Top Tips for a Successful Summer with your ADHD Child

Today, Mike and I are going to talk about our top six tips for a successful summer with your ADHD child. Welcome to the ADHD Parenting Podcast with Mike McLeod of Grow Now ADHD and Ryan Wetzelblatt of ADHD Dude. Learn about parenting kids with ADHD from a licensed clinical social worker and speech language pathologist who specializes in ADHD. No fluffy parenting advice, only practical information that will equip you to help your child with ADHD effectively. So Mike, welcome. Why don't we just jump in and get started with tip number one? Sure. So summers for kids with ADHD are two things that are very important to Ryan and I. We're firm believers that the summertime is a great experience for ADHD kids and teens to develop executive functioning skills. And this list of tips are really helpful to a lot of families. So number one is that structure is critical. So one of the most important things you want to think about when you are a parent to a child with ADHD is understanding that they need structure in their lives. Because if you leave them to their own devices where they're able to just sort of dictate how their summer is going to look, the way the ADHD brain works is that it's going to choose the path of least resistance. What is the easiest way to stay in my comfort zone and put myself in the least demanding situations possible? So the ADHD child or teen is going to try to stay up as late as possible, be on screens as much as possible, sleep as late as possible, and just go out of the house and interact with peers face to face, you know, not do camps, not go out and work. They're going to want to sort of just, you know, stay at home and not be pushed out of their comfort zone. But we know the ADHD brain thrives with structure. And when they stay in their comfort zone, executive functioning skills get further inhibited and further delayed. And the more that we can add structure and push them out of their comfort zone to do things face to face with peers and have varied experiences, that's what develops the executive functioning skills they're going to need for life and the upcoming school year. And Mike, let's also mention that, you know, lack of structure is one of the worst things for an ADHD brain. Often when we see lack of structure and boredom at home because kids with ADHD have difficulty tolerating boredom, that's when we start to see a lot of provoking siblings, provoking arguments with parents, emotional dysregulation, just general noise. You know, my term for arguing and complaining for the sake of arguing and complaining. So having, you know, structure and a proactive plan in place for the summer is preventative against having problem behavior problems over the summer. So that being said, you know, one of the things that we do want to focus on is, you know, what kind of options are out there for kids? So Mike and I are both a big supporter of summer camps, and we will talk about what we both offer in a little bit. But there are plenty of options out there. So, you know, you don't have to spend a ton of money on camp. Most rec departments in, you know, a lot of towns and areas have summer programs. I know here in my town, they do. And Mike, I think where you are, you know, they do as well. You know, so there's everything from, you know, rec department camps to YMCA camps to, you know, private summer camps, depending on where in the country you live. One of the things I do want to say with that is, you know, for a lot of kids with ADHD, what I do not suggest is what's become very common, which is often going to several different camps in a summer. And this is particularly true of your child's struggle socially, because every time they start a new camp, new set of rules, new set of expectations, new set of, you know, staff, new set of kids. So all of those, you know, changes in structure and routine, it doesn't make it easier for them. It often makes things more difficult. So what I always suggest to people is if you can do one camp for multiple weeks, that is much better to me than, you know, doing multiple camps over the summer. And I understand and appreciate, you know, the idea of having varied experiences. I think that is important. But when it comes to camp, particularly if your child struggles with transitions or with making and developing friendships, just keep in mind that if they're a different camp each week, they're not really going to have the time to develop any kind of friendships there. So just something, you know, for everybody to think about. The other thing, Mike, that I know we'll get a lot of questions about is, well, what about like, you know, my teenager, because they're too old for camp? That's not necessarily true. A lot of rec departments have summer programs specifically for teens. So I always suggest that people look into your local rec department, see what they have, you know, find out from the YMCA, what do they have? If you're not sure what's available in your community, you know, ask on the, you know, the Facebook group for your area or ask, you know, the counselor, your child's school, what's available. There are things for teens out there. You know, one of the things that is sometimes offered or what are called counselor and training programs, CIT programs, where they can go to a camp for a reduced fee. And they are, you know, with a group of teens for part of the day, and then they're, you know, helping out with the younger kids for part of the day. So CIT programs, I will tell you, in areas that camps that have them, they tend to fill up very quickly because there are limited options for teens. So just know that that is out there. The other thing you can ask about, you know, in your local Facebook group is volunteer opportunities for teens, you know, ask other parents. You know, have your, have your kids, you know, volunteer to anywhere over the summer. And then lastly, of course, we have summer jobs, you know, like one of the things, and I don't know if you guys see this, but so often I find with the families I've worked with is they have this wishful thinking that their kids are going to get a summer job somehow. And the parent is not really thinking realistically that, you know, a business might not want to have a kid who's just working in the summer when their business tends to slow down, right? So be realistic that getting a job for the summer is probably not going to be realistic for many of you, depending where you live, unless you live in a seasonal, you know, town where they, you know, there's like a, you live in like a seasonal beach town or somewhere where, you know, tourists come in the summer. It's not as easy for teens to get jobs as you think, particularly younger ones. So just keep that in mind. But if you are looking for a job, if you do, if you would like your teen to get a job, start looking now in April and start applying now. And start to figure out and obviously make sure it's that seasonal position where they can leave when school starts again. But overall, what a lot of parents are probably thinking right now listening to this is, how am I going to even get my child to agree to go to camp? And because, you know, obviously ADHD kids are very good at, you know, defiance and emotional manipulation and saying no and those sorts of things. You know, you as the parent need to make this an expectation and not a choice. If they're, you make it very, very clear where if they refuse to go to camp, then they're not going to sit at home all day on video games, on YouTube, on their phone, just doing whatever they want to do. They actually really shouldn't have access to those things at all over the summer. In my personal opinion, they really can't just be dictating what they're going to be doing on a daily basis and saying no to the things that you know as the parent with your greater executive functioning and your greater self awareness and future thinking skills. You know how healthy of an experience camp will be for them. They can't see that with their lack of future thinking skills. So you, if you know that there's a camp that is available to them, you can get them a spot, you can send them to, you do it and you make it an expectation and not a choice. And you figure out a plan to send them to it. And there is an absolutely very high probability 99% to 100%. When that camp is done, that they're going to come home and they're going to be very thankful that you sent them and they're going to have an overwhelmingly positive experience. And Mike, let's mention that many kids, you know, even after they have that positive experience will say it was stupid. It was boring. And of course, because they would have preferred to sit home and play video games all day. So even if they have a good experience and were successful, you might not hear that, right? Because it was not their, you know, it was a step outside their comfort zone. And as we know, kids with ADHD love to stay within their comfort zone. You know, so I can't tell you how many times I've seen kids with ADHD have successful summer camp experiences, you know, and then say after it was boring or it was stupid, you know, because again, you know, it's number one, they might not remember that they were successful because of their difficulty with episodic memory. And number two, because they know that being negative about something gets much more of your attention than being positive about something. So exactly. And and and they're always sort of aware of sort of like winning, losing versus parents. Yeah. So if they say, oh, I had a great time at camp, then it's also kind of saying you win, I lose and you were right. I should have went where, you know, so, you know, the best camps let you kind of talk to the counselors, talk to the camp, you know, the camp staff and find out what your son or daughter was doing at camp on a daily basis. And you'll get real factual information of what they were doing on a day to day interacting with others, following directions, trying new things, gaining new skills. Camp is just literally built for executive functioning development. I am such a huge fan of camp and summer experiences. It really is. You can make a strong argument. They develop more executive functions at camp than they do during the school year. It's really something that all parents should consider. And one thing I just, Mike, I want to give a little plug for is that I have done, excuse me, I've done both. Articles and webinars for Attitude Magazine on finding the right summer camp for your child and having realistic expectations and you can check them out at my Attitude Magazine page. If you go to my Instagram, click on the link in the bio, you'll see my Attitude page there and you can see my content about, you know, camps, which is all free. So feel free to check that out. So our number two tip for a successful summer is to have clear parameters for screen time and expectations in the summer. So we touched on this a little bit. You always have to be aware of screen time for your ADHD child because screen time and ADHD just don't mix. They're going to want to do it all day, every single day. And now you don't have school to send them to every day. They're going to be home. And if you buy them a phone, they like to act like it's their phone and not your phone. And they're really going to, they're going to try to be on that phone all day long and constantly take the path of least resistance. So we're seeing more and more information constantly coming out. We just had that, that Netflix series, Adolescents Come Out, Jonathan Heights doing a great job. You know, the dangers of screen time are loud and clear at this point. And there's very clear parameters that parents need to follow. Obviously social media is terrible for all kids, not just ADHD kids. Obviously you never let kids bring their phone into their bedroom at night by themselves. So no phones, no screens, you know, past a certain time, no phones alone in the bedroom. There's constant parameters you follow. But over the summer, you just can't let them choose to be on screens all day because they'll literally spend their entire summer on screens. I remember this past September talking to a parent and being like, so how was his summer? Like what was going on? And the mom at first was like, oh, he had a fantastic summer. He really wasn't arguing, wasn't fighting. You know, he really did a great job. And now I'm just nervous for the school year. And I was like, okay, well, what was he doing on a day to day basis? Were there any demands placed on him? Like what was he doing? And she's like, no, he was just in his room, just on his phone playing games. Like he kind of just spent all summer in the house. And I was like, okay, well, there you go. That's why, that's why his summer went so smoothly in terms of, you know, emotions and arguing and fighting because he was just kind of sitting in front of a screen all day entertaining himself and, you know, further training his brain towards instant gratification. So you need to make sure that you're not setting yourself up for failure in the school year and setting yourself up for failure long term for college and beyond and career and friendships by letting your child just sort of, you know, spend their entire lives in front of screens and hardwiring their brain towards instant gratification and constant entertainment. And Mike, let's mention as well that many kids think that summer is a time where they should have, you know, unlimited screen time. So one of the things that I used to do with my son is I would establish with him before the school year ended with the expectations were for screen time in the summer. So I would say this is what it could be on weekdays and this is what it could be on weekends. And was I a little more lenient with time? Yes. But but again, this needs to be established before the summer because if you don't and if you try to implement this after the summer started and they've had excessive screen time, well, then that's what we call reactive parrotein. You're reacting because you don't like what their behaviors become or whatever it is. So this is one of the expectations that need to be established before the summer. What is what is screen time and what are the expectations required for you to earn screen time? Because screen time is a privilege. It is not a right. And too often we see in families where screens are just treated as entitlements, not something that is earned. So what I teach in one of my courses is, you know, have daily expectations in place for behavior at home and for helping around the house. And things like screen time should be tied to meeting expectations, you know, rather than just treating screens as an entitlement as well. Correct. And I've already spoken to many, many families that have fully committed to a screen free summer. And I completely applaud them for their bravery in doing that. And they're going to reap those benefits of their child having a real childhood and real summer of real experiences, not on games, not on YouTube, not on screens. So I applaud them for doing that. And I think more and more parents are sort of following suit and seeing the benefits in doing that. I think a lot of parents still hear that idea and get instantly terrified of thinking of having to remove screens from their child in the summer. But if you do it, you're giving your child a massive, massive advantage and you're setting themselves up to have a very successful school year coming up because of the play based non-screen based experiences they're going to have over the summer. You're setting them up for future success. You're thinking more big picture. So if you have the ability to do that and you have sort of the courage to do that, I would strongly recommend you do that in every possible way. Obviously, that does not include things like family movie night and, you know, watching TV here and there. We're talking about, you know, the dangerous screens, the video games, the cell phone and the YouTube. All right. So moving on next, we have number three, face to face socialization with similar age peers is so important. You know, Mike, one of the things that concerns me and I think we need to do an episode about this soon is the amount of parents I'm seeing who reach out, you know, to, you know, to us, we've gotten questions for the podcast about the same things like, you know, there's a lot of bed influences, you know, at my daughter's school or my son is very susceptible to influence. So I'm thinking about homeschooling him. They're not thinking about homeschooling the child because that's what would be best for them educationally. They're thinking about homeschooling them because they want to control the environment and keep them away from similar age peers, which denies them an opportunity to learn how to navigate various situations in life. Okay. So I just want to explain to everyone, you know, we obviously we, you know, it's commendable that if you want to, you know, protect your kid and obviously that's your responsibility as a parent, but isolating them from other kids is not the way to do that. It's to teach them skills, teach them how to communicate, teach them your values. And that is the way to, to do this, not by isolating them. So that being said, you know, one of the things we often see in the summer is, you know, parents saying things like, well, my, you know, my, my son won't reach out to anybody, you know, or my daughter, you know, isn't, isn't, you know, doesn't see her friends from school over the summer. So for many kids with ADHD, they might like being around other kids, but I have a say and I call out of sight, out of mind. They might like being around them, but because the ADHD brain lives in the moment, they're not thinking about them. And they might not know how to reach out to other kids their age, or they might say things like kids don't hang out anymore, you know, things like that. So you can teach them how to reach out to someone. You and this is another thing I cover in my socially smarter courses is how to kind of structure that for them, provide the scaffolding because this is an executive function skill in itself, right? It's self advocacy skills. So that's number one. And number two, it's important for them to be around other kids their age, not just for the, you know, the, the socialization aspect. But what we know is that executive function skills develop naturally through unstructured social experiences. And that is really important for both, you know, younger kids as well as teenagers. So, you know, that could also look like just, you know, again, being a camp that is structured, but they're spending time with peers in real life. Some people, you know, for some of you, your kids might be okay with having more of an unstructured summer because they will be outside playing every day with kids, you know, on your street. Or, you know, they like doing things, whether, you know, maybe building something in your backyard for those, the few of you who have kids who can entertain themselves. That's amazing. And please know that is how they're developing executive function skills naturally. So that being said, one of the things Mike, I just want to mention is, you know, one, one of the things we see now, and I'm sure a lot of you see get these the popup ads on this for Facebook or Instagram is for, you know, virtual camps or online camps. I think I could speak for both of us and say, we are not fans and do not believe in online camps. Sitting in front of a screen is not face-to-face social interaction with peers. Yes. COVID is over. There's no excuses for virtual camps and doing those, doing that silly thing. So if you see that marketed, please continue to look elsewhere and continue your research. But this tip that we're discussing today in this podcast, this really is by far the most important one. Outdoor play is a must. It is not a question. It's not a suggestion. It is a must. 100 percent your child needs to be doing outdoor play because that is how executive functions are developed. And that is a childhood. You know, we, Ryan and I talk about it all the time, going to a counselor's office, going to a therapist's office and, you know, talking and talk therapy or play therapy. No, your kidneys to go out into the community and do real face-to-face play with peers. We've seen exactly what happened as the play-based childhood has decreased and this youth mental health crisis we're dealing with. This absolutely has to be a must. And if you are a family that lists certain things a child needs to do in order to earn their preferred tasks, outdoor play needs to be added to that, where they need to go outside for a certain number of hours and play. Ride bikes, go to an outdoor pool. If you live in an area that gets too hot, there's, you know, there's some indoor places they can go as long as they're face-to-face with peers. This is childhood that is needed. This is needed for their mental health, their growth, their executive functioning, their socialization skills, and for them to be ready for college and career and independent living. So one of the number one things you need to think about as a parent for this upcoming summer, how many hours is my child spending within the walls of the home and how many hours are they spending outside of the walls of the home? And that's the most important thing. So if they're spending more hours at home than outside of the home, that's a problem. And we need to bring the structure in, bring in the outdoor play. So before we start number four, I want to mention I am a dog sitting for a few days, a French bulldog. So if you hear snorting and weird sounds in the background, that would be her. So it might be me. It might be me breathing. It could be Mike, but it's most likely Lacey, the French bulldog. Number four is utilize the resources in your community. So I want to mention I've known kids Mike and I'm sure probably you have two who have like a community pool where they live and they could go there in the summer and basically they just hang out there all day. And you know, that is one of the things Mike where, you know, I think if kids can do that and not get into trouble and be okay, there's nothing wrong with that at all. And you know, being a member of like the community pool can be a really cost effective option, particularly if your kids, you know, like socializing and can entertain themselves there. So I think that's completely fine. You know, also like, for instance, Mike, I know, you know, in Arizona for a lot of people will join the YMCA because for kids who can be, you know, find, you know, hanging out the Y or the community center in their town and just playing basketball, you know, during the summer that works out great for them. We have here at the community center where I live, there's, you know, like a teen lounge and I know a lot of kids just go there in the summer. So those are inexpensive things. But again, your child has to be, you know, be able to regulate themselves enough to be able to handle that and not, you know, get into fights or, you know, start causing problems or whatever it is. So Mike, what else do you have for that under, you know, utilizing the resources in your community? So there's always different places for kids to go, you know, obviously riding bikes around the town is totally normal. You know, what so many parents who are listening right now need to do is just think about what you did at your current child's age and what you did over the summer. And that was totally okay. You know, before this age of phones, we were able to kind of just go out, you know, find our way around the town, find our way home and be home in time for, you know, dinner and wrapping up at night. And then we had a little bit of a night time or, you know, going home and figuring out, you know, when to put on sunscreen and when to, you know, get our bottle of water. You know, there was a time where we used to send kids to school without, you know, a full lunch, a water bottle and everything turned out fine. You know, like just think about them having those kinds of experiences. Just like what I was saying before, you need to think about how many hours is your child home versus how many hours are they outside of the house? If you're spending more hours outside of the house, there's a good chance they're developing crucial life skills, crucial executive functioning skills. So start to look at what's in your area. Do you have a local YMCA? You can drop them off at, pick them up. Are there, you know, programs at the local library that are that are probably pretty cost effective, you know, whatever it may be. But, you know, contact other parents that are in the same boat of kids that don't want to leave the house. Do whatever you need to do to make sure your child is having a real play based summer. I've been speaking to a lot of parents now that here in Pennsylvania, there's something called ESY, Extended School Year, where kids with IEP go to school over the summer. And that tends to end around 12, 1 o'clock. So it's a half day thing where they still have half of the day. You know, don't get stuck in that mindset of, oh, they're at school all day. When they get home, they're exhausted and they should just be able to, you know, sit at home all day. Absolutely not. Once, so basically their day starts at 1 p.m. And you should still expect them to go outside and have a real play based summer. And Mike, let's also clarify for people that ESY, Extended School Year, is not meant to be a replacement for, you know, summer camp. ESY, the intention with it is to prevent skill regression. So you cannot just say if you're taught as an IEP, you know, that, oh, well, they're going to go to ESY for the summer. It doesn't work like that. You know, there has to be a reason to believe or evidence that there will be significant skill regression over the summer. So I just want to clarify that because I think people sometimes do want to use ESY as daycare or camp and school districts don't go for that. So exactly. And there is a way to set it up with the school where the bus ride home from ESY does not bring them directly home. The bus drops them off at a camp. You can do that. You can get them set up in the IEP. So ESY ends at one o'clock. The bus comes and picks them up from the school and brings them to the local camp because many parents work nine to five jobs or beyond five p.m. And you don't know what to do with your child from one p.m. On get them in a camp after Extended School Year summer summer school. By the way, everyone, if you're watching on YouTube, this is Lacey. He's my handyman's dog. So I'm watching her. The next one is summer is not time for a medication vacation. So a lot of times what we hear is, you know, for the prescriber, particularly through, you know, a pediatrician will say, OK, well, just stop the meds in the summer because they're not in school. You know, one of the things I want to mention is that I sometimes might find that pediatricians, some pediatricians, certainly not all tend to see, you know, ADHD medications. They tend to think of them as academic performance enhancement drugs. And that's not what they're intended for. And too often we see kids who go to summer camp or whatever it is and they're unmedicated and they are not successful. And, you know, there are the same amount of demands at summer camp than there are at school. Maybe they're not academic, but there are social demands. There are executive function demands. And having a child with who is typically medicated, go unmedicated to, you know, a camp situation or even an unstructured situation. Like at a community pool, that is, you know, just potentially setting them up for failure. So please understand, even if your pediatrician says, you know, they don't need meds over the summer because they're not in school, meds are not just for school. Meds are to help you stay regulated to help you with your executive functioning, you know, and things like that. So just please keep that in mind. Yes, it is always incredibly shocking to me when I hear that doctors, neuropsychs, psychiatrists are still giving that recommendation of medication only on school days, not over the summer, not on weekends, because that once again is based on incredibly outdated information. ADHD is not an academic-based disorder. ADHD is not an attention disorder. It is executive functioning skills for all areas of life, academic, home, and social. And academic isn't even the most common symptom of ADHD. It's home executive functioning and self-regulation towards parents. So, no. So if your child's on medication, they're on medication, and you follow the recommendations on that bottle in terms of what is best in terms of, you know, prescribing that medication and administering it. It's not about just so they can pay attention in class, listen to lectures, and take good notes. And the last thing I want to say about this is one of my favorite lines that I heard at the Medical ADHD Conference one year from one of the foremost researchers in the country on ADHD. And what he said was, we need to stop treating ADHD medications as if they're Tylenol, meaning that you take them every day. You don't take them just, you know, occasionally. When your child is, you know, older and, you know, we're an adult, and if they choose to do that, then that's fine. But for right now, if it's helping them be successful in school, you want that continuity, you know, during the summer as well. So just keep that in mind. So before we get started on number six, Mike, I think we should just both talk about what we offer in the summer. So I'll start off with mentioning that I created a camp that is going into its ninth summer. It's called Trip Camp, and it has a location in Marguerite, New Jersey and Columbus, Ohio. And it is for boys with ADHD. It's a one week camp where families come and stay in the area for the week and the guys go out and do trips during the week and do some learning. So even though I'm not involved with camp anymore, they're still using my curriculum and you can learn about it at ADHDTripCamp.com. And Mike, why don't you talk about what you guys offer at Grown Now in the summer? Yeah. So we run our Grown Now EF camp, our executive functioning camp. We are going into our seventh year of doing it, and it's been very successful. And this is the first year we're expanding it outside of the Philadelphia region. We are doing two weeks in the Washington, D.C. region, and it's all based on it's a real executive functioning intensive. Ryan's been a huge help. He's he's the he's the camp guru. So he's been a huge help in helping us set it up and get it all up and running and successful. And it's we do it with all ages and we have different ages for different weeks. And we pair the kids based on age and skill level and interest. And they practice executive functioning skills in the natural environment. So it's it's very similar to a trip camp where kids go all throughout the community and practice these skills in real world places. So we've had a really successful summer so far and already looking forward to this one. Mike, why don't you talk a little bit about the age groups that you that you guys take? Sure. So we have so we start we pretty much tend to split it up between elementary, middle, high. And we also have one week for younger college students as well. So we split it up based on different, you know, sectors of age groups. But we do a family interviews and we have an application process to make sure the students are being placed in the particular areas and the trips the students go on are all age appropriate based on the skills they need for their age and what's expected of them at that point in their lives. So obviously high school students are doing high school based things. The college students are doing college based things and elementary and middle are really having, you know, really good play based experiences. And for trip camp, one of the things we do is we do two separate age groups. So we have certain weeks for entering grades six through eighth. So that is basically, you know, ages 11 to 13. And then we have other weeks for entering grades ninth through 11. So that's basically ages 14 to 16. So that's how we break it up in terms of age. And Mike, why don't you give everyone the web since I, you know, mentioned the website for trip camp? Why don't you give everyone the website? Sure. So it's right on grownow80hd.com. If you go right to the main website, click on services on top, go down to executive functioning camp. So it's grownow80hd.com slash ADHD kids summer camp. All right. So number six, our final one is independent experiences away from home. So this is so important for all kids, not only because it builds independence, it's an opportunity to work on executive functioning. And as we know, kids develop self confidence through recognizing their abilities, you know, within themselves and having independent experiences away from home is a way to develop a sense of pride and a sense of independence. So there's a lot of ways this can look. It doesn't need to look one way. It could be, you know, attending a one week camp like, you know, scout camp, which is a lot of kids do in the summer or, you know, one week church camp, things like that. But there's other ways as well, such as, you know, visiting family, you know, staying with an aunt and uncle somewhere, even, you know, taking a flight, you know, by themselves, those kind of things. And one of the things we often see is that parents of kids with ADHD tend to be very hesitant to let their kids have independent experiences away from home. And typically that is the parents own anxiety or they think, you know, well, he's immature, so he can't handle it. Or, you know, she won't last without me for a week. And that's just absolutely not true because the reality is we see many kids with ADHD who go to overnight summer camps and are very successful or, you know, go to the camps I mentioned, like, you know, one week camps and are successful. So your kids can survive without you, right, whether that's at a camp or whether that's with a relative. So that's really important. So, Mike, what do you want to add to this about independent experiences away from home? Yeah. And, you know, you know, let's be honest in terms of overall big picture for the vast majority of ADHD kids. The vast majority of ADHD behaviors happen when kids are home within the walls of the home because it remains secretive and within the family structure and around parents. So the worst behaviors are when they're home around their parents. So they're going to develop the most executive functioning skills are going to make the most progress away from their parents. So the ADHD kids do a very nice job responding to accountability from other people. This is that, you know, utilize your enlist supporters and, you know, bring in your community and bring in your family structure. That's so important. And for the vast majority of your child's life, they are going to have to follow directives from people other than mom and dad. So getting them used to following directives from, you know, bosses and supervisors for supervisors and teachers and professors, whoever it may be. That's going to be very, very important. So it's not, you know, mom and dad saying, put your shoes on, get dressed, brush your teeth, go to bed, wake up. You know, that's only a very small portion of their lives. You know, if we can help them to develop their executive functions by being accountable to other people and getting out of their comfort zone, that's going to bring about a lot of progress. And let's also be honest on the flip side of things. Summer is a great time for parents to get a little bit of a break as well. So whether you send them, you know, to a camp for the majority of the day or you send them to go live with an aunt and uncle for the summer for a couple of weeks, whatever you're doing, it's very important for you as the parent to get a mental health break. And you should do that 100% guilt-free. It may be hard to get your kid out of the house. You may have to step into your parental authority and really make that happen. But if you can do it, it will be a much needed break not only for you, the parent, but also the child to be in a new environment where they can be held accountable and they can practice new things that they'll be able to use for the rest of their lives. And Mike, to your point, and I'll finish with this, you know, I have a saying that kids need to be held accountable by other people besides their parents. That is so important. Not not just for their, you know, future job skills, but they need to learn how to take directions from other people, you know, and manage demands placed on them by other people. And one of the things Mike, I'll say, and maybe this is not the best place to end, but I want to be honest about this. Some of the kids, Mike, I have seen who struggle the most with this, with, you know, taking direction, working, you know, with peers and groups. Yeah. And so on are the kids, Mike, who have had very little exposure to other people besides their parents. So so important that your kid learns to, you know, have independent experiences away from you so they can realize how capable they are. But also learn to take direction from other people as well. Exactly. And this all goes back to what we started at the beginning of this episode. If the ADHD child or teen had it their way 24 hours a day at home in front of a screen, never leaving the house, parents being the only people they forcibly have to interact with. And that's not helpful. That's why executive functioning skills get further delayed because they're not out and about interacting with others, learning reciprocal 50-50 relationships, learning perspective, taking skills, future thinking, delayed gratification, mental flexibility by interacting with real people in real time, doing real play based, real social based experiences. And, you know, mom and dad are those unconditional love relationships that the ADHD brain tends to really stretch thin and take a lot of advantage of. The ADHD brain needs conditional relationships because that's 99.9% of life. They need these conditional relationships, these 50-50 reciprocal relationships where they can be pushed and they could be flexible and they can share ideas, be vulnerable to each other, work with others. And that only happens when they leave the house. So once again, the number one thing you can do this summer is count how many hours are they home, how many hours are they not home. And if they're spending more hours not home, then you're having a successful summer. So before we finish up, we want to mention if you have a question you would like us to answer on a future episode, please feel free to leave a positive review for us on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. Send us a screenshot of it to the ADHD Parenting Podcast at gmail.com along with your question. Please make sure to include your child's age and medication regimen as well in your question because that might affect how we answer. And we will be happy to answer your question in a future episode. But again, we ask that you please leave a positive review for us on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. Take a screenshot and show us. Just, you know, that's the only thing that we ask for in exchange. So thank you so much for listening and we will talk to you soon. Take care. Thanks for listening. To learn more about Mike's practice, Grow Now ADHD, please visit his website, grownowadhd.com. To learn about the services Ryan provides, please visit ADHDdude.com. You can find Mike on Instagram at grownowadhd and Ryan on the ADHD Dude YouTube channel. We'd love to hear your feedback or questions, so feel free to contact us at the ADHD Parenting Podcast at gmail.com. The ADHD Parenting Podcast and content posted by Grow Now ADHD or ADHD Dude are presented solely for general information and educational purposes. Our goal is to provide valuable insights and knowledge, not to replace professional services. Mike and Ryan cannot provide clinical consultation or free advice through social media or other forms of communication. The information on this podcast is not a substitute for professional advice. If you or your child have any medical or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professionals.