More Like Pete Hague-seth

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And as one thing Bombas knows, it's feet. They're a feet freaks. They're freaks for freaks. I just bought a pair. I bought a bunch of pairs of cushioned no-show socks. Because it was actually the one part of my sock drawer that wasn't Bombas. And I'm throwing them out. I've worn these no-show socks down to the nub. And I'm very excited. I just ordered them and I can't wait to get them because I'm going to wear them all the time. And that'll be the last socks that are not Bombas that will be Bombas. So we're huge fans. I truly wear them all the time. They are the best socks. Look, every pair you purchase, they donate one to somebody facing homelessness. Head on over to bombas.com slash love it. Use code love it for 20% off your first purchase. It's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash love it. Code love it at checkout. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It Live from Dynasty typewriter. You got a great show for you tonight. Trixi Mattel is here to spread some holiday queer. Apart him on charlas here to help the anxious find their holiday cheer. Then we all share our picks for the official love it or leave it gifts of the year. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Woo! A new Gallup hole found that President Trump's approval rating has slid to 36%. The lowest it's been since Trump left office in 2021. But hey, don't think of it as the lowest approval rating of your second term. Think of it as the lowest approval rating of your second term so far. Yeah. Here is the deeply unpopular president himself falling asleep in Tuesday's cabinet meeting while Marco Rubio was addressing him directly. We're started. It never would have happened if you've been president. But this war is going on. And the president is trying to end it. Not because listen, we got a million things to focus on in the world as a country. But he's the only leader in the world that can help end it. If an ass is kissed in the woods, and no one is awake to feel it, does it even count? At least Biden's team had the common decency to paint pupils on his closed eyelids. Meanwhile, as Trump's approval falls and his grip on the party loosens, Republicans are turning on each other. They're at each other's throats and not in the Nancy Reagan way. New York Congresswoman Elise Stefano has been publicly blasting House Speaker Mike Johnson. And Mike Johnson does not like being blasted. The idea of being blasted completely repulsed him. Stefano was furious at Johnson. When a must-pass defense spending bill no longer included her provision to require the FBI to notify Congress when opening a counterintelligence investigation into candidates for federal office, calling it a scandalous disgrace that Republicans got rolled by the Dems and Deep State. Say what now said the powerful and unstoppable Democrats at a party to celebrate only losing an attendancy house raised by nine points? But then Johnson claimed he had no idea what Stefano was going on about. Well, that is false. I don't exactly know why Elise won't just call me. I texted her yesterday. I wrote her and I said, what are you talking about? This hasn't even made it to my level. I don't know why she's frustrated with me. I literally had nothing to do with it. Why is a Republican member of the House making a big public spectacle instead of trying to actually resolve a problem? That's your question. Why do birds shit on cars, Mike? For the same reason Elise Stefano has taken a shit on your car, it's who they are. It's Stefano clap back on social media. Just more lies from the speaker. This is his preferred tactic to tell members when he gets caught torpedoing the Republican agenda. What's worse, Johnson sent a second torpedo after some of the agenda survived the first attack. Oh. Oh. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Your reaction's cracked. Stefano isn't the only female Republican clashing with Johnson. New York Times reported this week that Nancy Mase is so fed up with Johnson and the way women are being treated under his leadership in the House, she considered meeting Marjorie Taylor Green to discuss retiring early too. My God, it's happening. They're inventing feminism. Unaware that it already evolved elsewhere. Like how crabs have appeared independently in several different places? Nobody disturbed them. Somebody throw a sheet over Judith Butler's enclosure. And yet, as Republicans are unraveling, they're becoming increasingly radical, which makes sense. You don't drink less the day your wife leaves you. Last week, two West Virginia National Guard members were shot in downtown DC, and one of them was killed in Afghan National who once served on a counterterrorism unit operated by the CIA has been charged in the deadly and terrible attack. In the wake of the shooting, the administration announced that it was suspending asylum decisions, halting visas for all Afghans, including those who assisted the US as war effort, and re-examining green card applications for people from every country of concern. This is obviously what they had already wanted and planned to do, and this terrible shooting is only a useful pretext. Holding an entire group of people responsible for the actions of one to range person is never acceptable, though I do think it should be legal to crash into cyber trucks. During Trump's cabinet meeting Tuesday, he also attacked representative Elon Omar and other immigrants from Somalia calling them garbage. She's garbage. Her friends are garbage. These are people that work. These are people that say, let's go. Come on, let's make this place great. What is this delusion that immigrants don't work? They grow our food, take care of our children, build houses, lie motionless, and are Donald Trump on a bi-weekly basis as per their marital agreement. As they've been busy demonizing millions of immigrants, we've learned more about the administration's lawless murders on the high seas. The Washington Post reported that the military fired on a suspected drugboat in the Caribbean on September 2nd, and then on Hegsets orders to kill everyone on board fired again, killing survivors who were, according to the post, clinging to the wreckage. Killing survivors of a shipwreck is what's known in military and legal circles as a war crime, with penalties ranging from prison time to a spot on the rotation on the five. It can't be right. The White House first denied the report, then defended the double tap while also trying to distance Pete Hegseth from it, claiming that it was actually Admiral Frank Mitch Bradley, who gave the order for the second strike. And in a real curve, all the White House suggested that Frank Mitch Bradley may have been responsible for Pete Hegsets' extramarital affairs as well. Meanwhile, as the White House was claiming, we have to defend our country from drugs by blowing up random boats in the ocean, Trump pardoned former Honduran president Juan Orlando Hernandez, who was serving a 45-year prison sentence for drug and weapons trafficking. That was a Biden horrible witch hunt, which was a lot of people in Honduras espionage to do that. And I did, I feel very good about it. Two problems here. One, the investigation that led to Hernandez's conviction took place during Trump's first term, and it was led for a time by Maga Loyalist Emil Bavae. Two, if Biden had actually done any witch hunting, we might not be in this fucking mess. Biden couldn't catch a fucking witch because she stuck a broom up his ass. Old loser. Pete Hegsets, for his part, responded to the war crime allegations by trolling with an AI joke about a children's book. He posted this sweet turtle Franklin in an AI cover that said Franklin targets Nercote Terrace. Look, Hegsets, not a series person, so he thought he could handle this by owning the lips, but a lot of Republicans began to express concerns too. And of course Hegsets can't tell the truth about the whole thing, which is when he said make it a double, he was just thirsty. In Tuesday's cabinet meeting, Hegsets went full-symp and said that a couple of hours passed before he learned there was a second strike and said in response to a reporter's question, Oh, I see nothing. I was not here. I did not even get up this morning. I apologize. That was a clip from Hogan's Heroes. Here's what he actually said. I did not personally see survivors, but I stand because the thing was on fire. I was exploded in fire, smoke, you can't see it. You got digital. This is called the fog of war. Hegsets proceeded to mix up a fresh batch of fog of wars, which appeared to be blackberry stole and that caffeinated paneroleminate that kills you. And if Pete's Wee couldn't get any more drinkin' alone, the Defense Department Inspector General on Tuesday released its anticipated report and concluded that, yes, when Secretary of Defense Pete Hegsets shared sensitive information about an ongoing military operation in a signal group chat, he had in fact fucked up. That scandal is big, but this is bigger, sexted Pete Hegsets to a woman he met in Phoenix and somehow Atlantic editor-in-chief Jeffrey Goldberg. In response to the report, Hegsets said, quote, no classified information, total exoneration, case closed, which is, of course, the opposite of what the report found. It's based on our review. We conclude that information the Secretary sent from his personal cell phone, match the operational information sent is classified. We compared the signal group to the one that was in the office. It's based on our review. We conclude that information the Secretary sent was in classified emails. It goes on. And just as an aside, apparently Vice President J.D. Vance later wrote in the leaked signal chat, which again was used to share information about impending air strikes in Yemen, quote, this chat's kind of dead, anything going on. That's real. Let's run this guy in 2028. I actually cannot wait to see what he's going to do. I'm going to do a review of this. I'm going to do a review of this. This guy in 2028, I actually cannot wait. I think it's going to be fair. What a loser. As the administration unravels, it becomes trapped by its own logic. This is not a movement that is capable of admitting error. And that means doubling down and defending the indefensible. The failures actually feed the extremism. It took like a day to go from the Washington Post to fake news to there was a second strike, and it was good. You said that the follow-up strike was lawful. What law is it that allows no survivors? The strike conducted on September 2nd was conducted in self-defense to protect Americans in vital United States interests. You can't defend yourself from a product. You were going to eagerly purchase. You can't drone strike Costco because you can't stop buying palettes at peanut butter stuffed pretzels because the peanut butter allows you to convince yourself it's protein. This is the war crime equivalent of get these fries away from me. Here's Megan Kelly's reaction. So I really do kind of not only want to see them killed in the water, whether they're on the boat or in the water, but I'd really like to see them suffer. I would like Trump and Hexeth to make it last a long time so that they lose a limb and bleed out a little. We're not meant to see this. It's witnessing someone's interior horrors. Like when that old Republican guy was posting nice shoes beneath that twink's butthole, remember that? So as the administration unravels, becomes more extreme, but there is a countervailing force. Becoming more extreme leads to more unraveling. Leaks are part of this, officials within the defense department told the Washington Post that they were increasingly concerned that the Trump administration was throwing Admiral Bradley under the bus. On Thursday, Bradley brief congressional leaders in a classified meeting, telling lawmakers that the survivors of the boat strike were attempting to continue their drug run and were viable targets, not defenseless men in the water. Their last words, please tell my wife, I love trafficking drugs. So lesson, all right, if you love your job, you never work a day in your life. You're right. I know I'm wrong, but it still sucks to have you react this way. Also this week, we got a leaked assessment in which 24 FBI sources described an FBI in turmoil, a rudderless ship under cash, Patel. How rudderless, asked Pete Higgseth, breathing a little heavy, his finger hovering above a button that he was told by a deputy is connected to the coolest bomb ever, but is actually just an old garage door opener. In that leaked report, assembled by current and former FBI agents on behalf of Congress, when Patel arrived in Provo, Utah, after the assassination of Charlie Kirk, he refused to get off the plane without wearing an FBI raid jacket in his size. And they only had largest and extra largest on the plane. This is real. So a female agent ultimately gave Patel her size medium jacket. And he was right to do this. Imagine Cash Patel being photographed in a two large jacket. Why would all lose confidence in him? So he's got the jacket. But then Patel complained that it was missing the Velcro patches on the sleeves that would say FBI. And he also refused to leave the plane until SWAT members removed the patches from their own jackets and put them on his jacket. While this was unfolding Patel unleashed an expletive-laden tirade over perceived blunders, which I am just now learning is not what you do when you're underlings. Fail to get the patches you demanded for your tiny coat. And I am sorry, guys. I am sorry. The report also describes Patel's second-in-command, conservative, podcast, or and former secret service agent, Dan Bangeino, as being, and this is a quote, something of a clown. He even went to the doctor because he was feeling so depressed about all of this. And the doctor told him that if nothing else was working, there's this new clown running the FBI who was really making everybody laugh. And then Dan looked up into feet and said, but doctor, I am Bangeino. That was good. But doctor, I am Bangeino. That killed me. And you got you reacted as much as it deserves. But it just, as an idea, it feels good. And as there's turmoil at the FBI and leaks from across the administration, a whole slew of Trump's political prosecutions are falling apart, too. This week an appeals court ruled that Trump's hand selected New Jersey US attorney, Alina Habba, has been serving illegally since she was installed without Senate confirmation and New Jersey, even the US attorneys, fall off the back of a truck. Comes a week after a judge throughout Trump's indictments against former FBI director James Comey and New York attorney general, Tish James, because Trump's US attorney for the Eastern Virginia district, Lindsey Halligan, was also serving illegally. Then on Thursday, a grand jury in Virginia once again refused to indict Tish James for their alleged mortgage fraud. There's no great public support for Trump's authoritarian project. Not in the public, not in the government. They just don't have the guys. Scratch the surface of any Trump agency. And one layer below the cash portals and Pete's Hegseth is a body of angry disgruntled people just like you and me. They worry about keeping their jobs and their integrity. They try to watch TikToks in the shower, even though water on the screen makes it jump around. They wear a new pair of socks every day. And at the end of the day, they put those socks in the trash. Some just like us. Look, I'm not going to pretend any of this is easy. I'm not in the military or the FBI or the DOJ. Hell, I'm barely a women's size medium. But the more isolated extreme in buffoonish, this Trump clique becomes. The harder it will be to find people willing to go along with it, to bet their futures on this Confederacy of Schmucks, until only the biggest morons and zealots remain. And a lot of their knees still hurt from climbing the capital stairs that one time, because it was so cold and they hadn't stretched. And look, if you don't have any integrity, your backs against the wall, it might make sense to throw your lot in with Trump. Get a pardon, grab a job. You never would have gotten in the rational world. Use a bribe to get ahead. And it might work, or at least it might seem that way. But you know, I think it helped us understand this. Franklin, remember him? Because our Franklin has a great new series of books to help understand what's coming. First, we have Franklin breathes a sigh of relief when he receives a presidential pardon. Followed by, Franklin goes out for drinks to celebrate, but something doesn't feel right. The last feel for us. Do these people like me? LAUGHTER Franklin has a nong sense that the little bolt of doubt and fear that occasionally pierces his public and private explanations for his conduct is Jesus. LAUGHTER Franklin grows old with all of its challenges, but none of the rewards of wisdom and contentment. Franklin rides the bus. We got to do something for sales. All of this is sad and horrifying and hard to joke about. Kamala had to just let the mass slip for one moment and shout on a hot mic. Of course, he's old and terrible. And then we could have gone back to making fun of celebrities paying to get their kids into USC. Remember that? That was fun. But instead, it's war crimes. Xenophobia. We got a great show for you tonight. CHEERING Coming up next, Trixie Mattel says, tis the season to be gay, and also all the other seasons. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE We're right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It Or Leave It coming up. Love It Or Leave It is brought to you by AG1. AG1 is the daily health drink that combines your multi-vitamin, pre- and probiotics, super-fuse and antioxidants into one simple green scoop. It's one of the easiest things you can do to support your body every day. 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You know, just if you start every day making sure you get pre-biotics and probiotics, some vitamins and greens plus some protein in there. You throw some protein in there. You know, you're starting the day off, right? That's why I like to start the day off with a smoothie, you know, with all these things in it. AG1 is their best offer ever. If you're head to drinkag1.com slash love it, you'll get the welcome kit a morning person hat, a year supply of vitamin D3 plus K2, an AG1 flavor sampler, and you'll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free, which has been a game changer for a lot of people in their nightly routines. That's $126 in free gifts for new subscribers. That's drinkag1.com slash love it. And we're back! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Please welcome to the Sage Singer icon, Drag Race All Stars winner, the one and only, Trixie Mattel! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Wow! Hi! Wow! Wow! Wow! Hi! I do want to say, top, I was flattered that I saw the last one. I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that top, I was flattered that I saw you in drag as me this week. Can we show the clip? What? You guys in my house for the holiday time. I can't wait to tell you. Can I tell you hello, welcome back to the channel? Oh, God. Can I tell you, this was a huge wake up call for me. You know when people talk about hitting rock bottom? What? Like, first of all, he walked in and I said, I love your shirt. I think I have it. People keep saying we dress alike, which was also a huge wake up call for me. But somebody said your jeans are so millennial tight if you fart you would break your ankle. I was going to ask you about this because I've... Because here's the thing. The pants fashion has changed around us. It has. And I know that. It's not like I'm not aware of it. Right. I know it's happening. I know. But don't you struggle to put on the wider-like pants? I feel like I don't know how to do it. I feel like I'm doing it wrong when I put on the wider-like pants. I feel like a clown in them. I feel like I'm in guys and dolls. We kind of are right now. Do you have a lot of very young fans? Because let me tell you, I have all like Gen Z, like girl fans, let me tell you, they'll fucking tell you. They'll show up in the comments so fast being like, I'm so embarrassed of you. I'm getting my tattoo removed today. Like they really... Wow. And I guess this is honestly, these pants are from 2012. So they look that way. I guess I'm dressing to the left in this picture and that's kind of fun for everybody. I think we all know what sells on YouTube. But I've actually been wearing wider pants kind of exploring. But I do feel when I wear wide-like pants, I do feel like Drew Barrymore, like showing up to the high school. And she's like, I'm 25 years old. I'm a reporter for the Chicago Sun Times. You know what I mean? Like, I love that movie because it has a similar undercurrent of horror in the same way the film big does. Right. The film big, it's like, what's going on? This is a child. Also, that poor mother, she's in a horror movie that you never get to see. Right. But it's supposed to be light and fun. And it is. It never been kissed. My God. Thank God for that teacher that she turned out to be an adult. No kidding. What a mess. But that's like how many times in like, something like at heart or gentle when someone's having like a gay crisis because someone's cross-dressing and they don't know. Like, am I gay? No, it's Barbara Streisand. You know, which by the way, maybe, right? If you're a guy and you fall in love with Barbara Streisand, I wouldn't say that you should exactly sign up for heterosexuality. You know, maybe such an important point. But, and it wasn't who was her boyfriend. Oh, I remember, she's at the baseball game and she's waiting for him to come kiss her and she, and they had, she kisses, yeah. They kiss. Oh, it would never happen in gay world. Never been felt. That's what it would be. Yeah. Yeah. Did you get that? OK, just think about it. I'm sure, but you got that. They got it. So tricky. Yeah. You've built an empire. Yeah, I guess I have. International touring drag star. The lesbians have built my empire. Yes. Brick by brick. A successful cosmenix line, a hotel in Palm Spring, a TV show about said hotel, popular YouTube channel, Bonnaroo. Bonnaroo. And most importantly, you have a podcast. Yes, the ball's in the beautiful. So I was thinking about where you are now and then remembering you on the first season you were on drag race. And I wonder, have you gone back and looked at it? Do you ever see clips of it? And what do you think of it? Found footage. Yeah, in Found Footage. The Blair Witch Project. Yeah, that's right. You know, sometimes I wish I had hair and I watched that and I go, yeah, it wasn't fucking doing anything with it. You know what I mean? It was just, I don't know. I mean, I was 24 when I got on a drag race. I'd never even, well, I'd never seen a television camera. Something they don't tell you about that experience is, none of us have any, we're, we work in an industry where we're in nightclubs taking wet money from people, you know, we're not television stars. We don't understand what's happening. Even for me, not to be like naive, I showed up in the fact that the work room wasn't a building and it was a sound stage. It was like, you know, fucking liars. And you're lying to the fucking world. I mean, I really couldn't believe it. RuPaul talking in the ear, I was like, who is she talking to? I mean, I didn't understand how anything worked. Really? Yeah. But, you know, I've made it here to the Dynasty typewriter of school night. And so, this is huge. The other thing that's been interesting since you were first on drag race is how it's changed to be more welcoming to trans drag stars. And the way that's kind of changed drag a little bit because it has to be about something other than competing to be the most woman, right? It becomes more about the performance. And I'm wondering what that feels like as someone that was doing it while that transition was happening. So, from my experience, I mean, I started doing drag in Milwaukee when I was 18, 1920. Almost all the working drag queens were like trans women of color. So, in my real world experience with drag, most, the people we worship, the people we wished we were like we're all the trans girls in the show. So, if anything, it was like drag race kind of catching up to what the reality is. When you go work in drag shows, that's what's really happening. So, now it just all matches. It's all congruent. What was I gonna ask you? Oh, yeah. Are you gonna ask me if I'm trans? Um, I don't think so. I did Larry King show and he asked me three times if I was trans. Three times. And he has eight P-bodies. So, after the third time, I was like, Am I? I was like, what is he know? All right. But he was really cool and he, um, no prompter sat down and just read my whole bio from memory. He really was like, he was like that. It was cool. I met him once when he had moved over to like, or a TV. He had kind of moved along. He just kept doing what he would do. He just pointed at a camera and he was like, Shaboygan, hello. Yeah. And it was interesting being in a room with him, Larry King, because he was from the television. Yeah. And so old. He was very old when I saw him. He was really old and he, um, they told me they said, you know, he's really actually like, you know, he's a lot about queer stuff and gay stuff. They said, but don't forget, you know, he's like in his 80s. He just might not know everything. Um, but he was super nice and cool. My assistant, my makeup artist had green here and he goes, you're hair's green. And then I didn't, you guys, if you go watch, I wish you had this clip. It's me and him talking and I'm just in drag. And I'm like, so disconnected from reality, because it's him sitting there, right? And he really sits like the South Park. Like, he's sitting like that with the, and he wears the cute little sneakers. Um, and he, he, um, we're talking and I go, I say something like, you know, RuPaul, like, teaches you to not just eat the corn, but grow the corn. I tried to make some kind of metaphoric corn. Yeah, you gotta eat because you can't just eat it. You gotta grow it. Yeah, I don't know. I think I got, I have a quarter native and I think I got real feisty about. I don't know what I was doing. And I go, is a long pause and he's staring and I go, do I corn? And he goes, and he goes, yeah. On the cob, yeah. And I just go love corn. And then it's like cut. And it's in the interview. Y'all should go watch it. You DJed for Chapel Rone in Los Angeles? I did. I sure did. We have crossover audience if you can believe it. Yes. You know, she was a, she was backstage with me and, you know, she, I'll tell you what, she treats the, and this show treats us very good too, but her show treats the drag queens like, oh my God, like I had a yurt, an outdoor yurt with like couches and whatever I wanted. If we not have the yurt, then we don't have the yurt. Kennedy, what the fuck? We said yurt. I know. You know what a yurt is. I want to fly private from Hollywood, okay? And she, you know, I'm not kidding. I'm like six feet out of drag and she's, and yes, but she's actually like here, right? And, you know, I've been a sportive for a long time and I said, you know, you're living a lot of lesbians fantasies right now having your face in my boobs. And then I was like, come to think of it, I think I'm living a lot of lesbians fantasies by having my boobs in your face. We just kind of laughed and then I went and did the show. She's such a talented performer. She's gifted, oh my God, she really ate girl. She really ate. She really ate. It is. It isn't throwing your own mini music festival in Pasadena, sold out both nights. Fears, you know, else was there Betsy Johnson? Wow. She was there and you know, I always say she looks like Katia. But I've never seen her in person and she walked in and I was with a friend and I said, look, Katia's here. And he was like, yeah, she looks good. I was like, that's not her. Cause they looked so alike, the little Bob with the red lip and yeah, she looked great though. But you know, oh my God, one time I was at the out 100 last year and I was DJing the event so I was in the green room and that's where they put the fancy people, you know, and Cynthia Riva was there. And oh my God, this is a two part story. Do you remember the lady who interviewed them who was like holding space, remember her? She and I are standing outside the green room and they like, I'm in drag and she's her and they're like, sorry, we don't know if, and I said, you guys let her in, she's in queer media. And then and she goes like, oh, hi, Trixie. Cause at the time, number, she was like, I'm in queer media. Love that. But then I saw Cynthia Rube backstage and she was so nice because she loves drag of course, right? She's, she's sparkling all over herself. And she comes up and I go, you're gonna have a great year. What the fuck does that mean? You're in wicked. Yeah, you're gonna have a, but I was trying to say like, congrats on your success but I said you're gonna have a great year. Like she's my, like I'm sending her your book. What is that? Then what? So then I just like froze and all I like was in the car in the way home like, you're gonna have a great year. To Elphaba, great. It's so, it's also, it's obviously nothing. What you said, it's nothing. But it's also kind of has a cockiness to it. Like like Cynthia Rubeau arrived at the out 100 and was like, I'm not sure how next year's gonna go. Oh, I know. I know. Yeah, she knows she's gonna have a great year. She knew that already. I what I should have said is congrats on your success. That's what I were gonna meant. You're gonna have a great year. I think it's, you can have a great year. Kathy Griffin has a line which is that if you say to congrats to anyone in Los Angeles, even a stranger on the street, they don't say what for, they say thank you. Because they're all in their mind but having an amazing, amazing moment. Everyone's always in their moment and I always love that. Completely and I trust her because she wears wigs. I was at her house and she has a wig wall like a drag queen. I said, you better fucking work bitch. Because think about it. These girls who tour comedy, why wouldn't you have a wig of your hair? Why are you styling your own hair every day? Why am I doing it? Why aren't you doing it? We could get you a unit. I was with Brittany Brosky today and I was like, you should get a wig of your hair. Like why are you, you know, that women's Hollywood event that was at, the red carpet was at 8 AM this week. I said, girl, don't you wish you could roll a bed and just like, you know, because these real girls sitting this chair and they burn your fucking hair today. How long do you get a wig? What kind of wig do you want? This more. This hair? Yeah. Oh. Well, I just, but you know you can do anything, right? Yeah. LAUGHTER I just kidding. Like I'm in a position to make fun of men's hair, right? No, no. I receive what you're saying and I should think about it. What could I be? I don't know. I don't know because all I've been doing is fighting a war against this. Right. Trying to make this what it could be. I'm not imagining anything else that could be in its stead. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Well, you could have a, men's wigs are a little harder to pull off in a convincing way. I mean, watch Netflix movie. You know what I mean? Cotton, I do that show I like to watch. And we regularly are sitting on that couch watching these Hollywood million dollar, billion dollar budget movies who don't have this good of a hair lines as us. And I'm always like, Bueller, like is this thing on? There's also stuff where they, when you update it to the 4K. Oh, they can't handle it. People can't handle all this 4K. I think that they shot hunting wives on a VHS from 1980 because when I sat on my little couch, spoiler alert, Cotton, I recently got to watch that. And they pulled up hunting wives, this lesbian legacy program. It's really that if these walls could talk with guns, right? Love it. Yeah. When these bitches rolled out with their Hollywood toy and costume hard front wigs on, and I'm a deep, like, I love my little anachraments so much because I love Watchmen. I love the comeback. And I love that movie Final Girl. And I just, I saw her at the Emmys and I was like, you don't know me. I know you. Like I'm so free. And you're gonna have a great year. No. Oh, you're gonna have a great year. You're gonna have a great year. Oh, the comeback is coming back. I know. I know. I know. I know. You want to fuck holding space, bitch. I believe that that second-to-last episode of the first season with the cupcake is one of the best episodes in a history of television. Yeah. It is. It didn't let her be in the picture. OK. I have something else I want to talk to you about. OK, sorry. We just scream. But you guys are gay, you know. They're fine. They can handle it. I saw this TikTok that was like being gay means you can enter any room and just scream something and everyone cheers. People walk in and they're like spin-damp and they're like, woo, you know. It is a fun part of it. Yeah, the only fun part. So you filmed a video when you redecorated your home in Los Angeles. Yes. And I started watching it. I was just interested. And there was, hey, somebody's not interested. Don't apologize. So I saw this and I thought, oh wow, this is beautiful. Let's go to the first picture. And I thought, wow, I love this. And I was going to ask you because so much of what happens now is everyone makes it. Like the fancy people make their house gray and they remove all the color. And it's all whites and grays. It's like Salt Lake City Real Housewives' cheek where it's just like only white, only beige, only gray. And it's like a maximalist. Yeah, good. They're rich people in LA. They're real rich people. Their homes are like, Tao Monk temples. It's really nothing's on the counter. You cannot find the fridge because it's disguised as a wall. I always struck me that Ellen DeGeneres was this happy-go-lucky, fun, free-willing comics on this colorful, sat dancing around for 20 years. And with that money, she seems to have bought several mausoleums throughout the city. It's the cement spaces, empty of color in life. And then, but you'd made this beautiful color for home and I thought that was interesting. I just, I just, everybody always talks about decorating for resale value and I'm like, fuck those people. They don't live here. Do you know what I mean? You live here. This is your life. You can be dead tomorrow. Paint the wall, pink. And so this, this is a peacock that was shipped from the East Coast and they drove it across the state so it wouldn't break. And look, it's a peacock with tricky eyes. Now you don't have to be crazy. I love that. But I just love color and I love maximalism and texture. I want you to walk in my house and go, that bitch in a wig lives here. And I want you to know something. The reason I brought this up is because I had an experience today when I was watching this video, which, can we go to the next one? See that chair right there? What's up? I have that chair. You like it? I do like it. It's very comfortable. Comfortable? It's my dining room table chairs. I have those exact same chairs. I know where you got them. I have that chair. And I thought, that's funny. Next slide. What? I have these cups. No, you don't. I have these cups. I have these cups. I have this shirt. Next slide. This is single white female. You know that? I know where you got these plates. Insane. The double J. Super. Ooh, don't talk about it. Don't talk about it. And I really considered it. Honestly, they're really country and they were, but they, America, or whatever. Shoot me in the eye bitch. I got convinced in abiding these. They're too expensive. They're also not dishwasher safe. They've been used. I know. Once. I know because I'm lying. I bought them. I know. I know. Because I'm lying. I bought them. Oh! And you can't watch them. You don't fucking just don't use them. You just don't use them because they're, they're, they cost as much as like going to the dentist. And if you, you can't put them in the fucking dishwasher. No, and I'm from a family where my grandma would put like the McDonald's straws in the dishwasher. She'd be like, we're a guy and you with these. You know, like, I love this. Next slide. You do not have this. No, you don't. Yes. Why is this so absurd? I have this. Have this. Next slide. No, you don't. Have this. You do not have this. Where to fucking God? I have this. Oh, I have this. I have this. I have this. Oh, I have this. I have this. I do. I have that. Upon it, get out. Next slide. I have this bed. No, you don't. You have this. You have this. I swear you're lying. I swear to fucking God. I see you on the same bed every goddamn night. You and I tonight will go back to our separate homes. And we will be sleeping in the same bed. But you know what? I covered the fabric of a different color. The same way you did. I have a gold. Oh. That's right. That's nice. That's right. And it is shockingly expensive. And I don't want to talk about it. Did you feel, did you feel, you know, can I be honest? When I did this, it was for television. And the network does cover about half. Fuck you. So, you know, I don't actually remember how much a lot of this stuff was because the net, but, you know, do you like this bed? I like it. It's super comfortable. It's wonderful. But isn't that strange? I'm so genuinely creeped out right now. You wait. Wait. I saw Permolactivity here in LA two nights ago. That did not even touch this moment. The fact that you were not wearing my skin. I literally this afternoon when I was watching this video, I was supposed to be working on other parts of the show. And I was sitting with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with Sarah Lazarus. There are two incredible writers. And I just said, saying, no. Next slide. You're, you're kidding. There's not more. There aren't. I don't think there are. There, there was one more. There's no more. What if he's like, your man, fuck him. Like, what, where does it end? He's like, I'm taking your car home. And by the way, like, I might have missed things. Like, I was watching as close as they could, but I'm not a forensic scientist. I'm coming over. There's something really strange happening. Because these are not normal. These are not like, we found strange things to put in our homes. I, maybe, you know what it is. Maybe we really thought, we, we thought we were pick me special girls. I know. I guess we're just Pinterest baggots. God dammit. I don't know. I was special. I thought it was unique. When did you decorate 2020 to 2023? That's when I did this. Fuck. So I guess we all got the same fucking catalogs and we all thought we were so special. Isn't that sad? Gay people are supposed to be so creative and we're like, I'll take that bed. Like, the most creative of our species. And all we can come up with is a fuck is the same two plates. And we're so proud of ourselves. Oh, ha, like, didn't you go to the end of the internet looking for stuff? And you're like, oh, how many tabs did you have open till we both land on the same goddamn fucking chargers? It's sad. It's a little sad. But I do love the house and it's beautiful. You love it. I love to. And honestly, I feel like I've been there. Yeah. Last thing, you're misfit and asked you about Drank Race season 18, which we're here in January 2nd. They've just announced the Queens on Tuesday. We're still in the preseason. Yeah. The Queen never worries about the cards stacked at the bottom. That's awful. Wow. Wow. That's awful. I just thought it was funny. It is funny. And it was. And the beautiful part of it was anybody standing out and nobody you're thinking of any excited about. This is the truth. The way I could never. The way me and Katya, I must speak for her too, the way we could never, the way each of these horrors would eviscerate us and like Thanos disintegrate us. We don't have great personal style. We don't have the context of these kinds of costumes. We don't have the will. We don't have the budget. We're not interested. We're happy to sit on chairs on a green screen but I just want to say as much as we all love Drag Race, the quality of what these horrors do now is so beguiling and bedazzling. I encourage all of you who sit home with an Amazon Prime membership and the ability to get away by Monday. I encourage you all to hold your breath in before you say I could do that because bitch, you can never. Yeah, I can never. There's a, I love Paz de America. I never sit there and go, I know more than that. Like I don't. I know my place. I nod, I learn and I go home. And that's what I encourage you guys to do. This isn't my analogy, but someone noted that. The way all straight men believe in their bones that they could land a 747 is the same way all gay men believe without reason that they would win Drag Race. Oh, it's not my observation, but I think it holds. Like on some level, they're just like, I just, my raw charisma would carry me through. Even though I've can't sew, never put on makeup, don't you drag, can't sing, can't lip sync. I think I could take it. I mean, that's what I did. I did, I was, made it all those things, but I will say I always say that Drag Race is one in the interview chair. You can't win without a good interview. And a lot of these girls, let's just say they're not exactly personality hires. So I will say, I encourage people to stretch but you don't have to be the best at everything. You just have to, you have to just, you have to be delusional. The people who win are always, they all go out there and they look like Paul Wright in the eye and they go, aren't I everything? And that's like, who wants to go to a drag show where someone's like, am I okay? Like no. Yeah, they come here for that. Yeah. For real, no, I think they all look amazing. This promo's amazing, repuls amazing. We all do not deserve to be alive at the same time as repuls. I really feel that. We're gonna lose her someday and we're all gonna be like, that was the best fucking thing we could have ever had in our lives. She's the best. Someone gasped in the audience, like they didn't know time moves forward. Right. I'm not saying she's in danger. I'm just saying we're all gonna die. And that's a great place to leave it. Tricksie Mattel, thank you so much. Tricksie's gonna stick around. A partner when we come back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It Or Leave It coming up. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. We writing traditions there but you can give you the space to create new meaningful traditions providing clarity in the holiday chaos. Yes, some people have many traditions. Some have none or just beginning their own. Now's the time to reflect on what they mean to you. 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This December, starting new tradition by taking care of you, our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash Love It. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P. dot com slash Love It. H-E-L-P. Hammerback! Woo! Please welcome to the stage the hilarious appartan on charla. Woo! Woo! Hi! Hi! Hi! Given all the challenges the LGBT community faces under the second Trump administration, we thought it was only right that we have an open dialogue about which holiday characters are gay or not. In a segment we're calling, go down that chimney bitch. Oh! Oh! Woo! Come on. Whoa. For those of you who forgot about Dr. Alfred Kinsey's heterosexual homosexual rating scale, as it was called when it was first published in sexual behavior in the human male, the scale goes from zero, which is insane, to six, which is exclusively homosexual. Six is the gayest. Yeah. And zero is super straight. Right. No gayness inside of you. Right. Okay. But would you like some? All right. The rating. Here we go. First up, we have Buddy the Elf from Elf directed by the other John Favreau. Now, yes, we know Buddy ends up with Zoe Deschanel at the end of the film, but let's see. As a compulsory heterosexuality energy, you know what I mean? A comp het vibe. Okay. Okay. No, I'm sensing kind of higher on the Kinsey scale. Just this energy to me is reading fabulosity. I mean, it's like depending how much you measure gay, like because having, I know I've been with a lot of guys who are not gay. They don't identify as gay, but they sure do love sex with me. So I think he might be the opposite where he is fucking girls, but everything else is gay. Right. Right. That's interesting. He is gay, but he has this girlfriend that he does set sex with. And he doesn't have sex with men, but he goes to like, you know, he goes to Chapel Rona Pasadena, like he's there. Does drag act like a gateway drug for men that want to have sex with men for you? Like has that happened in your past where like the drag got, they're not gay, but the drag is the door through which they walk? No, I would say that if they're attracted to me and drag, usually most of their, their life, they're with women and they're attracted to femininity. Huh. Yeah. Interesting. What do you think? What do you think? Three? We're saying three. What do you think we're out? Three. Let's start with that. Yeah, I would say three. Let's set that as the baseline. I love that holiday movie. You know, I do two. I do Ed Asner, so good in edge. We're Ed Asner. Yeah. He died too. I just watched this game. He went up. He went up. He went up. Yes, I'm dead. I just watched this holiday movie called The Happiest Season, this lesbian movie. Have you guys seen this? I love that movie. I had no idea it was going to be so good. I was crying. It was amazing. It was so good. It was amazing. It was not only the best, one of the best Christians I've ever seen, it was one of the best game I've ever seen. It was amazing. It was amazing. Everybody go watch it. I do think it's funny that you bring home your roommate, Kristen Stewart and your mom. I'm sure that you're gay. Kristen Stewart has like, you know, that lesbian thing where it's like, trade parkers hair with two hair clips. Yeah. And then she's like a suit and she's like, I'm a roommate. I'm like, girl, you know what I mean? It's like the bird cage. I'm like, girl, you know? I don't know how I ever could have made it in the roommate era. You know, I don't think I could have done it that like, this is my roommate. I don't think I had though. I think I just would have been an outcast and I'd have to go into the woods. Not because I'm like brave. I'm just like not capable of that kind of discipline, you know, of like pretending. I don't know how they did it. I also never think, I don't know. I'd never live a life where I'm like, I brought my roommate as my plus one. Yeah, I'm trying to get away from that bitch. She's at home. Yeah, you know what I mean? I don't need, I need a break from this. Yeah. Next up, we have the Grinch from the original 1960s. The Grinch You Stoke Christmas. Do we think the Grinch is non-binary perhaps? The Grinch's pronouns are they then- I'm saying six. Six? Like gay, 100%, 100% gay. Yeah. I'm stuck because, you know, outing people's an act of violence in 2025. And so I don't know, you know, back in my day, like had the Grinch, we just called Ryan C. Grinch a bag. Like we can't do that anymore. But now we can't do that. So I'm going to say they have an incredible table setting. I know. And they might have the same bed as you and I. Yeah. Confirm bachelor of the Grinch. Yeah. I've not been able to keep a lady. They're pounding at his door and yet he hasn't been able to settle on the one just yet. Will there be a lady for the Grinch You Stoke? We'll tell because this bachelor is eligible, confirmed eligible. Yes. I think he went to Coachella and was carried out of Charlie XCX on a stretcher. Party too hard. Party too hard. The snow, so I think you're saying six. The snowman from the classic Raymond Briggs children's book, The Snowman. Oh. Gender really is what a when you're a snowman, gender is the scarf and hat you put on. You switch the hat, change the gender. That's the beauty of the snow people. It's becoming crisis right a little bit. I know. I was getting it. I know. I was like, they're really invested in our winning. I think it's a zero. I think this is like Nickoff from it. Yes. He's a libertarian probably. Yeah. You know what I mean? But yeah, I think this is where you start on the scale. Yeah, that's zero. Yeah. That is all heterosexual. You see that Netflix movie where the snowman becomes the hot guy from Shit Creek? Yes, I did. Hot Frosty. I work at Netflix when we watch all the premium programming. Hot Frosty. Hot Frost buns. Hot Frosty. Hot Frosty. That's what they called it. Hot Frosty. I guess it's the joke about Frosty being cold. Yes. Yes. John Bennett is in 12 holiday movies. I looked it up online. He's the romantic interest and sometimes it's men's and has it's women is all of the place. I watched a chunk of, I did not make it all the way through Hot Frosty. I'll be honest, I don't work at Netflix. But it's part of your deal. Can you not criticize these films? Are you kidding? I think we're going to fire it every day. We rip into these movies so bad. When we first started that job, I thought like we're not, we're done. They're we're not come back tomorrow and they love, they love them. We like fun of it. Right. I love that. But that means when we like a movie, you know it's good. That's good. You don't ever be like, we love this, you know. Here is my issue with the film Hot Frosty. And I do think it's important. We talk about it. Usually in a holiday film when something magical happens, there's some kind of motivation for it. Like, you know, the child is alone and has been treated poorly and wishes one last time to see the thing, something of that sort where there's a real deserving reason. But in that film, the snowman just wakes up one morning. You know what I mean? No, but Lacey Chabair has a leak in her house. But it's like, she's barely making her mortgage payments. But like, it seems to me that just like she deserves the magic because she's just single. She's a single lady in the world of this movie. That is such a horrible thing that the magic of the universe is conveyed upon this snowman so that she can find happiness. But there's probably other single gals in the town as well and they don't get their own hot snowman from Shits Creek. I will say in these holiday movies, the worst thing as a woman you can be is like single. Yeah, and also keep up it true. Her husband died so she's walking around an open wound of grief. Oh, shit. And only a snowman can fill that hole. Okay. I... I... Sometimes you got to fuck a snowman. Who is what it is? Yeah. Why have two balls when you can have three? No. Hey, is that... Is that a carrot for a nose or are you happy to see me? Hi. Next up, old man Marley from Home Alone. Well, come on. Girl, at the eagle. For sure. Yeah. She's the day shift at the eagle, honey. A strange from his kids. Why? Why? Because he left their mom for whoever, you know, at the eagle. Oh. One of those like older downtown gaze who wears the cockering full time. Do you know what I'm talking about? Wow. And then nipples are like, like, we're big and round, it's standard. Hell yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Right? I mean, yeah, it sold me. Like truly a DJing barracuda. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, the boy... DJing the boys' events, for sure. Oh, uh-oh, Osponhof. DJing Osponhof, for sure. This is a bag. Yeah, we're sure of it. It's a six. It's a six. Next up, the pigeon lady from Home Alone who's too lost in New York. What, no, what does know me? She's like, oh, she's like, oh, well, in the movie she talks about her great love, but I don't think she said it was a guy. I think she's like, oh, there's a seven. Yeah, yeah, I see. Liking Birds is gay, first of all. Yeah, yeah. Right, straight people have dogs and cats, gay people like, I want a winged creature with razor beaks flying out my home, you know? Yeah, and there's just something about the energy of the clothes, the kind of, there's, because there's like, I think like, you know, there's the, the, the kind of flannel style stereotypical gay lady, but then there's also the more kind of New England, college, a lot of fabrics, just many fabrics, like unclear where shirts end and other shirts begin, layers, things. Yeah, and there's a lot of this. You know, things going over the shoulder. This is like a Cape Cod lesbian or something. Like this person has been to Rachel Maddo's house. 100%. Like there's an entire course just on unpacking her at Smith. Yeah, right. Yeah, she's a type of, I mean, I lived in Provison for a while and the Cape Cod lesbians are like the crew members of the Black Pearl. They're very, that's true. Grizzled in and she, she's just so sweet though. I love this character. I would watch a whole one-woman show about like, what happened to her? And I bet it's like, wicked. We're like, Kevin ruined her life. You think? Like she's the, she's the good person. Oh. And Kevin McAllister trying to be like savior. Yeah. Bucked her life up, you know? Yeah, she didn't need his help. She didn't need his help. No, she was doing fine. Not to mention, he meets her at the end of the movie. She still lives outside. He goes, here's your ornament. I'm going back up to the giant hotel with my family and all our guests. Excuse me. You need me? You want a bitch? Like forward any correspondence to the plaza. Right. Oh my god, the Donald Trump cameo. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it happened. It happened. Simple time. Shit. Oh. He was just, he was just some guy. Next up, Martha May Huvier. Huvier. Martha May Huvier in the 2000 Jim Carrey version of the Grinch, just played by Christine Baranski. I think she's that girl who's like, oh my god, I love gay guys. If I was a, if I was a gay guy, I'd be so happy. But she's straight, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, the boozy gal with the gaze at brunch who's like, I fucking love you faggot. You know that's her. I love that scene where she's shooting the Christmas lights. But that Moly Shannon is like so gup. She's like, oh, she's jealous. Do you remember that? I haven't seen this. Oh, girl, it's so good. It is so good. Jim Carrey becomes the Grinch. Wheat. You make it sound like through the film. Jim Carrey gets transformed like the fly. like the fly. Yeah, it's very much like Jeff Goldblum in the fly. It's the fly. It's the graduate one. You know what? This is a thing. They got us to blowing up these boats in the Caribbean because cocaine made movies like the fly possible. You can't. You know what I'm saying? That was only been I hear it. Oh yeah. No, I get it. I get that. When I'm trying to write something, I'm like, how did Stephen King do it? I'm like, drugs. Drugs? He's been open about it. I'm like, drugs help. Yeah, drugs. Stephen King and Aaron Sorkin have this in common, which is they went, they were prolific while doing a ton of drugs and then directors would take 900 page things and say, oh, we're not doing this whole movie about the evil turtles. All right. We're just going to do this. You know what I mean? Like, this is an 800 page script. We're going to make American president. You can take the rest of these pages and do it every one. It's like, oh, big, the West Wing. You know what I mean? All right. Which I think is cool. It's cool to be prolific. I love her. I love this. This movie really is so good. Oh, yeah. Finally, we have Kampus. St. Nicholas's dark doppelganger sent to punish naughty children with birch rods. According to your being, Vocalori also co-starred in a titular 2025 harm movie alongside Tony Collette. And past love it, or leave it guest, Adam Scott and Allison Tomen. Kampus. 10. 10. Home of foam. 10. Megan Kelly calling out a 10 from the crowd. That was that was Lauren Bober. Smoking. Why is this game? That's what that was. Yeah. Lauren Bober. That's giving it a hand. Give it a hand. Give it a hand. Why is this a 10? Why is that game? Why is the evil Santa Gay? Huh? What if you internalized? I agree. That's a gay man. But still. I think it's gay. I think it's gay to be like, I'm going to fuck with these kids. You know what I mean? It's gay. Those aren't his kids. He doesn't have kids. Right. He's unmarried. He's obviously off on Christmas. He has no family. There's a reason why gay bars are open on December 25th. Yeah. There is something about the crampus that has the kind of energy of when gay guys are around kids and they don't know what to do. And they're just sort of like, hmm. Do you, I guess you can't drink soda and bitters? You know, that kind of a thing. But I also feel like the kids love him. They're like, oh, his uncle Kram is coming. You know? I think it is. Don't you think for them it's like a fun thing, right? Ooh, Kram. I don't think they're genuinely scared of crampus, right? Right. I think it's like all part of the show. Besides kids think that they're not naughty. So they're like, he's not coming here. No matter how fucking awful they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids have no self-awareness. Yeah. That's true. Some adults too. And that's the segment. And that's what we call it. Oh, yeah. Go down my chimney, bitch. Go down my chimney. Uh. Oh, down my chimney, bitch. Go down my chimney. Go down my chimney. Uh. Aparna, your special hopeful potato is out on December 15th on the dropout. On dropout, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Thank you, thank you. And Trixie's holiday specials on YouTube. Oh, ho, ho. When we come back, we have a holiday gift guide. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It Or Leave It coming up. Love It Or Leave It is brought to you by Bubs Naturals. Getting older can be rough. Do you know that starting as early as your mid-20s, your body naturally produces less collagen every single year? You might start to notice that you're waking up with stiff joints recovering from the gym takes longer. Maybe your hair is thinning, or your skin just doesn't have the same youthful glow anymore. That's where Bubs Naturals collagen peptides come in. Bubs helps you restore collagen levels closer to what your body naturally had in its youth. That means stronger joints, healthier hair, and nail smoother skin and faster recovery. Collagen is the protein that holds everything together. That's literally the glue of the body. And it's super easy to use. 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You'll get access to the good stuff, exclusive content, like Polar Coaster with Dan Fyper, add free episodes of a bunch of our crooked shows, endless bragging rights. Give them a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance give a gift of the friend of the pond subscription at crooked.com slash friends or grab one yourself. It does genuinely help us build this progressive media company and it's also very fun. How many people here are friends of the pond? Not enough. And next week on Tuesday, my interview with Bronwyn Newport from Real House of Houses Salt Lake will be on the feed, recorded right in the thick of it, great conversation. I really like talking to somebody who's very thoughtful about why she was on the show, what it's like to be on the show, what she's learned about herself. I really appreciate it, the conversation. And it's awesome, that's how Tuesday. And then next Thursday, right here at Dynasty, our last show of the year with Tignotara, Rachel Bloom, and Cameron Crowe, which is pretty cool. All right, it's holiday shopping season. And we love it, we leave it wanted to offer something different than the boring gift guides, letting your feed. So my guests and I have reached deep into our gifting cavity to pull out our best and brightest ideas for your friends, enemies, and everyone in between and a segment we're calling, love it or regift it. Oh, okay, sure, why not? First up, I know you had a gift suggestion. I did, I have a gift suggestion, I'm something called a sitbit. It's like a fitbit, but it reminds you to make sure you're sitting enough to honor your seasonal depression. LAUGHTER Yeah, like get your out, yeah, like you alert, you've only sat for two to three hours today. And how much of that time was just looking into a wall or in the middle distance? So you're walking, you're on the middle of a six mile hike and your phone beeps and says, don't you think it's time you sit down? Yeah, yeah. It's too much. What happens if you're sitting and then you get up, what does it say? It says, oh, oh, you're expressing a will to live. LAUGHTER Oparna, you've been on the road, you've been on the road for this ahead of the new special. Any airport lowlights lately? Oh, airport lowlights. Dang, I feel like I blocked them all out because I feel like most airports I'm just in a catatonic state. But yeah, one time a person put a, not this was on the plane, but someone put their barefoot into my seat area. Hmm. And I, so I... That's not your thing. No. And she wanted it in the... Yeah, I was like... So I can't get the higher pleas. Yeah. I can't get there. No, I mean... What did you do? I, nothing. I just, I think I tweeted about it, you know? You did all you could. Yeah, you did all you could. I think I, yeah, I tweeted at the airline. Now, I love that, sip it. All right, Trixi, you have a gift idea. We have, I think two we can go to from you. Let's see what the first one was. This was... Well, this one, well... I know. She went kind of a different direction than I did. So, you know, it is cupping season. And, you know, ethical non-monogamy is running rampant in our community, and that's completely fine. But for those of us who are monogamous, this is a great way to get people go boogui on I do. It's also, well, you can't. You know, you go to bed knowing, like, he's gonna be with you because if he ever wants to pee again, you have the key. And I actually photoshopped that little diamond on there. That's beautiful. And this says, I do crew. I'm in the I do crew. This is the I do crew because you'd can't. Yeah, I just thought it would be fun. I like it. I kind of thought people would laugh more. It's a beautiful piece of jewelry. It's a little small. What do you do? I was about to do it. What do you do with all the extra space towards the front? I was going to go the other way with it. I was going the other way with it. It's for snacks. I have one. I'll do one next. Okay. I'll do one next. And I remember what they were. Oh, my God. Wait, I had two. Yeah, oh, yeah. This is it. You made it graphic. Thank you. These are, you bring a stack of these and they're called Get Out of Convo Free Cards. Okay. And when you show up for the holidays with all your family, you hand them out at the beginning of the event. Everybody gets a couple. Okay. There's some that say Get Out of Convo Free, some say one free conversation topic change. For example, and then you know what the rule is. Everybody agrees in advance that if you use the card, no one can be mad. So someone's like, whoa, I guess you think it's good that drugs are coming into the country. You just hand them the card and you walk away. And you're good. And you're good. And then, but if you're at the table and you can't leave and someone's like, I don't know. I mean, like I've been, I've been, I think RFK sometimes gets a short shift. You just, you, someone's like, you must persuade them. No, you throw the card down that says topic change and you're just like, has anybody been watching Pluribus? Right. You know? But by the way, by the way. Has anybody been watching Pluribus? That's gotta be your go to. Because it just gets the people talking. Yeah. You know, it gets them chatting. Right. And so that was my first idea. Oh, and Aparna, you had another idea. I think it was similar to that. This was, oh, that was, oh. Oh yeah. I was, I was, she was a tech bible. Okay. I was really feeling my, uh, So this is called the quit bit. This is called the quit bit. And now what the quit bit is going to do is when you try to join a gym, it says, you're not going to go. You better not. Yeah. Yes, so don't do it. So it's, it's a more simple tool, but it's really anytime you try to join a gym, it says, uh, uh. I love that. I love that. It stops you before you make him stay. It's so hard to go. gym membership. Uh, I feel like even if you're dead, they won't let you out. If you have to send a handwritten letter to the gym, you signed up at, yes. It's like, like, like, like the covered wagons, like, yeah, a handwritten letter. So I, because I've never successfully been able to actually go to a gym. I can really only do classes because if I go to a gym and there's no one telling me specifically what to do, right? I'm just in a different room listening to the book. I was listening to on my car, you know, but now I've paid month to wander around this space. Yeah. Just feel a little bit like I can't too close. Yeah. Too much. Yeah. I get a Celsius. I get two to two rolls and watch Charmed. Yeah. Just playing a fitness always has Charmed. That's so nice. That's so nice. I will say that the programming at gyms is eye opening. Yeah. Yeah. They, they always have news all different, all different kinds, all different kinds of all these things. My gym is always playing a food network holiday baking show and it's always Halloween year round. Wait, Trisha, you had one more pitch. You had one more idea. I did. Um, this one is a little different as well. So this is a sham wow makeup white for the girls in your life who need 17 or 18 wipes per eye, like I do. So this is kind of, that's, I think he's, he might be dead. No, I think he's, no, he's not, he's not, he didn't die. Did you have a funky, didn't you? What, what a crazy exclamation. You're confusing. He's death and running for Congress. He's having a, it's yeah. Yeah, same thing. But I think yeah, let's just say when I googled this image, a lot of other pictures of him doing less well showed up. Yes, I think things are not good. Yes. But I think he's with the living. Right. And this is the sham wow and I just thought like a makeup wipe that really could go to town if you're somebody wears makeup. I don't know. That could be huge. You must go through them. Yeah. It's been, there's a landfill in hell with my name on it for sure. Like for sure. I gotta think she like they're having invented a good hair spray that's not aerosol for dry queens too. So I like to woke that when I sprayed, I'm like, no. I think I bet you could sell though, like sell those used. People do. Tammy Brown does this and she frames them themselves. Yeah. Wow. She's in the whole buffalo. You know, in a sense. Next, here's my last one. It's called resanta. Basically, somebody comes into your house while you're sleeping and they go into your closet and they take clothes you own and have not worn in the last year. Though when you bought them, you swore you would and wraps them up like a gift and leaves them under your tree because then you open it and it's like you're starting again. It's back. Try again because sometimes like you don't wear it and then it falls to the bottom of the drawer or just inertia. It's just not what you go to. But maybe if it came back out and came back to the front, all gifted, you'd be like, why don't I wear this? And then boom, it's in the rotation for sure. But don't you guys have clothing where it's like you wouldn't never wear it but just the idea that you own it gives you a little pep in your step. Sure. I only have that. And that's our show. Apartment on Charola, Chick-Ce Matel. We'll see you next week at Dynasty. There are 332 days until the midterms have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crookie Media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more, you can also find Love It or Leave It on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. 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