Acceptance is power. What if the thing that you keep resisting is actually the key to your growth? For years, I did not understand the concept that thoughts are not facts, and I did not understand the concept that we all have negative emotions. And so I would go around having tons of negative emotions, feeling super anxious and super stressed. This was my early 20s. And I remember thinking all the time, I was like, like, if somebody knew what was in my head, I would not get a boyfriend. I'm never gonna get married. My friends would be like, you're a fucking crazy bitch. I remember thinking those things all the time. And then I remember I got married, you know, lucky him. And eventually one day I start talking to him and I'm like, I just don't want to tell you all the crazy thoughts I have in my head. He was like, why? And I was like, I mean, like, what if you think I'm crazy? And I remember that moment my husband was like, so what? That led me to this tool, which is the so what? I was like, oh, I like that. What do you mean? So what? He's like, so what? Still married you. Still cute. I don't think it'll change much. And I was just like, oh, wow. And it diffused so much of my emotion around the situation that all of a sudden I started spewing everything at him. I was like, I think this and this and this. And he was like, checks out. And then I was like, what if, what if I could do that for myself? And so now what I learned is that every time I have a thought that feels scary, feels big, feels gross, feels negative, then I had to say to myself, so what? So what? You got a fucked up thought. So what that you think that? You are a tiny speck on this giant universe and that thought will go away as fast as it came. So I want you to try this mental reframe. Think of active acceptance as a tool in your toolbox act of acceptance is just saying so what You like what if this happened and Then my boyfriend breaks up with me and then this happens and blah blah blah And so what Half of being stuck comes from resisting reality It comes from resisting your thoughts, resisting the negative feelings. So acceptance means carrying the circumstances, the feelings, the thoughts with you rather than fighting them. Now, what you will find is that this does not mean that you're giving up. It means that you move forward with reality, not against it. And this takes so much of the power out of a situation, a thought, or a feeling. Now, this is how you can actually put it into practice. Right now, I'm going to ask you this. What in your life right now is unfair? What is unfair? Maybe you have a bad boss or a really heavy workload with your job or bad customer review. Next to it, right? So what? I can carry this. Then ask yourself this. What is one productive action that you can take while being uncomfortable holding that thought or circumstance? Because here's the thing. The price of your dreams tomorrow is the discomfort of accepting it today. Which brings us to our final and most important truth. You need to audit your beliefs. There's a reason that we call them your beliefs, not facts, not the universal beliefs. We know that our beliefs shape our reality. And what's crazy is that our beliefs might be completely fucking wrong and crazy, right? We've identified this. One of the biggest beliefs that I've had to unlearn is that fear means something's dangerous. I used to have so many feelings of fear of anxiety and they would feel paralyzing almost like literally like sweaty hands I feel like my mouth is foaming not foaming but I losing like spit in my mouth Foaming would be tough That be a seizure You should go to the doctor if that happens to you But I would have you know no spit in my mouth Like I so nervous about something And I used to think when I was younger that that meant that that thing was dangerous and that finally, when I really understood that this was just a belief I had about any situation, I was really scared. It was because I had an irrational belief about that thing. You know, some people have an irrational fear of spiders and irrational fear of flying. The crazy thing is that more people will die in a car crash this year than they will in a plane crash. Yet people are way more scared of flying than they are of the car. I have had plenty of those things. And I think what I used to think is that fear equals bad. Then what I realized is that fear equals a rational belief that it is time to break. When you have unchecked beliefs, I'll never succeed. This thing is dangerous. This business is going to die. This guy is going to leave me. And then you let them silently dictate every action or inaction you take. That is when you get stuck. So if you're watching this video and you're thinking, I am stuck in some way, maybe you're stuck in a cycle of destructive beliefs. Because think about this, the only beliefs that we don't question are the ones that we don't even know our beliefs. We assume them as truths. And so what I'd like you to do is try a belief swap. You're going to identify your irrational beliefs and we're going to replace them with rational ones. What freaks you out? What makes you anxious? What pisses you off? What things provide you with the most highest irrational emotional reaction? Is it when your boyfriend you see a like of another girl on Instagram Does that make you really fucking pissed and you want to go like slash some tires Is it when you know a customer leaves you one bad review and all of a sudden you want to shut down your business because you think that your business sucks Irrational beliefs keep us stuck. Rational beliefs move us forward. If you can change your beliefs, you can change your life. So write down one irrational belief that you keep repeating. Maybe it's I'll never succeed. And then ask three questions. One, is this logical? Two, where is the proof in this actual world that this is a real belief. And lastly, does this belief help me? Maybe it is wackadoodle, but maybe it is true, but is it helpful? And does believing it make your life better or worse? Rewrite it as a rational belief you can actually live by. Now, what does that mean? I am not a proponent of, you know, I lost 100 pounds and I was not like, I am a Victoria's Secret model. I was like, no, I'm not. I still got a little chunk. But I said, you know what? No, I'm healthy and I work hard. I can achieve my dream body if I work hard enough for long enough. That's a rational belief to have versus I'm going to be the queen of England or I'm going to, you know, make it to the moon. I'm going to beat Elon Musk. It's like, all right, well, that's a tough stretch. Let's try and make it something that's believable, that when we say it, we feel empowered and we feel more confident. So those are rational beliefs. And here's the thing. Once you write down that rational belief, if you act on it, you will actually embed it and you will start to believe it over time. Trust me, the sooner that you accept these truths, the sooner you will be able to change your life. If you like this video, do not forget to subscribe to my channel and check out my next video. you
