1432 - How to Pick Up Chicks w/Elsa Moreck

In a world of noise and uncertainty, IG is the investment platform that backs you. Take a reflexable stock size, which gives you the freedom to withdraw funds anytime and replace them in the same tax year, all without losing your £20,000 tax-free allowance. And if that's not enough, pay no commission on your stock shares and ETFs when you invest with IG. IG. Trade. Invest. Progress. Your capital's at risk, other fees may apply, tax treatment depends on individual circumstances and a subject to change. Re-hide your whips and chain. Hi, Elsa Morick. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. How are you today? I am excellent. How are you? I'm good. So, Elsa, you're a dating coach, right? I mean, like, what guy can't use a dating coach? I mean, you do speak to men, right? You're a dating coach for men. I don't know if you coach women too, but I think a lot of guys are the ones that need the advice. Yeah. So, I'd say both need the advice for sure. But I started out working actually with women. And yes, I made the switch four years ago, a little over four years ago now, because first of all, I noticed that when I was working with just women, it would always complain about men and, you know, naturally, that's what they're there for. They're there to air their grievances and get support. But what I noticed was when I would talk to single men, they too had similar grievances and it sounded like both men and women were complaining about the exact same thing, but they were just missing each other. So, I started out working with women and I was like, you know what, I think I need to work with both. So, then I started to bring on men and I had several co-ed masterminds where I would have men and women in the exact same group learning about dating and having very honest discussions. And then I got approached by a publisher to write a book called Dating for Men. And when it came time to actually market the book, I got on TikTok for the first time ever. And as an experiment, I made all my videos catering to men. And my second video went viral. It got over 100K views within a few hours of posting it. And every video since kept going viral. So, I got the hunch that maybe I should be focused on men. Then I started reposting those same videos on Instagram and same thing. They just kept going viral, 750K, you know, 1.2 million. And it just kept seeming that when I would talk to women, you know, they would do okay. But when I would talk to men, it would really resonate. And why do you think that is? Do you have an idea? I think that men really want to learn from women. Yeah. You know, traditionally, we have pickup artists, like pickup artistry. Yeah. And that was great. Like it definitely served a big, big, big need. The problem with pickup artistry is over time, women started catching, they just started picking up on it. Like they, a woman could feel when a guy was rehearsing a line that didn't originate from him. Totally. She could feel when he was kind of like trying to gamify the system. And I, you know, I used to always say this, like a pickup, pickup artist might get you to sleep with someone, but they're not always going to be able to get you to keep that engagement going because you can, you can keep up the charades, you know, for an hour or two, maybe even an entire first date. Oh, I think people could do it for eight months, but at some point your real fucking self is going to come out. And that's why people break up. Exactly. Exactly. And plus it just doesn't really work on confident women, like the whole negging thing. I'm a favorite of it. Oh no, I know all about the pickup stuff. And it, listen, it actually like works. It's like, you know, it's psychology 101. You could get someone addicted by really fucking with their head the way that they do, right? Exactly. It's the hamster in the wheel, but you are not getting them to like you. You are mind fucking them into getting addicted to you. And they are not even close to giving a shit about who you are. It is no different than the mouse and that thing. So where does that go? Nowhere, if you ask me, you know, exactly. And I would even, and I would even argue that a healthy woman, exactly, it's kind of like, it's kind of like right now, like I try to observe a very low sugar and low processed food diet. Yeah. I mean, you could try to tempt me with a donut, covered in sugar, but more than likely I have the discipline to say, no, thank you. Exactly. And I feel like it's the same thing with a confident woman. You can try to tempt her with those mind games, but if she's been there, done that, and she knows herself and she's confident, she's probably going to pass on you. And I think that that to answer your question was why I kind of just went viral right away, because I think that there was a gap in the market for good solid men who recognize that they are a typical nice guy and they're being overlooked, but they also don't want to be, they don't want to feel and authentic or cheesy. So they were looking for like, what's that advice that has me feeling more assertive and confident, but also still has me feeling like myself. And I was one of the first people at least on TikTok to fill that need. Yeah, I love that. And I think, don't you think too, it has a little bit to do with like women, we could go to our girlfriends and talk about dating and right. I mean, that's what we spend all our time on the phone with our friends when we're in the dating mode, right? Exactly. Analyzing every move and that they do, guys don't talk to their guy friends about that. So where do they get that information, you know, from women? And especially like if they're getting it from another woman, I think that's like key, right? Because they're like, oh, this is exactly what I want to know. And you know, if you're like a woman doing it, it's like perfect. So I think it makes sense. And to play devil's advocate, because I don't know if you've ever heard this before, but online, there's this quote of don't ask a fish how to fish ask a fisherman. Yeah, of course. Yeah, argument. So to be fair, because some men listening to this, yeah, some men listening to this might be skeptical. Like why would I ask a woman when I could like a woman, if she straight has not dated a bunch of other women. So why wouldn't I just ask a man? Oh, come on. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard because you want to date a woman and you're a woman, you know, you're going to tell them exactly what you want. Men and women are from Mars. Like men are from Mars, women for Venus. That book was a brilliant genius. Shit. Okay, it's very true. A guy will never understand a woman the way a woman does. So who better to tell them how to get a girl, a girl, not a guy. Exactly. And not just that, but the way that we work with women, because when I work with clients, I'm not the only one giving them a perspective. I bring other single women into my program to also weigh in. And the way that we have them be useful to these men is we actually have to coach the women on being honest. Because in the real world, when a woman goes on a date with a guy and she's not really feeling it, I'm not going to say 100% of the time, but I would argue at least 80% of the time, she's not going to tell him why. Totally. So she's going to let him down easy. She's going to let it naturally fizzle out. You know, she might come up with some excuse about work or school or whatever, but it's highly unlikely that she's going to sit down and make a bulleted list of like, here are all the ways that you fumbled it and why I'm just not feeling it. Yeah, yeah, I love that. They don't really know how to do that and they don't really feel incentivized to. So part of our job is coaching women as well on giving men honest feedback. Yeah, and men need that. How else are they going to learn, you know? Exactly. Why don't we start with those signs that women aren't interested? Like, are there the top five signs that a woman isn't interested when you're out with her because she's not being honest, like you said in that scenario? Yeah, that's a good question. I actually had a client recently, Adam, who was on a date and he was pretty disappointed because he thought in his mind that everything was going really well. And I'm sure people listening to this are going to find, they're going to hear themselves in the story. But, you know, he's an electric engineer, very analytical, and, you know, he shows up to the date on time. She's on time as well. She's dressed nicely. So he assumes, oh, okay, she put an effort, you know, everything is looking good so far. They met online, they sit and they talk for like, three and a half hours nonstop. She's laughing, he's laughing. Everything seems really good. And then at the, toward the end of the date, you know, he asks her for the next date. She says, sure, that sounds great. And then nothing, like radio silence. The next day he reaches out to her, you know, he says, I had fun last night. I'm excited to see you on Thursday. Nothing, no response, nada. And so he's wondering what went wrong. And so he's repeating, you know, the sequence of events to me, like, here's what happened. She showed up. She was laughing. We talked. I'm just so confused. And so I ask a very simple question. Did you kiss? Right? No, no. Okay, was there any instance of physical touch? Well, no. Did you flirt? I don't know. What would that look like? Me, I break it down for him. No, there wasn't any of that. And so this happens to so many men. They think that because they had a long conversation, and she was smiling and laughing and everything seemed to be good, that she's into them. Right. But if you haven't tried to flirt with her, if you haven't tried to, with consent, of course, initiate physical touch. And then you don't actually know if she likes you or not. Yeah, totally. You're just two friends having dinner. And if anything, you know, let's be really honest here. If anything, she's having a free meal with a pleasant guy, which is not a terrible deal. No, what I've said on those situations, I've been in that situation, go out with a guy on a date, I get there. Oh, he doesn't look as good as his pictures. He's not that interested in me. I know in two seconds, I'm not into him, right? Why do I hang out with him for two hours? Because I'm like having fun talking about myself. Exactly. I swear to God, I'm just like enjoying myself. And I'm like, Oh, like I had fun, you know, it was good. I just like used it for entertainment. Yeah, yeah, why not? Yeah, your hair, your makeup. But you're like, Oh, I'll have two cocktails and chat with you. Yeah, but I used to make jokes with my girlfriends. Like there's no way this guy has a clue. I didn't like I'm like, why else would I sit there for two hours? I'm like, I just find myself interesting. I got to talk about myself. But right there, like I didn't ask him one question about himself. I mean, that's a that's a sign. And even and you know, even when they do, and that's what confused a lot because she asked questions, you know, the eye, she didn't break eye contact. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I mean, you're not a terrible person to hang out with. Yeah. But the real test was if you flirted, how did she respond? If you touched her, how did she react? And did you kiss? Because those are the real indicators that she's interested. Yeah. So to answer your question, how do you know if she's not interested? It's tricky. It's tricky because that situation that I just outlined is what happens 85% of the time, right? In a very small percent of the time, you'll get a very straight shooting woman who is like, Hey, you seem awesome. I already know I'm not interested. You know, we let's just split the bill and go our separate ways. Like, when does that ever happen? Very, very, very rarely. It takes a very special kind of very blunt woman to do that. Most women are going to sit with you and entertain the date. But I'd say that if you initiate physical touch, which again, is something that I teach, I teach them on how to do it in a way that is consensual, and that is like, situationally appropriate, like you're not just going to grab her, you know, randomly when she's all expecting, you're going to do it in a way that's romantic and spontaneous, but also with consent. So if you do that and she responds favorably, or if she says no, but she gives a reason that has nothing to do with how attracted she is to you, because that's possible too, then you're on the right track. Right. But what about that? Like, so how do you get that guy to have the confidence to do that? So how I do that with clients is you got to practice. And most people don't want to hear that because they're like, wait a second, I don't want to go out and practice on real women in the real world, which is totally fair. That's why, you know, not to do my own program, but that's why we do drills in our program. So we do drills that simulate real life. Oh, love that. Have you practicing these in a safe environment where the woman knows that you're there to practice? And you'd be astonished how quickly it feels real. Like, even though you know, it's a drill, like it's actually really easy to get into the field of what it would be like when you practice over and over and over and over again in a controlled environment, then when you're out in the real world, you notice those micro signals that women give that they want you to do something that they want you to approach that they want you to escalate. And then there's no rejection because then you're aware, you're like, oh, okay, she just moved her leg. She, I try to move in and she moved away. Noted. Right. Yeah. I'm not going to keep, you know, I'm not going to keep going for it when she's showing me with her body, which makes up for 95% of how we communicate that she's not interested. Hey guys, has timing ever been an issue for you in the bad room? Well, listen, you're definitely not alone because there really is an orgasm gap. It's a fact. Girls take a little bit longer to have an orgasm than guys. 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She, I try to move in and she moved away. Noted. Right. Yeah. I'm not going to keep, you know, I'm not going to keep going for it when she's showing me with her body, which makes up for 95% of how we communicate that she's not interested. What are your, can I ask you, you know, what's the demographics of your clients, your male clients? Are they typically like of a certain age? Or are they across the board? Or are they young, you know, are they divorced guys? Because I called, like I have a whole thing about like the dick, I call them dickless divorcees. I don't know, because you know, I'm older. So I've seen guys go through long-term marriages that went bust and then they got divorced and they are just like, you know, guys with no game, you know, like totally different guys, they come out on the other side, you know, and those guys need a lot of help to get back in the game and stuff. Like, do you see guys of all different stages in life and ages? For sure. Yeah, I have a lot of engineers. I have a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of salespeople anywhere between the ages of 24 and never had a girlfriend, sometimes even still virgins, all the way up to like 53 divorced three kids. Want to get back in the game. Yeah, I mean, you never call them dickless divorcees. I could do those are my friends. I'm just saying that's my friends. But you know what I mean? Like, they just have no game. They've been out of it for so long. You know, it's a weird place to be, but they need help too. They do. Yeah. As well as that. Although I do find that my divorcees pick up the fastest on the learnings. Like they, my divorcees are probably amongst the most impressive that I work with just because they're rusty, but it's kind of like riding a bike. Yeah, smart. You have that foundation. So once you're, once you start working with me, you start to immediately see results, which is really exciting for them. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, they've already scored that girl, right? So they know, but that's very different than that poor guy who's 24. That might be kind of shy, you know, and has has no game and is a virgin. I've talked to those guys too. How do you help those guys? You know, it's interesting. I have a famous case because he was my first one. Victor, I worked with him several years back and he's a 20. He was that he was a 28 year old virgin. Yeah. Software engineer, extreme social anxiety to the extent that this is before I had a sales team, before I had anyone else working for me. I was a one woman show. Yeah. So I did my own sales and I got on, you know, the, the call for us to decide are we going to work together. He could not make eye contact with me. Right. And it was so hard because I'm like, I didn't say anything because I'm like, all right, we're going to, we're going to work all this out. But on our first session, I had to challenge him to maintain eye contact with me. Yeah. He's already like, he needed to be his coach. Yeah. And so we have a lot of work to do, but through exposure therapy. So exposure therapy, meaning just by him hanging out in my presence as someone that he'd seen on Instagram, someone that he found, you know, objectively attractive, like he wasn't trying to date me, but he was like, yeah, someone like you would be cool. Someone who's smart and funny and pretty, like that's more or less in my age range. So just by hanging out with me, he started to normalize what it's like to be in the presence of a woman, which is something that he had never had to do before because he has a brother and he works in a male dominated field. It was during COVID where everyone was working from home. So just being exposed to a woman on a weekly basis was very nourishing for him and it was helping him to start to grow in that way. Anyway, how I help someone like that. So through exposure therapy, which I just mentioned, another thing is a lot of visualization. So I do a lot of like guided meditations, guided visualizations. I mean, we've known for a long time now that professional athletes use these, actors use these, public speakers use these, world class presenters use visualization as a way to decrease performance anxiety. So I do the same thing in my programs. I customize visualizations according to that person's strengths and that person's fears. And we really focus on diminishing those fears when they are alone, that way when they are in person, their subconscious mind has already kind of started to normalize that experience. And then lastly, I work with people in communities. So I have, you know, I've been running group programs pretty much since, since when I first started eight years ago. And the group, the group effect is so powerful because here you are a 20 year old virgin, you know, you're, you're thinking to yourself, I'm not the conventional attractive guy. I'm not white. I'm not six, two, you know, I'm not super buff. Like I'm this small Indian dude. And I'm, I have this strong accent. I have very little experience. Who's to say that it's going to work for me. But then you meet someone else who looks like you, and it's similar to you demographically, and you see him starting to rise and get results. It gives you permission. It starts, it starts to make it normal for you like, Oh, well, if, you know, Vishal over there can do it, then I can too. If this guy over there can do it. And we look similar. And we're kind of like, you know, similar walks of life. Then maybe it's possible for me to. And so the group effect is very powerful. So that particular student, when he signed up with me, there, I had several clients here in Austin, they actually went out in person as one of the assignments I gave them, they went out in person to a bar. And within 45 minutes, he was making out with a woman that he just met. The guy, the 24 year old. Yeah. Yeah, the guy. Yeah, Victor, how much, how much work did he do? Like, how long, how long did he work with you before he had that appointment? We had been working together two and a half months. We'd been working together two and a half months. That's not bad. That's amazing. Yeah. And when we wrapped up our time together, which so he did extend his program with me, we, when we, but when he wrapped up at around six months, he had, he had a girlfriend that he asked out in person, which was a very big deal to him because up to that point, he had relied on dating apps. Yeah. Up to that point, meaning up until the point that he met me, when we started working together, like most students, they'll usually ditch the apps within, I'd say four to six weeks is when they usually start ditching the apps. Yeah. And just relying on in person stuff. But, but yeah, he had a girlfriend and he had asked her out in person himself. And so yeah, it's totally possible. And he's not the first virgin. He was the first virgin I worked with, but he wasn't the last one that I worked with. Oh, of course. There's that market out there. I just talked to many. Yeah. Sometimes it doesn't even seem like it. Let me tell you, I just had a woman on who I interviewed. I haven't posted her episode yet. Bella Cummins is her name. She's one of the only madams like, of a legal brothel here in the U S. She's very famous. She's been running this Cherry's Ranch in Nevada forever. She's just a smart ass business woman. She's never been a courtesan herself or anything, but she ran this business in this male dominated world and made it this huge success. And she was talking about how she gives virgins discounts because she lives like in Nevada. They're very close to some of these places where it's a lot of like Mormon communities and really read communities. And you have a high amount of like men in those places that are still virgins and she's like really helping them. So they exist. It's not like an anomaly. You know what I mean? Like they, I will say that when I'm wondering if she can vouch for this, there's a difference at least in my experience. There's a difference in confidence between a man who's selectively still a virgin versus like it just happened. Of course. Yeah. So like this gentleman, he didn't want to be a virgin. He just had extreme social anxiety. I've worked with other men who because of their faith, we're saving it. I still actually have virgins who are saving it into marriage, but it's a different confidence level because it's their choice. Yeah. I've talked to the guys, the first guys that you said, the guys who are, you know, virgins not by choice, but because they just haven't had the balls or whatever. They just are two in their head. You know, there's a lot of reasons, you know, and when I'm talking to them, a lot of times I have a sex show, right? Like a podcast and these guys are calling up because they're going and getting happy ending massages and doing all these things and wasting their time, you know, sort of having intimate relationships that are very transactional because they don't feel comfortable to get out in the real world and put themselves out there. And the more you do that, the more afraid you're going to be, right? Because it's like what you resist persists, right? So if you're so petrified of react, whatever, the more you avoid it, the more that fear is going to come up, right? And then you have these guys that you spend 10 years, you know, avoiding that. And it only gets worse, right? The older you get, because you just get more in your head. So I know that. What about the whole thing like nice guys finish last? You know what I mean? There's always like those guys. I'm sure you talk to those guys. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. I'd say the majority of my clients are nice guys. I've worked with I've worked with a few who are not typical nice guys. But then when you dig deeper, you find out they are. So honestly, I'd say all my clients are nice guys. And I'll make a distinction between nice guy and good guy. Yeah, please. All the clients I work with are good guys. And when they start out, they're usually all nice guys too. When they're done working with me, they are no longer nice guys, but they remain good guys. Okay, that's important. I think that's a good distinction. So a good guy is a good guy is a nice guy who has standards and boundaries, right? Meaning he'll he observes social pleasantries. It's not like he's a douchebag living in his own world. He still observes what it means to to follow certain like social norms. But he's got boundaries. So like if you're 25 minutes late to your date with him, he's not gonna like cuss at you. He's not gonna yell at you in public. He's not gonna just walk up and leave like he's still gonna be a gentleman. But he's gonna let you know that you crossed a boundary, right? Whereas a typical nice guy is someone who's a good guy who's got no boundaries and no standards. So he is going to let you push him around. He is going to be your de facto handyman, your de facto therapist, like pretty much whatever role you want to assign him. He's cool with it because he's so desperate for your attention that he will do anything to be there. Right. And also another feature of nice guys is that they don't know how to stand out. So on the spectrum of social norms and authenticity, let's just say that authenticity is on one end of the spectrum, you know, social norms is on the other. They are so far in the direction of social norms that they don't even have a sense of self. Right. So in other words, you know, when you are truly authentic, and you probably know this, because I can already tell just by the short bit I've talked to you that you can be polarizing, but in a very interesting way. Right. Like you, I can tell that you speak your mind. Yes. And you're liberated in that way. So, but there are a lot of people who don't have that. There are a lot of people who are so suppressed that they don't know how they don't even know who they are anymore. They've just become an amalgamation of social expectations. And so a lot of the guys that I work with, the reason why they'll come back from a date that was three and a half hours that they thought went swimmingly and the girl was, you know, already decided that she's not going to see them again is because they failed to polarize her. They failed in any shape or form to make her feel like I have your back. I'm like, I can keep you safe. I have strong sense of self. I am solid. Instead, they're making her feel like, aw, like, you know, he's, he's cute, like teddy bear cute. Like I want to lean my head on his shoulder, you know, and comfort him, but not like sexy, like I want him to ravish me. Yeah, big difference, which can only come when you have a strong sense of self and boundaries and you're willing to be polarizing. Yeah. And that's why people will be like, Oh, nice guys finished last, but it's not so much, but it's not good guys. It's nice guys, but when it nice, and I think you have to really sort of make that distinction, but you could help that nice guy that's nice in the wrong way, right? The desperate way, like sort of up his game without turning him into a douchebag, right? Without playing the game or the thing, right? That's what you do. Yeah, I would say it's even impossible to take a nice guy and turn them into a bad, a bad man. They just, they don't even, they don't even, that's not even in their field. Like, those guys, I don't even really come across them, thankfully, in my program, because usually when you're that guy, first of all, you're not very self aware. Yeah. So you're not looking for help. And secondly, unfortunately, you're usually doing well enough with women that you don't really feel the need to ask for help. But like we were talking about earlier with the pickup artists, doing well doesn't necessarily mean that you're dating healthy women and you're in a healthy relationship with them. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. All right, guys, if you want to feel both fully on and ready, both mentally and physically in the bedroom, well, then you need to check out Blue Chew Gold. Listen, Blue Chew has been on a mission to help guys build their confidence and help them actually perform in the bedroom. And their new arousal boosting formula, Blue Chew Gold, is helping millions of men have better sex. While most ED medications only focus on blood flow, Blue Chew Gold goes further by combining two ingredients for blood flow and two ingredients for mental arousal and connections. So you're not just physically ready, you're actually going to be in the mood because, listen, getting hard is not the same thing as getting aroused. So guys, don't let your mind get in the way of a good time. 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One guy says he is now doing it three times a day with his wife. And that happens to him after seven to 10 days of taking it. They also have other great products like load boost, soaking wet, and they just dropped a nude product called Energy Boost. It's a pre-workout powder that you drink with effective ingredients for blood flow, energy, and focus. Try the raspberry flavor. It's really delicious and it works. So what are you waiting for? Go get yourself some Drive Boost by VB Health. All you got to do is go to vb.health and use my code Strictly for 10% off. That's vb.health. Use code Strictly for 10% off or just go to the description. Click on the link and use my code Strictly. First of all, you're not very self-aware. So you're not looking for help. And secondly, unfortunately, you're usually doing well enough with women that you don't really feel the need to ask for help. But like we were talking about earlier with the pickup artist, doing well doesn't necessarily mean that you're dating healthy women and you're in a healthy relationship with them. Yeah, exactly. Well, let me just explain a little bit about you, but just so that people know. Because I think it's important in your practice. The fact that like I think it actually does help in what you do that you're super hot, like you're a very hot girl, right? Thank you. And so I think it's a little intimidating. Like you're like up there, right? So a guy comes to you, this 24-year-old virgin. I could see why he can't look at you, but like how great to sort of put him in front of a super hot girl because that's like top of the mountain, right? Like start there. And then when you get out in the real world, maybe the regular girl sitting across from you can make out with her. But I think don't you think it kind of helps that you're like super hot and you're like these guys. Well, first of all, I appreciate how, yeah, I appreciate how comfortable you are just saying it like it is. First of all, I do thank you. I appreciate the compliment, but also like every woman I work with is hot. Yeah. And at the risk of sounding super, superficial, yeah, it's actually like a baseline requirement. Because if you are going to be front facing and you're going to be working with clients, I need you to kind of play two, I need you to hit two birds with one stone. Right. On the one hand, I need you to be very knowledgeable on the subject matter so that you can actually help them. But on the second hand, I need you to be the kind of woman that they're trying to attract. Yeah. Because you're under, you understand that woman's psychology. So the advice that you're giving is actually based in reality because you are that woman out in the real world and also because you're exposure therapy for them. Yeah. Every time they get on a video call with you and you look, you know, dressed to the nines, it helps them start to normalize that. And that way when they're out in the real world and they're, you know, shooting their shot with a barista or a girl that they're meeting at a dinner party, it's not their first time interacting with a pretty girl. Exactly. And some of these guys have never been in the sphere of a super hot girl. You know, I mean, it just, especially like these kinds of guys that you're talking about, like that engineer, that's probably always been very studious and super smart and highly successful. But he's just not in that world. He wasn't out parting in bars and stuff. You know, so I think it's like amazing that they can have that experience, that exposure therapy to these really hot girls. I think that that helps. It definitely does. And with some of these guys, there's one category of men that I didn't really touch on. But it's like the men who don't want to settle. So usually these are around 37. They're 37 years old. They've built a very impressive career. They do have some dating experience. Their challenge is that they often go for women who are beneath their league, women who they feel very comfortable around because they don't want to be rejected by the 9s and the 10s. So yes, so they have this weird psychology where it's like, I actually do pretty well for myself, just not what the woman I want. That's interesting. So there is that breed of guys. And let me ask you this real quick, because, you know, I'm older, way older than you. And I feel like, because I have these young trainers, like, you know, and young guys around me that I'm friends with, and I just seem, I just feel like there's a massive shift in gender roles as far as like the way people are interacting with each other, women with men, you know, I find, you know, when I was younger, like men were in control. Every woman wanted a relationship and they were being rejected and they were sitting home crying because they couldn't find a fucking date. And all I find from the younger guys that I talk to now, they're all fucking crying, sitting around, can't get a girl to date them. Like there's a shift in women, right? Like, isn't it harder for these guys to find girls to commit to them? I think they have it harder. 100%. My day. 100%. And there's a very simple reason for that. People want to make it about dating apps. Yes, that's part of it. But if we had to consolidate to what is the number one culprit above all else that is behind that, tell me, it's women's financial independence. Interesting. Okay. So because women are out learning and out earning men. And we've seen this trend now for several years and it, like it amplified during COVID where like university campuses were like 70, 80% women. Women have just been on a roll, like professionally. Right. And because now they no longer need a man to survive, they're actually starting to be selective. And not only are they being selective, but you know, instinctually, most women want someone who ideally makes a little more than them. Ideally, you don't always get that. But if we're talking about like just like, let's just wash away all the fluffy stuff and just get back down the basics. Ideally, they are looking for that. That's getting harder and harder and harder to find because men have not grown at the same level. And so now men are like, wait a second, what happened? Why am I no longer attractive? And the woman's just like, I just really want to date someone who's at least at my level, ideally a little better. And because that's what I feel safe with. And there's just so few men who fit into that category. Yeah, that's interesting. Do you believe in the whole animal thing? Like, you know, that we're animals first, but we're also human beings in that we're like, you know, we have brains and we're a little bit more sophisticated, right? But that animal shit is going down at a level sometimes that we don't know. Like I used to always say, you know, I'm sorry, like, because a lot of people give women shit for like liking wealthy guys or powerful guys. And I'm like, I will raise my hand to any day and be like, there's nothing fucking wrong with that. Okay, it's no different than the man who likes young hot women. Okay, exactly. He likes her because she can have his fucking babies and his sperm knows that. And a woman likes a guy with a lot of fucking money in power because she knows he's going to take care of her babies. If I was a cow, okay, as a female cow, I would not be looking at the busted cow that's not doing any work in the field and go after him. I'm going to naturally as an animal go after the most viral, healthy, hardworking cow because the animal in you knows that that's what we're here for. It's just this basic shit. And like I'm saying, it's not like we're ruled by that. But on some level, that is going on. And I don't know why women get so much shit for liking guys with money yet guys don't get shit for liking girls who are hot. I mean, it's the same kind of shallow thing. And if anything, it's more shallow for the man liking the woman because at least a man that's wealthy and successful, he's worked his ass off to be there. Exactly. It's like he wasn't born that way. A hot girl, sometimes she comes out of fucking 10. You know, what does she do? And I don't think there's anything wrong with the guy liking the hot girl either. You know, I'm saying there's nothing wrong with that, but there's nothing wrong with the woman liking the man with a little bit more than her. Okay. And I think that it's a spectrum. So like I have a girlfriend who like her definition of successful is 50 million. And I'm like, where are you going to find that? Like that percent and she's like, that's 2%. That's the top 2%. Literally, we're 33. Do you know how many like how small the pool of 30 year old like 30 something year old man, because she doesn't just want him without much money. She also wants him hot. And I'm like, that is so rare. So and I think that's the that's like the akin to a guy who's 55, who won't date above 25. And I'm like, Oh my God, like, give me a break. But that's not what we're talking about. 25 year old be interested in you. Yeah. So it's a spectrum. Like I think that, you know, a man has the right to date a woman that he's physically attracted to. He's allowed to optimize for that. And I think a woman is also allowed to optimize for like, Hey, I want you at least at my level, ideally making a little more. Yeah. Then I feel like I'm with the man. So totally fair. Yeah. What a red pill guys, like in your email to me, you're like, Oh, we could talk about only fans red pill guys, sugar babies. I want to talk about all that stuff. I don't know what your angle on those things is. I'm curious. But what a red pill guys. I'm so old. I'm out of the game. Like what the fuck is a red pill guy? Yes. You know, the red pill movement started out. I think very powerfully, and it was a very useful movement once in a while time, it started out as a male empowerment movement. So there was a there was a realization in society that men are becoming weaker for about lack of a better word. Yeah. There, let's let's say it from a more positive way. Men were starting to be too feminized. And they were interesting. Okay. No longer holding that masculine polarity that women traditionally love. And you know, a small group of men started to pick up on that. And they started saying, Hey, man, we need to like, change this, we need a man up. Yeah, we need to go back to providing for our women. We need to go back to hitting the gym, you know, showing our physical strength, we need to be more assertive, like we need to be be sure that we are differentiating ourselves from women so that they can continue to be attracted to us and so that we can continue to have that polarity. But again, everything is a spectrum. So what started out as like, guys, get your shit together and man up has turned into this dark movement that, you know, has an underpinning of like women are trash. Women are reserve commitment. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the red pill movement. And that's coming from guys. This is from the guys. Oh, okay. This is coming from the guys. Yeah. So like, if you're on like a traditional red pill podcast, and I have been on one, I was on a really big one, several months back. The idea is that like, if you're above, first of all, if you're above 25, too bad, because you're, you've already expired. You've aged out. You've aged out. Yeah. You've aged out of life by 25. So we already take your opinion less seriously if you're above 25. Okay. And then the second thing is like, why would a man marry you? Like basically this idea that like marriage is only beneficial for women, which by the way, the, the data says the exact opposite. Oh, no, no, it's exact opposite. I'm sorry, but I never got married and I have a kid on my own and I love my fucking life. And that's always the way I wanted. Since I was like five, I never had the desire to really get married. I just always wanted a kid and I always like, and I asked my guy friends, like my guy friends who had to get married and have kids, like, don't you wish you had my life? And they did. They do most a lot of them do, but they couldn't do, they could never have had a baby and had those things that they wanted without that woman taking care of their fucking lives at home. So I think 100% men, men need the women more. I could have a baby on my own. I have a career. I do everything myself. I didn't need a guy to do that, but I'm sorry, but I think the guy needs the girl more for all that. No, they know that's exactly what the data says. So men live longer when they're married. They have much lower rates of heart disease. They make more money. They report much higher levels of sexual satisfaction. Everything I just listed out for you, except for the heart disease, is the inverse for married women. And the category that has it worst are Asian women. Oh, really interesting. I saw a really funny thing on Instagram and I sent it to some of my poor married friends, but it was kind of funny. And I'm not against marriage. Like, seriously, I have a sister who's like, white picket fence want to be here. And I love her life. Like, that's what I just think. Whatever you want, you should have it. You know what I'm saying? I just knew what I wanted, but it was a whole thing. This is woman saying, really studies have shown that the happiest people are married men and single women. And single women. Yeah. Did you see that clip on? Yeah, I know that. Yeah. It was so funny. And I was like, it's kind of true. Sometimes I feel so bad for my married women who are older, have kids, you know, it's just like they're always just being of service to everybody, but themselves, you know, and they really lose themselves. I was talking to a woman the other day who had found out her husband had this serious fetish and he was really like not sort of owning up. And I was like, trying to tell her to do something that would make him quote unquote mad. And she's like, I can't make him mad. I'm like, are you what the fuck is your problem? Like, you know, it's like you had, she just had no voice, you know, and so many women find themselves in that role, you know, when they're married, you know, they just, they have that certain role and it's kind of beneath the man and they don't have a voice and they can't speak up and God forbid they make their, I'm like, you can't make him mad. Like, what's going to happen? Like a big fucking deal. But it was like no way, not even a part of her thing. And in my day, you had to be that kind of woman if you were going to get married. Like, no man wanted a girl like me. Like, I'm like, you know, so it's just the way that it is. And I think a lot of women unfortunately give up a lot to be in long term marriages sometimes. You know, I think it's changing. I think girls like you and younger girls, it's a very different world, you know, and I think you're dating and marrying guys that aren't expecting you to do that. But, you know, but years ago in my generation, it just, it was a totally different story. And thank God it's changing, you know, because I'm sure you just got married. I saw on your Instagram, you just got married. Yeah. And I've set up a lot of guardrails in my marriage with the help of my husband so that I don't turn into someone who's completely lost her sense of self. So we've had to have a lot of, a lot of conversations around like, what support is required at home? How does work get split? What do I need to feel like myself? Like, it's, yeah. And how is it going to look when you have babies? Because that's going to totally change the game. Exactly. That's true. And but what's amazing is that people your age talk about these things, you know, in my day, it wasn't even something you could even bring up, you know. And so for me, the only option I had was not to get fucking married because I wanted to have those conversations Yeah, it was either shut the fuck up and do whatever and but or and see it right and have it the way I did it or, you know, go and lose your voice and lose yourself and have it the way that most women do. And that's just listen, I'm never saying it's 100% one way, right? You have these right. Of course. But it's typically I just think it's so great though that you can have those conversations with your guy and you chose to be in a relationship, but you're doing it in a very different way, you know, and that's the younger generation. It's so great that things are changing for sure. Up next, it's bread flare and his new band. Oh my god, I'm back again. On the back of the scene, oh, everybody's been gonna bring new games going to show you now. New game party. Find new dropping hits every week. Find the new slots. I'm back. 18 plus be gambler where it's at all. That's right. How did you meet? I mean, imagine like, you know, like, how did you meet your guy? And like, when do you tell him you're like a dating coach? Like, I feel like it might be a little intimidating because he's like, Oh no, she's going to be fucking analyzing me like crazy. Do you know what I mean? Like, how do you know? You know, it's funny. I feel that my now husband never felt or thought that and that's probably why it worked. Oh, interesting. Because every person, I mean, I only dated one person before him when I like while being a dating coach. Okay. But I remember like trying to to delay answering the question for as long as possible. Yeah. First date with my last partner because I really didn't want to get into it. I find, yeah, like I said, I find that guys who flinch by it are just not, they're just not going to work because I'm strong. Yeah. Cause I'm, I'm, and you know this because you're a strong woman and I can tell you're dominant. Like if you need someone at your level. So if I sense even the smallest like, Oh, now he's insecure, like it's just not going to work. So, yeah. So yeah, it never crossed his mind. Honestly, he used to be a business coach who like helped people like me scale their companies. So if anything, it led to a very interesting business conversation around like the size of my company and what I'm doing to scale. And like, that's what he was interested in. Oh, what a perfect guy for you. That's perfect. Exactly. Yeah. That totally makes sense. What did you want to talk about only fans and sugar babies? Yeah, I wanted to get into that. Yeah, please. So I was kind of telling you like, and this will segue nicely after what you said about like, Oh, I appreciate how your generation is having these conversations. What's interesting is that the dating market, in my opinion, has never been so polarized. So there are so like in your day, it sounds like more or less there was a program and you either got with the program or you opted out. Totally. Now it's not like that. Now it's like there are two opposite extremes. Choose your side. Oh, really? So on the on one side of the spectrum, there's what me and my husband have, which is like this mismatch of like, not mismatch, what's the word? Yeah, it's like this, it's like this mashup between modern stuff, like modern beliefs and traditional beliefs. So like modern beliefs are like, look, I'm not going to be a full-time homemaker. I'm not interested in that. I want to have a career. But traditionally, but like some traditional stuff makes in there as well, where it's like, Hey, when I'm pregnant, I'd like the option to take off of work and focus on kids. Yeah, I love that. And like we we've been able to have those conversations and reach this place that is a mix of both. But what I find most often is that people are pretty split into two. So on the one hand, you have tradwives. Have you heard of tradwives? I have. But can you explain? So tradwives are traditional wives. They are usually like the ones that I'm talking about, which are the ones that gained a lot of internet popularity. They're usually in their 20s. So they're very young. They basically have surrendered their desire to have a career. So ironically, they are content creators. So it's kind of hard to say that they don't have a career because they kind of do. They have a career out of saying that they don't have a career. Yeah, totally. But they are just like your typical traditional life. So like they're they wear very traditional dresses. They get they put makeup on every day. They wear heels. They cook everything from scratch. They do not look at the finances. They've kind of surrendered all of that to the man. He's the head of the house. So he decides where the money goes. He decides what they're eating for dinner that night. And she's just there to serve right the husband and the children in return for him providing and protecting. So there's that's a movement now that has gained a lot of popularity. And I'm not for it at all. I think it's very dangerous. I think that there are aspects of it that are beautiful that we can take away. Like I think it's really beautiful to serve your man sometimes. Like there's days where I'm just like I'm too tired, like just order something. And then there are days where I'm like, you know what, I kind of feel like cooking you something. And but but but having options to me is very important. So they've basically removed the option to have options. That's that that's just the standard. The standard is I maintain the house. I cook for you. I take care of you. You make all the decisions. Yeah. And so that's one hand. And on the other hand of the spectrum, you have like the hardcore like, I don't want to call them yeah, I mean, feminist like on the hardcore feminists that have taken feminism into it into a direction I don't know that it was ever intended to go or these are only fan sugar babies. Exactly. Exactly. Like I make my own money. I dance on the internet naked. Like I'm an empowered I'm a sexually liberated woman. And it's like they're both two sides in my opinion of the same point. Yeah, I could see where you're coming from about that because they both need men. Like they both curated a life that still heavily depends on men. Yes. And they both put themselves in my opinion in a disempowered position. So like I have friends. Well, I have a friend to be specific who used to do only fans at one point. And I saw the psychological damage that it did to her. I saw her suffer a lot when she first of all, I saw her get screwed over by people because people in that industry are very shady. I saw her get managed by a man who ran away with all the money. I saw her partner with this other girl and also, you know, go through the exact same thing. I saw her enter a beautiful new relationship with a man who found out months later and then they almost broke up. So like I saw the repercussions of her decisions. And I think a lot of women, if given the choice, would not do only fans. They don't say that in interviews. But I mean, I think if you were to hand them a million dollars and say, you can stop now, they'd be like, fuck, yeah, I'm not doing that again. Right. So right. It takes a certain kind of person that can do it. Same with sugarbeaves. Like, you know, no woman should be sort of compromising herself or doing something with a man if she, you know, is not that attractive to them, you know what I'm saying? Like just for the cash. I agree. And it takes again, a very special woman, woman who can do that and not make it her entire being like I actually did have a friend as well, who is extremely affluent, extremely successful now on a completely different career, who was able to do it for a very short, short stint in her 20s. Yeah. And make it work. And somehow kept herself emotionally detached, at least on the outside. Yeah. I've talked to those women too. And I believe that they exist. But I, you know, unfortunately, it's like the 90, 10 ruler, the 80, 20, I don't know how you want it. Like the majority of people probably won't be able to deal. Same with the nominogamy. I talked to tons of people that are nominogamy. And plenty of them do it successfully. And I love showing that to people because I think most people think it could never fucking work, but it can. But I don't know that the majority of people would ever even want that in their life. I get that, you know, but there is a percentage of people that do and they do it well. You know, and I think whether it's stripping or sugar baby or being a courtesan, I've had like a couple of them on from the ranch that call in some women know how to, you know, take it by the balls and make it work for them. And they're just a certain kind of person. And then some women, it's not, you know, and I just think, you know, at that point, it's like, know thyself, you know, if you're starting to feel not fucking right about, get out. So listen, why don't you give a shout out for like all the guys that maybe want to take your course. You also work with women, right? Like if women, I mean, do you still work with women or just strictly men? Yeah, the way that I work with women is I pair you with my male clients for practice dates and you get paid to do it. That's interesting. Yes. And I only work with single women because usually, like, there's the possibility that you might actually be attracted to that man. And then there might even be a match in there for you. So the way that it works is like, have you had hookups? Are you like a matchmaker slash coach? Yeah, I actually have had several matches be made of it. Love that. And so, yeah, the way it works is you come in, you fill out a form, you tell us exactly what you're looking for. And we'll do our absolute best to pair you with a client who matches what you're looking for. If we don't have someone in store who does, then in the very least, you're so helping and emotionally aware, you know, young, you know, young middle age, whatever old bachelor, sharpen his dating skills, and you're getting paid for your time. So that's worst case scenario. And then best case scenario, you're getting paid basically to match with someone that you'd wanted me in the real world. Women love it. It helps them be a lot more intentional about how they date and they love meeting men who are doing the work. And it's practice for them. It's practice. Exactly. I think that's awesome. Okay. And then for the men? I recommend following me on Instagram. I'm very active there at Elsa Morrick. Okay. Morck. I post pretty much every single day. So I would say just start with my Instagram. Okay. And I also have a book called Dating for Men that you can check out and then go from there. But how do they hire you? Well, if they want to hire me, they need to go and do an interview with one of my dating advisors. Okay. So if you go to my Instagram and you, yeah, so step one is go to my Instagram, step two, click the link in bio. You can also just go to ChooseDon'tChase.com. Okay. So ChooseDon'tChase.com. My program is called Chasers to Choosers. That's turning nice guys who chase women into confident men who choose their pick. So ChooseDon'tChase.com. You can fill out a quick form and then be set up on a call with my dating advisor. And then together, y'all can decide. And now real quick, last question. Do people have to be in a certain area to do this? Is this a virtual thing? Nope. It's all virtual. Right, of course. Okay. Yeah, it's all virtual. The when, you know, when people graduate my first level program and continue on to our advanced program, which a lot of people do. Yeah. At that point, we actually do meet in person for events. So I host two events a year for my graduate students. We just did one in LA. It was super fun. Okay. So we literally just wrapped that this weekend. But yeah, at first it's all virtual. So anywhere you are on the world. Okay, love that. So I'm going to put the link to your Instagram on, right? Should I put that link and then or to the show your website, whatever you want me to put the links to. Let's do Instagram. Okay. People can check out my content first. Yeah, you have a people can see how hot you are, right? And then they're going to give you a lot of tips. You have a lot of tips on there and a lot of good videos. You're not just like trying to get people to sign up for something like you're giving like real advice on there, right? They'll find that. And then if they want to go and hire you and get some practice, they could click on the link that is in your Instagram. Yeah, I love it. Okay, listen, I'm going to steal some pics of you to put on my Patreon. So my Patreon members can see how hot you are. Everybody else is going to have to go to your Instagram to see it. Listen, Elsa, thanks for calling in. I loved your information. You sound super smart. I love what you're doing. And I hope some of my listeners come and sign up for your program. Likewise, I really enjoyed the conversation. Awesome. Thanks, Elsa. Thanks so much. I'll email you when your episode is going to go up. Okay. Sounds good. Okay, cool. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them, they're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in e-back format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the e-book, or the paperback. Send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. That's strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com and I will send you the link to discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the strictly anonymous podcast. What a scream. We installed telephone wires across rural Britain over a century ago and you're still paying to use them for your broadband today. If it ain't broke, what? Stop. Your days of selling phone age broadband are over. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story, there's a cuck queen story, there's a cuck story, there's a gang being girl story, like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book, think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them, they're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in e-back format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint. There's no way you'd get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the e-book, or the paperback. Send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com and I will send you the link to discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.