AJ Marroquin Wants to Throw Someone

Wave Are you squatting? No, I'm not doing anything I got a trainer recently And he was like, what's your fitness goal? And I was like, I want to be able to throw someone so hard I kill them Joking I'm not going to do it Because I want to lighten the mood I'm so uncomfortable at the gym So I said that, and he, without even smiling, goes We can get you there Are we recording? Well, turn it off. I don't want to talk to this. Sorry. Sorry. AJ, I'm sorry. Don't apologize to me. Apologize to my wife and my kids. They're outside listening to this. They're sitting out there cold. They're not allowed in. Hungry. How are you, babe? I am tired, but I'm here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm feeling dry, too. Dry? Yeah. Oh, well, the money looks so wet. I walked into it. Yeah, you set me up for that one. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I love your new neck tattoos. Thank you so much. They're looking really good. They're fresh. My friend Angel did them. I will say I've had someone approach me and say that the tattoos make it look like I'm into like pee pee stuff. Really? Yeah. Which I didn't think was a thing. Most of your tattoos do give up. I think it's a combination of like bald and beard and these earrings. I was about to say that. It looks like I'm about to like. It's. Yeah. The sound really upset me. The sound is like it's like when you close a door that has like rubber around the. Yeah. It's. Don't say rubber. It's bald eyebrows, beard, glasses, tattoos. The whole thing is giving you can piss on this guy. That's why I'm trying to like offset it by wearing like Uniqlo. Yeah. a button down shirt kind of says like well hold on i have a job yeah piss can come later most most gay guys with like powerful office jobs are in the kink community i feel oh or is it most guys in the kink community end up with powerful office jobs well office jobs are a type of sadism yeah they are i think people who are absolutely like you're in it for the pain and i think it's like more often than not i have like have friends that do a lot of sex work and they've talked about like, oh, like their clients are like big time lawyers who like they're verbally dominant in their day to day life and they want to go find someone who will just step all over their balls. Yeah. And spend their money. That's really interesting. Yeah. I'm verbally dominant in my day to day life and, um, you know, and no one's allowed to talk to me like that. I don't relate to that. I'm I've you hear this all the time. It was like the whole concept of baby girl or whatever. Yeah. Where it's like, she's tired of being the boss at work. She wants to be smacked or whatever. I'm like, not me. no thanks I like carry it through actually I agree I am a very verbally dominant person I also appreciate the smack of it all but I don't want at some point like you're smacking too hard yeah like a step back who the fuck do you think you're talking to it's been coming up a lot on the podcast yeah there's an interesting thing where this podcast where like things will just come up in chunks for weeks at a time for like several months it was the trolley problem that kept coming up and it wasn't like I was always bringing it up or maybe I was I guess I don't know but now it's kind of like whether or not people are allowed to hit me during sex. And the answer is no, you're not allowed to be mean to me in any context ever. What about being verbal? Like being verbally mean to me or like aggressive? No, unless it's like cute. And you can be like a little, like I know you can't really be mean to me. You can't degrade me. You can't hit me ever. I'm not interested in it. What do you do then? It's a tough program. Mostly you could like praise me. you can praise me, you can kiss me oh my god praise me and kiss me are like two big things do you verbally degrade people? absolutely not a lot of thinking with that one right into it we start off the episode with verbal degradation well so many of them want it, like you want it I did, yeah I'm about to bust oh I can see it, it's horrific because we're trying to do a podcast I know, I know it's like a lovely room, it's so bright and colorful I'm like yeah, so people want to get their dick stepped on like immediately tell me about yourself you're from kansas i'm from kansas um southwest kansas garden city go buffs whoop whoop um the podcast is actually like affecting you i've never seen you act like that i know i've never i've never seen you go whoop whoop um giddy yeah i'm around another midwest diva that's how i get yeah you actually make me i i giggle quite a bit around you we did lunch the other day and you i was like starting to smile at the beginning of your story and it pissed you off immediately you were like what's going on what are you doing with your face and i'm like i'm smiling because i'm having a good time well you're very devilish and so what happened was i think i was telling us i was telling a story that i really wanted you to focus on you started to go you started to smile me at me like that stephanie mcmahon meme where she's like and i was like aj and you're like i'm just enjoying your company i what and i was just genuinely enjoying your company and then you it happened a second time i started smiling a little bit you're like what what are you doing you're not usually nice to me so yeah i'm feeling very deeply here the pillows are soft the fireplace is cute i'm enjoying myself all right can you continue to talk about me again i want to okay so yeah kansas uh lived in kansas city for a while then chicago for a long time which is where we met by the way where we met in chicago That's your beard hair We met in Chicago Do you remember how we met? Um, no Wow I'm sure it was like at the hideout or something I was probably smoking a cigarette outside Or something and you saw me To not even try to remember how we met before coming on the show I know, it's terrible isn't it? Yeah I remembered I did not like you Is that true? No, uh-ish, kind of That's really interesting Not that I didn't like you all the way I just had doubts about you because you were just such like, you were such a positive like person. And you seemed, I know what's happened. Like, you know, when someone's like, even you started the podcast, you're like, Hey, like, how, how are you doing? I'm like, I'm tired. Yeah. Like at that point, I'd be like, how are you? Like, I'm having a great day. And I was like, I'll fucking kill you. So you didn't like me. Yeah. A little bit positive. It kind of, kind of irked me out in a weird way. What? I mean, that's obviously like a very specific you problem that we, I hope we've worked on. but was there anything else I was doing to make you not like me? Was there anything else about me that was rubbing you the wrong way? No, I think I was just kind of a huge bitch and you were really nice. That can't be all. There had to be something else going on. No, not much. I mean, I totally acknowledge. It was very positive. I totally acknowledge that you're a huge bitch and I'm an angel. Yeah, thank you. The energy was very like co-worker who was like, hey, happy Friday, Junior. and I'm like so you thought I was a cornball you thought I was a cornball you thought I was a cornball that's what it gets down to it wasn't just that I was sweet you thought I was a cornball yeah and those things kind of interlocked and now it's completely different you don't think I'm sweet anymore? sure when you want to be you don't think I'm sweet anymore no it is I will say I was definitely in like I think when I moved to Chicago was like the first time Well number one I was like 22 And it was the first time I had ever felt like My life was exciting Like I was like oh my god Life is so exciting I moved to a big city I had lived in New York for like six months for an internship But I was like living in a big city On my own I was very excited It was very easy to get me in a good mood And you didn't like that Yeah you were like this is my city Kind of energy And it was And it still fucking is I still have my flag planted in Chicago How did we meet? Oh I don't know You gotta remember shit like that I'm sure I thought you were a negative annoying bitch And I was I was like this Eeyore character chain smoking cigarettes Out front of the hideout Smoking cigarettes back to back to back No I loved you I love alternative people Ouch Alternative people Yeah I'm sure you met me at a very I had a blood capsule in my mouth kind of comedy vibe during that time. Yeah. At any point, I was ready to bleed from the mouth and do something crazy. That's what everyone was doing at the hideout. It was a huge time for blood capsules. I felt stupid at the hideout at that time. I actually did feel a little insecure at the hideout at that time because I never had a prosthetic vagina on stage. I was doing PowerPoints. I was doing PowerPoints about my love life, and other people were like, all right, this next comedian, they're so, so exciting. They're one of the best comics doing it right now. And then they'd come up and writhe around and fake shit for 30 minutes. Yeah. And kill. And I was like, God, I wish I had that level of freedom. You went out there with a very thoughtful PowerPoint presentation. Stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a student council kid. Friday Junior. Yeah. I would do my Friday Junior routine. Which also the PowerPoint comedy at that point was just, it was all over. Ubiquitous. Yeah. Ubiquitous. I really feel that when they write this chapter of the comedy history books, they need to give a lot of credit to the Chicago comics that were there when we were there. because a lot of the shit that's like happening now is a direct result of what was going on in the Chicago scene. And I'm not talking about my stuff. I'm talking about the people that I was around. But a lot of the stuff that's popular now is a direct result of like the 2015 to 2020 Chicago comedy scene. Yeah, I agree. You know? There's a lot of processing through that. I also remember too, Chicago doing comedy there was like the first time I, because I started, I did comedy in Kansas City for a little bit by the NASCAR Speedway. And they'd bring you on stage and be like, up next we have a gay comedian. Well, it's like, well, yeah, don't be gay. If you don't want them to say that crowd has eyes and ears, they're going to find out about 30 seconds, but it was just really funny. Like you'd be about to walk on and you're a gay comedian. It's like, well, yeah, yeah. There's my whole set. Yeah. Fuck. What do I talk about now? Yeah. Yeah. It was. And so to go from that to Chicago where it's like, you know, Sarah is coming out of like a giant cardboard butthole, you know, she's like being rebirthed on stage. and I'm like no one gives a fuck about that yeah it's Sarah coming out of like a prosthetic vagina on stage and then Meg Stalter's in the back like strangling an audience member yeah it was like a fun it was a fun era good time why did you move to Chicago from Kansas City? oh I had just been in Kansas City for a long time and I went to visit Chicago for the first time and it was my first time ever kind of being like in a real like gay club gay like neighborhood I was in Boys Town and I just remember being like oh my god there's like more than five gay people yeah and this is like what i wanted that whole time and they're all at berlin and they're all at berlin oh r.i.p love berlin oh my god i do remember i walked into berlin we went to sharon needles had just won drag race this one's actually um sharon needles had just won drag race we walked into spin nightclub and i was wearing the most horrendous outfit i'll have to find you a picture for it it's like i'm wearing like a mesh tank top another jacket i'm wearing like enough hot topic necklaces like chained together it was like weighing me down. I had a faux hawk. Yeah. I got to bead up to this fucking sun. Not got to bead to the gods. Oh my god. And I'm not saying that that's what made me bald. But I'm not. Yeah. It was actually a lot of poor health issues that made me bald. Anyway, we won't cross that. But went to go see that show. Went to Berlin. Stayed out until like 4 o'clock in the morning. Ate a huge baked pancake at this place called Clark's Diner across the street. And I was like, I want this combination in my life forever. Forever. Yeah. And then went back home to KC. Packed my shit up. And probably moved out there like maybe four or five months later. Yeah. Yeah. I've had simultaneously some of the hottest makeouts of my life at Berlin and also some of the most annoying interactions I think I have ever had in my entire. It was like every time I went to Berlin, it was like, I'm going to have the best and worst moments of my life tonight. Yes. Like I'm going to bump into some gay guy that I do not want to speak with and get cornered by him. It was me. I bumped into you at Berlin one time. I always loved seeing you. You're not going to get me to come against you. You didn't like me. I liked you. I immediately liked you. I was like, I love this guy. And I'm trying to sow discord. I'm like, you threw coffee at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hated me too. No, girl, I loved you. Yeah. I loved you the whole time. Oh, my God. Yeah, it was such a, God, I fucking love Berlin. What happened there? I have no fucking clue. I don't know what happened there. No idea. I remember, I do remember the one thing that sold me on it, though, is I was watching Kim Chi, who's, you know, since been on Drag Race, did, I drove all night by Celine Dion, dressed like Princess Peach, holding like a wee steering wheel. and was pulling like old banana peels out of her bra and like dropping them on the stage to sound. And that was the first time I'd ever been like, oh my God, this is what art is. You could just do that. Yeah. And I was like enamored by that. I'd say most drag performances I watch, oh, you can just do that is the feeling. Yeah. But mine's with a question mark. You can do that? You can do that. I know. I did see someone at Berlin one time do a performance where they had, I think they had meant to like completely douche themselves and then shoot glittery water out of their ass. And then mid-performance, just a huge piece of shit came out of them. And at that point, that's when I had to move on. Sorry, where do we go from here? Yeah, that was a really upsetting story. I know, I'm so sorry. That was a really upsetting story. But, you know, queer art. Support queer art. Support queer art. Support queer art. Protect the dolls. Protect them. Protect them. For real. I'd pull out a knife. Protect the dolls. AJ, okay, I have a question for you. Sure. You've traveled so much. Yes. You're running from something. You always say that. I've been accusing you for years of running from something. I still don't fully know what it is that you're running from. Me neither. But it's my opinion that you're on the run from something, either an entity or a feeling. But that's my opinion. You will literally, I'll catch up with you. You'll be like, so how was London? And I'm like, oh, it was great. So what are you running from? And that's like the second follow-up thing. Or they'll be like, how was staying in an attic in Yugoslavia or wherever the fuck you were at? Yeah. It's like, you know, I wasn't in Yugoslavia. Well, it's, you know, I love you. You're my friend. I want to know what you're running from so I can help you escape. Or to turn around and confront it, you know, to turn around and look it in the eyes and say, here I am. I'm not running from anything. I'm running toward uncut dick and car. In Europe! In Europe! And you do the same. For sure. But mine's a little more measured. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But okay. So what's your favorite place you've ever been? I'd say Italy. I loved it. I stayed in Rome. And I've done that like two or three times. And I would go back a billion times. People there are hot. They are closeted. I feel like a lot of closeted gay men in Italy. Like you'll find them. They'll be like, oh, you're so beautiful. I want to write a poem about you. And they'll be like, let's go back to your place. Like I live with my mom. Yeah. And she doesn't know. And she does not know. Yeah. And my wife. Yeah. And my children. My kids know. Yeah. They have a pretty good idea. My kids know they're cool. But my wife and mom are not. We're on Roblox together. Yeah. And so I'm like, that is a little downer. But I think Italy's beautiful. Yeah, I'd say that's my favorite. I like London. I don't know if, like, I know, like, out of everything, it's like, that feels weird to say. London's just a really fun party place. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've had fun in London. We did. That was a fun trip. It was a really good time. That was a really good trip. I got my phone stolen that trip. You did. Yeah. Things happen to you. All the time. A guy came by while I was mid-Face time with some friends. guy comes by on a motorbike and just snatches it out of my hands. And I like didn't even have time to process. I was just like, I was like shark eyed blackout drawn. Yeah. I was just like, and I was like, I don't know where I'm going. And some guy was like, okay, well let's figure out your address and how to get you home. And I remember I got like an iPhone six S cause that all I could afford during that trip And we like on tour It was opening for you during that part of your tour And I spent the rest of that trip with an iPhone 6S and every photo I took of us together it looks like I've been eating KFC. The lens is just completely greased. I think Florence Pugh went to a show at one point. I took a picture of me and you in a mirror. She jumped up in front of the camera. I think it's probably the worst picture that's ever been taken of her. and it was like everywhere the next day and i was like oh my god i like hurt like it was bad the iphone success was a bad that was a funny trip because not only were all the pictures you were taking bad but we there were a lot of famous people around and so every morning i would wake up in london and there would be a new like twitter thread like florence pew hits the town with with a fat gay comedian we don't know of and it would just be pictures of us from the night i remember there was one i saw that was like i woke up one morning i had gotten like uncharacteristically drunk like i had gotten so fucked up one night we'd gone out dancing and i woke up to like 15 texts from friends that were all the same uh tweet and i went to the tweet and it was like it was like florence pew out in london with friends and it was a picture of it was me standing in the street like this and florence grinding on me yeah and us in the middle of like a street in london but i i don't know if she was drunk like the cursed child truly And I was so hammered And I was like alright that's a beautiful That's a beautiful time capsule of that evening I guess It was so good I think the caption on one of the photos Is just like it's me saying it's giving iPhone 6s It's a picture of Florence mid action Like just like face blurred So funny Incredible trip We sang karaoke that night In the world's smallest room With like 30 people And everyone was trying to hook up with somebody in that room Everyone was Except for you and I we were the only people that were actually there for karaoke. Taking it all too seriously. I'm holding the book with both hands and you're kind of organizing who's going next. We're all about logistics, which I appreciate. You and I are logistics gays. And everyone's trying to kiss. Actually, she's up next. Now that harmony and we'll see about the kissing. What about you? Where's the place that you've been that you absolutely would be there all the time if you could be? Oh, I love Amsterdam. I love Amsterdam. I have so much fun in Amsterdam. I just, I really enjoy it. Mexico City. I adore. Mexico City's fabulous. It's so good. It smells like steak all the time. It does. And I really appreciate that. I love that. I speak a teeny tiny bit of Spanish. Let's hear it. Survival Spanish. Hola. Que tal? Lo siento. Hablo un poco espanol, pero es muy mal. La mesa, la mesa? It's giving Friday Jr. Es posible? Friday Jr. in the face. One of my big embarrassing bad Spanish traits is that I just use es posible for any question. I'll just point at something. I'll be like, la mesa por cuatro, es posible? Es posible is like my... I think it works. It works, but it's humiliating. I'm just walking around a Spanish-speaking country being like, it's possible? Pointing at milk. And they're like, sure. I'm like, I'm a cafe con leche. I point at ice. I'm like, yellow? Es posible? They're like, so basically I've just said like coffee, milk, ice. It's possible. And they're like, and then, and by the way, they're like, yes, sir. Well, I mean, yeah, they speak English the whole time. They're like, why are you doing this? Also like saying it's possible. Like you can't, there's no way you're ever going to hear. No. Right. Cause it literally always is possible. Yeah. It's gonna be like, no coffee and milk together. Not going to happen here. I will say in Madrid, they did not. Madrid is the place I've been that they were the least forgiving or charmed by my bad Spanish. I was like, lo siento, mi español es muy mal. And they were like, okay. Which is appropriate. I'm in their country. I should know the language. Yeah, or like, I try to look things up. My elbow's cracking when I'm doing that. Okay, old. Officially in your 30s. But, wait, you're quite a bit older than me. No, this is good. I'm not making fun. You're quite a bit older than me. I'm turning 31 this week. Yeah. By the time this comes out, I'll be 31. Do you have any advice for me? Tone it down. Take it back a notch. Whatever this is, step back a little bit. Not about you anymore. Your old news. Don't do that. Don't do that. No, I think... Legit... Stop. Legitimate advice is don't pretend that you're older than you have to be. I hate when people in their 30s are like, oh, don't invite me out past 9 p.m. My body hurts. It's like, baby, that's MS. That has nothing to do with being 30. You need to move on. Yeah. Stop. No, I'll turn it down. Yeah. It's good advice. Yeah, please. You don't look like you want to be verbally degraded right now. I just want to be like you, kind of nuanced and understated. Well, shit. Say it again And hit your camera Show my nipple rings to the camera Nuance, understated I mean, you're doing 31 so far Okay, look at those shoes I'm not 31 yet Oh, wait, yeah, that's right Please When I'm 31, we'll talk about it No, I was hoping you'd have something earnest to say to me But I guess you're really not going to give me any advice No, that's my earnest advice Is go out and still be I used to be so fucking terrified of like there's going to be one day where I have to start wearing like golf polos and like like pants up to my titties yeah and then I learned that you just don't have to do that yeah I worked at a goth bar in Chicago called late bar that was their door their mean little door girl there for a little bit there's a couple that was working there Dan and Lisa and they're an older they're actually the people that got me to my first comedy show they're like do you want to host a comedy show at a goth bar in a Polish neighborhood on Wednesdays at 11 p.m. I'm like hell yeah uh but they were just like, you know, fully themselves and you know, in their fifties. And I just thought, Oh, after that point, like you don't have to worry about being, you know, your age or being older. I mean, sometimes there are certain people where it's like, you know, I have a friend whose mom is still wearing like Hollister polos. No, I think you're right. I was just actually talking to somebody about this last night that I'm getting so annoyed by as, as like a bunch of my friends are turning 30 and early thirties. So many people are doing this like really insane thing where they're like, we're in our thirties now. I mean, it's nine o'clock. We got to get home. We're in our thirties now. I'm like, and I've gotten trouble for this last time I said it on the show. I feel like people were a little mad at me, but like, I'm sorry. If you have a computer job, you are fine. You have an indoor computer job. You can stay out until 3 a.m. and do your job tomorrow. Your job is borderline fake. You have the energy and the time. You need to like relax. and see me with a computer job and now I'm addicted to amphetamines and I'm out here in these streets. You're in these streets. You're in these streets. I'm pushing. No, I think what you're saying is corrected. There's this idea of like, oh, I'm so exhausted and then you'll say something about that. They'll be like, well, what about the term I hate? The little horrors. All the horrors. Get myself a little treat. Are you mad at me? Shut the fuck up. Shut up. It's like a new iteration of touch my butt and buy me tacos. Yeah. it's like oh god the horrors the horrors of your nine to five computer job yeah you're fine the horrors of like you're scrolling through like infographics and people's like you know thirst traps of like them and like a swim like it's like come on i get that whatever but yeah move on also it's not a little treat it's dessert yeah thank you i feel like i'm taking myself out on a solo date sorry bitch that's called dinner you're not going on a solo date you're eating food yeah like a person does. Yeah. You know, stop making it so like, I don't know, a solo date I kind of like. I can't lie to you. That feels a little romantic. It's a little romantic. It's not romantic. Friday Junior. Solo date's a little romantic. I like that. Like, oh, I'm taking myself out on a date. Oh, I'm taking this guy over to my house and it's just me at my house. Why are you single? Do you think like what? Why don't you have a partner? You know, where's your like, you're like, you know. I'm just, I just avoid anything at all costs. Like I, and I do want one, but then when someone was like, I want that too, I'm like, okay, back up. Yeah. Whoa. Let's take a few steps back. That's crazy to say. Yeah. Um, and so I'm trying to be better about not oscillating so violently between, you know, I want a one night stand or I want to like a long relationship. It's like, I want to like pick something and be intentional about it. Yeah. I don't know. I've had ops to do it And then I'll like absolutely find a way to back out of it I'm like oh you know he's posting Like and this one was a Reasonable one I was talking to this guy And I found his Facebook and then by found I don't mean like oh it popped up I looked for it And I was like I need to know what's going on And he was posting like pictures of like the rug rats As like adults You know he's like wow it's like Tommy Pickles with like a briefcase And he's like this is just what it's like And I was like fuck You can never have sex with me again and that kind of stuff you know just snowballs into it my friends are like that's not that bad I'm like yeah it is that's really egregious I had like a Deathly Hallows watercolor tattoo sorry I'd rather you post that you're an Al Qaeda I'd rather you take that fucking arm off completely at the elbow I don't want to see it but that's my story are you dating anybody? what? what why would you ask me that i forgot your ace yeah no i am uh like at this point i guess not really newly i'm out of a relationship um i'm dating i'm seeing people um i don't know dating is hard it's just like kind of a hard prospect to be i like dating i think it's pretty fun but trying to find the person who look i acknowledge the same thing that poly people acknowledge as true okay when they say like it is really hard to expect one person to be everything i understand that that's true i am still looking for it because i'm not willing to i'm not willing to outsource like yes i know it's hard to find one person who is like you mean outsource like go to the philippines no i would do that um no i just mean like when poly people are like yeah some one person shouldn't have to be your like financial partner sexual partner best friend etc i'm like unfortunately i am still searching for that yeah um and that is really hard to find so I'm just out here looking. Yeah. Do you use apps? I'm on all the apps. Hell yeah. It's just like how it is. I don't really want to be and I do. I think it's romantic. The idea of meeting my partner on an app. I do romanticize it that I'm like, wow, of all the people in the world that are on this app, we found each other and actually made it to the date and then continued seeing each other. But yeah, the apps are just like, that's how it's going to happen. I'm sure of it. Oh, absolutely. And I've said it before myself. Everyone says it. They're like, you know what? I'm just done with the apps. I have to meet my person. No, you're not. I've never said that and I'll never do it. I know for a fact. I've never said that. I will never do that. I hate when my friends do this. I know it works for other people, but for me I'm going to meet my person. No, you're not. They're not waiting for you at the bar. I'm sorry. That is too impossible. We're too busy. Get on the fucking apps and go meet someone. Stop it. 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Grab a handful of true fruit when you're watching TV. Classic thing we all do. Or maybe when you're winding down at the end of a long day or put them out on the kitchen table next time you're hosting friends or enemies. And watch the feeding frenzy begin, I always say. Be sure to save a bag for yourself, though. Trust me. They go fast. So next time you're at the grocery store, be on the lookout for those blue bags with fruit found in the freezer aisle. Thank you, True Fruit, for sponsoring this episode. on the flip of it though there is a like a time like when i'll be like i'll be having the worst day and i'm like i i'm thinking about this like kind of situation and then my phone will go off it's like you got a message on grinder from like someone called like buy fart slave yeah and i'm just like yeah yeah grinder is a really insidious place yeah that will like have me thinking i'm I feel annoyed when people try to act uppity on Grindr. When they act like they're so shocked that people are there for sex. I'm like, this is what this place is. Yeah, on the flip of it, when someone's like, I'm here to find my date. And it's like, no, you're not. No, you're not. This is not the place. Or when people are really inconsistent where their profile is just a really hot picture of their torso and the top of their pubes And then their bio is like looking for real connections no hookups I like then put a shirt on Like stop put a shirt on and show your face Then what are like pick you don get to stop it Like keep the pube pick in there, but like make it pick three. Pick four. Yeah. Sure. I can know about your pubes, but like, I love to know about people's pubes. I think we should have a pube Renaissance more Bush. Yeah. Yeah. I want Bush coming out the sides. I want coming out of places. It doesn't need to be coming out of. Yeah. Wake that up. Okay. Okay. Tea. Tea, girl. Am I spilling? Am I spilling with that? Why'd you low-key spill? Why are you low-kenually spilling on the So True podcast? Did you say low-kenually? I'm low-kenually spilling right now. I'm not even going to touch that shit. That's where I will say I'm too old about that. You don't know low-kenually? No, no. I just learned how to start using cracked recently. This is low. Someone was like, did you get cracked? And I was like. like low-key you're learning it as it's like on its way out low-key and genuinely look in you and stupid really stupid but i actually like it i do like i mean yeah i love like an abreeve yeah low-kenually i'm digging i'd explain to someone what's a portmanteau the other day and portmanteau yes of course yeah and someone was like what is that and i was like gay people do it all the time and the only example i could think of was there was a woman on like my strange addiction who was addicted to collecting santa claus figurines and she was like it's like I'm living in a Santa fantasy. A Santa-see. And I was like, and that has stayed with me the whole time. Yeah, you like something like that. Lo-ken-you-en-ly. Lo-ken-you-en-ly. Okay. Feel free to use that with a young person in your life. Yeah. It's not for me. You're going to catch me a year from now being like, so, lo-ken-you-en-ly. I'm lo-ken-you-en-ly feeling this. Yeah, you have to stop me. I'm not, yeah, nothing, I don't think anything necessarily sounds cool coming out of my mouth. You know what I mean? Like I think I am cool But I don't think when I say something like that It sounds cool It stopped me, it made me believe it It was a good segue off of me Going on deep down about bushes Yeah, no, I like your feelings on pubes I think you're very body positive Thank you Yeah, you love all bodies I love it all It's one of the things we differ on What do you mean? I don't love all bodies Which ones do you hate the most? Oh God, fat ones Oh God God, when I see a fat person, I'm like, yuck. I've heard you do that before. I've seen it. Hit the gymnasio, queen. It's possible. Gymnasio. It's possible. Get your fat ass on the stair master. Yuck. I do like all bodies. I will say sometimes when people get too muscly, that to me is like, you're a bookshelf now at this point. I don't see them sexually. Your furniture. Yeah. But then if it's a little bit like padded muscle, love that. Yeah. But outside of that, yeah I'm like the Walmart greeter Do you have any idea how strong I am? No It made me think of it I've never been asked that before in my entire life Do you want to feel my muscles? I don't want to feel your muscles Come on That's so far Get on there Give me some room Hold on, I'm coming, I'm coming Oh my god, Caleb People don't know He's really strong People don't know I would let you feel the thighs But I'd have to get up to really I think we're fine I think we're good How did you get so strong? I just am lucky and blessed by God. In many, many facets. But yeah, I'm incredibly strong. I could lift almost anything. I want to get that way. I want to have big arms and I want to have big chi-chis. You shouldn't have lost so much weight. You lost a bunch of weight. I did. And that's what happened. You don't have the growth anymore. And now to gain muscle, you have to be able to eat food. And I had weight loss surgery. So you can only eat like a Ferrero Rocher at a time. That's going to take me forever. I know. It was really annoying to hang out with you after your weight loss surgery. It still does. No, you've gotten better. You're like, no, you've stretched it out. But right after your weight loss surgery, it was really annoying to get meals with you. Oh, my God. Because you'd order something to take one bite and be like, oh, God, can we get out of here? I was like, God, can you undo it? Go back to Turkey and ask them to expand it. I was like really tired. I remember specifically we ate at the Vig in Chicago. and I was like, you took like one bite of a meatball and you seriously were. Okay, to be fair, it was high acid. I was really pissed. I was like, AJ, it didn't used to be like this. It is so hard to balance it. And also too, even now I'm like, I want to just floor like a dozen dumplings and to only be able to have like three of them, I'm like, this is heartbreaking. It's tough. Yeah. And I have to eat those dumplings all the rest of the day. It sucks. Yeah. I did, when I got surgery, I told the guy, the guy that was doing it, Louis and Istanbul somewhere. I was like hey can I also like maybe do like What if we did a fat transfer and I got like a really huge ass And he was like you can only do one or the other Because if you lose weight you're going to lose the ass anyway So it just wouldn't make sense And I don't have an ass I want a big ass too Are you squatting? No I'm not doing anything I got a trainer recently and he was like what's your fitness goal And I was like I want to be able to throw someone so hard I kill them Joking I'm not going to do it Because I want to lighten the mood. I'm so uncomfortable at the gym. So I said that. And he, without even smiling, goes, we can get you there. Hey, listen to me. Take it seriously. We will. You will. And I was like, oh, it is possible. I love that. Is he hot? He kind of seemed hot when you imitated him. He's really hot. Yeah. Yeah. He seemed hot when you imitated him. Yeah. We can get you there from like a hot guy being serious. For him to skip over the fact that I want to murder someone by just shoving them against a wall and get right to the fact of like he's thinking about the arms he's thinking about the force yeah he's like he's like that's my skill set to get someone to do that i'm like have you done it before like that's cool it was hot to me that is hot so i'm gonna try that we'll see i don't know that's crazy i had no idea you're you're booked like that yeah i'm incredibly strong and i love it i love to be so strong yeah i love to i need to start lifting weights again because I miss feeling strong, you know? I miss, like, showing off how strong I am. Are there any drawbacks to being so strong, Caleb? I mean, genuinely. What's the downside of that? Yeah, well, it's, like, it's a giant responsibility. Like, I could literally hurt you or anyone in this room. Like, if Nicole stepped to me right now and, like, she was literally just trying to, like, tidy the carpet or something, right? She's trying to, like, move the cords around. If she stepped to me in a way that accidentally felt aggressive, If Nicole took two steps towards me in an aggressive way, I might accidentally take her to the ground like that. And she would get extremely hurt because she's so small and I'm incredibly strong. Nicole, come take two aggressive steps towards me right now. Get over here, Nicole. No, I don't want you to have to get hurt. All men in the room and you're like, I'm going to put Nicole on the wall to Jericho. If Nicole, I'm going to pile drive her into the ground. I could hurt you in chance as well, but I'm just, the biggest case is like, the biggest, the biggest, the biggest threat in the room right now is to Nicole because she's small. Yeah. And also she, she, if she stepped towards me in an aggressive way, I fear that I would react. And I don't even know what that gesture is. Is that her, you're bending her spine back? She's stepping to me, she's stepping to me aggressively to fix the cord. I'm grabbing her. I'm grabbing her. This is on the shoulder. Yeah. This is on the side of her head. Yeah. And I'm taking her down there. Down to the ground. I'm putting her down there, and she would get extremely hurt due to the force of my muscles. Yeah. So that's probably what you would say the downside is. So it's a drawback. Because I don't want to hurt Nicole. I don't want to hurt Nicole. She's a sweet girl. She makes the show happen. Yeah. But I would put her down. It's the testosterone going through your body. I have a lot of testosterone, and I'm big and strong, and Nicole's so small. And if you ever step towards me aggressively, people should just know this. if you even step towards me in a way that could be misconstrued. Yeah. I would put you down. Doesn't matter what age, what protected traits you are. I don't care what your, yeah, identity is. I would put, I would put a non-binary person through the wall. If they stepped to me on, in the wrong way, the elderly, this, the infirm. Oh yeah. Do you like old people? Old people? Oh, I love them. Like, what do you mean? Oh, I love them. Like, what do you mean? What do I mean? What do you mean? love them. I love old people. Yeah, I know. I heard you. I think they're a fascinating cohort. Would I put them through the wall if they step towards me? Yeah, or like hook up with them? If an old person stepped towards me aggressively, I fear that I would hurt them. Yeah, I don't want to. That's just when you're this strong, like that's the risk you run. Yeah. You know, I would need to be so sad to see if I hurt an old person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hate it. I saw an old woman fall in the ice the other day and I no that's horrible and i pulled my phone out set it up i watched her slide she just slides myself going over there to help her no i like i had to obviously keep it did you actually see an old lady fall i did i did dude one time i was walking with a friend through Brooklyn, and this woman, she was, it's not funny, she was my sister, and I love her, but this woman came like barreling around the corner, she must have been in like her 40s, she came barreling around the corner, and when I tell you, she came barreling around the corner, and she's not old, so you don't feel as bad, but she comes barreling around the corner, she like slips on a newspaper or something, and she like flies through the air, falls, hits the ground, rolls, hits her head on a city trash can, and then she's like and I go over and I'm like I go over and I'm like oh my god are you okay I'm so that's so scary I'm so sorry I'm like helping her up she's bleeding she's bleeding she like scraped her hand really bad her hair's all fucked up and she's like I'm good I'm good and I was like I was like come here let's go get you some water and a band-aid or something I'm trying to shake no I'm good I'm good you sweet soul I'm good I'm good call me a sweet soul which was nice yeah that's really nice and I was like let me get you some band-aids or something I was like are you okay can I call you an Uber or something? Like, where do you need to go? And she was like, I'm good, I'm good. And then she limped away bleeding. And I never saw her again, but I spent the rest of the evening thinking about her and worrying about her. I'm sorry that she did that to you. I know, I hate that it happened to me. She ruined my evening. She fucked your evening up. When she hit that trash can, I was like, girl. Oh my God. I mean, she truly was running around the corner, slipped on a newspaper, flew through the air, banged her head on the trash can. Well, at least she tried to help her. I saw that old woman fall and I know exactly what it would look like trying to help someone. You know when people are already helping I want to go over there and just be like Oh my god Girl, someone's already helping her? I'm not even bending my knees. How old was she? I'm just kind of at the waist. How old was the woman? I don't care. And she was just You know Old enough to visibly be like that's an old person and you know old people fall a certain way They kind of crumple They don't like fall fully flat back. There's no... They're not limber and loose. It's just fully flat. That's how I could tell. That's why you have to do yoga. I know. You have to do yoga. You have to be doing yoga. I'm doing yoga three or four times a day. Really? Are you doing it right now? This is yoga. I will be limber at an old age. When I fall, it will be beautiful. You're going to fall into the splits and pull yourself back up. Do you think she broke anything or was hurt? probably I think so I'm serious I don't know there was three people already over there if I go if I go over there people are going to know I'm faking out people know my heart wasn't in it if it happened closer if I was first on the scene it would be different I'm crossing the street to three other people what am I going to do kind of like hold my arms like this my heart wasn't in it Like, there was nothing to do. Someone's already on the phone calling. Someone's already holding her. What am I going to do? Offer holding her. Someone's scooping the fragments of her skull back together. Someone's already on the phone calling. Someone's holding her. Where do I fit in? Yeah. And my bus is like, it's coming. There's a bus coming. I don't want to miss my bus. It's 10 minutes. Wait. Well, two wrongs will make a right. If I miss my bus and she fell down, nothing got better. It's a lose-lose. Someone should be winning out of here and it should be me. Anyway, sorry to her. Sorry to her family. R.I.P. to the diva. To the diva. R.I.P. to a doll. Yeah. Lo-kenually loved her down. Lo-kenually we lost the doll. We lost, yeah. We did not protect the dolls. No. God needed an angel that day. A really old angel. And he needed it in a bad way. That kind of was really sad to see. Oh, AJ that's horrible. I know. That's horrible. I know. I'm starving right now. I know. I'm so hungry. We have sushi on the way but It can't come as quick enough. No. I'm just hungry as can be. I know. Hungry, hungry caterpillar. I can eat a leaf right now. Yeah, you have to bulk up. It's the strength. It's the muscles. You have to beat the shit out of Nicole after this. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole's bringing the sushi over. Put her on the ground. Anybody believe if that tuna bowl comes at me in an aggressive way? If she were to step at me with the tuna bowl in a way that I wasn't clear on what was happening, I would hurt her and I would never want to hurt Nicole. Have you ever been in a fight? Weak girl. Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. Did you win? Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah. She was quite a bit older. She was quite a bit older, this woman. But she stepped towards me in an aggressive manner, and I put her to the ground. Yeah. Yeah. I've never. Wow, I didn't know that about you. Yeah. This is all fresh to me. What else do you want to know? Ask me anything. Why don't you ask me something for once? I'm tired of interviewing you. I just asked you if you fought someone. And you said, yeah, aggressive steps, push to the ground. You hit another woman. We got that. What's your middle name? Jarek. Yeah. Austin. Austin Jarek. Andrew Jarek. Austin Jarek. American. American. Oh, my God. Yeah. Austin Jarek American. Yep. The all-American. Madokin. Yeah. Madokin. Yeah. Sometimes people say my last name. They say it like with a flourish. They're like, Madokin. And I'm like, why are you saying it like that? Yeah, that's tough. Like show hosts. Like you have like castanets no one can see. Just say it normal. Well, they're trying to be respectful of your culture. What's your middle name? Daniel. Caleb Daniel. That's a hot name. Caleb means bold. You want to get the other one? You're going to get the other one for good question. You cower. Caleb means bold. Daniel means my grandpa. My grandpa. Bold grandpa. Caleb Daniel. I don't know what Andrew or Jarek means. It's not my business. Jarek is extremely white guy from Kansas business. It is. That's a very white guy from Kansas business. I don't know what your mom was thinking. Well, she's a white woman from Kansas. So it was probably on track. But your dad didn't get involved? I think he had some say. I think he was like, oh, well, yeah. They had some say about like Andrew. His middle name's Andrew. But is that anything? Who cares? Your dad is so gay. My dad is not gay. My dad just appreciates the finer things. He does. He's like, it's such, it's so funny to see him be like, so I would have friends come over and he be like Orlando have you ever had a friend whose dad has shoes imported from Italy Let me show you this closet He like shows off his shoes He was like have you ever seen a guy who has 11 Rolexes and pulls out like 11 Rolexes He's just a very like kind of like Guido Scarface type of guy. Yeah, that's cute. That's adorable. Like I posted a picture on my story the other day picking up his shirt from the cleaners and it was just a silk Scarface shirt. And all the buttons on it were guns, like just chrome guns. and like the lady at the cleaners handed it to me and I was like, it was heavy because of the gun buttons. And I'm like, that's something that he likes to wear. Hey, he likes that shirt. I don't know. Let's clean it up. That's really sweet. How often are you back in Kansas? Like once a year. What about you? You have a house. You tried getting me to get a house in Kansas City and you're hardly ever there. I still think you should. It's not about me being there. It's a great investment. I want you to put down roots. I'm tired of seeing you on the run. I think I'm glad that I will say I'm very, very glad that you've put down some roots in New York. It's making me very happy. AJ, I'm serious. When you told me you were getting a place, because what the listeners might not know is that for a number of years, you had no home. You were bouncing around the world. Every time I checked in with you, you'd be doing a new, and it's very fabulous and chic, but I worried about your heart and soul. And when I found out you were getting a lease in New York, I'm not kidding. When you told me that later on that day, I just sat like this and went, that makes me so happy. I just like to see you have some stability. Yuck. Because I worry about you. Yeah. You were happy when I was no longer unhoused, as you were saying. Yeah, I don't like you being a runabout and a vagrant. Yeah. And I always felt that from you. Yeah. I'm glad to be here, too. I love being in New York. What's your favorite thing about New York City? Everyone here is really hot, even when they don't need to be. I know we keep coming back to this. I'm always just like, everyone's hot, but they are. Like, every single person. Like, the ugliest person is like, even still, they can get it. Because they're in New York. They're in New York. Yeah. Yeah. And then, um, what else? Also, everything is hot in New York. Food here is so good. The food is amazing. Yeah. But everything is hot in New York because about people, because it's like, if you're dressed really fashionably and uncomfortable looking, that's incredibly difficult to do. Like, I know you probably walked two miles in those shoes. So I'm like, that's hot. Or if you're wearing like, when a really hot guy in New York wears like jeans and running shoes, like really practical. I'm like, oh my God, I need you so bad. Like I love, I just, everything is hot in New York. I don't know why. It really is. I, yeah, I can't get enough of it so far. Again, going back to food, I am just fucking it up. Yeah. I mean, you know what I mean? Two, three bites a day. Two, three bites. Oh, man, you're putting away one, two spoonfuls of something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and they're good. Yeah. And they're good spoonfuls. Yeah, and you're just feeling as full as you've ever felt. How long are you going to be staying in New York? New York? Yeah. What do you mean? You're going to be here for a while? Like this trip? Just in general. Like how long will I have at least like a place here? You move around quite a bit too. I move around? Not in an unhoused way. But I'm not running from anything, and you know that. What am I running towards? Happiness, joy, excitement, bigger muscles. Good meals, time with friends, seeing the world, concerts, essay books. I love an essay book. Oh, yeah, you're a reader. I'm a reader. What are you into right now? You know what? I've become way more of a reader in the last three years. There was a period there in my adult life where I really was not reading, and it's a humiliating dark chapter in my life. a chapter you are reading yeah cover to cover baby are you like a non-fiction person are you doing like the the fairy sex book stuff fantasy stuff never i i unfortunately i can't access whatever those people are accessing it is crazy um i'm reading yeah i'm reading mostly non-fiction right now i'm reading um work won't love you back it's a book about like the origins of like work and labor and who gets paid for what and why uh it's pretty good it's a little dense um it's about my level. There's a book called All Things Are Too Small that I loved last year. It's a really good essay book on maximalism and minimalism. I just finished another David Sedaris book. I love him. He only annoys me half the time. See, that's good. David Sedaris. Half the time I think he's brilliant and half the time I find him so annoying and I say that with deep gay guy reverence. David Sedaris to me is an icon. Sometimes he'll do a little bit of a conservative older gay guy thing where he's like, I don't want to be queer. I just want to be gay. And it's like, shut up. But then he'll describe an interaction at the supermarket that I'm like, you're one of our most brilliant minds. Yeah, absolutely. I think that's also important to have with anybody. You want to be kind of like half annoyed with them. I like problematic figures. I like, I love, part of the reason I loved Lena Dunham is because she was always saying something she had no business saying. Oh yeah. And I think that's amazing. That's what our public figures are supposed to be. I love Lena Dunham. I don't do enough of it. I play it too safe. If anything, I need to push more into that territory. Oh, I don't know. Yeah. No, I think you do a good job of it. Okay. Yeah. You're someone's half annoying gay guy, I'm sure. Oh, I'm most people's half annoying gay guy. Yeah. That's what kind of bothers me sometimes when people think I don't know that I'm annoying. You think I don't know? Oh, you know. I know. You know how to turn on. You know how to direct it. I like it. That's good. I like to be a little annoying. You know what I don't do? And I wonder if you, how often you think you do this? Because you and I have a similar skill. You and I both have the absolute power to undo somebody. like I feel like we could both see someone meet someone and figure out exactly what would like bring them apart like like how to insult them to their core yeah I do not use it no it's always there though it's there and I know I can do it because I've done it in extreme circumstances when I've been cornered like a rat needed to chew my way out but but the skill is there do you when do you remember the last time you used it probably accidentally after like a fourth martini like two weeks ago. Nice. Yeah. That's when it starts unlocking for me. I'm like, oh, I could be so mean right now. Or also like someone like elbow checks me. I don't like that. At that point, I get like really heated. Yeah. Or on the road, terrible road rage. Yeah. I get so mad when I drive. I want everyone to die. I get mad walking a lot. Yeah. It's a pretty clear system. Yeah. That people cannot figure out. Oh yeah. There's traffic lanes. Yes. Also walk with purpose. If you need to do this, pull over, bitch. Oh my God. Find a fucking outlet. The stairs up to the train. Someone starts rearranging their bag mid-step, I'll kill us both. I'll take us both down a staircase. I'm grabbing them. I'm putting them down. I'm dead-legging them right in there. I get so mad. Someone's re-raging their bag, you jump up and grab them and just fall backwards. Yeah. I'm ready to go. It pisses me off to no end. I don't like it. People have got to learn how to walk. Yeah. Or, God forbid, you're walking, someone steps up. This is one of my biggest pet peeves in New York. Any major city. When you are stepping out of a building onto a busy street that has two lanes of traffic, The right side is for walking that way and the left that way. When you are stepping out into a traffic lane, you need to immediately match the pace of the people walking or you need to step out and step off. People who walk out of a store and just kind of start looking around. Kill yourself. Check that phone before you leave the fucking restaurant. I cannot stand it. Figure out the direction you're going before you step outside. People having that, like, I love this city moment. Great. Do it fucking elsewhere. It's pissing me off. Love it on a side street. Get away from here. Love it on a one-way street. I love that we think about it as traffic, because I really do. I can visualize myself like I'm in a mini vehicle. I'm merging into this walking lane. And I hate, too, when people take up too much spots on the sidewalk. And you have to kind of do that thing. I have to start doing a half-jog to get around them. Oh, when a group of friends is like five abreast on a sidewalk, having their fucking girls moment, Shoshana and Marnie need to fucking line up. Pull them behind you. Take it out. Stop. You can't walk four abreast on a public sidewalk. move into line and start you know but then i understand that it's there's no there's no my life there's just capital l life and i'm just a player in it it's helpful it's not all about me look you reach like a new solution no it's this is what it is though i get so frustrated by things and then i i get frustrated for like a minute and 15 seconds and then i go that doesn't matter and it's not you're you're not the king yeah you know if i were king of the world all water would be dr pepper but i'm not oh my god yes and we need that there wouldn't be water there would not be water just be dr pepper i fucking hate water this is all ever clear oh wait is water a sponsor of the show i love water it's so good h2o like the compound of water sponsors the show no we're having a problem no water's good it's fine yeah it's important yeah should it be darker should it be carbonated? Should it have Splenda in it? For sure. Of course it should. Of course it should. AJ, what's so true to you? Oh god, yeah. Oh my fucking god, you didn't prepare. I did, I did. So true to me, I would say I think that people should be really generous with their close friends stories in terms of who they allow on their close friends. Specifically me. AJ. I can be more detailed than that. Also, too. No, I like that. I was just going along. Okay. Do you agree? No. What do you mean? What do you mean that you should just be on everyone's close friend story? I think a lot of people should add me their close friend story. Yeah. With the caveat of this, and the other part of this is so true, is don't use your close friend story to post shit that is like, I don't know. Make it juicy. Make it good. Show your butthole a little bit. I do this. You do a great job. My close friends is not interesting. You don't have to lie. It is. It is industry. Industry. industry. It is interesting. No, it's like very like you get a little bit of insight into who you are. But I have people who will put me on Close Friends like hey, the stuff that's going on in the news right now kind of sucks. Girl, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Like, show me that V. Also, why couldn't that be posted on Maine? Exactly. I get annoyed when people post things on Close that so clearly belongs to Maine. Like, they'll post something like that that they're like everything's crazy right now. Hope we're all doing well. I'm like, you can post that to Maine. What do you have going on that that can't be on Maine? Also, just like get it therapist. Don't do that here with me. Give me some juicy gossip. A picture that is really inappropriate. Or yeah, that's really it. AJ, if you want to look up porn, you're totally allowed to. I'm seeing porn every day, whether I like it or not. I'm a gay man on Twitter. On Twitter? On X. You're on X? I love it. Really? I love it. I'm watching. I'm just seeing everyone's discourse about stupid shit. It's so funny. You might be the only person I know who's on X. I'm on Snapchat. Are you? I am on Snapchat You're on Snapchat? Yeah, me diverting from X Here's something worse I am on Snapchat I didn't know that about you Yeah, it's so good And like the little story It highlights It's like this woman Paid 11 million dollars To look like a polar bear And I watched that shit down I had to tap through it For like almost half an hour I can't believe you're on X On Snapchat I am I'm on Truth Social I'm on Blue Sky I'm posting Yeah I'm an influencer on Blue Sky But yeah, that's what I feel about Close friends it doesn't mean juicy I agree sometimes gay guy close friends is so difficult because it's like gay guy close friends is two things gay guy close friends is either nudes and it's sometimes nudes you want to see and sometimes nudes you don't sometimes you get added to a gay guy close friends that you're like whoa I I've never seen you naked before and now I have and am I supposed to be wanting to fuck you like what is the idea yeah that's actually exciting then another thing I've noticed about gay guy close friends is that they're like criticizing pop albums stop it's like you can criticize that pop album on main They're like They're being like Ooh not her best work And it's like You're not Post that on main That doesn't need to be on close They're like Oh she thought she shit In the mother toilet And didn't wash her hands And she did it And it's like You can say that Literally anywhere Yeah you don't have to say that at all But if you do And also The fact that you thought That I wanted to be included In that with you Could not be more wrong Gay guy close friends Is a very nefarious space But when someone has Like the delete this gif And it's like over them Like showing like wiener neck Yeah I'm like yeah I'm here for that Yeah for sure Let me stick around You say wiener neck like the base of the wiener? Are they a sponsor of the show? Water and wiener neck. Water and wiener neck. Wiener neck really upset me, and I'm not kidding. I saw it in your face. I don't know why you said that. You know what I'm talking about? The shoulder? I don't know why you put wiener neck. All right, are you ready? Yeah. I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, AJ, we're going to give you 50 US dollars. Really? From water. Oh, fuck. water is sponsoring the segment okay you ready we are open by the way I just want to tell any sponsors listening we are open to selling this segment for a lot of money if anyone wants to sponsor this segment go ahead and reach out to wave thank you you ready Gwyneth Paltrow is an only child false one brother the band The Who was formed in Australia false England Garden City Kansas has sister cities in Italy and Costa Rica yes true Florida is the closest US state to Africa true false it's Maine bats are the only mammals that can fly true true an RPO in football stands for run powered offense yes false run pass option mad tv ran for 15 seasons false true zero zero is an even number no true google google was originally called back rub google was originally called back rub back rub false true lightning never strikes the same place twice false false charlie xcx his middle name is emma true a standard game of bowling consists of 12 frames false it's 10 subway is older than jersey mikes subway is older than jersey mikes true false snakes have eyelids false false dwight d eisenhower is born in kansas true false born in texas raised in kansas how do you do a strong six is that like the worst we've had in a really long time that is so crazy asking about zero being an even number that actually pissed me off that's the one that got you that really made me upset and also the one that I got right was Charlie's middle name being Emma which would be the middle name yeah Charlie Emma XCX I hated that I don't write the questions who does? Nicole to the ground to the ground No, it's Chance. Chance does it. I just didn't want you to have to fight a man. Well, if you're not going to fight one. No, I would never fight a man. I have so much respect for men. Women, on the other hand. Your misogyny is pretty pronounced. Why do you have such a problem with women? I love women. Don't put that on me. I was actually thinking today, I don't listen to any music by men. Whatsoever. You're a pick me. I know. Drake. Oh. Oh, I know. I know. Stop. I listened to a lot of Eminem. Not kidding. Lately, especially. Lately, especially. I've been listening to a lot of Eminem. Yeah, we can tell by how you talked about throwing Nicole to the ground. If she stepped towards me aggressively. I know. And I didn't know. If I didn't see the sushi, I would put her to the ground. Nicole has been. I wish my everyone can't see. Nicole has been watching me do this every time like this. Just one finger over her mouth, just smiling. I listen to Eminem, no one blinks. Because she doesn't think I'll put her on the ground. Do you want to tell people where they can find you? Yeah. No longer on the streets. I'm in an apartment now. You can find me on Instagram at AJDeluxe. I love you. I love you so much. Thanks for doing it, honey. Want to get the other arm just to be safe? Yeah, get me in there. It's Christ. Yeah, we'll get the thighs off camera. But you need to know about the thighs. Have you guys felt my muscles? Yes. Nicole, do you want to grab my thigh later? Don't do it, Nicole. It's a trick. Nicole, actually, am I allowed to talk like this? This is Nicole's exhibit A. This could be in a courtroom someday. All right, we did it.