Bad Friends

Bobby Falls in Love

88 min
Feb 9, 20264 months ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

Bobby Lee and friends discuss random topics including animal bite force, lottery winner statistics, novelty architecture, and various celebrity encounters. The episode features sponsored segments for Pepsi, Talkspace, Avocado Green Mattress, Rocket Money, Hims, Factor, and Shopify while maintaining the show's comedic banter throughout.

Insights
  • Lottery winners often experience worse mental health outcomes than people facing severe adversity like paralysis, due to relationship changes and poor financial management
  • Novelty architecture and unique design are disappearing from American cities due to consumer preference for new-looking but cheaply-built developments
  • Car color diversity has dramatically declined from the 1970s when vibrant colors dominated sales, now dominated by white, black, and gray due to volume-focused manufacturing
  • The entertainment industry's informal network and nepotism remain significant barriers for outsiders without family connections
Trends
Mental health awareness and therapy adoption increasing among comedians and public figuresStandardization of urban architecture reducing regional character and cultural distinctivenessShift from colorful consumer products to neutral palettes driven by manufacturing efficiency over aestheticsOnline therapy platforms gaining mainstream acceptance as accessible mental health solutionsNostalgia for 1970s-80s comedy specials and entertainment formats among younger audiencesCelebrity culture and parasocial relationships through social media DMs replacing traditional contact methods
Topics
Animal Bite Force ComparisonLottery Winner Financial DistressMental Health and DepressionNovelty Architecture in AmericaCar Color Trends and ManufacturingEntertainment Industry NepotismOnline Therapy and Mental WellnessStand-up Comedy EvolutionCelebrity Encounters and NetworkingUrban Development and City DesignExtreme Sports and Risk-TakingTelevision Show ProductionPepsi vs Coca-Cola Taste TestChicago Crime and Urban SafetyTattoo Culture and Regret
Companies
Netflix
Discussed as platform for extreme sports content and original series like 'Shrinking' with Chris Watowski
Panda Express
Original sit-down restaurant 'Panda N' in Pasadena discussed as superior to chain locations
McDonald's
First location in San Bernardino mentioned as historical reference point for fast food chains
Burton
Snowboard company mentioned in context of Sean White jumping over people in Central Park
Five Guys
Original location in Arlington, Virginia discussed; hidden bar upstairs mentioned in NYC location
People
Alex Honnold
Free climber discussed for climbing El Capitan in Singapore without safety equipment for Netflix
Sean White
Professional snowboarder who jumped over Gillis and O'Connor in Central Park on a snowboard
Michael J. Fox
Referenced for his Parkinson's disease and Instagram handle 'Shaky Soul Train' joke
Christopher Reeve
Discussed regarding horse accident that led to paralysis and potential resentment toward horses
Robin Wright
Actress discussed for her roles in Princess Bride, Forrest Gump, and Wonder Woman
Sarah Jessica Parker
Actress from 'Sex and the City' who appeared on the guest's talk show
Barack Obama
Former president who appeared on the guest's talk show; discussed as appearing depressed
Jay Leno
Late-night host and car enthusiast who lives near the studio and has had multiple accidents
Conan O'Brien
Late-night host praised for silly, sloppy fun approach to comedy television
Adam Driver
Actor from San Diego mentioned as someone who hasn't called the guest to collaborate
Cameron Diaz
Actress from Long Beach/San Diego area discussed for her film career
Ted Danson
Actor from San Diego mentioned as famous person from the region
Nick Cannon
Entertainer from San Diego referenced in comedy bit about babysitting
G Herbo
Rapper who appeared on the guest's talk show; discussed as growing up in South Chicago
Steve Harvey
Comedian referenced for his Titanic bit from Kings of Comedy special
Quotes
"People that are in a car accident and paralyzed from the neck down are happier than lottery winners"
Bobby LeeLottery discussion segment
"70% of lottery winners go broke or face severe financial distress within a few years"
Guest (citing statistic)Lottery statistics discussion
"We're going backwards because what happens is people want stuff that looks nice and new, but it's actually just cheaper and poorly built"
Guest discussing architectureNovelty architecture segment
"The highest colors of cars that sell are like white, black and gray. And so they're like, fuck it. We won't make any other colors"
Guest on car color trendsCar color discussion
"I don't have any connections in show business. You're gonna fail, you're an idiot"
Adam Friedland recounting parents' adviceEntertainment industry discussion
Full Transcript
You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Woo! My dude, an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Woo! Are you two or something? We're bad friends. Oh, this is spring water. Yeah. It's a beautiful spring water. What's the difference between regular water and spring water? Flastic. That's the difference, isn't it? Oh, I'm sorry. It's a season thing. You've never had winter water. You've never had some winter water? No. Well, it's a winter wonderland now. Fall water, any of the seasons. Spring is the only season I've drink. Which season do you like the most? Water-wise. Summer. Summer water. Summer water. Summer water. Happy summer blast. Yeah. Summer love is on the rise. I'm telling you, dude, you're getting so tuned up for this summer. Your body's going to be good. Your brain's going to be good. No. I think you're going to get some summer love this summer. Oral good disease. Which one? The shaky one. Parkinson's. No. No. That's not the shaky one. No, there's other shaky ones. What's the other shaky one? There isn't anymore. Parkinson's is the only one. I feel like that's the main shaky one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shaking tremors. Give us, pull up shaky diseases. They're right here. Multiple sclerosis. Multiple sclerosis. Man, say that five times. They can't. You know what I want to do? I want to get a shaky disease and have a time of shame and go down to the 70s and go do our salt drain. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I'll do salt change. I've always wanted to do the line with the shaky disease. Yeah. isolation cheering cheering Shaky soul train. Shaky soul train. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do Bob. No, that's not what I was saying. I love him. Michael J. I'm a big fan of him. He's the man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His Instagram handle is Shaky Soul Train. Oddly enough. He's the man. He jokes about it all the time, which is so you have to. Yeah. That's the other way. At some point, it sucks. It sucks. It sucks. And then you got a joke about it. Do you think Christopher Reeves resent resentful toward horses? Oh, he hated him. Yeah, after that, I mean, that could I got hurt by that turn. I'm in the glow. If you got hurt by an animal, you hate it for life. Although that might not be true. I got bit by my buddy's dog. My buddy, Adam's dog when I was a kid. Yeah, I still love dogs. Yeah, I deserve the bite. Oh, I came in the backsliding door stone at night trying to sneak in. To be quiet to not wake up his mom, dog bit me. My fault. I know, girl, I'm Jenny. She has a big pit bump scar on her face. Right? And then I go, can you dog sit? I asked her. I said, no. Why are you, Jenny? Yeah, because they're little though. My dogs are little. You don't have big scary dogs. They'll bite your ankle. Well, that's not true. Yeah, Julio. Julio is a nightmare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll bite your neck. He will kill you. Julio has that like, yeah. But then you go, come on, come on, Julio. And then Julio will calm down. But if Julio senses something's up, attack mode, attack mode, you think Wolverines and honey badgers get along? They're so similar. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I wonder who would win in a fight. That's such a good question. Who would win a honey badger or a Wolverine? Yeah. No, who would win though you think? It says they do not get along. They hate each other. They're highly territorial. I would say so. I think a honey badger, aren't they crazy? Yeah. They didn't create it. I mean, the X-Men should have had, you know what I mean? Honey badger. Honey badger. Because honey doesn't sound threatening. I think that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Wolverine sounds good, but like honey badger. Yeah. Wolverine would most likely win according to AI overview, due to it's significantly larger size greater strength. That's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Size and strength. Yeah. Offensive power. What about Tasmanian devil with his out of mix? Oh, yeah. They got a, they're small. Oh, yeah. Another small. But they're crazy. They're not going to make is insane. Have you ever heard it? Yes. Oh, it's insane. It's insane. And wait, you know why they'll win? Let me see if I can do it. I'm hungry. As Manian Bobby. Yeah. He'd do one. Do it again. Wolverine. Yeah. It's not, that's, you know the lore of the truth? Why they're called Tasmanian devils? When people first came to that area, they were, they, they, they live in the woods at night. They heard that sound. Yeah. They thought it was the devil. The devil. That is very true. Also, these things are crazy blind. They can't see shit. Yes, they said, but their jaw, look at the jaw strength of a Tasmanian devil. Look it up. Look it. They can bite through. I want to know how many pounds per square inch or something. That's, that's what my new come noise, by the way. Yeah. Tasmanian devils have an exceptionally powerful bite for their size. They cited around 500 to 1200 pounds per square inch. What's the average human bite? What's a human bite? Humans bite force is 150 pounds per square inch. Wow. The Tasmanian devil is, it's 10 times us. It's, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. What is that? Alligators is 3700 pounds per square inch. Wow. That's why all those idiots in Florida are like, they love, they love the threat. Yeah. They're aggressive. They're aggressive. They're, they're gigantic mouths. You know, and they, um, they're very terrible, not only can they protect their babies. If you, if you see a hippo baby run, because they'll kill you. The mother will kill you. Yeah, they'll just kill you. Yeah, yeah. What's the father doing? Is he, is he MIA? Yeah, he left. Go ahead. No, you go ahead. No, you go ahead. You go ahead. You go ahead. I don't want it. Yeah, I don't want it either. I'll be back getting the bread. I'm going to get bread. I'm going to get bread. I'll be back. Never comes back. No, we're coming back. Yeah, yeah. Well, they can swallow. You see them bite through stuff as nuts. Yeah. You ever seen them bite through like a watermelon? Oh, shit. Yeah, they can crack right through it. Fancy. Fancy. Why do you say water? Because I always see videos of hippos and watermelons out of all the vegetables. Does he pumpkin? I always see videos. Yes, they pumpkin. No, no, no, no. There's always videos of hippos with watermelon. You see that? Yeah. And fried chicken. I knew it. I was waiting for it, dude. I was waiting for it. Look at that. Oh, yeah. It is watermelon. Whoa. That thing. Wow. Have you ever seen him feed him a carton of new ports? He'll do that. He'll do that. He'll go right through it. It's crazy. So what? Also, hippos, there is a pink residue that comes out of their skin. I don't know this. Do you know this? No. Yeah, there's a pink residue. Oh, yeah. That's it for a pink residue. There's a pink residue. No way. I'm looking for the joke in my mind. There is no joke. There is a pink residue. Is there not a residue? Oh, he's right. He's right. Hipposacreta thick oily reddish substance called blood sweat. Blood sweat. Not crisp sweat, blood sweat. It's sunscreen SPF. Wow. Blood sweat. Yeah. That's where it comes from. Blood sweat and tears. Tears. Yeah, I wonder what it is. Wow. While they secrete, it's a red substance. They do. It protects their sun, skin from sun and bacteria. Yeah. I thought about that. I don't know why I know that. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. Out of all the things. I love it. I just know that. Well, I looked at my dog today. We took a dog on a walk today and I thought, how weird that we're of all the species, like we're the ones that want to walk upright, that figured out walking upright was the move. Isn't that crazy that we were like, fuck this off? Or is this crazy? Yeah. I'm up here. I'm getting up. Well, how did we get up? I have no idea. Like, something must have taught us to get up. God. Excuse me? God. Don't bring your Spanish fucking foodoo to this room. Humans walking upright because they offer key survival advantages. I know, but why did we, what other animals can get upright? They do. No, I mean, banana. Go on. No, look, look, look. What I'm saying is. They're up in the trees. Ooh, banana. Right. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Food is up high. Food is up high. That's why I say, it's food. Food's up there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. High food. Yeah. Is it right or not? Oh, yeah. You come up with one. Brother, I love it. No, no, no, no, no. What do you mean you love it? It's an you come up with one man. No, it's because we're up to it. Why do you think? Vantage point. Attack. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Me big. Yeah, me big. You're small. Yeah, you're small. What happened to it? Why did we stop climbing the trees though? Probably hurts. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, we've evolved. You know what I mean? You would think that we still. Probably Alex Honeel does it. Honeel does it. Yeah. Did you see that? Yeah. Tell me about it. Pist me off. Why does it piss you off? I just, yeah. Why is he doing that? I'm saying. It's crazy. Yeah. I mean, Kudos. The guy's amazing. But you're like, what is this? Well, I'll capy-ton is scarier though. No, he said this was fucking weird. But I'll tell you why. Because I saw it. Did you see it? I watched. Yeah. There are places where he would fall. Where, you know, because once he gets to a certain section, he's climbing again. And he could have fell down to like the next level. I know. You know what I mean? Is L Capitan, once you fall, you're dead. There's nothing saving you. This was a great PR stunt for Netflix. I mean, 100%. And by the way, get paid. Good for him. Yeah. That second of his wife like waving out the window was the weirdest. What do you think of that relationship? I mean, it seems weird. I think it seems like it's going up. Yeah. I don't know. It's strange because she, they talked about it. Is this the same girl from the documentary? Yes. Where he says he's going to leave her. Yeah. I'm either going to climb. You either stick around and I'm climbing or you can kick fucking rocks. Yeah. And she was like, I'll stay. Yeah. I mean, they must genuinely love each other. Yeah, maybe. They have two kids now. They do? Yeah. Where are they? Up at the top of that building. There are at the one center or whatever and in Chechron. I wouldn't be able to watch as if I was a kid. Like if your dad was doing that, would you be able to watch? No, it's crazy. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. By the way, this was in China, right? It was in Beijing. Singapore. Oh, Singapore. Was it Singapore? Yeah. Great audience Asians though. Oh, every second. Oh, no. Everything blows there. On the floors and the cameras on. They were. They were. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy, it was cool to see but like, you know, you knew he was going to do it. Yeah. I kind of wanted to see him slip a little bit. And there's also a delay. You know, there's a delay. Oh, yeah, they. There's no way. No. If he fell, there's no way. They'd show it. Well, because how quick can you snap a camera away? Yeah. Because they're punched in. And the guys that were doing the cameras on the ropes, that was crazy too. Yeah. Because they had to do, you know, I'd be a drone. Give me the drone. I'll fly that next to the guy. Like if my partner wanted to do that, I would just be like, yeah, I'm not going to be there. Okay, but okay, let's make it more real. What if your partner was like, I love deep sea fishing and I love deep sea diving. Okay. And I like swimming down with sharks. Colleila. She did that the whole relationship. You're with her. And guess what? I'm at home. I'm not watching that. Yeah, I'm just. That's true. Yeah, yeah. But you said good luck. But you'd let you know, you let them do it. You're just not going to go. Well, I did a couple of times with them. Those kind of activity. But that's completely different than though, I think. It's just his life threatening because he's an expert at this. The chances of him falling are less likely than one of the girls getting bit in the ocean. You think so. 100%. I, you guys don't agree with that? Think about this. Think for a second. This guy is a, is a flawless professional. Right? He was never going to fall. That's why they did it. Those girls getting the water. They have an element that they can't control. He controls this all this. They have animals that are, you're at their whim. Yeah. They could just attack you for no reason. This guy, he was never going to fall. There was no fucking way. But they did change the day because it was raining. Well, yeah, because you'd slip. I mean, that's, that's man up. Yeah. Do it on the rain. Do it on the rain. Pussy. Pussy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you doing clonato? The rain. Let's see. Let's see if you can do it during the 20. Get real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This guy's the man though. He is, he is just one of the greatest athletes of human history. Did you see, speaking of great athletes, did you see Sean White jumping over Gillis and O'Connor in Central Park? No. Sean, during the snow closing in New York. Sean White literally jumped over Gillis and O'Connor. Like, look at this. You just like Ollie's over them in the, it's in Central Park, right? Is that where it was? Yeah, on TMZ. How sick is that? Wow. They're just chilling, drinking Bud lights and, and he's Ollie hopping over these guys on a snow. Wow. I'd love to get hit in the head by that snowboard. Yeah. Get paid, huh? Get a check from Burton. Wow, wow, wow. How cool is that? Yeah. Can we even say it or no? See what? How about you doing tires? Oh, yeah, I'm doing a couple of episodes of tires. Why? Huge. No, I'm saying is it. I don't know if you're not. Then we talked about it, where we did the whole script thing, you know what I mean? I think that did it. We got you that role. Oh, on the episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many hours do you do? I'm doing two, yeah. Awesome. What's your character's name? I don't know. What did you want it to be? I think you should bring that to the table. I'd love to do that. I think you should just tell them what you want to play. Yeah. I'm a scene. Does it matter? Your name? Yeah, yeah. I just don't like all that every time I played something, it's always like a boring, non-creative name. I'm always Ken for some reason. I mean, we know the reason. Yeah, or what I've played, I've played Jenna a couple of times. Ken, Jen. Yeah, what else have I played? Dude, I finished all a birch show, by the way. You saw it? The whole thing? It's awesome. It's on Netflix. Wow, yeah, I know it. It's such an easy watch. Is it? Yeah, it's great. Chris Watowski. Watowski? Chris Watowski, yeah. Am I saying it right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. It's so funny. Yeah, he's great. Great guy. He kills it. Chicago. Yeah. Great dude. It's a funny show, man. You know what's so funny about Chicago guys? You should Chicago guys help each other. Well, we like each other. And you guys always help each other. San Diego guys don't do that. No. No, it's because there's not a lot. Well, there's a lot of fun. I can see a lot of Chicago guys. They're like, hey, you know what I mean? I'll use that guy. There's some good, well, there's a lot from Chicago. I think that's what it is. Acting and comedy. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? San Diego has a lot of famous people. Has Adam Driver never called you? Bobby, I want you to do something with me. How do you feel about good soup? Nick Cannon is from San Diego? Yeah, yeah. Dude, Ted Danson. Yeah, I need you to babysit from me, Bob. Guess I'm the kids. Was that Nick Cannon? Yeah. And yo, I need you to babysit from Bob. For me, Bob. Yeah. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. That's a pretty good list, yeah. Cameron Diaz, we skipped over. I thought she was from Long Beach. She is, yeah. I thought she was born in San Diego, but went to school. Robin Wright. Penn. Yeah, with the La Huayasco. Is it not, oh, they got the divorce? Yeah. He was so good in that movie, they got it the divorce, huh? Yeah. You know, I had dinner with her one time. Robin Wright. Yeah. I was in Michigan. Yeah. I had a couple of scenes in a movie. And the producer of the movie was dating her. Whoa. So I had to produce like, I have dinner, you know what I mean? So I show up and she was at the dinner. Was he a good looking guy, the producer? Pretty good looking, yeah, yeah. Because sometimes you meet these producers that date as actresses and you're like, I don't know. Well, he was long face like Sean. I think she likes long face. He likes long face? Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, just show, like a president, like an old president. Oh, yes. So you wouldn't be her type. No. You're a long face. Yeah, I'm a long face, yeah. But what I remember about her is be her being very funny. I mean, she's so smart and cool. Yeah, she was very funny. What's your favorite role at hers? Jesus Christ. You should have done play that. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. He is. I mean, obviously, the first time I noticed her was Princess Bride. Yeah, it was really, really good. Yeah. And then Jennie. Yeah, Forest Gump is probably the most iconic. Iconic. But she was good and Wonder Woman. I wish she was fun in that. Yeah, buffed out. Yeah. She's just a super beautiful though. Yeah, she's pretty stunning. Stunning, right? Yeah. You think her or who would you share in the stone or her, you think? Her for sure. But Sharon's stone or her prime though. Oh my God. No, she's, she's a wholesome, just beautiful. Yeah, look at it. Wow, what a beautiful girl. Gold, she's my gorgeous. It's very talented, too. Absolutely lovely. Hey, Blanchett's, I think the same thing. Not my style, but yeah. Yeah, but just beautiful. Wholesome white. Yeah. What is it? On dresser sent me something. Some sort of meme. No, I just, this guy won the lottery. And so, so surprised and he found love today. $181 million dollar lottery winner falls in love. Yeah. And the lottery winner is the woman, yeah? Because she, that's, she won the lottery with that guy. Just by chance. Two days after. Tell me this guy's British, 100%, right? Yeah. Is he not British? No, it's American. Where? North Carolina. I find myself a beauty girl, dude. White to UC, my, my, my, to UC, the girl that I got. She won't, nothing from me. Is that incredible, though? She's poisoning him. This is basically what happened. Life changed. Yeah. Life over, life over. You think it's over? The lottery's the worst thing they say statistically. Like these people end up killing themselves, going broke. You want to hear statistic? Same thing. Love statistics. Bobby statistics will be my thing. You know what? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Right. People that are, um, that are in a car accident and paralyzed from the neck down are, get, are happier than lottery winners. No, you made that up. I mean, that sounds really why. Why? Can I tell you why? So when you win the lottery, right? You, your friends and family, they change. Right. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Right? Also, you don't know how to manage money, so you lose them money quickly. Right. Right. You start buying house and cars for your friends and all that stuff. And the pain, it becomes more painful in your life. Yeah. Well, you win the lottery. More burdened for your... More burdened, more pain, you know what I mean? And, um, somebody that's been in the car accident paralyzed from the neck down, right? When they can taste orange juice for the first time, there's super joy there. When they can move a pinky, right? Like every day, you know, something, some new thing happens, right? They, they, you get more joy and there's more, you know, I mean, the small things matter. Small things. And then you realize who your true friends are and loved ones when you're, you know, car accident. Yeah. And so, um, they say that you, you're happier. I agree. I mean, you see the history of all these people that win the lottery is awful. That's awful. Yeah. They lose it quickly. The guy, what was the dude? Was there a guy that just killed himself that won that won the lottery not too long ago? Like he just... Do you guys think that this guy's gonna lose the law if he loses the money? Yes. Yes. That's mental health struggles. Very big. The curse, the curse, the lottery. Uh, 70% of lottery winners go broke or face severe financial distress within a few years. That was kind of like, do you remember the show? Um, what was it? Move that bus, you know, that fucking show. Extreme makeover. They would give these people these mansions. People that made like 30 grand a year, they give them a fucking mansion. They couldn't pay the taxes on it. They'd go broke. Then they'd be in worse financial debt than they were before they got the house. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's a, so they got sued, right? Didn't they get sued and then they settled and then at some point the show had to continue on the air. So what happened was then the network started paying for the taxes or the whatever. So these people wouldn't drown. Right. Wow. It's interesting. It's a bad, it's a bad game. A lot of cases. Hey guys, do you know where sponsored by Pepsi? Bob, did you see that Pepsi did another Pepsi challenge? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, people still do that. Yes, they do still do that. And 66% of people chose Pepsi Zero Sugar over Coca-Cola Zero Sugar. Oh, that's not even close, dude. I know. 66% of people over what percentage of people chose Coca-Cola Zero? 44%. 34. I guess Pepsi doesn't make you a good ad man. Right on man. Good man. That is very true. That's right on the number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect. All right, let's take the challenge and see. There we go. Okay, I'm going to take a straw in the A and then the B. Ready? And I'm going to try B first. Now you go backwards. You always go backwards. I go backwards because I just want to try A first. And then I try B. Okay, don't say anything. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, what yours? I'm the count of three. We'll say. All right. Close your eyes. Do it again. Yeah, I got to do it one more time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Got it. I got it on the count of three. That's what I call it. In my mind is also, you know, I'm parched. I'm in the Sarah Desert, right? I'm dreaming of a Cola beverage. We're in a studio in Burbank. No, in my mind. Oh, yeah. Like what would I write? Okay. I'm parched. Yeah, I mean, the Sarah Desert, right? And I'm trying to find a liquor store or something or store or a convenience store so I can get a beverage. Yeah. I see one in the desert, right? And I would have it's a mirage. It could be a mirage. And I only have one opportunity to buy one beverage. We're here. One would I pick? What you're gonna say? I'm gonna say. One, two, three, A. No, let me see. Let me see. Oh my God. Pepsi did. No. What's yours? I picked Pepsi. Yep. Wow. Got me. If I had an option based on the test, I'm going with the rising star. Because you're a rising star. I'm a rising star. Am I? Yep. I am? Yeah, because you chose the 66%. But my star's a little bloated. So as long as I keep drinking Pepsi Zero sugar, it might be a shooting star at some point. If you want to use that analogy. Fuck, I did. But you also think of it this way too. I'm an alien. I'm visiting her. I'll second that. Oh my God. What city am I in? Los Angeles. Hi. Hi. I heard about cola beverages. Can you give me their phenomenal? Are they? Yes. The one that's the best up and rising one. Let me tell you something, alien. Yes. I can get you the Pepsi challenge. So you can decide for yourself. Get up, mountain mountain mountain mountain. Is this is right here? That's it. Wow. That's the Pepsi challenge right there. Are you an alien or a robot? I am a combination of a cyborg and human parts as well. You know what I should. I've never questioned you. I'm sorry. So, bionatrix. Are you made of bionatrix? Yes. Wonderful. All right. Why don't you take the Pepsi challenge? What's your name, sir? What's your name? Alongo. Alongo. Alongo. What do you think? I love it. Take a sip. Okay. Here we go. Mmm. Me na pop, baby na na pop, pop, pop. That's not going to short circuit your insides? That's me short circling. Okay. We'll drink up before you die. Before your system crashes. Bump bump bump bump bump. Did you like that one more? That one is better. Which one? Which one? What's what? What? Alongo. Alongo likes what better? Pepsi. You heard it here first. Alongo likes Pepsi more. Pepsi. Pepsi zero sugar. Pepsi. Alongo likes Pepsi zero sugar more than Coca-Cola zero sugar. Bump bump bump bump. Go out and try Pepsi zero sugar today. Let your taste decide. Me na gama o mamo Pepsi na. The lottery is rose statistic. I'll give you statistic. Yeah. Smoking a pack of cigarettes is the health equivalent to having unprotected sex with five prostitutes. It is? No, I made it up. Oh, fuck. But it sounded real. It sounded pretty real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, true or false. Let's see if you can get it. But you know, here, I'll give you one. Yeah, go with one, right? Yeah. It's better to just be a cigarette smoker. For COVID. True. It is. It was. Yeah, it turned out. It is. Smokers had better. You know that? Better lung capacity. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, better propensity to like fix themselves. No, you know. All right. I'm not Google it. I don't like that you're smuggled. Yeah, Google it. It's true. Because I look down when I Google things that are the joke. No, it's not. It's true. Google it. No. No, people that spoke. Extensive Richards, authorities like World Health Organization confirmed smoking increases the risk of severe illness hospitalization of death from COVID-19. In fact, oh, I made it up. Yeah. I tell you, you sold me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought it. Can I give you a statistic? Is it real? Fall of Faye. You tell me if it's true or fake. Okay, go ahead. All right. 78% of people that got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine drove Dodge chargers. 78% of people that got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's false. I think it's false. I don't know anybody that brought it. It's 87. It's 87. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's a good one. That went for McCone. McCone. Welcome back. McCone. He's back. Give it up for McCone. He got stuck in New York City. How was New York? You pig. It was great. It was very fun. It was nice hanging out with you. Yeah. Yeah. We took the boy. Yes, G. We took the boy to Madison Square Garden had a fun little time there. Then we went to what we thought was a gay bar. But it was just gay night. Yeah. Yeah. It was all women. We went downstairs and it was all women. Wow. And then it took five seconds for the intelligent people to go, oh, it's a gay bar. And these fucking dorks, him and his buddy were like, it's a lot of babes here, man. They're like great ratio. And they were all big. I was like, great ratio. These women don't like penises. Oh, wow, wow, wow. You can tell because a girl came out to me and dapped me up right away. She literally goes, yo, fucking love your show, dog. And I was like, yeah, thank you. Wow, wow, wow, wow. By the way, big and the lesbian community. That's huge, bad friends. We love that. Really? Yeah, fuck yeah. We had a lot of fans there. It was great. Yeah. That made me feel good. That's amazing. All right. Sorry. Sorry for sharing. It was really good. I like it. You go to a gay bar. You're not as a gay bar. You know, Bobby, you're back. Where have you been? You bad boy. I just got tuned out for a second. It was so weird. Yeah, where are you going? I could have had a kid with a statistic, but then it's like it was too late to say it because we had transitioned on to something else. And then it just got stuck on it. But it's like, I'm not even going to say it. But I'm just saying, come on, give it to me. Give it to me. It's stupid. They're all stupid. It's so fucking dumb. I don't know why for like a minute. I got hung up on it. You know what I mean? You know those people that are in China where they can walk like it looks like they're where they can walk above the ground like they're floating when they do their dancing. Yeah. Do you know that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. have bone marrow. Did you know that? No, be real. So sad. This is a hundred percent. What do you mean this? What do you mean this? That's not a good one. I know, but that's why. But that's why for a minute, I was thinking about it, right? For a minute, it was it. I know it wasn't. For some reason, I couldn't get my mind. I got stuck in it. You know what I mean? Why? And my mind, I was like, this is not a good one because you're making it up obviously. You know what I mean? And then I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Bone marrow. Exactly. It wasn't even good. That's why I even said, I don't even say anything. No, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just did. I know. But you didn't have to call me out. Well, it was just so. Yeah, you did this. What did you do this? I didn't like it. I know I can either. I didn't want to say it. It's terrible. The meal was bad. It was bad. I don't want to eat that. I just like a kid. Get that. What is that? This is the most condescending bullshit I've ever seen. Yeah, like it. Right? Oh my god, I hate that. Like spitting in someone's face. I didn't spit on you. That's missing a little is. Spit your face. Yeah, yeah. God, that's the word. Wipe it away. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I was a much. We were snowed in, but I went to the, I went to the, the Met. That was very fun. Hmm. Great museum. Yeah. You went by yourself? No, I was staying with my friends Jackson and Abby. Oh, who are they? Anyway, um. Who gives a fuck? I didn't. Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down. Get the fuck out. Shut it down. Yeah. That's great. No, that is nice. Did you thought the mat? Yeah, that's great. You don't even want to know. What is the beautiful artwork? Did you have a slice of new yo pizza? We went to a bar together above, above five guys. That was actually wild. You walk into five guys like you're going to order and there's a fucking bouncer by the friar. Yeah. And you hand him your idea and there's a bar upstairs. No. Yeah, it was kind of cool. Hey, five guys. Yeah, and you could take a inside inside and you could take some peanuts to go upstairs and everything. Wow. It was kind of a cool little bar. It was like a nice little nook tucked away. Five guys in the village. Wow. Is that the original five guys? No, the original is four guys and that's up the street. They just said the one up on the street. Hey dude. Got you. Got you. Got you. That was bad. That was your bone marrow. That was my bone marrow. That was your bone marrow. Four guys. No, the original five guys I think is in DC. Am I wrong? I believe so. I think my buddy Tyler took me to the original five guys in Arlington or wherever it is. Arlington, Virginia. There it is. Yeah. I think I went to that one with him. Now is the original like the original panda or the original whatever is it better than the the chain of it? I mean, I'm sure the locals would say yes, right? Because they grew up. If you had the first, you're always going to be like, we did it. It's like the band. You're like, I knew that band before that band. That album wasn't as good as the first one that I heard. Because the original panda expressed their actual restaurant restaurant apparently is very good. It's in Pasadena, California. What's that called? Panda N. Panda N, right? It's right there. Zoom in, bud. The original concept for Panda Express started with Panda N, sit down restaurant, open my Andrew and Peggy Churring, Churring in Pasadena 1973 and Foothill Boulevard. It burned down during the fires. However, somehow the Chowmaine did survive. That stuff is just not flammable. Chowmaine is so strong. So strong. There's the original, that's Panda Express. The original Panda N. I hate Panda Express. It's good in a bind, but I want to try Panda N. Let's go. I'd love to go. Is it still open? Is there an original McDonald's? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's here in California. Yeah, this is open. Let's go to it. We should try Panda N. The first McDonald's is in San Bernardino. Are you being real? Yes. And it's still there. I do not know if it's still there. I think it's a museum now. And then the first chain, of course, was in Illinois. That's where our boy Ray Crock stole the idea, took it, and we went there on a field trip as kids. Yeah. You know what I'm obsessed with? Novelty Architecture. Love novelty architecture. You know what novelty architecture is? What is it, McCone? Architecture that's kind of silly right of the ordinary. It's for the fun of it and the love of it. It's not fun. Like Randy's donuts is one. Look at that. That's so funny. They had Eidela or that bar in North Hollywood. I've been to that bar. Is that? It's a bar on Lankersham. Oh, are those barrels? Yeah. I love it. And you go sit in the barrels. Wow. But then when beer starts filling up in there, it gets scary. I mean, that's a different one. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There it is. Yeah. Whoa. But you know, it's like, you know how some like you go to cities all over the country now. And they all look the same. Oh, yeah. Why can't we like, you know, express ourselves in different ways. Architecture-wise, I mean, in terms of, is that money? No, we're going, no, the problem is we're going backwards because what happens is people want stuff that looks nice and new. But in fact, it actually is just cheaper and poorly built. But they like the idea because, be, okay, like the, all these fucking apartment complexes going up. Yeah. They all look the same. Yeah. Because people want new, right? So if they say, I can't afford a fucking house, but I want a nice apartment. I want something nice and new. I want a new build. I want no one to live in it. But the problem is they throw these things up. They, they, they do it with the cheapest materials possible. And they built them so shanty like, but people want the image of nice and new from the outside. Yeah. That's why the whole city of fucking LA looks like that. Yes, fake luxury. It's a bummer and it's taking over. And if you look at like the colors of cars that we have today versus in the 70s, it's like, what happened to those fun colors? Well, here's the problem now. Yeah. As a car guy, it's paint a sample now because they don't sell as well. And they're, a car company's main goal is to sell as men. It's volume at the highest level. It's just sell a billion fucking cars. They don't give a fuck. They're made of plastic. Get rid of it. That's why leasing started. They were like, here, we'll get it back and then we'll just sell it at a huge discount. That's because the highest colors of cars that sell are like white, black and gray. And so they're like, fuck it. We won't make any other colors. God, it's made our society and our culture look like land. It sucks. All of it. So now you have to paint the sample. You want a special color. You have to order a color of a car. It costs more money. Like 1970, the top selling cars were avocado green, harvest yellow, earthy brown, burnt orange. Wow. Beautiful. Beautiful. Fun. I fuck with the burnt orange. That's such a sexy color in our car. Yeah. And what's today now? Is that today? White is 38. Black is 19. Gray is 15. Those are the highest that I said. Silver and blue are nine and seven. Red is five. It doesn't even happen anymore unless it's Ferrari. Wow. Wow. It's incredible. What happened? Yellow is the fucking yellow stinks. Yeah, yellow is weird. Yellow on a car is not it. It's hard. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't do it for me. Midnight purple would be fun. Ooh. Hello. Is that the nickname for your penis? Yeah. Midnight purple to gay. Hey, dude. Midnight purple. What's the opposite of this? That's it, dude. What's the color of your car? What is that color called? It's like, that's why I like it. It's like a soft baby blue. Yeah, yeah. Not a hard baby blue. It's like that. Yeah. It's exactly right. It's like a cardan. It's like, yeah, it's like this. Well, kind of, I guess, right? A little lighter than that. A little lighter than that. A little lighter than that. The kid goes right to Texas stuff. Yeah. That's what I see when I see his car. When are you going to move to Texas? The rumor is you're moving to Texas. No. Everyone on the street is talking about it. No, I'm not leaving LA. Everybody says, do you know this? People on the round LA are saying he's going back. He's going to Austin. Oh, no. He keeps going there. He's looking for a place to live. I already have a place to live. Oh, oh, it's big idea. You have a, you own a place in Austin? My sister and I do. Oh, really? Yeah. Where is it? South Congress. It's like, yeah, by one of those boot shops. No, it's actually like by like a Verizon store. It's like a random neighborhood. You know that on South Congress? That was the funniest neighborhood back in the day. He's still love going down there. And now it's a Lulu lemon and a fucking soul cycle and a, right? It's a house. So house and earth bar. It's just, it's here. It's California now. I like that strip in Austin where they have that pizza place. What's it called? Well, by right across the street from the boot. We went. I know it's so good. Is it fucking cool? I don't know. I love that place. Why can't I think of the name? Homeless. Homeless. Yeah, that place is fucking great. Yeah, that's a fun place. Yeah, it's a fun place. It's a good slice of pizza. Talkspace. You know, I do therapy every week. Same. And talkspace is saved my life because, you know, you need to release the demons. You got a release, man. And, you know, I had a lot of trauma growing up and, you know, using EMDR and other methods through talkspace has really relieved and taken some of the burden off my shoulders. A lot of it, actually. That's because talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere. Talkspace helps you build confidence and skills. There are therapists not only listen to you, they provide valuable techniques to manage stress or conflicting your life, helping improve your coping skills and self-awareness. Let's be honest. Okay. It's always nice to talk to somebody. All jokes aside, there's a comedy show, but we all like to talk stuff out and talkspace makes it easier. And they make getting the help you need, easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a zero dollar copay. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with talkspace. When you go to talkspace.com slash bad friends and enter promo code space 80. Avocado green mattress. I was excited to tell you about our sponsor, Avocado Green Mattress. They're certified organic mattresses, pillows and solid wood furnitures are made without harmful chemicals, with thoughtfully chosen materials designed to support healthier living and more restorative sleep. I got to tell you something. We got to upgrade. Thank you to Avocado Green Mattress. Thank you. And I'm telling you, it is a healthier home environment and so comfortable and it's better for you in the planet so you're killing so many birds with one mattress. Okay. They got sleep trials of one year to ensure you're getting the best mattress for you. If you want calm, grounded living, well designed sleep space promotes a sense of calm. And I'm telling you, help reduce stress after a long day. Got to lay down on one of these things. It's so cool. They're amazing. Built to last too, but they really are. Very durable high quality materials. Avocado products are an investment in long term vitality, not a short term fix. Sleep matters. Avocado dream of better. And now they're having a great sale on mattresses. Go to AvocadoGreenMatress.com slash bad friends to get up to 15% off. That's AvocadoGreenMatress.com slash bad friends for up to 15% off mattresses. AvocadoGreenMatress.com slash bad friends. Rocket money. Rocket money. You saved me so much money on Rocket money. Yes, I did. Rocket money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitoring your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your saving. We've all heard about it. You've heard these ads a thousand times before all over the place because it works. Rocket money helps you reach your financial goals much faster because what they do is they create a dashboard where you can see all of the things that you're spending money on, whether it's games like Bobby on your phone and subscriptions you forgot you signed up for. There's so much nonsense you're paying for. Let Rocket money clean it up for you. You saved so much money when I saved well you did more than me. I saved a little bit. You saved a lot more thanks to Rocket money because you were paying for so many different subscriptions. So many subscriptions. I had a meditation subscription I never used. Hundreds of dollars wasted. So a couple of video games like games. A couple like 20. 20 of them. Okay, that's fine. I saved I don't want to disclose it but thousands and thousands of dollars a year. That's a lot of money that you saved while using all those apps premium features. That Rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join right now at rockamoney.com slash bad friends. That's a rocket money.com slash bad friends one more time. Rocket money.com slash bad friends. You keep the troops in line these boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You don't do that with your crew. They're all subject to NDAs so I have a... Fuck, we never made these guys sign NDAs for the tour we did. These guys are too late. McCone has one. Yeah, Adam, they could ruin our careers. Yeah, once we get a career they could fucking bear. I'm actually here to get them to unionize. I'm trying to take down all of the podcast. We are in. Very funny, right guys? I'm funny. Dude, you guys deserve to own the means of production. Totally. We've been saying that for six years. Yeah, it's a... Yeah. This is a republic, man. This is not... This is a republic. Yeah, this is a republic. Dude, I know dude. This is a republic. Yeah, this is a republic. Burbank is too. How far is Jay Leno's car? He lives upstairs. He does. He'll come down in the middle of this. Man, get that gun. How is he okay? He just keeps getting into slapstick style kind of accidents. I think he's doing a lot of prat falling. I think there's... The video of him, the video of him where he's like, I'm fine. That one is just... He just fell down. Well, he hits the fire hydrant where he's like tall. I mean, he's a colleague. So, and a friend. I mean, like, I'm not... This is... Yeah, the... The burn accident? Like, oh my god. He's okay. I hope he's okay. I think he's got to be okay, man. He's still doing car shows every week. Burn accident. How many cars? Arific garage accident. This man who death follows him everywhere he goes. He's like in the movie Final Destination. Do you know him? Yeah, brand new phase. Adam, do you know him? Jay? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What? Yeah, yeah. You guys serve him Vietnam together? Well, it's a... There's a... You know, like the Harvard Club? Oh. It's like for talk show. Talk show club. So, it's me, Leno. What's... Bill Marck. Kelsey lately. Uh-huh. Yeah. Who else? I don't know. Jimmy Fallon. Uh, that British guy that no one likes... Gordon. Gordon. I mean, sorry. He's a friend. Are you guys... Are your boys with him? Bobby. You boys with him? He produced something I was in. What did he produce? That game show I did. Oh, it's terrible. What was it called? How to be a fatso for England? Apparently he's terrible to, uh, like, in a restaurant. Well, the rumor was Balthazar. Oh, yeah, Balthazar. He was like a dickhead. Yeah, yeah. What's his name? Uh, the... Who's the restaurant through their own's Balthazar? Uh, Los Angeles. What? Not Jose and Dres. You fucking idiot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, no, no. No, you guys are inspiring me to talk to these 80s. Keith McNally. Keith McNally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you blushed. You blushed? I mean, just to get the answers just from one side. You don't ever blush. Man, oh, you represent bad friends. Don't blush. You're right. Why, that's nice. Yeah, yeah. You don't have like a bitch, dude. Stop. Don't talk to him that way. He fuck you out of frame, man. You're not trying to out of heart alone. No, guys, you're making out of frame. It's a complete honor in a privilege to be a guy. I got it really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm here in Los Angeles just visiting and this is one of the stops I'm making. What are you doing in LA? You hate LA. I don't know. I don't hate LA. Don't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I like LA. It's gorgeous. Yeah, I'm from here. I was born here. Yeah, but you're a New York guy. You're a New York guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm just Jewish and wearing glasses. That's what I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We like to keep you guys over there. They're Jews in LA. I know, but here they're there. We keep them in order. We keep them. Where are the Pico Robertson era? Area? There or Century City or Beverly Hills? Yeah, yeah, yeah. South Beverly Hills, South Fairfax. Do you like have a wall around the... They would let us do it. This is so sort of a war song, yeah. I think it's pretty popular to be... Who do you think runs the industry that we work... Chinese people? Yeah, no. That's not true at all. Seriously? No, no, no, no. You don't think the Chinese run us? No, no, no. I do... On stage, I do a joke about if they... They have to not take it from the Jews. Hollywood. And if they did, you know, Bobby, they would make like, what? Going to work one, going to work two and stuff. The Chinese. It would be terrible. Are these movies? I'm just saying, if they ran it... It's kind of the Jews. Hacked in a train is a good movie. Yeah. It would be called... Yeah. We don't know how to wait in line. Do you ever think about what it's like just there in China? Yeah. Yeah, I haven't been, have you been? No, but it's just... What, for like 60 years, they're just going like... Yep. Is that dynamite? No, I'm just like in a family line. Yeah, yeah. That's the... Do you read the worst in assembly? That's how slow he goes. Yeah, fire. I'd be terrible at being Chinese. I'd be one of the worst Chinese imaginable. A little American kids get easy-bake oven. Just their whole life. They're just this. That's what they get. Oh, I know. That's what they get. I imagine. And I have my own YouTube and Jewish style long form interview talk show and I complain... Look at this. This is terrible. She loves it. Yeah, she loves it. Also, what are they dreaming? What are they thinking? Are they fucking? Yeah. They're going to the club and fucking. Really quick. How do they get drunk? At work. Yeah. No, they're not gonna... No, they're not allowed to go to the bathroom. They have to poop their pants. They have to... I just think, yeah, what's... What do they do for fun over there? It just... It feels so forward. Okay. We're working in a factory. Adam, okay? I'm not gonna work in a factory. I don't know. Let's do a scenario. Yeah. Go ahead. Oh my god. That was a tough... Hey, Cha-Tong. Hey, what's up? That's really... Oh, holy shit. I like the way you talk. Oh, yeah. I just spent some time in America. We have to be back here in two hours. What do we do? Do we sleep, eat? Sleep, eat, or party. You don't get two hours. There's a suicide net. If you want to jump off the roof, then you have to go back and make more iPhones. Have you jumped into the net yet? No. It's pretty fun. I'm drawn. Yeah. Oh wow. You gotta jump. It's a little bouncy. Yeah. There it is. I've been in that net. Dude, that's so crazy. What is... What do they do after work? Yeah, what do they do after work? Yeah, yeah. They go home. Are they washing mandalorian? Yeah. What do they do? Yeah. I'm glad. Because they gotta be up in three more hours. There's no TV. It's a tough life. Well, I'm glad there's no TV, because the TV sucks. They're smart to not have TV. TV is... Awesome. You get to what... They have sports games. Yeah, sports TV is different. But TV shows... Like, name a TV show you like. Supranos? That's on right now. That is a current show. Inside the NBA. Yeah. See? Nonsport shows. What's a good show right now? See? And just like that? Fuck you. I like that. I've seen every episode. I've seen every episode. Why? Because I'm not a good actor? No, I thought you were great. You know, Sarah Jessica was on my show, actually. I love her. Yeah, yeah. She's so nice, you know? She's awesome. She's awesome. She's the president of Girls. Yeah, push your white whale for your show. Amy Schumer probably. Or... White whale for the show? I don't know. How was she like? Amy Schumer. But I'm never met her. Oh, cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering Who's niece am I? Beepie and then Yahoo. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta be somebody. Somebody has a piece. Oh no, I've gotten none of the advantages of a... You have no nepotian? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Waste the time. I know, it sucks. Get out of this business. That's when my parents told me the night before I moved to New York. Don't listen to those Jews. I mean, but honestly, I mean like seriously, like they were like, we don't know anyone in the entertainment industry. But as good as you are, as funny as you are as talented as you are, to not have anything to help you outstinks. Nick Mullen. Pretty much. He's an anti-Semite. I mean, it's like that. We're on it. Yeah, it's pretty much the only person that's ever known. It's like a... No, yeah. I remember, like I thought, because I started in DC and I was like, I was like the glasses, Jewish guy, and like the local scene. And then I moved to New York and I told my parents, I was like, we don't have any connections in show business. You're gonna fail, you're an idiot. And then I moved to New York and they were like, they were probably 2000 guys named Adam Friedland. Literally Adam Friedland, like just me, Jews. Yeah. There's nothing special about me whatsoever. Yeah. Yes there is. To do stand up, you know. You know there's something special about you. Something very special about you. I have a little secret. You know? I'll never tell you. No. Where were you born in the city? Where were you born? Santa Monica. You were born in the city. I'm on the Wikipedia. The West Side? I'm on the Wikipedia Saint John's Hospital. Are you really? Yeah. One of the most famous guys born there. Well, Mariska, Mariska Hargote. Mariska Hargote. Big fans of her at this show. She was, she's on the list next to me, notable patients. It's not, not cool when you guys make lists, but this one's good. Is this Wikipedia? Friedland is. Who writes it? You can check out like, what? He's the former. What? Fionce, a podcaster. Dasha. Oh yeah, he's currently engaged to. Wait, no, come, don't. How does this know this? She gets mad at the issue. Well, did you put this out there? No, no, look at the editors. You can check, oh God. Oh, dude. This is, this was terrible for me. Hot. Hot. I was, when I did the photo shoot for that article, they did. Comedy Central presents. No, it's easy. No, it's easy. Shane text me, he was like, it's actually making me so mad how gay this is. That's a cool photo, dude. That's a cool photo, dude. And I love those chairs that you have on your show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, but I was on the chair. They asked me to do like, or on the floor. And I was like, can you not use these? I like stopped in the middle of it. They used it as the main picture in every comics group chat. I was like, fuck this guy. Yeah, that's cute. And also like, look at my cheeks. They like airbrushed me. Ugh, disgusting. What do you mean they airbrushed you? Like, look at that. I mean, I have acne scarring. They got red. Yeah, yeah. It looked good though. It can never get rid of mine. I have this big chunk here. They can't, even if they tried, they're like, it gets pretty good. Accutin? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, me too. Me too. Twice. How much rage against the machine do you listen to when you're on Accutin? Literally, that's all I would listen to. How do I do it? Fuck you, dad. It makes you aggressive. It makes you crazy. It makes you kind of crazy. It makes you a little manic. Yeah, I took it my senior year, and I was doing my college essays. And... Did you pick at your acne? Is that why they're scarring? No, this was because a group would, it would group. And then... We had cystic acne. Yeah. It would layer a lot. What's the cause of that kind of acne? Asian people probably in my proximity. The more of you that were around... Really, you grew up around Asian people? They were everywhere these people. You can't get rid of them. I grew up in Vegas, actually. A lot of this is from... A lot of Filipinos. Oh, right. You like them? I love them too. I love them. Those are good. They're the best ones. They're the second best people. What's the first? Mexican. Yeah. Third. What's mine? Yeah. What's your regular... Power Raging Races? We should do... We're like Bill Simmonds. I could do my Asian list. Yeah, what's your list? You have an Asian list? No, not Asians. Just every kind of person. Every kind of person. Also, I cut off Andrew. Okay. Okay. This was good. It's very short. Yeah, top three races. Can I say fat whites? Fat whites? Is that the worst people? No, I love fat whites. Because they're nice to me. No, good looking whites are not as nice. That's true. The guys are good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's go. Korean. Korean's the best race for you. Korean one? Well, I'm Korean. I have to say that. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't put you in. Okay, you're top 25. Okay. Number two Filipinos. Yeah. Three Mexicans. Yeah. Four, any kind of black. Any kind. Even like Minnesota? Yeah, I like Minnesota. All right. The Chipotle. The Champagoras. I like that. He's good. Okay, cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering I like those. Yeah. What's that? The Goth Black. Black guys out like Goth music is. Yeah, I love Goth Black. Goth Blacks are cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, they're my favorite. Look, they're like I know Trinity. It's crazy because they always sound like they're from California even though they're not. Morpheus is my favorite. Yeah, Morpheus style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are my favorite. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, as I try to go super say in, they think it's a real thing. Yeah, those guys. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. What's at my show is wearing sunglasses in the audience. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like a snake, dark purple jacket. Yeah, I like that. No shirt. Yeah, no shirt. Yeah, shirtless. Yeah, yeah. I tattoo of some sort of number. Punk, punk, is this punk Mexican? Punk Mexicans are great. Oh, I love that. Smith Mexicans are the best. Yeah, Smith Mexicans. Oh, Smith Mexicans. Yeah, Smith Mexicans. I grew up with a lot of Mexicans and I became like, I earned their respect because I smoked a mota and I also smoked weed and they're like, oh, they Jewish kids, they like weed too. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And they were like, tell me Adam, you're like a emo and I was like, no, I don't know. And I was like, I like access. I was like, I like like radio head and like, I don't know, I guess I like music. And he's like, you like those little sweets. And I was like, yeah, I love the Smiths. And they're like, they're really into the Smiths, but specifically, Morrissey. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, but I was like, it's weird that you guys are into the Morrissey because like you're homophobes. You're homophobes. And they're like, that's a fucked up thing to say about Morrissey, man. Like they didn't know, they didn't get that he's gay. They're like, they have no idea. Him's hair. Him's when hair starts to thin, confidence can too. That's why him makes it simple to feel like yourself again with access to simple personalized care that fits your life and your hair goals. Dr. Trusted Agreed, it's like, Finasteride Monoxidil can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Him's brings expert care right to you. 100% online access to personalized treatment plans that put your hair goals first. No hidden fees, no surprise costs. Just real personalized care on your schedule. Think of him as your digital front door. It gets you back to your old self. Simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for real health concerns. All in one place and for simple online access to personalize and affordable care for hair loss, weight loss and more, visit hymns.com slash bad friends. That's hymns.com slash bad friends for your free online visit. hymns.com slash bad friends feature products include compounded drug products with the FDA does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality. Prescription required, see website for full details to restrictions, important safety information, individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral monoxidil in Finasteride. Factored. I have goals. Yeah, I got more goals than you, I feel like. Yeah, you do. Actually, I'm meeting. I'm meeting. And how are you feeding it? From factor. Exactly. Thank you to factor cold days, big goals. No time to cook. Factored meals makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs. So eat well without the planning or the cooking. We got a fridge full of factor meals here on the studio and they're fantastic because we're always on the go, we're on the move and I want something healthy and delicious that is also high protein, calorie smart, Mediterranean they got in there, they got diet friendly stuff. GLP one support and ready to eat salads all for us on the go. Oh, refined sugars, no one, fristle sweetener, no refined seed oils, barley, functional ingredients, including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients and healthy fat. Always fresh, it's never frozen, it's ready in about two minutes. I mean, it's so fast, you need a good meal that's delicious and healthy, help you reach your goals, whatever they may be, you got to try factor, man. Head over to factor meals.com slash bad friends 50 off and use the code bad friends 50 off to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month with factor. New subscribers only varies by plan one free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. Shopify. Hey guys, we have an online business. If you have an online business, you got to do Shopify because you want something reliable. Yeah, I do. Yeah, easy dashboard. Simple to use, easy and efficient. You can accelerate your efficiency, whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify's packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. Thankfully for Shopify, they help our online business get whatever we need to use seamlessly and easily. And also, they got great customer support. Yeah, what if I, what if people haven't heard about your brand? Shopify helps you find your customers with easy, to run email and social media campaigns. Best part is that iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world. That's why they got the best conversion in checkout on the planet. It helps you boost those conversions. Less carts are gonna go on abandoned and more sales for you. All right, so it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash bad friends. Go to Shopify.com slash bad friends. Shopify.com slash bad friends. Genuinely though. Yeah, all jokes aside, who is the one that you want to get on there so bad? There's got to be someone that you're like, you know who'd be fucking perfect for this show that won't do it. City sweetie, no cam. Just no, no, no, just no cameras. No, no condoms look cameras. No card, no condoms. I don't know Obama. Happy fun. Hey, have you children Bobby? He's been here. He's been here. You just made Obama did just meet him. What was it like? It's a little annoying. No, no, no. When he was wonderful, who's great? It was really good. Yeah, he's like magic. Sweet, such a sweet, like affable and also like disarming. Right as you talk to him, you're like, oh, I feel good. This is fine. I want to ask him if he's depressed. I did. You did a Ray? Yep. I said, how do you feel you look like you're depressed? No, you know what it is? I bet you he's. Can you imagine what it's like to be Obama? It's got a suck. Yeah. Why? Because all the time, everything is all the time and you're the one. He's fucking Neo. It's like a, yeah, yeah. He is the one. You're the one. You're the one, you're the one for all the good and all the bad. No, no more so it's just like everything, everything went crazy after he was the president. That's what I mean, it's also. He's got to be like, is it my fault? Well, 100%. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he looked like when I met him. Really? Yeah. Really? That looks a lot like Morpheus from the movie, the Matrix. Sure. Sure, if you're small-minded, but this is if you really know what's going on in the world. He probably always has to be nice too. When he's out in public, yeah, yeah. Do you feel like you have to? Yeah, but I don't have the kind of image. But you have a bad boy image. Yeah, you do. You think I have a bad boy image? Yeah, I'm nice to everybody. No, I'm nice to everybody. No, everyone says like you're at the Viper Room Sunset Street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kiss the sidewalk where River died. There's a lot of stories I hear about people. I always do. I miss you, River. When someone meets me and they'll go, you know, I met Bobby when he was in town or whatever. And I'll go, oh yeah, and they'll go, yeah, he's like through a forest. And like yelled at the server and we loved it. Yeah, yeah. They love when he's a fucking mania. You know, that's not true. You know that I'm a nice guy. No, but I'm saying you do you play? I don't do that. You play bits with people. You guys got to pipe up. You do bits and we know you fucking do. What people with less money than you? Yeah, he does like doing bits with strangers. And then he likes, it's like his, what, Bill Murray. He wants to be Bill Murray. He wants like an even nugget of, you know what Bobby did here? When he was here. Oh yeah, he loves that shit. Yeah, he like went to a wedding and, yeah, you do love that. Don't lie. I guess so, yeah. You do. You're a rambling man. What? A rambling man. I'm a rambling man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Marble like a marble man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dick Hammer. We learn. You do that kind of thing. You go to like a random bar mitzvah and you're like Bobby Lee just chilled with us all night. I would do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wouldn't do a party. Yeah, yeah. He would do it if he would do it if it's like a, if it was like a small click somewhere at a private little thing, he would bust in on that famous people. No, he loves that. Oh, I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Famous. Famous. Famous. Who's the most famous person you have in your phone? It's not like him. What? Already, it's not like him. He has way more. I'm going to ask him next, but yeah, who's yours? Um, fuck, man. It's not in my phone. Look. What? Yep. Oh, no, I know. I know. I know. He goes home. Look at that. Look at that. Look at it. What are you doing there? Dude, like, it looks like I was going to point at something. Yeah. Can you text a pic of me just going like this? Is that your girlfriend or wife? That's my wife, yeah. Yeah. Who do you have? I don't know. I don't. There's no one. You know everyone that I know. That's not even Travis Kelsey. Do you have his number? No. You lying, fuck. Do you have Travis Kelsey's number? No. You really got it. So how do you go? How do you hang out with him? DM. Oh, you DM him on his phone. Only DM. Oh, no, on Twitter. We don't do anything. All right. I don't know. No one really. Stop, maybe. Stop. Our boy. Yeah. Shane, maybe. Maybe, I don't know. Non-comics. You got some people in there. You know what he's saying. He's excited. Oh, wow. That's not fired. I don't want to. I've genuinely heard that. I saw you. Too much. We do it too much. Jamie Lee Curtis should be texturing. This why? Because you were in one of those yogurt commercials. It's yogurt for your pussy. I didn't move it with her. I didn't move it with her. I didn't move it with her. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Michael Bay. What? Yeah. Oh my god. Tell it. Can you say my boy, Adam says the ambulance was fired. Yeah. I like that movie. Yeah. Yeah, it's easy. What would happen if Michael Bay had drones? Finally has drones. They got the has drones now. Oh my god. I love Michael Bay. Tax Michael Bay. That Adam's here. Yeah. Yeah. Just actually just say Adam's here. Adam's here. Adam just Adam says what up? That's it. You have no one. I don't really have anybody on my phone. Then can I throw some names out? Yeah. You want to be on Bateman? No. You don't bateman's number? No. Okay. Charlie Day. No. I don't want to. It's all DMs. Really? All DMs. So you send your cock out to all these guys? Just the just the dogs. Yeah. Yeah. During COVID, me and my friends got addicted to that. Send your dick to the dogs. Yeah. In the boys' chat, like my friend just in the middle of the lockdown. He just sent his penis. And I was like, and he was like, yeah, he said the rule was it's gay to send it to girls, but it's cool if you're sending it to your friends. And then I said, I eventually played the game. Yeah. And then he's like, you're puffed. And I'm like, dude, no, I'm not puffed. And then he said it to my girlfriend. It'd be like, is this puffed or is this really? You were puffed though. I was puffed. Yeah. No, no, no. We know when someone's puffed, dude. I wasn't puffed. So post-stroke, post-stroke though does, that doesn't count as puff. After you have a stroke? Post-stroke, post-comp. Oh, I don't know why I thought it was like, yeah, like after you're sick. No, because after you nut, you're on the calm down. So can you send a calm down photo? Well, that's puffed. No, because puff is on the way up. I think that is the deflation, the deep puff is, that's not on you. How fast do you deflate? Post? Yeah. How fast do you deflate? The point is I wanted it to look beautiful for my friend. Yeah, we got it. But I mean, how quickly? How quickly after you nut does it deflate? It depends on how quick my wife is coming upstairs. I'm barely hard at this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a noodle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, it's pretty fast for me. I can get it. Three minutes. Full minutes. Yeah, three minutes for me. Three minutes of deflation? Yeah. What are you 13 years old? What are you the healthiest man in the world? No, I use Bluetooth. Oh, we have chat on some, oh, they don't do us anymore. They don't? No, they did come down for a very long time. Yeah. I do make irresponsible claims. Are you doing shows in town or no? No, I was just in Seattle for doing a weekend. Now I'm meeting with some of the most powerful executives. Wait, what club's up there? There's a new one, Emerald City. Have you done up there? No. Seattle last time I did it was a club that closed years ago. A lot of life I used to play. Yeah, a parlor. Yeah, yeah. That's closed forever. It's gone, yeah. This is new Emerald City. Yeah, it was like, it was like nice. Yeah, it was my first weekend after a year because I took the year off the road to get the talk show up and running. So yeah, so it was like my first weekend back out. It was so fun. It's actually like, yeah, you know when you're doing stand-up all the time you hate it? Yeah, yeah. It really, I feel like a young kid again. I feel like a bright, I'd kid again. Wow. You bring someone with you? Yeah, I brought my boy Caleb. Out on the road and he has to do anything. No, no. No, no. Yeah, I brought my friend Caleb who also works on the talk show with me, the writer on the talk show. And yeah, no, it was like, it was funny remembering how to do an hour. Yeah. And then like, yeah, and then you get it back down and you're like, oh, actually, this is a blast again. Yeah, yeah. And then whatever. Cut, only. She needs a skirt. Last night I was at the store, I was about to go up and I just laughed. Where? Gelsons? Yeah, Gelsons. Yeah. I just looked on stage. I was like, I don't want to do it. Why? It was the first time I was ever like that where I was like, I'm not going to do it. Are you over it because the hour's done? Yeah, I just looked at it because Sebastian was up there killing and I was just kind of like, I'm going to go home. You have a shotgun on dick. Yeah. Just for fun. Who did he kill a woman? I'm still. It would be funny. Let me say you have anxiety. What's going on here? No, I'm a fidgety guy. Yeah. You mentioned. You take a man of scalpel. Adam, do you take anything? Do I take anything? Yeah. You're depression or anything? Yeah, Jacob. Jacob. You're off and jail. Yeah. No, I don't take anything. I just got an Alexa Pro. I'm not a whack of you. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever taken anything? Cock. Yeah, a lot of cock. I'm a college. I tried to do, uh, oh man. I keep to it. One of the antidepressants. I don't know which one I did. Zoloft? Yeah, one of those. I think your penis doesn't work, right? No, mine still did. Oh, nice brother. Yeah, mine still did. It wasn't that I felt like a woman. I'm depressed. Yeah. I'm sad about the world. I mean, you're supposed, isn't everyone depressed? Right. Yeah. I feel like depressed is like, you know, I'm not going to be depressed is like everyone's, you should, everyone should be depressed, right? Yeah, varying levels. Yeah. All the sad all the time, though. I mean, it's, yeah, if you're going to die one day, so that's really sad. Yeah. Yeah, you don't get to be alive after that. I'm on the fence about it. It's like, I am depressed, but it's like, I mean, that's, I think that's what drives. Yeah, this is the thing about, that's the thing about LA comedy. They fucking talk like there's like women to each other. Not like a new you are. Not like a new you're you got all those Kings of comedy out there, busting down the walls of these sensitive guys. I, I rewatched the King's special in Seattle this weekend. It was my favorite comedy special as a kid. Oh, Kings of comedy. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, it's so funny. It's so good. The fucking Titanic, but it is, I think it's the funniest standup bit of all time. That's whatever that one. The Steve, the Steve Titanic bit. Uh-uh. Oh my god. He's unbelievable. What a genius. Give it. Yeah, that same joke about it. If black people, you know, yeah, but doing it in a tone, he said, I hated that dry ass long ass movie. And he's like, uh, something about the little boy that killed that kid drown these motherfuckers. Yeah, yeah. So he establishes that he doesn't like the movie Titanic. Yeah. And then he says, uh, you know, what, uh, you never hear about 3000 black people dying at the same time, which is, you know, that's a joke. You know, like, uh, it wouldn't have been like that. It hadn't been black people. And he's like, you saw that movie. The band can't play it as a shit went down. And he's like, what kind of black band keeps playing cool in the gang would have been rude. That's funny. Yeah. And then, uh, and then he talks about how he does this act out, which is this really takes it to the next stratosphere where he has this tiny little side table. And he turns it over and, uh, he's like, I would have been turned over the damn table. And, uh, and then there's a dinner napkin on top. And he's like, open it up and dinner napkin. And then he does the thing where he's blowing on the dinner like, like a sale in these kicking people. Thank you, Robert. Yeah. Yeah. Are you Robert? Yeah. Robert Lee. Yeah. Come on in one. Okay. I like Robert Lee. It's, it makes you instantly like a, yeah, like a, ooh, my straw. Robert Lee. Oh, general. Yeah. You have the same name as the, is the general. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow, your middle name is, uh, young Lee. Yeah. With an E. What, what do I, young Lee? Yeah. You have the best name of all time. Young Lee. Wow. That song was so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love, yeah, I love music. Now you love young, you love young Lee? I think he's really, he's really cool. Yeah. This kid, that's this kid's great. Bitches come and go. Yeah. Uh, yeah, this is, you know, uh, Robert, he doesn't know that. You don't know. That's a reference that is not going to go near him. What kind of music do you listen to? Karaoke? Oh, that, come on, dude. That's good. Stop it. Yeah, yeah. Why? What? I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I love Coldplay. Yeah, first two albums pretty good. Yeah, you like commercial shit too. Yeah, you like all of it. I like all of it. Yeah, yeah. I love Coldplay. Yeah. Yeah, you have his number? No, I don't know. Oh, no, no, no. Um, I like, um, fans like the pixies and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. Who gots you? I like cool sonic youth. And what's, and what's Andrew more into? You know, he's into everything. Like he is a true, he likes everything. Hit pop historian. I love hit pop. Yeah. He knows a little bit of everything. Big, big trigger. Big trigger as a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I like soul. Yeah, yeah. I told Jay to kiss when he came on the show. Fucking love Jay. I came out of the closet. I was like, I feel bad, but we used to, me and Jewish guys used to lock the door and put on Mitchell and Nesson. Just pretend to be like you and he was like that. He thought it was cool. He, I had to come clean. Why would you think he wouldn't like it though? I mean, it's embarrassing. So what? I'd be like, yeah, you're pussy. I don't know. I have found out from the talk show that rappers have gotten along with rappers. It has made me feel. I love comedy. It's a lot of them do. It's a dream. I mean, it's like a bar mitzvah or something. You find the approval of a rapper. Cute. Yeah. I had G Herbo on the show. On your show. Yeah, yeah. And we got along famously. And it was like, I was like, it's incredible. It's incredible. I mean, he's probably killed like three, maybe. But three is not that bad. Three is not a lot. Five and a half. He grew up in like fucking literally black hulk down. I mean, like Chicago, South South Chicago was like, yeah, it's part of the world. Yeah. Is it still tough? I mean, yeah. What happens? I mean, why is it so tough? I give four. What happened? What happened? 13 year olds have guns. Oh, they don't have guns. Yeah. It's like legal. Correct me if I'm wrong. It's legal under a certain line of demarcation for like if you're black, if you kill another black person, basically, but like North, if you like. But the cops are going to stop anything. No one's going to break anything up. They should, I mean, they should probably, right? No. No, you got to let it go. Do you have Lori Lightfoot's number? Yeah, you want to call her? I'm trying to. You trying to fuck? You have her number? Who's that? Fuck no. No, no. Lori Lightfoot. Yeah, she's the big, uh, I mean, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Yeah, she's the, uh, didn't Trump call her mayor crackhead? Mayor crackhead. Yeah, that wasn't very nice. Chicago's homicide rape or capital significantly higher than New York City and Los Angeles filled out. If he'd been the closest, not still, you still not us, fillings. Cause when I'm in Schomburg, I don't, I don't feel it. No, that's not where we're, that's not, that's not it. Yeah, no, it's crazy. They're, I just see many, many malls and, yeah, that's all the malls. Vainey's Rosemond. No one's going to get clicked out there. Oh, yeah. Schomburg, I play the improv. Yeah. Yeah. So if, from the Schomburg improv, how far do I have to go? It's north, south side. It's southeast from there. And it's Schomburg north of Chicago. Schomburg is northwest of Chicago. Northwest, right? So how far would have to drive down to get the South? Like an hour to get to where you want, wouldn't where I want to go. Yeah, you know, you don't want to go. Yeah, but if I step out of the car, I'm like, hello, what would happen? They probably, they go, that's a bomb. Not man TV, motherfucker. Man TV, man TV. Yeah, you'd be good. Yeah, I'd be good. You would. Yeah, yeah. If I go, hello. And I'd step out and they go, that's some motherfuckin with that dude on man TV. And they're like, oh, it's miss, miss Juan is here. Yeah. They go miss Juan. Oh, it's the miss Juan. Yeah. Yeah. No, they're like, oh, he was on, and just like that, he did the podcast with Carrie. He was fabulous. Carrie and J.D. as. I love, I watched the whole thing. I had no idea what was going on on that show. Wait, you, I never ran it. I just didn't know. Wait, you weren't a fan? I had no idea about what it was all about. Why? Because I put in the work. I know all about it. I know, I know. They call, I knew, I mean, I was called sexually sex in the city. Culturally, I know what it is. You culturally? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but you look great. That shirt's cool. Did you bring your own war shirt? They made me wear that. And this is what people like you wear, right? It's like a paparazzi style. It is. That looks like you guys are just out in LA. The stars are just like us. Yeah. And just like that. And just like that, the stars are like us. She was very nice. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, yeah. Yeah. I had her on my show and, uh, and, uh, and, uh, gay fellow told me that I, uh, showed her in a light that, uh, no one has. And if I really, if a gay person says that, they know this shit. Wow. Yeah, they know this type of shit. What kind of light did you show her in? I, as like, uh, her personality and like, uh, just, yeah, true, genuine way. I tried to do that on the show. So it's like a, kind of a sweet. It was really nice. I mean, if a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a home a sexual, if a, a butt pirate says that to you. What happened to a butt pirate? Butt pirate. It's an insane butt pirate. But you know, it was surprisingly like, she was surprisingly kind of down to earth and, yeah, and the experience wasn't like, because my, my fear is, oh my god. You know, I mean, because if she was rude, then I'd be like, I don't want to do this. Yeah. I mean, it was just like, she was pretty cool. You know, so yeah, yeah. Did you rip ass on set? Did you ever rip ass around any of it? What? I asked her, yeah, we did a thing where we asked her, um, I did like fake questions from like friends. And I got Caleb to leave one of the voicemails and he's like, Hey, like, um, I just want to address the elephant in the room. Like, was there ever a time where like Charlotte or Randir, you just like farted, like, really disgustingly like, yeah, all you're making the show and like, who's your favorite caring boyfriend? And she was like, she was like, I think that's the one that pushed a little bit far. Really? She's very proper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like a reader. Did she ever tell you about that? No. No, well, I mean, she likes to read books. You didn't chat with, yeah. What? You never chat with. Oh, no, this was, you were like sitting, she's like reading something. You know, I mean, I'm playing a candy cross. Yeah. Really, you didn't, you didn't vibe out? Whoa, good morning. Good morning. Is that something? Yeah, yeah. Really? Oh, you're not making your sound good though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I would say. No, she'd be reading. She'd be reading candy cross. How was your, do you sleep well? I got, she asked about your sleep. Good morning. Yeah, and that kind of, good morning. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a nice thing. She'll go, have you ever been up to Sedona or something? She said that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I've never really noticed. I think that's really nice. It's time of year. Did you get Jey down your show from a guy named Vinnie? Vinnie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of my good friends. Vinnie, yeah. That's crazy. Have you seen his tattoo on his butt? I've seen it all. That tattoo is the, he's the one of one tattoo. He's the man. We know that. You met Vinnie. You met him. You don't have any on him. On his ass, he has the Dallas Cowboys star next to a Palestinian flag. Yeah. What is that? Not the same tattoo. The combination of those two things is unbelievable. Well, Jerry Jones is Palestinian, that's why he got it. Yeah. He was in the PFLP for a while. That might look like a Dallas Cowboys star. No, it's just a star, but it covered up a what? A name? What was it? It was a butterfly. Butterfly, that's right. So you were like, I'm embarrassed. I have a butterfly, somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. When I was drinking, I had a butterfly tattoo there. Okay. I was drunk, and then I was embarrassed. I put a star on top of that. That's a good story. Wait. What? You have tattoos or no? No, I have no respect for any tattoo I've ever seen ever. It's like street art. Yeah. You might get a look at a graffiti and be like, wow. No, no, I've been, I don't even know. I know, that's just, it's why would I do that? Yeah. I just don't know. Ridiculous to get that. For ever. For ever. He's got them all over. Wow. Well, I like the mad TV tattoo. Mad. You've actually earned that one too. Yeah, comedy store. How many seasons were you mad TV? Eight years. Eight years. Oh my god. You're the cool. That's so cool. It was so cool back then. It was so funny. Yeah. It was just, I used to watch it. But did you say something though? I prefer this. SNL? No, this. Oh, sorry. I got with you like this thing. This kind of thing? Yeah, there's no notes. There's no somebody saying, you know what I mean? You can't do that. Well, these are the conversations that comics have. Yeah, yeah. What no one's watching. Yeah. There's no like, oh, you're 20 minutes late with the fuck, you know what I mean? They said that on a mad TV to you? Yeah, you would get in trouble if you were like an hour late or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did Arty survive? I wasn't on with him, but you know, he barely survived. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The story he tells about the pig thing is the funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You never did anything with him. No, I never met him. I mean, I know him now, but like, back then you did not. No crossover. No crossover, no. I crossovered with Alex Borsten who did Miss Swan, you know what I mean? Yeah, oh, I thought I never run. I thought it was. Were you like, hey, this is what the hell is this? Oh, no, no, you came up with that? No, I think I'll know that. But if someone was doing a character or a mad TV with me, like, has she, Tessha, what's the pedophile? I would be like a little bit like, you're a black guy. Why are you doing for me? It's comedy. There's no bounds. There's no bounds. He's also so good at it. He's so good at it. Yeah, my friend actually, his mom was a dentist. She did Alex Borsten's teeth or no, no, no. He wrote a letter to Mad TV and he said he loved the Miss Swan character. And she sent back a, what do you call it, headshot and it said, Phil, you look like a man and then she signed it. And yeah, and he had it next to a stone cold thing because his mom did stone cold's teeth. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, look at like he looked like a man. Phil, you look like a man. Yeah. That's so funny. Who wrote that? She did. Really? Yeah. You know that she said to me when I got on the show, she pulled me aside. She goes, get off the show as quickly as you can. She said that to you because I hate it here. Oh, I thought she was like, I don't want to see your celestial ass around. Listen, you fucking, how long was she on? Three or four years. She's lowest, no? Yes. Yeah. Wow, she's the best lady of all time. The best. Oh my God. You have her number? No. Why didn't you get her number? There's some cast members where I just never clicked with. She was one of them. She was one of them, yeah. Do you play clubs here when you're in town or no? No, no, no. Come to the store. Are you there tonight? Are you there tonight? No, I'm out. Val, how long you mean? I'm there tonight. When are you there? Really. Next with Monday. Are you going to do Monday that's the cast? Monday, that's the cast. Yeah. You have Jay's number? No. Oh yeah. You have Jay's number? He's upstairs. What? Jay, Jay's stuff. Jay's stuff. I love him so much. He comes to the store now more. I don't know why he's been coming along, but he has. Is he amazing? He's. Everyone says that. I don't know him. He's 70s. They say everyone's like, that was the best comic I've ever seen. Well, you know, and then the store was the divide between him and Letterman. It was either you or his side or his side. Well, yeah. Then he crossed the picket line during the strike. How pathetic is that striking? Yeah, yeah. From what? From fucking stick. Yeah, I'm pathetic. We're going to start a union. What is the fucking lame is a rob? Yeah, but they never got paid anything. I know. The store was getting all the money. I mean, I mean, Jay, like Jay, like crossed the picket line and a fucking like clown car or something. And then Mitzie gave him a drink ticket. You know so much about that. Me? Yeah. I was there, dude. I was there, brother. Oh my God, you should have seen it. Yeah. You should have seen it. That was the good time. I think you're like Andrew in that way that you guys know tidbits of something. Like a lot. But it's about comedy, dude. That's specifically everybody knows those stories. But that's also why like young people divided on who they liked more was Letterman or Leno. But I hated that. I hated that. I liked all of them. Yeah, but it became this kind of thing. It's like that generally. You know, they're rolling stones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's bullshit. I mean, I like Conan as a kid because he was silly. Love Conan. Yeah, it was like a sloppy fun show. But I love Jay. Just just finding. Make. There. There. Come on. They're friends. I'm friends. They're a friend. Yeah, just finding dumbasses and asking them one plus one. Yeah. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. Okay, that's really nice. For me, I command, yeah, I just loser. No, no, I love the boys. Shout out to the, you're the craziest. It's like they let out the insane asylum. Adam, look in the camera and go, um, what? Thank you for being a bad friend. I mean, that's how we close the show. All right, thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah, that's good. That's a good one. That's what I do. Why did you guys do that? You make the guest do that. That's fine. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Yeah.