's a very complex situation I understand input okay well make the complex situation less complex that's that's not something i'm gonna put on the internet oh great what a defense you also cheated on the girl previous of her to be with her oh my lord he's never gonna tell me so where where's this conversation going she wants to get back with you i'm asking why the she even wants that in the first place but here's the thing if you guys were together a couple weeks ago we'll bleep your name, by the way. If you guys were together a couple weeks ago, and then you stopped being together, why the fuck are we playing this game? We were just taking some space to try and get ourselves on track. You were together for two weeks for a second, and then you broke up immediately. I got a second job. I'm just trying to focus on myself. We were getting into arguments. It was a distraction, honestly. What are the arguments about? Kind of accountability and I don't know. Just boundaries that were set and spoken about that aren't respected and I don't know when things are brought up it's not always it's not always handled the best and I take accountability on raising my voice and what not but if you're a partner you should at least be able to speak honestly that's how I think and what is this thing with trying to make her wear more clothes oh my gosh no we just we debated about like corsets and something sorry I told them about your shut the fuck up alright so I'm sure you have your own stance on morality and clothing and women's clothing in today's day and age so I'm sure I don't really need to go into too much detail how much does she have to wear to be with you I don't know, something her grandmother and mother wouldn't frown down upon. Do they? What's she saying now? There's some outfits that my mom and dad think are really cute that he had a problem with. What about at the beach? What do you allow at the beach? I don't give a damn about the beach. That's a different story. He does, though. In college, I used to wear thong bikinis. Now I wear a bikini that has shorts. Oh, so you make her wear the shorts at the beach? Well, he didn't necessarily make me. That's the thing. Yeah, like we just fought about it, but at the end of the day, I just learned that change. Do you think you're going to get back together with her? What kind of question is that? Do you want to get back together with her? Of course I do. Listen, you guys have some big disagreements. Like, worldview, like she doesn't hate gay people and you hate gay people. I wouldn't say I hate gay people I hate when it's pushed towards me this is crazy I'm being outed as a homophobe and a quote unquote cheater but the girl you didn't cheat on her with was bi yeah what does that have to do with that I just told you I don't hate gay people well she said that you don't really like gay people so i mean like i just said they're getting towards me it's a little uncomfortable and i try to make it clear that i'm not and oftentimes it's still pushed on me like i got a dm the other day some guy was like hey you like what would you do with the guy i'm like nothing bro like i'm not i'm not really into that like yeah you are you're just confused so it's like yeah that type of shit I don't enjoy it. It makes me uncomfortable. Sounds like a closet bottom to me. Okay, so you haven't decided whether or not you want to get back with her? What? You haven't decided whether or not you'd want to get back with her? It's an ever-evolving thing. It's not that simple. Well, because we have to, like me... I'm asking him. I'm sorry. At some point, we lived together and we took steps away from that. So obviously, it's just going to take time. We came from a totally different state together. Yeah, but you guys literally were supposed to get engaged two days before we broke up. So, like, we were almost there. Oh, I'm well aware. Okay. That's a reason it didn't happen, right? I do have a bad news if you guys ever do get back together. I didn't hear you. I do have some bad news if you ever consider getting back together. That is what? She's pretty much the most person I've ever talked to. I'm so mean. But he likes me because I'm... Did you say, Mom, you didn't even say bye? I just wanted to leave him with that. What do you think? Am I stupid? Yes. He's a cheater. But technically we weren't together. He was the moment you moved out. What the fuck are you talking about? What do you think your financial score is 0 to 10, 0 being the absolute worst, 10 being the absolute best? I think I'm like a 4 or a 5. You are so f***ing. You just heard how much money I told you you spent. Yeah, but I only have run credit card. you make no sense man you make no sense it could also be overdrafts it could also be extra stuff oh it makes sense to you that's good that's wonderful Miss Laney's bullshit alone was $1,175 or $1,157 Miss Laney's bullshit in a month bullshit going out there it was like $400 unknown shopping $600 other large purchases $842 you're spending so much money you're spending so much money that you don't have what's your rent $1,350 50 it's like half your income on a normal month it's a really cute place broken huh it's a really cute apartment this literally no one brought up that argument i don't give up i don't give up no one gives a but it is half your income when your income is and you can't manage your but it's going maybe you can't track it you can't tell me the average i'm gonna be rich you're gonna be rich ah rich dog groomer we've all heard of them yeah it's called opening a business Oh, you're going to open a business? You're going to open a business? Been there, done that. Been there, done that? How'd that go? How'd that go, successful business lady? Successful. I was on track in two years to make $100,000 a year. Where are you today? I don't give a... I was on track, never got there. But guys, at least I was on track. But I'm looking back to that because the... Opened that business in 2026. Tell me about that business then. It's a mobile dog grooming business. And how'd that go that you were on track? It went great. I opened it in 2023. Which is why you were only ever on track and never got there. I shut it... Okay. I was making $80,000 a year. I was on track to make more than that when I shut it down in 2025. Why? I shut it down to move here. What? Because I was going to have no source of income at the beginning if I reopen the business. Move where? To Texas. From Jersey? Yeah. Why'd you move? Because I hate New Jersey. Why? Because it's just gross there. But you were making money. I don't care. I didn't want to build my future there. I didn't want to build my life there. And the business was getting. Then why do you need to do this bullshit job where you make no money instead of replicating the success you had. Because to reopen my business, to be able to do that, I need to take out an $80,000 small business loan. To be able to pay for the $80,000 small business loan, I have to be making an extra... You already had the shit. Take it down here. Because I couldn't. Why? I had a trailer. My dad drove the trailer for me. Get a second trailer. What? It was like a $20,000 trailer. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. If you were making $80,000 a year, I think you could handle the investment of hiring someone to drive it down here. Well, yeah, but not while I'm... I wouldn't have been able to afford the driver while I'm working here. Once I got here... If you were making $80,000 up there, how could you not afford it? That doesn't make sense. Because the income was going to stop when I moved. No, it doesn't make sense. You were already making $80,000. You had to have had some money unless you were blowing it all together. I have money saved, but that's at the down payment. That's for the down payment of restarting my business. But you wouldn't need to borrow if you brought it all down. Because I couldn't, though, It makes sense. You're just yelling. No, it doesn't. It doesn't make sense. It does make it make sense. OK, so I had this business, right? It was a trailer. My dad was driving it. I couldn't drive the trailer. So to move down here, I had to sell the trailer to like, you know, obviously, because I couldn't take it with me. See, the part that immediately doesn't make sense with theirs, you were making $80,000. So how did you not have enough money to move down here? No, I did. I had enough money to move. Why did you have to sell the trailer? Because I couldn't take it down here. so there was no point in me having it. Hire someone to do it. Yeah, but even once I got it here, it would never leave the driveway because I can't drive it. Good. Temporarily. Wrong. What? I'm not doing that. No. Huh? It was better for me to get a temporary job that I can get the income to be able to make... Girl, what are you going to do with the $80,000 loan? I'm going to buy a van. I'm going to buy a grooming van. Convert it to the van. Move all the equipment into a van. It takes $80,000 to move it into a van. All that equipment? So you already have the equipment. They need to buy the van. I don't have any equipment. I have my tools. I have my tools. Listen, listen, I have to buy the van. It's a Ram Sprinter Sprinter van, whatever. Right. They go for like twenty thousand one, like a cheap crummy one. Right. So I'm going to get the van. Then I'm going to send it to a company in New Jersey and they're going to convert it. But they have to put a battery system in the back. Yeah, because I found a family company that's giving me a really good deal and they do beautiful conversions. None of them are in Texas. There's grooming vans everywhere, girl. In Texas, but like they're giving me a good price and I'm working on a budget. You have a van across the country. It's like $2,000. No, I'm going to drive it. Oh, I don't trust you. I drove from here to Texas. Yeah, you're lucky you made it. I mean, from Jersey to Texas. I don't trust you. Well, I mean, that's you. You're not going to be in the van. You driving long distance? I drove all the way to Austin, too. And you beat the odds. I'm a good driver. Just because I don't have a car that drives itself doesn't mean I'm not a good driver. That has nothing to do with it. I'm not I'm not I'm not See how excited you got about Six Flags? Yeah, because I haven't Six Flags! Take me on Six Flags! Oh my god Cancel me for that bitch So embarrassed Brandon, I'll let you do anything to me if you take me on the roller coaster Not anything Says every Christian girl Who then takes it up the literal ass That evening Do you know this song, Jesus Loves Anal? No. It's like, it goes like, I don't even know how it goes real, but it's like, me in the ass because I love Jesus. That's so terrible. You've never heard that? Yeah, keep tithing. That'll save you. I'm working on it. God doesn't want you to clean yourself up before you get to him. He helps you clean yourself up. So I'm working on things. That's a cope. Listen, if you want your Hammer Financial Score, get it for free. Calebhammer.com. Take the test. Just takes a few minutes. See where you stand in the world of money, where you're doing great, where you're doing poorly, what you need to do to improve. If you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, so you're not doing this, because this is a disaster. But it works. Make sure you, no, it literally doesn't. You spent way more than you made. Download the DollarWise Budgeting app. It'll automate everything for you, give you incredible insights into what exactly is going on and what you need to fix. It is awesome. Take the free trial, dollarwise.com, or just in the app store of your choice. Check out the free trial. Most people take the annual version because it saves almost 50%. And when you do the annual version, just like I signed this one, you will get my 30-day budget meal plan. It is an absolutely extensive, detailed meal plan for every single day with drinks and snacks, desserts, everything included. It is awesome. This is yours to take home. You have no excuses to not meal plan, meal prep, on a budget. this is it no excuses and you can use H-E-B for it which is what we basically I've never been there before you are what oh do you want that I don't think I'm that stupid you're how you just I don't hang on that stuff like if you just sound like that so I sound stupid oh yes yes yes you do in fact I would say I would suggest yes maybe that's just your opinion that's cool and I stand on it. Quicksilver. Yeah. My only credit card. See, just even how you said yeah. You are... And I love you for it. I don't hate you for what it's worth. Sometimes I hate people on the show. I don't hate you at all. You make me giggle. It feels like... No, I'm just laughing at you. I kind of laugh at myself sometimes too. Does the other part of yourself know you are? No, I'm what? Laughing at myself? Okay, $2,097.31, which has gone up. Oh, yeah, it's way above that. It's above that? No, I meant it was up from the previous. Oh, oh, no. The limit's higher than what you have on that piece. Because that's what it says it's at, right? That number at the bottom? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's way higher than that. It's way higher than that. Open up on your phone, please. Text me dead emojis. Dead face. That means you're dead to him. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. We bring truth to relationship, Christian. That feels judgmental. Okay, there you go. Being truthful? You should be. This is the credit card, but my car loan is underneath it. It is! And I just... Shut up! shut up stop let me look can i just look yeah before you talk good death this must feel this must be what it feels like to be on the other side of the table for me it's horrible am i being that bad yes shut up $2,664.94. What's Blink? My cameras. So I have to pay $10.99 a month for the membership. Well, $78. For your videos save where? On the Blink app. What? For what camera? For Blink cameras, I have a front door camera, and I have a camera in my living room. Oh, this is a security system? Yeah. I've not heard of this brand. Yeah, it's like a Nest. Oh, no, Nest is temperature. It's like a ring camera, but blink. I think it's just like a ripple. Probably. Okay, that's okay. You are. Yeah. That's not a bad thing. No, but yeah. Oh, girl, you're not even on auto pay. No, no, but not really any reason why. I just don't, I don't know. I just didn't do it. But I go in and I pay the minimum every month. What is the minimum? I paid $100 a couple days ago. The minimum right now is probably like $87 or something like that. I'll do 87. I don't know why the fuck I'm trusting you for anything. Well, you can check. Shut up. Plus Peacock TV. Yeah, that's the only streaming service. Well, in Amazon Prime. That's the streaming service you chose out of all of them? Yeah, and I knew you were going to hate on it, but it's good. They have really good shows on it. What, VeggieTales? No, like The Burbs. That was a really good short series. And New Girl and The Office and Parks and Recreation. Those are all my comfort shows. I turn them on when I go to sleep at night. Apple subscription. DoorDash. Yeah. Creature. IHOP! Oh yeah, we went after church. Who? My friend from college, she came into town. Okay, okay. Good. You keep... Oh shit, but then you door dashed immediately after. IHOP. Oh yeah, I got Panera that night. Twilight spelled very weird lounge. Very expensive, 60 bucks. We sat for a couple drinks. Jack in the box. is that for a couple drinks christian well i didn't get drunk drinking is still against the rules i mean it depends on depends on how much you want to cope no well i guess i guess yeah it depends on your interpretation exactly and everyone has a convenient one same with the muslim couple i had on the show trust me yeah that was insane yeah you're that same version on the other side. Oh. Well, okay, I'm just going to say. Cowboys Red River. I guess you didn't find one to bounce on that night. Oh, my God. I've never left there with a man. Never. I would suggest you should. Why? Stop going back to the cheater. Find yourself a nice guy. I tried that. I tried the crotch boy. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Lindsay says you go crazy for Jesus merch. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like my church, if they have a set, I told her this the other day, I don't care what's in my bank account. If the bills don't get paid, I'm taking it home. And they're expensive. Can we get Tyler in here, please? Almost $200. Your favorite streamer every day on Twitch at 7 p.m. Central, Tyler. I just need you to say it for me. Say what? Oh, okay, what's up? My personal favorite song, you like the anal song. I like the, my favorite song is the one that's, Jesus Christ is my nigga. That one. You know that song? I have heard that song, yeah. That one's great. That's a great song. Okay, thank you, Tyler. I got you. I got you. Live on Twitch every day, 7 p.m. What is it, Real Lindo? I Am Lindo every day, 7 p.m. Central Time. You'll love them. That's great. Let's make sure to put his Twitch in the description for this episode. Okay. Yes, I like that one. So, yeah, you spend an insane amount of money on here. This is going to take now like 18 years to pay off minimum payments only without doing any purchases. 18? Yes, usually when people like you get pregnant and marry a military guy and then get divorced immediately. I'm not marrying a military guy. Yeah, but that's what people like you do. But you didn't, so. And I'm not a baby mama. Well, I mean, well, I have not had a baby myself. I have. Abortion? Starbucks is bullsh** and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at Gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. whoa no no no no i did not do that no i did not i've never done that before i don't plan on that i just like you're just giving very weird signals right now oh well because i don't have like a human kid but the baby that i met in the green room yeah i mean i have her oh where is he where is he is she she is very cute here audience i met her yeah she's very cute we do have a child in the studio today. And she's a beautiful girl. Baby mama. And this honestly makes sense because most people that I know that are just like only reptile owners are the most people. Like they're actually, they got like brain mush. They're like, look at my reptile. I never actually thought I would be a reptile owner. And then they accidentally kill it by like smashing it or something. Oh my God, I would never do that. I know my friend. My girl. My sweet princess. her name is Santana hello Santana my sweet girl okay you can hang out so this will take 18 years to pay off and that's if you only do minimum monthly payments only without any purchases of what you are incapable of because you are going out to eat at least every other day at minimum every other day at minimum sorry for yelling princess I'm loud a lot so she's good you can yell as much as you want yeah but she at least knows it's coming from like noises when you yell oh i don't yell like that yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh she just uh she starting to shed yeah her tail Let be good They so good My kids will meet her They live for like 20 years She's like three or four right now, yeah. And who are you having kids with? Hopefully somebody. Hopefully a man. Can it... I won't. Hopefully, who's my husband? I highly doubt you accept women. Oh, no. Oh, sorry. I love women. I think they're beautiful. I don't swing that way. so I think that you are going to pathetically go back to the cheater unfortunately who is a fan of the show allegedly he put me on to it you don't seem to be the best at relationships and staying loyal to a woman but again that is 18 years if you do not purchase and you are incapable of not purchasing so this will be longer than 18 years but here's the thing is I'm hoping, not hoping, I'm working on making my income go up. Oh, shut the f*** up. This isn't an income issue. Yeah, it is. No, no, no, no, no. Girl, you just spent literally hundreds of dollars going out to each. Yeah, but when I was making $10,000 a month, I was able to pay my credit card off monthly. You can leave her. She probably won't move now. No, I'm getting her off the paper. Oh, sorry. Sorry. It's more DoorDash from a different month than CVS and Amazon. Pull up your Amazon. Interest accruing. Surprisingly no late payments on there see i'm good at it i because i check right not so much anymore as they get older they become more herbivore when they're really she's just eating plants oh not only but mainly yeah what does she eat well so sometimes i have like a freeze-dried thing and i'll give her it's freeze-dried mealworms crickets and grasshoppers are you sure she actually likes this how would we know um her so when she's just like not happy she like is usually attempting to run away but then also like this part of her but also belly gets black i feel like there's in between happy and not happy well how do we know she actively enjoys it because i want to i want to pet her if she likes it i know and she does like it so this is what i'm trying to tell you so this part of her chin right here like she's showing you positioning that this part would turn black if she starts to get agitated well it is right there well no but that's why i'm saying the whole bottom of her chin would turn this color black if she was agitated. And it's different levels of it. So when she's like... So what, she eats crickets and plants now? Yeah, mainly plants. She loves zucchini. She loves carrots. Show me the Amazon. Yeah, that's why I couldn't have these kind of creatures. I love them, but I just don't need to hold cage maintenance. Last three months? Yeah, last three months? Yes, just give me your Amazon. Sorry. You scared her. Well, that's her problem for being an animal on this show. I know, honey. I love her, but I do got shit to do. Tanning cream. Yeah, I see it. Okay. You have a bunny cage? No, that was my face wash. You have a... It's a skincare line. You have a bunny cage? No, I bought it for her. Just licked you. Yeah, that's how she explores. Okay. So that little cage thing... Brandon will let you explore him like that later. um so um i bought that little thing for her so when i take her out on my patio i don't care i don't have to worry about her you gotta put a big box of for writing snacks that was dylan there's so much present i bought him who my ex i sent him for sake what you don't have money uh dishwasher safe chopsticks you just don't need chopsticks though this is the thing you don't need that to survive. Soothing cream? That's skincare still. Stop. I don't care. Shape shelves? You don't need it. Clothes that I guarantee you don't need because you probably already have shit. Yoga mats, multiple. Well, one's a towel. A ball pillow. You don't need a ball pillow. I treated myself. The outfit of a dominatrix whore. Oh my gosh, it's getting returned. You decided not to be a dominatrix whore any longer? No, the shorts were too big. It was like a western thing, not a dominatrix thing. Whore. well, at least it's getting returned. Yeah, you could use a little bit of whoring in your life because you're about to go back to a cheater, which is insane. Which is, like, why the f*** is that acceptable? That owed the parents $35,000! For f***ing what? That is insane. That is disgusting. That is unacceptable. Why? At 22, what the f*** is wrong with you? They helped me open my business and pay for school. They laid out the money. If you were making $80,000 a year, you animal, why was this not paid off? You selfish beast. Yeah. Well, yeah. What a response. I was paying like $500 a month when I was working. Remember when you said he runs away if he's not happy? He's trying to run away. Well, he's probably trying to explore the table because he was... So what is it? Run away or explore? Well, when she's got her tongue out, it's exploring. But if she's black and... She licked me, remember? Yeah, like five minutes... But, well, she did it again after you said that. Why'd you not pay them back? You pathetic creature. I've made payments on it, and I paid them $5,000 out of the number that I got from selling the business. $500? $5,000. Did I say $500? You sold the business? Yes, I sold the trailer. The business itself, like the clientele, didn't get sold. Why? Because I wasn't able to take it. In my logical mind, I couldn't take the trailer. You do not have a logical mind. She's more intelligent than you. How much did you sell the trailer for? That would cost $80,000 to build out, allegedly. I don't really remember. Girl, this was a couple years ago. Shut the fuck up. Tell me how much you sold it for. Well, I think it was like $20,000, but I'm not really sure. $20,000? Yeah, but it might. And you gave your parents $5,000? Well, so I think it was less than $20,000 because I don't think we made our money fully bad. Oh, you're disgusting. So I thought I had paid some debt offer. I'm calling your dad in the post show. Oh. I'm calling your dad in the post show. I'm going to tell him what you're spending is like today and how your finances today. instead of paying them back because it is disgusting and selfish. Well, I know. You haven't made a payment to them since you moved to Texas. When did you move to Texas? Last June. And why'd you pick Dallas? Well, because I just, I don't know. I've never been to Texas before I moved. But why'd you pick Dallas? There's a lot of black people there. You hate them. I don't hate black people. You say they're chopped. She's chopped. Again, she could have been white. She could have been anything. She was still chopped. Her skin color doesn't matter. There are very beautiful African-American women in the world. she was not one of them I mean again she could have been white she could have been anything so you're not on a minimum monthly payment to your parents not anymore no because you moved here and decided you wanted to have fun again yes that's what you do that's where all your money goes I felt like my quality of life should be better see no she won't bite you so this is what she does when she wants to like explore but if she was running away distressed not liking the exploration her her whole belly like her whole underneath would be black does that make sense yes i'm not like you well you're never responding but i'm listening sometimes it's okay to just listen but then how do you know if someone heard you okay there's something in here there was a car loan I saw. Yeah, that's connected. Where is that? It's connected to Capital One but it's probably... I don't see it. Well, oh, you don't have it. Oh, I guess it came after... I mean, we can look at your check-in account first. Okay, what do I see here? $0. Right. The exact same amount of money that went in went out because you just transferred. Oh, are you f***ing kidding me? So all that money we saw spending on the credit card, when I said she eats out every other day, that's not true. She then eats out the same amount in here. Cowboys Red River Escapade Escapade Uber Trip Cow Town Coliseum Cow Town Coliseum We went to the rodeo We shut the fuck up I don't give a shit Stop shut the fuck up Uber Trip Walmart Is selling out money Cash app Sending out Who are you sending cash app money to? Who are you sending cash app money to? I got scammed through Bitcoin And you don't think you're getting scammed with the African child? No. No, no, no. It's a very reliable website. Why for an ice house? I think I almost went there, but I didn't. I deleted it. Okay. Walmart. Walmart. Go inside getting some bullshit. Do I take a screenshot? Crumble. TJ Maxx. Go inside. What are you going inside the gas station getting $4.32? Probably a snack. What do you get? Like a Twix bar or something. Because I don't do energy drinks. That's okay. That's fine. Or coffee. Well, you don't need to do energy drinks. I know I tried the Gamer Subs. It's amazing. But this is an energy drink. This is the hydration version. So this is electrolytes. Oh. No energy. This is caffeine-free. So here you go. Because there are caffeine-free versions for the electrolyte versions of the drinks. Get your free samples to figure out what flavor you like. Type in and go to Caleb at GamerSubs.gg. Link in the description below. Not a scam. And then figure out what flavor you like, and it's 40 cents a serving. are the cans the same prices are they still serving no but if you get them like that where you make it yourself that's where it's cheaper tg max getting some bullshit sheen that's doing a lot of heavy lifting amazon bullshit bullshit amazon prime then moving out money benihana in and out fashion nova apple cash rock em selling out money chipotle bullshit reservoir bullshit. Sam is for his cash app again. Texas nail bar. Not worth it. Auto statement. Okay, what's your car? About 300. It's like 289. What is your car? You moron. What kind of car do you have? It's a 2018 Audi A4. What are you doing with that? driving it. Isn't that a nice car? Yeah, it is. It's worth $9,500. You owe $13,831.45. I knew I was underwater, yeah. Minimum monthly payment $295.72. It's because it has really high mileage. What's the interest rate? Nine point something. Oh, that's not good. What's the mileage? Over 100,000 miles. Oh! Why'd you buy this? After you totaled that last car. It was the cheapest car on the lot that I could find. What? Go to a different lot, you dumb. weren't you in dallas yeah well so you know what what places have a lot of lots texas cities there are car dealerships every five minutes i know so here's the thing though i ended up getting a really good deal on this no it's at a nine nine percent interest rate of death water but you are underwater you did not get a good deal it's at a hundred thousand miles i know but they cut like a couple thousand off of their price not the real price you they gave it to me for what they owned the car for my friend works there oh my god she helped me get the deal i can't i can't break through i can't break through there's no breaking through girl you're lost good luck in the rest of life i'm gonna go get back no you're not yeah wait yeah get back with the cheater yeah get back he's gonna knock you up he's gonna knock you up he's not he's not how do you know because You want birth control? No. And I probably never will be. There's other forms of birth control. What? Abstinence. Oh, f***. Oh, they're f***. Oh, they're so f***. She's going to come back with 10 children. Oh, no. But hopefully a wedding ring if I come back with 10. Yeah, with a cheater. Pathetic. Okay, 4.5% interest rate for some loan that is $12,206.09. That's school. College. I went to Iowa State for like two years. Of course you did, okay. I wanted to be a veterinarian. You belong in the corn, and I'm glad you're not, because I want my animals to stay alive when there's issues happening. I'm good with animals. You're good at being nice to them. That's really all you have to do to them. What's darker, his scales or her arm hair? Oh my gosh, I should have worn long sleeves. Holy shit. You have arm hair too, all right? Yes, I do. A man, that's weird. Well. Well, but whatever. Usually trad wives just don't have arm hair, and I know you want to be a trad wife. Do you want me to start shaving my arms and make it worse? You're not going to be my trad wife. No, later hair removal, right? Sounds like you don't want a trad wife. Yeah, do you know how expensive that is? Yeah, you better go get a man that doesn't cheat on you. That makes good money. I'm going to reopen my business and just make it. Yeah, if you borrow $80,000, remember this, that's how this story ends. I have to. She borrows $80,000. Those vans are worth $150,000. She's going to quadruple her debt. I have to quadruple my debt. Minimum monthly payment, $91.55. Okay, here's the mojila. Yeah. Okay. Them together is $4,430.07. Minimum monthly payment, $54.68. Okay, that's not horrendous. I'm sure it's low rates. Yeah, well, I don't know the rates, but I know the payment isn't that bad. Absinence only? Well, no. I mean, obviously, there's, like, more if you're going to. What? Well, condoms. Okay. Did you guys always wear condoms? No, not when we were active. Yes, you are going to get pregnant. She likes you, I think. It's because I'm making lots of noises, huh? You want to lick me? Yes, you do. Hello. Do I taste good? I'm sorry, your mother is. Okay. Oh, or she might shit. Okay, put her away then. Yeah? Okay. Sometimes she gets really active when she has to poop because she doesn't want to poop where she hangs out. $2,099 in this account down from $2,300. Daniel's sharpening? Yeah, because I need to get my scissors sharpened for work and my blades and stuff. Okay. But that came out of my business account. Oh, good. She has a business account. well yeah i have a robin hood six thousand dollars i don't know in what i don't know pull up your robin hood it almost got scanned poor trad guy that ends up with the actually no i'm great i'm a good cook like i clean you want to be actual super trad yeah you just want to cook and clean and like and pop out babies yeah yeah and like i want to have my business up and running so it's self-sufficient so that's what you want, Brandon? So when I like, when I go, when I do get pregnant, my business is fully self-sufficient and I just bring in income. Yeah. You're ruining it with your business thing. I'm just delaying it. Okay. She just has it all in JP Morgan stock. Oh yeah. Cause I didn't know what else to put it in. And I felt like I used chase as a bank. So JP Morgan and Chase Fink, right? Oh, me. Is that wrong? What do you think I should do with it? And here's the CD of $10,000. That's also just stupid. I don't really see the point. That's all my small business startup. So that's that total like $18,000. Give it to your parents then. You owe them. No, because then I wouldn't be able to open my business again. And I want to do that in the year, in this year, in 2026. Then borrow $80,000? I can't borrow $80,000 without some sort of down payment. Chat, we are so f***ing cooked. This account down from $1,000 to $75,000. No, you're not. That's your transfers. You'll see. I'm going to prove it to you. Okay, please do. But usually in order to do that, it means you have to do the bad thing in order to do it. What bad thing? Borrow the money. Well, yeah. This time not from someone as forgiving as your parents. Well, yeah, I'm going to borrow it from a real bank. Yeah, that's bad. Oh, well. Because your parents are letting you not pay the minimum right now because they're flexible. Yeah. Because life happened. Yeah, because I'm not making enough money yet. $3,000. It's an income issue. Shut the f*** up. Oh yeah, she's got to poop. Let her drop those dumps then. I have no problem with it. Okay, minimum fee debt payments. $528.95. What is your rent? $13.50. And all utilities combined plus internet? Um... $200. Okay. Because I pay $50, between $40 and $50 for utilities through the apartment complex, and then I pay about $52 for internet, and then I pay between $120 to $160 for electric. But I think I'm getting screwed over by my electric company. You're probably regardless. $220. Okay, phone bill and car insurance combined you give to your dad. How much is that again? $225. Okay, gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive. How much? um 75 every two weeks so is that 150 a month how much about 75 a month every two weeks so like okay so let's say like no no no you're 60 a month yeah yeah yeah sorry okay necessary food 300 hours use the meal plan make sure you get it by signing up for the annual version of dollar wise yes i actually spend $50 a week on groceries. Okay, $300. You go out to eat every day. That's how the math works. $100 for everything else you need, including your morning-after pills that are definitely going to be needed. Medical health care, how much on a copay basis? Why not? I think my copay is only $15, but I'm on my parents' health insurance and everything. I'm on my parents' health insurance. About $50 a month? $15 for a copay. Like if I go to the doctor, they'll, how often do you go? What about medications and shit? I pay 20 bucks every three months for medications. Okay. I'll just, uh, you just put it in then. I'm just going to put five bucks. Is there a gym? Yes. How much? Uh, like 30 bucks. Good. How much for pet food, pet care, all that stuff for him? Uh, super. Oh, shah, she's just how much. Um, I don't really spend a lot, probably 20 bucks a month. Is it stinky? Well, no, but I just sit down and she's shit. Well, I might be for her. Proud of her. Anything else that needs to be in the budget? Well, not necessity, I don't think. Is that freaking out about the animal? Oh, subscriptions I'll put 40. Why? She pooped. Isn't that what the cage is for? Well, yeah, but it's her travel cage, so I don't want her to sit in it. You didn't think she was going to poop in your three-hour drive down, three-hour drive up, and three hours here? She didn't shit on her 24-hour drive from Jersey to Texas. Oh, and you've been feeding her. well you're basically break even listen it's 2,918 dollars and 95 cents and i'm sure we're missing some shit and you make 3,000 hours a month so here's the reality you are not going to be able to pay off your debt especially with your mindset you're going to go into more debt in order to open this business and good luck on all that shit but you're not going to pay you're not going to pay in a different place with the generosity and flexibility of your parents now you're going to have a minimum payment of this loan that is going to be tied to something most likely, good luck. But either way, it doesn't matter. Here's the reality. Go make an extra $1,000 a month by working another job or by working more hours there, getting more clients, posting social media more, if that's what you need to do. And when you do that, you will be able to pay off your bad debt in less, well, actually, okay. You'll be able to pay off your Quicksilver card in a couple months, and then honestly, just use the, it used to be called the Fizz card, now it is the mine card. Use that, debit card that builds credit, only allows you to spend once in your checking account. Stop using the Quicksilver. I'll get you an accounting certification from Course Careers that'll help you run your business. And I want you to see if you can start small instead of borrowing so much. Get rid of debt before you go into this thing because you're just going to accumulate so much risk and it makes no sense. Can I ask you a question about that though? Yes. So I know you're not in support of this small business loan, but so to get the small business loan, I need to have a certain number of lines of credit open. So I was under the impression... I'm not saying close any. Well, but if I pay it off... It's a line of credit still. Even if it's a zero? Just put your gas on it, dude. You'll be fine. But that's only one line of credit is the credit card. Aren't the car loans and those... I don't think you're going to pay for car loans before you even touch it. But even still, it doesn't matter. She was getting close to her foot. Sorry. Oh, she's out and about... I didn't know that. I almost crushed her. Listen, I don't know. I honestly don't believe anything good is going to happen here. So whatever. But listen, you just have to go make more money and then you can pay off debt. I was just small, large, so I was paid off. Minimum payments and student loans until it's done. Same with the parents. And you just got to treat them with respect before you get more debt. And I think this business thing is stupid, but whatever. Guys, I'm going to do the hammer financial score. But first, make sure you join us for the post show. It's going to be good. I'm going to call her dad and confront her. Also, Delilah went to jail. what the we will learn about that what the okay what the okay spending money in a budget overspent zero out of ten debt no collections your parent that's not great it's gonna be a two out of ten emergency fund nothing really a cd and it kind of works i'll give you a five out of ten there retirement at 22 you're not expected to have too much at this point i don't have anything shut the up and the chase thing is a decent start i'll give you two out of ten i'll just being generous real estate zero out of ten you need to learn to shut the up like a good trad wife yes sir you don't have to call me sir i'm not looking for trad i don't give a fuck about that shit that's not me brandon would like it i like a woman who can speak out gives me an excuse to hit her that's a two out of ten did i not just speak out i feel like i'm hittable like by the way that i was making a joke oh guys we have a lot to talk about in this post so make sure you join Hammerly. It's incredible. Best membership on YouTube and premium shows every single day. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. See you there. Call your dad. Right now? Right now. Hey, I want to talk to you about this debt that your daughter owes you of $35,000. Yeah, yeah. When can I get paid? That feels like a betrayal to me, honestly. How do I go about getting my money back? Because that's my retirement. Zelle, Venmo, Cash. Talk about being taken advantage of, right? Hammerly is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise.