Remembering Phil (Carolla Classics)

welcome to crawl classics i'm your super fan giovanni this is the podcast where we play the best moments highlights and fan selected clips from all 17 years of the adam carolla show we have a companion podcast titled crawl classics check out podcast one dot plus there you'll find the ad-free archives, and to access the ad-free archives of the Adam Carolla Show, the Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as the podcast Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Carolla's Substack, adamcarolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email classics at adamcarolla.com. Let's get to the clips. Coming first, we have Adam Carolla Show 1728, featuring Cousin Sal, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. This one's from 2016. Alright, where were we? Oh yeah, I got Phil. Speaking of Phil, I got a dog. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. You got the dog that was going to be sent out, right? From the other shop? It's a... Is that what happened? Well, what happened was is I had a puppy many years ago, a German Shepherd puppy that was, when I was single, that drove me insane for about five weeks and then died. Oh, God. Don't romanticize it. Yeah, the dog drove me so insane that when he died, I was not, I mean, I was sad, but it was almost like, okay, I can get on with my life, at least. And then I got Molly Girl. And Molly Girl was one when Molly Girl showed up. And Molly is not only good for a one-year-old, she's good for a lad, but she's good for a person. Yeah. She literally is the sweetest, nicest, easiest. And all of a sudden you have this dog that doesn't scratch, doesn't bark at the window, doesn't shit or piss in the house. It's like completely self-realized, self-autonomous dog that does nothing but eat in the morning, eat in the evening, and go outside and take shit. And by the way, if she got locked in the house for eight hours, she'd hold it until it was time to get outside. and or one time like literally got locked in the house all day and went upstairs and like shit on the tile in the bathroom. Like this is going to be the least intrusive place to shit. And I announced at that point, puppy, never again. Never again with the puppies. I want one-year-olds. I've said it and I mean it. People are like, oh, come on now. And I'm like, no, the puppy was much more work than my twins. And they're like, more work than twins? I was like, yeah, because I hired a heavyset woman of color to be the night nurse of the twins while I went and did a radio show. You can strap a diaper to the twins. Put a diaper on them, and guess who ain't changing that diaper? They got to pay somebody, but it wasn't me. The dog? Oh, no. Well, after the proclamation of no more puppies, and of course Natalia, right in my face, was she wants a puppy. I said, no, we get a dog when they're a year old and they're all coached up and we enjoy them. They're still little. Yeah, I know. Still essentially a new dog. Molly was the greatest. Well, smash cut to. Uh-oh. Well, let me tell you first. First, I'll put myself in a better mood. Blue Apron. this stuff is good healthy, strong it's better than it needs to be that's the I think that's that seems to be the common refrain with this, better better you go, oh they didn't have to make it this good that stuff is great and even the guy, I'm lowfalutin this stuff sounds highfalutin but it works It all just worked. They tread the line between falutin and naan. Yeah. Shrimp scampi with a fresh linguine. There's nothing falutin about that. Three cheese calzones, seared cod, date vinaigrette. Everything is good. Everything's good. And what we do oftentimes is old guy will just like triple down on the recipe because there's a bunch of people in my house. So this is, you know, two people can eat this. Well, we got five people. So she'll just double down on it. Spread it around. And make the exact same recipe. Pull the cards out. Keep the ones you like. It's great. And you don't have to go out, and you don't have to spend a bunch of money. It's about $10 a person, and it's about 500 to 700 calories per portion. It's all great. You make it in under 40 minutes. Go to Blue Apron, blueapron.com forward slash Adam. You can get your first two meals for free. Blueapron.com forward slash Adam. I'm telling you, try it. If part of your New Year's rezo is to eat a little better, eat a little fresher, eat a little healthier, Blue Apron. This is the way. It's coming right to your house. All right. Let's see. So what happens? I announce no more puppies. We get the one-year-olds. And then Rob, who works in the other shop, gets a Black Lab puppy, which I love. I mean, there's nothing better with the big paws and the big floppy ears and everything. And I say, okay, good for you, but I'm still going to just wait until I get a one-year-old or I'm going to find it. And then Natalia is pushing and she says – Well, she senses you want something, so she goes the other way. Right. And she also never – she's – she'll grind you. She'll just grind you. She's like an Israeli at a Turkish bazaar. My friend. My friend. No. And I'm like saying to her, look, we'll get a one-year-old lab. My friend. No. No, no, no. No, no, no. It's no good. It's no good. That's my friend. Zygote. We get the zygote. We use an instrument. We pull it from the mother. We pull it from the belly of the mother. You want the blastocyst? Okay. All right. Nine months. Give me nine months. No. My friend. My friend. No good. No good. No, no. No, no. White lab. Newborn. Still umbilical cord. Still wrapped around neck. No, no. Sounds dangerous. My friend. My friend. Hey. I can go to one month. I'm really set on getting like a semi-grown puppy. I mean, I want an adult, but I'm saying juvenile would be ideal. My friend. Ten months. I'm really looking more over the year mark. I mean, ten months is close, but 12 months plus, maybe a year and a half? No, no. No, my friend. My friend. Listen. Listen, my friend. 71 weeks. My friend. Okay, I'm doing the math real quick. 71. It's just good. 71 weeks. Oh, no. Four weeks. No, two weeks. All right, I've lost it. We're on the wrong direction. Anyway, that's all she does is haggle, haggle, haggle, grind, grind, grind, and then rat me out when I yell at her with my dad voice, you know. Well, and by the way, speaking of that, at the Christmas party, she was singing like a canary. Oh, my God. She is quite the raconteur. Yes. A lot of great stories coming from that child. Yeah, she loves it. She loves ratting me out. It's her thing. It's her thing. Very entertaining. So there's this puppy, and now Rob's landlord wants the puppy out of his place. Oh, no. And the deal is, so now I'm getting this. Now it's a perfect storm, of course. He's got the puppy. The landlord wants the dog out. ASAP. ASAP. And then there's a steady diet from Rob of, she's really, sorry, he's really good. He had one mistake in the house. One mistake and that's it. But that's it. Just one. One crap in the living room. But that's it. That's it. It's really good. I got pretty well coached up and stuff. And I'm like, you do, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So now it's like three, four weeks out of Christmas, and I'm basically saying, all right, can you hold the dog? Can you ask your landlord? Can you do something with the dog? It's a long story. Smash cut to Christmas morning, 9 a.m. Rob shows up with the dog. Natalia is tearing every present open going, where's Phil? Where is Phil? Has she pre-named the dog she didn't know she was getting? Pre-named the dog Phil. We'll put some pictures of him up at adancrola.com. where's Phil? And I'm like, well, maybe it's in that box over there. And she's like, Phil! And she starts tearing open the box. Where's Phil? Where's Phil? And then she's like, saying something like, you know, Santa wouldn't put a dog in a box. That's too mean, you know. Well, maybe it's in that bag over there, that gift bag over there. Open everything. Where's Phil? Where's Phil? Well, anyway, Rob shows up. I do the thing that, uh, well, actually just waking up and getting, I was going to say, I do the thing my parents would have never done for me, but actually just getting out of bed every day and going to work would have been something they would have never done for their family. I meet Rob outside. It's like a drug deal going down, but with a dog. Here's the crane. Here's the dog. Here's the bowl. Here's the kibble. Here's the whatever. Then, of course, Lynette's like, get the bow. Get the bow. Natalia is like, we're looking around. What kind of Christmas is this? Where is Phil? There's this hallway that just opens up into the living room. She's just sitting in the living room. And I did something that would never work if I tried a thousand more times. I put the big bow on top of Phil, throw the straps sort of over his shoulders. It's bigger than he is. He goes walking down, wandering down the hall. I get him to just wander, goes into the thing. Natalia just comes run up. Natalia bursts into tears. And it's the greatest thing you've ever seen in your life. And Phil's just licking, licking the tears off. Gary, did Lynette send you that one? The bow. The bow and the tears and the whatever. I don't think so. Send her a tweet or a text or something. See if you can find it. But anyway. Will do. Hey, it's maybe worth mentioning why they named it Phil. I had two guesses and was wrong. Oh, okay. Anybody? I had one guess. I figured it was Rosenthal. That's what I thought first. And then I saw someone tweet Philip the Juggler, which kind of warmed my heart. Would have been nice. My old friend who died. Yes. No, Phil Dunphy. from Modern Family. Wait, Natalia picked that name? Yeah. You really did get her hooked on that show. Yeah, I did. Yeah, she loves it. And that's who she named him after. Oh, that's great. So I actually started crying standing in the living room with her. She's such a tough kid. And she just burst into tears. And the dog was just like jumping on her and licking her face. It was like licking away her tears. And it was the greatest. the first sight greatest thing ever and an hour later no uh somewhere between 48 and 51 minutes later and by the way here's this thing uh i have a could this have gone any other way approach to life like i'm i'm the guy here's all i am here's here's my job my position my posture this is what I do in life. I sit in the passenger seat of life as we go down the road of life. And I'm, everyone else seems to be having a good time, listen to the radio, talking, enjoying themselves. And I'm the guy who goes, that's a pretty big pothole coming up. It's way off in the distance, but it's coming up. And everyone goes, huh? They're shooting you. And I go, there's a pothole. It's way up there. But I can see it. And they're like, shut up and turn up the radio. Don't stop believing. I don't like this song. It's not even a good song. We all love this song. Get on board. Speaking of pothole, why don't you shut your pie hole? Why are you bumming it? Why are you harshing our mouth? I go, look, the thing is if we hit this pothole, it's going to bend the rim. It might pop the tire. We're going to be off by the side of the road. I don't even know if we have a spare in this car of life. They go, relax, have a cigarette, turn it up. Just a small town, girl. Yeah, and then at a certain other point, at about a halfway point to the pothole, I go, now look, I'm not saying turn around and go home. I'm just saying let's just veer off to the left a little bit. Let's just anything but hit the pothole. And I go, we got it. Now turn up the journey. That song has made some kind of crazy comeback. Like, fuck it, it'd be like if AIDS made a full-blown comeback. I mean, it's not. It'd be just like it. Well, it's not as, it wouldn't be, it's actually worse. But what I'm saying is like a new strain that we couldn't fight with AZT or whatever it is. It's back in a big way. I think I blame the Sopranos. I don't know why. Yeah, you definitely blame the Sopranos. My daughter was singing at karaoke the other night. Like it's all over the radio. It's songs 31 years old. It was gone. It was dormant. Your nine-year-old knows it? Yeah. Singing at karaoke. It's full saturation. It was Don't Stop Believing was completely dormant in 1999. to 2008. Now it's back. Like Legos. For a while, they're flatlining. And smoke shops. And they're all back. And I'm just going to watch the bottle. And now we're coming up on it. Coming up on this bottle, we got 35 series tires on. They're like rubber bands. They're going to tent the rim. They're going to pop. We'll never make it to Phoenix. Just fear Pothole, pothole, pothole Quiet, you're drowning Then it's smash cut to us By the side of the road And someone going, do we have a jack? I don't know, do you have a jack? And then I say The pothole I was warning everyone about it Everyone goes, huh? And then everyone looks at me and goes Will you shut up and stop complaining And help us fix this car? And that's essentially my life. So I make the proclamation, no more puppies. I don't want to clean up any shit. And then I could double back and I say to myself and to anyone who will listen, this new house we moved in, I think when we bought it, obviously they were looking to sell it, but they were looking to spruce it up in a hurry. and they put this big, shitty, snap-together, floating IKEA floor in the house. And what it is is it's a fair to Midland, lower to Midland, cheap, veneered, wood floor kind of thing. You know, it looked good in pictures, but when you walked on it, especially as a guy who's used to the real oak T&G with the sand and the stain and stuff, it's a floating floor. So they snap it together. They put it in place. They cut it around. And it's like, it's a way to make your house look good for under five grand and do the whole house. And it's not actually wood. No, no. It's like most stuff is just engineered now. It's got maybe maybe that's a thin veneer of wood at the top. The rest is a bunch of plywood and chemicals and shit like that. And I announce sort of laughingly like the whole house. They did the whole house in this shit. The whole fucking house is done in this shitty cheap IKEA wooden floor. And I'm laughing because I'm like, shit away, dog. Because it's literally just like shitting on a plastic wood floor that I don't even like. So I'm like, shit away. And by the way, the dog seems to be trained anyway, at least according to Rob. Somewhere between 48 and 51 minutes after the dog came into the house, the dog took a massive... Oh, look at that dog sleeping. The dog took a massive, massive sloppy dump. Where? Where? On your pillow. on Natalia's white novelty shag carpet that basically 92% of it is under her bed, and there's a small 8% corner that hangs out. That creeps out. That creeps out from a small bedroom, and the dog literally went and shat up the corner. Gary, I took a picture of it. The thing that's comical about it's in my phone. Max Pat, I'll get it. The thing that's comical about it is, like, Lynette's like, oh, please, don't take a, you know. And I was like, I have to. I have to. Because this is, this is, the dog showed up at 9. It's before 10 a.m. The dog found a corner of novelty white shag and took a sloppy, huge shit on it. Lynette was down there with the fucking Bissell, like, you know, trying to get peanut butter out of Santa's beard kind of thing. Can you bleach it? What do you do at that point? Burn the house down and leave What happened at that point Line 5, this goes along with line 5 Remind me because then I'll get back to my Potholes scenario again Janine We're on line 5, that's Frank Oh, sorry, I screwed that up Line 5 is the dog question Sorry, I screwed that up Frank, 47, Beverly Hills Oh, Beverly Hills, Florida What's going on? What's going on, man? Hey, Adam. Nice to talk to you. Good, man. Happy New Year. Oh, yeah. No, I announced last night that this dog ruined my holiday. I spent the entire holiday cleaning up shit. That's all I did. Oh, boy. All right, sorry. We're looking at the shit. Could the carpet get any whiter or any shaggier? And that shitty wood floor is the entire house except for that one spot. All right. Anyway, comical. We're moving on. Sorry. Okay. Okay, just so happens my wife and I have been arguing for the last... Gary, take the shit picture down. I'm going to throw up in my coffee. Yes. For the last couple days, all of a sudden she wants a dog, and she's sending me pictures of the dogs, and she's showing me, isn't this cute, isn't this great? I'm like, I just don't really want the responsibility of a dog. And I saw on Facebook a couple days ago that you had gotten a dog, so I'm like, I'm going to call Adam and see what he thinks. Well, I'll tell you what. Not only the dog at Christmas seems like the most awesome plan in the world, it's the worst plan in the world. First, all right, fivefold. Fold number one. There are boxes, tinsel, and ornaments, and paper everywhere. It's a nonstop. What's the dog got in its mouth? What's it got in its mouth? It's got the box. It's got the thing. It's walking around with the thing in its mouth. It's trotting around. You're pulling because the four. Ornaments that hang low off the tree. I drank the Christmas water and then shit all over the place. And this was sloppy. So the point is like you're drinking out of the Christmas water tub. You have you have cardboard chewed up everywhere. There's stuff all over the floor because it's Christmas. Also, for me, it's the only time of the year I'm actually at home in my bathrobe and trying to enjoy myself. And I'm chasing this dog around and I have hyper vigilance. So it's like everyone else is taken to the room and their iPads. And I'm like, the dog got fed, right? Yeah. That was an hour ago, right? Why is the dog inside? Dog needs to be outside, huh? Is the dog inside? Like my hypervigilance. I could get the dog outside. Dog's had to be outside. All right. Sorry, Frank. Does that help? No, that's... Oh, geez. Well, I think my wife's going to be disappointed. Well, look, the deal is get a one... Starting a business can be overwhelming. 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And they're having a fun time over there. And Zoe Bell, by the way, from Hateful Eight, which I really enjoyed, is going to be on tomorrow. She's one of the stars of it. The show tomorrow? Yeah. So we can enjoy that. Came home. We decide to, it's a lot of, what ends up, what ends up happening is this. The dog takes the huge dump on the side of the carpet. And then I am the guy who goes, let's never let this happen again. Right, never again. And poor Lynette's with the fucking handheld Bissell down on her hands and knees for an hour in that room. And it smelled like fucking fried hell. And I'm like, let's not let this happen again. But then the next day goes around and it's like, all right, the dog's going to sleep with the towel. And I'm like, why don't we put like a beach towel down or something on that corner? Let's block that corner. And then Lynette's like, well, I got some puppy pads. And it's a lot of this. I feel like there's a lot of this in my life, which is, okay, we got to put the puppy pads down. Well, the dog chews the puppy pads. Yeah, but it'll be up on the bed. And then when he gets off the bed, instead of shitting on the carpet. Yeah, but the puppy pads get moved around. Yeah, no, but I'm always like, okay, we don't want the dog shit on the carpet anymore. Can we agree on that? This is the common goal. I'm glad everyone has taken a stand, but can we try to not have this happen again? And they said, fine, we'll put the puppy pads down that night before the dog goes in. And then we all went out to dinner and somehow they decided that my bathroom would be a good place to store the dog. And the dog pulled my bathrobe down off the rack and like wiped its ass with it, shoved it in the corner, took a shit in there. And then later on the next day, the next day I woke up and there's a nice fresh shit on the carpet where the dog had shit in the shag. And I said to Lynette and my daughter, I said, what happened to the puppy pads? And they're like, yeah, we don't know. Sometimes the dog eats them. And I said, the dog just ate the puppy pad? There's no chewed puppy pad. I don't know. And I'm like, well, Lynette, get the bissel out. And she's like, yep. And I'm like, that's something I'd like to avoid in the new year, which is I don't want to even watch you cleaning up the shit. You should not want to ever do this again. It's a shared goal. I swear to God, I think it's part of the mom gene where it's like, ah, thing shit again. Got to clean it up again. And I'm the guy who does nothing but I want everyone's face on a coffee mug because I don't want any more weird coffee spittle dried up in the bottle ever again. Like I do this. I have this thing where it's like anybody who as an adult searches around for their car keys or their sunglasses is a fucking fool that's just wasting their time. You're just wasting your time. Just put something in place. Never again. That's the way to work. Don't it's it's the weird. The weird thing is is It the greatest Verbally probably the greatest thing you could do for somebody which is what I what I if I say to my wife wow you look great God bless you I love you she probably get suspicious I probably shouldn't say that. All right. That's too far. If I said, sweetie, you're doing a great job raising these kids, you're the best, she'd love it. She'd say, thank you. If I said, put a beach towel down so you don't have to get the bissel out for an hour and clean the sloppy shit out of the shag. She'd take that as sort of an attack. But actually, in terms of practicality, in terms of words, it's much better. Because I'm trying to avoid her having to do all this horrible work again. So anyway, no beach towel, no puppy pads, and the dog just shit. And then this, again, the weird conversation. Where is the pad? I don't know. Is it still at large? No, we figured it out later that when they put the dog in my bathroom, they put the puppy pads there, and then they left the puppy pads there, and then the dog shit up the thing. And then I do this one. All right, we're heading toward the pothole of life. And I do the one where it's the third night. I make the announcement in the afternoon. Let's get those pads down so that dog doesn't shit up the corner ever again. All right, old man, stop your crowing. We're trying to party over here. And I'm always like, this is even my car. It's not my car. I just don't want you to ruin your rims. Shut up, old man. Hey, where's the In-N-Out? I saw a sign that said In-N-Out. We got to get off on Zizik's. Hey, Gina, this song's on repeat, right? Woo! Little baby! Stop. I do this move where I go, puppy pad down. You don't have to clean up the shit out of the shag. Yeah, okay. Then, of course, 11 o'clock that night. No way am I not getting out of it. No, no. No way am I not getting out of my office and going to check it. I go, going to check. Yeah. Nope. Nope. Nothing. Carp's just sitting there. Then I walk in. Lynette. Yeah. Puppy pads. We put them around. Oh, what? The pads for the dog shit. Oh, where are those? Great question. Lynette's always texting, so she's always like a little annoyed. Like, huh? What do you want? The pad? Oh, I don't know. And I'm like, I'm just trying to avoid the third pass with the Bissell on the hands and knees and the fucking vomit bag. And the poop. And the poop. That's all. That's just me. That's what I'm trying to do. Now, have you told us exactly how old the puppy is or was when you got him? ish even? We did. I think that's a very good question. I think the dog was about 11 weeks coming up on 12 weeks or something like that. But way too young to know any better. And I think the fourth night or whatever, we did put some newspaper down or the puppy pads and then the dog shit on the puppy pad. And then I said, wasn't that better? And then I got the don't stop believing. So the dog shit on the pad So we don't have to Yeah, yeah, whatever Shit on the pad Relax, old man We heard you Puppy pads Hey, set up a floor Poor Lynette has been cleaning up So we went out to see Hateful Eight And we were like, we're going out to dinner Where the kids are gone We're going to have a margarita We're going to see Hateful Eight We're going to have a great time This is going to be awesome. And they're like, what do we do with the dog? And normally, I'd just say, put the dog outside. We've got a fenced-off yard and blah, blah, blah. It has been insanely cold. And where I live, it has actually been frost. So Cal, I'm up in the foothills. It's dropping down in the 30s at night. And it's insanely, insanely cold. And I'll need you starting soon, too. Lynette thinks a coyote is going to get him or whatever. By the way, she's cleaned up so much shit. She's like, now she's like, put the dog outside. A vulture gets it. A lamb chop around his neck. Yeah. What do turkey vultures eat? They like lamb. Anyway, so we're out. We're having a great time. I mean, the kids are gone. We're out at Nobu. We're eating sushi. We did this thing that I've never done in my life, which is ordered the exact right amount of sushi. Oh, wow. How does that even happen? I've never pulled that off. Was it by accident? I said, Lynette, you order. And she ordered. And I do know this thing of like, oh, it starts to pile up real fast. And then also you're going to see a three-hour movie after this. You don't want to be smelling like rotting fish while you're sitting in the theater. But also it's 50 bucks of sushi you're not going to leave behind. You know, Lynette ordered the perfect amount. The chef came by. The chef brought like, oh, it's a little something that our chef whipped up. It was incredible. I love the movie. Everything was good. and did not feel like a three-hour movie by the way no and when we got home and opened the door to the bathroom that the pup was set up in i said oh my god it's like the end of hateful eight the dog had well it's tarantino things get a little crazy think about the end yeah that's the dog had managed to shit on itself and roll in it and roll all over the place and all over its bed and all over its everything. And there's this great moment where Lynette's like, come now. It's this weird thing. So it's like midnight. We roll through the door. Lynette's riding a mild margarita buzz. And it's going to be, ah, it's going to be great. And what a night. And it's like all of a sudden, come stat, come through the door. And I'm like, the dog's trying to get out. The dog's covered in shit. Lynette, Lynette. I'm doing this thing with, I'm doing the thing. Take the dog. You put the dog in the shower. You shut the shower door. Then the dog's in the shower. Now we can clean up with the dog in the shower. The dog's covering shit. Lynette's like, he's not going for the shower. He's not going for it. Get over here. Get over here. I go running over there. It's this great moment. Lynette's holding him by the top of the collar. And she goes, careful. The collar's got shit on it. And I'm like, okay. And she's holding the top of the collar. Don't shake. And I go, okay, okay. And I reach, for some reason I decide, okay, she's holding the top. She's saying it has shit on it. I reach under the collar to the bottom where his neck is. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to grab the clean part. Mash my hand into a huge ball of shit. I mean, it's like all over my hand. I'm trying to carry the dog out. It's dragging shit everywhere. The dog's out. I got shit on my hand. I'm holding my hand up like it's on fire. And I'm running around the house with it. She's screaming at me. The shit's smeared all over. You're like Jason Pierre Paul on Fourth of July. Yes. trying to hold back the puke. I'm like, why is my hand? Now it's like, we got to get the dog back in the house. And that's like, I'm showering with the dog. Hose everyone down. Romantic evening. It's like Pulp Fiction. Just hose them down in the yard. There's the shit that goes from the backyard to the thing and the thing. And the poor Lynette's in there scrubbing away. Does Sonny give a shit about the dog? Give a shit. No. Sonny's neither here nor there in Phil. I mean, he likes him okay. You want to watch this video? We'll post it at mcroll.com. It's just the puppy walking into the living room in Natalia. That's so fun. If I got CP3, Georgie, I could have watched a Clippers game. That's okay. You're fine. It's okay. What? What? What is that? Big Bo. Who's that? And Lynette holding the camera landscape. Yeah. Look at us. What were you saying about a CP1? Sonny's just staring at the dog Oh man It made me start crying really good Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Oh man The dog's pawing at her She's down on her knees Why are you crying? Tears of joy? That's pretty sweet We'll post a video on Facebook. Oh, my God. Oh, the dog is exploring the room, snipping everything. Look at that tail. I know. Oh, he's looking at her face. I don't know. What's his name? All right. Now, were you there to see the beginning of that, or were you fixing yourself a cup of Joe? No, I had to stage the dog. Yeah, yeah. Right. You were wrangling. Set the dog gun. I had to set the dog in the hall and sort of push it forward. They never do what you want them to do, but the bow stayed on and the dog walked forward. Those were actually pretty perfect. I circled around through the kitchen to then come out the other direction to see what the hell was going on. Because the tie sat on the ground opening a present or something, sort of looking at Lynette, sort of looking off to the side. And the dog sort of wanders into frame. With long ribbons trailing it. It's pretty great. It's so, by the way, I've said this a million times, and the dog's been, the dog's the greatest dog in the world. It's shitting all over the place, but we'll take care of that. And Natalia loves it. It was worth it for that moment. But the point is this. To all these shitty parents out there, I realize the difference. Brian, we were talking last year. You were saying, I don't know if we were rich or we were poor. I had to ask my parents. I did. Yeah, you did. because when you're eight or nine, all you want to do, all my son wants to do is play catch with a Nerf ball. That's all he wants to do. So is he rich? Is he poor? I don't know. He's got $5 worth of Nerf ball and somebody to throw it back to him. That's about it. That's what he needs. My daughter wants a puppy. My son wants a basketball hoop, and he'll sit out there with that basketball hoop, and it'll be three hours of him just sitting out there shooting around. And she wants a puppy. And, you know, later on, you can, you know, if you want to get a little highfalutin, you can get into a swimming pool. But what separates your kids having a happy childhood versus a miserable childhood is like a Nerf football, a dog and a basketball hoop. Yeah, catch a dad. I don't I don't get it. It's like it's insane. Like, my dad's such a fucking idiot. He should have put a hoop up for his sake. Yeah. He didn't want to do anything that burned a calorie. But on the other hand, he's got me moping around the house all day. If he if he my mom or my dad, no dogs, certainly no swimming pools, but no basketball hoops and no Nerf balls either. If they put a fucking nineteen dollars, go down to big five and just fucking bolt the thing to a tree. I mean, the thing about kids is it doesn't have to be regulation, anything or plexiglass, anything. Just literally just fucking nail something up to the side of a garage. And the kid will sit out there all fucking day. That's how you should have sold it to your mom or your dad back in the day as a little kid. Like, here, $40 investment. I'll leave you alone forever. Do you know what they would have said to him? Do you know how many shrimp deveiners that is? It's like 18 shrimp deveiners. That was their form of currency. That was a comeback, yeah. The idea of just having a dog when you're a kid that can be your friend, that you can take care of, having a basketball hoop, just the little things. Because kids don't know from the fancy cars. They're certainly more than happy to eat a Taco Bell every day. If you think about it, you don't really need money. The kids don't physically need money. They need somebody to throw the Nerf ball back to them and or somebody with just some initiative to fucking hang a basketball hoop up and then they'll go out and stay busy the whole time. Now, are the kids going to have responsibilities with the dog? Trying. Watch mommy and daddy rolling shit. Yeah. No, Natalia feeds the dog, which is good. That's good. But still this morning, I was the one going, why is the dog inside? The dog ate. And the kids are all spread out. I'm like, put the dog, let the dog eat, then put it outside. And the dog doesn't move where it pisses while it jogs in the house. Oh, that's efficient. A little leak, yeah, a little dribble. Yeah, Molly was a girl, so Molly would just sit down and not in the house, but outside the house. Just stop in one place, sort of squat it. Phil's a boy, and Phil jogs and pisses, so you find this long serpentine thing of piss. You're going to have to work it out for you, too. El Nino is starting in the next couple of days. It's going to be random. It's going to be random. A lot. You know, with to put the dog outside and everything, that's going to be a challenge. Snoopy doghouse. All right, we got the news. I should tell everyone State of the Union. Lynette, remind me. We've got to catch everyone up. I wasn't thinking about it because there's not that much to say. There'll be plenty of live shows this year, as there always are. Agenda item one, keep kicking ass. Keep kicking ass. Keep building. Keep growing. Thanks to you guys. I'll be in Westbury, New York, and Peekskill, New York, and Newton, New Jersey. That's coming up January 15th, 16th, and 17th. That's stand-up. But we'll do live shows. Irvine, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland. Taking the show international. I got my passport. Yeah, it's fun. I'm maybe looking to go to Europe this year with the show as well. The Royal We or Wee Wee? Wee Wee Wee. Wee. All of us. That'll be good. And also working about halfway into the next documentary. So you can look forward to that. It's really coming out good. So I'm really excited about that. That'll be called The 24-Hour War. That is based somewhat on the book Go Like Hell. A.J. Bain. Is Bain? I think it's Bain with an M. A good guy. Anyway, wrote Arsenal of Democracy. Really interesting guy. Anyway, it's the Ford versus Ferrari and Battle at Le Mans. And it's kind of interesting because it's funny how the zeitgeist works. Like you go, I want to make a documentary about this story. It was about a year, maybe a year and a half ago. Then all of a sudden I get these, you know, Dateline Hollywood. They're making a Ferrari biopic. And then I get one. Nick Santora sends me one the other day. They're making a Lamborghini biopic. It's like, wow, this stuff has been kind of like I've spent the last few years going, these guys are super interesting dudes. These are super interesting stories. And everyone's like, then you start going down the path and all of a sudden it's like volcano movies. You know what it's like? Dead for years. And then resurrection. But I can imagine those two things help each other. You want to know more. So you check out the other. You check out the other. Yeah. And again, all very interesting stories. Stories. And it's all the execution, as I've always said. Mike August gave me one of these. Don't you hate when people do this? It's like during the break, and I said, I love Tarantino movies. I'm into Tarantino movies. I loved Inglourious Bastards. I loved Django. Satisfying. Yeah, Jackie Brown, not as much, but I liked it. If you consider Jackie Brown the worst of his movies, you're doing pretty well. That's a pretty good movie. His movies make you think afterward. They leave you the feeling of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then Mike did one of these things where he goes, I don't need three hours or a bunch of people locked up in a cabin. And you realize you can take any movie and just distill it down to nothing and then go, and now I don't want to see it. And it's all in the execution. So, you know, Ferrari's interesting. Lamborghini, again, made tractors. Guy made tractors and Ferrari threw him out of his office and they said, I'm going to make sports cars. But that's an interesting story. But again, they can screw it up. You can take an interesting story and fuck it up, or you can take a non-story and turn it into gold. I wish you had Mike August come up with reasons not to see classic movies. I don't need another princess locked in a tower. I was just thinking, Glenn Gehrig and Ross, I don't need to see two hours of gas trying to sell real estate. No, yeah. I guess you don't. I don't need to hear about some doctor in his Zhivago. Well, that's all you do with... That's all you do, right? That's all he had to do. And I was like, it's Tarantino. Come on. And he's like, not interested. And then I said, well, it's that or Star Wars. He's like, no way. Never seen a Star Wars movie there. He has with Star Wars and I get it. He has with Star Wars what I have with lottery tickets, which is I must keep my streak alive. I'm never buying a lottery ticket in this godforsaken piece of shit state that tries to fucking legalize retarded gambling. All right. Where was I? All right, that was the origin story of how the Corollas had Phil join their family. In light of the passing of Phil and the beautiful episode that started out the last week, I thought we'd compile a bunch of clips of Phil and Adam's life to help new listeners who don't have any memory of the dog and for people who are longtime listeners who remember these episodes very well. Adam talked about his first dog, Lotzy, from 1997. What he didn't mention was Billy, one of the guys Adam worked with on the Adam Corolla Project, so one of his builders. I think he was instructed maybe to drop off and pick up Lottie at the vet to be spayed. And he was like freaking out and having a really severe reaction. And this was told on Loveline back in 97 before we ever saw Billy in 2005 on the Out and Corolla Project. It was a really cool bit of history. Like, oh, that guy? Apparently loved dogs. And he was really sad for Adam about Lottie. They didn't really determine what happened. Adam at one point theorized maybe she got into some paint or chemicals. Maybe it was a breeder thing. It was a really sad story. And then Adam had Molly for so many years. so many Molly stories, so much time with Molly, the morning show the twins being born, unfortunately we didn't have Corolla Classics back when Molly passed, otherwise we would have probably created an episode in remembrance of her as well. Coming up next we have Adam Corolla show 1731, Heather McDonald Matt Achity, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop and like the rest of these clips, the guests may or may not be in some of these portions, they're very small chunks just featuring stories about Phil Good day Gina Grad Good day to you. And, Ball Brian. You're ugly. You missed that, Gina. That was Brandon Marshall yesterday. Not talking about you, obviously. Oh, well, even if he was. It's very Marshall. Matt Hatchity, Rotten Tomatoes here. Very glad to be here. Spreading like wildfire. Seen it everywhere now, Rotten Tomatoes. Love just going on there. Satisfying my curiosity. Saw Hateful Eight, or The Hateful Eight. And I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I don't think Brian liked it quite as much. But I said compared to Tarantino movies, but just not compared to movies, right? He sort of said, yeah. Yeah, yeah. In terms of the overall quality of every movie that's released in the course of a year, it's in the top half. It's worth seeing. It's not boring and it's not totally boring and not without merit. I enjoyed it, I think, a bit more. But it is, I think, on Rotten Tomatoes, shaken out to be a little more like what we said, more in the 70s and less in the 90s and less the Inglorious Bastards and Django and a little more Jackie Brown or something like that. I was bummed that I had missed the first seven. So I kind of came into this one cold. The sequels. Part eight. No, I liked it. I thought it was – it's too long. Yeah, it is. You know, my biggest complaint is I don't feel like it in the moment as you're watching it. It's never boring. But you come out of it and I couldn't help but think, like, did this movie really need to be that long? I felt like it didn't earn the right to be that long. I also feel like I don't want to give anything away. But the way the movie is pitched as being and what it ends up being are kind of different things. And I think that that's one of the great tricks that Tarantino does. And for those people that haven't seen it, I'm not going to say anything. But look, the dialogue is great. Great acting. Walton Goggins is amazing in that. I agree. I liked it quite a bit. And my whole thing is, unless Quentin Tarantino comes out with any other movies in that calendar year, it'll usually be in my top five just because it's him, it's his dialogue, and it's his insanity. And again, you get into that thing that you get with Scorsese, you start comparing Casino to Goodfellas. And now we're in trouble. Compare Casino to Casino or the other movie that is in the cineplex. And we're doing pretty good. So I definitely and I also recommend. I don't know why people do this. And it drives me nuts. I know we talk about a lot. Gina, you're leaning in. You got something to say. Well, I was just going to say that while I was watching it, I had Phil Rosenthal's voice going through my head. Because about halfway through, I thought, this is a play. This is a play. I can absolutely see this as a stage play and might enjoy it more in some ways. It's always interesting, though, and all the rules get broken. But he doesn't get his due for being the craftsman that he is when it comes to filming. That stuff looks amazing. But either way, there's no way you can make it through this movie at home. No way. There's just no way. You can't. You have to get up. You have to walk around. You have to use the bathroom. You have to. The phone will ring. There's nothing. There's no three hours that is. And you will. I guarantee it. I would say the over under on hitting the pause is like 2.7 times for your average American in this thing just to get up and head to the kitchen. I can't sit in my office for an hour getting a blowjob without having to walk me and my mistress to the kitchen. Tell me about it. I use a mechanics creeper. So she's uninterrupted. But you don't realize, like, if you just put a nanny cam on your office sofa while you're watching TV and sped it up, you would get up. You don't realize how often you get up to walk over and blah, blah. Or just look at your phone. It just never ends. Or there's some noise that you have to pause it because it's everybody else in the house, shut the hell up. I'm trying to watch this goddamn movie. Yes, I had that this morning. I literally... You can see what it's like at my house. I was asleep, and apparently my wife and daughter were having a panty raid or a pillow fight. I don't know. Just outside of the door. Or a panty fight. And I did this one, which is actually quite a bit more effective than that move where you're laying in bed, and you just do the, would you please shut up? That doesn't... It works, but you don't score any negative points. Right. It's just kind of you screaming from the bed, but that's your impulse. I just got up and walked outside of the room, and I said, I'm sleeping. Could you please be more considerate? And I just turned and walked back in. Oh, that's right. And that's a good, that's where you want to be. I was going to say. That's where you want to be. The pod people got to Adam. That's a good guilt trip you laid down. It's much better than the scream from the bed. Yeah. Because that's just a tie. Meaning we're having a pillow fight out here and you're screaming like a crazed person in there. That's a tie. But please be more considerate. That's a good one. Worked nicely. Very well done. Thank you. Still had to get up to do it. Sure, yeah. How long did that keep the noise down for? Well, the window was, I went to bed late-ish and it was about 7.30-ish. And I was looking forward to a little more of an 8.30-ish wake up. and the kids have to head out about 8-ish for school, and this is more in the 743 department, so I knew all I had to do was buy myself a good 18 minutes, and I could sleep-ish until they went off to school. You don't have time for that-ish. Sonny, not in school. Sonny has a little tummy problem, and it's great. You know, we got Phil the puppy, Phil the Labrador puppy, and Phil listens to no one. I don't even think Phil even follows his heart. He just does what he does. And when you have a puppy, there's a lot of this. I tell you guys all the time, I'm going to keep adding to this list. Get a good bed, get a good flat panel TV, get a good car. I don't mean a Rolls Royce. I just mean a safe car with air conditioning that works very nicely that will actually be safe if you get in an accident but you can drive it to Vegas and back It not going to overheat It be comfortable Do that. Get a good bathrobe and get a good pair of slippers. I got... Let's put on a brand new pair today. I got the high top, like midway, fuzzy, fuzzy line, you know, sweet, sweet ones. But when you get the dog, you run into situations like who took the inner piece for the slipper out of the slipper? And who would take one of my slippers, pull the instep piece out of the slipper? So I'm now riding on the rubber on one side, riding on the fleece on the other side. And then, okay, the dog, this is what the dog did. And then I have no fucking idea in this house where this little strip that's shaped like my foot is. And you never will. And I put the two slippers on, and I just walked in a circle. Like, I literally, I moved, like, if you ever put, like, a Lone Ranger mask on your dog or antlers on your cat or something. Like, you know how they move? Like, they walk sideways for a while, and then they start rubbing against something. Or you put boots on the dog, and it's, like, all paws in the air. I put this slipper. One had just like the rubber sole and the other had like the wool liner in it. And I couldn't move. And I had to go find one. But anyway, I sit in my office on one side of the house. And from the other side of the house, I just hear Sonny yelling, no, Phil, no, Philip, no, bad boy. No, Philip, no. And the dog doesn't. Sonny gets just run over by Phil because Phil weighs as much as Sonny. Sonny has little to no authority in his voice. And poor Sonny. Sonny, in this new house we're in, his mattress is on the floor with his menagerie of stuffies on it, which is all easy fucking pickings. That is low-hanging fruit for Phil. Easy hopping. And Phil comes trotting in there with his big old paws. And he's like, who do I want to eat first, Malibu Marty or Ali Al? And Sonny's throwing his body in front of him like, no, Phil, no. And all that yelling and screaming. And the dog's like, wow, this just got a lot more fun. It's got a lot more interesting. Now the kid's playing with me. I hear no, Phil, no, screamed about 10 times. Sonny, who's a little bout of vomiting and diarrhea, has one of those perfect kid stomach flus on his back. I say to him the other day, the night before, I go, listen, Dr. Drew says when you get dehydrated and you're on the pot all day, you're throwing up or anything, you need some Gatorade or Pedialyte or whatever. So I pour him some Gatorade. Of course, all we have is the red colored Gatorade. When did we need 72,000 flavors of Gatorade? But anyway, I got the red Gatorade. I pour it in a plastic cup, and the next morning I just see Phil trotting down the hall with the Gatorade. He's got the cup. I don't even know how he does it, but the cup is in his mouth. It's not spilled over. It's not turned over. He's holding it upright, and it's in his mouth, and he's just trotting down the hall with it. Like, hey, kid. Like a frat boy. Yeah, all right. Go ahead and protect Malibu Marty. I'll be taking the Gatorade. I'll be rehydrating over here. He got the mail prize. Yeah, and he's just trotting down the hall with it, and it's splashing this red stuff. is leaving this trail of red shit. And at a certain point, of course, it falls out and then goes up the wall with the red thing. So we're going full shining elevator scene here. And it's all over the wall. And I'm doing this move where, you know, Sonny's the worst at cleaning shit up. Like he doesn't know. He just starts padding stuff with a hat and stuff like that. Like he doesn't know what to do or anything. I do my move, which is my quick fix move for everything, which is I show up with a little water bottle and just sort of sprinkle it around like the Pope or something. I'm going to knock it down. I'm blessed this mess. Lynette comes walking in through the garage door like four minutes later to see this weird red soupy pile of stuff. Like, what the fuck? She's not doing the math. The dog's having a period. Are they peeing? What's his blood? What's going on? It's going up the wall. But that's Phil. Okay. So Phil's doing nicely. He's doing the Lord's work. I like the idea that he just torments the shit out of Sonny. Yeah, that's going to be a fun relationship to watch over the next few years. Well, and speaking of which, in the last 48 hours, who shit on the carpet more? Sonny or Phil? Sonny makes it to the sink. Sonny makes it to the toilet. Sonny has the bag and the bucket like next to the bed. He's just the most considerate little guy in the world. All right, this is Adam Krillichow, 1731. Coming up next, we have Adam Krillichow, 1747. Matt Besser, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. More stories to fill. Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you. And Paul Bryan. A churro is nothing but a donut that's here illegally. I've been saying that for three days. You've got so many people on Twitter and elsewhere saying, who is that guy? What's up with that guy? That guy's crazy. They're enraged. Yeah, they thought he was out of line. out of line for spotting his views. It's Donald's opinion, people. Yeah. I read a lot of very positive stuff about Richard Martin. The vast majority was positive. Richard Martin, right. They were incensed that such a man would be let on the air. Yeah. Such extreme views. And how he treats jazz. His wife. All right. We got a Baldy Wood coming up, which is good. I'm interested. Is it Brooklyn? Yep. Best Picture nominee. Also, I can tell you that the only thing I didn't like about my last dog, Molly, was not a water dog. And I got a lab because I wanted that dog in the pool, man. The pool you don't have? There's two things, yes. There's two things I didn't have growing up, which was the dog in the pool. Also, did you guys notice when we were talking to Cliff, a.k.a. Koozie, last week after I was reunited with him, And he said, what I've said, the fucking reason number 128, I want to knee my dad in the fucking old nuts is, he said his dad just put up a basketball hoop like on the garage and he'd just be out there all day. He built it. Yeah, it's, I mean, I could remember as a kid seeing like just a big piece of plywood that was up there and it was, had like a carriage bolt going through and it would be bolted to the fascia off at a little weird angle. And just a basketball hoop, no net. But they'd go down to the big five, the sporting goods store. They'd buy the hoop for $8.99, and then they'd get some plywood and some whatever, and they'd just put it up. It'd just be in the driveway. Not to NCAA specifications, but it'll do for a driveway hoop. Definitely do, and the kid will just stay out there and have a fun summer. That's all it is. Or a dog or many other things that could have been purchased and or received when I was young. For a $28 investment. I wanted a dog, and I wanted a swimming pool, and now I got a dog, and I'm building a swimming pool, and I'm going to get that damn dog to go in it because that dog is climbing into the shower when you're in the shower. Oh, that's a good time. So Phil's a water dog. Phil's a water dog. Phil, it was pouring rain today, and Phil went out in the backyard and was putting his head up trying to drink the water out of the sky. And just plowing. You know, there's always that part of your roof when it rains real hard where it all just comes spilling off at one point. But he just hit that one point and just started hitting it hard. Just digging. Just digging on the rain. Now, who cleaned him up before he was let back inside? Well, Natalia's instructed to do everything, but Natalia doesn't do anything. But she went and got the towel and threw the towel over him and did that cool move where they walk around. I don't know why. Like a horse, you put the whole thing over him. The towel just spills right over it. You can't see their head or the tail. Then they start walking around. It's just a moving towel. The ghost. Nothing more entertaining for the kids than that. On another happy note, saw Sonny at a basketball game last night. You just ran into him? Just ran into him, entry hall. Just like old times. Chatting him up. He's walking around before the game. He's holding a brick. I don't know where he got the brick. Sounds about right for Sonny in basketball. He's holding a brick. And he's throwing it. He's kind of holding it and tossing it to himself. He's walking around in his little basketball uniform. And I said, what's the brick for, Sonny? And he said, Jerry Rice's dad was a Mason. And we saw this story together some months ago on like a 30 for 30 or whatever and football life. And his dad would toss him the bricks. Bricks are quite brittle. They break very easily. No elasticity. And his dad would toss him the bricks. He had to catch it with the soft hands. Like give. Yeah. By the way, the number one gig for the old school dudes who are in the NFL who know their dad is Mason. Important asterisk at the end. Yes, yes. It really is. That's an old. There's a weird thing, but it's an old school black dude thing, which is Mason. Not SoCal. SoCal is Hispanic Mason. Nationwide. Yeah, like in Atlanta, it's a black dude thing. thing. So Sonny realizes the key to success, athletic dominance, is being able to catch a brick. He's having a black father in Atlanta. Right. So he's screwed. Yep. I said, later on, when I'm done with that swimming pool, I'm going to need that brick to toss into Natalia's bikini. Oh, wow. That's right. Because that chick's a handful. He probably shouldn't telegraph that. Maybe not. All right. This is Adam Curlishow, 1747. Coming up next, we have Adam Curlishow, 1759. Jillian Michaels, David Wild, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. We have a caller asking about what she should name her dog and some more Phil stories. Molly, 26, Baltimore. Molly? Hi. What's going on? Nothing. Big fan. Hello, everyone. Thanks. What's going on in Baltimore? I'm a fan of since Love Line. You know, the crime rate's down. Everything's going great. All right. It's like, it's 94 degrees here. It honestly is. Like, we are setting records all over the place. What's it like in Baltimore today? Today it actually warmed up. We had ice this morning, but now it's about 50. Oh, okay. Lovely. You got a question? Yeah, I got a black pug, male, and we don't know what to name him. Well, I'll tell you this. Put up his picture on Twitter and tag everyone if you need a picture. All right. I'm not suggesting you name him Sloppy Seconds. I'm going to give him a Sloppy Seconds name. Okay. When I got Phil, that my daughter named Phil, his original name was Dozer. I then called him Phil Dozer for a while because it made me laugh. I remember the TV movie Kill Dozer. But now Phil Dozer has given away to just Phil. But I like Dozer. What is Dozer? A bulldozer. Yeah, it's sort of the end part of bulldozer. But it's also, I don't know, someone who may nod off at any given time. I like the Doozers on the Fraggle Rock. And I like the name Dozer. I didn't have a pug, but I had a black lab. And Dozer seemed to fit Phil Dozer pretty well. So I'm going to put a vote in for Dozer. Can I make a suggestion? No? I don't know why, but pugs, they're just so little and weird that I always think it's funny when people give them a title like Sir So-and-So or His Highness Blah Blah Blah. But I don't know if that's your style that's too fancy. No, she's going to get her ass kicked. Can I make a suggestion? General. General. How about Justice Scalia? It's an adorable name for a puppy. Molly? Yeah. What were you leaning toward? Cunt bumper. Buck. after Uncle Buck, the movie. Uh-huh. But Dozer's cute. You want to make John Candy's 27th best movie and name your dog after him? I like that movie. That or the Great Outdoors? Yeah, all right. Yeah, Uncle Buck. Dozer the Dozerian. Yeah. You could call it planes, trains, or automobiles. That would be another option. All right, stop talking now. Go with Dozer. Dozer. Dozer's cute because he does fall asleep wherever he wants. Of course he does. There you go. Dozer the Dozerian. All right. Are you going to come to the East Coast anytime soon? Yeah, we're working on it. We're always working on it. I'll continue to work on it. You can get out. How long does it take you to get to New York City? Not that long. I've thought about making it out to one of those shows. Maybe I will. How long is not that long? I think the train's like four hours or something like that. We're not worth it. Tell you, the train's oddly expensive, but you can get a lot done on a train. A lot of downtime. Yeah. All right. Molly, you work on that crime rate, and we'll work on getting out to Baltimore. Jillian Michaels is here, so we'll put you on hold. All right, that's Adam Cooler Show, 1759. Coming up next, we have Adam Carillo Show, episode 2000, with the Try Guys, from 2017. More Phil Stories. Good day, Gina Grant. Good day to you. And Bald Brian. Congratulations, everyone. I want to say this. Things in life creep along. We're getting heavy. And they happen very gradually. And the very gradual part is the part that makes it difficult to wrap your mind around or understand. The person who you see on a daily basis who loses 80 pounds, that's understandable but never jarring. It's that same person you haven't seen since last year. And then you see them like, oh, my God, the weight. What happened? What happened? It's amazing. Oh, great. It just elicits a different response because it's all at once versus the very slow, I've lost four pounds a week for the last 17 weeks, and now here we are. So that never really gets any response because sometimes it gets looking good or whatever, but it doesn't really get, not from the day in and day out, because those people see every day, hard to tell. And it's a human thing. But what we've been able to do here and come to a place and come to a studio, I had to, as I was floating around in my freezing cold pool the other day and looking at Philly Cheesesteak, who does this great move, which is he gets on the side of the pool and looks down at me like, hey, I'm not fucking nuts. I'm not going in there. I have a three IQ, but I'm still not going in there. but he's all jowl when he looks down at me. You don't get that POV of your dog that often, or hopefully if you do, you've used plenty of water-soluble lube that'll come off in the pool. But that dog just looking down, his jowls start surrounding his eye sockets, which is funny when the jowls spill up into the eyes, and he just looks at me. And he does this weird move where he takes one paw and he just puts it out. Not really. He's not sure what he's getting out of it. He's not sure what he's doing. Are we high-fiving? Is he trying to pull me in? I don't have anything he needs. He just does the thing with his paw. Is there a little bit of like, is he okay? Should I check him to make sure he's moving? I wish. There is not. But I was just floating in my freezing cold pool, and I was thinking to myself, you know, you've been able to carve out a life where you have a warehouse, where you've built a studio in your warehouse, you've surrounded yourself with people you want to work with, and you get to go in there every day, and that's your job. And I was thinking, that is insane. That's an insane notion. I mean, look, it's insane enough that you're able to get a job on Spike TV or you get a job on whatever radio station or whatever that is. But the idea that you just get to go to that warehouse you bought to put a couple of cars in back in the day and go sit in your studio and talk into your microphone as a job is pretty outrageous. Now, it's been done incrementally and for so long that it doesn't feel like it would feel if I was just in high school or swinging a hammer or whatever it was my former life was. If I just woke up here, I'd be like, oh, my God, this is insane. And it's important, I think, for everybody to sort of see if you can dunk yourself in the freezing, frigid waters of life every once in a while and think, wait a minute. Here I am. Look at this. I mean, it's so easy to with the kids and the schedule and everything to have everything just kind of pass you by. We're at the you know, we're capable as humans of marveling at, you know, you took me take me in TiVo or DVR. I went from, wait a minute, you can't stop TV. You can't pause a live show. I'm not a god. I'm not a warlock. That's alchemy. We can't do this stuff. How do you do it to, Jesus Christ, I recorded the goddamn playoff game, but didn't do the spillover. I didn't see the fourth quarter. I didn't see the last three minutes of the fourth quarter. Now I'm ripped shit. That's what we're able to do as human beings. From the, oh my God, I could have traded a five-year-old DVR to Elvis for his house in 1975. Possibly two of them. Possibly two of them. Yes. And a couple of his lady friends. But now I'm yelling at mine because it wasn't smart enough or I wasn't smart enough to hit the extend and record the rest of the fourth quarter of the football game. So that's where we're at. And I am going to tell you right now that I do appreciate this, that I do think about this, that I realize that it can't be done without you guys, and it can't be done without the sharing. I took Philly cheesesteak for a walk on Friday night when everybody was somewhere other than home. And I just called the guy, Matt, from Chicago, who had lost his dad and his sister in the plane crash. And we had nice chat. And he's 24. And, my God, I mean, you know, talking to him about his tool room. And him and his dad had his tool room. And they had the tool room in the basement. And I was asking what he had. And he did this part where he said, we have a bandsaw. There's a bandsaw, but we we have to put it. I have to put it together. It's still in the box. I think I sort of realized, oh, he got that while his dad was around and they had planned on putting it together and using it. But we had a very nice conversation and a lot to him that you called. Well, it meant a lot to me because I saying our fans, he said, oh, we saw you in Chicago and we saw you doing stand up and we saw you doing live podcasts. I took my dad. My dad took me, whatever it is. That's why we're here. And we never lose sight of that. So I want to thank all of you for listening for all these years and being a part of these 2000 episodes. So I appreciate it. And now we'll move forward with our 2000th episode. Let's see. We got our Rich Banks song, Gary. Brian has it. I do. All right. I have not heard it. I have not either. Let's check it out. Just give it a listen. This could be the beginning of something great, or it could be a painful, humiliating 20 minutes. Let me tell you about it. First off, I've got to say this. I'm nervous. I don't know why, but I've never done this before. Jimmy Kimmel, Pets on plane, Adam's magic, crystal brain, back up, beepers, Brian's cancer, lazy hippie mom. Seth MacFarlane, Gavin Newsom, asshole, Pat and Troller, Sue and Brian, Cranston, Brian Bishop, both spelled with a Y. We'll be right back. Blowing. Overpower makes you sick. Fifty years we'll all be chicks. Max or Batta half-target jerking on a flight. Fitz Dog Dr. Spaz Richard Martin and Y. Jazz Larry Miller's road trips occupy Wall Street. K-Rock Road Hot Newman's got a winning dock. Fondalier is dropping turds. Holland Williams doing birds. Dry Sir Weak in Rage Podcast on a cruise ship. Endless rent IPA Tournament of Rosen. Eastern 2000 Podcast. He's called Brands. Wow. Keep complaining, anger never waning. He's the 2000 Podcast. There's going to be ten more verses. He'll keep on going because his heart is blowing. T-Vo Gay, Marty Lang, August looks like Katie Lang. Rich Banks, Gina's tits, who the fuck sells this shit? Gary Ghost, Dr. Drew, David Wildball Jew. Lackey stole his micro brew. Elliot Gould interview. My God. Sonny Bono Yoko Beastie Boys Holla Notes Huelhauser Mike Rowe Mayor via Retardo Dawson President B Made of peanut allergies Retards at the Huff Oh Kevin Smith's an asshole He's the 2000 Podcast Wow And you'll keep complaining If you're never waiting He's the 2000 Podcast And you'll keep on going Cause it's hard He's blowing I hope it goes another hour. Yeah, me too. He's the 2000 Podcast And he'll keep on going Cause his heart is blowing Tabletor, Bambu, Su Definitely not a Jew Rich man, poor man, Bollywood Kalen, taxes, fair share Jeff Ross, Rose, Eisen and the Don't Post Guinness record from Gervais Celebrity apprentice Made up movie, favorite tweets Red bracelet for eating beats Do his best, not your best Window of negligence He sold out Seattle's Moor Mangrias in your liquor store What can he complain about? Mama's chanting freak out. He's the 2000 Podcast. And he'll keep complaining and you're never waiting. He's the 2000 Podcast. And if the mics were gone, he'd still get it on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Yeah, Rich Banks with, I'm guessing, an assist from Mike Lynch. That is their opus. That was amazing. Absolutely amazing. We should play that on stage in Fresno. Oh, that's fun. People would love that. That bears repeated listening. There's a lot. I need to unpack that song. Yeah. I agree, and we'll pack it with us, make an unpack, and bring it with us to Fresno. By the way, that'll be Saturday. Tower Theater, come on out and say hi. Let's see. I will tell you. Where do we go from there? I don't know. Downhill. All right. This is Adam McCullough Show Episode 2000 Coming up next we have Adam Carlosho 2148 also from 2017 more phil anecdotes philly cheesesteak check it out a man with more grit than halva adam carolla oh that a good joke too yeah man halva is gritty more grit than halva Mike Lynch has had some time to write some openings lately. Because we always tell when he's pressed, he puts a song lyric in, right? A man who won't be fooled again. Ramblin' man. Whatever song's playing. Gypsy Queen from New Orleans. Yeah, all he's doing is driving to his next appointment in Lowell, and whatever song comes on, he just writes down. Ding! This will be a stream of consciousness soon. Take a ride on First Street. Hot and curl. Sorry I messed that one up. Well, take another shot at it. And now, a man with more grit than halva, Adam Carolla. Yeah. The Jews are like, we haven't punished ourselves enough. We need to invent a dessert that's sand-based. Yep. There's so many ones that are custard-based and nougat-based, but we want that's sand-based. Yeah. A little taste of the desert in your mouth. You know that thing when you fall asleep with your mouth open and it's windy and dry? a dessert that tastes like that with just a little silica sand sprinkled on top. It's a drop of honey. Good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you. And, bald Brian. The other Brian from the other shop and the duo, will Andrew and Brian eat it now that Andrew's gone back to the Massachusetts area with one man holding down the fort, and that's Brian with a Y. Is that true? Brian with a Y. No, Brian with an I. Oh, that's Brian with an I. Who's the other Brian with a Y that I... Brian Cranston, your best friend? You get Brian to the airport too all the time? That must be the other one, yeah. I thought it was with a Y. I'm trying to think of who else had the Y in there, but maybe I was laughing about Cranston. Anyway, good. It's glad that you guys don't share the same spelling. Share the same spelling. All right, so Brian is here now. Brian is equally as... No, no one's as picky as Andrew was, but he's erratic. So he's a rogue. He's like a CIA agent gone rogue, and now he's in deep culinary cover. You don't know where he's going with his food. And don't you think what he lacks in finickiness he makes up for in anger? He's angry at the food. I just experienced him cracking a, I believe in my refrigerator at the other shop, there was a ginger ale. Yeah, it was a Jamaican ginger ale. Which had actual ginger in it. Oh, I didn't see that coming. So he cracked that bad boy and then announced pretty quickly, not a fan. Oh, you did see that. That's how I get rich, by the way. Buy ginger ales. People take one hit off them and go, not a fan. Artisanal ginger ale. Yeah, yeah, no, the expensive stuff. That's how I get rich. Yeah, yeah, no. If I was just getting the Canada Dry stuff, it'd take me years to amass this empire. No, I have to get the high-end, top-shelf ginger ale and then have guys crack it and hand it off to people. Did anyone drink that? Sam drank it, and then Jacob drank mine. All right, so he finished it. Yeah. So my wiring is this. I walked into the lunch area while everyone was eating lunch. Brian announced that he's not a fan of my ginger ale, and I have zero problems with that as long as somebody in that table drinks it. If that thing's going down the drain, then I'm pissed. No, if it was going to no one, I would have just finished it. Oh, really? Oh, I like that. I don't want to waste food. No, I'm with you. I just don't necessarily like it all. I have the thought, I have this insane thing, but it's, again, it's just, it's where you come from can make almost anything seem insane. Like, when I sit around and I'm having these discussions slash arguments with my daughter about, look, just have Starbucks deliver the stuff. Just deliver it. I'm going to get in the pool. I'm like, no, no. And she's like, why not? Why wouldn't you have Starbucks just deliver? They deliver. And I'm like, because it's the middle of the week and the middle of the day and you don't have Starbucks. And my point of view is this is insane. I can't believe this is where we're at. I'm not going to be this person. Her thing is what the fuck is wrong with you, old man? We have a problem. Starbucks closed at 8 p.m. It's 730. And I want to go night swimming, but I want a shake from Starbucks. So this will solve that problem. Why are you breaking down in front of me? So I realize that's how I am. And when somebody cracks a beer or soda and God forbid, like the $4 smoothie and they take two hits off it and then just leave it on the counter to sweat out and die and they just leave. It's insane to me like that. the notion of ordering a malt or milkshake or something and not pulling the cap off and working the bottom spittle with the, with the using, using the, uh, using the straw, like a monkey attacks an anthill when he holds the thing and lets the ants crawl up the stick. And then he puts a stick in his mouth. That's what I do. I'm like a monkey on an anthill with that straw because I I can't have the notion of a drop of this going into the garbage seems insane. And when I see people buying shakes and smoothies and IPA beers and stuff and just taking like a hit or draw and then like setting it down and moving on, drives me insane. Is that a poor person thing, Brian? Yeah. Did you grow poor? No, I grew up fine, but I just learned to not waste. It's ugly, right? It's always fine. Someone else to take it. I just handed Chris Maxapata. What was our last exchange, Maxapata, 10 minutes ago? You brought in a thing of green beans and you just said, where's Maxapata? And I walk out and he said, here's some green beans. And I took them and I put them in my bag. That's how we worked. He's my goat. I don't want to waste anything. And I had green beans at the other shop and there's no way anyone over there is eating green beans. I think this instinct can be instilled via poorness and also via teaching because I was fairly middle of class. But my grandpa would make us – he put out the ice cream, right, when he babysat us. He's like, you can have as much as you want, but finish whatever you take. And to a young, fat, bald Brian, like balding Brian, that was music to my ears. So there was none wasted. Right. He was like, have as much as you want. Just don't waste a drop. Eat which take. Can't do, gramps. I wonder how you would do in certain parts of Asia because it's considered rude to clean your whole plate because that means that the chef didn't provide enough food for you. Italy was the same way. So they know you had just enough and they did their job. I would not do well in certain parts of Asia for a multitude of reasons. Hitting your head in every doorway. Thoughts about certain people from certain parts of Asia that are very pronounced and very strong. I not only finish my plate, but when I'm done with my plate, I call in Philly cheesesteak. I set the plate on the ground and Phil laps it all up. Now, there was a problem because Phil had another seizure. So he's had two seizures in like six weeks. Is it heat related? It's very hot. No, it's middle of the night with the air conditioning running and he just wakes up in the middle of the night. And it's always this thing. the good news is it's gotten me to wear shorts to bed because i'm tired of nude frantic activities at 4 30 in the morning because there's a party that wants to tend to fill and another party wants to cover your junk up boy is life changed for you you're not looking forward to nude frantic activities it's just weird to be in weird hunched over paramedic mode with your ball sack swinging against phil's head while he lays there like he's foaming from the mouth and i'm teabagging him i I just said, I'm going to throw some shorts on before I go to bed. So what's up? I don't know what's up, but he's had his second seizure, and he lays on his side. A lot of people have a lot of pets that have seizures, and that's fine. And if you have a lap dog, it's a nightmare. But when you have a 110-pound dog, it's potentially destructive. Like Phil's falling over. His legs are moving as fast as he can. His mouth is foaming. And of course, Lynette, who's always the voice of reason, is screaming, oh my God, we're all going to die. Like over and over. Did you make the best hostage negotiated? Yeah. Literally. Crisis counselor. Here comes Lynette Hurricane Harvey. Just give him a towel. Yeah. Actually, that piece of advice would be very helpful. Yeah. Her first, yeah, she'd be great with hostage. She'd be like, first things first. I know you wanted the meat lovers pizza. Deliver it. I ordered the veggie lovers and I ate it. All right, that's the first thing. Number two, we're all going to die. That's what I've been saying since the guy with the gun. Finally, what was the sense? Phil is running frantically and panting in some sort of fugue state and foam's coming out of his mouth. I have Lynette's going nuts. I have the dual thought of Lynette's going nuts. The dog may be dying, but if he's going to die, let's not die on the carpet with the foam in the mouth. Let's hit the tile. Much easier to whack up. And then also the teabagging problem. Right. So. Right in the eyes. Phil had another. Phil had another. Phil had another seizure. And then the other night. So the other night. I got I got Olga the nanny to make chicken paprikash, which is my grandfather's best dish. And it's nothing better than the creamy sauce. And you ladle it over the whatever. And I took the potatoes home that I announced to James at the other shop. Would you like some potatoes, James? And he announced he does not like baked potatoes. So I then took the bake, which I did not know was an option. Brian's nodding solemnly. I did not know. Am I nodding? I thought I was just staring into space. You can't nod. Poker face. So I brought the potato home and I was ladling the chicken paprikash over the potato. and when I was done, I do what I always do, which is I set the plate down for Philly cheesesteak to lick off. But Lynette, who now has a degree in veterinarian science, screamed, no! I said, why not? She said, because he had the chicken paprikash tonight. He had the seizure. And then I do what I always do, and I go, all right, now we got to find a virgin, and we got to throw her in a volcano to stop all the rain in Houston. You know what I mean? Because, well, obviously there's a correlation between... You're following the logic. Yeah, let's be smart about this life here. But it's really hard to argue with somebody whose dog did finish off the chicken paprikash and then did have a seizure at four in the morning. It's hard to tell that person, nah, I think they need more chicken paprikash. That's what the doctor ordered. So that's tough. Fool me once. Yeah, so I had to lift the plate up. But between Maxapata at the job and Phil at home, it's like being followed around. You got a lot of clean plates, man. Yeah, it's like somebody bred a goat with a pelican and then just sort of mashed it up with a garbage disposal and then got it super high and then just had it follow you around. And you can just throw shrimp tails and bits and gristle and bones and stuff just over your shoulder and just gobble it up. Yeah, I don't know what Phil's doing here. He's in my territory. Oh, yeah. That's true. Yeah. Phil's funny. Phil's favorite spot in my house and here is splayed out in a very high traffic zone. He likes to find the corridor that leads where everyone's walking back and forth. And then he plops right there. Save for Chris. And I'm assuming it's to be petted, right? He likes to be where the humans are. Everyone stops. Well, it's like the guy who's rattling the can and playing the acoustic guitar has to find the crowded subway where everyone walks down to the subway. But you can't go in the desert. You don't get any change. People stop and pet Phil as they walk past him. And that's why he doesn't go to the back. Sure. There's other cool areas he could go. Right. Let me ask you a question. Is his head able to point toward the main exit or entrance to the house at any time from where he is? He does like to lay in the middle of the entry hall with his head pointed at the door. He does two moves. He does a tour the move and a wave the move. He likes to be around the front door and is also in the high traffic area. He's protecting you guys. Wow. In his own way. He's got to protect me from the full workup, including puppy cat scan, ironically, that he's going to need to get with the blood test and everything else when Dr. Drew gets hold of Lynette with the whole seizure situation. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That's Adam Curlishow 2148. Coming up next, we have Adam Curlishow 2263. Mark Gargas, Gina Grad, Brian Bishop from 2018. I had a, you know how I don't need much to go or know about a person to know if I like them or can hang with them or whatever with them. I, you pick up an indicators. Yeah. Indicators. And speaking of indicators, I'll talk about turn indicators. I, today, today I was, I was driving the street that I used to get to the freeway is a T. My street goes along. that's the top of the T and then the base of the T sort of runs into it and I turn left. Okay. Today, there was a lady coming my direction, the other direction on the top of the T coming toward me and we're both going to hit the base T at the same time. And there was also a woman like crossing the street or something at the same area, T intersection. And I put my left turn signal on because I want them to know that this is my plan. I feel like it's going to factor into their plans. Yeah, help clear out. And I also want the woman who's crossing the street knowing that I'm tending on turning her direction and blah, blah, blah. The person that was coming my direction didn't do anything. And here's the thing about not signaling and the problem with not signaling. Not signaling doesn't mean nothing. It means you're going straight, bitch. That's the whole thing. I wish it just meant nothing. I wish I was going, hey, I don't know if that person's turning right here or not. I will toss a coin. No, in this responsible driver's eyes, it means you are going straight while I'm turning left. Except for at the last moment, you turn right in front of me down the same street, which is fine. It's just it'd be nice. Absolutely. And then later on, we get to the signal and I sit behind you and I'm going straight to get on the freeway. And I assume you're going straight as well because there's nothing you're doing to indicate anything other than this. And then at some point, the signal changes and you move forward, stop to turn left. And I just think that's the one. What is it and why is it? And then how come it's neither here nor there? Like it's just never out of it. It's never. And all the freeway signs with all the useless information on there. And think about. Think about the fact that on my way home the other day, the freeway was all jacked up because somebody got no fender bender and whatever. It was pulled off by the side, but they had the paramedics and blah, blah, blah. And think about all the congestion, all the traffic and all the needless injuries and property damage and possibly lives lost because on the freeway, somebody neglected to signal before they started changing a lane. I would imagine if you could say so, if you went and said to whomever who's running the signs, the electronic signs, what percentage of people pass under these signs with their seatbelt off and then are called to action to put the seatbelt on? Like, OK, who who doesn't? It's my land of the lost theory, which is there are two groups. There's two groups in Los Angeles. They're the 92 percent who put the seatbelt on because it's simply what we do. And also, I will have an epileptic seizure if I drive my car with my seatbelt off because the constant bong and chime and flashing light. My 110-pound Philly cheesesteak the other day decided when I was driving to work, he decided the backseat was no good for him anymore. He decided he wanted to head up into the front seat. So he walked across the console and he set himself down in the passenger seat. And then he just sat there. And the bongs, the chimes started going off. That is a smallest human there. Now I'm driving, trying to figure out a way to get the belt. Here's how committed I am to avoiding this sound. I now have pulled the belt with my right hand, and I'm pulling it back. It feels fat ass is blocking the female side of the belt, the receptacle. So I'm trying to shove his fat ass over and get it buckled in. It's weird. It's a weird angle to go at it because I'm going straight across. I'm not bowing. I'm not buckling. No English on that thing. I'm going straight across. So I'm belting, I'm putting this belt on. So here's how effective the automobile is. In a world where I don't care and I'm like, I'm the guy, by the way, I'm the guy who's in, you know, when Dr. Drew and I were traveling many years ago and at like 3 a.m. the fire alarm in the hotel went off and everyone filed out under the lawn of the hotel. Everyone just had like a bathrobe or a towel on or sweatpants on. And they just all were, everyone just exited the hotel. It was standing at the lawn. On the lawn, I was looking out my window at all of them just going, suckers, suckers. Because they had a prom at the same hotel. And I was like coming back from the gig. And I noticed a lot of young troublemakers like running around with Mickey's big mouth in their system. And I was like, some guy, you know, 245, some drunk kid pulled the alarm. But I also said, I remember thinking, and this is my entire approach to life. I remember thinking, well, everyone else thinks it's a fire or at least is doing what they're supposed to do. I'm not because I think they're suckers for going out there. It's cold and I'm in my underpants and I don't feel like getting dressed and going out there. And I bet in 10 minutes they're all going to turn around and come back in. But if I have to throw this chair through this window and jump out, I'm on the second floor. Like, I'm going to break a bone, but I'm not going to die in this hotel if there's a fire. So anyway, it's a fair exchange. I ignore stuff all the time, but I cannot ignore my car. Yeah, because it won't allow it. It won't. It will not allow it. So the so the populace of Los Angeles can be breaking and broken down into two groups. people who do wear their seatbelt, which is everyone, and then a small percentage of people who have just chosen not to do it. No amount of convincing. They have either gotten themselves the female, I'm sorry, the male end of the buckle just to snap into their thing, like you can just get it and snap it in so it doesn't go off, or they're ignoring the pinball machine that is their dashboard that is tilting when they're driving, whatever it is. Or the car so old it's not built in with the ding, ding, ding, which you probably do see a few of in this town. A couple of those in LA. There's a couple in this town, probably should be written in Spanish. Hey, how do you do click it or ticket in Spanish? Because it never rhymes, that's the problem. But God's honest, if there's someone driving around this town and their truck or car is so old that they don't have the light going off. Although Preet, that bong is like the placard on the front or the light up thing and the bong, I think, is from like 1974 or something. It's really old. But if there is somebody in Los Angeles that's driving around a pickup truck from 1971 and has no idea about this thing known as the seatbelt, that person definitely speaks some Spanish. may not be their first language, but I definitely understand Spanish. Yeah. Definitely. Can't get by. Put that goddamn sign in Spanish. You would affect, you honestly, God's honest, if you love the brown people and were looking for the sliver of folks that aren't yet hip to the seatbelt, you would get a much better return on your investment in Spanish. A much more efficient use of that sign. Absolutely. And people go, oh, don't be racist. I don't know. Do you want to save the guys and put a seatbelt on or not? You get much more bang for your buck in this town if that was written in Spanish. Do you have what click it or tick? No, wait, tick, click it or tick it is in Spanish. It's not going to sound good. It's not going to rhyme. OK, that's Ozzy. Click. So how about signal to save lives or signal on a lane change? How about a general overall attempt to get the populace of Los Angeles to signal? To embrace the signal. And then we could avoid many accidents, lots of injury, life loss, and property damage, and then the holdups that come from the accident taking up the three lanes and the bottleneck and everything else. Why not just the simple task? I think that's a lie. I think you hit it on the head. It's too simple. It's something everyone can agree on, and it would work. So, of course, we're not going to do it. Oh, it's abrochado o multado. Click it or tick it. No, Brian. Yeah. That's not sick. They all kind of rhyme all Spanish. Wow. How dare you? Come on. All right. Keep that in? Yeah. We'll edit that out, actually. Why? All right. Coming up for our last clip of the day, we have Adam Corillo Show 2311. It's featuring Paul Rodriguez, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop, also from 2018. Check it out. Oh, good day, Gina Grad. Good day to you. And bald, Brian. Hey, now. I notice, you know, with these AirBud earbud things, they put in here, no one knows you're on the phone anymore. You just walk down the street, had a guy pull over. I'm from Canada, eh? Want to come by and look at the cars? And then the other woman who explained to me that Phil is constantly walking around their house because he walks out of the gate because they leave the gate open. And then Phil makes his way out and then they go get Phil. I think people, they all like Phil. So they chill with him a little bit and then we go get him back. I don't know. I always feel like a bad owner, but it's the other guy's fault. I mean, it's the guys at the other shop. They got to shut that gate, right? He's the mayor. He's the mayor. Survey his land. he's talking about who's direct alright that's Adam Carolla Show 2311 this is just a small assortment of really hilarious Phil stories and anecdotes throughout the years the entire Carolla family really loved that dog and you could tell with Adam's reaction at the beginning of the week rest in peace Phil, Mahalo and get it on Bye.