When your life is on the line and everything is exposed, there are no secrets. That's what happened. There was no dignity left between my dad and mum. And I'm not talking about typical marriage things, I'm talking about fear, life itself. your values become exposed and that is what happened to my mum and dad. They could not repair that again. And that happened on the boat? Yeah. And it might not have happened if you hadn't been on the boat? No, no, no. And this is why I say it's all fake in a way. We make it fake so that we can get on with it because what is real about us is sometimes a little bit ghastly and it should not be exposed or discussed. And it was too late for them. It had happened. And you all saw that? We saw it all. My dad is a hero A flawed hero But Dougal was not a flawed hero to my mum Dougal was exposed She had seen him I think we were seeing the truth At last The truth of their relationship Was out couldn't be put back in the bottle again after that. These were their true feelings. So do you think you were watching the beginning of the end of their marriage? Yeah, yeah. Well, it didn't matter, though, because I thought we were going to die anyway. This is Adrift, an Apple original podcast produced by Blanchard House. I'm Becky Milligan. . Episode 7.itanatic. Savages. 34 days adrift. The white-hot disk of the sun beat mercilessly on our little craft. I cursed everyone. No room to move. No privacy. Keep your bloody knees out of the way. No escape The stress is beginning to take its toll One night, Dougal and Lynne can't sleep We talked of the farming life we had left behind us back in England My mum said that she wanted to go back to farming I'll never go back, Lynne There's more to living than that brutish existence No way He hated farming It was the worst episode of his life That stunned my mother. It was Dougal's idea that we buy a farm and he would farm. That was his idea, not my mother's. Before long, all the pent-up resentments from the past erupt. The guilt, the despair, the regrets. Why? We didn't have any money. And she blamed my dad for that. But you wanted that life. The only reason it didn't work was you. It wasn't farming that was the problem. It was you, Dougal. That's complete crap. And you know it, Glenn. No, it isn't. No, it isn't. No electricity, no running water. That was all down to you. There's too much time down that bloody pub. I wouldn't have spent all that time down the pub if it wasn't for your nagging, your constant whinging. I had to have a break from you sometimes. Who can blame me? You're a father. You have a family. It's your job to provide for us, and you never did. You just were up to it. You failed. The hardship of living on the farm. Dougal didn't have answers for that. The argument dies away, only to flare up again the next day. Shut up, woman. Shut up, shut up, shut up. The argument's never stopped. More and more acrimonious. Living with you is a misery, sheer misery. Years and years of misery. Lynn cried as I flung savage accusations at her for the years of nagging and misery she'd put me through. How could you do, Bill? How could you say that now? We could all die. He said he tasted a different life. A new life. No more getting up at four in the morning to milk the cows. No more of those terrible winters. I feel free. In the past few weeks, I've become a new person. and if we're lucky enough to make it home, life, for me anyway, life's going to change. With or without us. What was happening to him? What would happen to all of us if he abandoned us? If we weren't part of his future? I cried silently for the rest of the day My mum loved my dad She loved him till the day she died But Dougal was a tough man Douglas can't bear to listen any longer. Stop arguing. Your arguments are killing us. There's something that's been playing on Lynne's mind. None of us had gone to the toilet yet. Haven't had a poo for days. And my mum being a nurse was worried. Because if you don't poo, you can get really ill. It could kill you. Lynne has an idea. The enema? The enema, a medical procedure which involves inserting liquid into your rectum to help you poop. Lynne has made her own enema. She's using rubber tubing salvaged from the raft, and for the liquid she's scooped up whatever's swilling around in the bottom of the dinghy. Rainwater, seawater, mixed in turtle blood. They could never drink this. It would make them really sick. But Lynne's a nurse, and she knows that if this concoction is going up the other end, it's a lot safer. She's all ready. Lynne gets to work. We were just saying, where's the water going? And we realised that the body was sucking the water out of the enema tube to rehydrate it. it wasn't going to make them go to the toilet because the body was taking the water for itself, so to speak. And we thought, my God, we can drink dirty water through this process. I think it's so innovative. Yeah, fantastic. Good old Linda. We absorbed between a pint and two pints each, far more than our shrunken stomachs could take. Lynne administers an enema to everyone. Everyone except Robin. The enema. Ooh. It was a bit too much for him. Oh, I'm all right, you know, I don't need this. And I very politely said, not for me. That night, they all go to sleep in their usual places. The twins and Dougal squeeze together at the front of the dinghy. My dad would lie at the bottom and the twins would lie on top of him, overlapping each other. What's a stink! Next morning, Sandy wakes up. Mum, look! It's disgusting! In the end, the enema does work. The experience was exhausting and left me weak and trembling for almost an hour afterwards. but the satisfaction of knowing that my body was again functioning normally was encouraging. An hour later, Douglas followed suit. Lynne is relieved. She thought, job done. Dougal is perfectly still, homemade fishing rod in hand. Looking down into the sea Waiting Ready Eyes trained on the prize in the water There were beasts Dorados Fierce and fast fish There was a technique and Dougal had owned that technique Got it! They would go like a rocket Nice one, Dad! Success He's hooked it Look out! I jerked the rod upwards and swung the fish into the boat. 20 pounds of bone and muscle in the bottom of the dinghy. We'd all descend on it and we'd kill it and take it apart. To see the ocean, to live off the ocean, to actually be a part of the ocean. It's beautiful. You look into the deep blue water and you seem to be part of it. You know, that beauty. And in the very next instant, it can kill you. Unless you kill it first. Their fifth week, in the middle of the Pacific, alone. Another day had gone past and we'd survived another night. We had enough food and enough water and we were surviving. They're learning all the time, adapting, becoming people of the sea. We noticed that if sharks were around, the Dorado weren't. And it's frustrating. Dougal's on a roll and he wants to catch more Dorado. But one particular shark, a small one, just won't go away. He was hanging around, frightening after the Dorado. We were all saying, bloody shark. Dougal's had enough. I'm going to have that. I'm going to have that bloody shark. I said you're bloody mad. Dougal ignores him. It risky They never caught a shark before But he stubborn And anyway he not going to be told what to do by Douglas He grabs his homemade fishing rod Dougal lowered the hook. Using a bit of old fish as bait. And the shark turned and realised that it was a hook. Too late. Yes! Got him! We had him. We had the shark on the end of a line. Dougal falls as hard as he can. I grab the tail. The water's erupting. The boat's tipping and rocking. The twins are hanging over the other side of the dinghy. He's coming over. Father and son drag the shark over the side. And Dougal somehow got him down into the bottom of the dinghy. Mind the head. It's got jaws, it's got teeth. And it started to snap. My mother shoved this oar in its mouth. I rammed the paddle into its gaping mouth and it clamped shut. Dougal has to kill it. Cut its head off. I stabbed its head and eye again and again. Until the head was severed. Dougal passes it to Douglas. There's your bloody head. I held the head in my hands. Look at that head! Douglas held it up like a trophy. They've done it. It's their biggest catch, and the predator they fear most. Proud Robertsons. Sharks eat humans. Robertsons eat sharks. Good one, Dad! But I'd spoken too soon Jaw shut And my hand was in its mouth Bloody hell he bit me He bit him He bit him I couldn't believe it He bit Douglas Me and Neil didn't have much sympathy He should be more careful shouldn't he I just can't believe that The head separated from the body Still bit you Yeah I know Well neither could I Dougal sets to work on the headless carcass. Gave us all a strip of fresh shark. All the fluid in the meat just filled your mouth. This is so good. For weeks they've been surviving on a diet of raw red turtle meat. But this is something else. Just like eating white steak. After that, Dougal takes the knife and slices open the belly. They got spilled out. A surprise, a special gift from the shark. Inside, warm, semi-digested fish. Like it had been baked in the oven. We felt like we were masters of our kingdom. They are now the apex predators and to show their prowess. We had this double jawbone sitting on the top of the mast for display, as if to show all the other sharks, this is what happens to you lot. This is where your jawbone will be. Better look out. You know, you'll be next. It was victory. Victory. Then more good news. The weather was changing, the sea was changing. They're moving out of the doldrums. At dusk, the castaways look up at the sky, the twinkling stars, Jupiter, the constellation of Scorpio, the Southern Cross, which points to the south. They spot something. Like a giant signpost in the heavens. The Pole Star. The Pole Star. The North Star. It's the first time they've seen it. This is why you've got to know your stars. We're going in the right direction. We're not just drifting about. We're moving north. North. Closer to land. Closer to home. We'd become savages. We were not the same people. We had beaten the ocean at its own game. We'd dealt with the worst that it could throw at us. We had come to terms with it. We are part of this now. Part of the sea. Part of the system. Part of the struggle. We were all still alive. We were tired and exhausted, starving and thirsty. But despite everything, we were still here. And where there was life, there was hope. Hope that we would catch more food. Hope that we would catch more rain. Hope that the weather would remain calm and, dare I say, I hoped that we would make it back to land. Oh, take a good look at all this. Look around you, take it all in. This beauty. Never forget it You may not come this way again The stillness of the moment the quietness of the moment the remoteness of the moment Just breathe it in. And when the sun has gone down... It seemed the whole marine world lay beneath us, locked in the never-ending struggle to survive. We could appreciate it all. the savagery and the beauty as we faced our own mortality. It was the uncertainty of life. You didn't know whether you were going to be alive this time tomorrow. And then the sun would rise and you'd say, well, I've survived another night. Somehow we've survived another night. Now we've just got to deal with today. You bloody fool! You bloody fool! Day 31. Catastrophe. We discovered the plastic water bag was empty. And it was Robin's job to tie it. Almost all our water was gone. Accidentally, of course, but what an idiot. A vital part of our water supply has suddenly disappeared into the bottom of the boat. And Dougal was, understandably, somewhat cross about that. I fought to control my anger. You could see it boiling up in him. An angry man. An angry man. You bloody fool. You bloody fool. OK, it's happened. It's a mistake. We knew that we were in trouble. It's happening all over again. from the huge high of killing a shark and believing they're masters of the ocean to this. Every little mistake has a massive, massive repercussion. They have very little water and there's no rain. It was really down to the last few drops. The daily sips get smaller and smaller. Two drops of water to drink. It was down to that much. There were rain clouds about, and we looked at them longingly. You know, please come, come. But they didn't. Our Father who art in heaven, where are you? We had been without water for three days. I got very, very thirsty. And that feeling of thirst, does it drive you mad? Yeah, yeah, you can't think. I was worried at how fast Douglas was deteriorating. Deep shadows under his eyes betrayed how weak he was. I could see the shadow of death in his sunken cheeks. And the sun beats down on them all without mercy. And as I watched him, I realised that Douglas was looking back at me. He said, forgive me. I don't want to carry on, Dad. I've had enough. I thought I was a burden to everybody I just was tired I was tired I didn't want to carry on And Dougal said, look son You can't give up now Do not let your bright light go out Do not let your bright light go out We need you, son It's so easy to let go. Really? It's so easy. It's hard work, survival. Hard work, non-stop. Non-stop. It's so easy to just let go. You've been listening to Adrift, an Apple Original podcast produced by Blanchard House and hosted by me, Becky Milligan. Adrift is written and produced by Ben Crichton and me, Becky Milligan. The series is based on the book The Last Voyage of the Lucette by Douglas Robertson. Original score by Daniel Lloyd-Evans, Louis Nankmanel and Toby Matamon. Sound design by Vulcan Kiseltug and Daniel Lloyd-Evans with dialogue editing by Toby Matimon The lead sound engineer is Vulcan Kiseltug The part of Dougal Robertson is played by Mark Bonner and Lynne Robertson is played by Anne-Marie Duff Their words are adapted from Dougal and Lynne's own accounts of their story The young Robertson twins are played by Rocco Hamill and Dexter Hutton. Other parts are played by Mark Gillis. The managing producer is Amika Shortino-Nolan. The creative director of Blanchard House is Rosie Pye. The executive producer and head of content at Blanchard House is Lawrence Griselle. Thank you.
