Backstreet Boy, Real Recovery

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human. Oh, it's bad. What? What do people do it? Mate. Thought you'd be into it, Sam. What, me? No, that's deeply offensive. Harry, you're wearing socks and sandals. In public. Come on. I travel in style. You don't. It's a new low. They're the mullet of footwear. And? What's wrong with mullets? Ha ha ha! Sharing moments you'll never live down. On The Train, you can. Bask in the calm and charm of Bista Village. Join us for the summer event and refresh your wardrobe with an extra 30% off the village price. From the 22nd to the 31st of May, select lines and brands, T's and C's, apply, see BistaVillage.com. Bista Village, the thrill of discovery. Hi Amber. Hi Ella. Welcome to an unlikely affair. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of An Unlikely Affair. I'm here with my sister wife. That's like your permanent name, Lola Kent. I love it. Hello everybody. I'm hyped on the day. I'm Ella hyped on the day. I mean, thank God. Okay, I'm super, super excited about this episode. I have like a really cool story, but I will share this in just a second. Introduce AJ Alexander. I like Alexander McQueen. Thank you. Aka Backstreet Boys, baby. My favorite of the Backstreet Boys. Even as a young and I like the bad boy. Oh, the best. And I'm so not that. That's what's great. But that's the best thing. Yeah, like I'm the biggest push over teddy bear anyone's ever met. But I just got pigeonholed because I dyed my hair and I got tattoos and piercings and blah, blah, blah. So somehow they had to find, because that was the formula, right? The boy bands. Well, first of all, we never even heard that phrase until we went to Europe. And that was what they called groups of five grid looking guys that sang and dance. They called them boy bands. So we never, we were a vocal harmony group. That's what we called ourselves like boys to men, shy, jodicy, the temptations. That's what we grew up in the States hearing. So in a boy band, you had the young cute one. You had the old one. You had the clown. You had the kind of mediator like the middle guy. And then you had the bad boy. And there you are. And there it is. I'm like, okay. Crown me bad boy. Okay. So when I was eight, nine years old, I'm 37, born in 88. I'll never forget going to Target. Getting your Barbie and no fucking joke. I still have the Barbie version of you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have this. Thank you. I'm like, oh my God, this is so, it's like full circle of my life that I'm sitting, sitting here with you because I was like, I listen. I grew up Mormon. I always love a good fucking bad boy. Amen. Even if you were just pigeonholed into that. Even if you're just playing a part. And I got to say, I love my Mormons. Growing up in Kissimmee, Florida, when I was in like middle school, high school, we had right down the street from where I lived was, at that point was one of the biggest Mormon temples in Florida. And every day, like clockwork at my apartment building, the young boys and their white shirts and black ties would always roll up. And I became friends with some of them. Like they were just the nicest guys. They would take a break. We played basketball. And, and yeah. And then of course, once, once Trey and Matt did their amazing Broadway play that kind of reinvigorated my love for. Oh, it's the best. Oh my God. Have you seen it? Oh, have you ever seen it? Like three times. Okay. Yeah. Because you know what's so great is because I, because I grew up and I know all the little funny jokes. Right. And then I, I fell out of the church when I moved to New York City. It makes it that much better. I mean, the, the, I mean, I still play it for like in my car when I'm driving. I'll play the book Mormon. Have you seen it? Oh my gosh. Book Mormon is one of the greatest fucking hysterical. What I love is when you go see it, the five times I've seen it, I'll go outside, have a cigarette during intermission and like average 10 to 15 people are walking out going, what is this? Why am I here? This is disgusting. It's like, how do you not know coming into this? Who wrote this show? Right. If you don't watch South Park, you're never going to love this because like it's, it's comedy. It's comedy, but it, it, they go there. Comedy. And that, it, by the way, the fact that it's stayed on Broadway this long, it just shows you like it's not, you can't be on Broadway for this long. If you have a bad show where people are walking out. Listen, it's not for everybody. I think I remember taking my mom who is not a part of the Mormon church anymore, but at first she was like, I'm a little offended. I'm like, dude, come on, lighten up. It's fucking hysterical. Yeah. Like hysterical. All that I want to do is go to Orlando on his mission. Like, and the whole. What for Disney world purposes? I don't actually don't know. I know. It's just like, you know, he's Hasadika Ibuwa. Oh my God. He's, he's just going on a mission and trying to spread the word and he ends up going to Africa and like, it's just, it's. He's awesome. Love. Yeah. Does he like come from masturbate and come for the first time? Oh, I think. Also a lot of it stemmed from orgasmo, which was one of the first movies that Trey and Matt did before they did basketball. I'm a big South Park nerd and I just love all a family guy. Any of that stuff. Oh, family guys. That's adult animation, like paradise, PD, like any of those shows. I mean, growing up, it was always the Simpsons, but I stopped watching the Simpsons as I got older and then once family guy and South Park happened, it was over. Like I, because they, they found the, they found the magic loophole, which is let's make fun of everyone. Exactly. Then nobody can come at you and be like, oh, oh, wait, no, it's like, no, we're going to make fun of you. They did an episode on South Park about boy bands. This was years ago and you could, and Cartman wanted to be the bad boy. And there was definitely elements of, I think myself, a little bit of Donnie Wahlberg, a little bit of, there was elements like you could blatantly say, okay, that's me. That's so and so like you just knew. Right. It wasn't like on the nose, but yeah, I mean, it was pretty, it was pretty obvious if you, if you follow boy bands, like you just knew, you know, like, okay. So you are coming out, you have a solo album that is titled Alexander James. So the album came out in January, winter birthday. January 9th. What sign is that? Capricorn. Capricorn. Yep. I don't know much about it. Big old hard. I guess he's a bad boy. Well, you know, we, we have a really big heart where people pleasers, we get walked all over constantly, but we, and we keep coming back for more, whatever reason, I don't know why we do, but it's like, yeah, come on, you know, but I, I've now, oh yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm, I fall right in that class, but I recently, over the last few years have done a lot of soul searching and a lot of self healing and finally applied boundaries in my life, which I never had. I didn't even really, I knew the word, but I didn't know like exactly how to apply it to my life because I just let everybody in and just didn't care and trusted everybody. And this is like personally, like everything, everything. Now it's like boundaries are set. I learned no as a complete sentence because I just said yes to everyone and everything. You know, somebody joked once before and it, it kind of run me the wrong way, but at the same time I was like, you know what? It's, it's, it was meant, I think with kindness, but sarcasm, somebody said once that I would go to the opening of an envelope and I was like, Jesus, like that's, that's harsh. But I've, then I kind of took a moment to reflect and go, shit, I do do a lot of things that are necessary and some is just like, I just want to go. Like I just want to be around people or I want to go to this event or that event. But I've dialed that way back now. I'm way more picky and choosy now at like, it's just, okay, enough's enough. Like you don't need to go to everything and be everywhere because it is exhausting. I mean, it really, Yeah. And I'm sure you've attributed that to your sobriety, being able to like really check in with yourself and go in deep. Oh yeah. Yeah. I wake up in the morning, meditate, say my prayers, daily affirmations when I first get up, what am I grateful for today? You know, and then just kind of start, start my day. And if there's any moment during the day that's a little sticky, I just either I call my best friend or I talk to my sponsor who is my best friend. And you know, we just kind of, I mean, nine times out of 10, when I'm with him, somehow some way sobriety comes up. It just relates to everything in our daily life, no matter what. So if anything's bothering me, instead of me harboring it or blowing it off, it's like, let's just get it, let's just address it immediately, nip it in the bud and then move on. Some things are easier to move on from than others, but you know, I mean, I never did any step work when I got sober the first time in 2001. So I just white knuckled it for seven years and I was destined to relapse and I was a chronic relapser. Like I, for like the last 20 plus years, it was in out, in out until this last time. And I just, you know, it was finally the right time. My youngest daughter is a big part of why I finally nipped it in the bud. And she's old enough now to kind of understand like how much she really did play a part in it. But I kind of remind her every year, you know, I just say thank you. And she's nine, but she's like 35. So she's very smart, freakishly smart. And it's kind of annoying because I was, you know, I'm more of a street smart guy, you know, as opposed to book smart. I don't, I need to read more that I don't. I'm more of an audio person. I guess that's the musician in me. So if I have a chance to read this book or do an audio version, I'm going to do the audio version. It just, you know what I like to do? Retains better. I like to do audible and follow along. Oh, I like that. I haven't tried that yet. If it's a self help book, like the let them one that I've read lately, sometimes I like to highlight. Like I learned because I've been reading the big book all over again in AA. I, my sponsor wants me to go and highlight what I'm raising with you. Yeah. Kind of like just transition that into just reading books outside of. Yeah. Someday I'm going to read the big book from cover to cover. I've read what my sponsor has kind of focused on and we have a men's group every Thursday and we started every time with pages 86, 87, 88 upon awakening. And like that's, I literally read those pages every morning. Like that is just, that is just the only way to start my day. Cause it always applies to the day. It doesn't matter where I am. You know, if I forget my little mini big book with me when I travel, hello, just pull it up online and just, you know, finally I screenshot it all the pages. So I don't have to search for it anymore or if I have a bad service, you know, or if I just wake up and I'm just in a pissy mood and I forget to do it, which happens. Yep. Then I'm like, wait, it's something is wrong. Something is missing. Oh, hold on. And I'll pull off the side of the road and I'll read it. And then I'll. I always read like the promises when I'm in like self pity or I'm like, I'm, I have almost two years sober and I'm like, how come this hasn't happened? How come I haven't found my person or this is wrong? And I'm like, no, read the fucking promises. And it says sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, they will materialize. I literally said this to myself this morning, if you work for them. Yeah. Like that's action. So stop your complaining, get out of your like head and. Yeah. So that works as dead. Yeah. It doesn't do anything if you don't do the work. You should read, like find someone that you could read the book, big book with once a week for like 15 minutes. It's really changed everything for me. My, my sponsors like. I don't disagree. Yeah. I fucking read it. It's definitely on my to-do list. And it has been for years, but now that I'm finally doing the steps, like I never, like, like I said earlier, I white knuckled it. I didn't do the steps and I figured, okay, you know, I, I go to meetings. I'm, I'm good. Like we all think newly sober and literally, you know, the first couple of times that I try doing the steps, I relapsed on the four step, which everybody does generally. If you. That's the worst one. This time I was like, no, I'm going to, I'm going to do it. And honestly, my sponsor, he took me, he was taking me to the airport and he, he basically put the fear of God in me. And he was like, look dude.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 He's like, I feel like I should call, you know, Rochelle and be like, I'm sorry, I tried, but I can't, I just can't do anymore. And that scared the shit out of me. I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you have to be my sponsor. Like I can't, so I got on that flight and I was just like, my brain was going 1,000 miles a minute. And I'm like, okay, dude, the minute you get home, you gotta do your four step, you gotta do it. And literally I was gone for two days. The day I got home, called him, said, come to the house and we just did it. And surprisingly, cause he knows everything, we talk about everything. He learned some shit and I was shocked. And that's how I knew I did a proper thorough four step because there was a lot of things that I didn't share. Yeah, well, just for everybody that's listening that doesn't know about Alcoholics Anonymous, like they say you're as sick as your darkest secrets. And within the four step, sometimes you have to uncover and discard those things that you just don't want people to know, but as soon as you do, and if you do it thoroughly, like you said, and honestly, then you get that relief. Yeah, fearless moral inventory, man. It's rough to have to, I think the hardest part about it is writing out your part in it. It's very easy to blame everybody else. And okay, I know what you did wrong to hurt me, but it's the hardest part to say, okay, what did I, what was my part in it? What did I do back? Or what did I do to start this hurt? And it's, you know. Yes, holding up the mirror. I think like one of the greatest things that someone ever told me is they got a big book. Someone gave, someone wanted to get sober. So they gave them a big book. And when you open the inside the front cover was a mirror. They like. Oh, that's a genius. Yeah, they glued a mirror inside and they're like, everyone else is in the problem. You are. And it's an inside job and it starts with you. And I was like, oh, shit, like that, that really. There was a, there was a guy at this meeting I went to years ago. He's fully tatted and he had the word grateful and the word surrender, but backwards on his arms. And I was like, and it just, I was fixated on it. Like everyone's sharing. I just listened that day. And I barely listened to anybody because I was so focused on this dude's tattoos. And after the meeting, I was like, bro, I just have to ask why are your tattoos backwards? Like it's, it's bothering me. He's like, well, I'm sorry it's bothering you. But he said every morning when I wake up and I'm brushing my teeth and I'm getting ready for the day in the mirror, it's written normal. So I got obsessed with that idea. So the last time I was in treatment, there was all these little plaques that everybody made. It was like a little piece of tile and you would leave a message behind. And I kept looking at all these different tiles and everybody had the same quote, like multiple people had the same quote. And it just said WC. I was like, who the hell's WC? And I looked it up, it was Winston Churchill. And he had a very famous quote that said, if you're going through hell, keep going. So I got that tattooed on my neck, but backwards. So I see that every morning when I'm getting ready for the day, like, you know, it doesn't matter how shitty the day is or how you're feeling, just keep going. Oh, I love that. I really needed this podcast today. I know that I've just observing and listening because I feel like maybe I, this was meant to be happening right now. I love that. I want to get a tattoo. It only takes two people to have a meeting. So technically we're having one right now. We're having one. If you really think about it, technically we're having one right now. So. And that's the beauty of sobriety. I was literally coming from, I live in Montana, flying back. I have the worst anxiety when I fly. And I've been off my antidepressant now for like four months since I really feel like my systems. And this is like 16 years of being on an antidepressant. I'm like tripping. Every time I go, my fucking legs go numb. I'm shaking. I think I'm gonna, I can't breathe. And the greatest thing about sobriety is, I know my 10 a.m. meeting that starts at nine in LA, I can go on Zoom and I literally sit there on the plane and do an AA meeting. And that's like, that's the gift of sobriety. We get to like do it whenever, wherever, all over the world. There's meetings at all times. Like there's no fucking excuse. No, there really isn't. There's no excuse. There really isn't. And again, like I said, it takes two people to have a meeting. So even if you're not able to physically get to one, call someone that's in the program and you're having a meeting. I mean, it's just that simple. I used to have one at my house. Not yet. I'm not done with my steps yet. I've just gotten extremely busy. I'm on my ninth step, which I, I mean, I was doing a ninth step over the last probably three years. But I'm kind of going back through who I really need to make amends with and who I've already made my peace with that I just don't want to reach out to. And, you know, because there is, like I just wrote down everybody and then I have kind of taken some time to reflect and go, eh, really don't want to talk to you. Or you know what? I kind of made my peace already with you. And also is it going to be, is it even going to be a beneficial conversation for the other person? Well, I mean, that's the thing about doing a ninth step is like if you're, if by, if by doing it is going to hurt or harm someone, then you don't do it. Exactly. So. You just make a living amends. Yeah. But a couple of these people, I really don't care if I hurt because they really just destroyed me. So, and they're just horrible human beings. But again, I just don't feel the need, you know? But yeah, I mean, once, yeah, because doing a, doing a 10 step is, you know, again, that's living amends. I'm doing that daily anyways. And, you know, doing an 11 step, you know, that whole spiritual connection, which I definitely understand more now than I'm not a religious person by any means. I'm definitely a more spiritual person. Yeah, I was going to ask you, what does your higher power look like? My higher power, you know, she's awesome. Yes. No, I, you know, I, it's all around me always. I, you know, I kind of grew up, I went to church a few times when I was younger, but I developed this opinion of, I don't want to go someplace to have someone else interpolate to me their version of the spoken word. That's their opinion. That's how they see it. That's how they read it. That's how they're, they're obtaining it. And I'm going to see it differently. If I read something and you read something, we might get the same thing out of it. We might not. So, I figured, I figured, you know what? I don't need that in my life to know that there is something greater than myself that has kept me alive, number one, and has allowed me to kind of come over this hump. And it's, it's just a beautiful feeling, you know, to just know that no matter what, I can always lean on my higher power no matter what, you know, and again, it's, your higher power is whatever you want it to be. What Us Cream? We installed telephone wires across rural Britain over a century ago, and you're still paying to use them for your broadband today. Ha ha ha. If it ain't broke, what? Stop! Your days of selling phone age broadband are over. Blast! I've spilled the beans. Upgrade to 100% full fiber. Gigaclear, faster broadband for rural Britain from only 19 pounds a month. Price may rise during contract. T's and C's apply. Check availability at gigaclear.com. How do you translate that with your girls? You have daughters, right? I have two girls. Yeah, so how do you explain that? 13, ugh, and nine. Yeah. Boys are not in the conversation. Well, not really, but there is, my oldest is now starting to talk about a boy, and I'm just like, God damn it. I know. It's crazy. I haven't told you. I know, it's hard. My best friend though, he's already in the thick of it. He has my oldest daughter and his daughter are like best friends. And his daughter's 14, mine's 13. And when she started school this year, like MetaBoy, and it's just been full speed ahead. And he's just, he's like, I wasn't prepared. It just happened overnight. He's like, she used to be into like anime and freaking photography. And she was kind of a nerd and she was fun and da-da-da. And now it's like, and I told him, I said, dude, the minute I went to your house one day and I saw her wearing makeup, oof, that was when it started. And then once the hormones and everything else is going on, there's no way to stop it. It's full, it's full steam ahead. And, but me, I've been best friends with my best friend for 25 years. And I was like, okay, I need to, I'm gonna just make up a scenario that all of you have to come to my house so I can meet this kid. Because if he's not cool in my eyes, Uncle AJ is gonna be like, no dude, no. Like this, this, this, yeah. And he's a really, really, really good kid. So I was like, all right. But, you know, I tease him constantly about this whole situation. And he's just, he's like, you just wait, bro. It's gonna come overnight. You're not gonna be prepared. And luckily for me, my girls do competitive dance. They sing, they do all the things. And so they're preoccupied. And the dance schedule is the most insane schedule. Way different than when I was growing up. I can tell you that, by the way, good for you that you're like dedicated. That shit is hard. It's insane. So they don't have time for boys, per se. But once they make the time, then there's nothing more I could do. Like I had this vision of my oldest, like a boy coming to ask her out on a date or to come to the house and say, hey, you know, I'm here for my date with you. We're gonna go to the movies, whatever. And me opening the door shirtless with all my tattoos and being like, just so you know, I went to prison. He's like, how come it doesn't show that on Google? Well, that's what I'm saying. All he has to do is Google me and go, nah, dude, you're in a boy band, man. Like you never went to prison. But actually, Joey Fatone from NSYNC, he's got two girls. One is in college and his youngest, I think she's 15 now, gave me the best advice for what to say to the boy that takes my daughter out for her first date, which is when he comes to the door, have a nice little simple conversation, just be like, listen, you know, make sure she's back at this time, blah, blah, blah. And just remember, whatever you do to her, I'm gonna do to you. Simple as that. And put the fear of God in you. She and I are single parents. So if we said that, I'm sure the guy would be like, well, that sounds fun. I'm gonna tell my friends. All right. That's amazing. Yeah, I have a 16 year old and that is hard. It's so hard and being single. Now they're looking at me like who you bringing home. And like, they all ask around me. Yes, yes. And they have an opinion. Boy or girl? I have two girls, 16 and- Yeah, we both have two girls, minor babies. We share a baby daddy. Nice. Yeah. There's a twist. She was the mistress and I was the wife. And welcome to an unliked family. And where do I fall in this mix? I was like, wait, hold on. I was the guy, you just didn't know it. I was, I had dark hair then. I wasn't blonde. No, we just- So you're going on tour in the fall, right? You're back? Yes. I'm going on my own. You're solo too, solo. Got it. Do you think that, cause this is your first time flying solo? So I did a- On a tour? I mean, I'm gonna say yes because I, I released a solo project in 2009 that was only really seen in like parts of Southeast Asia and then Europe. I toured in Europe, did a couple in like Japan, but my management at the time and I were not seeing eye to eye. So it never really came into fruition. And it was a great album, but if you listen to it today, every song sounds like a battery boy song. Okay. Cause I didn't know who I was yet. I didn't know how to not write and make music that sounds like a group. So I was, I did what I thought was what people want to hear. So this time, this is, this is me. Like this is, that's why I wanted to reintroduce the world to Alex and because, you know, one of the things that I learned three years ago when we finished the DNA tour, my wife and I were separated. So I was living on my own. So I had a little bit more free time per se. So I hopped in my truck and drove to Scottsdale, Arizona. And I admitted myself into a outpatient program at a place called the Meadows for love and relationship addiction. Because I was sober, but I wanted to get to the root of like, cause obviously most addicts know the drinking and the drugs, that's all symptomatic. That's not the real problem. And I suffered from a condition that my best friend calls peace of shitism. So I hated the person I was. And I did everything I did because I wanted the attention, I wanted the external validation. If you don't like me, oh my God, what am I going to do to make you like me? So self-esteem was like, definitely not number one on my list. So I went there, I was supposed to stay for four weeks. I stayed for 12 weeks, fell in love with Scottsdale. I'm a big golfer too. So like, it was, he was heaven. Monday through Friday, I'm in therapy for three hours and then golf every freaking weekend in 116 degrees. But I learned boundaries there, fell in love with this woman that I have to meet someday. Her name is Brene Brown. She is like a motivational speaker. She is like, I feel like she's my second mom and I've never met her, but we watched videos of her in therapy and I'm just like, oh my God, like she gets it. She gets me. And I actually have a tattoo. Braving is one of her mantras, which is boundaries, reliability, accountability, vault, integrity, non-judgment and gratitude. And I have BB down there. Like she really touched me. If you meet her, I just, I said this to a lot of the other night, we were laying in bed, I said, you know who Brene Brown is? And she does this beautiful, her claim to fame is this Ted talk about shame and vulnerability. Remember I said, I asked Brene Brown. Yeah, I remember. But she is a God send. She's a wonderful woman. Yeah, so I learned a lot from her, learned a lot from my group, boundaries, but the one thing that pertained to me specifically was that, okay, AJ is a character in a band. Doesn't define who I am. I didn't know how to separate the two for years. So I would come off stage and instead of turning it off and just being normal, I stayed in AJ mode. And because I, again, he was getting all the attention. He was the one that everybody wanted to be around. All the hanger honors, the leeches, the fake ass people, but I didn't see that, you know? But so now I wanted to reinvent myself. I wanted to reintroduce the world to me. And so from the EP, which was Hi, My Name is Alex to the full LP, which is My Name is Alexander James. And that's gonna be my mantra from this point on. Like anything I do on my own is gonna be under my name. Because, you know, and I was, it's funny, when I put the album out, I was mad because I couldn't put it up on all the DSPs as Alexander James because it would have been difficult for people to find. So it still had to go under AJ McLean, which bothered me. And I had to do a lot of praying about it and a lot of like reflecting like, okay, don't bite your own hand. Like it's okay, but it bothered me, you know? And, but I go back to the same scenario with like Timberlake. Like, you know, he was Justin Timberlake of NSYNC. For years until, now granted he left the group. That's a different scenario. I'm not leaving my boys going on record saying that. But, you know, at some point, God willing, there will be a definitive line between the two. But I know that's not gonna happen right out the gate. And that's why- No, it takes time. Yeah, so- Takes a lot of time. I mean, I think it's wonderful. And I think just us touching on sobriety and all of those things, it does open your eyes to like getting really to the root of who you are, what you want in life, what makes you tick beyond the flashing lights and the articles, which, you know, it becomes very addicting. You've been in it for decades. And I think we also are, our alcoholic minds become addicted to the very high highs and the low lows. And once you, like you said, get to the root of what makes me tick, what do I care about? Why am I this way? You were able to put out this album. And I think this could very well be the start of that definitive moment you're talking about. I definitely agree. You know, there's three songs on the album that are three very pivotal phases in my life. One is a song called Arizona that was inspired by my stint in Arizona. And it's a rough listen, even if you don't know me, it's rougher if you do know me on a personal level because it's a very much a singing in the mirror reflection song. Yeah. And then there's a song called Relapse, which I in sobriety did a lot of fucked up shit. And, you know, got involved with people, places and things that I shouldn't have. But I was sober, but I was acting alcoholically. And so that song is about that part. And even after, you know, Arizona and doing all this self-realization stuff, I still hadn't jumped into the steps. I still wasn't doing the proper things. So of course I'm gonna, how I didn't relapse through this phase, literally, I have no idea. But then the final chapter is the last song on the album is a song called Better Man. And that is where I am today. And it kind of encompasses lyrically everything from Arizona, Relapse and now into one song. And it really is. And that's actually the name of the tour that I'm gonna do in the fall is the Better Man tour. We kick off in October. Okay. The official dates are going on sale on Father's Day. Oh, I love that. So I was trying to. And will you post on your Instagram? Some people know. It'll be everywhere. It'll be everywhere. Yeah. Cause I was trying to think of a, like a moment to post about it and give the dates. Cause I recently, recently got on Twitch and I did a live stream with my all girl band. And I made the announcement that there is going to be a tour. And then I said, I'll make the announcement of the actual dates on Father's Day. Okay. So I have a random question that just popped in my mind, which usually happens cause I have ADD. If I were to go on your Spotify or app or wherever you get your, like, what is your go-to song? Like, what do you love? What kind of music are you listening to? I like this question. I'm like a kaleidoscope. I mean, I really listened to literally everything. And I've learned new styles of music over the years that I never would have listened to. Like country. Country is number one. I was never a big country guy. I mean, who didn't love Faith Hill when she came out, obviously, you know, but breathe was a pop record, period. You know what I mean? It was on top 40 radio. It wasn't a country record, but I didn't really dive into country until we did a duet with Florida Georgia line a few years back and then we toured with them. It was us, FGL and Nelly. And that's when I really kind of fell in love with, because at that point, they had broken down the kind of stereotype of doing songs with like urban artists and these types of things. Yeah, like Shibuzy and like, yeah. Exactly. So that's when I was like, oh, country's not country anymore. Country is pop. It's crossover. Wait, was Billy Ray Cyrus did it with? Who did he do? Little Nas. Little Nas, actually. But that was after FGL had done their song with Nelly, a song called Drive, I think it was called. Yes. So. But you guys, wasn't like the first crossover of the two, Nelly and Tim McGraw? I think they did. All in my head. I think they did something too. Yeah, it was like him and Billy Ray Cyrus did something and then eventually. Yeah, but Billy Ray was way later. I was in my 20s when that happened. The OG, there we go. I was four. But when was FGL and Nelly? Was that in the mid 2000s? Like 2000. No, Nelly and FGL. I wonder when that was like 2014, maybe? Do you know who I have the biggest girl crush on? I do too, really. And I don't swing that way, but if I were to swing that way, Halsey. Okay. And Jessie Murph. She's a dover. Oh, Jessie Murph. Okay, I like it. I like it too. Made of a lot of comfortable. I mean, no, I, I mean, I, yeah, I. I'm trying, like I, it's weird. So I used to have the biggest crush on Jessica Beale. And then. You didn't. And then now knowing her and she's married to a dear friend of mine. They live in my house. It makes it weird. It makes it weird. My first time meeting her, Justin had a show at the, I think it was at the forum. And I was with my wife and we went backstage to, you know, say hi to everybody. And Jess was in the dressing room and I had never met her before. And my wife just throws me out in the bush. She's like, he has the biggest crush on you. And I'm like, oh my God. Did you turn beat red? I did. I did. But then Jess was so nice. She's like, well, you're my favorite. You're my favorite anyways. I'm like, oh my. You're my favorite anyways. I'm like, okay. Well, I can die happy now. I love that. I just met her in Bozeman for the first time at a hair salon because they, they live in, they live in Montana. Yes, they do. They're the most racist people in the world. Yes. 100%. I mean, I, you know, I, I think probably one of the most random artists that I'm a fan of, which I fell in love with when I first moved to California in 2000. I'm a, I'm one of those guys that like puts 24s on his truck and like, that's just, you know, whatever. And I was in my, I think I was in my Range Rover and bumping loud as I can, and yeah. And like, sail away and then, there's one, a Carpe, Carpe something. And then also there's the one that the Fuji sampled, which is that. So I'll never forget this like hoopty pulls up next to me on like 26s, you know, on frigging airbags and is like doing this to me because of my, my, you know, range. And I put the window down and he like lowers his music and he hears, sail away, sail away. And he puts his window right back up. And I'm like, what? Everybody loves them some, Anya, come on, man. Who doesn't? It's the best. Anya or like Emotion Heap. Like I love that like ethereal Celtic stuff. I'm into, it was an enigma. Fuck. Team one. Dude, I don't know why those. Return to innocence. Oh, bring me to my fucking knees. But that song, that song, because I was, God, how old was I when that song came out? I think it was like maybe 13, 14. And like there was a woman making kind of like orgasmic sounds on that song. And it really made me like, I was like, something's happening and I shouldn't be happening. And I'm listening to this song and I'm like, what is it? Like I didn't, I wasn't in touch with my hormones yet. And like, but that song, I'll never forget that like deep breathing woman's voice and like moaning. And I'm like, what the hell is this shit? But it was like, oh, enigma in my pants. Thank you. Every moment of this podcast, by the way, we have touched on him getting in touch with his hormones, sobriety, higher powers. My pants, there you go. My pants. I'm so grateful that you made time for us today. I mean, thank you guys for having me, honestly. And we all should go to a meeting or definitely. Okay, wait, two things. Meeting, check, because AA comes before everything. And then a concert. Yeah, we got one. Concert's done, meeting done. And so you're in Bozeman. I mean, she's moving back in August. Okay, so that's where that's where. She's already made the decision for me. Now that'll make sense, cause that's where Justin lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We play pickleball at the same pickleball center. The only pickleball center. And so Riley, she volunteers for the younger kids and they obviously have younger kids. And so she was playing with them and I'm like, do you know who that is? She's like, no. Do you fucking know who you just played? It's just so wild. It's so crazy. I definitely want to down the road, get like Justin already sold me on it, but I'm like, I really want a ranch. Nothing massive. No, publicers. I want a place to go with the fam that is like off the grid. Yes, nature, become one. I'm going away. Don't email me, don't text me. Unless someone dies, I don't want to hear from anybody. I think that's genius. And I love animals. So I want, like, and I'm obsessed with goats. I just, I love goats. Oh my God, if you get goats, can we come? I want goats. I want long, I want sheep. I want long haired cows, but like the mini cows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Highlanders are called Highlanders. Yeah. And I don't want horses or high maintenance. And I do love horses, but I, I just want animals and I'm not going to kill. I just want animals just in like, Are you a ranch hand? Well, probably. Yeah. I do want fresh eggs, but I do not. Oh, they're so dirty. I do not like chickens. Birds freak me out. Oh my God. Like Michelle, like brother Michelle. Birds really freak me out. I did this thing at the Playboy Mansion when it was still around. I was honoring Diane Warren. This was years ago. And she is a big animal conservationist and mainly birds. She's like loves her birds. And I went there, I gave my little speech. They presented her with this award. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to dip out. I came and did what I needed to do and show my support for my girl. And then the press was like, oh, let's get a picture of you and Diane. And I'm like, okay. So I'm posed next to her and dude, I could have shit my pants. They put a cockatoo on this arm and a McCall on this arm. And I'm like, literally my eyes are like this. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Like I'm holding my breath. No sudden movements. Like I freaked out. Like I can't. You're like how I was with snakes. If I see a snake freak. I love snakes. Oh my God. Spiders know. You are both tripping. Spiders know clowns. Absolutely not. You can say fuck no. And frogs. Frogs also. Things that jump I don't like. Right. Unpredictable things. Yes, I lived, when I was in Orlando before I moved to LA, I lived a mile and a half from my mom's house. I had a frog in my toilet one afternoon. I made her drive to my house to get the frog out of my toilet. I couldn't even scoop it out. I would have done the same thing. You couldn't just give it a flush? No, I didn't want to kill it, but I didn't want it jumping on me. I love that we found this out about AD. Yeah. I wouldn't give it a flush. I didn't give it a jumps. Yeah. I didn't know that tarantulas jump. I didn't know that. My first, my first in rehab was at Sierra Tucson and Tucson, Arizona. And it was in July. So I was introduced to javelinas, which are gnarly tarantulas, a monsoon. Scorpions. Scorpions. Centipedes. Centipedes. But the tarantula thing, I saw one over, they had this thing called the butt hut where you can smoke. And I was outside having a cigarette and I saw one kind of in the pathway. And I'm like, oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. And then I went to walk around it like wide and it reared up and jumped up like a good two and a half feet. Oh my God. I'm pretty sure I blacked out. And then I ended up back in my room, but I was like, oh, hell no. I did not know that they can do that. So no. And recently I was at a friend's daughter's birthday party and she's obsessed with, she has a bearded dragon, she had rats, she has a tarantula. So they had this animal guy come with like all these exotic animals for the kids to play with. Son of a bitch put a tarantula on my head. And I, Oh my God. I've never been more still in my life. And I thought maybe this will be like the turning point and I'll be able to hold on in my hand. Overcome my fear. No. I whipped my head. It fell down. We're in the living room of my friend's house and like, we can't find it. Oh my God. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. These are like little six year olds running around and I'm like, oh my God, I'm gonna kill somebody. Luckily they remove their teeth, I think, when they're pats. Yeah, they grind them down. They grind the fangs or something happens, I don't know. Thankfully we found it rather quickly, but Jesus. I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna kill somebody's kid with a tarantula. It happens. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Thank you for joining us on an unlikely affair, Amber. I love you to death. I love you too, baby. Thank you guys for listening to this episode. We're gonna catch you next week. Love y'all, bye. Bye.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 favorite americano fills the cup, made with real beans and fresh milk. Ooh, that's quality. Start as you mean to go on with Costa Express. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.