244: Justin found his mom

Sometimes there comes a moment in your life when everything changes. You might have a little warning ahead of time, or it might come as a complete surprise. It might be a surprise that makes your whole life better. Or it could be news that's devastating. We never know. That's just how life works. Justin had a moment like that. He was adopted the day after he was born, so he never knew his birth mother. He had a wonderful childhood and he loves his family, but he always wondered about the woman who actually gave birth to him. Then that moment came. They found each other. Justin told this story on the podcast more than seven years ago. And one of the things I love about this episode is a surprise I had for him during our conversation. You'll hear it right after the second ad break. I hope you love this story as much as I do. Real people in unreal situations. The eerie silence when I walked in and he's just staring at me. I was like, hello, like, are you okay? And then I had to tell him it was me. There was just blood everywhere. They're shouting, they're screaming, they're being hit by bullets, they're hitting the ground. And in that moment, I literally thought, this is how I die. Everything changed then. And I just thought to myself, this isn't happening. Every single story deserves to be heard. I'm Scott Johnson, and this is What Was That Like? I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of Heavyweight... And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a joke. A man who robbed a bank when he was 14 years old. And a centenarian rediscovers a love lost 80 years ago. How can a 101-year-old woman fall in love again? Listen to Heavyweight wherever you get your podcasts. Here on the podcast, we've had a number of episodes with people telling their story of being attacked by an animal. and those episodes are always pretty popular, partly because it's pretty scary and because it can happen to any of us. 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Scary black bears, spider bites with very unexpected side effects, even pet chimpanzees who sometimes go on a violent rampage. With almost 300 episodes, there's something for everyone. Listen to Tooth and Claw today and get better informed before you venture out into the great outdoors and learn how you can enjoy the toothy, hairy, scaly, and creepy creatures of the world in a way that's safe for them and safe for you. New Tooth and Claw episodes drop every Monday wherever you get your podcasts. I want to jump right in here and ask you a question right off the bat. Okay. Right now, You're 26 years old and you just met for the first time a woman who gave you birth. How does that feel? I mean, there's honestly really no one way to describe how it feels. When I say that it's an emotion that I've never experienced, I'm not just saying that. It's truly something that you have to be in that situation to understand what that's like. And one of the things that makes it so interesting to me is that, you know, most people who, you know, were raised by their adoptive, their biological parents, they don't even think twice about it. They just look at their mom, you know, like, yeah, they're like, you know, that's my mom. Yeah, whatever. I see her every day. But it's something that's so sacred to people who are adopted because they never knew that. And it's so crazy because it's so special to me. But, you know, like it's so commonplace to other to most people because most people were raised by their biological parents. And so when I met her, it was like I was seeing everything that I wanted to see my whole life. And when I, you know, when I looked at her face, I saw, you know, bits and pieces of my face. And when I looked at my my sister's face and other other members of my family, it was like it was unreal because, I mean, it was like I said, you know, most people, they just look at their parents like, yeah, I look like my mom or whatever. But when I did, I mean, you know, it moved me to tears because it's like, this is, you know, this is my bloodline. This is where I come from. And that's just, that's, that's so incredible to me, to witness, to bear witness to that and to see where I actually come from. That's just unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. We take it for granted or most people take it for granted. Yeah. And it's just, it's always been. Yeah. It's just something like you don't think about, you know, it's because, I mean, especially if you're raised by them, it's just like, it's like, yeah, that's my mom. I love him, but it's nothing new. But to me, it's something that's so common. It's just a whole world opening up to me that I've never seen before. Right. That's awesome. All right. Let's just go back a little bit and get the backstory on what led up to this. At what age you were adopted as a baby? Is that right? Yeah. I was adopted when I was about one day old, actually. Yeah. Wow. Okay. One day old. And do you know why, what were the circumstances that she decided to give you up for adoption? Well, that's interesting because I knew growing up, one thing is I've always known that I've been adopted. That's never been a secret. And one of the things that my adoptive mom always made sure that I knew was that she never wanted me to think that Heather didn't want me. And I grew up knowing that. And when I finally met her, she explained to me, she was like, she's like, giving you up was the most painful thing that I've ever done in my life. and it was so difficult. She told me it was the longest drive home ever after she had to give me up. And she said the only reason she couldn't is because she wanted, at the time in her life, she wasn't able to provide everything that she wanted to for me. So as hard as it was, she said she would rather let another family raise me just so that I could have those opportunities because she wasn't able to provide those for me at the time. And she wanted what was best for me. And she had to sacrifice raising me just to give me that, which I think is beyond heroic. It's, oh, what courage to make a decision like that that's so difficult. Yeah. Knowing that it's the right decision. Yeah, that's the thing. And it's a mountainous decision. I mean, I can't even imagine. I mean, just passing on raising me just so that I can have what she wanted me to have. That's just, that's mind-blowing. And it sounds like Sandy, your adoptive mom, was very much aware of that and wanted you to understand what was behind that decision. Yeah. She never wanted me to think that, oh, she didn't want me. I was an accident. That was never on the table. It was always like the only reason that she didn't keep me was because she wanted to make sure I had the best life that I could have. do you remember how old you were when she first told you honestly i really can't i think i if i had to ballpark it i guess i was probably around maybe five or so i know it was like i was kind of around the age where i could you know a child can kind of start to understand that concept so but i know it was she told me as early as possible she didn't want me she didn't want me growing up and it being a surprise and i i honestly think that's where like the the bad stigma of adoption comes from like you know and the funny thing is like you know growing up when i would tell people that i'm adopted they would be like oh my god i'm so sorry but but it's like i don't really understand where that where that stigma comes from because i'm like no it's fine i was like i like that i embrace that about myself and but it was never it was always uh an out in the out in the open thing that i've always known and i think that's how that's how it should be for any adopted child i don't think it should ever be a secret and then suddenly revealed at a later age Right. Yeah. As soon as you're old enough to understand. Yeah. As a child, interacting with other kids and your friends, did you ever have any sense of feeling different? Actually, no. I mean, for the most part, I mean, the fact that I was adopted never really kind of like stepped into my everyday life, especially like with kids and stuff. I did have a really good childhood friend. His name was Luke. We were best friends when we were really young, and he was also adopted. And I think that was one of the things that brought us closer together as friends. Oh, I bet. Yeah. And it was really cool because, you know, we talked about it a lot and it was just really neat. And he was the only friend that I had that shared that in me. But I think that's what brought us close. But no, I mean, for the most part, it was just kind of something that I told people as I first met him. And then that just kind of came a special fact that they knew about me. So did you in the adoptive family growing up, did you have any siblings in that family? Yes, I did. I had a sister. Her name was Brooke. And she, when they adopted me, she was 12 years old. And so now I believe she's 36 or 37 now. And yeah, she, yeah, she's, but I've only had one sister and that's all I've had. And she's always been much older. So I've never had, you know, like a sibling, like close to my age that I could kind of like, I mean, I've been friends with my sister, but it's different when they're, you know, 12 years older than you. Cause you know, there's an age gap and you don't get along as well as somebody closer to your age. Right. They're hanging out with other friends. Exactly. And that kind of thing. Yeah. All right. Well, let's talk about this, your search. Oh, yes. How did you, well, first of all, when you decided, how old were you when you decided you wanted to find Heather, your biological mom? Honestly, well, it started out as kind of like something where I would say like, you know, yeah, I might want to find them one day because I know some people do. And I was like TV shows about that kind of stuff. I'm like, that seems to be pretty cool. But when I was younger, I wasn't really adamant about it, but I was definitely open to the idea. But I kind of probably around maybe like 12 or 13 when I started really using computers and stuff, I was like, well, I could probably use the web to do some searching. And so kind of fast forward over the years, you know, I would I would go on these like kicks where I would just like go into these deep searches and I would try to find, you know, like any kind of Heathers that would match up with the name. And I had sent so many messages to so many Heathers that I thought might be my mom. And so many of them were like, oh, no, sorry, but best of luck to you. I wish I was your mom. But but I mean, yeah, it's just it's I've searched a lot. And the thing is, I don't think my birth records were still... Well, the thing is, what kind of made me a little bit hopeless sometimes about finding them is that it was a closed adoption and very little information was exchanged between the adoption agency. That was one of the questions I wanted to ask is what information did you have to start with? Oh, yeah. What did you go by? Yeah. So I had two things. I had my biological mother's name, Heather. That's all I had. And then I knew that my mother's father was a preacher. And that's all I knew. And all I knew was the general area they lived in. And it wasn't much to go off of, but it's just a lot of failed messages here and there. But I mean, it's been a long search for sure. I mean, it's been a lot of effort going into this. Right Okay So so going on just based on that information how did you end up actually coming across the details that you needed to and putting it all together So basically what happened was my Sandy sent me this link when I was I don remember where I was when she sent it to me but it was an article And it was an article about a preacher. And she texted me, she texted the link to me for the article. She said, I think this might be your grandfather. You might want to look into it. And I was like, oh, okay, well, that's cool. And it was an article from 2014. And it was like some sort of event they were having. And it was like a promotional article, if I remember correctly. And this event was here in Florida. Is that right? Yes. Yeah, it was here in Florida. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, okay. I was like, so I Googled the name. And I came across an obituary. And I was like, huh. And so I clicked the link. And I found it was my grandpa. And he had passed away. And the crazy thing is he had passed away about two weeks before I had found all this. So I was so close to meeting him. And I was thinking, like, is this really happens? Did he really die? I was like, what kind of timing is this? I'm like, but I was mind blown. But so I read the obituary. And I looked at his wife. And I looked at the survived by section. And then I found, it said he has survived by this, that, and his daughter, Heather. and I was like no way I was like this is I was like this this has to be it I was like this has to be the first solid lead I've ever had you know and so much coincidence there yeah that's and that's the thing I was like there's no way that this is a coincidence I was like this has to be her so I tried to search her up on Facebook and Google and I still kind of came up empty-handed with that but then I searched his name I don't know and then I searched um his wife's name and then I found her on Facebook. And then after I found her on Facebook, I, um, I was like, Oh, I compared her to the picture on the obituary. Cause you know, it was him and his wife in the obituary. And, uh, so I was like, Oh yeah, that's his wife. So I sent a Facebook message to her, which is, you know, my grandma. And, um, and I said, uh, I said, Hey, um, I was like, I was like, my name is Justin Walker. I was like, um, do you have a daughter named Heather? And I never got a response from her, but I looked at her friends list and then I was able to find Heather on her friends list. And then I looked through and then I just started crying. I was like, this is her. I was like, this is my mother. You know, cause I started seeing my own features in her face and just seeing her doing stuff. And I was like, this is, I mean, it's just, it's truly bizarre to, to witness that for the first time ever when you've never had before. That's gotta be, you know, the only thing I can compare it to is when you buy a lottery ticket and you're reading the numbers and it says that you just won $50 million. Yeah. It's almost like you're outside of your own body thinking, is this really happening? Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what I felt. I was like, this is actually happening. I was like, I actually, I mean, so many people go on this chase that I've been going on and so many people come up empty handed all the time. But I mean, I actually found it. I found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. No, I mean, it's just so sought after. All right. So when you found her on Facebook, you contacted her by sending a Facebook message? Yes. And she replied to that message. Can you just read that back and forth message exchange? Yeah. This is between you and your biological mom, Heather. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Hold on. Let me get it up here. Here it is. Okay. Let me just go to the top of our messages here. And this happened, this was only like eight weeks ago that this actually took place. Yeah. Yeah. This happened like at the tail end of May. So yeah, it wasn't that long ago. Okay. Here it is. Okay. So I said, hello, Ms. Davis. My name is Justin Walker and I was born in March 8th, 1992. Did you give a child up for adoption during that time? And then I said, I understand that there's a chance that this might be a sensitive subject. and a few days went by because I know Facebook's a little finicky. If you're not friends with somebody that, you know, they won't get their message or whatever. And then one day, uh, I was wrapping up at work. I get off work at five o'clock and it was four 30 and then I get a Facebook notification. And then I just, I just started shaking. I mean, it's truly unbelievable. She says, she says, Oh my gosh, Justin. Yes, yes, yes. Are you my son? And that was just, I mean, And that hit me like a brick wall when she said that. She said, I have prayed that this day would come. When I saw your birth date on the message, I cannot even put into words the joy that came over me. Are you in Florida? And I mean, talk about feeling like you won the lottery. It was like that tinfoil right there. That's amazing. So how did you respond to that? So I said, I absolutely don't even have words right now. Yes, I'm definitely your son. I said, I am in Florida. I said, I'm currently staying. I'm staying in Lakeland for the summer because I have an internship here. And I said, I said, I've wondered about you my whole life. And it's just indescribable to put a face with a name that's always meant so much to me. And then to that, she replied, she said, our whole family is beyond thrilled that you have found us. You have no idea. Justin, we live in hometown, Florida, about 30 minutes away from where you are. I knew that your adoptive parents lived in Florida at the time of your birth, but I didn't know where. I'm so happy you are close. God is good. Do your parents know that you reached out to me? We looked at your photo on Facebook, and there's no doubt that you are my biological son. so much resemblance you are such a handsome young man i'm sure you have a lot of questions which i'm happy to answer we want to hear all about your life if you're okay with it we would love to see you we're going on a trip friday but we'll be back and uh then she started asking me like what i majored in in college and and then it just kind of like goes into stuff from there but um so what's going through your head as you're reading this well um so she sent me the message and then i uh I was like, I was like, I don't know if I should respond right away. So I started like, I started calling my mom, started calling my girlfriend. I started like calling everyone. And I was like, this is really happening. And so I was sitting in my car when I, when I said the reply. And I mean, my heart was just about to jump out of my chest. I just, I still couldn't believe this. I mean, it was just so, it didn't feel real is the thing. It honestly didn't feel, it felt like I was in a dream or something. And I mean, I mean, I get the shakes just talking about it, but I mean, it's, it was just unbelievable how that I was actually talking to her. Like this, the person who gave birth to me 26 years ago. Now I'm talking to them on Facebook messenger. Like if you told, if you told me I was going to do that, if you told me I was going to be doing that like a week ago, I would have told you you lost your mind. You know? Right. Right. Because you've been searching so long and hitting so many dead ends. Yeah. Absolutely. Now all of a sudden here it is. Yeah. All right. So you guys decided on to meet and where did you, where did you actually meet each other? So we at first we were talking about like maybe meeting in a park or maybe like at a restaurant or something. But we ultimately came to the conclusion that, you know, a restaurant might be a little too loud. And also, I don't want to cry in a restaurant like with a bunch of people. And it was really, really hot. So we're like a park might not be the best idea. So she was like, she's like, you're more than welcome to come to our house. And I was like, OK, sure. I was like, we might as well. And so we scheduled for that following Friday. And then me and my girlfriend traveled up to meet Sandy and the town that they were in. And we stayed in a hotel that night and we got up in the morning and went straight to the house. And I remember so I got out of the car and because and I told them that I wanted that first moment to be with with, you know, only me and her just because that's what this is all about. Not out of not out of selfishness, but, you know, it's I felt like I had a right to that. You know what I mean? I think everyone understands that. Yeah. Yeah. And so I did that and I walked up and they were recording me and they had I was walking up to the door and I was about to knock on the door. And I remember my hand just started shaking. I felt like I was starting to lose control of everything. And I told myself, you know, once this door opens, my life changes forever. And that is just lots of pressure. And I feel like anybody in my position. another thing another thing uh that i was so nervous leading up to this because i mean i knew i wasn't going to disappoint but i it's just i i feel like anybody in this situation has some sort of pressure to you know be what they wanted you to be you know what i mean even though it's dumb because i know they would love me regardless of how i turned out but so anyway so i knocked on the door and they opened they opened up the door and then because my mother opened up the door and And then it was her, my dad, my two sisters, and my grandma were all there. And they were all in tears. And it was like I was looking into another dimension through that threshold. I mean, I just remember I just lunged into my mom and just hugged her as tight as I could. And, you know, obviously, we both just broke down and started sobbing. I'm sure everyone there was. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was just we were just swimming in tears. Everybody was crying. it's overwhelming enough just to meet your mom your actual birth mom for the first time but then to have you just got a whole new family yeah that's the thing like my family has expanded largely now and then that's what that was one of the most interesting things and one of the another cool thing that i thought was just amazing was um the fact that my uh birth parents are still together you know and you know the interesting thing is statistically because you know, they were young when they had me. And statistically, couples that go through that usually don't stay together. You know, it's the vast minority of them who do. And when she told me, you know, later on in our Facebook conversation, she told me that she said, you're, she said, I'm still with your father, you know, I'm married to him. And she said, you have, and then she said, you have two full blood biological sisters. And then, I mean, you know, I felt like I was flying And she said, one of them is 16, one of them is 19. I was like, you're kidding me. I was like, that is nuts. Because something that I always thought it would play out that I would meet them and she remarried and I have maybe a half sibling or something. But I mean, it's like everything's just untouched. Everything's exactly how it was, which is, whew. So if you could have scripted this, it couldn't have turned out any better than what you would have wanted. Yeah, no, truly. And we talked about that when we first met after, you know, after we stopped crying and, you know, calmed down and sat down, we talked about how this, this literally could not have gone any better. And I'm so grateful for how it is because I've heard lots of horror stories where, you know, people go after their biological parents and then it turns out to be disastrous, you know, and it ends up just scarring them. And then maybe they're like, you know, I don't want to have anything to do with you. Or, you know, I mean, I feel like everyone kind of like worries just a little bit about that in the back of their head when when during this search, because it's a very real possibility and you have to prepare for that. But I'm just so, so grateful that everything just everything just worked out perfectly in unison. And another thing that I thought was really neat was that my sisters grew up knowing about me, which I thought was so cool. I wasn't surprised to them, you know, as soon as they could understand things, they told, she told them that I, you know, they had a brother that was out there somewhere, but they knew, they knew about my whole life. And so it was equally special to them to meet me as it was for me to meet them. Wow. Yeah. And it was powerful. Now, were you, once you've met them, were you, were you surprised by anything, anything unexpected? I don't think so. Um, it all kind of felt natural to be honest. I, uh, it all just kind of felt natural because, you know, when they're in, immediately we just started like having conversation and, uh, the conversation flowed really easily. There was no awkward points. It, I just felt like got along with them. And, um, another thing is, uh, I noticed like their mannerisms are similar to mine, which I thought was really cool. Cause I mean, they, they are me, you know, and I think that had a lot to do with the fact that there was, there were no awkward points. It was, it was a very smooth transition and it was just, it couldn't have gone any better, but there were, there were no surprises for the most part. What were some of the stories you wanted to share with each other? Oh gosh. That was one of the things that we talked about. Like, like, you know, what been going on in your life And well I don think we we shared a lot of stories at first but I do know that Sandy brought my baby book and it had you know like all these pictures of me doing things throughout my childhood and growing up you know so that we kind of like looked at looked at pictures and told stories of what going on in those pictures But I don't think there's any really big hitting stories. I just told him that, you know, how I went to high school and I'm currently in college and I'm majoring in graphic design. but I think that's that's really the only thing story-wise we touched on but mostly we I just talked about um you know the photos like here's me doing this and blah blah and then I would elaborate on that right because that's your that's your whole childhood and she hasn't seen you yeah and that's and I think that's what she was most interested in because she wanted to see you know how I was developing because she wasn't able to do that you know and for for a year well her whole life she said she always wondered like what you know you know what's he doing and every time March 8th would roll around. She'd be like, I wonder what he's doing for his birthday. And it was even a thing for their family. I remember before my grandpa passed away, he would say that he would send a text to Heather and would say, you know, it's March 8th. You know, I wonder what he's, I wonder what he's doing. I wonder what he's up to nowadays. And it was always something I was always present in their minds, which is something that I really hold dear. You know, what is, is there any particular stories that she wanted you to know? I'm trying to think. So one of the stories that I know that she wanted me to know was I thought this was really cool. I didn't know this. My my grandfather actually baptized me when I was a day old before, you know, before I had to be separated with Heather. And I thought that was really cool. And that's all. That's another thing that I hold super close because I never knew that, you know. And I know that Heather wanted me to be raised in a Christian home. And I was and I'm still Christian to this day. and I just thought that was beautiful that they did that and it's just it just it just you know amplifies just just how much they cared about me and how much how much they didn't want to let me go and that just means the world to me. Justin since we're talking about some things that your birth mother wanted to tell you after all these years I've got something here for you to listen to. Okay. Dear Justin, at the time of your birth, I so wanted to be able to take you home and raise you as I had fallen in love with you during the nine months you were in my belly. All your kicks and movements were so exciting to me, and I loved to talk to you and had such a wonder of what you would look like. You were such a blessing to me through those nine months. Although there was never a doubt that by placing you up for adoption was the right choice for you, I did grieve the loss of coming home without you from the hospital. Our whole family did. However, I had such a peace that God has had his hand in this since the beginning and always felt like you were okay. Every birthday that passed, I wondered, what does he look like? What is his name? What is he doing on this special day? I always hoped and prayed that someday we would find each other, but also had started to lose hope after so many years had passed and we had not connected. You were always in my heart, as well as your fathers and your grandparents, who were there at your birth as well. The time I spent with you in the hospital was priceless and painful as I knew that soon I would have to say goodbye and your new family would be coming to take you home. A few months ago when I received your text message, I nearly fell out of my chair. There are no words to explain the complete euphoria I felt when I read your message. I was almost frozen for about five minutes in disbelief. This was a dream come true. The first time we met was so surreal. I could not wrap my mind around the fact that this precious baby that I had given birth to and held and said goodbye to 26 years ago was standing face to face with me finally. Meeting your adoptive mother was so precious to me as well. Here was this wonderful woman who I entrusted your life with and who fulfilled every promise about how she would raise you at the time I was pregnant. I owe her everything. You have grown into such an incredible, handsome, smart, and loving young man I could never be more proud and thankful that I was the one blessed to give you life. You are and always will be precious to us, and we have always loved you more than you can ever conceive. Love, Mom. Oh, man. Even listening to that kind of chokes me off a little. Me too. Jeez. oh god it's it's so it's so it's so it's such a good such a full circle and complete feeling to know that you know she she's proud of me and she's proud to see what i've become and that i mean honestly there's nothing it feels like the ultimate accomplishment you know it's for her to for to where i come from you know my blood to be proud of who i am that's just so fulfilling that first day you met how long did you talk Oh my gosh. Uh, we, we talked pretty much all day. I got there, I think at around, uh, 10 or 11, I believe. And, uh, we cried for about 30 minutes and then we sat down and, uh, then we just, I remember, um, Sandy had, you know, the baby book and, um, then we looked through those. And then, uh, another thing that I thought was amazing was I found out that Heather actually had a baby book of her own. And I thought that was so cool because it had pictures, you know, even though she only had me for about 24 hours, she took as many photos and as many, you know, happy moments as she could so that she could have that. And, um, she had my, the, my wrist strap from when I was an infant, you know, and she had that in there and she had photos of, you know, her holding me and stuff. And it's just, it's, it, it meant so much because, you know, as little time as she had, she wanted to make the absolute most of that 24 hours because you know as far as she knew that would be the last that she would ever see me and it was just i mean it made me cry but it made me smile and just to see seeing those pictures because you know when i look at those pictures it's like those are now the first photo those are now the earliest photos i've seen of myself right and it's just a sense of origin to see those and it was beautiful i mean but yeah so so we'll see yeah so we talked for um i remember we talked for about three hours and And then Sandy had to leave because she had to go to New York with my sister. They had like a trip planned already. So she had to be back where I'm from and they had to catch a plane. But after that, Brandy and I stayed behind and we talked with them more and more. And we just kind of like started talking about like little things that, you know, normally you would find out over the years naturally. We started talking about, you know, like your hobbies, you know, you like spicy food. What's your favorite this? What's your favorite that? We started talking about all kinds of stuff. And I remember I remember feeling one particular time when it was me and my girlfriend, Brandy, and we were all of us were just standing in the kitchen. And I just kind of had this not to sound not to sound exaggerating, but kind of like a like a sort of an out of body experience real quick because I kind of felt disconnected from myself, but not in a bad way. It just like the sense of, is this happening was so profound that I honestly felt like I was like what my eyes, what my eyes were seeing. I was watching it on TV. It was just like, because I just still couldn't believe it. I don't think my mind was, was truly wrapping around what was happening, that it was finally, you know, culminating after all this time. And I was, I was, I was casually standing in a kitchen talking with my biological family. And I never in a million years thought that would happen. but it was beautiful. Now, when you were first born, did Heather and Sandy meet each other face-to-face at that time? No, they'd actually never seen each other. Because what happened was they got me through an adoption agency. And I remember Heather had to leave me at the hospital. And then the adoption agency, one of the attorneys, They came and got me and then brought me outside to Sandy and my family, Brooke. And so, but yeah, they never met. And one of the most fascinating points was there was a photo of the attorney carrying me out to Sandy. And Heather thought that was just so cool. And I did too, because that was the connecting point that she never got to see. Because I mean, that photo was taken maybe 20 minutes after she said goodbye. And she got to see, you know, what happened afterward. And I can't imagine the closure that has to bring. And so now they've also met for the first time. Yeah. And yeah, when as soon as Sandy hugged Heather, that was also crazy to see, you know, I mean, my adoptive and biological mom, like hugging, I was like, another thing I never thought would happen. Yeah, that was just crazy to see. And they met and they, of course, you know, they both just sobbed and they hugged each other, you know, because I mean, they're both so special to me in different ways. But I mean, it's a whole lot of good crying going on in this whole situation. Yeah, it was nuts. All right. Well, going forward, how many times have you met since that initial meeting? So we met our first time and then we met two times. We met a time after that. And then I believe the time after that was Father's Day. And I was like, this is a perfect opportunity because, you know, I'm going to get to spend my first Father's Day, you know, with a biological dad. and kind of like elaborating on my dad a little bit. One of the cool things about that was my adoptive parents have been divorced since I was about around 10 years old or so. So it's been a very, very long time since I said the word dad, you know, called someone dad. And I just, I kind of like, you know, growing up like in teenhood, you know, like I taught myself, you know, like how to shave, how to talk to girls, this and that and stuff. so it was i kind of forgot what it was like to have that father figure so when i when i found you know when when i met him you know we immediately hit it off and he's one of the things that i love so much is that he is he's real jokey you know there's a lot of reciprocity between us and we're real just like you know back and forth and joke around and he's just real easy going and i mean honestly i just see myself when i look at him and that's what makes me so happy i mean i just immediately there's a connection you know i have a lot in common with this guy And I know we're going to get along. And I mean, I can't wait for the memories to follow. He's got 26 years of corny dad jokes to catch up on. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. That's for sure. Do you feel like you really, quote unquote, know each other yet? Or is there just a whole lot still left to explore? Honestly, I think a little bit of both. I think because we'll kind of rewinding. I forgot to mention this earlier. But before I met them for the first time, Heather was like, if you can, like, I want to she's like, I'd love to talk to you on the phone. And I was like, I was like, oh, boy, I was like, you know, nervous. I'm like, yeah, absolutely. I want because I want to hear her voice. And I remember I was so nervous to make that phone call because, you know, I'm about to hear her voice. And the craziest thing when as soon as she picked up the phone and she said, hello, I know this sounds dumb and I know it. but I swear her voice sounded familiar and I don't know why, but I feel like I'd heard her voice before. And I felt a sense of comfort when I heard it. And I'm not, I'm not sure because I know they say you can, you know, you can hear your mother's voice when you're in the womb. I don't know if there was like some circuit way, way, way back in the back of my head that got lit up after all these years, but I just, I felt like I knew it. So going fast forward, I mean, I felt like there was an instant connection and I feel like I've learned a ton about them, But at the same time, one of the beautiful things about it is I feel like there's still so much that we have left to learn about each other. And that's what makes it so exciting because there's so much uncharted territory. We don't know everything. And I think that amazing that as time goes on the more I meet them the more opportunities I going to have to learn more about them and spend more time with them And that what makes it so exciting What are your plans now for regularly connecting with each other going into the future So as for right now, I have one more semester. My college is about seven hours away from where they live. So right now I'm going to go back to school and finish my last semester at my college. And then my plan right now is to, after I graduate from there, I want to see if I can find a place close to down here because, you know, I want to live like, you know, somewhere near them so that I can keep this up regularly. And so after I graduate, I definitely want to find a place where they are accessible, you know, where they can like, they can be a drive away if I need. Right. Right. And you know what I was thinking, when you go back to school, if any of your classes have an assignment, write an essay, what you did this last summer, I think you're going to have the best story of all of them. oh yeah no for sure and and the thing is every every person that i've told this story to they're always like you're gonna remember this summer for the rest of your life yeah i was thinking you guys should plan and go on a cruise together you know yeah that would be pretty cool you know we i think i think we actually talked about like uh maybe like going on a vacation sometime i think that'd be really cool just kind of like a family vacation i think that'd be pretty cool another thing that was um i thought was so cool um i think this is another crazy coincidence is uh she told me that I have, um, I have an aunt and uncle and, you know, some extended family that live about an hour from where my college is. So when I, whenever I go back, uh, in the, you know, in the next couple of weeks to finish up my last semester, I'm going to go, uh, I'm going to take a few weekends and like, you know, a weekend here and there, and I'm going to go visit them and meet them for the first time. And, you know, they're just, yeah, they're just, they're, they're just as excited as everyone else. I mean, like I said, this whole thing has just caused an earthquake reaction on both sides. A good earthquake. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything, any aspect of this story that we haven't talked about that you want to talk about? Oh yeah. I guess I can elaborate on my sisters a little bit. So yeah, my sisters, just to kind of elaborate on them, it's also been just super cool to see them. And because, you know, like I stated before, you know, I had a sister growing up and, you know, I loved her and, We got along, but she was much older than me. So it was never really... You get what I'm saying. It's better to get along with someone that's closer to your age just because you tend to have more stuff in common. You hang up with the same people kind of stuff. And I thought it was so cool that I had sisters that were closer to my age. And I was like, oh, that's awesome because we're going to get along great. And we do. And I text them every day. And we have each other Snapchat and whatever. And we just chat here and there. We just check up on each other. And when we meet in person, when we just talk, I mean, the conversation will just get flowing. And I mean, it's just it just it feels so natural. You know, it's just that's just the the natural beauty of all this is everything just feels absolutely the best it could be. It feels perfect. You know, I just I get along so well with my sisters and everybody as well. So, you know, Justin, I know some people that are listening to this are people that have been adopted and they haven't found their biological mother or father yet. And they're but they're looking in there. They might be nervous or, you know, not sure how it's going to turn out. What would you say to someone like that? Well, I'm really glad you asked me that because I do have a strong opinion on that sort of thing. I think anybody who is, who wants to find out where they come from, I know that if, if, you know, it might, it might be scary going into it because this, this is a world that you, you don't know anything about and, you know, it could go anyway, but I think ultimately I think it's best to go for it because honestly, you, you never know what could be in store. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Even, even if, you know, it doesn't work out. I mean, at the very least you'll have closure for that. You know, I mean, it's just it's I think it's such an important thing to know where you come from and to see, you know, your own blood. And, you know, people when you look at people, you see them in you, you know, and I think that's I think that's something that anybody who can experience should experience. And I think absolutely just give it a chance, do everything you can to just just at least meet them, you know, and if you meet them, if it doesn't work out, at least, you know, you know what I mean? Cause I mean, it's just that kind of closure is just so fulfilling either way. Right. So, I mean, if, if there's anybody out there who's, you know, wondering, I mean, please just absolutely go for you. If either way you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll feel full, you'll feel full circle either way. It's very important to just to, just to see that and experience that if you can, their family might be looking for them as well and want to connect. Yeah. And that's the thing. And that's the coin toss. It's like you, I mean, if they are, then, you know, you can have, you know, your families, you know, you know, now your family's huge, you know, even if you've already had a big family, you know, you gain more members. And, and it's, it's amazing to me to know that, you know, like they're going to be, you know, at my, at my wedding, when I get married, they're going to be at my college graduation, you know, they're going to be this and that. And it's my family and, you know, I'll always have them in my life, no matter what. And that is just, I mean, the definition of a blessing. it's amazing to just to know that but absolutely i mean just don't even if it's scary at least find out for yourself you'll you'll be glad you did either way all right well justin this is such an awesome story and i'm really really glad that you took the initiative and that you guys were able to connect and i think it's going to help a lot of people in hearing this too um i hope people that are adoptees and families that gave up their child for adoption knowing that there's a really you know, there's a possibility that you can connect and be a blessing to each other. For people that want to talk to you or want to contact you in some way, you gave me your email address. And so I'll put that in the show notes. So if somebody wants to send you an email, then they can do that. And once again, Justin, great story. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Absolutely, Scott. Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to get it out there because that's one of the biggest. I just, I want this story to be shared as much as possible because it means so much to me. And, you know, posting it here on different websites and seeing people's reactions, I just love to see how it moves people. And I just, I thank you for this opportunity to get it out there even further. I really do. This episode has always been one of my favorites. Justin is just so real and so happy to have found his birth mom. Unfortunately, I was not able to get in touch with Justin to get an update. Keep in mind, this episode was actually just episode number four for the podcast. It went live way back in August of 2018, around seven and a half years ago. The podcast was barely getting started back then. Hopefully, I've gotten better as a host, but I also hope that the podcast is still inspiring and amazing, and I'm glad that more and more people continue to discover it. Honestly, when I hear one of the older episodes, I always cringe a little bit because I hear things that I would do differently now. I would have phrased a question a different way or I would have edited something out or something else. But I've learned to be okay with all of that. I knew in the beginning I would not be perfect. I just had to get started and learn along the way. In podcasting, there's a saying. After 50 episodes, if you listen back to your first episode and you're completely happy with it, you waited too long to get started. I'm glad I didn't wait. And here we are today at episode 244, and I don't have any plans to stop anytime soon. If you're in the Facebook group, you probably saw that the Tuesday question this week was, what's a cooking hack that everyone should know? Do you have a trick or a shortcut that you use in your kitchen that you want to tell us about? We'd love to hear it. Come and join us at whatwasthatlike.com slash Facebook. Graphics for this episode were created by Bob Bretz. Full episode transcription was created by James Lye. And now for this week's listener story, and it's a crazy one. Do you have a story? Of course you do. Everyone does. We all have lots of stories. If you have something interesting that you can talk about that happened to you, something that you can tell in about 5 to 10 minutes, we want to hear it. Record it on your phone and email it to me, scott at whatwasthatlike.com. This story is from my friend Tim. Tim and I grew up together in Ohio, so we'd been best friends for our whole lives. He told me that this happened to him recently, and I asked him if he'd like to share it on the podcast. So buckle up, because it's not probably something you'd expect to hear about. Stay safe, and I'll see you back here in a week. I had an interesting thing happen to me one day. So I was in North Riddle Beach. I was going to perform my first wedding for my niece and her fiancé. and had recently lost some weight, not a ton of weight, but enough that my suit didn't fit very well. And I was concerned that it would be too tight. Instead, the pants were a little too loose, but had a belt and then thought it was good. So I went in, this was the day of the wedding. I went into the Hilton hotel and was sitting here for a while. And I think I was doing a video or something, I got up to go to the desk for some reason and lo and behold, my pants fell right down to my ankles. And it wasn't just revealing my underwear because I'd had some stomach issues and decided I should start. My wife had said to, you probably should wear a depends or a men's diaper or whatever you call it. And so I did. The bad part, of course, being that, you know, bad enough to lose your pants, worse yet to have everyone see that you're in a diaper. And I had a knee replacement a couple years ago and my legs are like, I'm 62 years old. My legs are like chicken legs now. I mean, I lost all muscle mass. So multiple ways in which it was kind of embarrassing, I guess. but at first when i saw him drop to the floor i just i was in shock i just kind of froze for just a second maybe or two and then i picked him up real fast of course and uh went up to the desk and said hey um i told him what happened and i said could i get somebody to drill a couple holes in my belt and they did and took care of it that was fine well the other thing that happened at the wedding was the night before my wife and i were going i had to do the um the rehearsal and uh the rehearsal of dinner afterwards. So I've been having some stomach issues and some issues of urgency to go. And even with, um, and, and also having to urinate, like powerfully have to urinate all of a sudden out of almost out of nowhere. So I'd used the restroom before we left for the hotel. It was about a half hour away. The time we got into the parking garage of the Hilton, it was too late. I had to go. I had to go like now. So we had a bottle with a lid on that you'd use, like, I don't know what you even call it, like at a, you'd use maybe at a hospital that's made to urinate in. So we have a brand new car that I just bought the day before. And I sat in the back seat and did my thing. As far as I know, no urine got anywhere, put the lid on it, and then zipped up and went inside. Well, unfortunately, I mean, I couldn't really, where am I going to dump it out? I'm in a Hilton. What am I going to do? Go out in the parking garage and dump urine now. So I left it there. Unfortunately, I forgot all about it. So days passed and it sat in the sun and we really weren't driving it too much. But one day, my wife and daughter got in the car. I don't think my daughter wanted to drive the car. She'd never been in before. It's a Honda Passport and she kind of went to check it out because she liked that model. She gets in expecting to smell leather and she wasn't smelling leather, let me tell you. So that urine had spilled out of the bottle. Fortunately, the floor in the back is like rubber. It's not carpet. And I'm very thankful for that. But anyhow, Lisa, my wonderful wife, cleaned it all up and so forth. But that was two issues at one wedding dealing with my elimination process. So, you know, now I look back and I can tell that when older people say they don't want to go anywhere, you think, why won't they go here? Why won't they go there? Let me tell you. I think I know. I think I know why.