Savage Lovecast

After Action Report #24

20 min
Apr 10, 2026about 2 months ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

Marie, a retired businesswoman and polyamorous submissive, shares her experience accepting payment for foot photography modeling at a kink conference. The episode explores her vetting process, negotiation tactics, and the photographer's foot fetish background while emphasizing safety best practices for sex workers.

Insights
  • Successful sex work engagement requires rigorous vetting including reference checks, public meetings, and clear communication before service delivery
  • Submissive identity combined with service orientation can extend beyond traditional relationships into transactional sexual services
  • Foot fetishism often has psychological roots in childhood caregiving dynamics and can be practiced respectfully with proper boundaries
  • Business negotiation skills from entrepreneurship directly transfer to sex work compensation discussions and rate-setting
  • Solo travel to adult events provides safety and autonomy benefits for exploring sexuality outside primary relationships
Trends
Growing normalization of sex work discussion in mainstream media and podcastingIncreased awareness of polyamory and non-monogamous relationship structures among bisexual and queer communitiesEmphasis on consent, safety protocols, and reference verification in alternative sexual communitiesMiddle-aged women positioning themselves as desirable in niche sexual markets (foot fetish, BDSM)Integration of business acumen and negotiation skills into personal sexual transactionsUse of social platforms (FetLife) for vetting and connecting with potential sexual service clientsShift toward respectful, transactional approaches to fetish photography versus exploitative models
Topics
Sex work safety practices and vetting proceduresPolyamorous relationship structures and dynamicsBDSM and kink community conferences and networkingFoot fetishism psychology and originsSubmissive identity and service orientationSexual negotiation and compensationFetLife platform and alternative community networkingSolo travel for sexual explorationBusiness negotiation in personal contextsConsent and boundaries in transactional sexPhotography and fetish content creationAging and desirability in sexual marketsBisexual community and relationship structuresEntrepreneurship and financial independenceRisk assessment in sexual encounters
Companies
FetLife
Social platform used by Marie to RSVP for kink events and where the photographer discovered her profile
People
Marie
Shared her first experience as a foot fetish model and sex worker, demonstrating safety best practices
Dan Savage
Hosted the After Action Report segment and interviewed Marie about her sex work experience
Quotes
"I identify as a submissive and I often say that my biggest kink is my partner's kink. It's not even so much the iron kinky as that I'm into whatever you're into because I'm interested in the spectrum of human sexuality."
Marie
"I need to verify who you are. I need some references. I know a lot, even though I'd never done any form of sex work, I do actually know a lot about what sex workers do to ensure their safety."
Marie
"He said, it's fine with me if there are other people in the room. And I was like, okay, like I don't actually have a partner that's going to be there. He doesn't know that he's suggesting that if I wanted to have, he's like, as long as they see out of my way, people can be in the room."
Marie
"I'm a very femme person and like very meticulous about my appearance. So I chose my outfit and my shoes and everything very carefully. And I came down to meet him and he was so nice. He was like, you didn't have to go through all this effort."
Marie
"He specifically likes middle-aged women's feet. Like that's, he doesn't, because I think a lot of fetishes, I think are really into like, you know, 25 year old women's feet. This guy, he wanted the wrinkles. He wanted the discoloration. He wanted the bunions."
Marie
Full Transcript
This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Load Boost by VB Health. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, the volume, and the overall health of your semen. If you're already putting in the work, why not make your performance unforgettable? Made in the USA, NSF certified and produced in an FDA registered facility, thousands of guys across 50 states and 45 countries swear by Load Boost. If you want bigger finishes and better reviews from your audiences, if you want better taste, better mouthfeel, go to loadboost.com today and use code SAVAGE for 10% off, or click the link in this week's episode description. That's loadboost.com and use offer code SAVAGE. Welcome to After Action Report where my listeners share tales of new sexual experiences and new sexual explorations and adventures. This week I chat with Marie, who is a successful businesswoman who seized a new business opportunity. Here's my conversation with Marie. So Marie, welcome to After Action Report. Hi. Before we get to the thing you did, the crazy thing you tried, tell us just a little bit about yourself so people get an idea of you as a person before they hear about your crazy sexual adventure. So I am a married woman in her mid 50s living in a Mid-Atlantic city. I am open-league polyamorous. I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend in addition to my husband. Wow. Yeah, I have a busy life. Well, I have a busy life partly because I'm actually retired. I was a small business owner and I sold my company. And so now I have the time to pursue relationships with people. You have the bandwidth. There's been so much talk lately about women who are poly. So many poly memoirs written by women. We've been talking about it a lot on the show. Whose idea was it? Because all the memoirs seem to be written by women whose husband's idea it was to open the relationship or become poly. You with the husband and the girlfriend and the boyfriend, whose idea was it initially? Wow. Well, I'd love to blame someone else for this madness. But this has been an eye. We'll head our 25th wedding anniversary this year. And when we started dating, we met through the bi community in our Mid-Atlantic city. And I think that not necessarily that more bi people are poly, but I think there's more awareness among bisexual people that not one, it's likely that not one person can unlock all your keys. You don't have all the keys for one person's locks either. So we started our relationship as open. I don't remember it ever being like him pushing me into it or me pushing him into it. That being said, it's not like it's been, this is a whole other story. It's not a linear tale of like poly bliss from day one. It took a long time to take the form it's in now. Are any tales, any tales of relationships linear or otherwise blissful in their entirety? No, no, it's just people point to poly. No, she's been very golfed and kittens are messy. Okay, but we're not here to talk about polyamory. Sorry about the tangent. It's just obsessed with it lately. So what was it that you did? What did you try? What did you want to come in and tell us about? So I did two things together for the first time. I accepted money for providing a sexual service. So I became a sex worker for one session. And what the session was was foot modeling, foot photography with someone who has a serious foot fetish. How did you encounter this person? How did you find each other? How did you get the gig, your first sex work gig? Well, he saw me. So that was interesting. I am occasionally involved in the BDSM and Kink scene in my mid-Atlantic City. And I got curious about what the scene was like in other parts of the country. So I decided to go to a conference in the Midwest. And I went by myself. All these people in my life, nobody could join me. So I went by myself, which is actually a really fun way to experience these sorts of things. Because if you're not happy, you can just leave. You don't have to shop with anyone. There are studies that show that it's actually good for relationships for people who are married. Usually these folks are unmarried couples and monogamous couples to spend time apart. I also think that's good for Polly people to sometimes be apart from not just the partner, but all the partners and have some individual time and alone time is good and positive. Absolutely. So I am on that life. And on I RCP on that life that I was going to this con, because I have found that that life is a good way to find people afterwards. You know, to be like, okay, well, you know, if I want to connect to someone, but I didn't get their name or whatever, I might be able to find them there. So it's my habit when I attend the kink event to RSVP that I'm going, even if it wasn't organized on that life. And so because I had RSVP that I was going, that is how I met my photographer friend. He lives in the Midwestern city. He doesn't actually attend the con, but he knows when the con is coming. And he looks through the RSVPs to see if he can find women. And he's specifically only interested in women whose feet he can photograph. And then he reaches out to them. So he sent me a message on that and was like, Hey, I saw you were coming to this con in my city. I am a photographer and a fetishist. And I have one photo on my foot life that is open to people that shows my feet. It's not focused on my feet, but it'll share my feet. He's like, I saw your feet in that one photo and they looked really good. And I would love to photograph your feet and I will pay you. And I was like, Oh, really? And he was like, Yeah, really? So I was like, Okay, all right, I need a few things from you before we can talk anymore. I need some references. Good, good practices, best practices. Yeah, I was like, I mean, I know a lot, even though I'd never done any form of sex work, I do actually know a lot about what sex workers do to ensure their safety. So I was like, I need to verify who you are. You know, obviously I went and looked at his profile, looked at his photos and, you know, the photos were really good. And I was like, Okay, you know, I mean, I'm not a foot person. I'm not some people are grossed out by feet. I'm not like that. Some people are obsessed by feet. I'm not like that. I don't have any problem with people touching my feet, but it doesn't do anything for all the way. Enjoy a foot massage, you know, other than that, it doesn't really do anything for me one way or the other. But I identify as a submissive and I often say that my biggest kink is my partner's kink. It's not even so much the iron kinky as that I'm into whatever you're into because I'm interested in the spectrum of human sexuality. And if you're into it, I'm going to be into it. And you're interested in being of service, also reactive desire. Yes. All of those things, which my husband says is why I'm the perfect submissive. He's like, because you're such a blazer. So he gave me some references and I checked them and the three references that he gave me, like all of them got back with me right away. And they're like, this guy is cool. And by the way, if he wants to rehire me, I could use some extra money. And I'm like, I'm not like brokering your career here, you know, but thank you. Thank you. So you became a one time one off foot sex worker, but you didn't become an ongoing foot sex worker pimp. You didn't traffic other women's feet. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I got really good responses from all of them. And then I started talking with him about the logistics. Now I was staying in a hotel at this kink con and he had said in his original message, like we would do this shoot in your hotel. You don't have to go anywhere. And actually this is the part that really made me feel good about it. He said, it's fine with me if there are other people in the room. And I was, he had no idea I was coming alone and staying in my own room when he said that. And that alone made me feel really safe. I was like, okay, like I don't actually have a partner that's going to be there. He doesn't know that he's suggesting that if I wanted to have, he's like, as long as they see out of my way, people can be in the room, you know, see how the baby quiet. That's all I asked. And I'm like, okay, cool. So then we started talking about the money. That was my next question. Like how much, if people he's shot with in the past are like, hey, I need to make rent. We're not talking 50 bucks here, right? It's not a huge amount. So I go into small business for almost 20 years. I'm very good at negotiating, right? He offered me $100 for one hour, which considering that I didn't have to go anywhere or really do anything but take my shoes off, that's so okay. But I was also thinking about, I was like, well, do I need to have a pedicure before this? And he was like, no, no, no, just like, who is your feet the day before and you'll be fine. And I'm like, okay, I'm a bougie bitch. And I don't, I don't puss my feet. I outsourced that labor. I get so kind of pedicure. And so I was like, okay, well, in my Mid-Atlantic City, a pedicure is about $60. So now, I mean, to be honest, I probably would have gotten a pedicure before going to this con anyway, but still, I felt like that was part of my preparation and deserve to be compensated. And so I thought about it and I was like, okay, I will do it, but I need $150 because making $40 off of an hour didn't sound that great to me, but $90 did after paying for the pedicure. And I also offered him a little extra time if he wanted it in exchange. It needed to be worth my while, but I also wanted it to be worth his. And he was like, no, I do this all the time. It takes me an hour, no matter what, unless it's not working in which case I leave, you know. So that's fine, but $150 is fine. And I was like, okay, great, you know, let's, let's do it. So I didn't really communicate with him again except to check in with him a couple of days before the con and then I flew out for the con. And I checked into the hotel and we agreed to meet like on the first morning of the con before the con started. And I, we switched from talking on FETLIFE to text like the day before because I, and at that point I was like, okay, I need your name, you know, I need your phone number and please send me a selfie. So I know who I'm looking for. And so he did those things and I sent him, he knew what all it's like because he'd seen my photos on FET, but I sent him a photo as well. And I was like, here I am, you know. And so the day I've showed up and we agreed to meet like in the coffee shop in the lobby of the hotel because I was not going to just invite some stranger to my room. So we met in the lobby and it was funny because I actually chose my attire very care. I'm a very femme person and like very meticulous about my appearance. So I chose my outfit and my shoes and everything very carefully. And I came down to meet him and he was so nice. He was like, you didn't have to go through all this effort for you got a pedicure. You're all dressed up. He's like, I'm not taking pictures of this, you know, I'm taking pictures of your feet. I'm like, I know, but you know, I feel better if I feel more centered in my body if I'm presenting well. So we sat down and we talked for about 15 minutes and then he venmoed me $100. And I was like, cool, thank you. You know, we agreed on 150 and he was like, oh, that's right. And he was like, and I was like, I tell you what, you're showing me good faith by Venmoing me before I even invite you to. I will show you good faith. You can give me the balance after the shoot. And he was like, okay, great. And so we felt like we both had developed some trust at that point. So I felt good about it. And so I invited him up to my room and we got started. And how did it go? He had what he called foot poses. There were four of them and they were like splayed thumbs up. I don't remember what they all were, you know, the curl down there. He was very concerned about making sure that I could accomplish these foot poses in advance. And I was like, yes, no problem. My feet are actually pretty strong and flexible. So that wasn't an issue. And one other piece of background information that's interesting is that I had a number of unfortunate foot incidents in the weeks leading up to this event. I had been to Las Vegas and I had walked something like 40,000 steps in a day and I ended up with a huge blister on the bottom of my foot because I needed to get a new pair of sneakers and realize it. And that was two weeks before. So and then a week before I dropped a weight on my foot when I was at the gym. So I was like, oh my God. And I decided I'm just not going to mention it to this guy. And if he mentions it, like there was a bruise on my foot, but it was pretty faded by the time this happened. And the blister, I could tell it had been there, but I didn't know. I was like, I'm just going to let him decide if it's a problem, you know. So I was kind of nervous about all that in addition to everything else. So we go up to the room. He is in love with my feet. Like he thinks they're amazing. He's like, he keeps on saying like catching himself and being like, oh my God, as he looks at my feet. And I'm like, they're feet, you know, I mean, I'm glad you're into them, but they're feet. Right. So I take my shoes off and he has me cycling through different positions. Sometimes I'm laying on the bed and he has this little, it's almost like a half of a foam roller, like fit bolster that he puts under the covers. And then I put my stuff, kind of props my feet up a little bit. So I do that with all the poses. And then there's like laying on my side with all the poses and on my other side with all the poses. And then, and then he had me sit on, there's like a little coffee table in the room. And he had me sit on that. He laid on the floor and he shot my feet from under the table. He had me laying on my stomach with my feet and the air with all the poses. So it really did take an hour. The whole time I'm talking to him because I'm like, you have to tell me more about this. Like I'm obsessed. Like, why are you into this? And he tells me this whole story about like, he's thought about this and talked about this a lot. He's been doing this for a long time and how like he was the child of like one of like five kids, the youngest of a single mom. And she worked like two jobs to keep the kids fed and clothed and whatnot. And she would come home from that second job. So exhausted. And she would ask him to rub her feet. And so he got really into rubbing her feet. And he specifically, I mean, I'm 51, he specifically likes middle-aged women's feet. Like that's, he doesn't, because I think a lot of fetishes, I think are really into like, you know, 25 year old women's feet. This guy, he wanted the wrinkles. He wanted the discoloration. He wanted the bunions. You know, he does. It's very edipal. This like aging Dr. Freud. I don't know. Yeah. He was, he was totally aware of like self-aware about the whole thing. So yeah, he told me this whole story and told me about his photography journey. And I got along great with him. He's a really cool guy. If you're listening, I wouldn't be happy to come and model for you again. It's funny how we talk so much now about like daddies and joke about daddy issues, but this guy has a mommy thing. And that's, that's fine. That's great. Like everybody can be printed on 25 year olds because those of us who aren't 25 anymore, we need some people out there who imprinted on older folks. Hopefully don't want to sleep with their moms or sleep with their mom's feet, but by the way, the part of my age, you know, he was like early fifties. So, but he'd been, and he'd been doing this for a long time. So it was a good experience. Would you do it again? Yeah, 100%. I would actually I was asking him like, because I just got curious about it. I'm like, is it like the foot fetish community? Like, do you know other photographers? Could I do this again? And he was like, honestly, most of the guys, I haven't met that many. Most of the guys I met were really gross. He's like, and I'm not sure how many of them are respectful. And I'm like, okay, you know, I just wonder, you know, but yeah, I would do it again. My husband was like, this is great. Like, isn't there apparently there's some foot fetish website out there? He's like, you should put it out there and see if anybody jumped on. I'm not around a foot fetish website. That they were grabbed. He didn't share them. I mean, my husband has shared pictures of every square inch of his body on the internet, but yeah, like his feet are specifically out. My husband has really great feet. I got to say, like they belong on a foot fetish website. So did you get to see the pictures? Yes. So it took him a long time to get them to me. And every few weeks, I'll just send him a text and be like, hey, don't forget about me. Because he did promise you would share some of them with me. Not all of them. I do. I really need 300 photos in my feet now. So, you know, I was fine with him picking 10 or so, which is, I think, how many he said, but it took him several months, but eventually, I think partly because I kept on binding him. And I was super polite. I was like, I know you're busy. I know you're overwhelmed. I know you're whatever you have a life. I just would love to see these when you get a chance. But he did finally send them to me about 10 of them. And it was really interesting because I never see the bottom of my feet. That's a part of the body that most of us never get a chance to see. And I didn't really know what they looked like. And now I know what they look like. And it would take him a while to get them to you. You know, if you took 300 pictures or more of your feet and he's hired lots of other women to be foot models for him, he's probably got hundreds of thousands of photos that he has to masturbate to every day. Like, did you ask him what he does with all these photos? Is it just to own them and possess them? Or does he peruse them? Does he put them all over his apartment on the walls? Does he have a screensaver that's just these pictures cycling constantly on every screen in the apartment? You have lots of wonderful ideas for this guy about what he can do with his bucket. I know that he's married and his wife thinks his fetish is kind of funny. And I know he's photographed her feet, but I don't know how he's- How he finds the time to enjoy all of these photographs. I don't know if it's just the act of taking them. I don't care. He paid me for a service and I provided it, you know? I mean, he could do whatever he wants with them. Marie, thank you so much for coming on the show and telling us about your first experience as a sex worker, your first experience as a foot fetish model, and for really demonstrating for people out there who might be tempted, if they got a similar offer, about how to go about it. Best practices. Ask for references. Check those references. That meet in public and your hardcore business woman negotiating skills. Well done. Excellent work. Thank you. Thank you, Marie. If you- yes, you out there listening to the sound of my voice right now, if you tried something new and you want to talk with me about it, write it down and send it to us at q-at-savage.love. And you may be my guest next week on After Action Report. After Action Report.