C03 - Ep. 33 - From On Hyra - Seventh Inning Dretch

The Stinky Dragon Vinyl is here! For the month of March, we're dropping the first ever Stinky Dragon Vinyl album! This limited edition record happens to feature all of your favorite hits like Step Into the Stinky Dragon, Introducing the Infinites, Sleek Symphony, and even the high-octane Smarsh is still king! It's the ultimate way to experience the saga of the Infinites in glorious analog. I'm so excited you get a physical piece of media, but don't wait. When it's gone, it's gone. Go order yours now at store.stinkydragonpod.com. Grab yours before the music stops. Do you remember that feeling of your first critical hit? Or are you one of those people who are getting ready to start that journey? Well, I have a show for you. It's called Girls Who Don't D&D because none of this all-female team of players has ever joined a D&D game before or any other role-playing game. They go from learning which dice is what to challenging the gods themselves. They're surrounded by a beautiful, chaotic environment that's been described as a cross between Terry Pratchett's Discworld and Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. And it's a world you can be part of, too. That's because their listeners perform pre-recorded sections that fit into each show. Those parts and the rest of the show sound amazing with carefully added music and effects that bring a touch of the cinematic to your experience. It's kind of cool how they're complete amateurs when they started and they really progress. I think you can probably, you know, we can relate to that with Tales from the Stinky Dragon starting off kind of as newbies and then really learning the game as we go. I think that's a great way to approach it. And you can join this group of unassuming Australians, otherwise known as the Girls Who Don't D&D, on any device that lets you stream podcasts. But I'm warning you, this one's addictive, heartwarming, heartbreaking, and very, very funny. Afternoon, all you ancient titans. Stomp or swim into the stinky dragon and sip on our latest libation, Nectar of the Gods, child. It's a mixture of a torrent of telepathy-tested tap water, a brew of booming battle-born tea leaves, a sprinkling of primordial powdered sugar, a lashing of painfully puckered lemonade, and finally topped with a sprig of stunning mint and a slice of reality-altering orange. One sip of this celestial sipper and you'll have advantage on never being too far out of reach. Previously, our adventurers Doug and Munther dove down a dank drain, but their deliberate detour delivered a dilemma at a drainage divide. The desired metallic musk was smelt to the left, yet a suspicious shout sounded from the right. B-Team befriended the brothers of Toll, Tio and Neo. They were attacked by dreadful dretches who feed their thaumatech bodies, heads, and armor. So B-Team braved the musty minds of Sora's Sump in search of the dretches' den. But have they bitten off more than they can chew? grab a guzzler and let's get back to this gassy cause hello everyone welcome to tales from the stinky dragon i'm your dungeon master gustavo sorola and i'm hitting our four players with an arrow fair that's that's natty shooting it out of the sky with her with her eldritch blasts classic natty all right this week's question is if you could master one skill which would you pick and why and that's submitted by doug boone all right everyone go and roll a question yeah doug it is everyone go and roll a d20 one eight six 17 so 17 8 6 1 shout out to uh our patreon member doug boone love love doug boone i don't remember who the people are because i'm a big nerd all i remember are numbers all right so mr 17 you're up first hello i'm mr 17 no i'm 17 mr 17 is my father hi i'm john reisinger and i play natty wonder who is a drow warlock uh mother drag queen and saint just a nice gal if i was able to master one skill i would say i mean there's a lot of skills that i'd like to master i love getting better at stuff but at the top of my mind right now as far as importance is I would master the skill of the magical control of time so that I can cast a spell to go back in time to move my auto harp into a different slot in my inventory so that when that dadgum you know group of folks who I'm part of their cult now asked me to sacrifice something and wouldn't have been maybe the most important thing in my inventory you could also write a song about it and you know no but they can't write a song because they don't have their auto harp yeah oh so yeah it's funny that that natty says the most important thing in her inventory is the auto harp and not giggy interesting he's not in my inventory what are you talking about not in your inventory what would he be in my inventory. You lost Giggy. This is in my heart. Where's Giggy in my inventory? Well, then don't be making up lies and then gaslighting me like I'm saying something crazy. Alright, I want to change my answer. I'd like to master the skill of not being gaslit by our dungeon master. And I'd like to master the skill of gaslighting. Alright, thank you, Natty. I promise I'll stop gaslighting you. Yeah, you never said that. What? Alright, I believe we had eight next. That's me. Hey, it's your good friend, Blaine Gibson. It's me Torv. What? No? Someone doesn't agree with that? No? And, uh, yoo-hoo, I play Torv, the male Thaumatech barbarian, level six. And, uh, Gustago, if I had to master a skill, it would be the, uh, the craft of performance art. You know, like acting. You know, I want to be like a bard, like a barbarian bard, a barbarian, similar to like a Dave Bautista or John Cena or Dwayne the Rock Johnson. You know, I just I just want to act, you know, and unfortunately, I have this huge hulking body that makes me good for killing. So that makes me a barbarian. What's the name of the guy that that played the president in Running Man? Wasn't that also like a wrestler? The president in Running Man. Yeah, he had to then go and fight And be a gladiator in the Running Man Oh, you're talking about Jesse Ventura He wasn't the president But he was a wrestler He was a past performer On the Running Man He's the governor of Minnesota The Baja Dude, I love Jesse Ventura Don't even get me started on Jesse Ventura That guy's a nut I'm just asking if I actually got that correct Did I name the right muscle man? Yeah, well yeah I got one Great example of a barbarian. Yeah. See, I'm interested in your culture, Blaine. Yeah. Do I multi-class? Is that what I got to do now? Yeah, absolutely. Let's do it. Finally, one of you. I dare you. All right. Well, level us up, coward. Watch him do it. This episode brought to you by coffee. No, don't give us more levels, Gus. No. Taste me. All right. Thanks, Blaine. Next up, I believe, was Barbara with a six? It was. Correct. Very good job, Gus. Inspiration died of you gaslight him more i've already got one i don't he does no you don't get out of here well hello everyone i'm barbara donkelman professional gaslighter and also player of doug boone the artificer bugbear and uh you know i actually have mastered quite a few skills not to brag or anything like that but spend a lot of time like learning and building and doing a lot of things with my hands but the one thing i don't know how to do and i really i just i'm all I just like Butterfingers when I try to do it is play a musical instrument. And I feel like, you know, if Doug maybe learned the guitar or the piano or something like that, he'd really impress people around him. People aren't really as impressed with my intellectual abilities as much as, you know, they are with the art. So, oh, I'd like to maybe learn a musical instrument. Maybe Natty could help me with her art or harp or something like that. It's a bit of a sore spot, but Oh, yeah. I mean, music is essentially like really fancy math with cool sounds. You put it that way. I want to learn even more. There you go. We can make this happen. Absolutely. We can be a little duet. Can you give us a little ditty right now, Bard? Doug? Can you give us a little ditty right now, Doug? That was my music. That sounded like a song. That's when someone's playing Mario Kart and gets off the track, but just keeps going and gets on the track eventually. Yeah, yeah. That's all, folks. No. I love that I'm Barbara, and I had a character named Bart who was a bard, and that was designed on purpose to confuse people, and it did its job just now after three campaigns. Like three years later, it got me. We just filmed Baldur's Gate 3 as the Infinites. Yeah. Like an hour ago. Don't do Bart's voice. Give me a little ditty right now. Yeah. Quiet. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, dong, ding, ding. See, I can't play it. That sounded like Depeche Mode. Was that Don't Let Me Down Again? What's that song, you guys? Never Let Me Down Again. Yeah. I know. I just play some random tunes there. It sounded like the little piano they play at the Rugrats theme song. Was that like a calliope or something? So talented. No, that's definitely some new wave action going on. I mean, anyway, I'll buy the record. For sale now at store.sinkydragonpod.com. As soon as we get the Tollbeard back in stock, we're going to have Doug's album on there. All right. Thanks. That's a promise. That's a promise. 100% promise. All right. Thanks, Barbara. Next up with one, I believe it's Christopher. Yeah. Hey, I'm Chris. I play Gunther, the level six male quote, quote, fighter. And a skill that I wish I could try. I tried so hard when I was younger. It's very challenging, but it is very impressive when you do it. It is called tongue rope. and it is where you use your tongue and you spit it out and then you jump, jump, jump, jump, jump. And I always trip. For the first time, I imagined what it would be like to have like an eight foot long tongue. And the idea hurts to think about. Like imagine your tongue just like, ah. Where would it roll up into? Yeah. But do you mean it's like a jump robot with your tongue? Yes. Where do you store it? In my mouth. It is right here. I use it now to speak. How do you have any room for anything else in your mouth when you got an eight foot long tongue rolled up in you? Well, I can sometimes feed food. Eat food? Do you ever choke on your tongue? Eat food. Feed food in my mouth with the tongue. Wow. Yeah, so I could try the jump. Listen, I'll show you how bad I am. It's just licking everything in the room. You also have teeth marks all over your tongue. Might eat a lot. Yeah, it's a challenging skill. And I wish I could do it because it is so impressive. World's worst fruit roll up. All right. We'll see who masters their skill first. Ready, go. To be or not to be. All right. Thanks, Gunther. Appreciate that. Doug, go take a look at the overturned mine cart. Yeah. What do you want to do? Like, you want to look under it, see what it's covering? I assume, like, without having to lift it, if it's something that's, like, made of a few pieces, there's probably cracks I could peek into to see if there's anything under it. Yeah, that makes sense. Without actually, like, releasing anything that might be under there. Yeah, make me an investigation check. I have a plus four. That is a nine, so that's a 13. 13, yeah. You go up, and yeah, there's a, you know, a small hole punched in the side of the mine car, probably from years of use. And, you know, you put your eye up to it and take a look inside, and you see some tools. You see a hand drill and a pickaxe in there and what appear to be some various chunks of metal. Oh. Actually, this stuff might be kind of useful. And as you're looking at it and you turn to convey that to your party, the minecart gets overturned, and three armored dredges jump out from under the minecart. That's a farce. Monster card! Yeah, holding up weapons and menacing you all. Everyone go and roll initiative. Oh, God. Fight! Fight! Fight! the dretches burst out from under the mine cart so everyone go ahead and roll initiative 17 8 30 20 11 my last one was like 18 was rest in peace 18 is at the end of the last episode i Yeah, well, it's last episode. This is the now. Get with it, Gunther. The dredges rolled a four, so they are last initiative. Suckers. They're down in the dredges. All right, Natty, you see these three hideous creatures threatening your friend Doug. What do you want to do? All right, so there's three of them, and they are gathered up together because they were under that minecart? Yeah, they were huddled under that minecart, so they're all pretty clustered together. Okay, well, first, a little panache. Now he's going to use her elemental gift of flight. Ooh. And what's so funny about that, Blaine Gibson? Because we're in a cave, and you're just going to go, whoop! Yeah, I was going to ask, how tall is the room we're in right now? That is a great question. I'll reread the room description, which I probably should have done when we started here. You are in a round cavern with an overturned minecart, And there's child-sized burrows dug throughout the room and a giant centipede corpse that was blocking your path when you first came into the cavern here. So it's pretty big. It's a pretty big round cavernous room. Hallpark on height? Let's say 20 feet. Yeah, so Natty goes up to maximum height. Now she has Overwatch. And let's bring out Natty Online. Natty Online. Let's bring our oldie goldie and cast a moat of hell. Woo-hoo! Yeehaw! We're then pirates when we need them. Yar, let's not be doing that again. Oh, man. Literally. As a reminder, I manifest a pocket of hell that is 15 feet. It's a sphere. I imagine I could do that with getting all three of them in there and not Douglas. And they get blinded. Yeah. Okay, yeah. They do get blinded and are blinded while they're still in it. And they also take some damage. A creature who starts their turn in this area takes 3d6 fire damage. A creature who ends their turn in that area must succeed in the wisdom saving throw. And then if they fail that, they take more damage. And since they're blinded, last time we did it, I think, Gus, they had to, like, do a little roll to see if they could get out. Yeah, yeah. But let's deal with this damage first, I think, right? Yeah, 3d6s of fire. Do they get a save or anything on that? No, sir. Sorry. Oh, they do it when they start their turn. You want to do it then? Yeah. Or I could just do it now, since we're talking to me. I'm going to do it now. Five, five, three, 13. Have you considered a moat of heaven? No. So it looks like they only save if they end their turn in there. If they end their turn there, they do that wisdom saving throw, and then if they fail that, they take psychic damage. Right, but they don't get a save on the start of their turn. No, they do not. They just take damage. All right, well, that's yet another broken spell for Natty Wonder. All right, so yeah, hold on to that for now, and at the start of their turn, they're going to have a bad time. Okay. And once again, Mr. Gigglesworth is going to approach the edge of hell and stand there waiting to try to nick somebody in the ankles if they come out. I'm just standing by it going, hee. Yeah. I feel like it's like a dog at your front door when you hear someone outside who's coming home. It's like, oh, it's like all excited, ready. A hundred percent. Tail wagging. A hyperactive Pomeranian holding an axe. What a cute baby. Mm-hmm. All right, you got anything else for us, Natty? Or is that it for you and Gigi? That'll be it. All right. And he won't do any action, but Captain Grumbles will yell some stuff at those guys. Make me a, let's call it a wisdom check for Captain Grumbles. Oh, no. This is where we lose him. Four? You don't know this, but a cold shiver runs down Captain Grumbles' spine as he sees a motor hell manifest in front of him. Because he's a zombie? he's got he doesn't know why but something's not right with that thing in his past life yeah it's like he experienced it before oh he's he was i forgot he was literally in it i was thinking because he was dead oh yeah he's born from this yeah in a way molded by it douglas or doug sorry you're up it's catching calling me by my government name Douglas Furboon So Natty cast Mode of Hell around the three Yeah, probably not the thing I should have done at the top of combat so no one can see them Wondering about that So if y'all just want to maybe take a little breather or ready something You can take your time Decide where you want to stand in the room You got all the time What happens if you cast Firebolt into the moat of hell, because I could see where the moat is, I assume. It's not area of effect. It says you hurl a moat of fire at a creature or object within range, and the range is 120 feet, so that's not a problem. Make a ranged spell attack against the target on a hit, the character takes damage. So, I think in this case, the way I would work this is you would make your ranged spell attack, but you would do so at disadvantage, because you can't actually see them, so that's the way it would probably work. Well, I'm going to hold off on that then, and instead, I'm going to cast Guidance on... Am I close enough to touch Gunther? Yeah, you can make that happen. Okay. I'm going to cast Guidance on Gunther, which means... D4? Add a D4. Oh, it's ability checks, though. I always forget. It's still good if they get attacked. Yeah. You never know. Gunther might want to do a backflip or something cool, something groundbreaking that we've never seen in our campaign before. That sounds sick. That sounds dope. That sounds cool. Okay. I'll do a barrel roll. There it is. And then I'll also bring out Gambot and just, like, pop out in front of me. Some additional protection. All right. That's it for Doug. Next up, we got Gunther. Gunther wants to do a defensive backflip. Oh, he was ready. Defensive backflip. Yeah. I have in mind what that is. Can you describe that for us, though, just to see if we're on the same page? Yeah. Okay. Defensive backflip, obviously, is where he pulls out a sword and shield, does a backflip, so that he lands shield facing the enemy and then readies an attack for whenever they come out. Okay. Do you want me to roll for it? Yeah, why don't you go ahead and make a... What would you call that? Acrobatics? Yeah, make that an acrobatics check for me, Gunther. A one. Oh, my God. But add your d4. So it's a one plus eight plus a nine. 11 with everything yeah the spirit of kyborg must be here somehow with that one but uh yeah with an 11 you feel him with an 11 you don't manage you manage to at least land on your feet it's not the most graceful thing I think it's like the thing you do when you're a little kid you do something like you jump and you think it's really far and really cool from an outside perspective it's like whatever it's like you just kind of jump and do a backflip and land unsteadily on your feet he thought he did a backflip but all he did was twirl around and in place. I love it. He kind of leaned to the right and thought he did it, but all he did was just kind of turn himself around. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm ready. Sounds about right. Defense. And that's it. Oh, that's it? Waiting for them, readying to attack as they emerge. Cole, what do you want to do? Gunther is showing off some serious skills over there. Yoo-hoo. Yeah, I mean, I feel like we got this thoroughly covered, so why not play around a little? You know, let's play in this space. So I want to walk up to the edge of the mode of hell. And you know, earlier I said I wanted to become an actor. Okay, so I'm going to try that now. I'm going to lay prone on the ground, close my eyes, stick my tongue out. And then I'm going to make them believe through acting that I am dead. And when they come out, I'll kill them. Thoughts? Thoughts, everybody? No, I love it. It's a feint. Yes. Like F-E-I-N-T. Oh, I thought it was like, good heavens, what a great performance, Tov, you deserve the Oscar. Okay, well anyways, that's what I do and then I hold my attack. Were you expecting applause or something? Yes this is my acceptance speech I like to thank the Academy What your motivation Cole Oh oh oh let me see I wearing the dead skin of my I wearing the corpse Now I must embrace the corpse, okay? I must believe that I am dead man. Wake up, dead man. Beautiful. But for a little show for my friends, you know, based on the faint thing, I will go, oh! I love it. All right, is that it for you, Toll? Yeah, Trolls, give me a performance check to see how effective this is and whether or not it'll be considered for your performance by the Academy. Ooh la la, my first break. That is a... That's not bad. That is a six. I think I nailed it, guys. Not bad. Not good, though. No. Benedict Cumberbatch doesn't have anything to worry about next year at the Academy Awards. You'll be fine. Thanks, Toll. You're welcome. And now with that, I believe it's time for some hell. Yeah, now they take 13 points of fire damage. Woo! If only there was a fire bolt in there, too. Everyone's been kind of waiting and staying at the edge of this moat of hell. But, you know, the moat finally manifests itself with a blast of brimstone and heat radiating out, incinerating everything inside for 13 points of damage. And what happens? It doesn't just go off, right? Like the moat stays there? Yeah. Okay. The moat activates and nothing steps out of it. Are they immediately just dead? I don't know. Well, I can ask. Should I be rolling for a wisdom check and psychic damage? Let's roll it. You have to roll for a wisdom check. I said let's. Then roll. A creature ends their turn and that iron must succeed on a wisdom saving throw. I rolled a one. You rolled a one. Is that a success or? Tolve opens one eye and says, are they still in there? Are they coming out? Shh, shh, shh. Come back to that. They're still trying to do his backflip. Hold on, hold on. They failed. That was a roll for all of them? Yeah. Let's do them all as a group. It's only three. Okay. 3D6 psychic damage as the voices of the damned crowd their minds. You know, sometimes I listen to this podcast and something scary happens in my ear and it freaks me out IRL. That's going to be that moment for everybody. Way to go, Chris. You did it. Sorry. That's good. Yeah. 14 points psychic damage. Ooh. Ooh la la. Yeah, still no motion. Nothing emerges from hell. Shall I go in and look for them? Natty, how long until the moat wears off? Is it like an hour or two? I can stay still. Well, I'm a good actor. Watch. It's all dependent upon my concentration. I could drop it if you think there might be a mystery afoot. If we take Natty out of her concentration. I can just end my concentration. Y'all just need to talk to each other. Concentrate on my performance. I don't know how you can concentrate on anything while Tolva talking to you, to be honest. Acting. Natty will drop her concentration. Mode of hell is gone. Right as you drop your concentration, a foot steps out of the mode of hell. Not attached to anything, just a foot. Oh, no! Is it a hairy, green, dredge foot? It's a, yeah, a disgusting, hairy, green, pustule-filled foot. And you drop your moat of hell, and you see what used to be three armored dretches lying in a pile in the middle. Did I one-shot these guys? Yeah, pretty much. Tolve admires them. Oh, they're good. I think they were just too scared of Gigi. They're better than you, Tolve. Wow. I'm sorry. I have to vote for them for the best performance. Speaking of Gigi, Gigi does start chewing on that one piece of foot. He needed something. He needed something. Like, you know, like a little dachshund who's got a toy and just like, just like shakes it around. Love it. There's like a squeak in there. Yeah, can Gunther look around and see if there's anything that remains of them worthwhile? It's in Gigi's mouth. Yeah, make an investigation check. I do an investigative backflip. Let us eat. God. Gunther. How'd that go? What was that roll? uh it was a it was a two cool see i feel right on part a cardboard oh i feel them in this room well that was just for the investigation but the backflip i didn't do yet do you want me to do a backflip yeah yeah yeah yeah let's do it here it comes 12 not bad oh i rolled a four i have an eight to acrobatics yeah that's real bad yeah once again it's like it's it's a little better but you're still just doing that thing where you close your eyes jump in place and spin around as opposed to actually doing a flip. You're turning on the wrong axis, but you think you're doing great. You do your investigative backflip and turn to face the remains of the armored dretches, and there's not much left other than those bluish-gray metallic pieces that they had covering them. Oh. Wouldn't that be pieces of, like, the Thaumatech? Yeah, is that similar to the metal that we found in Natty's New Church? Yes, it looks nearly identical. Can we, I mean, I'm sure that this is going to be a mystery that unravels throughout the episode. But, yeah, is this Neo's parts? Because he was missing his armor. It's the same color, right? He's missing his body. Yeah, he, oh, wait, no, one of them, T.O. Yeah, okay, yeah, he was missing, like, his outer bits. T.O.'s missing body, Neo's missing body. Yeah, in the last episode, one of you, whoever had the piece, offered it to T.O. And then Neo grabbed it and started, like, trying to reattach it to his body. Okay. Could Doug go pick up all the pieces? Absolutely. We can call them Neopets. How long have you been waiting to make that joke? Your whole life? Inspiration die. No, no, no. I stand by the lack of Inspiration die for that one. I stand by that. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, John. could Doug also determine by picking up all these pieces if he could cohesively make it into what he perceives as missing from one or both of the siblings make an intelligence check 18 Yeah, you think you're missing a significant amount of pieces. It's like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle with only a fraction of the pieces. You find parts that fit together, but other parts that don't seem to fit anywhere. But you can make some decent progress with how these all are supposed to go together. Okay. Yeah. Could I then just put it in my inventory and collect them? Yeah, I hate collecting missions in video games. The worst. Does it matter? I don't know if I need to write down a number of how many pieces I have, or is it just pieces? Just write pieces. then over your head the numbers 2 slash 18 appear. That's it? Oh, man. We're going to have to murder a lot of dredges. Time to go farming. Yeah. All right. Well, I guess just be careful if you lift any mine carts up in here. But the question is, how do we get around this giant caterpillar thing? Centipede. Centipede thing. It's dead, right? It's dead. Yeah, yeah. We just go over it. Yeah, you can just kind of shove it and get around it. Tolv would stand up and dust himself off and then bow. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And scene. Yeah, he pulls his hand in front of his face. Scene. My flight lasts for 10 minutes and I can just hover. Can I just keep that going for 10 minutes? Yeah, sure. Okay. Someday we need to attach some string to Natty's foot and pretend like they're a balloon. It's like a disguise, you know? Oh, yeah. Is that how Giggy is traveling? Is Giggy just like holding onto his harness? Giggy's just walking on the ground, holding onto Mama. With his mom balloon. Love it. That's adorable. Okay, we're going back to our dungeon maze mechanic. And correct me if I'm wrong, Doug, I believe you were the one who drew this monster card and triggered this? I believe so, yeah. Since you made an intelligence check to put this stuff back together, Doug, I want you also to make me a survival check as well. Okay, can do. 19. Oh, that's really good. Okay, as you're collecting and putting together these pieces of blue-gray metal, you find a few other smaller pieces that lead off down one of the tunnels in front of you, which you feel like is kind of leading you in the correct path you need to go. Guys, I have a feeling that this is the correct path we need to go, and I found more pieces down this way. Follow the leader. Good job, Doug. All right, so that means next up would be Toll. Yes, I will pursue pitfalls. Wisdom. That would be Peruse, but sure. Peruse pitfalls. Micah, Micah, Micah. You don't have to do that. You reveal two cards in the river. You choose one to discard and shuffle the two remaining cards and place them face down in the river. Yes, that's the one. All right. Wisdom check? Yeah, make me a wisdom check. Ooh, that's a nat 20, baby. What is that, like an 18? No, I have a plus zero. Thank you very much. Zesty Gus is here. Now I will pursue this path. All right. You pursue the path. Which two cards do you want to reveal? It's not mean when I embrace the insults. Yes. It's so good that we figured out a way to make a living being idiots because we're so good at that. We might as well get paid to do it. Oh, man. I'm actually a scientist on the side. Yeah. Blaine's hobby is science. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Which cards do you want to reveal here? My job is beach. I mean, that energy is us, Barbara. That energy is us. We are all Ken's. Yes. There's three cards to choose from, correct? For the different paths? Okay. What is the left and the right cards reveal? Oh, you sure about that? Okay. Left and center, left and center. Left and center or left and right? Left and right. Okay, left and right. You evaluate the dangers ahead and do a little bit of reconnaissance and scouting. And you feel, you ascertain that going either to the left or the right would both lead you on the correct path. Oh. That makes no sense. Geographically speaking, what are we talking about? It's like fork. What's in the center? You didn't peruse that one. A Dairy Queen. You can still go to the center if you want. So basically, Blaine, you can just pick one of those, put it back down, and just take that path. Mmm. Mmm. You. Boom. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Left. It sounds like Mario every time. Left, left, left. Yeah, I'll put one down, and I guess. Yeah. Wait, so I. What happens is you pick one and then shuffle the other two. You choose one to discard. Yeah, that's what I do. So you're discarding left. I discard center. Is that possible? No. But you know that there now is a correct path in the river. Yeah. We're just discarding one of those and then shuffling the other ones. All right. Sure. So you still have to pick left, center, or right. Left. So he just made our chances worse. Yeah, I guess so. That's not true. That's not true. I'm a scientist. Go left. Is that your final answer? Yes, Regis. Lock it in. All right. Locking in left. It's the worst that can happen. Quite a lot, actually. You pursue the left path, and you see a shadowy figure with a glint of metal quickly shuffling past the tunnel, glowing with firelight. Hey, come back! Where are you going? Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo! You turn a corner down a dark set of stairs, the stench of rotting flesh and moldy sewage filling your lungs. The sounds of thick, bubbling fluid echoes all around as you're in a wide and deep cavern, and without warning, a blazing fire illuminates the far side of this den. A pool of pure fire burns as a short-cooked silhouette stands over it. They address the pool. My overlord, we have procured the gemstone. It was right where the fire-eater said it would be. With your permission, I shall start the ritual immediately. Do it. I will need all of my underlords for the next move. You are sure this will be an improvement? I have no doubt. So, is it true then? Have you indeed found the Pathfinder? They are all but within my grasp. We storm the gates in one week. Then there is no time to lose. Indeed. Oh, and one more thing. Make sure our guests burn. With pleasure. The silhouette turns around, revealing them to be a greenish gorilla like Undari and covered in fested pustules and boils, with some kind of druidic dretch wearing a cloak of rags. Their gnarly curled claws hold up a rod set with a pulsing fiery opal. A fanged smile comes across their face and they pound the rod on the ground, and the pool of fire transforms into floating flames, lighting the entire den. A horde of Gretches surrounds you, snarling clad in blue-gray armor. The pool behind the Gret's crew now bubbles with black oil, and a single demonic horn is curiously poking out from the crew. Let the ritual of resurrection begin! Everyone, go ahead and... Sorry, wrong room. We were looking for the bathroom. Yeah, that's down the hallway, isn't it? Actually, I meant to take the other path. That is our bad. So sorry to interrupt. Yeah, we'll be going. Bye. Have fun. See you later. Okay. Why don't you roll me a, what do we call it, initiative? And we'll see if you're able to say that before they're able to act. While we're on initiative, since we don't have the pleasure of listening to our voice actors over the plane, did that voice in the pool sound like Wesserface, Infernus? Infernus. Infernus. In the, yes. Okay. Oh. I rolled a 24. 11. 21. That would be a four. So before we really get into any decision-making, combat, or whatever it is you guys decide, I'm going to read a little bit of description of the room and let you know about what's going on. Thank you. Okay. So this room reeks of rotting flesh and moldy sewage. There's a large ceremonial pool that overflows with boiling crude oil. There's a demonic horn sticking out from the large pool and two small pools in the corners with a drain gate on the far side. is rotting support beams that crack menacingly in piles of rocks and piles of bones. Okay, this ceremonial pool, is it like elevated like a birdhouse or birdbath, or is it in the ground? No, it's in the ground, and that's where that druidic, I'm going to refer to it as the druidic dretch, like that one that was talking to the pool, that's where that one is situated, and it appears to be performing some kind of ritual. Metagame-wise, I've started a timer, and as time progresses, that Druid is like trying to, it appears they're trying to do something at that pool. Sounds like you're just describing Six Flags Fiesta, Texas. Where's the Iron Rattler? I went there. As our timer's going, our timer's going. San Antonio sucks. And the other two pools are just like chilling off to the side. I don't know if I'd say chilling, but they are to the side, to the left and the right when you enter. Did you give us a number of how many other Dretches there are that are not the Druid ones? Oh, I did not, but there are eight. Cool. That's manageable. Jeez. How far am I from the one summoning, Gunther? From the bottom of the stairs where you enter to that pool is probably about 40 feet more or less. Okay. Gunther is going to run forward, jump, and then midair cast Misty Step. Whoa. So that he lands with his sword onto the guy casting or summoning. That's pretty sick. Okay, FYI, there are those other eight dretches as well that are between you and that druidic dretch. So I'm assuming you want to just run a little bit, avoid any attacks of opportunity, and then try to jump in Misty Step. Yeah, pass. Around them, avoiding the attacks of opportunity to get to the druidic dretch. I just want to make sure I'm understanding correctly. Okay, yeah, what's the range on Misty Step? Is it like 30 feet or something? It is. Misty Step, briefly surrounded by Silvery Mist, you teleport up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space you can see. yeah obviously why not that should absolutely work so yeah you take you know five or ten feet of movement up ahead and i think the dretches the armored dretches they think they're gonna be able to attack you they look at you menacingly and then you jump up and disappear uh reappearing behind them all by the giant boiling pit where the druidic dretches and you attempt to strike at him is he holding anything this this creature he's holding a rod set with a pulsing fiery opal okay Well, first I will attack. Does an 18 hit? Yes, an 18 does hit. As I stab down, I want to use a superiority dice to use a disarming attack. When you hit a creature with an attack roll, I can attempt to disarm the target. Add the superiority dice roll to the attack's damage roll, and the target must succeed on a strength saving throw or drop one object of your choice that it's holding. Oh, Gunther's learned his lessons. Okay, yeah. Go ahead and get that roll. you use your superiority die you said right yeah that's 13 damage okay and i have to make a strength saving throw you said what's the dc on it it doesn't say a number okay we'll roll and see what it is is it is it a counter roll against me it's an inferiority die no it's just a saving throw it's not an opposed roll it doesn't matter i rolled a three which is probably not enough for whatever your check is so what item i have no idea what item you're going to choose what item do you choose for this druidic dretch to drop. Whatever that thing that you said was holding something kind of glowing or whatever. A rod with a fiery opal? That would be it. Yeah, that one. Who taught you this lesson? Do you remember? Yeah. It was Thode Renesis. Renesis? Renesis. You remember Renesis teaching you this lesson and you focus your weapon on the hand of this druidic dretch and use the leverage to force the rod with the fiery opal out of its hand and it clatters to the ground at the druidic dretches feet nice i do have a second attack for my second attack can i try and kick the thing towards my party is that an option you can i will warn you uh those eight dretches are between you and the party so even if you kick it in the direction of your party there's no guarantee it's going to get to them then i guess i guess picking up an item is is a free action right well in this case we'll say it's an action because this is kind of uh important here oh wait so you attacked which is an action you can attack again as part of that action but you can't take another action i'm going to say you're you you don't have another action i'm inclined to give it to you i'm looking for a way to make it happen but i don't think i think you're out of action okay then can i just use my action to kick the thing as no but you're out of actions well i guess like an attack against the can i yeah we can we can call it an attack on the item, but we'll say like an unarmed attack on the item. Yeah, I'm trying to push it away, you know. In what direction? I'll kick it west. Let's say you're going to kick it east. To the west, there's like a little pile of rocks. It's probably not that important, but we'll say you're kicking it to the east just because it's a little more clear in that direction. Yeah, make a unarmed attack on it just to see if you're able to hit it. A 13. Yeah, we'll say you're able to make contact with it at that point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So roll a D6 just to see how strong you're able to hit it. Okay. That's a one. Yeah, it's that thing where you wind up a really mighty kick, but most of the force goes over the rod, and you barely get a little glancing blow on it. And it skitters a little bit. It moves about five feet to the east. It's basically Charlie Brown. Get the rod. I have made it very easy to get. Yeah, it's like Lucy was holding the football and pulled it, and Gunther takes a big swinging kick and misses it. Oh, man. All right, and that is my turn. All right, that's it for Gunther. After Gunther is dug, then some enemies, then toll. Is anyone really hurt right now? How's everyone doing? Are you trying to just do some support? I want support. Good. Now, meta-wise, I've barely got any damage taken from you. You guys are okay? Okay. Do you have Mage Hand? uh do i have mage hand that's a negative speaking of mages that one took a damage you can heal them oh wait there one of us who is flying that very true it not me could i just cast that fire bolt that i wanted to cast last time absolutely Can I just cast Can I just cast this firebolt You going to touch that dog Can I touch that dog? Can I pet that dog? Which, I guess, is the dredge closest to me. It would be one of the armored dredges. They look very similar to the ones you fought that were in the mine cart previously. Okay, I will shoot the one closest to me then. All right, go ahead and... Let's say he has a mustache, so he's a little different from the other one. Okay. I'll shoot the mustachioed drench. Secretly in drench society, all the others are very jealous of this mustachio. Yeah, they are. He can grow facial hair. They can't. Does a 16 hit? Yes, a 16 hit. Excellent. And then that will do 2d10, fire damage. Yuck. Four. Total? Yeah. Wow. I rolled a one and a three on my 2d10s. Hammer. But... Gambot's here. Show me the gambot. Gambot time. This classic entrance catchphrase. Gamma too. And he is, I guess, going to go after me because I'm done my turn. Yeah. Could he do roll up to the same guy, the mustachioed fella, and do a force-empowered rend? Ooh, that sounds ouchy. A 19. That hits. Yeah, that hits. And then 1d8 plus 3 force damage. Come on. Come on, Gamma. Six points of damage. Dang, he's Gambot! Right up in the jaw. Yeah, is it in the jaw? Gambot, for some reason, I think a lot, because of the size, I think a lot he goes up and hits people in the shins, and they're just like, ow! Or like the crotch. Yeah, if he crits, it's the crotch. He definitely is crotch height at full extension. Gambot extends... What kind of rend was that? It's a force-empowered rend. force empowered rend uh right into the nether regions of the mustachioed dredge although i will say i imagine these dredges are kind of like a little hunched over kind of gremlin-y yeah so i think it would hit him in the chin yeah yeah yeah no no no no let's go for the catch okay no no no yeah for sure for sure it's barbara's character she gets to make the call right into the chin although hitting him in the cross and going mama mia would also be a very funny moment gambot hits him in the the jaw and he falls he becomes stiff as a board and falls over backwards unmoving on the ground and then gambot celebrates we're going like bouncing yeah all right so that's one of them uh is there anything else you can do there doug um i think that will be it for me all right guys there's one down it is the armored dredge's turn but before they're able to act The druidic dretch that's close to you, Gunther, closes his eyes and stretches his arms out and begins panting under his breath in a language you don't understand. And behind him, a fiery rune ignites at the edge of the pool. Mama say, mama say, mama say, mama say. A rune ignites at the pool? At the edge of the pool. A rune? Yeah. Okay, it is the armored dretch's turn. Well, they've got a target-rich environment. They've got a frog behind them, three people, and a giggy and a gambot in front of them. Trying to get them to fight gambot. I'm just imagining his head extended and stayed extended, and it's just like... Yeah. Okay, they're going to split up, I guess. Some of them are going to go after Gunther, and the rest are going to go after the party. We'll deal with... Three of them are going to peel off and go after Gunther first. Smart. Okay, I'm gonna have fun with this. Oh, no. Two of them begin very, like, almost like an animal. A very, what'd you say, like a very feral-like state. Begins slashing and grabbing at you, Gunther, wildly. Let's see if either of them hit. That's gonna hit. Yeah, one of them's a nat 20. That one hits. That's 20, but Gunther. Oh, bummer. It was. That one, Gunther, hits you for six points of slashing damage. and this dretch, you know, grapples you and drags you to the ground with it. Cool. The other dretch that went up there begins, like, hopping up and down in place, and an incredible stink begins emanating from its body. What? What's with all the stink? Make me a constitution saving throw, Gunther. Okay. Fourteen. You try to hold your breath, but a little bit gets in your lungs, and you begin coughing uncontrollably as you're being grappled by this other threat. And I think as Gunther is scratched, he looks down at that gash on his hand that had halved his max HP a while back and then like, and just feels the scratch even more. It's even worse now. Okay, the other four go in the direction direction of the party down to the south. I'm going to roll a D20. If it's one through ten, they'll go after Gambot. If it's above, they're going to go after the rest of the party. What did Gambot do? Yeah. She's goofing off. What did Gambot do? Gambot downed the mustachioed Dredge. The cool one. This is a high crime. Yeah, they rolled a one, so they're going to go after Gambot. Alpha Dredge. He's just smiling because it's painted on. He has no other face. Yeah. It's just a decal. They're going to all do one shared attack just because they're all attacking the same way. Merit. How many spare parts you got for a Gambot? So much. Enough to build a new one? I could build infinite. What was that? I rolled a one. I rolled a one. Oh, my God. You can't hurt him. He's just so happy. He's the mascot of the show, Gus. It's Gambot. Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. Squeaky. All right. I think they're so enraged at the mustachioed dread falling that they don't know what they're doing. They close their eyes and begin slashing and grabbing blindly. But they're just like attacking the air directly in front of them, missing Gambot entirely. Blindry. I like that Gambot's like bouncing, but like just kind of casually left to right, but just keeps swiping. My God, he's skilled. it's like at the end of the matrix when neo just kind of like steps to the left calmly steps to the right calmly yeah and then like kind of just bats the agent away like nothing he's starting to believe give yourself an inspiration die that's really good yeah there is no spoon all right uh next up is the druidic dretch it's gonna walk over and pick up its rod because it's only five feet away. Wait, no, attack him. Oh, wait, no, I'm... Gunther, you're grappling on the ground now. That's why I'm making this move. It reclaims its rod and walks back over to the pit. Once again, it begins chanting and points the rod at the pit of boiling crude oil, and another fiery rune ignites. What happens if all the... How many runes are there? There are four more remaining. Oh, well. Okay, well. Summon a Little Caesar's $5 hot and ready. Light them, light them, light them. Light the torches. Metagame-wise, I guess I should tell you, I have a ten-sided die I'm moving for a countdown. If you all interfere with the ritual, the count goes up. If the ritual's uninterrupted, the count goes down. And when the countdown hits zero, the ritual's complete. Very Daggerheart of you. Yeah, we got mechanics we're working with back here. A little peek behind the curtain for everyone. It then turns around, pointing the rod in the direction of the three of you down south by the entrance. It's ignoring Gunther. It begins chanting and waving the rod around, and a fiery mass erupts from the end of the rod, traveling towards you three. All of you, except for Gunther, make me a dexterity saving throw. I've got advantage on that. Form of a gambot. Squeaking, squeaking, squeaking. I rolled a nat 20. Very nice. 22. Seven and an 11. Oh, thank heaven. I'm going to die. 18. Actually, I'm going to use my inspiration die. There you go. I just earned it. I burn them. I burn them. Ooh, 19. 19? Okay. All right. A fiery mass, which you recognize as a fireball, erupts in your midst. But you all are able to dive behind piles of rocks. And, you know, you take some damage, but not all of it. you're able to mitigate the effects of some of the damage. So instead of being fully affected by it, you all succeeded on your saving throws, so you take half damage. So each of you take 12 points of fire damage. Even with a nat 20? Yeah, that's half damage. Damage, so that's 12. Why'd we dodge that? So it would have been 24. It would have been 25, but I rounded down for you. Wow, what a generous god. I'm a kind giving DM. The druidic dredge cackles with glee. Next up is Tolv, and after Tolv is Natty. All right. Shield. Holster. Gavel of Gaelstrom. Two-handed. Activated. Glutes engaged. I rage. Oh, I'm raging. And how far away is the mage from me again? Was it 30 feet full? The druidic dredge is about 40 feet away. 40 feet. Okay. I want to like walk into the bulk of the enemies, the dredges that are in front of us. He said there was eight there. And I know that some went over to gunther like three went to gunther four are in front of you i want to get away from natty and doug but be within the center mass of those guys because i want to use this power that the gavel gives me uh is that possible yeah absolutely so you want to walk into the middle of them yeah that will provoke some attacks of opportunity no you're moving in you're not moving through it was you're moving into it so we'll see you can do this yeah okay cool yeah i'm gonna use the gavel of gaelstrom two-handed attack uh let's actually just see if this hits first and foremost i guess i'll aim for like if this is like a quadrant quadrant uh top left guy i'll take a swing at him sure 21 that hit okay and then i'll do 1d 10 plus 3 bludgeoning damage very nice that's a 12 and then I have this thing that I can use once per long rest called Stromstrike it might be misspelling it could be Stormstrike I don't know with a strike of your Warhammer a blustery gale incites a howling rage into all enemies and allies within a 10 foot radius all creatures within range must take a DC 14 charisma saving throw on a failed save the creature is knocked prone by the blustery gale and becomes enraged for up to 1 minute On a successful save, the creature is just knocked prone by the blustery gale. The creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of its turn. The creature automatically succeeds if it is immune to being charmed. And then it has this thing called blinded by rage. Enraged creatures lose the ability to distinguish friend from foe. Regarding all creatures, it sees as enemies. Okay, so I've got to start off with charisma saving throws. What have I done? Additionally, a protective gale surrounds the creature. granting them resistance to bludgeon, piercing, and slashing damage. What have I done? What did I do that for? That's too late now. Let's see how it goes. What's wrong with it? What's wrong with it? I don't want to give them resistance. Wait, you gave them resistance? That's what it says. Additionally, a protective gale surrounds the creature. Is that the creature being me? It's the enraged creature. Enraged creature. Yep, yep, yep. It's them. That's fine. At the very least, it's going to make them the enemies of each other. So it'll distract them from us. So it still does the job. All right. So I'm doing a charisma saving throw. What was the DC on it? You're doing a DC 14 charisma saving throw for the four. I'm going to roll them all. One roll for all of them. Okay. They have a plus zero, so I need a 14 or better. Don't roll that. Or do. Actually, do. 11. Sorry. It was my decision, not yours. I did not roll it. They failed. So once again, on a failed save, the creature is knocked prone by the blustery gale and becomes enraged for up to one minute. Okay. So they're now, it's just that one creature that got hit is prone, right? All four of them because they're within a 10-foot range. Nice. Wow. Okay. So all four of them are now prone and in rage. Ah-cha-cha. Super cool. So now you can keep running past them, right? Yeah. You opened up a lane. Oh, I also have plus two melee damage because I'm raging. So I guess I'm at first guy. So that was like, what, a 12, so plus two, so 14 on that top left guy. Got it. All right. Writing it down. Yeah. So Tolv spins around, enraging all the enemies and forcing them to the ground. They're just kind of rolling around now at this point. At your feet, Tolv. That one guy didn't die? He's still up and he's fine? He is still up for the moment. Okay. Well, he's down, but you know what I mean. You knocked him down. You knocked him prone. For sure. And then I am going to use my second attack. I'm going to avoid these guys. These guys are knocked down. Time is of the essence. I need to make it to the mage. So I think... Druid. Druid. That's totally what I said. And instead of attacking anybody, I guess I'm just going to double speed to get to them. Actually, no, I have walking speed of 40 feet, so I'm just going to go up and knock that guy. Power walk, yeah? Do it. Yeah. Chip Haney, here he comes. Channel the chip. Okay, cool. Yeah, so you do this and continue your walk and do your second attack over there on the druidic threat. I would like to if that is possible, Your Honor. Yeah, I'm just clarifying that that's what you're doing. Yeah, yeah. Then I'm going to roll. that is a 11. That does not hit. You sure about that? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I give you my inspiration die. Chris gives me his inspiration die. Gunther, what do you say to Toll to inspire him? I don't want to die. Wow, inspiring. It wasn't inspiring enough. That's an 8. Oh, no, that's even worse. That's still a miss. Gus, do you want to give him your inspiration? Gus, come on, please. I forgot. Maybe I'll use mine this combat. No, I'm not sharing mine. That's it for Toll. Next up is Natty, and then we go back to Gunther at the top of the initiative. Natty puts out her palms out to the side upwards and Magneto lifts up off the ground and just floats towards the druid out of reach, I would assume of any of the other dredges that are standing. Yeah, well, the four closest to you are all on the ground prone. One of the other ones by the druid is currently grappled with Gunther on the ground, which leaves two of them when you're able to float over them out of range of attack of opportunity. Cool. Natty's going to square her hands then straight towards the druid and do some Eldritch Blast in hope of breaking his concentration. All right. Roll that beautiful bean footage. First one is a nat 20. Beautiful. Beautiful. That is a hit. So that'll be a d10 plus four. And then what do I get? I get 10. You get a full crit dice. Yeah, exactly. So 3 plus 4 is 7, plus 10 is 17. 17, ouch. Yeah, it strikes the Druidic Dretsch who winces and kind of nurses his arm where he's hit, but he is still standing and glares at you. Well, and that he glares back. Ooh. Ooh, ooh. And goes, don't glare at a lady. And does another Eldritch Blast at him. 13 plus 7, so dirty 20. Yes. That hits. plus four is 11. Oh, wait. I did forget that I have Agonizing Blast, which means when you cast Eldritch Blast, you add plus four to the damage it deals on hit. So it's 11 force damage, and then add another eight total to him for that Agonizing Blast that I did twice. Okay. The Druidic Dretch doubles over in pain, but is still standing. Now he's kind of propping himself up with that rod. He's struggling to stand, but he is still there. Well, from behind Natty's wig, you see a pair of eyes peek out. And Gigi lunges down towards the druid and tries to rend him. And that's a 13 plus 5. 18. Yeah, that does hit. Gigi's rend is a d4. It's 2 plus 3. of five slashing damage. The target has the poison condition. Start P.E.'s next turn. All right. Yeah, the druidic dredge clutches at its chest and stumbles, seemingly unable to keep its feet. Stumbles forward a step and then stumbles backwards and falls into the pool of boiling crude oil. Whoa. Oh, and then another face peeks out from behind Natty's wig and it's a pirate and he's sad that he didn't get the help. It's the carrying capacity of Natty's wig. it's industrial strength natty make me a perception check love to my perceptions plus three is for 14 you see a hand reach out from the pool and grasp onto the edge of the ground and you recognize it as the druidic dredges hand and it pulls itself up out of the pool is that what the horn also was yeah the horn is in that pool glares at you and smiles a disgusting, jagged, toothy smile. Natty just tries to kick him down under the water more. Oh, okay. She's just taking her boot and she's like, no, you're done. You're done. The druidic dredge pulls itself out of the pool ready for more. I can do this all day. Okay, well that's the end of my turn. It's a good turn? Yeah, you did a lot, Natty. but we are back up to the top of the initiative, and it's Gunther's turn. Okay, so I got the one that's got me grappled. Can I try to attack that one? Oh, I think you can, yeah. You have disadvantage on attack rolls against any target other than the grappler. Yeah, yeah, you are correct. Yeah, so you can. And I shall... Nat 20 for 28. Beautiful. Wow. Yeah, you're able to, you know, in close end, I don't know how, manage to get your reapier around and poke the grappler. So how does that work with rolling? Oh, and then I'll take a look. That's right. It's critical. Let me take a look at it. Yeah, because D&D Beyond automatically adds a second one, but we homebrewed it so that one of the die is maximum. So it'll be... It's actually 18 points of damage. And then... Is it still up? Yes. Yeah, you're able to stab it with the rapier, and it's significantly hurt, but it is still holding on to you. Okay, then I want to make it a use of superiority dice to make it a menacing attack, which I add my superiority die to the damage roll and they have to make a wisdom saving throw, DC 16. On a failure, it's frightened of me. Okay, let me roll that first of all, just to get that out of the way. It's a DC 16 wisdom. And it'll be an additional... I rolled the two of my damage, but I have that... I can reroll one damage dice per attack. Puncture. So, yeah, puncture. Once per turn, when you hit a creature with an attack that deals piercing damage, you can reroll one of the attack's damage dice, and you must use a new roll. It's a two, and it's a two either way, so it doesn't matter. So it does two extra damage. Okay, and I rolled a 17 on the wisdom saving throw, which succeeds, but that's irrelevant because with your additional damage, the Armadretch loses its grip on you and falls unmoved. Woo-hoo! Now, is the whatever emperor or whatever guy summoning thing, is he still around? Is he within reach of me? Yeah, he's probably like five feet away. Okay, I want to use my second attack to attack him. From the ground. Oh, I was grappled, right? Yes. On the ground? Yeah. So I'll tell you this. I didn't say it explicitly because I thought it was understood with the grapple. When you started coughing as well, when that smell got in your lungs, that would have made you prone. I didn't say it because I assumed you were prone already because of the grapple. I probably should have explicitly said it so that the prone wasn't understood. But that did put you on the ground, if nothing else. Hand in your badge, Gus. So then, can I stand up and attack within that reach? Yeah, so you're able to use half your movement, and then you're able to stand up, and you can make that attack. Because within five feet, I mean, that's pretty much there. Okay, and then I'm going to run and attack the, what's it called? No need to run. I'm just right next to you. Sold out It very crisp to run everywhere but this person is only five feet away All right 15 That is a miss All right I using another superiority die Can you use multiples like that? Precision attack. When you make a weapon attack roll, you can spend one superiority die to add to the roll before or after the roll. Okay. So I'm going to add another eight. Does a 19 hit? A 19 does hit. All right. So now this is going to be a 16 damage. Nice. That's a lot of damage. You run the five feet forward and attack the druidic dredge doing 19 points of damage. It is still standing, but he winces in pain. All right. I use my final superiority die to do disarming attack once again. And I add that eight damage as well. Okay. And I got to make a, was it a strength save? Strength saving throw. And I rolled an eight. So that's another eight damage. And just for reference, the DC on that is 16. I could tell. No, Gus, you knew that. Off by heart. Always say you just knew it. Off by heart. Yeah, yeah. I don't have an incredibly helpful team helping me out every step of the way that we're doing this. No, no, no, no. It's all you. No, it's all me. I rolled a 17. So I think this time the Druidic Dretch knows your game, Gunther. and puts two hands on the rod and holds onto it firmly and is able to hold onto the rod despite your best effort to disarm him. Clever. But he still takes an extra 8 damage. Yes, I have written that down. All right, anything else? Any more superiority die you want to throw at me, Gunther? No, I'm out. That was impressive. That was a great turn. You and Natty, back-to-back, great turns there. That's it. All right. Next up should be Doug, but once again, the druidic dretch grasps onto the rod, pulls it close to his body, and then raises it in the air chanting, and another rune illuminates around the pool. Cool. So that's three. That much closer to our hot and fresh ready pizza. Oh my gosh. Doug, you are up. It's like the little domino tracker. Yeah. Preparing your order. Dretch is cooking your pizza. And our bones. That might be one of the best features ever was just that little thing. Because you're just like, yep, it's not sweet. It's all a lie, though. Because if someone ordered like a two-liter Coca-Cola and it was like, cooking your thing. And it was like, better not. I don't mean to interrupt you, Barbara. But years ago when we were doing RT podcast down at the studio down south, we were in the area we called the Annex. And we would order pizza sometimes from delivery places for the podcast. And we thought it would be fun to like have a celebration for the driver when he showed up. So we put up like party celebration stuff. Yeah. Like when he got there, he walked in the door. We're like, yay, the pizza's here. Like everyone was like super excited. Confetti popper. Confetti, yeah. And then the driver was like, how did you know it was my birthday? We were like, we did it. It's just a happy coincidence. Meant to be. Some things in life happen as they're meant to happen. Just like that. Yeah. All right. I'm sorry, Barbara. It is Doug's turn. Then after Doug is some armored dredges. I think Doug would want to see what's up with this horn that's in this pool. Is there any way that he could go over there to, like, try to pull it up? Yeah, you could go over in that direction. The armored dretches that would have had an attack opportunity on you are currently prone in front of you, so you're able to walk around them. Oh, excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. You walk up to the pool of bubbling, boiling crude oil, Texas tea. And you try to take a look at that horn. What do I do, like an investigation check or something? Yeah, I'll take an investigative look at this thing. Look. Well, that's a seven. I don't have any inspiration to die. Yeah, you take a look at it, and you see that there's other stuff floating in the pool besides the horn. You can't really tell anything about the horn specifically. But you see maybe, like, rocks and pieces of wood also in that boiling oil. So it seems like maybe this is just, like, debris. Like, maybe nothing special. Maybe. Maybe a really bad soup or stew of some sort. Could I try to reach in and grab it out? Like, not actually put my hand in the water, but just, like, grab the tip that's, like, coming out? Yeah, I'm going to make you make a dexterity check, though, just to see, like... I picture it to, like, when you're boiling pasta, like, boiling spaghetti, and you want to get, like, one piece out to test it, and you're like, don't touch the boiling hot water. So, Leigh, let's see if you burn your hand. I probably will. Oh, 18. Oh, okay, yeah. You're able to latch onto the tip of the horn and yank on it and pull it free. And what, you want to try to take a look at it again, you said? Yeah, I just want to see, like, what it is. Okay, yeah, you start pulling on it, and it ends up being way heavier than you expect. Make me a strength check now that you've made that dexterity check. Also, just want to confirm, is this, like, helmet horn or, like, playing horn, like instrument horn? Oh. Like rhinoceros horn. Important distinction. Or trumpet. Oh. Please be trumpet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a... Animal horn. animal horn. Like a curved kind of... So an animal playing a trumpet? Exactly. It's just a trombone that's been sticking out of this pool the whole time. And he said a strength check? Yeah. He had 20! Yeah! I have no modifiers on my strength. You're still strong. You gingerly reach out and grab the tip of the horn and pull, and it's much heavier than you expect. And as you begin pulling on it, you start to see the little the top of a like a demonic head that is attached that's in the pool uh doug will immediately drop it back into the water oh god never mind the crude oil liquid it's attached to uh to a head of some kind that's gross i'm scarred for life when uh moosh who's looking for move on in the avalanche and pulls up and it's just an angry uh hon he's He's like, nope. And he puts it back down. I remember that. Yeah. I guess then could I finish up my turn by casting detect thoughts on this druid? Yeah. Yeah. I want to read thoughts. And I can read that for you if you want me to. But yeah, why don't you read it out loud just to be safe for any listeners as well. On target one creature you can see within 30 feet of yourself to do the sense thoughts option, you learn what is most on the target's mind right now. If the target doesn't know any languages and isn't telepathic, you learn nothing. Oh, so maybe I have to sense thoughts then, because I doubt he's telepathic. Eggs, 2% milk, toilet paper. No, he's like, oh, my pizza's coming soon. Yeah. You can do this if the target doesn't know language and isn't telepathic. Okay. So if both of those conditions are met, it's not a matter of either or. Yeah. Either or. Okay, cool. Then I will try to read thoughts. And what's most on its mind? You reach out and try to read the talk to the Druidic Dreads, and you hear chanting in a language you don't understand, but you also hear the thought. Must complete the ritual. Must complete the ritual. And I don't understand. Could I at least tell what language the other thoughts are in? It's some kind of demonic language that you're not familiar with. It sounds abyssal, but maybe not abyssal exactly. You hear one word. Azuzu. That will be it. I have had that Michael Jackson song stuck in my head ever since you made that joke playing. I just want to say, you like earwormed it right in. Mama say, mama say, mama say, mama say, mama say, mama say, mama say, mama say, mama say, That is an earworm. That is a good definition of an earworm. It's just that, it's not even the chorus of the song. It's like whatever, a refrain at the end or something. That's it for my turn. All right. That is it for Doug. It is the armored dretches turn. Man, those four are down south. We're going to deal with them first because that's the funniest to me. They're rolling around enraged, and they're immune to, like, slashing and piercing damage. Resistant. They are... Protective Gale surrounds the creature, granting them resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage. All right. Anybody got some lightning or fire and thunder? Well, they're all enraged, and they're all closest to each other, so I figured they're just like... All slashing at each other, rolling around on the ground. Natty throws them a bunch of pillows. It's like the most disturbed. It's just a mess of claws and teeth down there, to put it mildly. Call that a mosh pit? Diggy, get in there. Yeah. Diggy's like, come on, come on. Natty's like holding him back with her leash. No. Taking some rolls for fun. Okay. After they're done rolling around, slashing and attacking each other, A couple of them are left unmoving, but a couple of them are still rolling around. And they'll stand at that point. There are two of them standing now and two of them that are unmoving. And they hug each other. Winner! Tryouts. Okay, and then now we're left with the ones up here. Gunther, you killed the one that was grappling you. Oh, and they have to repeat their saving throw at the end of their turn. Let me do that again. What's that saving throw, Colt? PC 14. Charisma. Oh, I rolled a 14. Yeah, so they break free. They have zero, so they got a 14. They are no longer affected by that effect. But now they're stunned because they killed their comrades. They look at their hands in the blood. Yeah. And Mr. Mustache is gone. It's the worst day of their lives. I'm so glad you ran with that. So we're left with the two up here by Gunther and Toll. One of them begins emitting a foul stench from all of its pores and its mouth. Gunther and Toll make me constitution saving throws. You got it, dude. 16. 11. 11? Okay. It's a DC 11, so you barely got it. Gunther. Yeah, the two of you try to hold your breath, but you're just surrounded by these fumes. And eventually you have to take a breath, and the smell enters your lungs, which makes you start coughing, and both of you fall to the ground prone. Eat. I mean, technically, Tolv can hold his breath underwater, but I'm going to roll with it. You're right. I'm all prone. Look at me go. Thanks for being a good sport there, Toll. Give me some inspiration, though. Now use it to re-roll. It's after the fact. We're going along with the DM. I'm going to reward that. Wait, so what would have happened if we'd failed? You fall to the ground and you're poisoned. Oh. I'll take that. I'll take a prone. Okay, that's one of them. The other one is going to attack Gunther, just slashing wildly with his claws. Eek. These things are no joke. We got four down. Three. Three. It rolls a 12, which I assume is a miss. Gunther, you've got good AC. That is a miss. You're prone, so it casts advantage. Gambot killed one, and then Gunther killed one. Oh, four down. And then the two killed each other. Oh, you're right. I forgot to mark the Gambot one, so there's only one down to the south in that point. How dare you? He worked hard on that. Yeah, you're trying to take away Gambot's murder. He does the thing like the mayor in Nightmare Before Christmas where his head turns around and it's a sad face. Yeah, he's sad. Your favorite character from Nightmare Before Christmas. So creepy. So that's an 11, which is also a miss. So there's only one down to the south and two up here. And even though you're prone, this one misses you, Gunther. And then falls in the boiling oil pool. It worked out well for the druid. Speaking of the druid, it's its turn. it once again turns to look at the pool. He's poisoned. Metagame-wise, he's immune to poison. Oh. Well, so is Kiki, so, you know. He turns to look at the pool and points the rod at the pool, chants something in a pistol, and another rune illuminates. Two left. It's self-delivery. Is it approaching my neighborhood yet? Yeah. Then he turns to face you all, aims his rod down low, and then raises it from the ground up to the sky and you hear a gutter in a guttural voice he just says rise rise from your grave love that game guess gets it yeah yeah yeah alter piece love that game that's what i was thinking of and two of those armored dretches that were out of commission near him rise from the ground and rejoin the fight oh necromancy so there are now four up by him and then one down to the south Wait, I take it back. There was only one by him to begin with. One there and then one to the south. Right. There's three by him and two to the south. There's so many of these guys. Okay, that's it for the druid's turn, which means it's Toll and then Natty. Yoo-hoo. Okay, I don't like this druid, so I'm going to make an attack on them. With the gavel of gale. Smart move. So that is a 19 plus 625. Cha-cha-cha. 25, that connects. Big damage. Two, a handed attack. No whammies. Three, plus three, six, plus the two, because I'm raging. Eight. Eight. All right. You bring your gavel around, striking the druidic dress for eight points of damage. Ouch. Woo-hoo. And then I have a bonus action that I'd like to use. It's the Storm Aura. You gain a 10-foot aura effect when you start your rage, and there's a bonus action on each of your turns. when activated, one creature of your choice in your aura takes lightning damage. It's a dexterity DC 14, half damage on success, full save. They said it was a 14? Correct. I rolled an 11 and I have a plus two, so that's a 13, so that's a failure. Woo-hoo-hoo! So sorry, sir. And let me see, that's a third level 1d6. All right, so I'm going to roll my 1d6 to see how much damage it takes. Watch it, ja! Four points of lightning damage. or lightning. I don't think I'm immune to that. Let me double check. I'm pretty sure you're not. I don't think so. Yeah, I talked to Mike earlier about it. He said no. Yeah, I'm not. Okay, yeah. Four points of lightning. Got it. That was legit. Cool. And then I'm going to keep attacking because he needs to stop those runes. Another swipe with the gavel of Gaelstrom. Alright, make that attack roll. Ha-ha-ha. That's a 16. That's exactly what you need. 16 is a hit. I'll take it. Alright, and then that's a 1v10. Rolling that. Not my best. Seven. Plus two from rage. Nine. You strike the druidic threat. You drop to one knee near the edge of the pool, supporting himself with the rod. He looks at you, tries to mouth something tall, but is unable to get it out and falls face down on the edge of the pool. Releasing the rod, which begins rolling over towards the edge of the pool, about to fall in. He whispered, will you marry me? I'm going to grab it. Yeah, can we try and grab it? I got some distance that I can travel, so I'll go for it. Yeah, why don't you make me a... Tolve, since you're right there, why don't you make me a dexterity check to see if you're able to grab it before it falls in. That is a 15. You reach out and grab it, and just as the rod is about to roll into the pool, you get your fingers on it and roll it away from the edge and get it into your hand. To celebrate, Tolve spikes it into the soil pool. Woo! Woo! I'll get it. You go to spike it and celebrate, and you're immediately surrounded by dretches who begin trying to grapple. No! Make me three grapple checks. Wait, actually? Yeah, they're alive still. Oh, it's this AC. Yeah, you can oppose with strength or dexterity. I'm going to do dexterity because I have advantage. Okay, roll me three. Okay. It's a nat 20 for one. Check not save, no advantage. So take your first three rolls. Check not save, got it. All right, so. I rolled a 7 and a 3 and a 4, so I think you're probably okay. So I got a 21. I got a 12. I might re-roll that with my inspo. I got an 18. You're good. He just said his numbers. You beat all his numbers. Okay, sorry. I can't do math like Gus can. I'm not that good. 7, 3, 4. Yeah, the dretches begin trying to swarm you and grapple you, but you use your might to push them away and shove them to the ground. And make me a perception check, Cole. Okay. Sorry it took me that long to find where the perception is. It's always the one that's hidden away. That's a 17. It's hidden in that alphabetical order of your test. It's alphabetical? Yes. Got it. Guys, did you know? What were you going to tell me? Oh my god, that's incredible. This is our job. As you shove the dretches to the ground, something catches your eye in the western pile of rocks by the pool. A glinting blue-gray metal. It's not just a piece of metal, though. It looks like a head. oh oh neo's head i thought teo was the head well find out what it is on the next episode of tales from the stinky dragon he sat there the whole time not saying nothing brother maybe we'll find out why all right well Thanks for listening, everybody. We had a very productive episode. Lots of combat, lots going on. Everyone getting to use their abilities. I look forward to talking all about this in our next episode of Second Wind, which is available for patrons over at StinkyDragonPod.com. Until next time, stay stinky. Salutations, stinkers. It's me, Micah Reisinger, and I'm here to tell you about a tavern tale. That's right. Mealwalkers, the one I GMed, is all out now. All episodes are available at StinkyDragonPod.com. Don't fret. If you haven't checked it out yet, episode zero is still available for free to the public. So if you want to listen to that and you want to listen to more episodes one and two, you got to go to stinkydragonpod.com. Become a patron, get access to all our Tavern Tales, not just mine, all the other ones too, like Sea Squad. Oh, that's good stuff. Anyways, new episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free, no commercials? You can support us by becoming a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or join us as a member on Beacon.tv. Both give you early ad-free access and a members-only Discord for their respective platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks? Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only livestreams, stinky community events, and a shout-out on the show, just like Roman Sage. This one's going to be fun. Gleik Jowicht. I totally got that right. Gleik Jowicht? Maybe? I don't know. These patrons directly support the show, get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen, and other stinky perks. Once again, that's StinkyDragonPod.com. We are incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible. Some of our friends voiced NPCs in this episode, like Dredge Druid, voiced by Quentin Smith. Find them at twitch.tv slash quicks18. That's Q-U-I-X-1-8. Inferness, voiced by Laurel Rothamel, at Laurel Rothamel. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Reisinger, written and composed by Micah Reisinger, and edited by Alina Lukorchik. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Using the... Who taught you this lesson? Do you remember? Yeah. It was... Hold. Yeah. Hold. Oh, yeah? Hold. Hold. Hold. Hold. Must have been an important lesson, huh? Hold. Holding my breath. Hold. We're holding. We're holding. No, Chris is holding. Don't hold too long. Don't do that. hold I got it it is it is where's my shoot so uh reneesis reneesis yeah I want the the outtake at the end of this episode to be that in real time unedited just waiting well guys we that would make our podcast a four hour runtime so